Chapter Text
It was strange being back. The town was no different. The train station was the same, maybe slightly dulled by the years of rain. The roads were cracked in the same way they had always been. The trees didn’t appear to be any taller or fuller, but maybe autumn was to blame for that. The walk to his grandparents house hadn’t changed either, rights and lefts identical to the ones he took ten years ago.
It was an old house, paint peeling and yellowed. There was a driveway barely big enough to fit a car, and yet somehow they managed. Next to the door was a potted plant, a cupressus that had tripled in size since the last time he saw it. He knocked and waited. There was a rustle from within the house, a muffled voice, and then the door was being jerked open and he was getting pulled into a hug.
“Yunho! My darling boy, you made it.” His grandmother was at least a head shorter than him and yet no matter how much he grew, the comfort of being in her arms had never changed.
“Hello.” He said into her hair, squeezing her gently.
She pulled away, ushering him inside the house. He kicked his shoes off as he went. “Look at you, you have gotten so tall and your hair is so long and, and is it blonde?”
He chuckled at her enthusiasm, following her through the house and into the kitchen as she spoke. “It's dirty blonde, yes.”
“Why would you do that to your hair?” She said and reached up, tangling her hands into the strands and inspecting it closely.
“I just felt like it, I guess. You don’t like it?” He raised a brow as she grimaced.
She held his face in her hands. “It will grow on me. You will always look handsome to me. Even when your hair feels like wheat.” She pinched at the hair at his sideburns before moving a few steps back. “Take your bags upstairs, your grandfather is currently resting so I don’t need your help immediately.”
Yunho nodded in understanding and headed to his room. It was smaller than he had grown used to and it was decorated the exact same way it had been when he stayed there as a child. The walls were a blinding blue he had forgotten he had once chosen, and they were still lined with posters of Marvel superheroes. His bed sheets were Spiderman themed, bright red with cobwebs, and silhouettes of skyscrapers along the bottom. The desk was stacked with dusty fairy tales he never quite finished but still often dreamed of, and diaries whose pages had overflowed with stories of his own. Memories filled every corner of the room, ones long forgotten like images of a lanky boy with shaggy hair and shrill laughter, and momentarily he felt an intense surge of overwhelm before he shook it away and started to unpack.
He hadn’t brought much, traveling across the world came with its limits, so it wasn’t long before he was back in the kitchen. He fell back into the routine from his childhood, staying by the sink and cleaning the dishes as they were being used, laying the table when the clock struck five and folding the serviettes into perfect diamonds.
“No need to lay for three, your grandfather won’t be joining us tonight.” His grandmother said.
“Should I bring him a serving after we have eaten?” Yunho asked, staring down at the six metal chopsticks he had picked up.
“Maybe, we can ask him later.”
An array of traditional food was placed on the table one by one, their scents swirling around him in an elegant dance. They took a moment to pray before he served his grandmother a little bit of everything.
Once she had taken her first bite he grabbed some kimchi and quickly began to eat. “I have missed your cooking, Aunty’s kimchi isn’t as good as yours.”
She smiled and Yunho took note of the extra creases around her eyes. “That is because I make it the way I know you like it.”
“Thank you."
“How is everyone?”
Yunho swallowed his mouthful of rice before he spoke. “They are alright, Gunho has started university this year, he is studying law, the smart idiot.” He said with a fond chuckle. “Mums doing better, Dad too, they might be able to go back to work soon. Aunty has been taking care of us well, she misses Gunho but she won't admit it.”
“She has always been my most stubborn child. I’m glad your parents are doing well, we have been so worried. We prayed every night.”
“I know, but they are doing better now so you don’t have to worry too much anymore.” Yunho tried to reassure.
His grandmother reached over and patted his hand. “I am a mother, I will always worry.” Yunho nodded in understanding.
“How is Grandad, his surgery was earlier this week wasn’t it? Is his recovery going well?” He asked.
“Doctors said he is recovering at a slower pace than they would like but have high hopes that he will be able to walk again. He has physio twice a week and needs to do his exercises at home.” She explained.
“Who has been helping you whilst you’ve been waiting for me?”
His grandmother's face visibly brightened at the question. “That Song boy that used to live down the road! He is such a lovely boy Yunho, he even waited at the hospital with me whilst your grandfather was in surgery. Made sure we got home alright after it and has been taking us to all of his appointments. He truly has gone above and beyond for us.”
“Song Mingi?” Yunho asked in surprise.
“Yes! You used to play together when you were little do you remember? You were glued to the hip for years.”
“I remember him, he still lives here?” He asked.
She hummed in agreement. “He moved to Seoul when he was eighteen and moved back a few years ago, into one of those fancy bungalows on the edge of town. He plays professionally now, did you know? He plays for the local team and does lots of friendly games in the neighbourhood, he explained it to me a while ago but you know me I don’t fully understand it all, or remember it.”
Yunho watched as she rambled on about Mingi and he felt his chest tighten at the information he had just gained. “Mingi still plays volleyball?” He asked in poorly masked shock.
“Have you been listening to me? He plays professionally and has done so for years. I thought you were friends, why do you not know this?” His grandmother asked, a confused frown on her face.
“I lost contact with him when we moved away. Neither of us had phones and we couldn’t use the landlines because of how expensive it was. The last time I spoke to him was the day I left. He always said he wanted to leave this town, so it surprises me to hear that he is still here, and that he still plays volleyball.” As he explained he noticed her face soften in understanding.
“I did think it was strange that you never brought him up but I understand now. He has a game this weekend, why don’t you go? It would be nice to catch up with an old friend.”
Yunho thought for a moment. “I shouldn’t leave the two of you alone.”
“We can survive a couple hours without you.” She said, her tone dismissive. “It is at the gymnasium the two of you liked to visit all the time, around two in the afternoon, you’ll be able to get a ticket at the door.” Yunho could tell that she wasn’t going to change her mind and truthfully he couldn’t find a genuine reason not to go.
He was curious about Mingi, the boy he grew up with who still lives in the town he used to hate. The town really was no different to when he was last there.
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Martial Sports Gymnasium. Large and wide and intimidating and a far away dream. MSG held professional sporting events throughout the year, sports ranging from ones played on the court to ones played in water. It wasn’t the biggest in the region but it was the one all young athletes from areas nearby aspired to someday play at. Growing up Yunho had visited the gymnasium more times than he could count. He came with his family, his school and even his best friend. He watched any sport they had to offer, enthralled by the strength the athletes carried and the synergy they showcased when playing in teams. His favourite sport to watch however, had always been volleyball.
“May I have one ticket for today's volleyball match please.” He asked the woman at the ticket office. She was young, likely around his age, and she was chewing gum rather obnoxiously.
“Sure. Where do you wanna sit?” She mumbled.
“Section 111, please.”
She pressed a couple buttons on her computer and reached out to him with a palm faced up. “That's 25000 won.”
Yunho reached into his trousers, grabbed his wallet and pulled out three ten thousand won bills. “It's gone up since the last time I was here.” He tried to joke.
“They all say that.” She did a come hither motion with her hand, clearly unimpressed.
He placed the notes in her palm and watched as she tucked it into the till and picked out his change. She pressed another button on her computer and together they watched as the ticket was printed. She handed both to him and didn’t say another word.
He bowed his head in appreciation anyway. “Thank you.” He glanced down to check the seat number and swiftly began to move towards its direction.
He walked the familiar corridors through the building and up the stairs, tuning out the echoes of excited chatter. It was all the same. The same grey walls, the same orange signs, the same flickering fluorescent lights. Even the court was the same, hardwood and sprung, a pretty brown that reflected the high ceiling lights making it look as if it was covered by a thin layer of water.
His seat was towards the back of section 111 but that didn’t bother him, no matter how far he was from the court this view was always perfect. He sat and gazed around the room, taking it all in; the atmosphere, the buzz, and it was only then that the colours of the crowd grabbed his attention. Vibrant greens and yellows filled the stands, their presence suddenly louder than the voices surrounding him. He tried to read the letters on the front of the jerseys that people wore from across the room but he was unable to distinguish the shapes. He didnt need to see them to know, he already knew who was playing, the colours of his childhood being hard to forget.
The men in front of him were dressed in the unmistakable vibrant yellow of the Ginkgo Geckos, and there was a group of girls nearest to the court that were covered head to toe in striking lime green, which could only represent one team. The Lindbergh Livyatans.
The realisation of what teams were playing made his breath hitch in his throat and made his head spin. He slumped back in his seat, staring mindlessly at the net at the centre of the room, disbelief plaguing every inch of his brain. He should have known, connected the obvious dots and realised the implications of a volleyball game taking place at MSG.
Maybe he was wrong, Yunho considered, and then realised how ridiculous the thought was. Yunho leant forward and rested his arms on his knees and glared at the bright jersey in front of him. He tapped one of the men on the shoulder. “Hi, sorry, could you tell me what teams are playing today? I am new to the area.” He smiled in an attempt to cover his lie.
“It's the Geckos and Livyatans! The Livyatans are the local D2 team here, and the Geckos are one of the D2 teams near Seoul. Both teams have had a rivalry for years so there is always a big turn out when they play each other.” He explained enthusiastically before turning back to his friend.
“Oh, I see. Thank you.” Yunho said quietly. He pondered for a moment before he reached out and spoke again. “You don’t happen to know what team Song Min-”
He never got to finish his question, interrupted by the roaring cheer of the crowd, forcing them all to look towards the centre court. A group of men began to disperse, taking a lap around the court and waving at the audience as they went. The man he spoke to twisted slightly and shouted over the cheers. “Those are the Gingko Geckos.”
Yunho scanned each body that passed despite knowing he wouldn’t find who he was looking for among them. Would he recognise the boy from all those years ago, tall and scrawny and scruffy and shrill, yet somehow still shy in the way he spoke. How different would Mingi look now, no longer a fifteen year old high school student but instead a twenty five year old professional athlete? Yunho couldn’t picture the boy any differently, stuck in the past, foggy images of a tearful goodbye being the last encounter he had of him.
The Geckos ended their lap and began their warm up routine. Knowing what was coming next, Yunho unconsciously held his breath as he waited for the home team to enter the court. A lull fell over the audience as anticipation grew, tension thickening, and then the first player walked out.
The Lindbergh Livyatians were one of the most successful D2 teams in South Korea, having finished within the top five almost every season since they were founded, even reclassifying to D1 for three years in a row. They wore a lime green kit with a singular light blue stripe across the chest and white lettering layered on top of it. Their asics trainers were as bright as their kits and their knee pads were always white. No matter where they went, the Livyatians always stood out. It was the team Yunho had supported throughout his childhood, one he had once dreamed of joining, a dream he had to let go of when he moved halfway across the world and a nine hour time zone away from the person he had dreamed of joining it with. It seems Mingi never let go of that dream.
Captain armband wrapped tightly around his forearm, jersey straining slightly against his chest, knee pads squeezing the muscles at the base of his thighs, gone was the boy whose shirt slipped past his shoulders and whose shorts hung lower than most. No, this was a man. A man whose confidence held weight, the weight of hard earned success and blazing pride.
It was unmistakably Mingi, even with visual changes in his appearance and physique, that man leading his team around the court like a lion leading his herd, was the same person who grew up down the road from Yunho. His gaze had sharpened and his smile had grown cocky, but the glint in his eyes as he stared at his opponents through the gaps in the net was the same as it was ten years ago.
Yunho let out a deep sigh and relaxed into his seat. He watched as the captain of the Lindberg Livyatans talked his team through the warm up and tactical strategies, watched as he shook hands with the rival captain and watched as he took his place on the right side of the court. With slightly laboured breath, he watched the Geckos serve, the Livyatan libero receive, and with an air of finality watched as Mingi moved into position and performed a perfect set to his outside hitter.
The first point was theirs. The crowd roared around the players, screaming the hitters name, and yet Yunho heard nothing but the thumping of his heart.
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The weather had taken a drop in the week Yunho had been there. A constant breeze ruffled his hair no matter where he went and a light jacket was always necessary. He helped around the house, tidying behind himself and cleaning as often as he could so his grandparents wouldn’t have to do much. His grandfather was eating more with his assistance and his physiotherapy appointment earlier in the week had gone well.
He hadn’t been to another volleyball match. He wasn’t sure he wanted to. His grandmother insisted he went back and tried to find a way to reach out to his old friend but Yunho insisted he would do it some other day.
It had been surprising to see Mingi at the match despite knowing that he was going to be there. The shock came not from seeing an old friend for the first time in years, but instead from the differences that came from being years apart from him. Mingi was fifteen when he last saw him; limbs too big for his body, inches shorter than Yunho and incredibly reserved. He was lanky and unbalanced and tripped over his own feet more times than either of them could be bothered to count. He didn’t call out for the ball, didn’t call the shots, was never a leader or strategist. He took every complaint at face value and often found himself wanting to quit. He never did. At twenty five Mingi appeared to be a completely different man, foreign and unfamiliar in a town that never changes.
His grandmother had him tending to the garden, deadheading her roses and cutting back the bushes, preparing the foliage for winter. He was deep into a bush, practically one with nature, wondering what he had done wrong in his life for it to reward him with thorns piercing his arms and leaves sticking to his hair.
“Yunho darling, can you answer the door for me?” His grandmother called from within the house. He make a strange sound, untangled himself from the branches and placed the sheers on the garden table. He slipped off his shoes and gloves, stepped into the house and slid across the floor as he moved to find his slippers.
“Are we expecting someone?” He asked as he shuffled into them.
“I don’t think so.” She replied, poking her head out of the kitchen.
Yunho hummed in her direction and reached for the door. “Hello, how can I help y-” he started to say before the words got caught at the base of his throat.
Dressed in casual grey sweats, a black fitted t-shirt and a distressed denim jacket, hair a mess on the top of his head and falling past his eyes, was Mingi. He looked unkempt, relaxed, soft, a complete contrast to how he looked on the court. Yunho stood there gaping at the man, he knew he was, and yet he found himself unable to stop, the shock of seeing Mingi being much too strong to hold back his emotions. He was so different from the boy he left behind. Brows furrowed in confusion, Yunho could see the cogs in his head turn as he slowly pieced together who it was that opened the door. His eyes widened, and the moment everything clicked into place was obvious. He blinked once, twice and sucked in a breath. Then as if the name had been forced out of his chest, he quietly gasped “Yunho”.
They didn’t get the chance to speak to each other. “Why are you just standing there? Who is it? Mingi! I didn’t know you were coming today.” His grandmother appeared from behind him.
The sight of her seemed to shake Mingi out of the trance he had fallen into. He bowed and held up a green plastic bag with a sheepish smile. “Sorry to disturb you grandma, I was at the market and noticed the cabbages and potatoes were on offer so I picked some up for you.”
“Oh you didn’t have to.” She said, taking the bag from his hands and pulling him into a gentle hug. “Thank you.”
“I am always happy to help where I can.” His eyes flickered to Yunho who was still standing motionless by the door. “I will get going now, I don’t want to disturb you and I have to get to work anyway.”
“You could never disturb me darling, you are always welcome here.” His grandmother said with a pat to his arm.
Mingi smiled at her, said goodbye, spared Yunho one more glance, and then he was gone. Yunho stared at his retreating back and watched as it turned a corner, disappearing from sight. He wondered then if Mingi had ever been there at all. His grandmother had already gone back to the kitchen, leaving Yunho alone at the front of the house.
It wasn’t long before Yunho saw Mingi again. That same evening he was visiting a local 7-eleven, craving cheap ramyeon his grandmother didn’t stock, scanning the aisles for his favourite brand. He was crouched down reading a label on the bottom shelf when the voice came from behind him.
“They don’t stock it here anymore. You have to drive out of town to get it.”
Yunho startled, snapping his head to the right. Mingi was in the exact same outfit. His hands were tucked in his pockets and he was rocking gently on the balls of his feet. Yunho stood up, facing him directly. “How long ago did they stop stocking it here?”
Mingi shrugged. “Not sure. It was still here before I left but was gone once I had come back.”
“Where did you go?” He asked awkwardly, uncertain on if he was allowed to ask.
“Seoul.”
“Why did you come back?”
Mingi looked away, a small smile on his face. “D1 wasn’t right for me.”
Despite the years apart, the pride Yunho felt in that moment was larger than any other emotion he had experienced in his life. He smiled and Mingi mirrored it, his smile stretching across his face, eyes crinkling at the edges due to the force of it. “You did it.”
“I did.” Mingi beamed.
Any awkwardness Yunho felt vanished in an instant. “I need to hear everything! When did you decide to go pro? How did it happen? Why did you leave D1? Playing for the Livyatans? Mingi you are literally living our dream!” Yunho rambled, the dam breaking and his words finally flying out. “There is so much I want to know, I don’t even know where to start.”
“Neither do I.” Mingi chuckled. “I was so surprised to see you earlier I thought I was hallucinating. When did you get back?
Yunho started walking out the store, his ramyeon craving long forgotten. “I only got back around ten days ago.”
Mingi was right by his side, falling into step with him as if this was not the first time they were speaking to each other after a decade apart. “I guess I haven’t seen your grandmother in that time so she wouldn’t have been able to tell me.”
“How long have you been playing for the Livyatans? Actually, when the hell did you go pro?”
“I was scouted.” Mingi gloated. “Our high school went to Nationals in our third year and I was scouted there. I joined the Parrots, stayed on for three years and then moved back here when I was twenty one. I’ve been with the Livyatans ever since.”
“You were scouted by the Parrots?! They are D1 legends Mingi!” Yunho stared at the man in disbelief.
“I know.” Mingi laughed at Yunho, amused by the reactions he was getting.
“I can’t believe you’ve been doing all this and I had no idea. Grandma never told me anything.” Yunho pouted.
“What about you? Grandma has mentioned a thing or two but I doubt she even touched the surface on ten years of Yunho related history.” Mingi asked. The sound of his name on Mingi’s tongue felt right. The rasp behind the syllables did not. It was only then that Yunho noticed the difference in the man's timbre.
“Um, honestly not much. At least not in comparison to you.”
Mingi rolled his eyes. “Nonsense, I know you’ve got books, Grandma is always talking about how proud she is of her author grandson.” Yunho heated up and hoped the redness on his face wouldn’t be noticeable. “Still shy when it comes to compliments I see?” Mingi teased, mirth swimming in his eyes.
“When did you get all this confidence?” Yunho fired back. “Last time I checked you couldn’t even make eye contact and now you’re poking fun at me!”
“Time changes people. Eye contact was never an issue with you anyway, and I guess ten years without seeing you hasn’t changed that.” Mingi said easily, acting as if it didn’t make Yunho’s heart stutter unwillingly in his chest. Yunho chose to ignore it. He let silence fall between them, schooling his emotions into something less flustered.
“I write children's books.” He said quietly, eyes lowered towards the floor.
“You always had the most fascinating stories to tell.” Mingi responded just as quietly.
“I guess so. I write for younger kids at the moment, just under middle grade. I only have one published book.” Yunho kicked at a stray stone on the pavement, ashamed of his lack of success when compared to the man standing beside him.
He heard Mingi shuffle closer and felt him poke him in the arm. “Look at me.” Refusing Mingi was always something Yunho struggled to do. “Being a published author at twenty five is a massive feat, Yunho. It's incredible, I always knew you could do it.”
“I don’t remember telling you I wanted to be an author?” Yunho questioned, thinking back to the past to see if he could remember a moment where he shared his interest in writing.
“Even volleyball obsessed idiots can have other interests. I saw all your notebooks, watched you write in them everyday at lunch. I knew that someday your stories would be published. I could see it, front page in the new paper: volleyball player outside hitter Jeong Yunho has published his first novel.” Mingi made a wide gesture above his head, and wiggled his fingers as he went.
Yunho felt his stomach drop. He forced a smile. “Thank you. Though most wouldn’t consider a ten thousand word book a novel.”
“Well I do.” Mingi's eyes bore into his, honesty sparkling within his dark irises.
They walked in silence the rest of the way. Their bench was in the same place, slightly withered and rotting, but still the same. In silence they sat and watched the world move past them, their silence not quite awkward but not quite comfortable either. Yunho fiddled with his fingers, pinching the sides of his nail beds. “You talk more.”
Mingi hummed. “You talk less.”
“Do I?”
He hummed again. “You hide. You’re not an open book anymore.”
Yunho let the words sink in, digging their teeth into his chest. He wondered how Mingi had picked up on that during such a short encounter. “I guess time has changed me too.”
He could feel Mingi's eyes on him. Yunho fought the urge to look back, focusing on the trees swaying in front of him. “I am having drinks with some of my teammates on Friday. You should come.”
“I don’t want to impose. I don’t know your friends.” Yunho said.
“Get to know them.” Mingi stood and turned to face Yunho directly. He was glowing under the street light, a gentle yellow painting his features. “I want you there. Find me on insta, I will send you the details. The Yunho I knew would never say no to making new friends.”
Yunho nodded and watched Mingi walk away from him for the second time that day.
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February 2011
Age 12
It was raining the first time I saw Mingi. I was six. It was early in the morning and raining heavily. A strong damp smell was seeping through the draught in my bedroom window. I don’t know why I remember that. I was playing on my game boy when I heard a yell from outside.
I looked outside and saw a small boy sitting on the pavement. He was wet. Even from the window I could see his clothes were sticking to him uncomfortably. I remember feeling sorry for him. Alone and sitting in the rain. It was like a dark cloud was hovering over him, an obvious air of melancholy swirling around him. (I recently learned that word, it feels very fitting for Mingi.) I didn’t like it so I went out to talk to him. Thinking back I should have taken an umbrella, it might have saved me from the worst cold of my life.
I asked him why he was sitting there and he told me he fell over. I asked him why he didn’t get up and go home. I will never forget his reply. “I like sitting in the rain. It feels less lonely.”
I remember feeling sad and confused that someone could find the rain friendly when it made me feel so uncomfortable and cold. I understand it better now. The comfort that comes with the pitter patter of rain on the tarmac. The weight of the rain hitting your shoulders. The bitter cold against your skin.
Soaked to the bone and shivering, I stayed with him. I asked him if he had gotten hurt when he fell and he pointed to his arm. There was a long scratch along it, blood blending with clear rain. I spoke some more but he didn't reply. He just stared ahead of him. I know now that he prefers silence. Back then I thought he found me annoying but I wanted to help make him feel less lonely so I didn’t move. I just talked a little less.
My mum found us. I don’t know how long we sat outside. I thought she would be angry and shout at me but she didn’t. She took us both inside and gave us dry clean clothes and hot rice and soup. She got Mingi to share his name and discovered he lived a few houses away from us. Before he left I promised him that I would come play with him tomorrow and since then I have seen him almost every day. He smiled at me when I told him I would be his friend. It felt like I had won. I didn’t understand that feeling at the time. I get it now.
Now I am twelve and we are starting middle school together. Mingi still loves the rain. Mingi still lives a few houses away. Mingi still feels lonely sometimes. He still doesn't talk much. I still talk way too much and still try to help him feel less lonely. His smile is still the best prize I have ever received.
Mingi is my best friend and I want to make him experience as much happiness as possible. I don’t like seeing him sad.
I hope we both make many friends this year! We are joining the volleyball team and I can’t wait to have him as my setter again, especially in official matches and tournaments. I am so excited to make many new memories with Mingi this year.