Work Text:
Maloi is woken in the middle of the night by an unsettling dream. She bolts up from the bed, sweat dripping down her face, heart racing, and the memory of the dream slowly slipping away as she regains her consciousness.
She takes deep, calming breaths to steady the loud beating of her heart, and it takes a while before she realizes that she’s all alone in bed. The coldness of the sheets indicate that she’s been alone for quite some time, so she gets up in worry, with one place in mind as to where her girlfriend could be.
With light footsteps, Maloi makes her way out of the bedroom, slowly trudging along the dim hallways to her girlfriend’s pseudo-office at the other side of their loft. She turns the doorknob, quite surprised when she finds it unlocked. As gently as she can, Maloi slowly pushes the door open and to her relief, finds her girlfriend hunched over her work desk fast asleep.
The younger woman would definitely have a sore neck if she sleeps in that position until morning, so Maloi takes careful steps towards her sleeping girlfriend to wake her up.
She was about to reach out to shake her girlfriend’s shoulders when the photo in the latter’s grasp made her freeze on her spot. It’s a photo of Jhoanna hugging a dark-haired woman who Maloi recognizes as Colet – one of Jhoanna’s friends.
Jhoanna has an arm wrapped tightly around the other woman’s waist, while one of Colet’s is slung across Jhoanna’s shoulder. The two looked very snug in the photo, and they were smiling so wide that their teeth were showing. Maloi has never seen her girlfriend smile that wide before.
Heck, the Jhoanna in the photo looked so, so happy that her eyes were practically shining in mirth. Maloi’s heart does a little painful twist at the realization that she has never seen her girlfriend that happy ever since they started their relationship.
Her heart drops to her stomach, hurt and oh so sad. Maloi’s not stupid. She’s noticed, a couple of months into their relationship, how reserved and detached Jhoanna could get sometimes. She noticed the signs, had figured quite a while into their relationship that there might just be someone else who has a hold of Jhoanna’s heart. Even their friends have warned her from the beginning – it’s been a while since Jhoanna and Colet have broken up, but neither of the two were really keen on moving on yet.
But Maloi had been stubborn, had chosen to ignore all of it, for she loves Jhoanna so. They might only be dating for less than three years, and have known each other a little over that time, but Maloi knows she loves Jhoanna with all her heart. And it might be terrible of her, being selfish like this and holding onto Jhoanna when she’s aware that the younger woman is most probably in love with someone else.
But Maloi just couldn’t bring herself to let go. Unfortunately, it had been too naïve of her to think that she could maybe help her girlfriend to finally move on from her previous relationship.
Something wet lands on her left hand, and Maloi is surprised to find tears flowing from her eyes. She quickly moves to wipe them away – there’s no need for tears, she was the one who wanted this anyway. She was the one who asked Jhoanna out, and she had been the one to subtly pester the younger woman to go on dates with her.
But it was not like Jhoanna was hard to convince. It usually only took a pout from Maloi, or a disappointed sigh, before she found herself getting dragged by the younger woman to wherever it was she wanted to go.
But now that she’s thinking about it, now that she’s caught a glimpse of a fraction of how happy her girlfriend was with her previous partner, it made Maloi second guess Jhoanna’s real feelings towards her.
Did Jhoanna go on all of dates with her because she really wanted to spend time with her, or was she merely – as kind and as beautiful as she is – going just out of pity for the older woman? The thought made Maloi sick to the stomach as another fresh wave of tears spilled from her eyes.
This won’t do.
Maloi shouldn’t be crying like this, shouldn’t be thinking the way she is. Jhoanna had told her recently that she’s been helping the younger woman move on slowly. It made Maloi’s heart swell with relief and so much love for her girlfriend, that it prompted her to lean in and catch Jhoanna’s lips in a searing kiss.
She is making progress, no matter how small it may be. As long as Jhoanna doesn’t say that she wants to end their relationship, Maloi will keep holding on and will try her best to help her girlfriend learn to let her inside her heart.
Taking a deep breath, Maloi composes herself and finally reaches out to gently shake Jhoanna’s shoulders. She even leans down to whisper a soft “Tintin, mahal, wake up” into her girlfriend’s ear.
The younger woman stirs awake slowly, her eyelids fluttering before slowly opening. She seems disoriented at first, hands clutching the photo tighter as her hazy gaze flits about the room. Maloi smiles at the cute sight, before gently cupping Jhoanna’s cheek, turning the latter’s head so that she was facing her.
“Lucky?”
“Your neck’s gonna be sore in the morning if you sleep like that. Come back to bed so you can sleep more comfortably.”
It seems that it was only then that Jhoanna had fully awoken from her slumber, for Maloi sees her eyes widen comically, quickly darting towards the photo in her hand before going back to Maloi in the most discreet way she can. Yet Maloi still noticed anyway. Jhoanna’s mouth falls open slightly, but before she could say anything, the older woman is quick to lean down and plant a soft, reassuring kiss to her lips.
“I’ll leave you alone so you can tidy up here for a bit, or finish whatever it is that you have to finish. Just come back to bed when you’re done so you can get some rest. May trabaho ka pa bukas, wag kang masyadong magpuyat.”
Without letting Jhoanna sneak even a single word in, Maloi quickly walks out of the room to head back to their bedroom. More tears roll down her flushed cheeks as she settles under the covers, with her back facing Jhoanna’s side. She closes her eyes and wills for sleep to quickly come to her. She doesn’t really want to deal with Jhoanna right now. She’s tired and a little hurt, and she just wants to rest.
Around half an hour passes before Maloi hears the door to their bedroom open. There’s some shuffling across the floor before the other side of the bed dips with an additional weight settling in. Maloi feels lithe arms wrap around her waist from behind as a warm body settles against her back. She feels her hair being swept to the side before a gentle kiss is placed against her nape. The warmth of Jhoanna’s lips against her skin causes the hairs on Maloi’s skin to stand up on end as a shiver runs down her spine.
The familiar scent of lavender wafts around her, enveloping Maloi and blanketing her in a feeling of warmth and calm. She snuggles further into Jhoanna’s embrace as she finally finds herself drifting off to sleep once more.
The morning after, they don’t talk about the fact that Jhoanna fell asleep while staring at a photo of her and Colet while they were still together.
Maloi feels her heart break a little more inside her chest.