Chapter Text
Lincoln Loud: Girl Predictor
“Are you sure this is a good idea, Lincoln?” Clyde asked his white-haired friend.
“Not really. But I’m doing it anyway.” Lincoln replied.
“This just seems like kind of a rotten thing to do to your sister’s, especially my sweet Lori.” The lovestruck boy said, while starting to stare off into space on that last part.
“First of all, gross.” Lincoln said, being reminded of similar compliments before, finding them sad at this point. “Second of all, you don’t know my sisters like I do. They’re bound to take it, no matter the reason.” He said with finality.
“If you say so buddy.” As they were looking into the cabinets, looking at the chocolate they had just bought before closing it, Clyde just decided to accept the fact that his friend was about to play, at least from his perspective, a mean joke on his sisters.
As Lincoln was walking home from Clyde’s house after a productive day of pie making, he was feeling pretty good about himself, if just a little scared of what awaits at the Loud House.
He had read through this episode a couple of times and did not like the outcome one bit. He did admit to himself that a lot of it was Other Him’s own fault. Of course, all girls aren’t going to like the same things. What was he thinking? But it still rubbed him the wrong way that not only did his sisters sabotage his school project, but on top of that, laughing at his face after getting chased down by an angry mob, while also not giving any helpful advice on how to solve the problem they helped cause, to an extent.
He knew from the start that he would change things by suggesting keeping the chocolate and making the pies at Clyde’s house, but he still felt a little upset overall. Until he had been looking for chocolate pie recipes online and stumbled upon an interesting ad while scrolling on his phone. Apparently, they make spicy chocolate bars, some with ghost peppers, the hottest ones on the planet. Go figure.
That’s when he got an idea. An awful idea. Lincoln Loud had a wonderful, awful idea.
Now, Lincoln wasn’t a vengeful person by any means, but he felt he had to do something. He ordered some special chocolate bars just for his sisters. They weren’t the hottest ones ever, but they would still sting. He did want to give them a chance and place a sticky note on the cabinet door saying ‘Lincoln Loud’s. Do not touch,’ but that was mostly wishful thinking.
“I know they can be selfish at times, but maybe this time they actually listened to the note.” Lincoln thought to himself hopefully.
That wishful thinking was immediately thrown out the window when he opened the front door to his house and saw both his parents sitting in the living room looking at the entrance expectingly.
“Lincoln, is there something you would like to explain to me and your father?” Rita told her only son with a calm but eerie voice only a mother could use.
“I knew it.” Lincoln thought to himself. “Where are they?” He asked knowing his parents knew exactly who ‘they’ were?
“The kitchen.” Lynn Sr. replied.
“Do you mind if I explain it to you in private?” Lincoln asked his parents.
“Fine. Follow us.” Rita told her son, as she and her husband led their son to their room.
“And that’s about everything. You gotta admit, they kind of had it coming.” Lincoln finished explaining to his parents.
Knowing there was no way out of this, Lincoln decided to come clean about everything. (Leaving out a few minor details.)
“Sweetie, while we can understand making sure your project goes well, there are other ways to do that besides pranking your sisters.” Rita said to her son with a firm but understandable tone of voice.
“That’s right. Although the spicy chocolate was a pretty smart move.” Lynn Sr said with slight amusement, until his wife elbowed him in the chest. “But next time you feel like your sisters are going to interfere with your work, come to us first. We know they can be a lot sometimes, but we can help you, but only if you let us.
“I understand. I’m sorry. But if it’s any constellation, I made sure I got small ones for Lily. They had prunes in them instead of peppers.” Lincoln threw in to let them know. He wasn’t heartless. “And I’m willing to be on diaper duty for as long as I need to.”
“Well, that seems like a fair punishment.” Rita admitted. “Now, let’s check on your sisters shall we?”
When the three of them entered the kitchen, they were greeted by the sight of the Loud sisters standing/sitting around with various cold drinks and popsicles trying to alleviate the stinging sensation in their mouths. The only two exceptions being Lynn Jr, having a tolerance and liking to spicy foods, looking content, and Lily, which judging by the stink, needs changing soon.
“Oh girls.” Rita announced, getting their attention. “Your brother has something he wants to tell you.”
Lincoln took a breath and greeted his sisters. Their only reply being glares and agitated moaning at him. “Ok, I deserve that. Listen, I really am sorry about the prank chocolate. I just thought you guys wouldn’t have listened if I told you. But from now on, if I have worries, I will make sure to tell you guys directly.” Lincoln explained, apologizing to his sisters.
Lori, being able to feel her mouth again, decided to speak up. “Alright, we did kind of have it coming ignoring the note.” She admitted begrudgingly. “So, I guess we’ll forgive this time. Just don’t do it again.” She said for the rest of her sisters.
“No problem.” Lincoln said while picking up Lily. “Now if you will excuse me, I better get Lily cleaned up.” Lily decided to respond with the usual “Poo poo.”
Lynn Jr grabbed her brother by the arm before he could walk out. “Think you can hook me up with more of that stuff?”