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Chapter Text

“Get your things and leave my house.”

“You can’t just kick me out of my house!” The man replies just as angrily “We can talk about it!”

“No, we can’t. Leave and never show your face again.”

“Please, baby.” The man mutters softly as he tries to give him genuine eyes, Sirius thinks the other is about three seconds away from getting on his knees and begging for mercy.

Sirius simply scoffs in disbelief at the man standing in front of him, at the person he spent the last few years living with. His boyfriend is still talking and scrambling words to get Sirius’ attention but he is too set on his decision and he doesn’t even want to listen to him. 
The man is struggling to find a shirt to put on so he just walks around half naked, Sirius almost laughs at the view that he once found appealing, now only annoying.

“This is my house that I payed with my money,” Sirius bites back, his head starts to hurt with all that is happening “And I want you out of here, possibly right now.”
The other pleads and begs as Sirius walks to the bedroom where he finds his boyfriend’s new lover. The girl looks ashamed and she is trying to dress as fast as humanly possible, she shares a look of pure shame with him and he takes a moment to breathe in and out before speaking.

“I’d like you to also leave, I don’t know you very well apart for the few times we talked at dinner parties. I hope you and your colleague can find love without hurting anyone else.” He smiles sarcastically at her; she is not the one he is angry at, even though he doesn’t exactly feel happy about her behavior, his real problem is his boyfriend now pathetically crying behind him.

“Enough!” He exclaims loudly, startling everyone in the small room “You did this to yourself, now get the fuck out or I’ll drag you myself. Don’t fucking play with me.” He looks at him with nothing but disgust and he starts to grab everything that the man owns and throws it in a bin bag. The black bag is stuffed with clothes Sirius bought him, with the shirt he wore for their third anniversary, he kisses his teeth when he grabs their framed picture on the nightstand and shoves it as far as he can in the bag.

“Please, try to be rational baby. We were having problems and you know it.” 
Sirius turns around so fast and opens his mouth to loudly yell at him, the venomous words are starting to form in his head and he doesn’t have the patience to hold them in anymore.
He watches as the girl scurries away as soon as she sees the look in his eyes, he doesn’t blame her for running away before shit starts to get too real. She is not the one he cares for, anyway.

“And you though that the problems were going to be solved by fucking your coworker? Exactly what part of you two in my bed together could make our relationship better?” He takes a step closer to him, his anger is too fast for him to control so he just lets it loose. The man shakes his head as Sirius speaks, it’s almost as if he didn’t expect his action to have this sort of consequence.
Sirius never liked cheaters and he wanted to stay away from them, apparently this desire of his couldn’t be satisfied.

“I love you and I though I could trust you after all that we’ve been through, you know so much about me and you know how hard that was for me to reveal! You’re just as disgusting as everyone else who treated me like shit, I supported you for so many years and this is what I get? As soon as you see that our relationship is not as dreamy as it was when we were eighteen, you betray me like that?” He screams in his face as he feels his throat closing up and his eyes watering “Fuck you. Fuck you! I never want to see you again.”

The man cries and tries to catch Sirius’ hand to hold it close to him but Sirius is already at the front door where he throws the bag outside, not even caring about putting it down gently. His heart aches as he watches the man’s things on his doormat, all of the memories resurface and he fights back an ugly sob.

“Why am I the only one who’s getting blamed here?” He hears him and he closes his eyes in annoyance before turning to face him, the feeling of sadness gets quickly washed over by anger.  The man continues “Should we mention the fact that you have spent the last months working so hard that you didn’t even bother caring for me! Or should I remind you the fact that ever since I started my new job you never bothered once to ask me how I was doing?”

Sirius drops his hands to his side and he laughs incredulously, he quickly rubs his hands on his face before answering the other “You know how much my job means to me and you know how hard I worked to get where I am today.” He says dangerously slowly, every single word sharp as a dagger.

“You take pictures Sirius, I deal with engineers all fucking day. I see numbers when I sleep while you take pictures of a nice flower and get praised for it.” 

Sirius has to physically fight the urge to punch him in the face, his hands shake from wanting to collide with his cheek. He heard this exact sentence so many times before today, he heard it from people that thought their work was more ‘difficult’. Even though he is used to it, he can’t stop himself from getting even more mad, his vision becomes blurry with all of the emotions in his head.

“Fuck you, who the fuck do you think you are?” Sirius says “My job is what I always wanted and you know it, you never bothered to actually ask me what it is that I do while being a photographer, or any of my current projects.” He takes a moment to breathe and then continues just as angrily “I never asked about your job because you know I always hated it. You fucking work with my parents and, just to make things worse, you actually like them!” 

The man shrugs as if what Sirius said is completely normal “I do like your parents, Sirius. They’re excellent at their job and they are making me incredibly good at mine, so I am sorry that I didn’t take in consideration your petty motives before accepting the job.” He says the last sentence in a mocking tone, making fun of Sirius.

“Get out,” Sirius says after hearing that and when he sees the man staying still he yells “Get the fuck out of my house! Go back to your own house and live the rest of your life with awful pieces of shit that, you know damn well, treated me horribly as a child. Apparently you care more about money than me.” 

“They told me it wasn’t like the stories you told me.” The man says annoyed and Sirius nods while biting his lower lip.

“I’m sorry I was under the impression that the man I loved believed me over my abusive and awful parents, I was wrong.” He smiles at him bitterly and he can’t stop the flow of tears that started to pour a couple of minutes ago. 
The man angrily grabs his shoes and puts them on as they both stay silent, their words lingering in the room. The only sound loud enough to notice is the way Sirius sniffles, he can feel his own heart breaking with each passing moment and he tries to act tough but the reality is that he wishes he could just skip this day and jump into the next one without remembering anything. 

“Goodbye, Sirius.” The man says as he opens the door and before leaving he adds “I hope you can see where I am coming from, baby.” 

“I’m not your fucking baby,” He says as the door closes and before walking toward the bathroom where he wants to take a long hot shower to wash away the awful evening, he mutters “Asshole.”

The house is empty for the first time in years, they never officially lived together but Sirius never minded him staying over for weeks at a time even though he had his own house just a couple of streets away. They shared the bed and Sirius liked the domestic side of their relationship, lately they weren’t doing good and he knew it but he never would have imagined that the man he loved was cheating on him. They got together the first year of college and have been together since then, now he is twenty three and he has to say goodbye to his six year long relationship. He has to accept the fact that the man he thought he was going to marry is not actually as wonderful as he once was. 

He scoffs as his mind tries to replay their last conversation when his boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend  now, admitted that his parents are not as bad as Sirius make them out to be. He thinks that part hurts more than seeing him with another person, the cheating part is awful and he doesn’t want to ever think about what he saw again, but hearing the man that helped him through some of his toughest days telling him that he has ‘petty motives’ makes him so incredibly upset. His parents won, once again they took away what was precious for him and they got away with it without having to face any real consequences. Sirius wishes he could go back in time and stop him from accepting the job, he wants to tell him to listen to him when he explains why he should reject it but all of that is in the past now, along with his possible future with him.

The bed stares at him, the tangled sheets mock him with the reminder of what happened. Not only he is sad while looking at the white sheets but he is also deeply disgusted by them, to think that his bed was used by those two makes him gag and he decides he has to get rid of it.
Sirius doesn’t really think about his actions when he his feelings are so powerful, like they are right now, he relies on his instincts and on what he thinks is right for the given moment so he finds himself walking toward the corner store by his house ten minutes later.

The woman inside knows him too well by now and when she sees him walking inside with red eyes and a frown she immediately worries. The fact that his face is mainly hidden under his hoodie doesn’t help his situation, his hair is tied in a bun and it’s not visible meanwhile his face is puffy from all of the crying. When he catches a reflection of himself on the glass behind the counter he grimaces at the sight, he looks like he hasn’t slept for days and he is definitely not looking his best.

“Dear, are you alright?” She says with a gentle tone and usually he would smile and reassure her but tonight his mind is too busy with his own complicated emotions to worry about anyone else. He likes to engage in conversation with her, she has such a caring personality and he has grown to love her for it. There has not been a day where she didn’t invite him over for dinner, he tries to go once a month but lately he has been so busy he had to postpone it every time.

“Fantastic, how are you doing? Did Carl manage to get that car?” He asks her because even though he feels like shit on the inside he still likes the woman and she has only been nice to him. Her husband thinks Sirius is a mechanic and he stops him every time he comes in the shop to let him take a look at his car, Sirius does it but even though he is not that good with tool, he stops by and for Carl that is more than enough.

“He did! He told me to tell you that he got you a sticker for your bike, let me just go and find it…” She says as she turns around to look for the small adhesive, Sirius would love to see it but he is in a hurry and he doesn’t want to wait in here.

“He can give it to me another time,” He says “Just stopped by to buy a lighter.” He tells her placing the object on the counter, the woman looks at it and smiles at him shaking her head.

“Oh no,” She speaks softly once again while he looks confused “I thought you quit smoking.” And he kind of did, as in he smokes way less than he used to but she is definitely misreading the situation.

“I did, Lauren,” he tells her “I just need the lighter.” 

“Honey, you made me promise not to sell you anything related to cigarettes,” She tells him and then taking the lighter in her hands shaking it “Lighters included.” He groans and throws his head back because why did he have to do that? His old self sabotaged this exact moment and he doesn’t even blame him, telling her to stop selling him cigarettes have really helped him in his journey.

“That I did, yes.” He says bitterly smiling at her “I just need the lighter, not to smoke.” 
The woman keeps her promise and doesn’t sell him the needed objects and he leaves the shop upset at himself and also a tiny bit at the woman. Deep down he loves her but damn her for being so loyal to her promise.

“Sorry, kid,” Lauren pats him softly on the back “I’m doing this for you.” He thanks her and leaves the shop.
He stands outside and looks at the passing cars, in his hands there are the sheets and he looks at them not really knowing what to do now. He laughs quietly as he looks at himself, Lauren must have thought that he was doing some weird project that involves white sheets. Or maybe she thought that he has officially lost his mind, it’s too late now to reassure her anyway.

“Here,” A stranger from his left says “You can have mine.” 
Sirius looks at the extended hand with the lighter and tilts his head in confusion as to why this person is doing him a favor out of the blue.

“I heard you inside,” The person explains, probably noticing the look on his face “Take mine, you look like you need it more than me.”
Sirius tries to look at the person in the face but doesn’t really see much, the person is wearing a beanie and the hood from his jumper is covering the upper half of the face. It’s definitely a sketchy situation and he would usually just walk the other way and ignore whatever this is, but tonight nothing feels right so he decides to take the object.

“I’m not going to smoke.” Sirius says even though he doesn't own an explanation to anyone. The person shrugs simply while smoking, the smoke mix with the cold air.

“Okay.” 

“You just gave me your lighter without knowing what I am going to do with it.” Sirius says and he doesn’t know why he is engaging with this stranger “I could be a criminal.”

“Are you?” 


“No, but that is not the point.”

“Do you not want my lighter? I can take it back.” At that Sirius clutches the lighter in his hand and he finally takes a look at it. It’s a pretty one, it’s dark blue with a couple of drawings on it, all referring to the stars.

“Just go,” The stranger says and then Sirius feels eyes on the sheets he is holding “You clearly have something to do.” The person points at the white sheets and Sirius internally panics for a brief moment even though he didn't do anything yet.

“It’s not as absurd as it looks.” Sirius says trying to justify himself while the other doesn't even bother looking at him in the face.

“I know,” The stranger says “Have fun or don’t, stranger.” The person says and puts out the cigarette, walks away with a slow pace and disappears behind a corner.

Sirius stops and thinks about the weird interaction but then decides he still needs to finish his initial plan so he starts walking in the opposite direction of the stranger.

He finds himself in front of a metallic garbage bin with the sheets in one hand and the lighter in the other he doesn’t stop to think if what he is doing is right.

It’s late at night and he opted for a secluded part to set fire to his sheets, away from people who might get scared, the only living people are in the building a street away and he doesn’t really think he is that scary for them to be alerted.
He puts the sheets in the bin and pour the gasoline over it, he bought it at the nearby gas station,  his eyes are bit glassy but his hands show no sign of wanting to stop, the awful smell of the liquid fills his nostril and he fights back the urge to walk away. 
He smiles as he lets the borrowed lighter touch a piece of fabric, the flame gets bigger and he throws it in the bin. He puts the lighter in his pocket without thinking much.

The heat radiates as the white sheets turns into a mess, he stands there hypnotized by the flames and he can’t stop going back to all of their happy moments together. All of the times they went away for the weekend, or when they cooked dinner together or when they binged their favorite series as soon as the new season came out. All of them are turning to ashes along with the sheets and he would be lying if he says he doesn’t feel satisfied with what he did.

Time passes and by the time there is nothing left in the bin he hears a siren, a police siren to which he rolls his eyes immediately.
He turns to the nearest building where he can see a lady watching from the window, the woman tries to hide behind the curtain but Sirius has noticed her long before he decided to talk to her.

“You could have easily minded your business!” He yells angrily directing all of his feelings to the poor woman “I am going through something, lady!” 

The cop car stops and he sighs as he sees the man stepping out of it, the man has his mouth wide open in disbelief and his eyes are one second away from popping out of his skull.
“Listen, I am—“


“Sirius, what the fuck?” He asks shocked by what he is seeing and Sirius simply shrugs as he points to the bin, now simply burned off “I get a call saying they have a suspect for the case I have been working on so I run here, leaving the precinct as fast as possible, I get here and it’s just you?” The man asks before adding “Did you want to have a fire? Because if yes you could easily buy a fireplace.”


“James, before you get any more upset,” He says at his friend “I was doing absolutely fine before someone—” He stops briefly to direct his gaze toward the lady at the window “—Talking about you, by the way!” And after turning back to James “Decided I was a criminal.” 


James turns around to look at what he is referring and immediately puts his hands up to face at the lady. While she looks so content with her action that it makes Sirius want to shake some sense in her. Realistically he would never even talk to the lady but tonight he feels he like he could fight, verbally or physically, anyone. 

“Sirius, you can’t go around setting things on fire! People are going to feel threaten and they are going to call the cops and then send me since I have been tracking down an arsonist for weeks!” 

“Yeah,” Sirius drags the word as he tries to buy himself some time, actually sorry to have caused trouble to his friend “Sorry, James. I just wanted to do something different for the night.” He says sarcastically even though he is genuinely sorry for bothering his friend at work, again, that could have been prevented if the woman minded her own business. 

“It’s alright,” He whispers to him and then also turns to the window before yelling “I will take you down to the precinct and I’ll have a long talk with you, man! You’ll learn your lesson!” To which the lady replies by shooting him two thumbs up. Sirius opens his mouth to yell at her but James slaps his palm on it, preventing him to mutter a word that could lead him to even more problems. He licks it just to see the grimace on the other’s face, for the first time tonight he smiles as James whispers words of annoyance.

“Get in the car before she demands I arrest you on the spot.” He adds as he walks to the driver’s side, Sirius gives one last look to the burned bin and kisses his teeth as he turns to walk over to the car. He never really liked those sheets anyway.

Sirius explains that he didn’t drive to the place where James picked him up to which the detective replies by telling him he could have gotten killed this late at night. Sirius knows he is right, especially knowing he sees criminals every day, but as it has been said, he is not one that stops to think when his feelings are too overwhelming. He just took the sheets and walked for some time, not really knowing where to go, he stopped once he saw the metallic bin. 

“What were you doing anyway?” James asks after a while “Is this for a new project?”

“No,” Sirius replies “Also, quick question. Can we go back to you hunting down an arsonist? Tell me more, James.” He says enthusiastically as he turns off the radio so that his friend’s voice is clear enough for him to hear. 

“You’re making it sound like I am on a hunt as if we were in the middle ages.”



“You did say you are hunting him down, are you also walking around with a wanted poster in your pocket?” Sirius jokes and his friends laughs tapping his hand on the wheel.

“You’re evading my question,” James says raising a finger at him in a childish manner to which Sirius replies by pulling it. James waits as Sirius looks around, he is totally avoiding James’ question but his friend doesn’t have to know, after a moment of silence he turns the radio back on internally groaning when he hears a love song playing. 

James turns it off again and for a while they go back and forth between turning it on and off until the radio decides to stop working completely, they stare at him for a brief moment before bursting out laughing. They always find a way to cause trouble somehow. 

“The captain will be mad about that. Radios are usually supposed to work.”


“Just tell her I did it. You know that she has a soft spot for me somehow.” Sirius tells him and James nods in agreement. He never worked in the precinct, he never even stayed there for a whole day to watch them as they worked but the captain is still so nice to him. James says it’s because he is just too lovable for anyone to hate him, Sirius thinks that it’s because he took some nice pictures of the squad to hang up on the walls. 

Sirius raises his hands and surrenders when he sees James getting ready to ask him again the previous question 
“I was burning sheets.” 

“Yeah, I gathered that.” 

“It would have been a problem if you didn’t, detective.” Sirius elbows him lightly and James fights a smile and after being shoved a couple of times he puts his hand on Sirius’ face and push him away from him. He laughs as the detective drives and he knows he will eventually tell him but he doesn’t exactly know what to say.

“Pads,” James says using his childhood nickname, they only use it once in a while and right now Sirius feels like his friend is using it to encourage him to spill his guts to him “Is everything okay? Is this about your parents?” 
Sirius sighs and he looks at his friend, the one that has been next to him ever since they were babies. James knows him better than he knows himself and he can’t lie to him since that would only mean lying to himself as well, also he is a detective so he will figured it out either way.

“No, they didn’t do anything in particular.” He begins with a serious tone, the shift in his voice makes James grip the steering wheel but he stays quiet as he waits for the other to speak “My boyfriend cheated on me, I broke up with him and the sheets were the one I found him in while he was having sex with his coworker.” He says quickly, everything is still so fresh for him to be talking about it casually so he wants to get the words out of his mouths before he can fully acknowledge them.

James stays silent for quite a bit, the detective doesn’t say anything but he hums as if he is having a conversation with himself inside of his head.
“That son of a bitch!” He erupts suddenly and Sirius puts his hand on his heart, startled by him “Oh, I hate him more than ever, how could he?” James says more shocked than Sirius anticipated he would be. 

He raises his hands as if to signal that he doesn’t have an answer to his question even though he wishes he did, James murmurs some more and then adds softly “Sirius, I am so sorry. I hate that you have to go though something like this, tell me what I can do to make you feel better, anything.” 

“You could arrest him.” Sirius deadpans already smiling as he sees the detective scrunching his nose in regret of the choice of his words. The curly man driving smiles before quickly adding to his previous statement a small rule.

“Anything legal, possibly. Although I am sure he is somehow involved in a crime—“


“—Yeah crime of being a soul sucking leech.” Sirius adds as his anger bubbles up once again.

“Nice, Pads. But no sorry I can’t arrest him unless he commits a crime,” James tells him, he almost sounds sorry to bear the news “Why don’t you come to the precinct with me? I just have to finish a couple of paperwork and then we can go home, you could crash at my place.”

“Are you suggesting we have a sleepover?” Sirius asks laughing.

“Absolutely, we can even wear matching shirts. Oh! Scratch that, I’ll wake up in the morning and bring you breakfast in bed, how about that?” James asks him happily and Sirius accepts the offer gratefully. He thinks that James would cut off his own arm if it meant helping a friend out.

Sirius chuckles and nods silently before saying “Does this mean I have to watch you blatantly flirt with my brother? James, I have the ‘just got cheated on’ pass so you might have to lay off of him for tonight.” He jokes and his friend opens his mouth to say something but quickly closes it after thinking for a moment. James and Sirius’ brother have this weird dynamic where they flirt and tease each other, Regulus does it by being mean to him and oddly enough James likes it, but they won’t admit they like each other so everyone else has to watch this show they put on as they wait for them to get together.

“First of all, I don’t think you can use that pass—“



“— I definitely can and will.”


“—Second of all, I don’t flirt with him since he is my coworker, we joke with each other.” James adds confidently, and before shutting up he says something so quickly that Sirius almost doesn’t understand him “But if he says we are flirting then tell him we are because I wouldn’t hate it if we were.” 

“Gross. James just ask him out and get this over with I can’t possibly spend another minute seeing you two like this, well, technically tonight I won’t.” 

After debating for a while James raises his hands as he surrenders “Fine, no flirting with him since you so kindly asked.” 
They get off the car and walk to the tall building where the precinct is located, the two chat about nothing in particular as they wait for the elevator and as soon as they step foot inside the room Sirius sees a blonde woman walking toward him at a rapid pace.

“Hey Marlene—“ he tries to say before he is dragged away by her, she drags him into the break room where he finds his brother and his other friend sitting on the couch. The blonde makes him sit down and then asks bluntly.

“Sirius, if I have to explain to one more person that you are not the arsonist, I will put you behind bars myself.” She exclaims and just as Sirius is about to reply, James enters the room with a soft smile on his face.

“Marlene, I am sorry?” He tries but the woman kicks the chair he is sitting in, making him move a bit further back.

“I though we had a lead, man,” She tells him frustrated “And turns out it’s just your ass setting things on fire.” 

“Well you owed me one and now we are even.” He jokes and luckily Marlene laughs with him but she repeats once again that if he wants to do stuff like that, he needs to do them in his house so that they don’t get called.

“Maybe not,” The redhead in the room joins the conversation “You know all of the fumes would fuck you up pretty bad.”

“Thank you Lily for being the voice of reason,” James says patting her on the shoulder and then “Sirius will stay here until I go home.” He says before anyone can ask any question and Sirius smiles at him in gratification. His best friend is always there for him, even when he doesn’t ask.

He sees the confused look on their faces, Lily looks puzzled, Marlene looks intrigued by this new revelation while Regulus looks bored but from the way his eyebrows are furrowed Sirius knows he is also confused.
The one to ask the lingering question is Marlene, she is usually the one that doesn’t waste time and dives straight into the problem. The blonde sits down next to him and after examining his face she opens her mouth.

“So what about your boy—“
Sirius cuts  her off before she can finishes her sentence.

“We broke up,” he says finally dropping the news and after seeing their faces he adds “Just a couple of hours ago actually, so… yeah, relationships am I right?” He tries to joke but no one laughs with him, apparently too busy to appreciate a good timed joke. Lily walks up to him and hands him a cup of tea and she whispers in his ear “Just tell me when you want to have your revenge.”

She winks as she exits the room swiftly, Sirius smiles as he remembers her way of handling break-ups. She usually cries for a bit and then she starts to think about a plan to get back at who hurt her, it’s never something too drastic or violent. Just something that she knows damn well will annoy that person and make them mad for a while. Lily once helped Marlene get over her ex by driving past her house at five in the morning blasting awful music. 

Marlene walks to the door and as she runs her hand trough her hair “Forget about him Sirius, he was never as good as you anyway.” And with that she leaves, the sound of her steps getting further away fills the silence in the room.
His brother is currently staring at him and he can’t do anything but stare back, Regulus Black is knows to never really show his emotions but unfortunately for him Sirius can read him well enough without him having to open his mouth.

His brother is worried and he can tell it by the way his left hand is slightly flexing, by the way his eyes are narrowed as he looks at him. Regulus finally scoffs and looks away, Sirius smiles as he realize he won whatever they were doing but before he can celebrate he is interrupted by his brother. 
“I could get mom to fire him.” He tells him after a while of thinking.

“No, and you don’t even talk to mom.” He replies after remembering that both of them cut ties with their parents, Regulus did it some time after Sirius did but in the end he managed to walk away from them safe and sound. 
Regulus shrugs as he sits down closer to him, James is still by the door looking at the scene interested to see how this is going to play out.

“Okay but I could easily sneak in and ruin one of his projects and sign his name on it, you know dad wouldn’t appreciate such mistakes in his office and he wouldn’t want him to be there anymore. Problem solved.” Regulus says as if it is the most normal thing ever, Sirius can see James fighting himself to not talk and he chuckles at the sight.
Although he appreciates the offer he wouldn’t feel better after seeing him fired, sure it would feel good for a couple of minutes, but that is it. He thinks that having to work with his parents is a far more awful experience than being fired.

“No need. I’ll be fine.” They share one last look before his younger brother grabs his own cup and walks toward the door, where James is.

“Potter, seems like you still didn’t manage to solve the arsonist case. Is this the time where you ask me for help?” He tells the curly man and Sirius sees him as he smirks and leans on the wall behind him. It’s almost like James feels his eyes and he briefly catches Sirius’ look, the detective laughs as he apparently remembers about their conversation in the car where he agreed to not flirt with Regulus. Sirius tilts his head as he waits to see what the man will come up with.

“Thank you for the offer, detective. I will think about it.” He tells Regulus but Sirius notices how his voice was way too chirpy and his younger brother simply hums and walks away.

“What was that?” He asks laughing and James points a finger at him accusingly.

“I don’t know! I— This is— You know— Whatever, I’ll see you in an hour.” James gives up trying to find an explanation and leaves him in the break room by himself.

The night has taken a weird turn but even though the last couple of minutes have been funny he can’t magically forget about what happened earlier, he just has to get used to this new life where he doesn’t have someone waiting for him at home. 
His home will no longer carry the sweet smell of the expensive cologne, he will no longer come back from a long day with someone waiting for him. The future scares him, the past terrifies him so he decides to focus on the present and deal with what he is feeling slowly. He tries not to rush into anything or to force himself to feel better. He waits for his best friend for what feels like hours, his only thing in mind is getting to bed and falling into a blissful sleep.

6 months later 

“Man, you need to get laid and I mean it.” Marlene says as she takes a sip of her beer, they’re siting at their usual bar where they basically have their own table reserved. Sirius is surrounded by his friends who have been great to him these past months. He lived at James’ for a week or so after the break up and his best friend acted as if he was the sun, he kept looking at the situation with a positive mind that, in a sense, helped him get over it. With Marlene’s help he threw away his old bed frame since it only reminded him of what happened and he bought a brand new one. 
The blonde helped him change every thing that could make him think about his past lover and now he lives in a house where there are no traces of him.

Lily strategically invited him out every week to do something fun and to keep his mind occupied, it worked and Sirius has picked up a few hobbies along the way. His brother has helped in his own way, they never really spoke but his presence was more than enough and Sirius learned to appreciate the little gestures Regulus did. He would find groceries neatly put away after coming back from work and quickly understood that his brother was the mind behind that. 

“I tried, multiple times Marls!,” He replies frustrated “It’s not my fault no one is doing it correctly.” He adds as he drinks, Lily pats him on the shoulder as if to console him while James is laughing his ass off as he looks at Regulus’ disgusted face. His brother hates hearing them talk about this stuff and he usually leaves in time before having to hear it but tonight he was too distracted by the curly hair detective sitting beside him.

Those two are still playing this game and Sirius has decided he will just let them be, it’s not like it’s any of his business anyway. He knows they are both good people and he just wishes he could put them together himself just to avoid those awkward moments where they don’t realize they are lovingly staring at each other while Sirius is sitting between them, trying to eat his dinner. It happened so many times before that he could write a whole novel about them. He feels as if he is watching a show where the characters are doing things so slowly and the audience is screaming at the screen for them to just get together.

“Then get a good one.” Marlene continues the conversation and after thinking for a while she says “Are you telling me that the guy from last week wasn’t good in bed?” She asks curiously as she leans in to gather all of the gossip.

“Not really, he was nice but nothing too remarkable.” He explains lazily as he plays with the hem of his sleeve, he notices Lily getting ready to speak so he turns to her waiting. The redhead downs her whole drink and then slams her fist on the wooden table, she’s celebrating solving a case so no one bats an eye when she wants to order another one.

“Listen, beautiful” She says and by the look of her eyes he can tell she is past tipsy, she puts her hand on his shoulder as if to really connect with him “I have someone that might just do the trick for ya. He is—“

“Lils, you know my rule.” He smiles softly at her as he reminds her and she groans as his words come back to her “I don’t want a relationship, I am sure your friend is nice but I just want a physical connection, I don’t even want to know his name otherwise I’ll start to get interested and it’ll end bad.” He explains once again and just as usual he sees James scrunching his nose in disagreement.

“Pads, you can’t keep thinking like that! Just because that asshole—” As he mentions his ex-boyfriend everyone bang their fist on the table, a tradition they now added to the group “—Treated you like shit, you can’t just deprive yourself of love.” James says putting a lot of passion in his words even though they had this conversation at least fifty times by now. 

“James, you are an hopeless romantic. You tear up every time you see my neighbors holding hands, I don’t expect you to completely understand my rule.” He laughs and everyone else joins him, even James who nods in agreement.

“You say that as if they’re not the cutest couple ever! Sirius you saw the way he still looks at her after—“ Sirius laughs and interrupts him.

“—Fifty years of marriage, yes I know James I was there when they told us. Maybe you forgot because you were too busy hiding the tears.” 

James chuckles and nods along his words, confirming that he did in fact almost cry when he listened to their love story. Sirius knows that James has always been like this, he believes in love as if it is the only reason he lives every day, and in a sense it is. James Potter loves to watch soppy and cheesy romantic movies, he think everything is a date as long as the people involved love each other, his eyes shine at the sight of his parents together, every time he hangs out with his friends he feels as if at home. Sirius always appreciated something about him, and that is that James Potter can see love everywhere, even where the hate is too thick for anyone to ignore.

“I still think you should be open to meeting new people—“

“I am” Sirius cuts him off once again as Marlene clink their bottles together, immediately understanding what he meant.
The blonde always takes his side in this type of conversation since she also has been in difficult relationships. Sirius feels understood when he speaks with her, he likes that she never worries about what she says so he never has to worry about her lying to him. 
Marlene is vulgar, hilarious, at time too sarcastic but she also has a huge soft spot for all of her friend and she would commit crime for them.

“—Not just for sex, I’m talking about dates and dinners together and so much more.” 

“Maybe in a couple of months, I wouldn’t even think I’d be a good partner right now.” Sirius says and that settles it, James nods and holds out his hand while Sirius rolls his eyes at it. James extends his pinky finger just like he did when they were kids and he looks at him with a seriousness he only reserves for criminals.

“Really?”



“Yes,” James says as serious as ever “Pinky promise me that you won’t deny yourself of love when it happens in front of you.” 

“When?” Sirius says and smiles charmingly “You meant to say if—“

“I meant what I said, now hold my pinky or I swear I will jump across the table.” James says serious, even though the corners of his lips fight to stay still.

He sees Regulus looking at them and he notices the look that his brother shares with the two women at the table, they all look equally confused as to why two grown men are pinky promising instead of just talking about it. Sirius smiles because there is no use in explaining their dynamic, they have knows each other for so long that they understand everything about one another, James has been his light of guidance and he has been his. So if James Potter asks him to pinky promise even though they are both almost twenty four, he will do it without fussing too much. 

Once the promise was made they all go back to their normal conversations, they talk about harmless gossip which they all love, Regulus tries to act all cool and nonchalant even though he loves it just as much as they do. 
Lily talks about her baby nephew and about how adorable he is, she shows picture of the baby and they all coo at it. Marlene eagerly explains what she has been doing during her weekends and Sirius listens rather interested as she speaks about the small house outside the city that she has been renovating, the blonde also shows picture and Sirius agrees to help her out since they both like to get their hands dirty in that type of stuff.

James talks about his parents visiting him and invites all of them over for dinner and no one dare to decline the offer since James’ dad is a magician in the kitchen. He tells them he caught the arsonist a couple of weeks ago and they all cheer in support.
“Criminals run away if you see a beautiful man with glasses!” Sirius yells as he laughs and the people at the bar joins him in his yells of celebration. 

Everyone claps for a while until James decides to stand up and politely thank all of them for the nice gesture of gratification. Most of the people go back to their own conversations and the chaos dies down, they also return to what they were saying while Sirius goes to the bar to order another round.

“Edgar,” He calls the bartender by his first name since he has been coming to this bar for years now, the man smiles and leans on the counter as he waits for him to order “Can I get two beers, one glass of wine and…” He struggles to think about what to order for Lily and himself.

“So the beers are for Potter and McKinnon, the wine is for your brother who doesn’t appreciate beer, while you and red are getting,” Edgar pauses to think and then as if a lightbulb turns on in his head “Two whiskeys on ice.” 

Sirius immediately shakes his head and fights back the urge to gag at the mention of the drink.
“You give me those and you’ll be finding me throwing up beside the exit door,” He tells him and then adds “Or the middle of the bar if I’m not so lucky.” 

The man rolls his eyes at his dramatics but Sirius knows that he is not actually bothered, Edgar has grown to love him and his friends ever since they came for the first time and managed to break the screen while they were singing along to ‘Ain’t no mountain high enough’, James and Sirius were way too drunk and got way too into the song and while they were singing as if their lives depended on it, they somehow threw the mics directly into the screen. James almost pleaded for mercy on his knees while Sirius was already opening his wallet to pay it back, luckily for them Edgar laughed at the scene and told them that he needed to change it anyway. They became regulars ever since.

“Sirius, two years ago you used to down five shots of tequila as if they were water,” The bartender replies “And now you’re telling me you’re scared of some whiskey?”

Sirius chuckles with him and he opens his mouth to reply when another man prevent him from doing so.
For a moment Sirius forgot that he is in a very busy bar and that people don’t want to hear him banter with Edgar, so he plays with the rim of his empty glass while he waits to order again.

“Could I get a beer, one rum and coke and one chamomile tequila please?” Sirius furrows his eyebrows at the unusual order but Edgar doesn't seem as surprised as him and begins to make what the man asked. Sirius keeps playing with the glass and tries to comprehend why anyone would pair such different liquids together, but he is not really in the mood to talk so he doesn’t even bother looking up from the counter.

“Here, man.” Edgar says as he hands him a tray with the drinks and he smiles as the customer walks away.

“Chamomile and tequila, is that the ultimate tequila drink?” Sirius asks once they’re alone again.



“It’s not even the weirdest one, one time someone asked for a shot of vodka and a shot of hot chocolate.” Sirius makes a disgusted face as he tries to imagine what that would taste like only to be grossed out by his own thought.

“Anyway,” The bartender says again “You’ll get a mojito while red gets,” He stops to look over his shoulder to watch Lily and Sirius follow his gaze only to see his friends happily grinning with her head resting on the table as Marlene caresses her hair “Red gets a refreshing glass of water.” 

Sirius agrees with him and nods “Add a slice of lemon and you have a deal.” 
The man laughs and starts to prepare his drinks while Sirius talks about his day, explaining what he did in his studio today and updates him on the project he has been working on with the man’s  sister, Amelia, she models for Sirius sometimes and he enjoys the way they work together so efficiently.

“You boost her ego too much with your pictures.” The man says.

“Is this jealously? Do you want to model for me?” He leans in teasingly as the man sets down the drinks, they share a look and then they burst out laughing.

“Sirius, go back to your table! You and I would be total chaos.” He jokes while Sirius clutches his heart pretending to be deeply offended by what he said.

“Are you rejecting me, Bones?” Sirius asks desperately, trying to be as dramatic as he can as he watches the bartender struggles to stop laughing in front of him. From the outside their interaction must seem like a very harsh rejection but luckily for them no one seems to actually be listening.

“Yes, and I hate to do so Black,” He sighs dreamily, matching his behavior “You’re hot as shit but you’re also the complete opposite of me, we wouldn’t really work.”

“You’re basically just owning the fact that you can’t handle me.” Sirius teases him only to get a gentle smack on the forehead to get pushed away from the counter.

Edgar nods along his words and hands him his drinks while telling him to go away and take his malicious words with him. Sirius obeys and walks away with a winning grin, before he can approach the table he stumbles on something that was left in the middle of the floor but before he can hit the ground face first he is stopped by someone.

Sirius watches the tray of drinks as they dangerously spill everywhere but not too much, he feels the stranger’s arms on his shoulders as they hold him strongly enough to bring him back into a standing position. He turns to thank the man but only manages to see a peak of his face, it looks like he is leaving the bar and only stopped to help Sirius before joining his friends. 

Sirius makes it safely back to the table and hands each one of them their drinks, except for Lily since she is deep in her sleep.
“Why do you always take this long to get drinks?” Regulus asks him accusingly, as he sips the red wine.
Sirius shrugs innocently and he sits down next to Marlene who is already grinning ear to ear.

“D’you find someone interesting?” She asks and Sirius takes a long sip before answering her question.

“

No, I was chatting with Edgar and he rejected me saying we are too different.” He tells them pretending to be hurt only to turn around and send a flying kiss toward the man and, surprisingly enough, he catches it and puts it in his pocket.

“Doesn’t know what he is missing.” Lily slurs messily from her sleeping position and Sirius thanks her kindly before telling her to go back to her dreams.

The night goes on as usual and by the time the clock hits two in the morning they are ready to all go home and sleep it off. His house is within a walking distance from his house but he suddenly remembers he came straight from his studio so he drove here, he groans as he realizes he will have to walk all the way back to the bar in the morning to get his motorcycle back.

“Pads, you can always sleep at mine.” James suggests as they walk out, his apartment is closer than Sirius’ and he keeps part of his stuff there anyway so he doesn't really mind having a sleepover.

“Are you going to tell each other a bedtime story?” Regulus asks condescending and he gets a middle finger from his brother and a beautiful smile from James. Sirius turns around to looks at him with confused eyes as to why he smiled after being slightly insulted by Regulus.

“What?” James says after being stared at for too long “He doesn’t actually mean it.” 

“Yes, I do.”


“Yes, he does” He says at the same times as his brother and they both raise their arms toward each other as if to prove that they are right. James simply shrugs and runs his hand through his curly hair.

“To me it sounds like you’re just jealous,” James begins and Sirius already rolls his eyes at the interaction between the two “Do you want me to kiss you goodnight, Regulus?” And at that Sirius groans in slight disgust and leaves the two to join his two other friends. 

He can’t use the ‘just got cheated on’ pass anymore since he used it for three months straight and at one point James just declared he couldn’t stop his teasing and flirting any longer. Sirius had to accept on the condition that they mainly do it when he is not around, simply because any time those two talk he feels like as if he is intruding on something very personal and he doesn’t really need to see it.

He joins Marlene and Lily and they are having an argument, or more precisely, Lily is getting mad while Marlene stands there smiling.
“Marls, they are my friends!” She exclaims while she points to the exit door of the bar “I need to go home with them, they said they have a piano back at home and you know how good I am at playing it.” 

Sirius looks over to the blonde and she just signals him to stay quiet, he proceeds to follow her and watches the redhead almost close to tears.
“They’re very nice,” She hiccups between words and sniffles “One of them even ordered me a shot of vodka,” At that Sirius furrows his eyebrows getting already mad at the fact that a stranger thought it was a good idea to give her another drop of alcohol but then she adds hastily “But after I chugged it I realized he ordered me a shot of tap water. He kept saying it was vodka but I saw the way he winked at Edgar.”


“When did you have the time to do all of this?” Marlene asks curiously.

“Well, I met the pretty one in the bathroom while she was putting on this dark red lipstick, it was very pretty.” She starts to explain and then after daydreaming for a bit she adds “She told me my hair frames my face perfectly and I feel like that is a very good compliment.” She waits for them to say something and agree with her so they do.

“It’s very nice, yeah.” The blonde says.

“Just perfect, Lils.” 

“That’s what I though. And then while we were walking out I saw her again and I stopped her while you were too busy talking all together. She even hugged me! And I told them I loved them,” She smiles drunkenly but quickly turns her grin into a straight line “Until someone decided I couldn’t have friends!” Lily points her finger at Marlene who only responds by putting her hands up in the air.

“We needed to go, Lils.” 

“We are literally still standing still so I don’t see that much of an urgency.” She snaps at her but she is too drunk to actually sound mean in any way.


“We’re waiting for the cab, the one Regulus called. Remember?” She tells her and then suddenly Lily nods as if she remembered the past few minutes.

“Right,” She admits still a bit upset “I guess I have lost my new friends, at least I got to tell them I loved them.”
Sirius laughs at that statement but quickly stops when he gets a death glare from her, he clears his throat.

“Didn’t you just met them five minutes ago?”
Lily looks at him for a while as if to compose the best answer possible, it takes her a while to finally speaks but when she does she just a lot of passion in her words.

“Love has to start somewhere, right?” She asks both of them and Marlene chuckles telling her it’s too late for those type of questions while he gets actually stops and think for a while.

What is love, actually? 

He could say it’s a feeling that erupts in someone’s chest when they are close to someone they admire a lot, but in reality what is it? What is it, especially for him?

Love is fun and joy while also being sadness and tears. It’s beautiful but yet terrifying, it’s so easy to feel but still so hard to get right. 
Sirius thinks the word ‘love’ could be used in pretty much every scenario, either saying to a pretty plant ‘I love this plant!’ Or saying it to someone you feel at home with ‘I am in love with you’, such a small word for such a big meaning.

He said it in the past and he still says it but he thinks his idea of love changed throughout the years, he believes in it but as he grows up he realizes it’s not as easy as everyone says. It’s easy to love someone but not so easy to let someone love you.
“Hey,” Marlene calls him and he snaps out of his train of thoughts, he notices their cab is here and Regulus is currently busy helping Lily get inside.

“Bye, guys!” She yells from the window and he waves her goodbye as the car drives away, he turns to the side and sees his friend standing next to him with a annoying smile on his face.

“Can you stop doing that with your face?” 

“I am literally smiling.” Jame replies, dropping the smile.

“Yeah, at my brother.” Sirius tells him and then he starts walking toward the spot he parked his motorcycle “You couldn’t be more obvious.”

“We’ve been over this, Pads.” He says “I am nothing if not obvious about my feelings.”

“Okay no need to show off your emotional availability. “ He gets a laugh from him and they chat as they walk, at one point Sirius realizes they’ve been walking for far too long so they trace back their steps to get to the vehicle.

He needs approximately three minutes to realize his bike is gone, he groans loudly as his friend pats him supportingly on the back. It’s not his first time having his bike towed away and he is completely aware of his problem at parking correctly, he knows exactly that he parks in a way that pisses off cops and tonight, since he was in a hurry, he decided to park in front of someone’s house. They clearly didn’t appreciate his beautiful motorbike, he can’t really blame them.
“Why?” He asks to no one specifically but James still replies to him.

“Probably because you parked it literally under the sign that says ‘Can’t park here’.” He says and Sirius glares at him “I’m just guessing.” The detective cracks his fingers, an habit of his when he is trying to ignore a situation he doesn’t really like. James could be understood simply by his actions, his body acts before his mouth opens.

“Was the cop bored? There are worse crimes then me parking here.” Sirius says as he runs his hand through his long black hair and after doing that he adds “I mean, I literally saw someone get robbed like five hours ago.”

“It’s a dangerous city, why do we even live in it honestly?” James replies and they both think about it for a while as they stare at the empty spot on the sidewalk. Sirius is still holding the helmet in one of his hand while the other is keeping his eyelids closed as he breathes in and out trying to remain calm about this.

“All of our friends live here, we work here, rent is not too bad,” He keeps listing things still with his eyes closed and he can hear James humming next to him, the two spend close to five minutes debating the pros and cons of living in such a big city. The pros win and they decide to drop the topic.

“C’mon, let’s go home. We’ll worry about it in the morning.” James tells him dragging him away from the spot and walking with his arm on his shoulders.

“Can you just make a call and get it back?” Sirius asks him but it’s useless since he already knows the answer.

“You know I can’t—“


“— Can’t, yeah yeah.” He finishes the sentence for him and then adds “What’s the point of being part of the police if you can’t help your best friend out?” He tells him jokingly and James laughs along with him.

“I don’t know, saving people and all of that.” James replies and then they walk the rest of the way bantering and pushing each other as if they were kids playing in the park.

To get to James’ apartment they have to walk past a vinyl shop where they stop, every time without fail, at the front window where the old man that works there puts up his selection of the week. He usually puts out about five vinyls but it changes each time, tonight they’re looking at three. The Beatles, Blondie and Bob Dylan. 
They look at the records for about five seconds before James starts talking.

“He was clearly following the ‘B’ theme.” 

“Definitely, and yet he didn’t put Bowie. You disappoint me, Roger.” Sirius says pointing his finger at the empty chair that can be seen from a certain angle. The shop is a complete mess, in a good way. There are records everywhere, in every shelf you’ll find at least five stack on top of each other. The amount of dust makes it impossible to imagine working there full time, Roger’s decision of only accepting cash makes it ten times harder to sell something. But overall Sirius loves it.

He first saw it his second week in the city, he just moved and he was visiting James and then he was standing in front of the old shop.
It was as if he was supposed to be there in a sense, he remembers going in and immediately chatting with Roger, with whom he spent the next fifty minutes debating who deserves to be on the display every single day. They had different answers but it was still so fun to do it.
That day Sirius bought a Billy Joel’s record and he listened to it with James at full volume in his brand new apartment, it was long ago and yet it’s one of Sirius’ best memories.

“Okay, as usual Pads.” James says and they look at each other before Sirius’ holds up his finger and starts counting up to three. On three they usually say which one is the best on display, usually it ends with both of them insulting each other if their answers don’t match. They jokingly argue most of the times anyway.

“Blondie.” 

“Bob Dylan.” Sirius says and then throws his hands up in the air in a sign of desperation “James, really?” 

“What? Am I supposed to pretend I don’t listen to Blondie as I clean my house? Or when I walk to work? Get over yourself, Sirius. You said Bob Dylan only because you used to obsessively listen to him in college.” 

Sirius laughs but still tries to reply to his best friend “Well, yes. Only because he is really fucking great!”

“And Blondie is not?”

“Of course Blondie’s great, do you think I’m insane? But c’mon we both drunkly sang along to his songs more than once.” Sirius tries to convince him with old memories of them happily reciting the singer’s words way louder than anyone else at the bar.

“Yeah but that’s because they weren’t letting me play Blondie. I’m not saying he’s not good, but if I were to choose between the two…”


“This is absurd.” Sirius tells him as he chuckles and James shakes his head not wanting to change his answer “Okay, at your wedding I will only play Blondie.”
Sirius says and starts walking away before he can hear his friend’s loud voice calling him.

“Sirius,” James yells even though they’re still relatively close to each other “Only if you are the one singing every song.” He smirks and Sirius puts his hand out as if to seal the deal and stares at him in the eyes. They’re usually very serious about deals, once they shake on it they never change their minds and it is often more of a curse than a blessing, like the time Sirius had to wear a shirt that said ‘Proud Mom’ for a week straight. The problem created itself when he had to explain to strangers that he wasn’t a mother, that he didn’t have a child and that he didn’t have a mommy kink. It was a strange week but a deal’s a deal.

James extends his hand and just before shaking Sirius’ he yells way too quickly “You’ll also sing every other song requested for the night!” And before he can say something, the detective starts to strongly shake his hand. The deal is sealed and now he has to sing for the whole wedding, every song requested. 

“That has to be cheating.” Sirius says close to tears from all of the laughing. 

“Or maybe I’m just really, really smart.” James smugly replies “Now I don’t even have to worry about finding an entertainer.”

“Whoever you’re going to marry is going to hate me.” Sirius replies dramatically and he sighs as if to highlight his sadness inside, even though it’s hard to believe when he keeps smiling widely.

“Oh, Pads,” James says pouting at him in pity. He puts his hand on Sirius’ shoulder and then says “I thought you and Regulus worked things out.” 

Sirius erupts in a fit of laughter along with James, he tries to playfully hit him on his arm but that is difficult when he is doubled over laughing. James starts walking away happy with his victory.

“James, you’re just—“ Sirius gets interrupted. The voice comes from above him and for a good second he thinks he reached a new dimension where he can talk to the sky. Maybe the drinks were too strong tonight.

“Hey!” Someone yells and the two friends lift their heads up to try to locate where the sound is coming from “Both of you are fucking wrong. The Beatles win, so add that to your wedding playlist!”
The voice disappear and James speaks up after a while.

“Can you articulate on why they’re the best?” Sirius is muffling his laughter as James holds his finger up, signaling him to be quiet.

“Because they fucking are! Now go home you two, your wrong opinions are starting to ruin my dreams.”

“Are you saying that we are in your dreams?” Sirius says and he can somehow hear the voice groan, suddenly from a window on the third floor a heads pops out. It’s way too dark and far away to actually see any feature of the face but now they can hear the voice a little bit better.

“Yes, and you’re turning them into nightmares.” And after the two laughs, Sirius thinks he hears a chuckle from the stranger as well but it could be the alcohol making him hear things, they hear “Goodnight.”

And with that the window closes and they yell their own goodnight at the stranger before happily walking home.
They get inside James’ house and without spending one more second chatting they fall asleep in the bed, James’ bed, still in their clothes.

Before drifting off Sirius smiles with his eyes closed and for a second he thinks about how lucky he is having his friends care so much about him as he cares about them. A couple of months ago he was crying in this same bed and now he falls asleep blissfully knowing that the past is in the past and he has a lot more to discover in the future.
James’ slight snore keeps him awake for longer that he anticipated but his good mood won’t be ruined by such little things, he has so many plans and he genuinely can’t wait to start them.

Ever since he ended his relationship he started to get even more invested in his job and it helped him a lot, he expresses himself through art and his photos are just vessel for his emotions. He doesn’t feel guilty anymore about spending time at in the studio, he met so many new and cool people that helped him progress in his career. Things are starting to work out like he always used to dream.

“My fucking helmet.” He whispers as he realizes he left it somewhere on their way back, he silently groans and blames the vinyl shop for making him distracted.

“Yeah, you lost it.” James says with his head buried in the pillow, his voice is hoarse and Sirius turns around to face him. He though he was dreaming but apparently he was half awake, listening to him and confirming what he said.

“You noticed?” Sirius whispers very quickly and then “Why didn’t you say something ?” 

“I did notice it when we were two minutes away from home, I really didn’t want to go back. Sorry,” He says unapologetically and then “I’ll come with you to buy a new one?” He tries to ask and Sirius smacks him on the forehead as he smiles.

“Good work, detective.” Sirius tells him sarcastically “Let’s sleep.”

 

Nine months later 

He looks around the crowded room not finding his friends, he shrugs and heads toward the bar to order himself another drink. The bar where they are tonight is pretty full and it’s their first time coming here, they only decided to change bar because of Regulus’ friends. Barty and Evan work here as bartenders, and also as criminals Marlene believes, they kindly invited them to celebrate their opening, or second opening. The previous owner turned out to be not at all interested in bars and farther more involved in fraud, which leads them to this opening with the new owner, Frank.

Frank doesn’t seem as sketchy as the other guy, he’s young but older than him and he’s always smiling while Barty and Evan scold as if they were born with it.
The two bartenders are Regulus’ closest friends and he would do anything to protect them if needed, Sirius doesn’t particularly mind them but he acknowledges that their conversations sound pretty aggressive.

“Black, here to bat your pretty eyelashes and get a drink?” 

“You just called me pretty.” Sirius says as he leans on the counter “And also, yes that is exactly why I am here. Is it working?” 
Barty smirks mischievously at him while simultaneously preparing his drink. Barty Crouch is very arrogant, annoyingly sly, dangerous in certain situations but overall he is not the worst guy to chat with. Evan Rosier is quieter than him, he is judgy, quick with his words and his sarcasm sometimes hits the roof but he is also not too bad to spare a few words with. Those two have helped his little brother and he will always be grateful, that does’t mean that bickering is off the table.

“Looking smart, Rosier.” He tells the bleached blond “Off to commit a new exciting crime of yours?” 

“Last time i checked you were the one that was setting things on fire.” Sirius kisses his teeth as soon as he feels a tap on his shoulder, he turns to his brother who is pleasantly sipping his drink as if he did nothing wrong.

“You told them?” 

“Yes,” Regulus tells him plainly, his eyes as bored as his voice “They liked you more after that.” 

“That is true, next time call me I’ll help you out.” Barty says sliding him a drink of his choice, Sirius looks at the dark glass and smells it grimacing at it. He is not a huge fan of strong liquor but since Barty so kindly made this for him, he takes an hesitant sip remaining happily surprised.

“So you are involved in crimes.” He tells them and laughs with Barty before Evan interrupts their moment.

“Are you admitting you committed a crime? In front of a detective?” The blond smirks and tilts his head toward Regulus who listens to the conversation without adding anything to it.

“He wouldn’t put me in jail, I’m his brother.” 

“Yeah, I would.” 


“He definitely would, buddy.” Barty says as the same time Regulus speaks and Sirius decides he is done with the conversation, he grabs his drink and heads over to his friends and finds them in a heated argument.

James and Lily are arguing about something while Marlene stands back enjoying her cold beer, the blonde looks at him and signals him to come closer to fully appreciate the show the other two are putting on. 
“Why would you do that!” The redhead says pointing her finger at the other detective.

“Well, someone else is also to blame here!” James says and then turns to Sirius and Marlene to get their approval but the two shakes their heads.

“Don’t bring me into this, J.”


“Please don’t fight you’re my favorite unmarried couple.” Sirius says and the tensions eases a bit after that even though they both are still staring at each other in a non affectionate way.

“We’re not even together,” Lily replies to him and then adds “He’s not my type.” Lily winks at him and James gasps very dramatically as he leans forward quickly, they’re currently nose to nose. The situation must look very weird from the outside as if they were about to kiss but Sirius knows them to well and he could write down what is about to happen before they start to speak.

The thing is that James and Lily are basically best friends, they work perfectly together and in the academy they never left each other. They have bonded over some stuff they both shared and they’re always ready when needed, but as soon as they start arguing about some stupid thing they act as if they’ve just met each other.

James gets upset while Lily gets angry, sometimes they storm off and sometimes they act like kids, not speaking to each other for days at a time which becomes difficult when they have to work a case together. They always end up either crying to each other, showing up at the other’s apartment, calling and apologizing or simply talking about it like the adults that they are.
Sirius has seen this so many times but it’s always fun to guess what they are talking about.

“How dare you say I’m not your type, Evans?” James says in the background while Sirius turns to face Marlene and he hears before opening his mouth “Name one thing you don’t like about me.” And the two continue arguing in the back, Sirius tries not to hear them but it’s hard when he keeps noticing unwanted giggles from the two detectives that are supposed to be mad at each other.

“So what happened this time?” Sirius asks the blonde and then holds up his hand “Wait, let me guess. Did James forget about something important? Or maybe Lily entered his apartment without warning him, again?” He says trying to guess but from the blonde’s face he is wrong.

Marlene opens her mouth and suddenly the other two are joining them once again.
Lily puts her hand on James’ chest to physically push him away from the conversation which only leads him to pick her up and place her a few steps back. This goes on for a while until they decide to act like adults, or something close to that.

“So you know how my very annoying and also very rude aunt thinks we’ve been a couple for the last five years?” She asks them as she waves her hand between herself and James, who is standing beside her with a very annoyed look on his face as if ready to jump in at any time to defend himself.

“Yes and it is very weird.” Sirius replies and Marlene nods along his words. 

James and Lily somehow ended up in this fake relationship many years ago when they were still in the academy,  during a dinner with his aunt and uncle. Lily brought James to the dinner since she begged him not to leave her with those two, who she disliked very much, and James agreed because he believed that there were no such things as people that could be that rude. 
He was wrong, they were both very rude and invasive with Lily’s private life.

While eating their dessert, Lily’s aunt asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said no, but that wasn’t enough for the lady. After a while of pushing for answers, her aunt assumed that she was with James and he confirmed it. Apparently he was too fed up with her way of acting and he thought that was the best way out of it, and in a sense it was because her aunt was so happy to see her in a relationship and she immediately started asking questions while being overly rude and invasive.

That brings them to their current situation in which Lily’s aunt still believes they’re in a happy relationship and have been for at least the last six years.

“It’s been six years, Evans.” James adds in “Just setting some facts straight.” He justifies himself as Marlene and Sirius gives him a look that could only be associate with ‘was that necessary?’.
Lily shakes her head at him and starts speaking again, her tone filled with annoyance toward her close friend and fake lover.

“Anyway, I told James that he couldn't tell her that we are lying since that would cause so much chaos and I do not have the patience to handle it.” Lily stops for a second and Marlene immediately joins in the conversation.


“So you’re saying that you both dug yourself too deep in your lie?”

“Yes, Marls. That is exactly what I am saying!”


“Obviously, Marlene.”

They both say at the same time and the blonde simply puts her hands up as if to defend herself and ask them to proceed with what they were saying.

“James talked to my aunt,” Lily says and Sirius watches her as she grimaces before continuing after with “And told her that we are engaged.” 
Sirius begins laughing after that as if this was the funniest thing he has ever heard, he wipes tears from his eyes as Marlene laughs with him meanwhile James and Lily stand in front of them with their arms crossed, disappointed by their reactions.

“What?” Sirius manages to say between chuckles.

“She forgot a very important detail,” James begins “She didn't tell me that she was coming to the precinct and, most importantly, she didn’t think to update me on the status of our relationship.” He gives her a passive-aggressive side eye and the redhead groans loudly before answering.

“I was on a stakeout, so how could I possibly know that she was going to come visit me?” Lily tells him and then adds “And fine, I forgot to tell you but, you could’ve handled that interaction in a very different way.” 

Sirius waits for them to continue but the two remain silent as they sip their drinks so he turns to Marlene who kindly fills in the gaps for him.
“Lily was telling her aunt that she had news about their relationship and she wanted to tell her in person, mainly because she didn’t want to stay on the phone with her and wanted to postpone the conversation until Christmas dinner. Her aunt believed that they were breaking up, as Lily wanted her to think, but she didn’t expect her to show up to work to ask her properly.” Marlene takes a break to sip the beer before continuing.

“Her aunt found James instead and started grilling him with question and since he was very confused he didn’t tell her that they were not a couple anymore, so she jumped to conclusion and asked him if the news was about them getting engaged.” 
James decides to speak and finish the story while scratching his head in an embarrassed manner.

“She asked me and since I didn’t know what Lily wanted, I said yes.” He says with little to none happiness in his voice “So, now we are officially to be wed.” 
The group remains silent for a couple of seconds in which Lily and James stare at each other really hard, almost as if deciding who’s at fault in the situation.

“Congratulations?” Sirius tells them hesitantly but when he hears the two erupt in a fit of laughter he relaxes. Just like always, they realize that they’re arguing about something they can talk about and they go back to their usual selves.

“What the fuck are we supposed to do now?” Lily asks as she leans on James for support, the redhead finally letting free of all of the repressed laughters she held during the argument. James has already removed his glasses which means he was laughing too hard to safely keep them on.

“I guess we’re going to be married. My wife, everyone.” He says as they lock arms as if they were actually a couple walking around during their wedding. Sirius finds them exhilarating, those two are insanely similar in a sense but also so, so different from each other. He doesn’t know how they end up in so many arguments and still manage to remain best friends, maybe that is simply what true friendship looks like.

“I’m sorry,” James tells her sincerely and extends his hand out to her “Good?” 

“I’m sorry too,” Lily replies as she takes his hand firmly before shaking it “Good.” 
And just like that, back to normal.

The conversations shifts back to normal topics and they talk about what they’ve been up to during the week and their impression of the new bar. Sirius can see Regulus and his friends still at the counter as they chat, he wishes he could hear what they were talking about just so he could understand what his brother tells those two. He thinks about stealing an earpiece from his friends’ precinct but he believes it would be too much work for such little benefit.

The bar is crowded and the lighting is so dim that he struggles to see faces clearly, the music is loud but at least it’s good bar music. He can see that there’s a karaoke set up and he smiles internally as he thinks about what to sing with his friends, he’s always been a huge fan of karaoke especially because it’s so awkward sometimes that it gets good. 
His drinks is almost finished so he gets up from his comfortable seat and announces that he is going to get second rounds for everyone.

“Remember to get me the strawberry one, Crouch makes it so good I wish I could express my gratitude to him other than paying him in cash.” 

“Alright, keep it in your pants Potter,” Regulus suddenly joins the table and sits down “Since you’re going, do you mind getting me one too?” He asks Sirius and he nods before James starts to speak.

“You like fruity and fun drinks?” 

“Yes. Why is that surprising to you?” Regulus asks the other detective with inquisitive eyes and James simply shrugs.

“I though you only drank the blood of your enemies.” 

“There’s only so much of your blood that I can drink.” Regulus replies just as quick as James and the people at the table, including Sirius, looks at them as if they are an experiment. Everyone is thinking the same thing: How long will they keep this up? 
Sirius, as always, leaves before he regrets hearing things from his brother and he walks over to the bar where he finds Barty smiling from ear to ear.

“Missing me already?” 

“Yeah, I just can’t stand being apart for this long from you, Crouch.” Sirius tells him way too affectionate that even he is disgusted, Barty seems to find it exhilarating but he finds pretty much everything funny so he doesn’t really count.

“Are you flirting or getting ready to fight?” Evan asks as he polishes a glass of champagne, his eyes looking Sirius up and down as if he is an enemy he doesn’t want to get too near to.
 Sirius smiles at him because he knows exactly what is going on in his head and it doesn’t take a detective to figure it out. Evan has always been fond of Barty, Sirius remembers them in college and just how much they were together, the blond is protective of the other and it is very noticeable whenever someone talks to Barty in some ways that could be described as romantic. 

Barty likes everyone, but he definitely has a weak spot for the blond. He only gives sweet smiles to him, never interrupts him and somehow he is always touching him wether it’s his hand on the other’s shoulder or simply by standing close to him so their hips touch. 
The two are clearly enamored with each other and Sirius can’t wait to see how long it takes for them to figure it out. For all he knows they are already together, Evan is so mysterious that Sirius didn’t know his last name for years after knowing him while Barty uses sarcasm so much that it’s hard to understand if anything he says is true.

“Not my type,” Sirius replies to Evan and with a smirk adds “You can keep him, Rosier.” Just like he expected the blond doesn’t react in a very noticeable way, but Sirius doesn’t miss the way his eyes open wide for a quick second before setting back to normal. He laughs as he orders his drinks and look around the room, leaving the two lovebirds to their own conversation.

He is taking in all of the chaos in front of him, drunk people dancing, sober people watching from the side as they laugh their asses off, people kissing and people fighting. It’s a lot but he feels relaxed nonetheless. 
He never liked the quietness and the eery silence, instead he prefers loud music and people talking over each other. He likes to sleep with his favorite show on just so he does’t fall asleep in complete silence. 

Sirius hates when he can’t find something to talk about with someone, he struggles to stay silent when needed and when he does he countdowns the seconds before he can open his mouth. In his house there’s always some song playing in the background, even when it’s him painting or him showering.
 
He sighs happily before all of his peace of mind gets interrupted by a stranger.
“Have we met before?” The man next to him asks smiling, Sirius looks at him to try and recognize him but fails in doing so. He doesn’t recall ever meeting this man so he shakes his head.

“Sorry, I don’t think so.” Sirius replies kindly, he takes a sip of his new drink as the man tilts his head in surprise.

“No, I definitely met you before,” He continues “It’s not often that you meet such beautiful eyes.” Sirius fights his inner voice before he can say anything mean, instead he gives the man a tight smile.

“Thank you, but again,” Sirius starts and he can’t help but use a slightly annoyed tone this time “I don’t recognize you from anywhere, you might have the wrong person.” 
The man listens to him but he can see that his head is completely in another dimension, his eyes are trailing over his face as if to collocate him in the exact place where he thinks he has seen him before. Sirius feels weird under the gaze so he decides to get his friends’ drinks and walk away, before he can do so the man speaks again.

“I got it!” He says excited and Sirius looks at him with his eyebrows raised waiting for him to reveal such information “You were at my work’s dinner party! And you were with my coworker—“
Sirius tunes him out because suddenly the face of the man is starting to look familiar, his brown eyes were the one that he saw during one of those boring dinner parties.

“—I heard you guys broke up,” The man tells him, faking sympathy “It’s a shame really, but at least I get to tell you how stunning you are without feeling too guilty.” He tries to joke but Sirius scrunched up face shows how disgusted he is by this whole interaction. The man doesn’t really gets it since he keeps speaking even though Sirius is not listening to him anymore, until he says something that catches his attention.

“—He’s actually going to join us in a minute with his girlfriend, you probably met her before;” He says smugly when he notices that Sirius is definitely affected by his words “That’s funny, you and her have the same bracelet,” He hooks his finger to the shiny jewelry “Anyway, if you’d like we could go over there together, that way he’d get so mad—“ Sirius snatches his arm away from the man and get off his chair before turning to Barty and Evan.

“Take them to the others,” He says referring to the drinks and before they can say anything he adds “I’ll owe you both.”
And turns around once again to face the man who totally thinks that he managed to get Sirius’ attention and interest.

“I would absolutely hate to do that, especially with you.” Sirius tells him in a very condescending tone “I don’t care about him and his life and I really don’t give a fuck about you, so,” He smiles when he sees the man with his mouth slightly open in shock “Go back to your coworkers and please, fuck off.” 

He walks away as fast as humanly possible and he suddenly feels the bracelet on his right hand too heavy, he doesn’t turn around when he hears his name called instead he keeps walking hoping to get lost in the crowd of people.
He sees an exit door and he basically runs toward it, the black door is heavy and it is clearly a back door only used by the staff but he doesn’t really care right now.

The bracelet was a gift from his ex-boyfriend, he got it two years ago and Sirius remembers how happy he was to have received something from him. He also remembers seeing another similar bracelet and when he asked him who he was going to give the other one to, the man replied by telling him it was for his sister. It wasn’t, apparently. His ex-boyfriend was seeing his current girlfriend way before things got bad in their relationship. 

He never took it off, he wanted to at first, but for some reason he never did. He didn’t do it because he hoped to get back with him in the future but because he never thought about it after their breakup.

Sirius feels so much rage from just having a two minute conversation with that man, he can’t imagine what he would do if he actually talked to his ex-boyfriend. He assumes it would end with him being in the back of James’ car, heading to the precinct.
With each step, his feelings bubble up and he doesn’t have the energy to hold them in anymore, he can’t stand being this angry but at the same time he can’t bottle it up  forever.

Sirius feels sick with regret along with the anger, he tried to blame him for their breakup while he was seeing the new woman for months before that. Sirius is out of the building in mere seconds and he feels the freezing cold on his face but that doesn’t help with how hot he is growing inside.

“Son of a bitch,” He mumbles “How dare he buy me the same fucking thing? He could’ve at least try and be more creative.”
He pulls at the bracelet but it doesn’t seem to work as he intended, he wants the damn thing gone from his sight but he can’t manage to break it. He pulls and tugs but nothing works, he debates starting to bang his wrist against the wall but that sounds only hurtful more than useful. 

Sirius groans and spits out venomous words each time he fails until he decides to give up and slide down to the floor with his head buried in his hands. He can’t even go back inside because seeing the man would only end up with Sirius getting escorted out by the security for trying to fight him or verbally insult him.

He feels so tired, he hates the power the small jewel has over him. He was having a great time, laughing with his friends, but the universe decided to punish him for something he doesn't even know he did. Sirius tries to control his breathing but it’s too difficult when he is still this mad, he imagines that from an outside point of view, people can see smoke coming from his head. Like in those cartoons, he smiles at the silly scenario.

“Oh, I'm losing it. Great.”


“Do you need help?” A voice suddenly speaks and he doesn’t even bother lifting his head up.

“Only if you are willing to do anything to get this fucking thing off,” He mumbles just loud enough for the other to hear “Including the possibility of cutting my hand off, if needed.” He stays in the same position as before, with his head between his knees and he hears a chuckle, he watches from the gap between his left thigh and his left arm a a pair of shoes coming near him and a cigarettes being put out.

“Can I have a look?” The other asks gently and Sirius offers his arm, still not looking up. He feels the other’s hands on his wrist as they work on the jewelry. They stay like that for a while but soon enough he feels the click of the bracelet and once he looks at his wrist he sees that it’s bare, nothing can remind him of his ex-boyfriend anymore. He feels lighter for some reason and he finally raises his head to meet the face of the person crouched in front of him.

The man in front of him is dangling the bracelet in his face, waiting for him to pick it up from his hands. Sirius looks at his face and notices the kind smile and matches it to the gentle voice from just seconds before. His eyes are a warm color of brown, his hair messy with curls but not like James’ ones. He has freckles scattered all over his face and if Sirius stares hard enough he can see dimples.
“It just needed some time to open,” The man speaks up again as he looks at Sirius in the eyes “Here.” He puts it in Sirius’ open palm and closes his finger for him so that the bracket is safe in his hand.

Sirius shakes his head and gives it back to him hastily, feeling his skin burn by touching it.
“You can keep it,” He tells him “I bet you’d get good money if you sell it.” 
The other looks at it for a while but doesn’t move from his crouched down position, he looks at Sirius before standing up as he stretches his legs.

“Nah,” he says simply “You want to get rid of it?” Sirius nods eagerly, the other offers him his hand to help him up. Sirius stands up and he notices how tall the man actually is, he observes some tattoos from under his sweater but before he can stare some more the other speaks.

“I can help you.” 

“Why?” Sirius asks suspiciously as he looks at him with his head tilted “You don’t know me.” 

“I know, but I’m not exactly doing anything right now.” 

“Are you here alone?”  Sirius asks.

“No,” The other says and before Sirius can follow up with another question he adds “They’re inside talking to some people that I don’t particularly like .”

“So you decided to smoke outside by yourself?” 

“I was alone until you decided to join me with all of your mumbling.” The other smiles at him while Sirius raises his eyebrows at him.

“I wasn’t mumbling.” Sirius says as if to defend himself.

“Okay.” He says and then “So, do you want my help or are you just going to bang it against the wall until it breaks?”

“It would work, eventually,” Sirius points out and he internally smiles when he sees the other release a chuckle “Fine, yes. I would like your help.” 
He gives up and the other simply nods before turning to walk away from the back door of the bar.

“Wait,” Sirius stops him and when he turns around waiting for him to speak “Are you a criminal?”

“No, depends on who you think is a criminal.” The other asks as he stops.

“That is not an answer you give to reassure someone!” Sirius tells him baffled by his reply, the other just chuckles before walking toward him so that he can speak without raising his voice too much.

“Okay,” He says before clearing his throat and adding “I’m twenty-five, I have two cats and I live in the city. My friends inside are like my family and I decided to give them space to have fun, I have a degree in biology and I write about what I know in articles. Sometimes I get called to teach kids about plants and wild animals.” He says and he closes his eyes as if to think of anything else.

“I never met a celebrity even though everyone seems to have at least once,” He laughs with Sirius at this and continues “I don’t like to wake up early or change my coffee order often, I also don’t like modern looking houses where everything is either white or grey. I prefer sweet over salty, I hate wine and fancy food, I’ve been trying to quit smoking for two years but it’s something that I can’t let go.” 

Sirius laughs as the other keeps on listing things about himself and he finally stops him.
“Okay!” Sirius raises his hands to make him stop and the other does, they look at each other for a while as if to figure out what’s been left unsaid between them.

“Should we go?” He asks him as he takes out another cigarette form his pack, he lights it up and Sirius would join him if not for the fact that he doesn’t have his own and he hates asking others. Before he can say anything the other tells him “Do you want one?”

“Can I just steal a puff or two from yours?” He asks but he soon realizes that it’s not something you ask a stranger, for all the other knows Sirius could have a cold and could get him sick.

“Wait, sorry that’s weird—“ Sirius starts saying but the other has already turned the cigarette to him so that he can smoke, he is looking at him hesitantly and Sirius simply takes a drag from it, not even taking it way from his hand.

“I’m also not a criminal,” Sirius blurts out once the other starts walking away.

“Okay,” the other tells him smiling “Do you want to list a couple of things so that we both know that you’re good with the law?”
Sirius nods and starts to list a coupe of facts about him, not getting too personal, as the other listens in silence only commenting on a couple of things. Once he feels he has said enough he stops and once again they look at each other before speaking.

“Okay, we’ve established that we’re both not criminals,” Sirius says “if you end up being one, I’ll be so mad with you.” 

The other nods and smiles as they walk agreeing with what he is saying, as they walk next to each other he speaks up when he is down with his cigarette.

“I forgot to tell you my name.” He says and Sirius stops him before he can continue.

“Don’t,” Sirius tells him and once he receives a confused look from him he adds “It’s a long story.”

“Good things we have the whole night to navigate that story.” He tells him jokingly and Sirius nods happily “If you want to, obviously.” 

“Yeah,” Sirius says and playfully nudges him on the arm “You haven’t been weirded out by me fighting with a bracelet so there’s no reason for me to be afraid of your judgement.”

They walk away from the bar after making sure, once again, that they are both nice people so they keep asking each other question and they laugh when they hear each answer. Sirius almost tells him his name, forgetting his one rule, but manages to keep it in his mouth. 
The man he is with talks about anything and everything, they chat about meaningless things and about what they care about. 

The night is just starting and yet Sirius wishes he could go back in time for a couple of hours just so he could have met the man before. The moon is high up in the sky and the air is cold, they don’t know each other and yet they speak as if they do.