Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Expensive Promises
I pulled into her driveway tired, my skin was sunken in my eyebags. All I wanted was sleep, but she sounded desperate on the phone. I saw her standing on the front porch, smiling in the evening sky, giving a small wave. I sighed & bit my lip, this was it… I had to tell her on behalf of me & Petra. I sighed & walked up to her, which she returned a smile.
“You asked first, so I’ll let you go ahead & spill.” Hanji said waiting.
“Ok… “ My mouth was so dry, I couldn’t speak as well as I thought I could. I’ve been practicing this speech for awhile in the mirror. Hanji was such a sensitive girl, I could already hear her crying her eyes out. I felt a bad feeling in my gut when I saw her big brown eyes. I needed to tell her the truth. Besides, young highschool love isn’t supposed to last. So… What could go wrong? She was a nice sweet, a little bit annoying, but overall a positive girl. Hanji would definitely find someone.
“I wanna break up Hanj.” I started, I could already see the shock & sadness in her eyes. “It’s just, I think we should be more open to other people, so… I’m sorry. But thank you for everything you’ve gave me. I hope we can still be friends.”
She started to tear up, some of her messy chestnut & baby pink locks covering part of her face. Hanji looked at me desperate for words.
“B-But.. I can’t date other guys…” She said with a whimper in her voice.
“Oh, of course you can. You’re honestly very special. All you have to do is just let go.” I said trying to make her happy. I was bad at trying to make someone smile, but I had to cheer her up.
“No seriously! I can’t! You don’t understand!” Hanji was yelling at me now, I could already see the tears going down her cheeks.
“Hanji! Just try! I’m definitely not the best fish in the fucking sea! There’s plenty of people at Rose High.” I was yelling back at her, I was getting annoyed now. She was being over dramatic I thought.
“L-Levi…” Hanji said in a sob. “Please don’t leave me…”
“Hanj… Why can’t you just leave me be..?” I asked. I started to feel very bad. I hated it when she cried, it was like one of those stupid tragic love stories. She cried like that.
“I-I’m…” She started, she started to cry again.
“You’re…?” I helped her a bit.
“Ok…” Hanji said with a sigh. “Well… Do you remember on my birthday? When we…?” She tried to get me to pick up on what she was saying, because she didn’t want to repeat such a private event. It was the first time we had ever… Well I’ll let your dirty minds fill in the blank.
“Again Hanji, I know that must’ve felt good or whatever, but you can't just give up your ability to find other guys-”
“I’m pregnant!” She yelled at me, her was red faced & angered. Her eyes were puffy & Hanji’s hair was a mess. “God! Why can’t you just let me finish!”
I looked at her dumbfounded & at a loss of words. My face went pale as I just stared at her confused & utterly shocked. My throat was even more dry, I felt a headache coming. She looked down, her hands clenching in a fist. A sigh escaped from me.
“Hanj… Are you sure?” I asked, grabbing her hand tightly. She looked up & nodded, pulling off her glasses. “But… are you 100 percent sure?”
Hanji looked back at me with those same brown eyes, except that she was angered. She pulled her hand away from me.
“Get out.” She muttered, completely pissed off.
“But-” I tried, only to be cut off by her.
“I said get out!” Hanji yelled at me louder, she opened her front door & started to walk in. I tried to grab her but it was too late. She slammed the door shut loudly. I grabbed the knob only to be met with the loud clicking of the lock. I sighed & felt a lump in my throat as I banged on the door loudly.
“Hanji!!!” I yelled. I wasn’t even concerned for her emotions anymore. I just wanted proper answers. I was angered at the fact that she didn’t even want to talk to me about this. I started to realize what full effect this situation was going to have for the both of us.
I was still banging on the door loudly, I just wanted to comfort her. As much as I wanted to leave her for the girl I felt that I could actually give all of my love to. But… this was a bigger. It was a child. That we were going to have. I heard my phone ding. I pulled it from the back pocket of my black skinny jeans. Hanji had texted me.
‘If you keep knocking I’m going to call the cops’ It read.
I sighed & got my fingers ready to type the most distressed text message I have ever sent in my life. Except that the notification that she blocked me came right up. I was so red faced that I can feel it perfectly. It felt as if my skin was lava, & it burned with hatred.
I sighed & put my phone back in the pocket. I walked to the car solemnly, with my head to the ground. I knew I would see her tomorrow in school, so it wasn’t like my life was completely cut from her’s. Besides she was carrying my fucking child, I had to at least help her financially. I didn’t want to be like my own dad, who would do every possible thing to ignore my mom & me. I hated him so fucking much! He didn’t even care when my mom died 5 years ago. He said it was my own problem. Luckily my mom’s brother, Kenny was able to share his house with me. What I didn’t realize is that he was a pimp who brought home a prostitute every other day. My mom had worked in the business before, but nothing too drastic. I got in my car & put in the key in quietly. I started to drive out of the neighborhood.
I didn't even bother to turn on the radio, I just kept thinking about her. What was I going to do? She was only 16, & I was 18, going to college soon. This whole thing was a complete mess. I thought about just leaving Petra. Using my own normal mind, I would never do that.
She was a short tiny girl with these round amber yellow eyes, she had red hair that was cut short & pulled back. Petra was nothing like Hanji, in terms of fashion. She was one of those “Popular Pretty Girls” but she wasn’t like a brat or anything.
Hanji however, was this energetic punk gothic girl. She seemed like your everyday weirdo, until you found out that she is head deep into science & even weirder stuff like black magic. She had long nappy hair that she never took care of (except for coloring it). Hanji didn’t even bother to cut it, so it reached her chest, it was always in a half assed ponytail. She had dyed it baby pink & lavender at the ends. She was disturbed & wrote poetry, that I liked to hear her read like a crazy mental version of shakespeare.
I met her when I was a sophomore & she was a freshman. Hanji was trying to get people to join the drama club & handed me a paper. I didn’t really care much for her, until she started to talk to me regularly. She invited me to go laser tagging with her, I thought it was stupid until I saw her laughing her heart out. After that, it was pretty late & she somehow convinced me to buy frozen yogurt. I admit, I didn’t want to buy anything for her, until she kissed me under a lamppost. So that was the story of our first date & my first kiss.
I had dated her for about 3 years, & it was honestly the most fun I had ever had. She was the few people who understood me. Hanji liked to tease me for my height because she was about 4 inches taller than me. I liked spending time with her because I could finally be myself. My cranky, stubborn, pissy, punk self, & she liked me for that.
But with Petra, it was like I was a new better person. She always hugged me after class when Hanji wasn’t there. Petra made me feel like a true man, like I was the prince & she was the princess. It was a new feeling, that I simply had never got with Hanji. Because I never considered Hanji to be a women, or my girlfriend. She was my sister at heart.
I sighed & pulled into my driveway. My uncle was probably doing something stupid, so he wouldn’t be home until 3am. I sighed & crashed on the couch, thinking everything over. I thought I could just forget about her, but how can I forget the mother of my own child? Well, maybe my dad could, but I am not my dad! Never will I be him. Maybe I could just break up with Petra? No! That would be taking the easy way out. I’m in a relationship, & I don’t want to just go on to the next girl like my Uncle does. I know! I know! I did technically do that with Hanji, but I was about to dump her anyways.
So I decided to go upstairs to my room to sleep on it.