Chapter Text
Yeonjun sat down against a wall, his breathing heavy with a momentary exhaustion. They’ve just finished their dance practice and got the chance to properly catch their breaths and rest, before they went their own ways. He sipped on water, having checked that there was still time before he had to leave. His eyes meanwhile gazed around the room.
Taehyun and Huening Kai were huddled in one corner - Yeonjun could never understand where the younger members got the energy at times like this - and Beomgyu sat not far from them. He didn’t linger on them for long, it was only when Soobin got into his line of sight that he couldn’t help himself, well aware he was being unfair to both of them if Soobin caught him.
He just wanted to get closer, talk to Soobin the way they used to just a year ago. Except it was far from the same, so much that it’d be nothing but a play of pretend. They had, after all, not been just friends for so long, that Yeonjun didn’t know how to go back to it. If there ever was a way to. Could they even be called friends? Hell, he didn’t even know if Soobin wanted to, given how the younger boy didn’t initiate even smaller conversations any more than Yeonjun did, unless it was work related. Not that he could blame Soobin. He had every reason to avoid Yeonjun.
Their eyes met. It only took a few seconds for Yeonjun to avert his eyes and even that single moment was enough to remind Yeonjun of the bond they had shared. The trust, the closeness, every kiss, the-
It simply wasn’t going to be the same. So he pushed it all down the way he got used to it.
Through this, he didn’t even notice the murmurs coming from Huening Kai and Taehyun stop for at least half a minute, nor the looks they gave both him and Soobin. What he did notice was Taehyun dragging Huening Kai over to where Beomgyu sat. A trickle of amusement at the sight exchanged the feeling he got just minute ago.
He took a last gulp from the water bottle and began to gather his things. It was time for him to leave, if only to get out of doing nothing sooner. So he made his way to the door with a simple “I’ll see you guys later.” and went his own way.
←→
The warmth of another’s skin on his own was a familiar feeling. The weight of the other as Yeonjun’s hands wrapped around him was something neither would give up. A sense of contentment, happiness that didn’t need to be spoken of out loud.
“I love you.” The other whispered. As if anything louder would break the silent sanctuary they built, still it caused a smile on both of their faces.
“I love you too, bun.” Yeonjun whispered in return as well, the emotion clear in his voice.
Yes. They had loved each other. Each other the one to lean against, supporting each other through everything. It was through everything, right Yeonjun? So why had your love turned to poison so quickly?
←→
Yeonjun didn’t remember his dreams often. As rare as it’d been to remember any, these were the ones that always stayed with him, like a vine wrapped around his neck when he woke up. He always chucked it all as guilt, when he made his way into the kitchen shortly after that, for hurting his friend. They had always taken that turn after all, even if he thought he did the right thing. As if his mind wanted to remind him that he ruined a friendship with a snap of his finger, both by dating him and breaking up with him.
It had been mostly silent, the only light on being in the kitchen where quiet voices sounded from. It was quite early in the morning, so it was no surprise when he only found Taehyun sitting there, watching something on his phone. Something he didn’t even have the chance to see before Taehyun turned it off, maybe to be considerate of the fact Yeonjun joined him.
“Good morning.” Yeonjun greeted him, not dwelling on something he had no reason to. And it really didn’t matter when he got the same greeting in return as he went to make himself coffee. One that he desperately needed to survive the day after this kind of waking up.
“Hyung, have you noticed Soobin hyung has been coughing a lot recently?”
Nevermind.
Yeonjun’s mind returned to the dream that continued haunting his mind, only then making a turn to fully understand Taehyun’s words. Coughing? Could Soobin be getting sick? He shook his head. He didn’t really notice anything of the sort, so Taehyun must be imagining it.
“No. Go ask him yourself.”
He heard a thoughtful hum coming from Taehyun, so he went on with preparing the coffee, because surely that would be the end of it. There was no reason for Taehyun to bring out anything more. Except his luck seemed to have run out already.
“You’re closer to him, hyung. I figured it’d be better if you asked how he’s doing.” Taehyun said without missing a beat.
He might just become a murderer today.
He set the coffee down with perhaps a bit too much strength. How Taehyun managed to bring the one thing he shouldn’t have was far above Yeonjun’s morning ability to think and that was without mentioning Taehyun thinking the two were still close. He thought the separation was obvious enough in their personal lives. Had he been mistaken?
“I’ll ask him then.” Yeonjun relented. A simple question about the leader’s wellbeing wasn’t anything that he couldn’t ask, surely. It will only turn awkward at most. …he’ll hunt down Beomgyu and get him to do it for him. That sounded like a much better plan.
He had sipped on his coffee then, while the minutes passed them by. That meant Yeonjun’s head clearing up somewhat into workable levels and Taehyun taking a step back to return to whatever he had on his phone. A quiet peaceful morning for once that was soon shattered by the rest of the members getting up one after the another.
Yeonjun had to say it was a familiar chaos between them, one that was easy to slip into just as easily as before. Well, that much was until he’d heard the little cough that made his head snap up. Soobin. He had thought Taehyun’s words a mere imagination. How had he not noticed before?
←→
It wasn’t like Yeonjun thought completely stopped paying attention to Soobin in the last few months. Except, it seemed he did. Against moving on and trying to fit back into a friendly relationship in order for the group to work, he did. It became obvious now.
That was not to say he had to pay any more attention to Soobin that he did now, but noticing the way he seemed to start to look sick only now didn’t sit right with Yeonjun.
One time, Yeonjun was focused on his food, in order to get to his room already, when Soobin walked by in the living room. Which wasn’t any of Yeonjun’s business at any other time, not until he heard Soobin blowing his nose for the third or fought time in a few minutes.
Nevertheless, Yeonjun slipped out of the kitchen quickly.
Another time, they were in the car on their way to one of their shooting schedules, when he had once more caught Soobin coughing more than was healthily acceptable. His hands twitched in his lap. He wanted to reach over, check on Soobin, but the way he wanted to was unacceptable. He felt Taehyun’s eyes on him half the ride.
And then there was that other time-
Well the point stood. He noticed far too little and now he was pacing in his room, left to decide between talking to Soobin himself and blackmailing Beomgyu to do it for him, which still sounded like the better choice by far. If he ignored the blackmail and/or bribing.
He groaned, running a hand through his hair. He just couldn’t think properly the way he usually did. But that was only for him to know.
He slipped out of the room and over to the door of the one Beomgyu was sure to be in. He knocked on the door, but let himself in before Beomgyu even had the time to say he could. He plopped on the bed with little care.
“Hello to you too.” Beomgyu commented, with a clearly playful annoyance. His expression betrayed him after all. “Did you need anything or are you just gonna lay on my bed?”
Yeonjun shrugged, a smile playing on his own lips, until it fell at his mind’s reminder of why he came. He asked: “Is Soobin sick?”
“I don’t think so.” Beomgyu replied, turning to face Yeonjun properly and paying his whole attention to him now.
“Are you sure?” Yeonjun prodded again. Taehyun noticed. There was no Beomgyu didn’t either. “He’s been coughing a lot. Taehyun said so too.”
“And why are you asking me and not Soobin hyung?”
“We… seem to pass each other by recently.” Yeonjun lied. “And you work with him tomorrow, right?”
An amused, yet exasperated look passed on Beomgyu’s face. Yes, Yeonjun was regretting coming to him already, but he hadn’t been refused at least. “We do. And you have a phone.
“I don’t want to discuss it on the phone.” Yeonjun made up a reason on the spot. To hell with walking around it, if it wasn’t going to work with him. “Could you ask him about it?”
“What do I get out of it?” Beomgyu asked the golden question. Yeonjun didn’t expect anything else from him, when it came to something he could very well have done himself.
“I’ll get you a date with Taehyun.” Yeonjun smiled as he offered this. He was sure Beomgyu wouldn’t pass out on it, as his crush was something he hadn’t acted on yet, Yeonjun knew. A perfect offer he’d been saving up.
Beomgyu perked up. Indeed, Yeonjun had him in the palm of his hand.
←→
Beomgyu
← Looked like he might be sick
← He said it’s nothing serious
←→
“Where’s Soobin?” Yeonjun asked when he arrived into the practice room, only to find the three youngest members without their leader. He checked the time, thinking he’d perhaps read the time wrong in his hurry to get there, but it only confirmed he hadn’t. He only barely made it to still be considered on time, so Soobin’s absence was strange. Was he running late too?
For numerous seconds, the only sound in the room came from Yeonjun putting down his bag and walking towards the others, who meanwhile exchanged numerous glances between the three of them.
“I don’t know.” Huening Kai hurriedly replied, when the seconds stretched far too much to be nothing to consider. That alone was like a dam opening.
“He had a meeting.” Taehyun decided to take it upon himself to actually give a reasonable reply. Which worked well enough, until he shot a Huening Kai a frown mixed with glare. “He said he might be late.”
Yeonjun nodded, plopping down next to Beomgyu. He noticed the frown. Was it because Huening Kai forgot maybe? No matter. He’ll have to make them get up soon, if Soobin doesn't arrive in the next few minutes. Since he was the oldest or whatever, he had to act that way certainly.
“ Hyung. ” Beomgyu said, making a shiver run down Yeonjun’s spine, the tone far too sweet for it to be anything good. What the hell. “Did Soobin hyung not tell you?”
“We didn’t talk today.” Yeonjun replied, eyes narrowing when he looked at Beomgyu. What was his idiot of a friend doing this time?
“I thought you were inseparable.” Beomgyu spoke again, a smile on his face that looked as fake as it could.
Yeonjun almost choked on nothing. Inseparable? It reminded him of the conversation he had with Taehyun a few days ago. Did they think he and Soobin were still close? No. It was too obvious for that.
“But you did ask me to ask him if he’s sick, so I guess you’re not.” Beomgyu added, as if his goal was to stab Yeonjun’s heart. Was he seriously acting this way, out of nowhere? What even for? He had to be imagining it. Beomgyu spoke so casually, he was just reading into it too much.
“Hyung, I thought you said you’d ask him.” Taehyun interrupted them. There was no accusation as far as Yeonjun could tell. Not in his tone, nor on his face when Yeonjun looked at him. A cursed week, he decided.
“Beomgyu was going to see him sooner than me. It was quicker.” Yeonjun answered, excuse he told Beomgyu already. They should be practicing, not having an interrogation session.
Where was Soobin? He looked to the door with worry.
“Of course, hyung. That sounds right.” Huening Kai chimed in, a fresh air to the tense moment. Yeonjun was glad for him, so much, at that single moment.
He settled on looking at his phone for now, in case they’d be texted any info, from Soobin himself or by a staff member. He noted the lack of message about the meeting Taehyun mentioned in their group chat, confirming that it wasn’t him who just didn’t notice the message. Well, that just meant it wasn’t important for all of them, right?
That was until a staff member walked inside the room, followed by the choreographer. Yeonjun frowned. Soobin was still nowhere to be seen. This wasn’t ideal at all. He stayed silent as they looked over them, to make sure everyone was present.
As if that was really needed, if we’re only five.
“Let’s start the practice.” They announced. Yeonjun’s bad feeling worsened. They certainly didn’t pay any mind to the obvious issue there, much to his dismay.
“Soobin still didn’t arrive.” He spoke, once it became clear no one else would speak up. Did none of them care where Soobin was? That was simply ridiculous thought and yet it was the obvious answer.
The staff member, who Yeonjun remembered seeing around but not one directly working with them. She cleared her throat, stepping in front of them. “As you might be aware, we had a meeting with Soobin-ssi today. We have agreed that he will stay on hiatus until the end of the year, in order to recover.”