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Chapter Text

The weather outside the nursery was bright and sunny, Brindlekit and Frostkit were ushered outside for some sun by their mother Robinwing. Brindlekit looked up at the blue sky– not a single cloud was visible. The sun’s rays filtered through camp and all around the clearing warriors laid taking in its warmth and sharing tongues.

A moss ball hit her on the head.

“Hey!”

“Well pay attention dandelion-brain,” Frostkit meowed. “Throw it back to me.”

Brindlekit tossed the little ball of loose moss, bundled up into a ball that Fuzzypelt made for them. Most likely to keep them entertained while he and Robinwing rested near the warriors den, savoring the moments of peace and quiet. 

“I’m going to miss Whitekit not sleeping in our nest anymore,” Frostkit said. 

Brindlekit nodded, “Me too but he seems much happier now.” The moss ball was once again passed to her and she smacked it with her paw back to her sister. “So does Bluefur.”

Frostkit held the moss ball between her paws,“Bluefur is so strong to get back on her paws and care for her sister’s kit. I’d be wailing for moons if I lost you.” She suddenly ran to Brindlekit’s side and pressed her soft fur into hers. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Brindlekit purred and nuzzled her, “I won’t go anywhere without you Frostkit, we’ll do everything together– and we’ll always be there to protect one another so nothing bad can ever happen to us.”

Frostkit nodded in agreement.

As they sat bundled together Tigerkit and Whitekit ran past them, chasing one another in a game of ‘intruder’. Where one pretends to be an intruder on ThunderClan territory and the others as a warrior patrol find and chase them away. Brindlekit huffed, she wished they could play with the older kits but Robinwing told them they needed to be older to join the games Tigerkit and Whitekit played.

“I’ve been thinking,” Frostkit murmured.

Brindlekit flicked her ears, “About what?”

“Even when Snowfur was alive, Bluefur was always in the nursery visiting her and Whitekit. Would you do that for me?” Frostkit turned to her.

Brindlekit purred. “Of course Frostkit. I’d clean out your nest and bring you prey and play with your kits everyday! So long as you promise to do the same for me.”

“What if we both had kits at the same time?” Frostkit pondered. “Then we could take care of each other and our kits would be the best of friends!”

Brindlekit nodded and gave her sister an affectionate shove. “That would be the greatest.”

*

*

*

After six moons, Brindlepaw was finally made an apprentice. Those six moons felt like a life-time, and now she felt like she could take on the entire world. Sunstar gave her Stormtail, a senior warrior, to be her mentor. And he was… an alright mentor. He had a lot to teach and was patient with teaching her, but she never felt close to him the way Frostpaw was with Bluefur or even Tigerpaw was to Thistleclaw. When she mentioned this to Whitepaw he told her that he enjoyed being Patchpelt’s apprentice. Learning and soaking in his knowledge but that was all he was to him. Just a warrior teaching him, perhaps they were too different. Brindlepaw felt that way with Stormtail, he did his duty in mentoring her, but she never bonded with him. 

Of all the things she was taught, Brindlepaw found she enjoyed hunting the best. She loved the feel of soft grass and leaves beneath her paws as she walked, and the smell of the earth mixed with the scent of prey. What she loved most however was the thrill of catching the scent of prey and stalking forth, readying herself to pounce. Then leaping off her haunches and digging her claws into her prey. Stormtail would purr and tell her parents that she killed her prey neatly and cleanly everytime. Not all catches were successful, but there was always the chance to try again.

“Of course I enjoy defending my clan, without ThunderClan’s fighting skills we would be overrun by the other Clans and foxes and badgers,” Brindlepaw said to her denmates while eating a squirrel. “But I love hunting, I love feeding the clan. Think about it, we don’t fight everyday but we must hunt everyday for the clan to survive. Even if we never fought again, we would always need prey to eat.”

Whitepaw who was sharing a finch with Tigerpaw nodded, “I guess that’s true.”

Tigerpaw sniffed, “I prefer honing my battle skills and learning strategies for defending and attacking. I’ll make sure every cat that threatens ThunderClan knows I’ll flay their pelts!”

“Can’t do that on an empty belly” Brindlepaw taunted. “Admit it, hunting is the best skill to have.”

“As if. What’s hunting going to do when a patrol of ShadowClan cats stalks into our camp? Or a RiverClan ambush at sunningrocks? If we lose a fight like that then we lose a hunting ground,” Tigerpaw fought back.

“Bluefur says the best warrior can hunt in the harshest weather and fight the strongest opponent” Frostpaw said and Whitepaw nodded, “Which is why both skills are needed to be a warrior.”

Brindlepaw took another bite of her prey, “What’s your favorite thing to do for the Clan Frostpaw?”

She looked up from the leftover bones of her meal and ran her tongue over her lips, “I like cleaning out the Nursery.”

All three apprentices were quiet.

“You’ve got to be the only cat in ThunderClan who likes that,” Tigerpaw mumbled, ignoring the annoyed look Frostpaw shot at him. Brindlepaw and Whitepaw stifled their laughter.

As her apprenticeship neared its end Brindlepaw began to understand why she preferred honing her skills at hunting. She wanted to be useful as any warrior should be to their Clan. But her use was not at fighting. Stormtail trained her well for defense and offense, enough to beat Frostpaw in a sparring match a few times. She even once tied with Whitepaw. But she was never the best at it. Especially against Tigerpaw, when it came to him she always lost. Frostpaw and Whitepaw had managed to beat him a couple of times, but she didn't.

Robinwing comforted her when she spoke to her about it, “My dear, every cat in ThunderClan is different from one another and that is what makes us strong. Some defend our borders, to keep out cats and badgers and foxes that would harm us. While others hunt in the best and worst weather to keep our warriors strong, and our kits and queens healthy, so we can continue to live and grow. There are few who can truly excel at both.”

Brindlepaw pressed into her warm brown fur and breathed her comforting scent. “Your father is an excellent hunter, I bet you get your love and skill for the hunt from him. You act like you can’t fight at all. That is not true, Stormtail spoke to us since you're nearing the end of your apprenticeship and he said you do well in battle training. You hold your own and use your size and speed to get the advantage. That is all you need in battle, you will always have your clanmates around to aid you should you need it.”

Robinwing licked the top of her head, “When you are a warrior, I know that you will be the best that you can be.” 

*

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*

Sunstar called for a warrior ceremony one moon after her talk with Robinwing. It took all of Brindlepaw's willpower to hold down her excitement as Sunstar gave her and her sister their warrior names, ushering in their new dawn as warriors of ThunderClan. 

“Brindleface! Frostfur! Brindleface! Frostfur!”

She relished the cheers from her Clanmates. Robinwing and Fuzzypelt were among the loudest voices calling their new names. Beside them sat Stormtail and Bluefur. Father and daughter looked so similar with their chests puffed out in pride. 

That night Brindleface and Frostfur sat their vigil. They remained silent and thoughtful as the night wore on. 

She knew she would be exhausted tomorrow after sitting vigil, but the next day after that, and every day after, she would do her duties as a warrior. She would be the best at it, and continue to learn from the senior warriors. Then one day she would pass that knowledge down to the younger cats.

Brindleface lifted her gaze to the sky, the endless stars above her shone in the darkness. Every single one was once a warrior. Now they looked down on her. Did they wonder what her future would bring? Or did StarClan have her future carved out already? 

She could not wait to start. 

Days turned to weeks and then moons. Brindleface fell into the usual warrior routine as the seasons changed. She patrolled the borders of her Clan, hunted with her clanmates, and fought against the other Clans when they pushed ThunderClan’s borders. Under Sunstar’s leadership, ThunderClan was strong yet honorable. They obeyed the warrior code but would not let the other Clans order and push them around. 

In her free time, she and Frostfur found themselves their friend group. It consisted of Whitestorm, Tigerclaw, Lionheart and Goldenflower. They trained together when they could and shared-tongues at sunhigh. Brindleface was proud of the warrior she was becoming. She did her best to be reliable and available to any patrol or task asked of her.

“Brindleface can you take Rosetail’s spot on the dawn patrol tomorrow?” 

“Sure Bluefur, I’d be happy to take her place.”

“Hey Brindleface! White-eye needed a break to stretch her legs from being in the nursery. Can you watch Runningkit and Mousekit?”

“Of course Speckletail. I’m always happy to entertain the kits.” 

She made sure that no one could ever say she wasn’t a good warrior. 

On one dull gray afternoon in leaf-bare, Brindleface shared her prey with Dappletail and Poppydawn. The three she-cats gossiped while they ate and came upon the topic of mates. 

“I feel we need some new young love,” Poppydawn had said. “Swiftbreeze’s second litter is all grown up now, White-eye’s two trouble makers are apprentices, and there are no new kits in the clan now. I miss having my tail battered when I leave my den.”

Dappletail lowered her voice, “Yes and it is such a tragedy Bluefur’s kits were taken by that fox .” She spat the word. “I doubt she’ll be having another litter anytime soon. If at all.”

Brindleface felt a pang in her chest. Leaf-bare was always dreaded by all cats, sickness and death always followed the cold season. This leaf-bare was particularly bad. The cold and snow drove any prey into their burrows and patrols would search all day only to bring home a few measly mice. No one could have imagined that even a fox would be so hungry as to claw a hole into the nursery in the dead of night and steal kits. She remembered the howls and sobs from Bluefur as the clan put themselves together to search for the missing kits. Brindleface had joined Frostfur and Whitestorm on multiple patrols and for each one, they came back empty-pawed.

She always admired Bluefur. A she-cat who lost so much but continued to love and fight for the clan. She was deputy of ThunderClan now, Tawnyspots had retired from an illness that affected him for a long time. 

She realized Dappletail and Poppydawn were still chatting and she had missed part of their conversation.

“Swiftbreeze has been telling me young Willowpelt has eyes for Whitestorm” Poppydawn purred. “But the poor thing is too shy to do anything, and he has no idea.”

“Tragic, it’s Thrushpelt and Bluefur all over again. Well, it worked out between them, perhaps it will be the same. We can always help if need be.”

Poppydawn shook her head, “Swiftbreeze was very adamant we are not to intervene, Adderfang too wanted to help her and Swiftbreeze swatted him. I will not incur her wrath.”

“Well I could interest you in another potential pairing,” Brindleface said.

Both she-cats turned to her, “Do tell.”

She leaned closer to them, “Frostfur told me she thinks Lionheart is the most handsome cat in the Clan. I didn’t think much of it, because he is. But lately he has been inviting her on walks, and they come back purring and nuzzling each other.”

She paused for the dramatics, “And just the other day, there were some beautiful blue flowers left on Frostfur’s nest. When I asked her about them, she said Lionheart had given them to her, and she adorned her nest with them.”

Poppydawn gave a delighted purr, “Can you imagine Lionheart in a patch of flowers picking the best looking ones?” 

Dappletail gave a mrrow of laughter, “Oh that would be a sight. But clearly, we do have a new pair of lovebirds. How long before they combine nests?”

Brindleface spoke first, “I say beginning of newleaf.”

“So soon?” Dappletail meowed, a little astonished. “I’d say the end of newleaf or beginning of greenleaf.” 

“Care to make a bet?”

Dappletail’s eyes glinted and she grinned, “Sure. Loser takes the winner’s dawn patrols for a whole week.”

“I would say a whole moon but that’s too long and I would feel bad watching you be tired for a moon,” Brindleface teased.

“Confident aren’t you,” Poppydawn laughed.

“Let’s see if that confidence is right,” Dappletail challenged.

Brindleface’s confidence was correct. Frostfur moved her nest and combined it with Lionheart’s the day after all the snow melted from the clearing. She glanced at the warriors in the den who watched her and held her chin high. 

Dappletail took her dawn patrols for a week, but she assured Brindleface that she wasn’t even mad.

*

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*

Seasons passed but clan life stayed the same. Kits were born, they became apprentices and grew into warriors. Warriors lived and warriors died. The current leaf-bare had been very harsh. Worse than the previous ones Brindleface experienced. Its cold brought cases of whitecough and greencough that began to sweep throughout the Clan. The young and old, the weak and strong, no one was spared from it.

Brindleface had caught a running nose and sore throat. Spottedleaf the medicine cat, insisted she stay in her den for treatment. She told Brindleface that it was just a cold, but it could turn into whitecough and even greencough if she did not take the medicine given to her. Brindleface hated every second of it. Lying in her nest with the stench of sickness from the other infected cats around her, gazing out of the den entrance wistfully. Being sick meant that she could not be by her sister’s side while she laid in the nursery, expecting kits.

Brindleface had been just as excited as Frostfur when she learned she was expecting kits. She congratulated her sister thoroughly and had asked her about moving into the nursery now or later. Frostfur discussed it with Lionheart, and Brindleface still purred when she thought back to him leaping around like a kit at the news that he would be a father. With the snow and cold, Frostfur had decided she would move into the nursery early to lower the risk of catching a cold. 

But now that Brindleface was sick, even with just a small cold, she could not visit her sister and risk passing any sickness onto the other queens and kits. Robinwing assured her that she would be at Frostfur’s side helping her through the pregnancy. She had given birth to Brindleface and Frostfur’s younger brothers, Dustkit and Ravenkit. There were also plenty of queens in the nursery helping one another with their kits who would care and support her. Goldenflower, like Frostfur, had her own first litter of two newborn kits. Willowpelt had given birth to a single son, although it was her second litter, and Speckletail lived in the Nursery permanently, aiding queens with her kits.

But none of them were her. She wanted to be by Frostfur’s side, gathering her moss and soft nesting, bringing her water and every piece of prey she wanted. Lionheart however was already doing all of that. He was so devoted to his mate and everyday told anyone who would listen how Frostfur was doing.

Brindleface envied her sister who had such a loving mate. She envied her for the kits she would have, for the care and love she was receiving from the other queens and the clan. 

But mostly she envied Frostfur for having what she wanted. Kits.

Brindleface laid her head on her paws, lately she had begun to wish for kits of her own. Even before Frostfur announced she was expecting. She wanted to have tiny furballs at her belly, to look at their faces and see her own, to raise and teach them of the clan before their apprenticeship. She wanted to see kits she had birthed grow into warriors, experience life and perhaps one day have kits of their own.  

But right now, that would not happen. She had no mate and there were very few eligible toms in the clan right now. None had ever caught her eye and clearly, she had not caught any cat's eye either. She wasn’t sure she could love a tom, even if he loved her. When the other she-cats spoke of love and crushes on toms, Brindleface found that she could not understand it. She would rather be friends with them, to joke and lean on, rather than hide behind her whiskers and wonder if he loved her back. She supposed love was a different form of friendship. That when being friends was so strong, it became something else. 

She doubted that she could ever find herself a mate within the clan. 

She didn’t need a mate to have kits though. 

There were plenty of queens that had kits without naming a father. Afterall a queen did not need to give the name of a father if asked. Bluestar upheld that strongly, and Brindleface admired her more for it.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she was startled when a shape moved near her, and she realized a new cat had laid down in the nest near hers. She turned her head to see Darkstripe curling up in the nest and he let out a raspy cough. Spottedleaf padded in after him and laid some herbs at his paws, “Go ahead and eat those, let's get that cough cured before it grows.”

He obeyed and lapped them up, grimacing at their taste.

“Awful aren’t they?” Brindleface meowed, laying her head on her paws.

He turned his head to her, “Always. You’d think something meant to cure you would taste better.”

“You’d think. When did you start coughing?”

“Ah this morning. Woke up with it but I thought I swallowed a feather or something. It continued throughout the day and my throat started hurting more. Redtail sent me back when I had a coughing fit that scared off a sparrow Mousefur was hunting.”

“I bet Mousefur was mad.”

“It’s not like I meant to, she acted like I did it to spite her,” Darkstripe rolled over to face her.

She asked him a few more questions about the weather outside and state of the territory until she noticed Darkstripe was struggling to keep his eyes open, whatever herbs Spottedleaf gave him were acting fast, and she quieted herself to let him sleep. She closed her eyes as well and rested. When she opened her eyes again she looked back to the den entrance and saw that it was dark outside. 

Spottedleaf and Redtail entered from the darkness with prey in their jaws, “Here, Tigerclaw’s patrol was successful this afternoon.” She laid a vole for Brindleface and brought a mouse to her father Fuzzypelt, who also resided in the den, much sicker than her. Spottedleaf tended to him, then to Lynxkit, one of Goldenflower’s kits sick with a particularly bad case of greencough. 

“How are you?” Redtail asked, laying a mouse at the edge of Darkstripe’s nest. He must have woken up before her. “Is that cough bad?”

“It’s like a hairball stuck in my throat, but a little more painful.” Darkstripe took a bite from the mouse. He sounded more raspy than before. “I’ll be fine. I want to get back to my duties. I promised Longpaw I would show him some climbing tricks on the great sycamore.”

Redtail nodded, “I can take him out for you.”

Brindleface focused on her vole, devouring it in a few bites and the feeling of prey in her belly made her feel warm and content. She curled herself up tight and hoped she would be rid of her sickness soon.

*

*

*

Brindleface thought every previous leaf-bare was the worst she had ever experienced. But now she knew none of them compared to this one. She had recovered quickly from her cold and Darkstripe followed soon after, but many of the cats infected with greencough did not survive. Lynxkit was the first, the poor little she-kit was not old enough nor strong enough to fight off the sickness. Then it took her father Fuzzypelt. When Robinwing snuck into the medicine den to spend some moments with her dying mate, she too became sick. It took her life quickly. 

It was bad enough to lose one parent, but two within days of one another shattered Brindleface’s heart. At their mother’s vigil Brindleface let Frostfur press against her, leaning on one another like they were the only ones holding each other up. 

Perhaps they were. 

They had exhausted their tears and cries, now they could only sit in silence staring at Robinwing’s brown fur. Once smooth and glossy, now dull and lifeless. Her brothers Ravenkit and Dustkit sat at the vigil for a little while before Goldenflower led them back to the nursery. At the loss of her kit, she offered to care for the two older kits now without a mother. She made extra room in her nest for them and her last remaining kit. 

Frostfur’s face was pressed into Brindleface’s flank, “I wanted her to be there when I had my kits.” She whispered. “I wanted her and Fuzzypelt to see their kin.”

Brindleface nodded and shut her eyes, Oh StarClan, I wish this dreadful season to be over.

The following days she felt like she was in a fog, her clanmates said their condolences when she passed with her head low. She didn’t offer to join as many hunting parties. When she got up in the morning she went straight to the nursery. She spent her time doting on Frostfur, watching her sister’s belly grow larger every day. It was the only joy and sense of duty she got. Sometimes she would take time to watch her brothers who grieved Robinwing and Fuzzypelt like her, but their grief felt shorter. Soon enough, they were playing with the other kits in the nursery, like their mother and father never died.

Maybe they are too young to understand , she thought. Or maybe kits are more resilient than warriors.

Dustkit seemed to be doing well. He was growing stronger every day and played well with Sandkit. Ravenkit had remained in the nursery for a lot longer before he braved himself to leave the den. He had always been a timid kit but his timidness seemed to have increased since the deaths. When she went to the nursery, he was more often with Goldenflower than with his own littermate.

Lionheart often joined her when she tended to Frostfur, and Brindleface became so fond of him and his love for Frostfur. Her sister truly had chosen the best mate.

One damp day, as leaf-bare was finally ending, the snow had begun to melt. Brindleface went out hunting alone, as she often wanted to lately. Frostfur was close to giving birth soon and carved the taste of a crow. So she was stalking in the slush and snow, searching for any prey, but specifically the crow. So far she scented nothing all morning and felt her fur prickle from the frustration at it.

Just as she rounded a boulder, she bumped into a dark figure who jumped, startled at seeing her. 

“Stars above Brindleface!” Darkstripe hissed, “You scared the fur off me.”

She backed up just as startled, “Sorry! I didn’t see you there.”

The fur along his spine flattened, “What are you doing out here?”

“Hunting. Or trying to. I’ve been out all morning and not a whiff of anything,” she murmured. “Frostfur’s craving a crow specifically.”

She glanced at him, “What about you?”

He was silent, his amber eyes staring at her. Brindleface thought for a moment that he would walk off without answering. “Frankly, I needed some time alone. I spend every day with Longpaw, and he’s a great apprentice but has too much energy for me.”

Brindleface purred, “You sound like an elder, you’re younger than me you should have plenty of energy to match his.”

Darkstripe huffed but then smiled, “I do have plenty of energy, but one thing I’ve learned is that apprentices always seem to have more. Anytime I try to wear him out, I’m the one left tired.”

Brindleface gave her coat a shake, “I remember being that way toward my mentor. I grew out of it though.”

“Good to hear.”

After that there was a silence that stretched between them, it grew longer as neither spoke. She didn’t know what to say after that and it seemed neither did he. Finally Brindleface shuffled her paws, “Well I better get back to my hunt.”

Darkstripe nodded, “Yeah. Good luck.”

He walked past her towards the direction of camp. Brindleface started to pad forward but stopped. The forest was so silent now. The trees had no leaves for the wind to whistle through. The snow had all melted and the ground was wet. It’s soggy slush and mud muffled all pawsteps. It was too quiet. Other than Frostfur and Lionheart, she hadn’t been spending much time around her clanmates, choosing to grieve with only her sister, and no one else. She felt the isolation begin to grow within her. She was tired of being alone now, clan cats were not meant to be alone. 

With Frostfur and Goldenflower being in the nursery, and Whitestorm, Lionheart and Tigerclaw taking the lead with Redtail to defend ThunderClan’s borders. She did not have many of her friends left to be around outside of the camp.

“Actually, Darkstripe?” Brindleface called after him.

The dark tabby had not gone far and turned his head to her. “If you don’t mind… would you like to join me on the hunt?”

He seemed surprised at the invitation. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, “Only if you want to. I know you just said you wanted some alone time. I just thought two bodies are better than one for hunting.”

He looked up at the sky. She followed his gaze and a black shape flew overhead. A crow. 

“I said I only needed a break from Longpaw. So long as you don’t bounce around me and ask endless questions.”

“Was that a joke?” Brindleface waited as he bounded to her side. “I didn’t think you told jokes.”

He grunted and began heading in the direction the crow flew.

Maybe not.

Together they walked silently. Brindleface kept her nose to the breeze, and she caught a whiff of the bird and took the lead. Darkstripe followed close behind her. 

There. Just behind an ash tree. The crow was on the ground pecking at the damp ground for any bugs and grub. It was a good size. It would certainly feed Frostfur and another queen. 

“So what’s your plan for this?” Darkstripe whispered.

She glanced around. There was very little cover to hide behind. Some more foliage would be nice. But that was the curse of newleaf. No more snow but still no greenery. 

“Can you get yourself positioned between those two boulders? It’s still a bit far from the crow but I’ll get in closer and you chase it to me.”

Darkstripe’s eyes darted to the boulders, then the crow. He nodded. “Okay. Don’t miss that leap.”

With that, he began to stalk towards his position.

No pressure, she thought annoyingly.  

Brindleface slowly shuffled herself to a patch of brown and gray snow, near a bare shrub. She hoped it was enough to cover her, and allow her pelt to blend in. Darkstripe had gotten himself between the boulders and had his eyes on the crow. It was still hopping around, unaware of the two warriors. Her eyes met his and she gave a nod. He lowered down, wiggled his front shoulders then raced out towards the crow. It gave a cry of alarm and took flight, heading directly towards herself.

She kept her eyes on it as it flew closer but higher in her direction. She felt her muscles tense at the thought of missing it, but crushed those thoughts immediately, and waited for just the right moment.

Now!

Brindleface leapt up, pushing herself as high as she could with her claws out-stretched. They closed around the black feathers and she brought it to the ground. Quick as an adder, her jaws bit down around its throat. The crow gave one more squawk then went limp. Brindleface licked the blood from her lips.

Thank you StarClan for this prey.

Darkstripe came to her side. “Nice kill, and that was a pretty good leap you took.”

“Well, I didn't want to miss it.” Her tone came out sharper than she wanted to. “I could have done without the added pressure.” As if she didn’t have enough weighing on her to catch the crow in the first place. 

Darkstripe pinned his ears back. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well what did you mean?”

“Only… what I was trying to say was- nevermind. You caught it and that’s all that matters. Unless you plan to hunt anything else we should head back.”

He didn’t wait for her to respond and walked past. She picked up her kill and followed close behind. 

They found the usual trail that led back to the gorse tunnel. As they approached the slope that led down into the camp, Brindleface brushed her tail against Darkstripe’s side, signalling him to stop. She laid her crow on the ground. 

“Thanks for your help with this.”

He gave a gruff nod. 

“I mean it.” She pressed. “I’m sorry if I sounded touchy back there. Frostfur really wanted this and I wanted to give it to her. I had been out all day and didn’t even find a single morsel of prey.”

She sat down. “I’m glad you came with me and helped with herding this towards me. I was already nervous about missing it after we took so long to find one. Prey has been so scarce this leaf-bare…” She trailed off.

Darkstripe turned his head away and avoided her eyes. “I... I didn’t mean to make you more nervous.” He muttered. “You’re good at catching birds in the air, everyone knows that. When I said ‘don’t miss that leap’... I meant it as a joke.”

His ears flattened. “Since, you know, because you probably wouldn’t have missed. Since you're so good.”

Brindleface blinked. Now she understood and felt worse for her previous tone. He was capable of joking. She'd never seen him this… embarrassed? No. More like unsure. 

She gave him a gentle smile. “Thank you for the compliment. Sorry I didn't get to appreciate your joke.”

He gave a half smile back. “It wasn't a very good joke anyways. Your welcome by the way, about the hunt. Get it to Frostfur and the other queens while it's still fresh. I've been away from my apprentice for long enough.”

Darkstripe headed down the ravine's pathway towards the camp. Brindleface picked the crow up and followed. He'd entered camp when she got to the tunnel and ran though to the nursery. Frostfur was lying on her side with Speckletail grooming her large belly. She immediately rolled over and licked her lips. “You found one!”

Brindleface purred and dropped it at her sister's paws. Frostfur dug into it, ripping the feathers away to the soft warm meat beneath. She beckoned Goldenflower with her white tail and the golden-ginger queen laid next to her and shared the crow. Brindleface smiled. She had done her duty today. Her sister was fed, the unborn kits would have plenty of milk when they were born, and the crow was big enough to feed the other nursing queens. 

“Thank you Brindleface. You were out for so long I was beginning to worry.”

“I couldn't find anything for the longest time. Darkstripe saw it fly overhead and we tracked it down together.”

Frostfur raised an eye, “Darkstripe?”

“Yes. I ran into him while out and he helped me catch it.”

“Huh, well thank you for spending so much of your time hunting for me, but I'm glad you're safe home now.” Frostfur pressed her face to Brindleface's.

Brindleface rested her chin on Frostfur's back. Listening to the quiet sounds of the nursery. The kits mewling and the queens purring. It was all so soothing. She looked at her sister's round belly. She was just as excited for these little warriors to be born. She closed her eyes, and while thinking of the day's events, her mind kept wandering back to Darkstripe.

*

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*

As the days continued and the weather warmed, Brindleface found herself going out of camp with Darkstripe more and more. It started when she asked him to accompany her while gathering soft bedding for Frostfur. He'd surprisingly agreed. The next time he was the one who approached first and asked if she wanted to join him on a simple walk. Just to be out of camp for a few moments of quiet. She accepted, and now when she wasn’t doing her duties or tending to Frostfur, she was with him. Just the same, when he wasn’t training his apprentice or socializing with Tigerclaw, he was with her. 

Sometimes they went for walks and spoke quietly to each other. Other times they went hunting. Darkstripe told her once he enjoyed hunting, it was something he too was exceptional at. However Tigerclaw valued the skill of fighting and battle strategies, so he focused the most on that to get his mentor’s approval. 

Brindleface found that she enjoyed his company. She hadn’t spent that much time around him, mostly because of his rather rude and brash personality. It was once off putting, but now that she was getting to know him, it did not bother her much. She was beginning to understand him more. He was Willowpelt's first litter, and at the time, the only kit in the clan. He had no littermates to grow up with and no other denmates in the nursery or the apprentice's den. It was easy to see now his personality came from the isolation of growing up without any other kits. She had her Frostfur, Whitestorm and Tigerclaw growing up, and that socialization throughout her young life shaped her into the warrior she was now. It must have been lonely for him.

Because he opened up to her, she felt it was right to do the same. She told him of her feelings towards her parents death and Frostfur pregnancy. Of stories from her kithood and apprenticeship, and the bond between her and her sister. 

Darkstripe listened intently to her. Never interrupting and asking questions when she was finished. 

Brindleface accepted him as another one of her close friends. Redtail placed them on patrols together seeing how well they worked together. She was content and warm at the new friendship, especially because it dulled the pain of her parents death. She felt happier now more lively like the newleaf growth that surrounded them.

It was dusk when Frostfur's cramps started. The sunset had just fallen beneath the trees and Brindleface was visiting her one last time before she headed back to her nest for the night. Speckletail bursted out of the entrance of the nursery and spotted her. 

“Brindleface quickly go get Spottedleaf!”

Her eyes widened, “Is Frostfur kitting?”

She nodded, “Yes hurry!”

Brindleface raced to Spottedleaf's den. The medicine cat was binding some herbs together and she looked up when Brindleface entered. “Spottedleaf! Frostfur is kitting and Speckletail sent me!”

The pretty tortoiseshell leapt to her paws, poked her nose into some of her storage and ran alongside her with herbs in her jaws. The two she-cats entered and approached Frostfur who was lying down, sides heaving and her nose scrunched up with pain and discomfort. 

“How long did the cramps start?” Spottedleaf asked.

“Late… afternoon.” Frostfur gasped.

Spottedleaf nodded and looked around the den. “It's tight in here, and Frostfur needs some quiet breathing room. Willowpelt can you and Goldenflower take the kits to the elders den? Tell them I sent them there so as not to bother Frostfur. They'll understand.”

Willowpelt and Goldenflower escorted the larger kits, Sandkit, Dustkit, Ravenkit and Graykit, while carrying Swiftkit out of the den. It immediately felt less cramped and allowed for more room to move.

“Can Brindleface stay with me?” Frostfur whimpered as a spasm rippled across her belly. “I really want her here.”

“Of course, whatever you feel most comfortable with.”

Brindleface sat next to her. “What about Lionheart?”

Speckletail stood up. “I'll let him know she's kitting, but we'll keep him out of the nursery until she's done.”

“Thank you.”

It was just Spottedleaf and Brindleface in the nursery now helping Frostfur. The medicine cat rubbed her belly, feeling the position and status of the kits while Brindleface soothed Frostfur from the spasms and pain. She licked her ears reassuringly, murmured encouraging words and recounted stories of their kithood to distract her.

This lasted all night. The moonlight outside shone silver, lighting the den's entrance. Lionheart and Speckletail's shadows could be seen. Then the silver light began to wane as dawn arrived. It was then that Spottedleaf ordered Frostfur to start pushing. The first kit was coming! Sometime during the night Brindleface fetched a stick for her to bite down. It cracked between her teeth as she gave a great heavy and a wet bundle was born. Spottedleaf licked it and the kit, tiny as a sparrow let out its first cry. Brindleface could hardly believe something so tiny and fragile could make such a powerful noise. 

The second came quickly. Then there was a lull. The two kits were cleaned and placed at Frostfur's curved belly to nurse. The dawn patrol returned to camp when a third was born. Spottedleaf gave the kit to Brindleface to clean while she helped Frostfur with the final kit. The sun had risen, and Spottedleaf announced the birth was finished. Frostfur was a mother to four beautiful kits. Brindleface's heart swelled at the sight of her kin. 

“I'm so proud of you.” She licked her cheek. “You did so well.”

Frostfur gave a weak smile and returned her gaze to her newborns. There were two toms and two she-kits. The toms had golden brown tabby pelts, one she-kit was white with ginger patches, and the other she-kit was dark gray. 

Brindleface felt the unwanted envy seeing Frostfur and the kits. She forced it down so as not to ruin this happy moment. But she couldn't deny it was there. 

She wanted this too.

She wanted kits of her own.

Chapter Text

Brindleface wanted to spend the entire day in the nursery cooing over her new nieces and nephews but she wished her sister well, then left so Lionheart could enter and see his new kits. 

“I’ve kept you long enough, they’re waiting for you.”

Lionheart leapt to his paws and rushed past her, stopping for a moment to whisper, “Thank you Brindleface. I’m glad you were with her through that.”

She yawned and entered the warrior’s den as others were leaving, ready to start their day. Brindleface however had been up all night assisting with the birth. She was exhausted. She flopped into her nest and curled up, sleep coming for her the moment she closed her eyes. 

She slept through the morning and awoke more energized in the afternoon. Brindleface got up and walked over to Redtail and Bluestar.

“Brindleface, are you well rested?” He asked.

She nodded, “I am now. Thank you for letting me sleep this morning.”

“You certainly deserve it, Spottedleaf told me that you stayed with Frostfur all night helping with her delivery.”

She blushed, “I helped my sister. She would have done the same for me.”

Bluestar gave a nod, “You and Frostfur are lucky to have each other. And lucky to have such a deep bond between yourselves.”

Brindleface beamed. “Is there anything I can do for today? Any patrols?”

Redtail shook his head, “I sent the last hunting patrol out for today. If you want I can put you on tomorrow’s dawn patrol.”

“Sure Redtail, thank you.”

With the day to herself she laid down in a patch of sunlight, letting its golden rays warm her belly. She could hear the gossiping of the clan. Mostly it was filled with excitement for the clan’s newest kits. She considered going to see Frostfur and the kits again but decided they needed rest. The kits weren’t even a day old.

After a while she became bored with sunning herself. As she considered leaving camp to visit the Sunningrocks she heard a familiar voice. “Hold on Longpaw, I’m coming.”

Longpaw was by the entrance tunnel, his tail whipping back and forth excitedly. Darkstripe padded to his side, “Alright let’s go.”

They exited the camp and Brindleface jumped up to follow them. She reached them as they started climbing up the ravine. Darkstripe turned when he heard her behind them and flicked his ear, “Hey Brindleface.”

She greeted him with a purr, “Where are you two off to?”

“We’re heading near the Twolegplace!” Longpaw said. “I’m going to fight kittypets and dogs.”

“No you are not.” Darkstripe gave an exasperated sigh. “I’m taking you there to get you familiar with their scents. Especially dogs since you’ve never seen one yet.”

“And if we encounter one we chase it?”

“Absouletly not!”

“Then we fight it?”

“I fight it. You will climb up a tree and stay there until I say so. If we encounter one.” 

Longpaw grumbled and Brindleface again purred. He was certainly a pawful. She now understood Darkstripes tiredness every time he came back from some sort of training with him. 

“Care to join us?” He suddenly asked. “I’m taking him near the Twoleg fences then we’ll come back up near the thunderpath and over to the Great Sycamore to hunt.”

She nodded, “Sure I’d love to.”

Together they climbed up the ravine and walked through ThunderClan’s territory. Taking in the new fresh leaves on all the trees and bushes. Finally greenleaf had come, and new life came with it in all forms. 

“Heard you were with Frostfur during her delivery,” Darkstripe slowed his pace to be by her side. “Yes, it lasted all night. It was more tiring for her than for me.”

“So you got to see the kits?” Longpaw asked. “How are they? Are they tiny?”

“They were all born strong and yes they are tiny. No bigger than a sparrow but they’ve got the hearts of warriors already.”

Longpaw grinned, “I can’t wait to see them.” Then he turned to his mentor, “Will I be a warrior by the time they’re ready to be apprentices?”

Darkstripe smiled, “Certainly. You should be ready for your assessment soon. But it’s up to Bluestar and Redtail on who mentors them. And there are cats who have been warriors longer than you who should mentor first.”

“The same could be said about you Darkstripe.” Brindleface replied. “Lionheart, Goldenflower, even Mousefur and Runningwind are older than you yet you got to mentor this fine apprentice before any of them.”

“What can I say?” He smirked. “I suppose I got lucky.”

They quieted as they reached the border along the Twolegplace. They travelled down until they came to one part where the scent of dog was very strong. Darkstripe beckoned Longpaw to it and began whispering to him of how to identify dogs by smell and how they tore up the ground when they ran. 

Brindleface tuned them out and turned her head to the fence. The Twolegplace, home to Twolegs, dogs, monsters and their kittypets. 

I wonder…

When a she-cat had kits, they did not need to give the name of the father. The Clan would have to respect that. Bluestar sure enforced it. Plenty of she-cats throughout the history of the clans had kits and raised them without a mate. She heard stories of queens that had their litters with cats of other clans, or rogues, or even kittypets.

It was breaking the Warrior Code to have kits with a cat outside of the ThunderClan. But perhaps it was her only option. In the Twolegplace surely not many cats would ask questions and whatever happened could never come back and reach her in the forest. 

I don’t like the idea of using some poor tomcat for my own wants. Especially one that I don’t know very well. 

She was ready to be a mother. Witnessing her sister’s kits only solidified her resolve. She would have kits of her own and raise them alongside Frostfur’s kits. Just as they spoke about so many moons ago when they were kits. They just needed a father who would be just that. A cat who fathered them. Nothing more.

Then an idea came to her.

“Are you okay?”

She jumped. Darkstripe was beside her frowning, “I called your name a few times. You weren’t responding.”

She smoothed her fur down and nodded.

“Okay well… we’re done here. So let’s head over to the Great Sycamore.”

They followed the path along the fences to the Thunderpath that separated ThunderClan and ShadowClan. They traveled upwards and across Snakerocks to the hunting grounds. Darkstripe instructed Longpaw to hunt by the roots for the great tree. He bounded off and Darkstripe turned to Brindleface. “You seem off today.”

Brindleface’s breath caught in her throat. This seemed like the perfect opening.

“Can I confide in you?”

“Sounds serious.”

“It is.”

He sat down and she followed, sitting so close to him that their pelts touched. She took a deep breath then began, “Back before Frostfur was expecting, I started to think about having kits.”

Her throat felt like it was tightening, she cleared it then started again. “Even then I knew I wanted to be a mother. To have a litter of kits and love them as they grew into ThunderClan warriors. Being alongside Frostfur through her pregnancy… and seeing those kits she had, it strengthened my decision.”

“Especially now, I want to have them. But I don’t have a mate.”

Darkstripe flicked his ear but remained silent. 

“I have no intentions to have a mate. It’s just not for me like it is for others. So I’ve been thinking… I’d like to have a tom father my kits.” Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. This was the first time she’d ever spoken to someone about this. She hadn’t even told Frostfur, but she was telling him. “Specifically one who will be just that. The one who gives me kits. I don’t need him to help me raise them, I’ll do that myself.”

She stopped and looked to Darkstripe. His eyes were wide in surprise, taking in all that she had said. Then he slowly blinked, “That’s something. You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it.”

“Yes,” She mewed.

He opened his jaws to speak then snapped it shut and broke their eye contact with a turn of his head.

“What’s wrong? What were you going to say?” She pressed.

Head still turned away, he whispered, “Do you have someone who will do it for you?”

Brindleface shook her head. “No. I don’t know who to ask. Except maybe… you?” 

The silence that came next stretched on for what seemed like forever. She waited with baited breath for him to respond. A gust of wind came through and rustled the leaves and bushes around them. When the gust ended, everything was silent again.

“If I say no, what will you do?”

I came on too strong, of course he wouldn’t want to. She bowed her head and stared at her paws. 

“I don’t know. I’m not close with any of the toms in ThunderClan that don’t have mates. It would feel too strange to ask them. I suppose I’d find someone outside of the clans-”

“What?!” Darkstripe suddenly growled.

She blinked, startled.

“You’d break the warrior code and taint your kits with the blood of an outsider?” He hissed, “How can you claim to love your future kits but you’d shame them with a kittypet or a loner for a father?”

She bristled, “They would never know. No one would! I will love them and my blood will be enough to make them strong and devoted warriors! My kits will never be ashamed so long as I’m their mother!”

Eye to eye they stared. A hot green gaze glared into burning amber eyes. Tainted blood? I know he is a purist but they’d still be part of ThunderClan, she thought annoyingly.

Then Darkstripe’s fur flattened. “They’ll never need to be ashamed. Not when they’ll come from two ThunderClan warriors.”

She straightened feeling hopeful again, “You’ll do it?”

“For you only. I’m not a father type and I’ll most likely never be,” He admitted. “So I’ll help you have kits. But I’ll have no part in them. You're sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes.

“Does the Clan need to know?”

She shook her head, “No this can stay between us. If you wish to tell someone close to you, you can. Only Frostfur will know this from me. No one else.”

Darkstripe gave a thoughtful glance to the direction of camp then shrugged, “No one important to me needs to know.”

“Alright.”

“Is that it?”

“Yes I have nothing else.”

He turned to the Great Sycamore, “Well let’s find Longpaw and head back.”

She followed, “Darkstripe.”

“Hm?” He cocked his head.

She smiled, “Thank you. For agreeing to this, you’re the only friend I could have ever asked.”

He too gave a rare and genuine smile, “Will we continue to be friends even after this?”

“Of course.”

*

*

*

Newleaf passed into greenleaf. Big changes came within ThunderClan. More kits were apprenticed and their mentors started their training immediately. The nursery was quieter without young Dustpaw, Ravenpaw, Sandpaw and Graypaw. With new apprentices, came a new warrior. Brindleface had never seen Darkstripe more proud than when Longpaw was made a warrior. He boasted to Brindleface for days on how well of a warrior he was already and that Longtail’s skill was all thanks to him. She just rolled her eyes, surely all mentors felt this way, especially with their first apprentices. 

But all of ThunderClan’s blessings soon turned. The loss of Sunningrocks to RiverClan soured the whole Clan for days. To lose a popular hunting ground was not ideal. One day Redtail along with Tigerclaw and Ravenpaw left to hopefully take the territory back, and they did. At the cost of Redtail’s life.

Brindleface was not close to Redtail, but he was a wonderful warrior and deputy. She would have been happy to serve under him when he became leader. His death was a painful thing to the Clan. She felt awful for Spottedleaf, Willowpelt and Patchpelt. Afterall he was their brother. Her own little brother Dustpaw had lost his mentor as well. She and Frostfur wondered if they should console him but Goldenflower had already taken to that. 

To her surprise and pleasure, Darkstripe was assigned his mentor for the remainder of his training. Even he was surprised by this, so soon after finishing up one apprentice, he was given another. It limited the time they used to spend together. He got back into the mentorship routine and she spent more time in camp. 

Brindleface ran from Spottedleaf’s den to the nursery one sunny morning. Frostfur was lounging with the kits playing all over her. Brackenkit and Brightkit battered at her tail while Thornkit and Cinderkit climbed atop her back and jumped down, only to climb back up and do it again.

“Hello kits!” Brindleface called.

Four sets of eyes turned to her, “Brindleface!” They scampered across the den and leapt at her. Their tiny kitten claws prickled her fur and they attempted to climb her. 

“That’s enough! You don’t crowd someone like that when they’re trying to come in,” Frostfur scolded. “Let her lay down and ask if you can do that.”

After waddling over the excited kits, she laid beside Frostfur. Cinderkit immediately began playing with her gray tabby tail while Thornkit and Brightkit went back to their mother. Brackenkit laid on Brindleface’s back and purred. 

“They’re getting so big now,” Brindleface murmured.

Frostfur nodded, “I know and I hate it. I wish they’d stay small forever." 

“Can you believe by the time leaf-fall is here, they’ll be apprentices?”

Frostfur whimpered, “Don’t tell me that. It’s already too soon.” Brindleface groomed her and the two she-cats settled together among the kits. 

“Can we play outside?” Brightkit suddenly asked.

“Yes please Momma?” Thornkit squeaked. 

“Hmm,” Frostfur frowned, “I’m not sure.”

Brindleface nudged her, “Let them. It’s nice outside and as long as they stay near the nursery, they’ll be fine. Besides…” She lowered her head. “I have something exciting to tell you,” she whispered. 

Frostfur gave a purr of amusement, “Oh alright dears. Stay near the nursery and don’t bother the warriors unless they approach you first.”

“We will!” Four sets of paws scampered off.

“Well?” Frostfur prompted. “What is it?”

Brindleface gazed at her. She felt so giddy and excited to finally share the news she’d been dreaming about for so long. Frostfur waited and began to grow impatient. “Brindleface?”

“I’m expecting kits.”

Frostfur recoiled in surprise and disbelief, her eyes wide in shock. She stared at her for a few heartbeats. Then a great smile broke out on her face.

“That’s amazing! Congratulations Brindleface, kits!” She began passionately licking Brindleface’s ears, which turned red from embarrassment. “Frostfur stop,” She purred. 

“This is wonderful, my kits will still be in the nursery by the time yours are born. They’ll be together as apprentices too, oh StarClan I’m so excited.”

Frostfur then tilted her head, “I didn’t know you were mates with anyone? Who’s the father?”

Time for this conversation, she thought.

“I’m not mates with anyone,” She began, ignoring the confused look on Frostfur’s face. “I wanted to have kits of my own, and I couldn’t find a mate that I loved here within the clan. So I made an agreement with someone to help me have these kits. But I would be the only one raising them.”

Frostfur opened then closed her mouth. Her pretty pink nose wrinkled. “Are you sure you can do it by yourself?”

Brindleface was going to answer but Frostfur shook her head and smiled, “What am I saying? You won’t raise them alone, I don’t even raise mine alone. I always have Speckletail and Goldenflower with me. And you’ll have us too.”

Brindleface smiled, “Yes I can do this, and I know I’ll always have you all to help me.”

She pressed herself to her sister and the two laid together in silent happiness. She was so incredibly grateful and lucky to Frostfur. She will be a wonderful aunt to my kits, like how I’ve been to hers.

“Who is the father though.” Frostfur suddenly asked. Then she whispered, “Is it a tom from… outside the clan?”

“No, no it’s not anyone outside of ThunderClan. It’s Darkstripe.”

Frostfur visibly flinched and curled her lip, “Darkstripe?”

Brindleface was taken aback by her strong reaction, “Yes Darkstripe. We made an agreement for him to father my kits, so they’ll have two ThunderClan parents. But he’s never wanted to raise kits.”

“Unsurprising” she scoffed.

“Hey now don’t be mean, he’s our friend”

“He’s your friend.”

“And Tigerclaw’s.”

“But not mine.”

Brindleface frowned, “You don’t like him?”

She shook her head, “He’s brash and antagonistic, arrogant without the skills to back it up, loud and obnoxious and-”

“Okay” Brindleface hissed. “I get it. I thought that of him too, but you need to get to know and understand him. He’s a good warrior, a fantastic hunter, he’s so devoted to the clan and especially to training apprentices.”

Frostfur still looked unimpressed. 

“Look like I said, he’s never wanted to raise kits. He’s helped me father them and that’s it. I’ll go to Bluestar and tell her I will not name a father and he’ll be just a regular clanmate to them.”

Frostfur looked as if she wanted to argue but signed and nodded, “Okay, while I don’t approve of the cat you chose to do this with. I’m fine with the agreement you made. You’ll raise these kits with me and the other queens. We’ll help you every step of the way, in return, you do the same for ours.”

“Haven’t I already been doing that?”

She grinned, “Exactly.” 

*

*

*

“Well Brindleface, that belly is certainly getting bigger,” Spottedleaf pressed her paws in the center and rubbed the area. “I’d say at this point it would be most beneficial and safe for you to move to the nursery.”

“You think so?”

She nodded, and Frostfur flicked her tail beside her, “I’ve been saying that for days now.”

“Hey don’t team up on me.”

They laughed as Brindleface got onto her paws, a little awkwardly from her belly. While she is still so happy to be expecting kits, the downsides from being pregnant have been rough for her. Every morning she felt sick and nauseous; sometimes she’d even vomit from it. With the greenleaf heat, her pelt and belly felt too warm for her body. And itchy. She was constantly thirsty and hungry, much like how Frostfur had been. 

One morning she wanted the taste of a large black squirrel. She begged Goldenflower to ask one of the warriors to find one, and she managed to catch the hunting patrol before they left. Lionheart came in during the afternoon with one in his jaws.

“Oh thank you Lionheart” Brindleface said between devouring bites.

“I’m not the one who caught it, Darkstripe and Longtail did,” he said while letting Brackenkit and Brightkit bite on his thick tail.

How kind of them. Of him . She thought. 

Darkstripe hadn’t come to visit her in the nursery, most likely to not arouse suspicion. Since Lionheart and Speckletail usually brought prey to her and the other queens, she probably would not see him until the kits were born. Only then were the other warriors expected to come to the nursery to visit them.

“Well come on, the apprentices just gathered some fresh moss so we’ll use that to make you a perfect nest. Right next to mine.”

“As always,” Brindleface mewed.

The two queens left Spottedleaf’s den towards the nursery. Brindleface saw her brother Ravenpaw along with Graypaw and Firepaw. They were chatting outside the apprentice’s den, immersed in the stories they told of their current training practices. 

She hadn’t had much of a chance to speak with Firepaw, the newest apprentice. A kittypet just a few moons ago, now an apprentice of ThunderClan. Bluestar had found him and he arrived in ThunderClan with Lionheart and Whitestorm who both gave their approval of him. He had fought with Longtail to earn his place and now he barely looked like the plump kittypet he had been when he arrived.

He got along best with Graypaw and Ravenpaw. She noticed her brother seemed to open up more around his friends.

Most of the Clan had accepted him now, some still did not. Longtail wouldn’t for a while. Especially after his ear and his pride were torn. It was probably the same for Darkstripe. He cared a lot for ThunderClan blood, but surely he would come to accept him with the rest of the clan.

“Hey are you just going to stand outside or are you coming?” Frostfur hissed.

“Sorry.”

Brindleface stepped inside to the nursery, Frostfur’s kits were all tucked in their nest sleeping peacefully. Tired from their day of playing. Goldenflower and Speckletail sat beside one another taking in the silence. At their arrival Speckletail opened one eye, “Oh is Brindleface finally moving in with us?”

“Yes I am, Spottedleaf’s orders.”

“Wonderful,” she purred and stood up. “Here, let's get your nest ready.”

She joined Frostfur in tearing some moss from a nearby supply around the edges of the den. Together they pulled the softest bits and piled them together. Brindleface offered to help but they declined. Once they had enough, the two she-cats carefully but swiftly weaved the moss into a soft and plush nest. 

“There,” Frostfur mewed. 

“Thank you, both of you.” She pressed a paw into the nest, then sunk into the most comfortable nest she’d ever had. It was perfect for her and her kits, she glanced at her belly, they would be here soon. 

*

*

*

Frostfur’s face was pressed into Lionheart’s thick fur. Her great howling sobs echoed around the camp. Brindleface and Dappletail sat on either side, holding her body up. Tears were slowly dripping down Brindleface’s cheeks. 

Oh Lionheart.

He was dead. 

Her sister’s mate was dead.

His body was cold now. The blood from his wounds had stopped long ago. The scent of death filled the air. 

This brave, honorable, loyal warrior, was gone. Killed by ShadowClan warriors. No, those weren’t warriors. Warriors did not invade another Clan’s camp, warriors did not kill a good cat while defending his clan and warriors did not try to steal kits from their own nests.

She gave a low growl, if not for Yellowfang, the former ShadowClan medicine cat, Frostfur would have lost her mate and kits. She was thankful the old she-cat was there to defend the nursery and stop the thieving pieces of crow-food.

Those kits are so young, not even apprentices yet and they’ve lost their father. Lionheart… we’ll all miss you. 

The morning after Lionheart’s vigil, Brindelface felt pain in her belly. She had odd pangs and cramps lately but they would end as quickly as they came.

But not now.

The cramps and pain lingered for a long while. She hid the pain on her face and tried to go about her day as usual. Mostly she remained by Frostfur and the kits sides. Frostfur seemed in such a daze, so she cleaned them and murmured soft words for comfort. But as the afternoon came, the pain intensified. It came in such a powerful wave that it made her gasp and grimace. She lowered her head on the nest and whimpered. 

“Brindleface? What’s wrong?” Brightkit squeaked. 

She tried to answer but a pained cry came out instead.

Suddenly Frostfur was snapped out of her daze and on her paws in an instant. She put one paw on Brindleface’s belly, “It’s your kits.”

“They’re coming now?”

“Yes, it seems like it.”

As much as she’d been excited to meet her kits, she wished they’d held off another day or two. It felt so strange to be bringing new life into the clan, so soon after a death. She wanted more time to console Frostfur too.

A contraction rippled along her flank and she whimpered again, shutting her eyes. She didn’t realize Frostfur had left her side and returned with Spottedleaf and Goldenflower. The tortiseshell medicine cat had a bundle of herbs in her mouth, “I’m here Brindleface. We all are.”

She appreciated her words. 

“Brackenkit, take your brother and sister to Goldenflower’s nest, sit with Swiftkit,” Frostfur ordered. “Stay quiet.”

“Do you think they’d be better outside?” Spottedleaf asked, “It’s a bit crowded in here.”

“No!” 

Brindleface’s eyes widened, “It-It’s okay, they can stay.”

“Then everyone hush,” Spottedleaf ordered, “We’re here to focus on Brindleface and her kits.”

Frostfur nodded and leaned down, “Sorry” she said, “Just after the ShadowClan attack… I don’t want them out of my sight.”

“It’s okay” Brindleface said again, “I understand.”

She stopped speaking as another contraction spasm consumed her and she hissed in pain. She knew to expect pain when it came to birthing kits. She’d helped Frostfur through it, but StarClan it was worse than she could have ever imagined. Frostfur told her to focus on breathing in and out when the contractions came.

It felt like ages when Goldenflower left the den and returned swiftly with a moss ball full of water, “Here Brindleface. Drink this.” 

She gave a grateful nod and lapped up the water. It quenched her thirst and she sighed and took another deep breath. 

“How much longer will it be Spottedleaf?” She whimpered.

“Not long now, I can feel the kits have moved down and they seem to be almost ready to come out. Keep breathing like you're doing. It may not feel like it but this is going smoothly.”

“You're right, I don’t feel like it,” she groaned.

  Frostfur chuckled, “I felt the same, but Spottedleaf is right, you’re doing well.”

The sun had set and the camp outside was quiet. It had grown dark in the nursery but it felt safe and cozy as well. 

A particularly strong wave of pain hit her and she hissed. “The first kit is coming,” Spottedleaf said from behind her hindquarters, “Push now!” 

She dug her claws in her nest and gave a great heave, she felt a wet bundle slip out beneath her tail and onto the nest. Spottedleaf acted quickly as she always did and nipped the sack and began to lick the kit until it squealed. 

“A tom” she announced.

A tom, a son, she thought and craned her head to see. Frostfur picked up the kit and placed it at Brindleface’s belly. “Your firstborn.” she whispered.

“The second one is coming Brindleface, push again!”

It felt routine now and she pushed and gave birth to a second kit, once Spottedleaf got it breathing and mewling she purred that it was another tom. Both her sons were now at her belly suckling. Spottedleaf told her she felt there were probably two more kits still in her belly. There was a lull and Brindleface felt she could catch her breath, then the third came. She had to push a few times for it to come out, but it did and she waited for Spottedleaf to finish with the kit. 

“Is it another tom?”

“Nope this one is a she-kit.”

Oh, my daughter.  

“Almost done Brindleface,” Frostfur meowed.

With barely any effort her last kit was born. Another son. Smaller than his littermates and his mewls sounded weaker than the others. With the last kit placed at her belly, she flopped her head down.

She was done.  

“Well done Brindleface,” Spottedleaf said quietly, “You have four beautiful kits. Three toms and one she-kit. I want you to chew this borage. It will help you milk flow.”

She tiredly lapped up the herbs and drank what was left of the water. Frostfur groomed her head and belly, the gentle rhythm of her tongue was perfect and soothing in the moment. 

“They all look healthy.” Goldenflower said.

“That last one is smaller than his littermates,” Spottedleaf sniffed her youngest, “We’ll keep an eye on him, if he continues nursing he’ll get bigger and stronger. Be sure to let me know if he isn’t nursing or stops completely.”

“We’ll watch him,” Frostfur said and Spottedleaf exited the den.

Brindleface weakly raised her head, her vision became blurry as tears began to cloud her eyes. Her kits. These four tiny, soft and beautiful bundles of fur were her kits. Her sons, and her daughter. Her heart felt as if it would explode with so much love. All the love in the world. She realized she felt something else as well. A fierce protectiveness. There was so much that could harm her kits, and she wanted to fight it all. No matter what it took, she would fight anything and everything to keep them safe.

“You're feeling a lot right now right?”

Frostfur licked the top of her head, “I felt the same way when I had mine. So many emotions overtook me every time I looked at them.” She nosed the moss bed to fluff it around the kits, “My beautiful kin. I look forward to seeing them grow and gain their personalities.”

“Thank you Frostfur,” Brindleface breathed, “For everything today. I know it’s been rough for you since… Lionheart.”

Frostfur nodded, squeezing her eyes shut, “It will always linger. This agonizing grief. But I know it will soften eventually. I’ll always miss him, but I know I’ll see him again one day.” She opened her eyes and gave a sad smile, “Lionheart would want me to move forward. To continue caring for our kits and the Clan.”

She leaned down and gave each of the kits a lick, “I’m grateful they came now, this helped pull me out of my grief.”

Brindleface brushed her shoulder with her tail, “Be sure you grieve when you need to. Cry when it feels painful and don’t hold it down.” 

“Thank you for that advice.”

They sat in silence, relishing in the sound of suckling and mewling newborns. Brindleface immortalized this moment in her memory. She never wanted to forget it.

“You should start to think of some names,” Frostfur licked her forepaw. “Let me know if you need any help.”

“Well I suppose you should name one, afterall you let me choose Brackenkit’s name,” Brindleface purred.

“Well of course, it’s an honor. Robinwing once told me it was Larksong who chose my name.”

“Really, I didn’t know what. I wonder how my name came to be.”

Brindleface then nudged her sister, “Please Frostfur, give one of them a name.”

Frostfur nodded and with her bright pink nose, she began to gently nuzzle her daughter. She had a pale gray pelt with darker flecks, just like herself. Two of the toms also had the same pelts with various shades of pale gray. Her youngest son, the smallest and lastborn kit was dark gray. 

Like his father. He was just missing the tabby stripes.

“Could I name your daughter?” Frostfur asked, “I have a lovely name in mind.”

“What is it?”

“Fernkit.”

Fernkit. Yes, that's a perfect name.

“I love it Frostfur, thank you.”

Throughout the night Frostfur laid beside her, her own kits slept in Goldenflower ‘s nest with Swiftkit, all curled together sleeping against the golden queen.

The memory of the birth faded as dawn slowly arrived. Her body was sore and she was exhausted, but she didn’t want to sleep. She wanted to watch her kits all night. So she did. All while she thought up names. With Fernkit already named, Brindleface decided she wanted her sons to be named after things in the forest.

“Is Tulipkit a good name?” She whispered.

“Yes,” Frostfur whispered back. “It’s a cute name.”

For her eldest son, the palest of the three with flecks, she named him Ashkit. Frostfur had asked why and she shrugged that it was after the pale bark of an ash tree. It was partially true. In truth she named him after the ash tree she and Darkstripe hunted the crow under all those moons ago. The act that cemented their friendship. 

Ashkit, Tulipkit, Fernkit and… one more kit to name.

Dawn’s glow slowly brightened the camp outside when Bluestar and Whitestorm stepped into the nursery. Brindleface raised her head and greeted her leader. It was a custom for the leader to visit the clan’s new kits first, then the rest of the clan could start to come and see them. 

“Hello Brindleface, are you well?”

“I am Bluestar, and so are they.” She brushed her tail over them.

Bluestar looked down at the kits, “Spottedleaf told me three toms and one she-kit right?”

Brindleface nodded.

“They look like they’ll be fine warriors,” Whitestorm spoke up. His amber eyes glowing with delight. “Congradulations.”

“Thank you Whitestorm,” she murmured.

He dipped his head then turned and squeezed out of the nursery. Bluestar dipped her head as well, “Welcome to ThunderClan young kits. You have been born to a great Clan… and a wonderful mother.”

Bluestar leaned in close to her, “I assume you’d like to continue to keep the father’s identity quiet?”

Brindleface swallowed and nodded.

“Alright.”

With that she straightened and left the den. She thought she’d have some more quiet after but Graypaw poked his head in to see the kits. Brindleface purred and let him see them, when he left Firepaw came in as well. He was kind to leave quickly so she could rest. She really wanted to sleep now. Brindleface laid her head on her nest and closed her eyes.

She couldn’t really sleep despite the exhaustion, so she merely rested. She later heard Goldenflower and Frostfur pad out of the den. She heard Speckletail’s hush voice tell someone that she and her kits were resting, then silence once again.

Brindleface looked at her belly, the kits were sleeping. Ashkit and Tulipkit were lying against her swollen belly. Fernkit was on her back with her tiny legs flailed out and the unnamed tom had his head on her back leg. Their tiny bodies rising and falling with their breaths.

She smiled and ran her tongue over Fernkit’s face. 

Then her ears perked at the sound of paw steps. “Frostfur?” She called out.

A face appeared at the entrance, “Brindleface, can I come in?”

It was Darkstripe. He waited at the entrance and quietly stepped over when she nodded her approval. He sat down in front of the nest and looked with curious eyes at the kits. She wasn’t sure what to say at the moment, it seemed like he didn’t either. The silence stretched between them for a bit longer before he finally spoke, “They look healthy.”

“Yes, Spottedleaf said our only worry is the dark gray tom,” she brushed him with her tail, “He’s smaller than the rest, but if he nurses plenty he should be fine.”

His gaze softened into something so gentle and tender as he looked at the son that shared his dark pelt. Brindleface wondered what he was thinking. 

“Those three have your flecks,” he said, turning to the other kits. 

“They also have names. Those three. The toms are named Ashkit and Tulipkit. Frostfur named the she-kit Fernkit. We decided to name them after the things in the forest,” she rambled.

Darkstripe smiled, “Good names. What about this one?”

“He doesn’t have one yet.” Brindleface stretched her paw and placed it on top of his, “Will you name him?” She whispered.

His eyes widened in surprise, “What about our agreement? We-”

“Only agreed you wouldn’t be named as the father or be involved with the kits. But for the son that looks most like you… please, will you give him a name? Do this one thing for him?” 

He paused for a moment, then dipped his head and nosed the kit. The kit awoke and began mewling, only stopping when he turned his wobbly head and pressed it into Darkstripe’s muzzle. Then fell silent except for his gentle purring. 

As Brindleface watched, she felt a strange sadness. 

I wonder if there was a time in the future, or perhaps another life where we could have been mates, she thought. Where I could have loved him more than a friend, and where he had the desire to be a father. Would we have been a happy family? Like Frostfur and Lionheart? Or my parents?

Darkstripe pulled back quickly as voices from in the camp grew louder and closer to the nursery. He leaned down to her ear and whispered, “Elderkit. For his fur, dark like elderberries.”

He backed away, "Congratulations on the birth, Brindleface. ThunderClan is blessed to have these kits.”

Then he exited the den. She watched him go, the sadness growing. She felt that something would be different in their friendship from now on.

Elderkit. Brindleface licked him as he began to crawl towards her belly with Fernkit to nurse. 

My kits. Ashkit, Tulipkit, Fernkit and Elderkit. 

She pressed her face against them. They were small now, but soon they would grow. From kits to apprentices, then to warriors. 

And she would be there, mothering them every step of the way.