Chapter Text
1.
The first thing Aaron notes about Sebastian White, upon meeting him a second time, is that he's quite the serious child, even at nine years old.
His hair's lost the full-blown red color it had, and has lightened into more of a strawberry blond, reminiscent of Rebecca, and the thought has Aaron's heart squeezing. His face is still young: all big blue eyes and ruddy cheeks, but it's not as youthful and innocent as Harry's is. No, Seb's eyes are guarded, constantly looking and observing, and his mouth is pulled taut in a straight line.
All of this to say, Aaron never thought, in his thirty-four years, he'd be intimidated by a child, but here he is.
Aaron refuses to be the first one to break eye contact – that's how you let the other person know you're intimidated by them, of course (and he's also secretly terrified if he blinks, Seb will blip out of his life as fast as he came back in it). Seb doesn't seem to be keen on breaking their stare, either, though for the life of him, Aaron can't read what's going on in those light eyes.
Is he scared, angry, or bored? At most, there has to be the tiniest spark of curiosity in his eyes, given the way they're scanning every inch of Aaron.
“Alright?” Robert asks, cutting through the moment suddenly. Aaron finally breaks eye contact, reaching over and grabbing one of Seb's bags from Robert's hands.
“Yeah,” Aaron says with a slight nod, “Just saying hello and getting acquainted.”
Seb squints at him, nose wrinkling slightly. “Ya didn't say anythin' to me,” He points out, matter-of-fact.
Aaron blinks, Robert snorts. “Right. Sorry 'bout that.” Aaron says, and the silence that stretches out between the three of them is awkward and pulled taut.
Sebastian is still just staring at Aaron, as if he doesn't know what to make of him. Aaron's sure he looks as out-of-his-depth as he feels (like a lost puppy or something), and Robert's shooting Aaron a spectacular 'what the fuck?' face. Aaron refuses to meet Robert's eyes, but he can feel his face turning redder and redder by the second under his husband's scrutiny.
Robert clears his throat, not taking his eyes off of Aaron. “Right. Seb, can ya go take your bags in? Remember where your room is?”
Seb nods, and Aaron watches as his face softens slightly, looking at his dad. It's painful to admit, but when Seb looks at Robert like he is now, Aaron can see Rebecca in his mind's eye looking the same way. Seb slides his gaze back to Aaron once again, and his mouth turns down at the corner, before his eyes flit away, and he looks down at the floor.
For a moment, Aaron's heart sinks, and then Seb looks back up at Aaron, their eyes meeting full-on, and Aaron can see the hesitation and uncertainty on Seb's face. Like he's afraid Aaron's actually displeased he's there, and Aaron feels that like a punch in the gut. He gives Seb a soft, encouraging smile, heaving one of his bags over his shoulder.
“Go 'head, we'll be right behind ya.”
Seb watches him for a moment longer, before he relaxes in increments: his face going neutral again, shoulders falling, and he nods, heading inside their new flat, and Aaron feels his heart squeeze so tight at the sight, it actually hurts.
More than six years after he had Seb the first time, and everything is so different – Liv's gone, their old flat, Seb can walk and talk and has a personality besides baby babbling and hating his nappy changed – but the pure affection sitting in Aaron's chest, just by watching Seb walk into their home is the one thing that hasn't changed.
“What was that all about?” Robert asks, though his voice is light, despite the ribbing.
Aaron shrugs one shoulder up, still looking to where Seb disappeared into their house, and shakes his head helplessly. “He's here, with us again, with me, and I-” Aaron swallows harshly, feeling the sting of unshed tears in his eyes. There's so much to say, to explain, but when he finally tears his eyes away from their home, back to Robert, there's nothing there but understanding on his face (and the tiniest bit of amusement over Aaron's awkwardness, he's sure). “It's just so much, you know?”
All traces of teasing vanish from Robert's face, and it goes so soft, it takes Aaron's breath away. Robert places one of Seb's bags on the ground and rubs a gentle hand on Aaron's cheek, scratching lightly at his beard. “I know.”
And Aaron can see it – the immediate understanding of how huge this is, to have Seb back in their lives, both of their lives, together. It's simultaneously exciting and wonderful, and scary, and petrifying at the same time. Aaron feels like he's free-falling without a destination, and it's a feeling he's not sure if he should lean into or run away from.
And then there's Robert, who's already had Seb back in his life for a while now, before he and Aaron got themselves sorted, and he just knows. Knows Aaron better than he knows himself sometimes, knows what all of this means to him, without Aaron having to divulge more.
It's a wonder how Aaron ever convinced himself in love with another man, when he had Robert waiting for him again. Aaron leans into Robert's hand, and they spend a blissful moment blanketed in this softness, so familiar and new all at once.
The moment's broken when Seb walks back from the house, feet scuffing against the ground, eyeing the pair of them curiously. He knows Robert explained to Seb how he had a husband, and Aaron's (fairly) certain nine-year-olds can't be homophobic, but there's still a small part of him that's nervous about what Sebastian thinks of it all.
Robert breaks the moment first, slowly removing his hand from Aaron's cheek, and stooping low to grab Seb's back again. “Found your room, alright?”
Sebastian nods, his eyes flickering back and forth between the two of them, before they settle on Aaron, and Aaron's not sure if he's going to get used to the seriousness of his stepson's gaze anytime soon. “You two kiss, right? Like Mums and Dads do?” Seb asks, voice betraying nothing.
That. Was not expected.
Aaron looks at Robert, who, thankfully, looks just as bewildered at the question as Aaron. Seb's still staring at Aaron, and he feels the tiniest bit flattered that Seb wants him to answer and not Robert.
“Yeah, we do.” Good, Aaron, keep it short and succinct. When there's no immediate reply or reaction from Seb, Aaron continues. “Is that a problem?”
“No,” Seb says, almost immediately.
Robert nods his head with a grin. “Right, now that that's settled, let's get ya moved in.” The pair of them takes a step forward, but Seb is still standing in his spot, dropping his eyes to the ground again, looking shy. “Something the matter, Seb?”
It's charming and quite cute, the way Seb's fair skin reddens under the gazes of Aaron and Robert, and the way his eyes dance all over the ground. “I um...I don't have to call him Dad, too, right?” Seb mumbles, voice low and unsure.
Oh.
Robert spares Aaron a glance, eyes soft and sad, before turning back to Seb, gently laying a hand on his son's shoulder. “No, not if you're not comfortable with it.”
Seb nods, though he doesn't look happy or relieved, which eases some of the pain lancing Aaron's heart. Sebastian looks at Aaron with wide, earnest blue eyes. “'M sorry.” He says, voice small and uncertain.
Aaron knew, obviously, the flood of emotions Seb must be feeling to be moving in with his father, who has custody of him again after six-and-a-half years (and stint in prison, no less) and being taken away from his great Aunt, and to live with a man who he didn't know or remember at all. He knows it must be scary and confusing and strange, and it certainly doesn't help that Aaron carries so much love and affection that he's probably wearing all over his face (always did wear his heart on his sleeve).
And the last thing Aaron ever wants Sebastian to feel is pressured.
Even if it hurts and it feels like there's a crack in his chest, knowing that Seb isn't comfortable calling him Dad.
(Not that he was under any illusions that Seb would immediately recognize him and fall into his arms and call him Daddy Aaron again. No, Aaron didn't hope for that at all.)
It's clear Seb needs time and reassurance, and stability, and Aaron's good at hiding his emotions, okay? He's good at tamping things down and storing them away and pretending that they're not there. He can do that now, and pretend that he's not in actual pain, hearing Seb not wanting to call him Dad. Aaron can do that – he can be patient and understanding and simply be there for Seb again, with no pressures or expectations being put upon a nine-year-old's shoulders.
Aaron kneels, placing his hand on Seb's other, unoccupied shoulder, and smiles warmly at him, squeezing his shoulder. “Nothin' to be sorry for,” Aaron says gently, “unless you're like your dad and ya leave your dirty clothes on the floor. Then you've got something to be sorry about. Are ya like that?”
Seb blinks once, twice, then grins shyly, and Aaron glimpses a gap between his two front teeth, and his heart melts at the sight. Like his Dad, Seb's eyes crinkle and practically disappear with his smile, and Aaron just knows he's going to be a sucker and fall victim to that smile.
“No, I clean really good. Auntie made sure of it.” And the earnestness, the eagerness in his voice to prove himself, adds another stab of affection to Aaron's heart.
Robert rolls his eyes, hefting Seb's suitcase up again. “Ya leave a shirt on the floor once, Seb, and you're considered a slob.”
“It was more than once. At least half a dozen times.” Aaron whispers to Seb with a conspiratorial wink. He straightens up and follows behind Robert as they walk down the path to their home, Seb at his side. “You're gonna have to yell at him with me to keep the home clean.”
Seb giggles at that. “Can I really yell at him?”
“Oh, ya have to. He can hardly hear in his old age.”
“Oi!” Robert exclaims, turning around so suddenly, with such an outraged look, it causes Seb to laugh harder. “Are ya really gonna let him go at your Dad like this?” Seb looks up at Aaron shyly, with a small but genuine smile on his face, and it warms Aaron from the inside out. Seb looks back at Robert and nods, grinning wider when Robert tosses his hands up in the air with an exasperated sigh. “I'm always ganged up on, everywhere I go. The world versus Robert Sugden.”
Crossing the threshold, Aaron's fine, for now, with being a team with Seb, teasing Robert, becoming closer, maybe even becoming friends. If that's all Seb wants from him, he'll be content with that, because he never thought he'd have Sebastian back. He never thought he'd have this again: Robert, looking younger and relaxed as he plays up his agitation for Seb's sake, or Sebastian, giggling and settling into their couch, already looking at home.
And this warm, soft feeling in his chest. It's enough, having Seb back in his life, in whatever capacity he can handle, it's enough. Seb's enough.