Chapter Text
Family was forged, Jupiter knew that.
But as he watched Morrigan march out of the smoking parlor, he was having trouble believing it.
Morrigan's words echoed in his head.
"A real family."
He must have sat there for five minutes before there was a hesitant knock on the door.
"Captain North?" Came Kegeree's voice.
Right.
Jupiter peeled himself out of his chair and crossed the parlor in only a few strides. Just before the door, he stopped and turned to the wall.
He and the Deucalion were in perfect sync. As soon as the thought entered his mind, the wall next to him flipped over into a mirror.
Usually, when people said they were ‘bottling up their feelings’, they meant it as a metaphor, but Jupiter had figured out how to do the real thing. Over late nights spent worrying what would happen when he suddenly wasn’t Wunsoc’s golden child anymore, nights grieving his sister, and nights struggling through all the different things that plagued his picture perfect life, he had learned how to trick his sight.
In a swift, practiced gesture he gathered up the melancholy blue swarming his body until it sat perfectly in his hand, then he mimed stuffing it in a bottle and corking it. He did the same with the simmering, red hot anger that had appeared underneath it.
The bottles weren’t real, and the emotions were still there, but for a fleeting second, his body was devoid of any signs that something was wrong, and he could fit a believable smile on his face. In that moment, he could have fooled even himself.
He looked away before the signs could return.
After a deep breath, he swung open the door.
"Apologies for the interruption, everybody." He said smoothly to the gathered guests, "Just a bit of Wunsoc business that needed taking care of. Everybody who was inconvenienced can treat themselves to a free drink at the Golden Lantern to thank you for your patience." He waved a hand over the wall and a ticket dispenser appeared.
There was a murmur amongst the guests, but they seemed to think that a good enough exchange, as they filed back into the Smoking Parlor, taking a free drink ticket with them.
Relieved, Jupiter let the act drop slightly and leaned over to Kedgeree. "I'm not feeling well. I'll be in my study. Don't disturb me." He didn't even bother to add 'unless it's an emergency'.
Before Kedgeree could protest or ask any questions, Jupiter swept down the hall, the lights flickering ominously in his wake.
---
Hours later, Jupiter was still laying face down in his favorite rug. The sounds of the hotel filled every inch of the room, brought to him by the magic of the Deucalion herself. She picked up the sounds of footsteps in the halls, the clinking of cups in the bar, the unintelligible chattering of the guests, everything that made her feel alive. Everything that always seemed to comfort Jupiter.
He supposed it was working. He hadn't burst into tears yet.
He had, however, sent away three separate 'get well soon' parties. First came Kedgeree, reminding him of the staff dinner, then Martha and Charlie (together of course), even Frank had given it a go. But the Deucalion held his door shut tightly, and he refused to tell her to stop.
He didn't want to see anybody. That was the point of moping around in his locked study instead of somewhere discoverable.
He was quite content to stay there for the whole evening, and well into the morning, when the fourth knock rang through the room.
"Jove? Open up." Dame Chanda's melodic voice bounced around the room.
Jupiter remained where he was. "What part of 'I'm unwell' do these people not understand." He muttered through a mouthful of rug.
Instead of leaving, like the others, Chanda's knocking only increased in volume. "Jove, I know you're not actually sick." She yelled, loud enough that he could hear her voice from the magic of the room, but through the door. "If you don't open this door, I'm going to have Fenestra hide dead geese all over your room for the next WEEK!"
She sure was persistent.
Jupiter waved a hand and the door unlocked itself without him having to get up.
His friend's heels clicked on the wooden floor but Jupiter didn't look up.
"What happened?" Her demanding demeanour dropped instantly, her voice soft with concern.
"I'm unwell." He parrotted the same excuse he had been all evening. "Headache."
"I don't know how you manage to lie so effortlessly sometimes, darling." She huffed, "And also be so bad at it." She reached down and grabbed his arm, flipping him onto his back.
He stared up at her, searching through the cloud of worry. The candle of kindness in her sternum had become a blaze, a righteous anger. Of course she was the one willing to break down his door. A locked door didn't stand a chance against a wildfire.
She stared down at him with an equally searching look, and a clear determination not to leave the room until he had spilled all his secrets.
Jupiter sighed and pulled himself into a sitting position. Chanda sat down opposite him.
"Morrigan's mad at me. I lied. Well, kept something from her. Something big." He began, resisting the urge to add 'again' to the end of his sentence. "She has family in the Silver District. Her mother was Meredith Darling."
Chanda gasped.
"Mhm." He ran his hand over his face, "But the thing is, they wanted nothing to do with her until now." Flint struck steel in his heart and he jumped to his feet, a righteous anger of his own beginning to blaze. He strode over to his desk and pulled out the stack of letters from Lady Darling. "I tried for years to get them to pay her a SHERD of attention. And they want her now ?" He threw the letters to the ground, and with them the carefully corked bottle labeled ‘anger’, Chanda picked one up, eyes darting over Lady Darling's handwriting.
"But they didn’t want her. They wouldn't even help me get her out of the Republic! No matter how much I BEGGED!" He slammed his hands down on the desk, "I had to commit treason . I had to risk everything to bring her here. And now that the hard part's over, suddenly they want to meet her." He scoffed, bitterness like bile in his throat.
Chanda glanced up at him over the top of one of the letters. "I don’t understand. If they didn’t want her until now, why is she mad at you ?”
Jupiter paused. He tapped his fingers on the wood of his desk, he relished in the couple moments of silence before his friend prompted him again.
“Jove?”
“What was I going to tell her?” Jupiter threw up his hands in exasperation, “That she had another family that wanted nothing to do with her?! It would have crushed her.”
“Thinking that you lied to her is less crushing? Jove, Morrigan loves you. Now-"
“She doesn’t!” The words burst out of Jupiter before she could stop them. Burning hot tears bubbled up in his eyes again. “She doesn’t…” He collapsed back into his chair, trying to stuff his feelings back into their bottles. The one labeled ‘grief’ had started to slip out of his hand. Chanda didn’t need to know what she said. He couldn’t burden her with that. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter.”
But Chanda had never taken ‘It doesn’t matter’ for an answer. In all their years of knowing each other, Jupiter had become steadily convinced that she liked having his burdens thrust upon her.
She stood up slowly, abandoning the letters that were now scattered on the office floor. “Jove.” She said, almost warningly. “What happened?”
And in that moment, looking into her eyes, he dropped the bottle and let it smash on the ground. With it came the tears and the shaking sobs he had been so desperate to keep inside.
“She said we’re not her real family.” He choked out. “Me, you, Jack, everybody. And she meant it, Chanda.”
Chanda tried to pull him in for a hug, “There’s no way she actually meant that.”
Jupiter put a hand on her shoulder to stop her, eyes serious. “I saw it. If she was lying, I would know. I’d see the black smudge on her face and I’m telling you there was nothing.”
Chanda stared at him. He could see a soft blue threatening to push its way to the surface.
Great, now he’d made her upset. He never should have told her.
“Come here.” She said softly, and this time he allowed her to pull him into a tight hug.
They stayed in that perfect silence for a few minutes, before Jupiter pulled away.
“You can’t tell the others.” He whispered, “I-I’ll fix this. They don’t need to know.”
Chanda nodded solemnly. “I swear. Brothers and sisters.”
“Loyal for life.” Jupiter finished, trying and failing to dry his eyes.
She exhaled sharply, “I’m going to go back. Tell everybody you’re okay.” She stood up and smoothed out her dress. “I assume you aren’t coming?”
“No.” He sniffed, hiding his face in his hands again. “I need to think.”
“Alright. But I’m sending a plate down for you. And if you don’t eat it, well.” She drew herself up, “I might just get Fenestra to geese in your room anyway.”
Jupiter managed a soft laugh. “Okay. I promise.”
She gave him one last smile. “I’m sure she won’t mean it forever, Jove.” She paused for a moment, “I’m sure of it.”
He didn’t respond.
I wish I could believe you.