Chapter Text
The Story of Us
Chapter 1
I Used To Think One Day We’d Tell The Story of Us
Mikha, Present
I didn’t realize how much I missed this. How much I craved for times like this. When everything ended, I moved away. I moved away from the chaos, and the hurt, and maybe because of a specific person and a specific situation that hurt me. No contracts were renewed, because at the end of the day, it will always be walo or wala, and the decision will always be between us, the walo.
When the news broke we won’t be renewing our contracts, I was already on a plane on my way to California, where Kuya Enzo was. My parents were with me, wanting to see my brother too, and the life he had back in Cali. Little did they know I bought a house close to his, and to my parents' surprise, they thought it was just an Airbnb for our so-called vacation. But for me, it will be my new home. Their youngest child wanting a life away from the scrutinizing spotlight she had been in for almost half her life. I knew I needed this break, this break away from everything and everyone, even my sisters, my Bini.
“Mikhs, ang senti mo naman diyan.” Sheena jokingly said as she sat beside me. “Alam kong nasa dagat tayo, pero nasa loob ng bahay yung saya, nag sisidatingan na silang lahat. Ikaw na ba yung introvert of the group? Ako yon diba?”
“We all have our introvert times, Bebe.” I smiled at her. “I still can’t believe I’m back here for your birthday. Thanks for inviting me.” Sheena relentlessly called me when she saw I was back in Manila. She’s still our bunso, and after all these years, I still can't say no to her.
“Ikaw lang naman yung inaantay namin palagi Mikhs. Kahit si Ate Ai–” Sheena was interrupted by screams towards us. I know those voices even from a mile away.
“Mekalem!” I felt a body collide with mine, and another one, and another one. To say that I didn’t miss this kind of rowdiness is an understatement.
“Guys I can’t breathe.” I was pinned down by 3 bodies on the sand. “Help me, Bebe.” I laughed as I felt them move away from me.
“Hindi na makahinga si Mikhs guys.” Sheena was pushing them away, her infectious laugh ringing in my ears. I missed her laugh.
“Hay Mikhs grabe ang pagka miss ko sayo alika nga dito.” Ate Colet said as she hugged me so tight. “Grabe walang ganunan. 1 year din yon, Mikhs.” I felt her ragged breaths on my body.
“Ate Colet are you crying?” I laughed as she hit my head with her hand.
“Hindi ako nag bibiro Mikhaela.” She seriously said as she let me go. She was smiling sadly, looking me in the eyes and examining my face. She was reading me. She always did that. Read behind my eyes. Read my mind and my soul. Her ate mode is always activated.
“I missed you too, Ate Colet.” I said as I kissed her cheek. I really did miss her. I missed all the girls. 1 year was a long time.
“Ako naman Ate Colet! Wag mo angkinin si Mikhs!” Stacey pushed away Ate Colet and hugged me with so much force, we were laying down on the sand. Everyone around us were laughing.
“Hey Staks!” I giggled as I crushed her in a bone crushing hug. She didn’t let go of my hug as I felt something wet on my shoulder. It’s either saliva or tears. I hope it’s not saliva. “Hey are you crying also?” I laughed as she pushed herself off of me.
“That was 1 year Mikha. Hindi yon fair.” She said as she wiped her tears. Her long hair was now a couple of inches shorter than her usual length. She looks more mature, but still looked beautiful. Still looked like Stacey.
I just smiled at her sheepishly as I felt the last screaming person pin my body on the sand, again. “Jhoanaaaaaa”
“Mikhaela Janna Lim, di ka na pwedeng mawala sa paningin namin kahit kelan.” She said as she cried on my shoulder. They’re really emotional, but I held my ground, not showing emotion, or crying one bit.
I prepared for this, thinking of seeing the girls in person again. I didn’t want to cry, or to look sad. The last time they saw me? Well I was a mess. A big sobbing mess, and I want to redeem back my Mikha is a strong woman persona.
“Tara na sa loob. Inaantay na tayo ng may ari ng beach house na ito. Baka lumabas yung Batanguena accent nito ng tuluyan.” Ate Colet said as we all stood up, dusting the sand off our butts and our bodies.
Sheena held on to me, looking at me with such happiness in her eyes. She was happy. Happy Sheena, happy life, right? That’s what we always say. We weren’t even complete yet, but the amount of noise and rowdiness by the 3 OA members, and the warmth of Ate Colet’s presence has been sending me back to a ton of emotions and memories. This is what I left behind. My sisters, my insanity and sanity at the same time.
“I’m happy you’re back, Mikhs. Everyone will be here. Matutuwa sila na ikaw ang surprise ko.” Shee said as she ran back to the house with the girls.
Everyone? Everyone means one thing. She’ll be here too. And surprise? They didn’t know I’d be here? Sheena Mae, what have you done?
“Mekalem!” Our ball of sunshine Ate Maloi ran to me when I came inside the beach house. She owns this property, and serves as everyone’s beach house during get togethers. I see all their photos in our Walo Group Chat.
“Ate Maloi! It’s so good to see you!” She hugged me super tight, tears evidently on my shirt. I’m trying my best to control my emotions.
“Mikhs. Grabe.” She let go of the hug but looked at me straight in the eyes, and pulled me back in a hug I graciously accepted. “I missed you so much. Thank you Lord, you're okay.” She kissed my cheek and pulled me to the couch where all the girls were seated.
“Oh Mikhs, number one rule pala in Ate Maloi’s Beach House, no phones.” Sheena said as they had all their phones in a fishbowl in the middle of the living room area. Are they for real? No phones?
They definitely saw the face I made so Jhoanna tapped my leg.
“Pagbigyan niyo naman si Mikhs, first time niya dito sa Beach House. Pwede siya mag phone today.” Jhoanna said as she sat close to me. “Na tour ka na ba ni Bebe around?”
“Yeah she did. We went around when we got here. My things are already in a room on the second floor.” I smiled at Jho. “You have a beautiful home, Ate Maloi.” I genuinely said as Ate Maloi smiled at me warmly.
“Thank you, Mikhs. This is the fruit of all the labors we labored. And this has been a wish of mine, alam niyo yan. For our get togethers and our Bible Studies. Thank you Lord we have it.”
“Very cozy, also very you, Ate Maloi.”
“Mikha mag tagalog ka nga. Para kang nung first time ka namin makilala nung auditions eh.” Stacey said, tossing a pillow to my direction. I ducked, the pillow hitting Ate Colet who was beside me as I laughed at what was happening.
“I’m sorry. I’ll get around speaking Tagalog again. I have to adjust lang, but slowly I’ll get there.” I laughed. “So who’s coming still? We’re waiting for who?” I asked them curiously, anxiety building up for their answers. I know who are coming, I just wanted to hear it from them.
“Tayo tayo lang for the next couple days.” Sheena smiled at me as I got confused. I have been away from them for too long to not get what their stares mean.
“And yung bumubusinang artista van sa labas.” Maloi said as she ran to the garage, welcoming the new guests in.
I’m a nervous mess anticipating for the new guests to come in. I need to have some water. Or maybe some Tequila.
“Hey Ate Colet, where can I get some water?” I asked Ate Colet who stood up immediately. “I’ll come with you Ate.” I stood up following her as we went to the kitchen.
“Feel at home, Mikhs. Food and water, dito lang yan lahat. Get whatever you want. If may need ka na medicine, dito yung mga supply ni Maloi.” She points the shelf to me. “May isa pang ref sa labas, para tayong sari sari store dito, nandon mga juice, gatorade, and kung ano naiisip mong inumin, meron din siya. Yung CR sinabi ni Shee sayo kung saan?” She asked me as she grabbed bottled waters for all of us. I grabbed a bag of chips, and opened the fridge to check on the drinks. I grabbed some coke, and a bottle of beer.
“Can I grab some beer too Ate Colet?” I asked respectfully, not wanting to get them uncomfortable with me drinking this early. It’s just 2 pm after all. The beer looks so inviting with this Batangas heat.
“Oo naman! Dala ka ng 4 na bote, Mikhs. Everyone is here to relax.” I did as told and followed her back to the living room.
“Mikhaaaaa!”
It was Gwen.
“Gwenny!” I said as I ran towards her and engulfed her in a tight hug. I had all the beers in my hands but I managed to give her the tightest hug that I could. I missed her. I missed them all but Gwen has a soft place in my heart.
“Mikhs you look so good! Your hair.” Gwen said as she stared at my face, she was touching my hair, and running her hands on my neck and arms, examining me. “Your eyes, Mikhs. I know those eyes.” She whispered as she hugged me again. “Grabe I was hoping I could see you soon.”
“Mamaya na yang hugs niyo, gusto ko din ng beer oy!” Jhoanna said as she grabbed the beers from my hands.
“Nako! Madaming beer sa chiller. May wine din sa chiller sa may terrace. If gusto mo Staku.” Ate Maloi said as she sat down on the couch beside Sheena.
Everyone’s sitting comfortably, grabbing snacks, grabbing some beer and chips around. The house helps came around bringing some street food freshly cooked from Ate Maloi’s backyard.
“Oh I missed this so much!” I said as I grabbed a plate full of grilled street food. There’s kwek kwek, isaw, barbecue, turon. Oh and Siomai! So much of our favorites for snacks.
“Mikha dahan dahan sa mga isaw. Ngayon ka lang ulit kakain niyan.” Ate Colet was on her ate mode, grabbing the isaw off my plate.
“Baka mag tae ka bukas, Mikhs. Di pa sanay tiyan mo.” That was Jhoanna now as they grabbed all the isaw off my plate.
“You just wanted to eat it, Jhoanna! Give me some! Hey!” I pouted as I grabbed another Isaw from the serving plate. “Just one Isaw wouldn’t hurt right?” I said as I ate the Isaw. I missed this, street food eating with the girls. We used to eat outside studios, the house in search for the best tasting isaws, siomais and especially the kwek kwek.
“Nako Mikha, yang tiyan mo baka di kayanin yan. Wala ka atang germs sa katawan the past year.” Stacey said as I shook my head laughing.
“Don’t worry I’ll live, guys. It’s just Isaw.”
“Ate Maloi, alam ko na pabili ko kayna Kuya Inggo. Hindi ako sure sa sikmura nitong si Mekalem.” Sheena said as Ate Maloi shook her head laughing.
“Speaking off, story time, Mikhs.” Ate Maloi said as I looked at her surprised. “Nako Mikha, di namin alam kung nasaan lupalop ka ng mundo ng dalawang taon. Baka gusto mo naman i share saamin.” Her tone was kind of upset, but I just shrugged it off. Valid emotions. I respect that.
“Beer ata kailangan nitong sharing ni Mikhs. Cheers muna diyan.” Stacey said as she raised her beer bottle.
“Happy birthday Bebe. Welcome back, Mikha!” Ate Colet said as we clinked our bottles and sipped our beers.
“Welcome back Mikhs. Pa welcome back kwento na.” Jhoanna winked at me as I sighed and sat comfortably in the couch. Maybe start light?
“I stayed in Cali with Kuya Enzo. I traveled a lot.” I smiled at them as they were all listening intently. “I went around the States, then around South America. Rode Cruises to go around the Bahamas.” I sighed happily. “Checked off a lot of countries from Ate Ai- Uhm” I stuttered, almost saying her name, but I continued, wishing they didn’t notice. “Checked off alot of countries on our travel list.”
They were quiet after that. Too quiet for me.
“Hoy! Violent reactions naman?” I joked as they laughed on cue. I know it was fake. I still know them. What’s up with these girls?
“So happy you travelled a lot Mikhs. I know you wanted to do that naman talaga.” That was Gwen being sincere. “But you just stayed in the States? Di ka masyadong umuuwi noh?”
“Not that much since my parents would always fly if they wanted to join me in my adventures.This was my second time coming home.” I said as I finished 2 sticks of Isaw. “Kayo naman, tell me all about your recent adventures guys. Not that I don't know what’s happening with you girls, I see all your updates in our group chat.”
“Oo nga. Parang 7 lang kami nagsasalita sa group chat na yon. Pa seen seen ka lang wala naman lang reactions.” Ate Maloi said as everyone laughed.
“Yung pinupuksa na siya ng asaran di parin nag rereact. Mali eh.” Sheena laughed as everyone followed suite with her laughing.
“But it was nice seeing all of you guys in that group chat. I loved seeing all of you guys’ updates. Stacey’s business endeavors, Gwenny’s modeling, Sheena’s dance classes. Ate Maloi’s art classes, Ate Colet and her music producing and writing moments. And of course Jho being Jho, being good at what she does.” I smiled sweetly at them. Then silence.
“A year was a long time, Mikha. We wished you were here during birthdays, as we promised we would.” That was Jhoanna who broke the silence.
“I kinda broke a lot of promises the past few years. I guess that was the final promise I had to break.” I said as I sipped on my beer, earning another silence and some sad stares from the girls. “I’m just being honest here. I know you guys are still disappointed–”
“Tama na. Wag natin simulan ang sumbatan.” Ate Colet interrupted as she felt someone would begin to speak up their mind. “It’s Sheena’s birthday, we will all be civil, and we will celebrate her. Walang ungkitan ng past, we promised, right girls?” When did Ate Colet start acting like the leader? I was really gone for a long time. The dynamics really changed.
“Kukunin ko na nga yung wine sa labas!” Stacey said as she stood up from the ground.
“Nako kunin ko na yung mga refill sa mga street food!” Ate Maloi said as she ran to the backyard.
“Play some music, Shee! Let’s get this party started!” Jhoanna said as the familiar noises of happiness filled the beach house.
–
It wasn’t even 8 pm, and I know I’m tipsy, or borderline shit faced drunk. Downing beer, tequila and some wine, I know I won’t be normal in the next couple of hours. I wanted to call it a night, but out of respect to the girls, I’d wait for them until they want to rest.
“But my room is empty! I don’t have a roommate!” I said as everyone was talking about room assignments like we were back in Bini.
“I don’t want to transfer my things in the Blue Room anymore, Mikhs.” Stacey drunkenly said as she pouted. “My bags. Mabigat.”
“You just wanted to sleep beside Jho. Fine.” I pouted as everyone chanted “Jhocey Jhocey layag!”
“Ako nalang tabi sayo Mikhs. Pero pag ikaw nag suka, alis talaga ako sa tabi mo.” Ate Colet said as she grabbed my arm, knowing it was the end of the night. “Girls, don’t forget to drink water, and Ibuprofen before sleeping. Ikutan ko kayo.” Still the Ate of the group, checking on everyone. “Ikaw Mikha, lalagyan kita ng water and medicine sa tabi ng bed ha. In case lang.”
We walked up the stairs after saying goodnight to the girls. Everyone was drunk, or tipsy, a fun night was evident, and I for sure missed these kinds of craziness with the girls.
“Goodnight Ate Colet. Thank you.” I sleepily said, laying down face first on the bed.
“Check ko lang sila. Kuhanan ko kayo ng Gatorade.”
—-
I woke up with my stomach aching. I don’t know if this is from all the alcohol I consumed this afternoon, but it doesn’t look like it. Ate Colet wasn’t beside me, I was alone in the room. That’s a good thing ‘cos my stomach feels so bad I feel like I need to throw my guts out.
It’s already my 6th time in the bathroom in the past 2 hours. I have finished the Gatorade and the bottled water on my bedside table, and I feel like Jello from dehydration. I wanted to send a message to the girls, but I didn’t want to disturb them. I don’t think they’re awake at this time too.
It’s 1 in the morning, and I know the house would be quiet. I had to grab some more gatorade, knowing my stomach wouldn’t stop any time soon. I remember Ate Colet telling me about a medicine drawer here, maybe they have medicine for my stomach too.
I walked down the stairs quietly, not wanting to wake the girls up. There was a faint light in the kitchen. That’s good this is starting to feel like a horror movie. I glanced upon the living room and it was spotless clean, like we didn’t spend our drunken afternoon there. I walked to the back kitchen, opening the fridge. Ate Maloi stocks her fridge like a sari sari store. There’s gatorade, and pocari sweat which I grabbed 2 bottles each. On the center island was a note with my name on it, and a box of Erceflora, some tummy probiotics.
“Mikhaela, makulit ka talaga sa isaw na kinain mo. Alam ko babalik ka dito para maghanap ng gamot. Drink this every 12 hours. Hindi siya masarap, warning. Ate Col.”
Ate Colet, always taking care of us. Still knows us, knows me. The tears I’ve been trying to hide since this morning just fell like waterfalls down my eyes. Since I saw Sheena in our garage, looking so happy and so sad when she hugged me tight, and how she cried on my chest telling me she missed me and “Akala ko di na kita makikita kahit kelan, Mikhs. You’re my Ate, Mikhs.” Everything’s hitting all my emotions. This is what I left. They are what I left. Them, and her.
“Mikha, is that you?”
That voice. I don’t want to look behind ‘cos it might just be a lucid dream again.
“I’m drunk, dehydrated and depressed. I’m not hearing things. Not again.” I said out loud, talking to myself. “It’s all in your head, Mikha.” I wiped my tears, and drank my medicine fast, wanting to just get up in the room. Rest and forget.
“It’s not a dream, Mikha.” The voice was louder now just a few inches away from me. I can smell her perfume, it’s faint, mixed with a different scent.
I closed my eyes wanting it to go away. I took my meds today, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, hearing things, even smelling things. I think I’m gonna have a full blown panic attack, my chest feels tight as I let out a quiet sob.
And then I felt a hand on my back, pulling me back to reality.
I looked back and I saw her.
“Ate Aiah?” I said, barely a whisper.
She was here, Ate Aiah. She’s right here in front of me. Still looking like a beauty Queen. Her hair, a different shade of brown, cut shorter than her signature flowy locks. Her eyes, looking tired, but still exuding with happiness.
“You’re not even gonna give me a hug?” She smiled hopingly as she moved closer to me.
I didn’t notice she was carrying- -
“This is Aria, Mikhs. Kakatulog lang ulit.” She smiled dearly to her daughter. “May bayad na ba ang hugs mo Mekalem?” She joked as I smiled faintly walking closer to her for a hug. More like a side tap
“I missed you Bab–”
“Please don’t call me that.” The tone of my voice was slightly higher, laced with annoyance. Her face changed as I sighed. “Please don’t call me that, ever again.” My voice and tone, a little softer now.
She looked hurt, but the way things ended between us, between Bini, it will always remind me of being hurt, and pain. I just need to give her and I space, and just be civil.
“Do you need help with your things? I can help you so you can rest. For sure you know your way around here already.” I asked as I drank from my Gatorade bottle.
“Just this suitcase. I’ll grab the other things when I put her down the bed. We usually stay in the Blue Room.”
Great. We’re even roommates. Fuck my life.
“Okay. Let’s go.” I sighed, grabbing Aiah’s suitcase.
“Hey Ba- Mikhs. I don’t know how the past year have been to you, you basically left and never updated us, until now. But for what it’s worth. I’m sorry. For hurting you.” She was sincere, and I could see the tears brimming in her eyes.
“I’m sorry that you hurt me too.” I sadly said as we made our way to the Blue Room. Ate Colet was right, we’re here for Bebe Sheena. We’ll all be civil and just enjoy the moment. Not bring up the past.
Aiah saw the unmade bed and my things around the room. “Sorry for the mess, I’ve been having a not so okay night.” I placed her luggage in the luggage rack and opened the zipper for her. “There’s another set of pillows in the closet. I’ll grab some for you while you put Aria down.”
I walked to the closet carrying the pillows and a comforter, bringing it back to Aiah. She was trying to put Aria down the bed, but unfortunately, the baby woke up, thrashing her arms and legs around.
“Maaaaa”
“Shh. Mama’s here.” Aiah hushed the baby swaying her body to and fro. I always knew Aiah would be a good mother. And to see it first hand? My heart is swelling with happiness. I am so happy for her.
I placed the pillows on their bed, a queen sized adjacent to mine, creating a barrier so the child wouldn’t roll down.
“You can put it here, Mikhs. I’ll put her by the headboard para less chances she’ll fall.” She whispered, still putting Aria back to sleep.
“Ohh that’s smart.” I whispered as she laughed softly.
I fixed my things in the room, making sure my things were out of the way. I made sure the bathroom was clean, ready for guests again.
When I came back to the room, Aria was still awake and restless. Her mom looked stressed, wanting the baby to sleep. It was already 1:30, and sleep was evident in Ate Aiah’s eyes.
“Maybe I could help?” I asked, walking closer to Ate Aiah. I’d want to sleep too, and if Aria doesn’t sleep, I don’t think I could too.
“Uhm, are you sure, Mikhs?” She looked tired, and hopeless. “I don’t know why she’s like this tonight. Maybe she got tired from the long drive.”
“Can I?” I asked Ate Aiah, holding my hands out for the baby. Ate Aiah handed her to me as I instantly cradled her into my arms. She was crying at first, but her cries slowly hushed down. Woah.
“Wow Mikhs!” Ate Aiah said, completely shocked.
“Go do whatever you need to do. I got her.” I whispered as I saw Aria calming down, looking at me intently. Maybe she was contemplating who I was or whatever, but as long as she’s not crying we’ll all be good.
“I just need to shower, Mikhs. Then I’m good na. Thank you so much.” Aiah walked to their suitcase, grabbing all the things she needed to shower. As for me, I am doing a staring contest with Aria.
Aria looks exactly like Aiah, an exact carbon copy. Her eyebrows, her eyes, that little nose, and the lips, it’s all Aiah. She’s perfect.
They never mentioned Aria in our Walo Group Chat. Maybe because anything involving Ate Aiah they respected not to tell me. Or anything involving me, shouldn’t be a topic in that space.
“Sorry I haven’t been around. But I’m your Tita.” I whispered as Aria cooed. “I know they all showered you with love, and craziness while I was away. Is that right?” Aria was answering back, cooing after I talked. She’s a yapper too. I wonder who she got it from. “Who’s your favorite Tita? If I were you I’d choose Tita Maloi. She owns this house, eh.” Aria giggled, showing off her gummy smile. Gosh this child. This child is just like her mom when we were younger, wrapping me around her fingers.
“We need to sleep, Ari. It's already late, and Mama is sleepy, and so is Tita Mikha. We need alot of energy if we’re gonna see all the Tita’s tomorrow.” I said as the child looked like she understood what I was saying. “Do you want me to sing you a song? Truthfully, I haven’t really sang in front of anyone the past year. So this will be a concert just for you okay. Don’t tell anyone.”
I just sang whatever song that came to my head, and it was a Lana Del Rey classic.
It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you, Everything I do, I tell you all the time,
Heaven is a place on earth with you, tell me all the things you wanna do,
I heard that you like the bad guys honey, is that true? It’s better than i ever even knew
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving
And baby now, you do
After singing that last line, I saw Aria peacefully sleeping in my arms. Singing always does the trick. It worked with her mom too, a couple of moons ago, when the world was too loud and chaotic for her, and the only thing that would calm her down was music, and maybe humming some familiar tunes to make her fall asleep.
“One day, when the world is not as harsh as it is, I’ll tell you all about your Mama and I’s adventures. All your Tita’s and my adventures with your Mama. One day, I’d tell the story of us, all of us.” I whispered to Aria as I kissed her forehead, letting her sleep peacefully.