Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Han Jisung, are you still with me?” He snapped his fingers in front of Jisung’s eyes, making him burst out of his bubble.

“Sorry, is just-”

“Not what you expected, right?” Hyunjin interrupted him again, it was clearly a habit of his. Not that he was acting rude in any other way since Jisung had arrived in the building, the man just seems too eager to speak his mind. “This place would be so much better if only it had more windows, maybe it looks so lifeless cause there's no proper sunlight.” 

Jisung looked around for what he figured to be the fifth time since he stepped in. He couldn't think of  disagreeing with Hyunjin when the only window of the new office was currently facing the hallway. He was already suffering in advance just thinking of how hot the summer would hit inside this – almost –  confined room, for whoever worked here.

“Don't you worry about it, Hyunjin-ssi.” He decided to say instead, offering what he expected to be a ‘I’m totally cool making small talk with my new coworker cause that’s my favorite thing to do’ kind of smile.

“I'll be honest with you, I have no idea what instructions to give you now. They told me to show you around a little, but now that I did that I'm not quite sure of what to do since we're, like, from different departments.” Hyunjin said, seeming a bit flustered as he scratched his nape with the pen he was holding, then looking back at Jisung. Right, the other man was in the art direction team. “Maybe your manager can see you already, I should go and check.”

That definitely wasn't a question, but Hyunjin’s tone made it feel like one. Jisung was unsure of what to answer or how to act, even more when the other asked if he wanted to tag along or just wait there.

The wise choice would be to follow him and get familiar with the place, even if he wouldn't be coming here all that much. Besides, being presented to the rest of the crew could help him to build connections, but those ten minutes talking to Hyunjin were the equivalent of talking to thirty people or so, in Jisung's perception. The man was that full of spirit. 

“Actually, I'll just wait over here if you don't mind.”

And he was all alone again, just like that. Although it didn't last much.

From the corner of his eyes, he captured the movements when another person opened the door once again. The guy scanned the room shortly before locking eyes with him, and before he could say anything, Jisung searched for the name on the ID Card around his neck. Kim Seungmin, he knew it even before actually making sense of the letters.

“Hi there. Jisung-ssi, isn't it?” Seungmin approached, with his hand out, making the other shake it in a heartbeat. It felt nice finally meeting the guy, and yet so awkward. “I suppose Hyunjin said the manager would be coming?”

“Ah, yes he did. Hi Seungmin-ssi.” Jisung adjusted his glasses as he spoke.

“Well, I'm not actually the manager but I'll be helping you for the time being since we’re doing similar work.”

Similar works, yet somehow significantly different. 

Seungmin is a writer, a real writer who's always referenced at the end of the news under important labels. He is a journalism legend. Jisung happened to become a part-time article writer for the same place Seungmin currently is, but with such opposite means. They're like two faces of the same coin.

“It's gonna be a pleasure to be working with you.” Jisung says, and he means it.

What could go wrong?

Everything. Anything, really.

Being a freelancer for such a huge name in the industry didn't actually set high expectations on him because he knew exactly why they wanted someone unrelated to them, in contractual terms, to do this job.

They wanted someone who would dig into any sort of news and write about anything that was asked, dragging whatever and whoever down without tarnishing their image. Someone to blow rumours way out of proportion and ruin others’ reputations so the artists under JYP label would stand out among the rest.

Jisung was terrified once he went home, he couldn't stop thinking what his manager’s first demand would be. The man who didn't spare a single minute of his day to meet him but was going to dutifully ask him to bad mouth – bad write – about who knows what from now on. 

Not a simple work to do, but could Jisung really complain and act like he had morals when he chose it for himself?

He huffed, taking off his glasses after refreshing his e-mail's main box several times in a row, waiting for something to happen.

The weather was nice that day.

It wasn't too bright outside, neither too gloomy. The breeze felt pleasant enough against his skin, bringing comfort other than goosebumps all over. A perfect day by all means, he would say.

When Jisung met him for the first time, he had been walking around the park, trying to enjoy his weekend without feeling like garbage over yet another failed attempt at writing something he likes.

It was endearing to him how at least that one moment didn't happen in the company. Most of their moments belonged to that place to some extent, but not their first encounter.

Jisung was the first to notice the other, stopping on his track instantly as if he got hypnotized. Can a human being really look that gorgeous?

The other man was walking in his direction, apparently texting on his phone and unbothered by his surroundings or the fact he was about to collide with someone else. 

If it had happened in different circumstances, he doesn't think the guy would've ever noticed him, that because Jisung was always trying hard not to be perceived by people around, he was fine by just doing what he needed to survive on his own, without further worries. But right now, it was impossible not to be noticed if he was standing in the guy's way, making a complete fool of himself. 

Once the man almost crashed into Jisung, he looked up with wide eyes and slightly parted lips, looking concerned.

Dear lord, Jisung thought.

Somehow, being perceived this one time was the best thing that could've happened to him.

“Are you alright? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention.”

“I'm fine, it was actually my fault, I'm the one who's sorry.” Jisung felt his face getting warm and his glasses sliding down his nose. Hands starting to get sweaty. 

“It's okay, we didn't actually crash so it's all good.”

“Are you… Are you an idol?” 

He blinked. Once. Twice. Then he tipped his head and narrowed his eyes at Jisung. Great start.

“Or an actor. You know.” Jisung pressed his lips together, realising he wasn't helping his case.

Now if the handsome guy was, indeed, an idol or an actor, he was going to think Jisung was a stalker or something in between. Why would he ask it the first thing when seeing someone?

“Are you a scout?” A reasonable conclusion.

It was Jisung's turn to blink several times at him – copying the man to see if this would get him out of this situation.

“No! I just think you look- Well I'm sure you know you look like a- What would people call it? An ideal type.”

He felt like a loser once the words left his mouth. Even more as the guy in front of him expressed no reaction.

Jisung took out his glasses at the pretext of having to clean his lenses, when it was actually just to blur the image of the still face watching him. After indirectly telling him he was Jisung’s type. Jisung would never leave his house again.

He missed the slight smirk the other man gave him, as he was trying to come up with explanations about korean perceptions of facial beauty.

“What if I tell you that I'm currently training to become one? An idol, it is.”

“Oh.” Jisung tried to think of proper compliments one would like to hear, ignoring the way his face was, still, hot all over. “Congratulations, I'm sure you're gonna do great.”

Well-polished words that could mean nothing coming from a stranger, but Jisung sincerely wanted to be hearing about him again. The other smiled. 

“I hope you'll look forward to it. I'll get going now.” 

Jisung felt like he could breathe again once the man left. He resisted the urge to take a look over his shoulders, following his own way.

From the time he went home until it was almost evening, he wrote. Tried to, as the inspiration was there, but something was missing. Has been for a while now, as he couldn’t seem to finish his original story.

He wrote. Checked. Deleted. Started again. And again, and again, and again. 

It wasn't a lack of hard work, Jisung knew better than anyone how much he was trying to get a piece of something – anything at this point.

He snorted, dropping part of his upper body over his keyboard. He could feel another breakdown building up as he found himself unable to make sense of his own creation. 

Maybe the self-insertion should stop, he was told so a hundred times, but what else was he supposed to do if he aimed for something relatable?

Jisung wanted to be able to comfort people who felt just like him, but he couldn't write more than two paragraphs without thinking about how his ex-editor would say he was being too raw. 

It wasn't comforting, it was pitiful – he can almost hear the elder's voice.

Bbama, as the loyal son he was, jumped off his lap and left the room once Jisung started to sigh repeatedly.

The worst part of being bad at the thing he loved doing the most, is that it wasn't always like this.

As a kid, Jisung used to be praised all the time by the adults around him. His teachers were delighted every time he read a production of his out loud – too smart for his age, they would tell him and he found himself buying this narrative, even when he  pretended not to care about all the flattering.

He wasn't prepared for the day when the compliments stopped coming, he would get one of those all the time in the past, the sudden change made him feel uneasy. 

At college, he was just like everyone else, not a golden star. 

Of course, this was not about Jisung wanting the world to revolve around him, he just wanted his art – if he could even call it like that – to feel special to someone.

If there was something Jisung hated a bit too much, it was to feel peace in the thought that it could have been worse.

But in the current situation, it could've been worse indeed. And he is relieved it wasn't.

The first bunch of articles he was asked to write about as a part-time worker for JYP were actual real issues and not just made up problems to drag other people down. 

Well, he wasn't that innocent to think the company really cares about the mistreatment other labels were putting their employees through, and that the reason he was asked to write about it was just to bring justice for them. 

But, as the person who's exposing issues like those in the media, even if he knows their true motivations, he feels kinda like a hero saving the day. If he were to say more precisely, an anti-hero.

It was nice, too nice. 

Maybe because of that, he felt like it was a good idea to go to the company’s building, even if he wasn't needed there. Perhaps Seungmin had read his publications and was going to give him some sort of feedback, or even tell him they were perfectly amazing and he couldn't wait to read more of Jisung's work. Ha.

As he approached the turnstile, realisation hit him that he couldn't get in without the company's ID Card, which he wouldn't be getting with his freelancer condition. Still he stood there, glaring at the gates as if it would take pity on him and let him go inside.

“You need your ID Card for it.” The security guard by the entrance warned him, probably guessing he was a new employee who was lost. Jisung looked back at her like he was a kicked puppy.

“Jisung-ssi?” Someone from inside. Jisung followed the sound of the voice, being met with Hyunjin waving at him with his hand. There were two men Jisung didn't recognise by his side. “It's you, come join us!”

“Would love to, but I'm kinda in a situation right now.” He said, pointing at the turnstile.

Turns out the solution was very simple, he just had to explain to the security guard he was working with Seungmin, as Hyunjin did on his behalf. 

“What are you doing here, Jisung-ssi?”

“Are you sending me away?” Jisung said, hoping it wasn't too early to think they had the intimacy to joke like it. 

“That's not it! You brat.” Hyunjin replied, clicking his tongue playfully as they walked back to Hyunjin’s acquaintances.

As they got closer, Jisung inspected the two guys, already planning in his head the to-go conversation when meeting someone at a new job.

First, he would say his name. They would ask him what he's thinking of the work here, then he would say that although he's confused at times, he's learning well. 

If he's lucky, the conversation won't go further than that, if he's not, he'll end up telling them the neighbour he lives in and the next topic is gonna be how long it takes him to get to the building.

But isn't that handsome face he's seeing right now the same guy from the park?

“God.” 

Minho and his colleague stopped their conversation, looking at Jisung after the latter caught their attention in such an unexpected way.

He adjusted his glasses, clearing his throat. “I meant to say good morning.”

“Guys, that's Han Jisung, he's kind of working with Seungmin but not really, it's hard to explain.” Hyunjin started the introductions, bless him. “Jisung, that's Chan, our producer, and Lee Minho, currently our trainee.”

“Why are you introducing me like you haven't known about me your whole life?” Minho said.

“Cause Jisung is gonna think you're a nepo baby, obviously.”

“What nonsense is that-”

So, here is the situation. Jisung realised sooner than expected that Minho was the one for him – at least in his mind, since he didn't plan to act on it. He was an expert on the art of yearning by now.

There was just something about how awestruck he got seeing the man playfully scolding Hyunjin. He already knew the guy was the most gorgeous living being out there, but seeing him interacting with friends, Minho also seemed to be so gentle.

Sure, Jisung listened to him playfully – he hopes – threatening the long haired man, but he did it while smiling so prettily, maybe it influenced his conceptions.

As they followed along their destinations, Jisung kept wondering if Minho remembered him from the other day. 

Minho didn't say anything to acknowledge their last encounter, nor did he act suspicious being side by side with him. Actually, there wouldn't be a reason to act suspicious even if he did remember.

“You good?” Jisung almost jumped at the sudden whisper, Minho curled the corner of his lips as he looked at him, his eyes showing his amusement. “You seem to be thinking about something.”

Yes, about you and a possible marriage too, Jisung wanted to say. Instead, he smiled back at him.

“Don't mind it.” 

At the end of their second encounter, Jisung wasn't able to identify if Minho remembered him. But he was able to identify the mole on the side of his nose and his insanely long eyelashes from how much he watched him. 

The positive point was that Minho is working under the same label that hired Jisung. Not that Jisung was going to bother him every once in a while, he just got himself entertained with the thought of crossing paths with him. Like in a gradual romance story.

As Jisung sat by his bed, trying to transfer some of this feeling to his notepads, Felix watched him from the other end of the same bed, with a shit-eating grin. His cookies were long forgotten as he found time to pester his friend.

“So you're really gonna write porn about you and a guy you saw twice?” 

“Man, and they say romanticism is dead. That’s not porn and you’re disgusting.”

“You can't fool me, I know you're trying to claim the energy or something. Like those shifting people.”

Jisung squinted his eyes at the blonde, abandoning his notepads temporarily. “You're one of the shifting people.”

“So are you!” Felix argued.

“It was a long time ago!” In his defence, he's a writer and a person with undying curiosity, of course he would try to shift to another reality if many others were saying it was possible. He's embarrassed now, after several failed attempts.

“Do you have a picture of him? He can't look that good.”

“Yes he can.” Jisung sighed, dreamy. “And he's also so cool.”

Felix snorted, climbing from the spot where he was to hide under the covers. “I'll sleep over today, Jeongin kicked me out for the night.”

“Did you fight or does he have someone over?” 

Felix grumbled. “Both.”

Jisung tossed his stuff aside, making space for himself so they could sleep.

“I'll take your side if we cuddle.” He said, as if his friend wasn't already going to give in from the start.

The first time Jisung was asked to trash talk about another company’s artist, he didn't freak out like he expected himself to do, at least not while he was writing.

He got immersed in the task of making all the points connect, surfing between what his manager wanted him to say and the actual truth. 

What happened was that this young woman, Minseo, had been to a party last weekend, a normal behaviour for someone in their early twenties, anyone at all. She was photographed waiting for her drink a few times, while she was playing a game of throwing some used napkins close by in the trash bin, placed inside the bar. 

The turning point was that in some pictures, from the right angle, it looked like she was throwing it at the bartender. Jisung's participation in this was to create a narrative of bullying.

Once he finished, he stared at it, his anxiety finally starting to creep in as he kept going through the article. The flesh around his nails was mostly covered with dried blood from all his biting.

That wasn't right. It would destroy someone's reputation and make the internet say the meanest things directed to her when she didn't even do anything to deserve it. Not that anyone would ever deserve the hate she was about to face. 

The whole situation kicked Jisung right into a slump.

Instead of hiding himself under his blankets and pretending he wasn't a human being for the rest of the day, Jisung saved the file and closed the page so he could log onto a bunch of Minseo’s group content. 

They had a perfect chemistry together and were incredibly caring for each other. It was clear from all the affection they shared in every opportunity. The girls seemed to always reach for one another all the time, telling stories that only one’s family would know.

Somewhere in between their explanation about the tracks in their recent comeback, he realised that if Minseo was to be affected because of him, she wouldn't be the only one. All of her friends that have great admiration for her would also be negatively affected by it. Would they blame her for it? Would they wish Minseo never joined, in the first place?

As the hours kept rolling, Jisung was met with his deadline. He could see from his peripheral vision the amount of times his phone screen lit up, showing the hundreds of messages he was getting from his manager. 

It's not like he can't refuse a freelance when he thinks it's something beyond his capacity, it's just that it would be seen as ‘giving attitude’ when he was barely two weeks into the job. Besides, he knew from the start that's the type of content they wanted him to produce, he didn’t even feel like he had the right to turn his back.

As he reached for his phone so he could at least say he wouldn't be publishing it, he found himself paralysed when he read the last text his manager sent him a few minutes ago, a link with the same information Jisung was putting into the file earlier.

Opening the article in the blink of an eye, Jisung went through it quickly, just so he could see if it was his doing. Did he send it to someone? He doesn't think he did.

And he didn't. It was the same material, the same photos, but done by a different person. Someone that had the courage Jisung didn't. Someone that would be getting a commission out of Minseo's tragedy while Jisung's manager was being passive aggressive on his chat because they weren't the first to publish it.

Well, did it truly matter if the goal to affect their contestant would still be achieved, anyway? 

Jisung got carried away by his own thoughts, so much that he only became aware of what he was doing the next day, when he was pushing through the turnstile again. He didn’t know how he got here.

Ashamed to turn around when he just got in, he scammed his own outfit quickly, making sure he didn't look like a mess before walking ahead, no destination at all.

If his mindless walk took him to the dance practice room, where Minho was now stretching his arms, that could only be considered as his luck after all hardships.

Jisung didn't mean to spy on him, he was going to keep walking until he probably ended up finding Seungmin or Hyunjin, being sure that they could distract him by talking about their own tasks, but how could he ignore the sight of the other looking all concentrated on his moves?

“Jisung-ah? I can see your head peeking.”

Jisung adjusted his glasses, feeling embarrassed all over. It was a common occurrence by now, every time he saw Minho.

“Sorry, I was just passing by.”

“No worries. Why don't you come in? I'm just finishing the last route.”

Jisung considered the possibilities. It wouldn't do any harm to stay. He walked inside the practice room wordlessly, finding a seat. 

Minho went through his practice dutifully. The way in which he was doing every move assertively told him how much Minho had trained himself to perfection. It was more than natural for him by now, like he knew all those steps from ages ago.

From this distance, he could see the sweat running down Minho's neck. He gulped.

Once Minho was done, he took a minute to establish his breath before he finally went to Jisung’s encounter, dropping in the seat by his side.

“You love this flannel shirt, I can tell.”

Jisung opened his mouth, perplexed. He does remember being in this same shirt last time they met. “Why would you say that? I love it, yes, but I did wash it!”

“Not saying anything, I like how it looks on you.” He replied with a genuine compliment, but Jisung felt his pressure going down. 

“By the way, is it okay to call you informally? You seem younger than me, but I'll stop if it makes you uncomfortable, we met pretty recently after all.”

If only he knew Jisung already called him ‘husband’ in his mind once or twice. “It's okay, I don't mind it!”

“Great then. What brings you here today, Jisung-ah?”

Jisung doesn't even know the answer for that. He was having self-deprecating thoughts for a whole day when he automatically was brought here. 

Maybe he unconsciously knew the sharp-eyed man would brighten up his mood.

Jisung shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea.”

Minho hummed as if he was acknowledging Jisung's answer. 

He thought the other would go back to dance and leave him to watch some more, but as he heard Minho's stomach growling, he looked curiously at the man when he started to walk off. 

“Wanna grab something to eat?” He motioned his hand as if calling Jisung to join him, and of course the latter went to him as quickly as possible.

He just didn't expect their meal to be in JYP’s canteen.

“Don't look at me like that, I have to go back to practice in thirty minutes, that's why!” He justified it before Jisung even thought of saying something, both of them giggling soon after.

Minho didn't actually eat anything, affirming that if he did eat, he would feel full and sleepy, and it would ruin his performance when he went back to the dance practice. 

Instead, he got an iced tea to join Jisung at the table as the younger one was eating up a seaweed soup. 

Now that he thinks about it, he can't remember if he spared some of his time to make a meal for himsel since he woke up.

“You look like a squirrel when you eat.”

Jisung looked at him, cheeks stuffed and glasses sliding off his nose. He took it off, placing it safely by his side.

Minho hummed contently as he inspected Jisung's face.

“Hyung, don't you want a little bit? Just to have a taste?” Jisung asked again, already getting some of it for him.

“Not really, Jisung-ah. Thank you.”

Jisung shrunk, stuffing his mouth again. He must have been too eager. Perhaps Minho thought he was getting ahead of himself, forcing a proximity that wasn't there. 

Even if they weren't in friendship conditions yet, offering your food was only a polite thing to do!

Minho cleared his throat, getting Jisung's attention over him again. “I can't have it now, but we can go out to properly eat some other time if you want to.”

Jisung felt himself lighting up once more, nodding in agreement. He finished his soup as Minho kept watching him in silence, until he had to go back to practice and Jisung left the building.

When he was back at his house, he called his best friend. There was some screaming in the other line before Felix said something.

“Is the fighting scaling?”

“Not at all, we're playing fortnight and he fucking sucks at it.” He could hear Jeongin complaining, making it clear that Felix was a dirty liar.

“As if you're one to tell.”

“Hey! I've got better! Whatever, is it about your crush on the cat-like trainee or ranting about your job?”

“Am I so predictable like that? Now I don't even wanna talk.” Jisung whined.

“It’s cute, really.” As Felix talked, Jisung could hear the back noise getting behind. There was a door closing, indicating that the blonde was getting into his room.

“You see, I think I want to be close to him like actual friends since he's very nice, but I'm worried it's gonna feel too creepy cause I do want to make out with him.”

“Why would you think it's creepy? Are you making him uncomfortable by any matters?”

Jisung thought about it. Minho didn't show any signs of being bothered in the last three times they were together. 

“I don't think so? But it's just that I don't want to make him pressured with my obvious pinning.”

“Maybe he likes to see pathetic twinks pinning for him and you're gonna be his personal entertainment. Can't trust pretty people.”

“He's not like that! And I'm not a twink no more.”

“If you say so.”

Once they hung out, Jisung kept staring at his ceiling. 

He could only hope to make it work. Not only his relationship with new people at his work but also successfully pushing through his days without feeling like he's doing it all wrong.

Jisung kept seeing Minho all the time after that day.

He wishes it was a literal occurrence, actually going out his house to be greeted with that handsome face by his door, but it was just in a figurative sense, indicating he thought about the guy a lot.

After having that somehow clarifying call with Felix several days ago, Jisung was determined to approach Minho. But between the minimal tasks assigned to him and the overthinking he often did, he ended up just pushing the ‘Go and talk to Minho’ mission aside.

This week, he decided it was now or never.

“I think it's his day off.” One of the dancers told him with an apologetic semblance.

Damn his life.

“Oh, I had no idea. Thank you though!” Jisung replied, bowing his head before he stepped out of the room.

It was his bad luck to blame this time.

Instead of standing there, sulking where every passing person could see, Jisung went to the nearest cafeteria. Drinking some bubble tea while staring at his unfinished drafts in the phone's notes didn't sound too bad.

While paying for his order, a sudden gasp from the other side caught his attention. He stared at the attendant, thinking it was her, but the girl wasn't even looking at him, too concentrated on registering his payment. 

“Jisung-ah!”

His heart skipped a beat as the man emerged from the staffroom. Minho tilted his head, smiling at him.

He was wearing a pastel pink apron with green apples all over it, just like the logo outside. It looked so adorable on him.

“Minho hyung, were you here all this time? I went to see you at the company but they said it is your day off. Do you also work here?” Not a single breath in between the sentences.

Minho's smile got even wider. “So you went to see me? That's good to know.”

“I have- hm… I wanted to talk to you.” 

The older man raised his eyebrows, making Jisung speed talk again. “Nothing serious! I just thought we could spend some time together.”

That's the most straightforward Jisung has ever been in his whole life and he can't help but feel proud of himself when Minho's earlobes slowly start to get rosy.

Jisung let his eyes travel to the attendant next to Minho, who now had her arms crossed above the counter, watching them with her mouth slightly open in shock. 

Following his gaze, Minho snapped out of his daze and pulled the mask that was previously on the girl's chin until it was covering her eyes. 

“Yah! What's gotten to you today? You're so annoying!” She said as Minho took Jisung to the seats across the room.

“Isn't that abuse of power?” Jisung asked once they got a table.

“Not if she's the boss over here.”

“What? I thought she was still a teenager.”

“She is.” Minho answered. Jisung waited for him to complement with an explanation, but he didn't. 

He narrowed his eyes at Minho, making the other laugh. He wanted to pat his own shoulder at every reaction he was getting out of Minho.

“Cute.” Jisung froze. He said it to him, he wasn't imagining things. “She's my cousin and her mother rules this place. I just happen to help them when they're understaffed.”

“That's nice of you.” Jisung said, having some of his bubble tea to see if it would help cooling him down.

“Not really, I'm just here cause I'm getting paid.” Minho blinked one eye at him.

That was the worst blink someone has ever given to him and he most definitely wants to devour Minho.

They spent the rest of the afternoon like this. 

Neverending subjects until the moments in which Minho does end up having to attend to some clients, they're at his job after all, but he’s always back at their table once everyone is happy with their order.

When the time where the last client leaves the cafeteria comes, Minho gets up, stretching himself a little.

“As much as I had a great day with you, it's the closing shift now.”

Jisung gets up, thinking it would be too down bad of him to offer help in cleaning the place. He just wanted to spend more time with him, but he figured asking this would be too much. Maybe even a little bit needy of him.

“Hyung, I had a nice time.”

Minho hummed in response, seeming pleased to hear it.

“Feel free to come back any day.”

While walking away, Jisung stood still as he realised he didn't get to ask for Minho's number.

“What is it? Did you forget something?” He glanced over his shoulders, watching the man attentively. 

Jisung did consider himself to be a man of attitude, at least when he wanted to. He came here looking for some quality time with Minho and, although they weren't alone during it, they talked all day long. That's a huge step he took.

However, asking for his number, another thing Jisung wanted to do now, felt like a lot to do on the same day. He was afraid it would overwhelm Minho. Just the thought of it was surely overwhelming himself.

“No! Bye Hyung, I'll see you around.” More like ‘I’ll see you when I'm at one of your jobs again’.

God, he should actually tone it down.

Barely five steps out of the cafeteria, Jisung heard the door opening behind him. He curiously stole a glance at it just to see Minho coming after him.

“Jisung-ah, can I get your number?” He asked, offering his phone that already had the contact screen opened. 

Jisung wanted to explode in happiness.

“Sure thing!” 

He saved his own contact, stealing a look at Minho as he did so. The other had a tiny smile on his face, staring at the phone with Jisung's number on it.

“Now you'll know when I'm not to be found on JYP.”

“Ugh, can we forget it already?”

Minho didn't tease him anymore and Jisung went home after their actual farewell.

Still, even if Minho wasn't by his side now, Jisung felt like he was closer than ever. 

For the following days, they kept texting each other on every opportunity they got. Which, unexpectedly, wasn't that many – Jisung started to dedicate more of his time to his commissioned writing besides his freelance for the label, and Minho was a soon to be idol who needed to train a lot.

Still, they would always find time to send funny videos to each other. They've come to a point where Minho even showed him his cats, making Jisung go through a whole fifteen minutes trying to lure Bbama into taking a picture to send back. The pet talk was a good sign.

They were progressing at their own pace.

His past self from not even two months ago would be proud of him.

“Not even two months?” He spoke to his laundry. “Not even two months and I've been yearning that much, this can't be. Bbama, I'm doomed.”

The dog watched him, unfazed as his owner kept whining.

This time, it was beyond repair. 

Jisung did send the publication to his manager. It wasn't like anything he had done until this moment, a case as bad as Minseo's one. 

How much of a hypocrite he was, feeling so empathic and refusing to publish it the first time, but when the demand came once again, not having half the trouble to do it.

The worst part was that he was congratulated by it. 

It was his manager, from all people, yet he was praised for slandering someone else.

Han Jisung – it was written in the end notes. He had never felt this ashamed after reading his name receiving the credit over something he has done.

He had been by the comment section since the time he published the article, seeing in real time as the barely there comments slowly became filled with people.

Half of the comments were being extremely offensive to the artist Jisung talked about, bringing up topics from his appearance to the work he has been making for years of his life, defaming it, just like he did. The other half was urging Jisung to delete it, some even threatening him. Honestly, he didn't feel like he was in any place to complain about it. 

He closed the laptop, unsure of what to do when he glanced at the notification of his bank account on his screen.

Did it really pay off for ruining someone’s image for an undetermined time? 

It didn't. He knew it from the moment he decided to write it. From the moment he accepted the terms of his contract. God, he didn't even know what he was doing there.

Was he that desperate to create something others would read, even if it would harm certain people? It was never his intention.

But he did it anyway.

Before he could think too much about it, he wore his puffer jacket and his cap, grabbing his keys as he got off his place. 

He walked with no destination in mind, a mere attempt to organise his thoughts since it never felt as chaotic as it did right now. 

Jisung walked until his feet hurt, and when he thought he couldn't do this anymore, he pushed a little bit more until he was at his friends’ place.

Jeongin was home alone, but it felt like he was hosting a party for hundreds.

As someone with a severe hearing loss, the boy made use of his hearing aid so it would amplify the sounds around him. However, Jeongin never wore it when he was in a bad mood – a habit he shouldn't have. 

When he was in his feelings like this, he either didn't want to hear people talking to him or wanted to hear things in the loudest volume it could reach.

Today, it was one of those bad days for him, too.

Jisung made his way inside with his own spare key, turning the light on and off three times in a row for Jeongin to be aware of his arrival.

The younger lifted his head, offering a thumbs up before he went back to his original position, spread on the floor.

Jisung sat by the couch. The music was so loud that it hurt his ears, like the beat was tearing apart the cells inside his cochlea, but something about it was very effective in distracting him from his thoughts.

They shared a considerable amount of their time like this, no interaction needed, until Jeongin decided it was enough. 

They played together in silence, with a few occasional curses when one of them missed an enemy or ended up getting hit. 

Even in the game, Jeongin took such good care of him, giving away his own equipment when Jisung had none and healing him when he was in need.

Jisung didn't notice that there were tears rolling down his cheeks until Jeongin paused the game and placed his hearing aid in his ear canal.

“Hyung? What happened?” He asked, unsure of what to do with his hands when he got closer to Jisung.

“It's just that you're… You're such a good person and I'm emotional.”

Jeongin scratched his head. “You're crying cause I'm a good person?”

Jisung sobbed.

“Oh don't be like that. You're a good person too, Hyung.”

He wanted to tell Jeongin what he did. The boy was brutally honest all the time, so he's sure Jeongin would say everything he needed to know, even if it would break his heart a bit.

He wanted to, but didn't gather enough courage to do it.

Jeongin kept trying to comfort him without any idea on how to do it effectively, not knowing what the problem was and yet giving his best. 

Jeongin even hugged him, and they both knew Jisung would brag about it in any given opportunity from now on, but the priority was getting his friend through his breakdown at the moment.

When Jisung seemed to be calmer, Jeongin accused him of soaking his shirt in snot.

“Don't be mean to me!” Jisung said.

“I'm gonna shower, your body fluids are disgusting.”

“I think the salt is on point tho.” Jisung shrugged, making Jeongin pretend to have a gag reflection before disappearing into the bathroom. 

While Jisung contemplated if he should go home or hangout alone in Felix's room, he felt his pocket vibrating with an incoming call.

It was Minho. His hands started to shake pathetically so, anticipating he was calling because he saw the article and had now a different perception about Jisung after getting to know who made it.

Jisung didn't want the people he liked to think poorly of him, especially Minho. They had finally gotten close to each other.

He took such a long time staring at the screen that it soon became a missed call. Jisung left out all the air he had been holding as it started to burn his lungs.

No message followed after it, making him wonder what the other wanted to tell. He returned the call even if he was still scared.

“Jisungie! Are you busy? We can talk later if this isn't a good time.”

Jisung suddenly became too aware of the lump in his throat, still he felt endeared listening to the nickname. Minho was too sweet.

“We can talk, Hyung.”

“Your voice sounds deeper.”

Jisung nodded, forgetting that Minho wouldn't be able to see it. “I was sleeping, that's why.” He lied, wanting them to speak normally instead of forcing Minho to dance around his words, unsure of how to proceed if Jisung told him he just cried.

“So it really wasn't a good time.” He thought Minho would start to apologise, but instead, he chuckled. Jisung smiled at it. “Now that you're already awake, let me tell you this, I feel so sore all over and it's killing me.”

Jisung blinked his thoughts of Minho stretching himself away, it was not the right time for it but for some reason his mind kept summoning this memory.

“Was the training too hard on you?”

Minho agrede.

They kept talking for the next few hours. Enough time for Jeongin to get out of the bathroom and exchange words with Minho for the first time. Even Felix got to talk to him a little bit once he came home from his shift.

Minho didn't treat him any differently during their call and it left Jisung at peace with his mind for a little, even if he knew that Minho saying nothing about the subject meant he probably didn't know yet.

He thought about it.

The people he cared for were also caring for him, it made Jisung feel grateful, although he didn't consider himself as someone deserving of said care.

He was grateful, because he knew that if he was alone, it would be much worse. 

He ended up sleeping on the couch as it got too late for him to walk home and he didn't want to disturb his friends' sleep by creeping inside any of their rooms at that hour.

In the morning, he was awakened with the weight of two grown men crushing him to dust. 

Jisung was peeking inside the practice room again, a common sight for everyone on that floor by now.

Minho often talked about his schedule with Jisung, so it naturally stuck with him whenever he thought of seeing his friend when the training was done for the day. Pretty useful.

The trainees were starting to leave the room when a staff member leaned on the wall by Jisung's side.

“Jisung-ssi, what a pleasure to see you once again.”

At first, Jisung looked at him intensely, working his brain truly hard to see if he remembered when he had ever met him before, then, he accepted his defeat by adjusting his glasses.

“Hello! I'm sorry, I can't remember our last meeting.”

The guy grinned at him, correcting his posture as he extended his hand.

“I'm Ryeon. I'll be managing the next boy group that your friend is currently in.”

Not just any staff member, the man was almost Minho's boss.

Jisung shaked his hand.

“By the way, we haven't actually met before, I just happen to see you standing here at least once a week.” 

Jisung hummed, starting to chew on the corner of his lips as the other analysed him.

For some reason, Jisung started to feel like he was being scolded by Minho's father for courting his son. And he wasn't even courting yet!

“We don't have many opportunities to see each other outside, so I do end up coming here a lot.” He explained himself.

“I see.” Ryeon replied. “You seem like very good friends.”

“Yeah, thank you for noticing.”

Shit. 

Jisung hoped it didn't sound sarcastic. He did want to cut the conversation short, but he didn't want it to look like he was being a brat, especially if the guy was responsible for Minho's group and it could probably backfire on him. 

On the other hand, Ryeon didn't express much of a bad reaction. 

He snorted, proceeding to bow in a restrained way before he said he had to get going.

“What was that?” Minho emerged in front of him instantly as Ryeon left, causing Jisung to startle. 

“Hyung!”

“Sorry.” He said in his sugar coating voice, but that smirk creeping in didn't let Jisung be fooled by the act. 

Jisung wanted to pretend like he was mad, but he could only pay attention to how stunning Minho looked on his white hoodie and that cap of his.

He also didn't look sweaty like he usually did after practicing. Not that Jisung disliked seeing him like that.

“I wanted to come here and save you from him, but I also want to save myself, so I was waiting until he was gone.”

Jisung took a minute to process the information.

“What? Why do you need to save yourself?”

“Just cause he's my manager, nothing much.” Minho tilted his head, leaning on the wall in the same way Ryeon did minutes ago. “You're looking so defensive. Did he say something?”

“He- Not actually.” Jisung sighed, leaning close to him. “He was just saying we're good friends.”

Minho tsked, a glimmer passing by his eyes.

“I see, my friend.” Jisung blinked at it. Was he making fun of him? “Since I'm off for the day, I thought of taking you out.”

He didn't even wait for Jisung's answer as he started to walk away, he used to do it often, knowing Jisung was going to follow after him in a rush.

“Really? Where is it? How could you hide it from me!”

Minho refused to give him any answers in the name of making a successful surprise, taking it as far as asking the cab’s motorist to hide the location and keep it a secret whenever the younger asked.

As a result, Jisung kept taking guesses. 

At every street they turned, he would list every establishment he knew around the area and explain the pros about every place he thought of. Minho listened to his yap, adding a few comments here and there.

Jisung's yap was only cut short when his hair kept getting messed up because of the wind, making him complain about it and furthermore getting Minho to offer a beanie he had stocked in his bag. Jisung took it at the same time, not a single thought of giving it back.

Once they arrived, the younger was incapable of keeping his happiness to himself.

“I didn't think of an art gallery but I did think of a museum! Kind of the same concept if you think about it.”

Minho too must've been really happy, Jisung thought when he kept smiling at him. “I guess you're right.”

So they went along.

Jisung hasn't visited many art galleries in his life, everything about the experience was carrying him off his feet as soon as they got in. It was impressive to see how much creativity people held in them, how much people were able to make others feel.

He was enchanted.

Jisung and Minho walked together the entire time, looking at all the arts together, but although they were touched by every single piece, the conversation would always stray from the main course.

It was like this until the moment they decided to sit for a while, falling quiet as the tiredness they were pushing aside until now found them.

Minho rested his head on Jisung's shoulder.

Surprised by the sudden action, the younger took a look at him.

Minho had his eyes closed, and Jisung didn't dare to move. He was barely breathing, afraid it would make the other move.

A few minutes became twenty, Jisung felt tickles all over his arm, that was now numb, still he didn't want to wake Minho up. 

He took advantage of this event to inspect Minho closely, seeing how there were still some remnants of eyeshadow on his eyelids, and how his lips would get pouty when he was sleeping.

He turned his head to the other side, avoiding to look at Minho's lips more than he just did. The reaction made Minho stir awake, moving away from his shoulder.

“Oh my, I'm so sorry! That's actually embarrassing.”  Minho said, taking his cap off so he could fix his hair before wearing it again.

It's unfair how someone looks this handsome even when waking up from a nap.

“That's fine, I have a thing for cute boys sleeping on my shoulder.” When Minho's eyes went wide, Jisung stumbled over his words. “O-or whatever. I just-I mean, you looked like you could use some rest.”

Minho had no reaction at all and Jisung didn't know how to interpret it, he wanted to disappear at that instant.

They didn't talk about it as they left the art gallery, neither as Jisung insisted on taking Minho to his dormitory. 

“There's no need.” Minho said. As Jisung sulked pathetically, the oldest rolled his eyes playfully. “Let's go, Jisung-ah.”

It was an uneventful return, but Jisung was glad to extend their time together. 

When they arrived at Minho's destination, Jisung stared at him expectantly. His craving must've been too noticeable, since Minho huffed out a laugh.

“Have a good night, Jisungie.” Minho said, blinking one eye at him before he disappeared into the dormitory.

Jisung felt knots all over his stomach.

Is blinking his way of flirting? Because if it was, that would be the second time, and that's totally working on Jisung. 

He finds himself unable to turn his back to Minho's dormitory, petrified with his heart racing.

“I'm screwed.” The words came in a whisper.

“I don't know what's with that face, but you need to stop.” Jeongin told him as soon as he acknowledged Jisung.

“That's his Minho Hyung face.” Felix replied in a petty way.

“You don't get it! I need him, I feel it in my bones.”

“I don't wanna know how you want him ruined when you didn’t even hold hands romantically after all this time.”

Jisung pouted. “He slept on my shoulder romantically.”

“That's kinda a romantic gesture, yes, but the circumstances weren't.”

“Fine!” Jisung uttered, using his last resource. “He blinked at me romantically.”

Jeongin shook his head, in denial of the current argument he was witnessing. “I feel like we're overlooking the fact that he's going to be an idol and most definitely can't, like, pursue romantic interactions with you. Even more in public.”

Jisung blinked.

Right.

“Now that you said that, I wonder if that's why his dad was so curious about us.”

Ryeon wasn't just making conversation the other day.

He understood Jisung's feeling for Minho before Minho himself did, before Jisung himself could tell to what extent it was, and he was worrying for his artist already.

“You met his dad?” The blonde asked, sounding sincerely surprised with Jisung's initiative.

“Not the real one, his group's manager.”

“Oh.” His friends chanted. “Well, that's a point for you, even the manager can feel some tension in between.”

Jisung snorted, but the joy wasn't there anymore, Jeongin’s words still being digested.

He never actually stopped to think about it. 

He knew from their very first meeting that Minho was gonna be an idol, a public figure, but he never considered the implications it held.

Even if Minho actually ended up feeling just as fond as Jisung felt about him, they would not stand a chance. 

Jisung played it off when their friends noticed how quiet he got out of nowhere.

Seungmin has been staring at him incriminatingly for some time now. Jisung pretended not to notice.

He kept tossing the documents on the table, not with such a thought of doing it quickly, after all, he wasn't in a rush.

“As much as I would gladly help you out, if you actually needed, I can't help but wonder why you're here instead of your usual spot.” 

“My usual spot?” He asked rhetorically, feeling amused when Seungmin rolled his eyes at him. “I just need to check those!”

“You don't. That's why you chose to work remotely from home, a place where you won't need any of the papers in here.” The other pointed out, his disbelief getting more prominent at every word he said.

“What if I say I get inspired when seeing my coworkers?” 

Seungmin shook his head. “There, your inspiration is outside the window.”

Jisung looked at his back in confusion. Minho was waving at him from the other side.

Jisung’s first thought was that it must be how kids feel when their parents come to pick them up at school. He wasted no time in walking away from his past task, ready to hang out with Minho.

“Hey, I’d appreciate it if you could clean up the mess you did.” Seungmin said, making Jisung apologize and go back to the table so he could put the papers back together.

He felt embarrassed. Not only because Minho was watching but because Seungmin would think he had no manners. 

“Yah, did he scold you?” Was the first thing Minho said when Jisung walked his way. He had the nerve to smirk mockingly.

“Kinda of?” 

“Happens to the best of us.” 

They went to the refectory together in between talks, since now Jisung was even ditching his home cooked meals to come eat with Minho sometimes. It wasn't a sacrifice, honestly – Jisung wasn't that good of a cook and he hated to say it, but the company’s food was way better than any of his attempts in the kitchen.

“By the way, we're having a small gathering, wanna tag along?” 

Jisung feels like he has proved in many ways how much he likes to be with Minho, but being with him and many other people didn't sound much appealing. What if Minho ditched him for others and he had to be on his own around strangers, without a clue on what to do, for hours? 

As if sensing his apprehension to answer, Minho stopped chewing on his food.

“It's nothing big! There are only gonna be people you know, me, Chan, Seungmin and Hyunjin.” Seemed very particular, not bad then. “Ah! Changbin too, but he's a nice guy.”

Jisung tried to recall any Changbin he has met since he got hired, until something clicked in his brain.

“Wait, Changbin as in, the famous rapper Changbin?” Jisung asked, incapable of hiding his excitement. Minho narrowed his eyes at him.

“Look at that, suddenly you have changed your mind.” 

Jisung laughed, bumping his shoulder into Minho's. “Don't be like that.”

Minho hummed, soon dropping the act. “Yes, the famous rapper Changbin.”

“How do you even know him? He's not under JYP.”

“Well, he's close to Chan, and Chan is close to me, things just happened.” 

Jisung nodded it off as they continued to eat.

It was an odd time to get all emotional, but Jisung had always thought too much about everything.

For Minho, meeting all these important people was just a common occurrence. Once he debuted, he was going to get so much recognition, just like he deserved to, after all the effort he was putting in. 

Minho was going to become a star and be able to change his life completely, Jisung could already think of sold out stadiums all over the world showering him with love.

Jisung would be crazy if he ruined this opportunity just because he felt too much for him.

That's when he made up his mind.

Jisung had never gone to the company that early in the morning before – Minho was usually just getting started with his training at this hour, but he wasn't here for him today and that was a more likely time to find his manager, or so he had heard.

It took him an absurd amount of self-control to ignore the number three when he stepped inside the elevator, the floor where he would be able to see the sharp-eyed man. 

Instead, he pressed a different one, the eighth floor. He hasn't been there before, even after all those months.

When he got out of the elevator, it didn't take him many steps to realise that it wasn't the right floor. He could see from the tiny windows that all the rooms had variations of studio workstation desks, isolation booths, instruments, it was the floor where tracks were brought to life.

He was going to leave the place, but a specific room that had its light on, and apparently had nobody inside it, caught his attention. He has never been to a recording station ever, it wouldn't hurt to give it a closer inspection. Besides, that room was probably the only one unlocked.

Jisung opened the door, scanning quickly to check if he was actually alone before he got inside. 

He carefully took the seat in front of the workstation desk, looking at the many buttons all over it. It was easy to take a guess about some of them, but a few others got him in deep thought, wondering.

The big red button had a wolf sticker on it, he wasn't sure what that one was supposed to do, perhaps it allowed the person outside to talk with the one inside the booth, who knows. 

There was also a laptop on the field that had a paused track on display. Jisung made a mental note of the exact second the track was in before he clicked play.

But unlucky, it didn't play.

“Huh? How does it work?” He threw a glance at the speaker as if blaming it for stopping him from listening to the song.

He wanted to see some more, but the booth's door opening all of sudden made him startled. Jisung got paralysed with his hands in the air as the room was filled with another presence – actually, a presence that was already there and he didn't notice.

“Jisung-ssi? I thought it was Versachoi.” Chan said, suppressing a yawn as he stretched.

“Who's even called Versachoi?” A still paralysed Jisung talked back, trying not to give in just how his heart almost left his body.

“Ah, that's his producer name. But I have a better question.” The man crossed his arms, looking at him with expectation. Jisung made himself smaller at the chair.

“I'm not mad, it's just that you gave me the biggest jumpscare, I was sleeping when you played the song.”

So that's where the song went, it had played inside the booth where Chan was.

“Why were you sleeping there?”

“Well, no one can see me if I'm sitting there, so they won't come in and tell me to go home.” He didn't need to sound that proud as he explained his logic. “Why am I the one answering questions here?”

Jisung gasped. “You're not asking me anything!”

As Chan furrowed his eyebrows, Jisung corrected his own posture.

“I was just curious to see how things worked inside a record station. I’m sorry for waking you up.” 

Keep it simple and honest.

The producer hummed in agreement, pulling another chair for himself by Jisung's side. “No worries, man. Is there something you would like to know? I'm early today as you can see, meaning I can actually explain how those things work.” 

“I mean.” Jisung stared over all the buttons once more. “I think you'd waste your time on me if you did it, I'd forget about all their functions pretty quickly since I'm just a writer.”

“You're a lyricist? I didn't know.” 

Jisung entertained the idea.

He could see where Chan was coming from, since writers and lyricists were somehow doing the same thing, just in a different format if he thought about it.

“Not actually. I'm just a common writer, making stories and publishing articles type-of-thing.”

“Oh, that would make sense, Hyunjin did tell us you were working with Seungmin, my bad.” Jisung looked down at his hands with the mention. “If you're comfortable, I'd like to see a work of yours someday.” 

Chan almost sounded like he truly wanted to read it. How was Jisung supposed to tell him that the only finished work he has had in years was a shit article about someone Chan himself must've met before in this industry?

Jisung gulped, faking a weak smile as he got up, ready to leave. “Sure, I'll show you next time.”

As he turned his back to walk off, Chan called his name, making Jisung stop on his track to look at him.

“You can always come back if you want to know more about the work going around here. Even if it's not your field, you can always have a new hobby.” 

Jisung didn't move for a second, or two, as he processed Chan's advice. He murmured a thanks before exiting the place.

The search for his management's office took him some time. 

Jisung found out that since the day he was hired until now, he mostly only knew the places he would go with Minho. It was putting him through a hard situation now.

He was about to give up and reward himself with a sweet treat, for walking with no clear destination through the corridors, when he saw the elder walking inside a room.

That's it, Jisung thought as he followed the man, knocking on the door even if it was still open.

“Look who it is, fancy seeing you here.” The man said, but despite his kind greeting, it felt so insincere.

Jisung, on the other hand, bowed to him. “Hello, Jungsik-ssi.”

“So polite. What brings you here, Jisung? For the first time ever, I must say.” A joke, he thought.

Jisung takes a deep breath, reaching for his resignation letter inside the bag he had been carrying around. 

It was the easiest decision he had made in a while. He simply could not continue to set people up and then proceed to cry compulsively like he was the victim. Regretting his doings meant nothing if he didn't do anything to correct his mistakes.

He would start to correct them, now.

A ringtone distracted both of them, his manager lifting his point finger when he reached for the phone above his desk.

“Could you wait for a minute? It's gonna be quick.”

So Jisung waited. 

Maybe it was because of how eager he was to get out of there, but the time seemed to be stuck since the moment when he left the studio. The clock wasn’t ticking and it only served its’ goal to prolong his distress.

His body was there, but his mind was running miles away as he stared blankly at his feet, incapable of making sense of anything the elder was saying. 

It was a loud thud that brought him back to reality. He recomposed himself when he noticed the other staring at him, a troubled semblance in his face.

“Since you’re already here, there is something I wanted to ask you.”

Of course, the man wouldn’t miss an opportunity, Jisung should’ve known better.

He barely registered the way he was holding his breath when he spoke again. “I can’t do it.”

“Why not?” The elder blurted out, confused. “You don’t even know what it is yet.”

He was probably guessing Jisung just didn’t want more work to do at the moment, unaware of the fact that he came here just to resign. At the lack of an answer, he continued to speak. “I need you to write about Lee Minho, our trainee.”

And Jisung didn't know how to feel, not used to hearing that name from others that weren't in his selected group of friends. Past his initial shock, he cleared his throat, making his best effort to understand the current situation.

“I’m not sure if I’m following, what exactly would I write about him? News about his debut, or perhaps some… story of his to make the general public warm up to him already?” That wasn't Jisung's job to say good things about people.

“No, not that. Just the usual, you know the deal.” 

“What do you mean? He's JYP’s artist, why would I write badly about someone that works here?” 

Jisung’s blood was slowly starting to boil, how could they even think of backstabbing someone the company itself chose to hire?

“It's a sticky situation. Someone saw him with another man, apparently, and rumours are being spread.” As Jungsik said, he was fast to scroll through his phone and show Jisung a forum. 

A forum that had pictures of a man in a white hoodie, resting his head on someone's shoulder. Jisung gasped, he would recognise it anywhere, after all, he has been relieving that same moment in his head countless times.

It was him and Minho.

He slid off his glasses, cleaning its lenses on the shirt he was wearing so he could take a better look at the screen. The picture was a bit blurry, but anyone who paid more attention could recognise it was Minho in it. Jisung was only saved because of the poor lighting that was covering part of him, but it was still clear there was another man.

This couldn't be happening.

“But if you decide to get me to write about it, derogatorily, it is, won't it make the situation so much worse? It'll give the whole thing more attention and it's gonna blow up.” Jisung tried to reason, this turn of events wasn't sitting right with him. It was absolutely going to wreck Minho over. 

“It's gonna blow up anyway, we're just gonna make it quicker for the topic to shut down sooner.” The other huffed, finally taking a seat while rubbing off his temples. Then, he proceeded to say.

“You see, if we say nothing, rumors are gonna keep spreading. If we say something, but try to avoid their evident… Closeness, it won't do anything to stop the media from saying whatever they want. What I need you to do, is to create some gossip that is gonna redirect everyone to our narrative. People are gonna talk about it for a few weeks but it's gonna be over after a month or so.”

At the end of the speech, Jisung let out an incredulous laugh.

Minho was working his ass off, day and night, for a company that would mindlessly start to gossip about him with a shit excuse.

“Are you even listening to yourself? It doesn't make sense at all! Your only mission is to protect him from the harmful comments and not to elaborate crazy plans that are gonna most definitely help to destroy his career.”

The elder furrowed his eyebrows, probably in judgement of Jisung's tone and lack of honorifics, but as he kept analysing him, nothing was said about his behavior. 

It must've been clear just how little it would take for Jisung to snap.

“If you don't want to write it, I can't force you to, it's gonna be your name in the frontline after all, that's why we hired you.” Yes, their safe escape. “But if you're refusing it cause you think that you're gonna be helping him, you really don't have a clue about how the industry works.”

Jisung brushed it off, pushing his resignation letter closer to Jungsik, who looked at it with an unreadable expression. “I was going to give it to you before we had this conversation, but I guess my motives became even stronger now.”

“Now that's just ridiculous, you've known the deal about this job since the start, just because you're resigning it doesn't suddenly erase the things you did.”

Jisung nibbled, taking a step back. “It doesn't. But there's no way I'll keep doing this after seeing multiple times how bad the words I say can affect people's lives. I won't be participating in it anymore.”

It was a closure to this awful chapter, but it didn't feel like a closure at all.

Minho texted him at every break he had, like he would usually do. 

Jisung hasn't told him about the resignation yet. To be fair, he hasn't said a lot to anyone lately. 

After breaking his strings with that place, he saw himself forced to accept a lot of writing commissions from anyone who contacted him just to earn some money. 

As the days passed, he kept growing more and more uncomfortable with his writing, even if it was now so different from what he has done under JYP for the past months. 

Writing was once his passion, but now it felt like an incessant chore that he couldn't seem to get rid of. Forever haunted by his lack of confidence and hatred.

That's the reason why he was searching for new jobs, which was the reason why he hasn't been keeping in touch with anyone. 

Minho couldn't have known his reasons if Jisung didn't tell him, and it was clear he was making his own assumptions as the constant texts slowly started to fade away, until it was a three week streak of no contact.

“You're being an idiot.” Seungmin said, filling up Jisung's cup with their shared soju.

He, of all the people, was the one who chased Jisung down. 

It was odd since they weren't that close but Jisung wouldn't be against it since Seungmin was responsible for many of his commission clients.

“What? I was just ranting about what's happening, you know I have my reasons!” Jisung whined, drinking his alcohol in tiny amounts.

“Jisung, let's be serious. You could've found time to contact him if you really wanted to talk. The fact you didn't, even after the rumour going on, says that you're ghosting him and that you're a jerk.”

Oh, yes, the rumour. It was indeed spreading and getting worse by the time, just like Jungsik said it would. Jisung rested his head on both of his hands, struggling to keep his eyes open. 

“You even ghosted us at the gathering. He didn't say it out loud, but it was clear he was waiting for you.”

“I'm afraid he's gonna hate me for ruining his career.”

Seungmin hummed. “I'm not sure about that, but he is gonna hate you if he keeps thinking you're running away.”

Jisung wasn't.

He sure wasn't acting in a way to prove it, and he hated the thought of being the person who was messing with Minho's head by making him think he was on his own to deal with the consequences.

As he went back home, he kept thinking of the message he was going to send, asking to meet up so they could talk. He even thought of going to the cafeteria where Minho sometimes could be found, but he supposed it wasn't a good idea trying to apologise while the other was busy taking orders.

Jisung sighed, burying his hand in his jeans’ front pocket to get his keys, when someone intentionally bumped into him. It wasn't much of an impact, but the unexpected friction almost made him trip over.

He regained his posture as he looked for who did it. Minho stared back at him, eyes full of challenge and sorrow.

He was surprised, at first. They both knew where the other one lived respectively, however, visiting each other casually wasn't something they've ever done. An invisible limit they knew not to cross, Minho probably because he wanted to avoid controversies, Jisung because he was afraid of losing control over his yearning when the atmosphere gained such intimacy. 

Minho crossed his arms, apparently deeming it was enough time for Jisung to process him being in front of his house.

“Han Jisung, you're really an asshole of a nerd! You better tell me right now why you've been ignoring my texts for weeks. Is it because of the rumours? Because if that's so, I don't understand.” 

It was all Jisung needed to hear for it to feel like he never ingested a single drop of alcohol that night, his thoughts clearer than ever, but he also felt very emotional seeing the man again after such an extended period of time.

He didn't even realise the moment where the tears started to pour. Minho's look of rage started to take a new shape, much like hesitation.

“Hannie, what is it? Why are you crying? Was the bump too hard on you? Hyung’s sorry for it.” 

Even after Jisung just disappeared without further explanations, Minho looked genuinely worried for him, he was just naturally a kind person. Jisung cursed himself mentally for taking so long to reach out that the other had to make the first move.

Minho soothed him, patting his back with so much care. At some point, he asked for Jisung's permission to take him inside but the younger couldn't bring himself to actually answer, the sobbing taking all of his efforts as he just offered a nod.

That's how they ended up on the floor of Jisung's living room, with Minho still soothing him for a good amount of time. Minho's comforting touch did not leave him even when Jisung's sniffling started to cease.

They stayed that way for a while.

“Hyung, I'm done crying now.”

“Oh, okay.” Minho was always too direct when he had something to say, but even him seemed to be unsure of how to proceed after seeing someone crying so intensely.

Jisung took a deep breath, creating some distance between them so he could have a better view of Minho. 

“I'll start by saying I'm really sorry and ashamed for what I did, I didn't purposely plan to vanish like that, but I'll admit that with what's going on right now, I began to think the distance would be helping to appease the situation.”

Minho kept quiet for a minute, unchanging demeanor but Jisung knew he was actually organising his thoughts to speak it out. 

Once he was done, he hummed, a prelude to what was coming next. 

“I see your point, but I'm gonna tell you how it felt from my perspective. You became very special to me, everything was fine and then a picture of us got leaked and you suddenly wouldn't say anything. It felt like you were blaming me for it, which didn't make sense cause I'm the only one dealing with the backlash, so why would you be mad at me? I couldn't figure it out on my own so I had to come for answers.”

Jisung felt horrible. Minho thought he disappeared because he didn't like to be involved in the rumours? 

“Oh, Hyung, that's not like it at all. It’s just that,” Jisung babbled under Minho's glaze. “I'm not working for JYP anymore, I suppose you know that much, and in between the rush of accepting more commissions than ever and looking for another job I was also… Scared, if I'm being honest.”

Minho blinked slowly. “Scared they would find out it was you in the picture?”

“No, I'm not scared to be seen with you.” He said, ignoring the way he could feel his face warming up. “I was scared for you, scared I would make things worse by being close. What if they did find out it was me and the hate directed to you would get much worse? What if they would…” 

Find out how Jisung felt about Minho, and conclude the trainee was not fit to be a celebrity. That would be so unfair, Minho didn't deserve to lose everything because of Jisung's undeniable affection.

“Jisung-ah, you foolish.” Was what he said, voice getting smaller as his pain was to be spotted. “I never once thought that you being away would be for the best. It was in fact the moment I needed you the most, do you know how hard it was going through it without you? You can't just assume what you want to.” 

Jisung was at the wrong, so why was he the one who felt his heart breaking? 

Minho must've been so hurt, to need a certain someone at such a critical point in your life and get nothing but a dead end in return. 

He reached for Minho's hands, holding them dearly as he expected the other not to pull away. He didn't. Minho just stared at him, his eyes glimmering with tears Jisung knew he wouldn't allow to fall down. 

“Will you allow me to be here for you now, Min? I swear I won't be leaving you alone. Never again.” 

And Minho allowed him to stay.

They found themselves getting comfortable in each other's space in no time, curling up on the couch before they knew it. 

Jisung told him about how much he didn't feel like himself at the company, exposing his shameful articles and the fact they also wanted him to write about Minho, which got the oldest lost of words for the next few minutes, but he couldn't say he was surprised.

Minho told him more about the rumours, it seems like the situation got so bad that they even took the group's phones away, that was actually the reason why Minho had stopped texting and got on his nerves when he received the phone again just to see he was left on read for weeks. They would joke about that last part in the near future, though now Jisung felt really guilty.

They also attempted to talk about the ordinary things they've done during this time. It was relaxing to be this close to Minho, say more after weeks of being away. 

His presence was lulling, like a cat purring while cuddling with its carer.

They ended up sleeping, bodies tangled with Jisung casually being pulled by his waist every time Minho felt him rolling off. 

Jisung would never have enough of torturing himself by thinking of this, but right now, he just wanted to enjoy the clingingness.

He would, if an odd sound didn't stir him awake. 

Jisung lifted his head, his vision taking a few seconds to adjust to the darkness. Once it did, he saw Bbama close to their bodies, licking Minho's fingers as his arm was currently peeking out of the furniture.

“Bbama! Don't do that!” He yelled-whispered, causing the other man to chuckle. 

“Yah, let him be. Hi Bbama, nice to meet you in person.”

Just as quickly, they were back to sleeping.

It all felt so cozy, it was exactly why Jisung had been so afraid of crossing their unspoken boundaries. He could never back away from his feelings now that he knew how warm it felt sleeping by Minho's side.

He was in love with Minho. 

Jisung loved him so much that even seeing him with his hair up while rubbing the sleep off his eyes in the morning made Jisung's heart beat faster.

“What?” Minho asked as if feeling Jisung almost swallowing him with his eyes, from the other end of the couch.

“Was just wondering if you won't be late for your practicing.” He lied.

Minho smiled, but there was no joy to it. He cleared his throat before he could speak. “There's no practice anymore.”

Jisung showed no reaction as he tried to make sense of the words, what does it mean? He, then, brought himself closer to Minho, eyes going wider.

“Why not? Is it because of the media? Did they…” Kick Minho out? Jisung doesn't remember seeing any statement like this one, but the possibility made him shiver.

“It is because of the media, indeed. After further discussion, the directors think it's better if I leave the group. I came to you yesterday after they told me that.”

Jisung felt like being punched in the ribs. 

It was the thing he had feared the most in the past weeks. A single picture was enough to throw Minho out, like he was something dispensable and not someone who was giving his blood and tears for his debut.

Minho nibbled at his lips, staring at his own bare hands before he looked at Jisung again. “Don't go having thoughts. I'll be having a solo debut in like, two years or something, that's what they said. You just need to hold my hand now, okay? Like last night.”

He acted so strong. 

He was strong, no one could handle this situation like Minho was doing, but even if he happened to be the strongest person in the world, he was allowed to feel the loss for things he treasured. 

Jisung took Minho's hand between his own, patting it with fondness and hoping it would comfort him to some extent.

“I'll hold you hand like this whenever you need, Hyung. But you need to know that you don't have to keep a facade all the time, it's okay to show your hurt. I'll be here.”

Minho didn't say anything in return. He only squeezed Jisung's hand a little bit tighter.

Thank you, it said quietly.

“I’ll be leaving JYP.” Minho said one day.

They were at Minho's new place, since he wasn't needed in the group's dormitory anymore. 

Jisung almost spat his coffee when Minho said it. He paused the song he was listening to, one by the group Minseo was a part of.

“Hyung, do you mean it? You've been preparing for years, that's your dream!” 

Minho sighed.

“Silly, I'm not giving up on singing, I just don't think I want to do it in a place that despises me. I barely think they have real intentions of supporting my debut.” Minho reasoned, stealing a sip from Jisung's coffee. He deemed it good enough to pour some for himself on another mug. 

Minho had a valid point, but wouldn't he regret the stability the company could provide him in some aspects?

“So, what are you thinking?” He asked. 

“Hm… Something like a channel exclusively for covers? Maybe I can even show my own songs, if I get to this point in the future.” 

“I see.” Jisung said. “Are you sure about it?”

“Completely. I'm still gonna do the thing I love, just a little bit different.” Minho drank from his mug, appreciating the taste before he spoke again. “Being there would just make me sad after everything, so I'd rather leave and start over somewhere else, you know?” 

Jisung thought about his writing. Oh, he knew very well.

Nibbling at his lips, he nodded in agreement. That was for the best, he kept repeating it in his mind.

The company didn't have that much trouble letting Minho go. There was still a contract going on, however, after cornering Minho about the other guy in the picture and receiving confirmation from Minho himself that he was attracted to men, they were scared situations like that would happen again. The contract was easily broken with no charges to be made.

Jisung tried not to give it any second thoughts, as it wasn't the right time for it. His focus should be helping Minho right now.

And after seeing the way in which Minho was leading his own path, Jisung was eager to move, too.

Writing.

The first thing he has ever loved, the current thing that would often make him have the worst thoughts about himself.

Creating stories wasn't that fun anymore, not when he couldn't write a single paragraph without draining in criticism, a trial where he was the judge, and the verdict was that nothing was good enough to satisfy him.

Now, he knew it wasn't the truth, but would this feeling ever leave if he kept coming back to it, over and over again?

“I'm gonna stop writing.” Jisung said.

This time, they were cuddling while he was sitting in between Minho's thighs. The oldest stopped rubbing his belly to pause the movie they were watching, this way he could give Jisung his full attention.

“Are you sure about it?” 

“Completely.”

And no further explanation was needed. Minho would often see Jisung stress himself over the tiniest commissions. He agreed, pushing Jisung's hair out of his eyes as they went back to watching Howl's Moving Castle.

Giving something up doesn't always have to be a bad thing.

They would be alright.

Minho was now working full time at his aunt's cafeteria, while recording covers for his YouTube channel once a week. 

Jisung was with him most of the time when Minho was recording the covers he would eventually upload, but there were a few days where he was busy with his new office job. 

He didn't do anything exciting, just a lot of reading and sending professional emails all day. At first, it felt good leaving the things he was used to behind, getting to learn something new. But it was only natural that his creative soul would crave for more.

So, Jisung wasn't writing like he used to, but he wasn't not writing either.

He was making lyrics, and although it did have a storyline to tell, it felt completely different. 

With the lyrics, he could write about his feelings, raw and uncensored.

No need for perfection, as he didn't want to fall back into old habits, just sincerity.

“Jagi, what are you doing?” Minho said, making Jisung shiver. Not only because he didn't know the man had arrived, using his spare key to enter Jisung's house, but because of the affectionate name he just called him.

Jisung believes they had crossed every single boundary there was to be crossed. It made him feel butterflies all over, as much as he couldn't find better words to explain the physical reaction he would get at Minho's every doing.

Minho came too close, standing behind his chair as he threw his arms around Jisung's neck.

“Just some lyrics.” 

Minho hummed, whispering the sentences he was able to view from up there. “It looks like a love song. A very pretty one.” 

And how could Minho not know that love meant everything he represented to Jisung? The lyrics had Minho in it at every single word. 

“Do you like it? I keep being reminded of you while doing it.” 

For a minute, there was only silence. 

Jisung almost wanted to turn around and look at Minho's face, but he was afraid he would find deception on it. 

A tender kiss to his cheek was what made him snap out of it, feeling as a smile began to gain shape in the soft lips. 

It was then that Jisung understood that Minho already knew.

All the feelings he has been bottling up, all the restless nights thinking about him, the love he had been keeping to himself, Minho has always known.

And if the way Minho kept him close had a saying on this, he felt the same way. Just as much.

“Is that so? My jagi is a romantic. One would say you're in love with me.”

At the undeniable statement, so it went.

Their days fell to a slow new routine when they were away, yet, when they were together, it was like rediscovering each other from a new perspective.

Jisung couldn't have enough of when Minho would slide his glasses off during a kiss, for the sake of having a better placement. He would also see stars every time Minho introduced him as his boyfriend, never used to the way the words slipped out of his mouth like they were meant to be, from the very start.

On the weekends, when Jisung wasn't too busy snuggling with Minho, he would call Chan so they could talk about the song he was writing.

The producer had a lot of good advice to give, he has been working with this for over ten years, after all. They were always talking for hours, to the point it became impossible not to create a bond on a deeper level with each other.

The whole process until the song was ready took a considerable amount of time, but Jisung couldn't be more happy about the results. 

It may be a mean thing to think, but he felt so proud of himself when he saw his boyfriend crying for the first time since they met, listening to a song he made for him.

What he wasn't expecting, though, was when Minho asked for them to sing it together the next time he was recording for the channel. He wanted Jisung's lyrics to be the first original song he would sing in there.

“I definitely would love to! I'm just confused because of something…”

“What is it?”

“Didn't you say Changbin would cover a song with you for the next video?”

Minho placed a hand on his own hip, eyes on Jisung. “Are you sad because your idol crush won't be coming anymore? In front of your boyfriend?”

“Min! Now you're just putting words into my mouth! He's like the greatest rapper of all times, you don't get it like I do.”

Minho shook his head.

For the rest of the week, Jisung was anticipating the moment he would sing along with Minho. 

He would sing his parts in the song the whole day, from the moment he woke up until he was going to sleep. Minho would always watch it with the fondest gaze.

When the day finally came, they were sitting in front of the camera, Jisung trying not to faint as Minho introduced him.

“Hai hai everyone! I hope you all have been doing great. Today, I've brought my boyfriend with me.” Minho passed the remote to him, he liked to pretend it was a microphone. 

They had an actual microphone, but who was Jisung to take Minho's fun away.

“Hello! I'm Jisung.” He said simply, making Minho break in the biggest smile.

“The song we're gonna be singing it's called Want so Bad, we hope you enjoy it.”