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Kaede woke up with a gasp.
She shot up from her bed, wincing as a thread of pain pierced the side of her leg. She reached to pat it, removing the blankets over her to take a look. Bandages wrapped around her thigh, but she didn’t see any blood. The pain was gone, too. Gently, she undid the bandages and checked again. Other than a faint scar lining her leg, there was nothing.
Kaede looked around. The room was dark. Darker than usual. Even at night it wasn’t this dark. She reached for the electric lamp on the bedside table and clicked. It flickered to life, glowing a weak orange light.
She remembered Dahyun. Where was she? She had told Kaede that she would be there when she woke up. But now, she was nowhere to be seen.
She shuffled out of her bed and looked around. It was quiet. More quiet than usual. Almost too quiet, even for Kaede’s liking. The silence irked her, as if she was the only one around for miles.
An invisible string tugged in her chest and she followed. Feet bare, she left her room, gently closing the door behind her. The long corridor stretched before her—dark, but not uninviting. The other doors were closed. Kaede could faintly see some of them decorated by their occupants. Kim Chaeyeon’s had countless stickers with a smiley face. Of course she would.
Kaede walked. Her feet were light on the carpet floor as she walked. If it weren’t for the invisible string, she would’ve believed her walk was aimless. The light on the walls undulated as the lamp swung back and forth in her hand. It groaned lightly in protest. She could feel the soft carpet underneath her feet. She could hear the slightest of shuffling as she trudged.
She exited the building. Bare feet touched snow, but it didn’t feel cold underneath her. With the lamp, she walked through the sleeping base.
After some time, Kaede spotted the blue jeep and made her way towards it. As she approached it, she caught a smell wafting in the air. She put her head up and took it in. It smelled like freshly baked pastry. She could taste it on her tongue. When was the last time she had ever eaten fresh bread? The only pastry she’d ever eaten were those that would get thrown out at the end of the day.
Kaede’s mouth began to salivate and she swallowed, taking the last strides needed towards the jeep. The light now illuminated the vehicle’s inside.
She spotted a person sitting in the back. Kaede’s breath caught. She already knew who it was.
“Shion.”
Catching her name, Shion turned towards her. Her shoulders relaxed and a gentle smile stretched her face.
“Hi.”
Kaede swallowed. Her arm began to burn from holding the lamp. Shion seemed to notice, as she patted the empty space in front of her.
Her heart beating in her ears, Kaede took the offer, quietly drifting and opening the back door. She crawled into the space and settled down with her legs crossed. Fresh pastry invaded her lungs.
A little cramped, she thought, closing the door and setting the lamp on the side. It flickered again in protest.
They were now face-to-face. With careful eyes, Kaede trailed her gaze upwards to meet Shion’s. The girl looked the same; her tired but hopeful eyes, her prominent dimples, her hair cascading down her shoulders, her bangs falling a little lower over her eyes because she didn’t feel like cutting them. The gentle, understanding smile she wore whenever Kaede talked to her, not as someone who had taken her and used her as a tool, but as someone who wanted to make amends in the only way she knew how to. It all hit a part in Kaede’s heart that she had thought sealed away.
The only thing different about Shion was the large gash on her shoulder. The bite that took her away. Kaede had only learned about it the week after it had happened, having been slipping in and out of consciousness too much, only having been able to eat and drink and be guided to the bathroom. There were no blue scars and no black mold. Just the bite wound.
Kaede leaned over and traced a finger over Shion’s skin, just under the injury. “Does it hurt?”
Shion giggled. It was music in Kaede’s ears. “Not anymore.”
A nod. Kaede lowered her arm and looked back up at Shion, her hands placed in her own lap. She bit her tongue before speaking.
“You left.”
A hum. “I did.”
“I didn’t see you,” Kaede said. A childish bitterness crawled into her heart. “Why did you leave when you knew I couldn’t see you again?”
Shion hummed again, not angry at Kaede’s selfish question, only looking apologetic. “I didn’t have time to think. I just did it. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your apology,” Kaede snapped. “I just… wanted you here.”
Shion chuckled, light and airy, as if Kaede’s indignation was nothing short of silly. Somehow, though, it didn’t hurt Kaede.
“You’re cute, Ede-unnie.”
Kaede’s breath hitched. She clawed against the jeep’s flooring and glared at the lamp. Warmth blanketed her cheeks. She let the compliment rest there for a moment, pooling in her gut, before taking another breath.
“You’re so nice,” she bit, feeling frustrated. “Too nice. I– I told you it would kill you and–” She scoffed and faced her lap. “Two days later? Really?”
Silence. Instead of the orange light, Kaede focused on the shadows dancing around the car. Then, she heard a snort.
She blinked and frowned. “Why are you laughing?”
“Well, if you put it like that…” Shion giggled into her hand.
Kaede pouted. “It’s not funny.”
“It is a little.”
“It’s not. I warned you and you did it anyway. You didn’t listen.”
“Ah…” Shion’s laughter died down, but Kaede could hear the smile in her voice. “I’m sorry. I guess you’re right.”
Kaede flared her nostrils. “Of course I’m right. I’m always right about these things. Give too much, and they’ll take everything. Ask for too little, and they’ll give you nothing. Be too nice, and they’ll hurt you. That’s just how it is.”
“What if someone’s too mean?”
Kaede opened and closed her mouth. She didn’t respond. She didn’t like the answer, even if it was how she had survived all these years.
Then you’ll be alone.
“Why would you give your life to someone else?” she asked instead, picking at her nails.
“Because I love them,” Shion answered without skipping a beat. Kaede’s eyes widened slightly. She let go of her iron grip against the floor and exhaled slowly, waiting for Shion to finish. “And because I love them, it makes it all worth it.”
There had been absolutely no hesitation in her voice; Shion meant every word that she said. Maybe to anyone else, it was a simple answer with not much to think about, but it threw Kaede way off balance. This girl, nothing like her, was shocking at every turn.
“You really are…” Kaede trailed off, fighting the smile touching her lips. She scoffed. “Unbelievable.”
She heard laughter. Airy, high-pitched, unapologetic laughter. Shion laughed because was not one bit sorry for who she was.
Kaede herself broke into a short chuckle. It was an odd feeling in her lungs, actually laughing and not pretending. Her eyes drifted back to Shion’s arms, to the bite on her shoulder, then to the scars slicing her skin below. Even after that, Shion had chosen kindness.
Shion smoothed herself out with a quiet hum. Keeping her smile, she asked, “Do you have any other questions, Ede-unnie?”
“I–” Kaede hesitated. She clasped her hands and sighed. “...How do you do it?”
Shion hummed and leaned back into the wall, eyeing the ceiling. She exhaled gently. “Even when things get difficult, you have to fight for what’s right.”
The car brightened. Yellow light seeped into the windows and spread through the cramped space. Kaede glanced outside. The sun was beginning to rise, drawing colour and shape into the trees. It hit her skin and she held it in her palms, watching it dance between her fingers.
“I have to go,” Shion suddenly announced, turning to the window and letting the sunlight touch her face. It phased through her and it almost looked as if she was fading away.
Kaede’s eyes widened. She quickly pushed herself forward.
“Shion, wait.”
Shion perked up and turned towards her. “Yes?”
Kaede froze. She didn’t really know what she wanted. But watching Shion slowly fade with the background, she scrambled to find anything to say.
“Are you happy?”
A small pause. Shion blinked. Kaede could see the jeep’s wall behind her, and she worried the girl would poof before she could say anything.
Instead of an answer, though, Shion asked, tilting her head to the side. “Are you?”
Blank. Kaede’s mind drew a blank. She hadn’t expected Shion to ask her the same question and her mind drew a blank. She snapped her eyes around, hoping that it would help somehow, but she couldn’t find an answer in time.
Shion placed a hand on her shoulder, but it wasn’t quite all there and it weighed nothing. She smiled gently.
“Live your life well, Ede-unnie.”
The last thing Kaede saw was Shion’s smile, all her warmth directed towards her, all her love given to her. A homemade sunrise just for her.
Then, Shion disappeared and sunlight took her place. Kaede was alone in their jeep again. Her stomach twisted, but it was a good twist. She placed her hand on her chest, feeling her heart beat steadily into her fingers. Her shoulders relaxed. She wondered what Shion’s favorite pastry was.
Kaede fluttered her eyes open.
Gently, she rose from her bed, wincing as a dull ache pulsed in her leg and fingers. Her injuries had returned. She was back in the apocalyptic world.
Kaede looked around and immediately noticed Dahyun, curled over with her head on the mattress, still sitting on the wooden chair. The posture looked uncomfortable, but the woman didn’t seem to mind from the way she snored slightly, drool trailing down her mouth.
The room was glowing a pale orange from the morning sun. It made Kaede’s shoulders relax. It felt warm. She kept her eyes on Dahyun. The woman had kept her promise after all; she had stayed the entire night.
Kaede reached out and gently shook Dahyun.
“Hm– oh!” Dahyun rose up, startled, before relaxing and wiping the drool from her mouth. “Sorry, I fell asleep. Good morning, Kaede.”
A gentle smile stretched Dahyun’s face. Kaede’s heart fluttered and a knot formed in her stomach. The room seemed a little brighter. There was a lingering smell of freshly baked pastry wafting in the air.
Dahyun was right. It was a good morning. Kaede smiled, too.
“Good morning, Dahyun-unnie.”