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His room was a mess, it had been since he had moved in with Grian and Mumbo over a year ago. Dusty moving boxes were stacked in multiple corners of his room; and scars draws were overfilled with messy clothes. So much so that when she had new clothes cleaned, rather than trying to stuff them away, they'd usually end up on her bedrooms floor. Scars tried to clean it but every time she had started and or attempted to start, he either got distracted, usually by his friends/roommates, or she just gave up near the start. Not this time though, Grian and Mumbo were going out - “one a date?” Scar remembered teasing and mocking - so no distractions there, and even if he felt like giving up before she even started, she would fight that urge - surely she'll be fine - she had already folded the clothes on her floor into neat stacks on his bed, and she was nearly finished with her draws, and after she's done with that she can put the many stacks of clothes lying on his bed in his draws! Then once that task was completed to his satisfaction all he had to do was sort out the moving boxes. Opening her one of the brown draws with a pull of his tanned hand, Scar lifted her other hand to his face and rubbed one of his emerald sparkling eyes, briefly pulling his head back in a groan “What a chore” she complained and whined as he returned her focus back from the roof and to the draw in front of him. Reaching a tanned hand down into his draw it quickly felt itself hit a feeling of fabric, wrapping and curling her tanned hand around the unfolded article of clothing she lifted and raised her hand up, lowering it down closer to his heights level and she placed the piece of clothing - a t-shirt - to the side for later organisation. Scar knew that they'd probably be very much easier and much more efficient ways to do this/fix his problem, but could not wrap her brain around what at the moment - sure he could try look it up, but if he did, do you really think he won't get distracted - Scar definitely thought so and she did not want to take that risk at the moment.
After what felt like an eternity or a million years Scar was just about done folding her second last item - then she can finally fold her last item and put all her clothes in their respective draws - and it only took him 2 hours, that was pretty quick!
Thoughts filled scars smiling mind and filled it with ideas on what she can finally do when he's done with the draws/clothes and by extension - her room - finally after over a year she can sleep in and enjoy a clean room.
Chipper at the thought of being almost finished overrode scars lingering feeling of overwhelming tiredness. Finally finished folding his previous item, Scar practically skipped over to the top draw, scrunching his hand around and finally, for the last time, pulled/lifted the last piece of clothing from her draws. She contained her way to his green sheeted bed, a routine she had grown used too/accustomed to by now, and once he was there, he happily proceeded to fold the last piece of clothing from her draws, and once she knew all the folding was done - scar let out a sigh of relief, a sigh that he didn't even know he was previously keeping back. Picking up one of the many piles of clothes and placing it in its respective draws, Scar was finally glad that the difficult part was over.
“Finished!” Scar spoke to herself in satisfaction once the last stack of clothes left the hold of her arms, closing the brown draw in front of him, Scar moved backwards and just let himself breath and think for a while. Scar had managed to clean both his floor and draws, and he couldn't be happier with himself, she did it, he finally did it, he had finished her ro- no he hadn't. Shooting her emerald death glare across to the right side of his room, Scar made sure she looked (or glared) back and forth in between each stack of boxes every few minutes- He just wanted to be done - why couldn't she just be done? - oh can't she just do that tomorrow!
Almost on cue or like she was reading scars thoughts, Scar could feel a soft brush of fluffy fur nuzzle and graze his scarred leg, locking her emerald coloured eyes on the adorable cat at her feet, Jellie moved almost immediately from her station there and approached one out of two of the dusty moving boxes, and using their small slight wooden gaps and edges, Jellie climbed her way to the top.
Scar guessed that was probably a sign she should still work on cleaning the boxes out and getting rid of them - even if he really didn't want to, Scar approached one of the corners of boxes - the opposite corner of boxes to the one Jellie had climbed to the top of. Opening the first box in front of her with a lazy move of her hand, he found himself simultaneously growing slightly confused, and also strangely relieved, the cardboard box in front of her was dirt empty, nothing in sight. If most of her moving boxes were empty he'd be done in no time - after all, all the brunette would have to do is gather all boxes and place the boxes in the designated recycling area, and then he would be done - she could finally relax. Lowering his scarred arm below the box and lifting with as much strength as her tired body could handle/muster, she eventually had raised it high enough that she could throw it to its temporary place in his doorway.
It took longer than Scar thought it would to - technically just restack the boxes in his doorway - organise the stack of boxes previously in the corner, given the fact that much to Scars dismay, not every box had been as empty as the first box he had opened. Scar glared emerald eyes to the sorted stack in his doorway, briefly pondering the question if he should sort the other boxes and then take to the recycling, or take the first stack out and then work on the next stack - Scar chose/made you her mind on the latter. Arms lowering low under the heavy stack of empty boxes - why they were heavy despite not having anything in them was beyond Scar - and with a heavy pull/thrust of his arms upwards, Scar lifted the cardboard moving boxes, taking extra care to make sure one of the boxes didn't end up falling onto the ground as she walked out of his room.
“Jellie you're gonna have to move”
Scar spoke to her cat with as much care and love in his voice as possible, not even trying to fight back the dorky smile approaching the does of her mouth as she talked. Jellie squinted her adorable eyes open, awoken from her comfortable slumber by scars voice. Scar raised her scarred arms slowly and picked up his cat into his arms “Its clear you came in here for something - what do you want, Grian told me he fed you before he left so that can't be it” Scar mumbled to both himself and jellie. “Prehaps you want snuggles I can-” Scar cut himself off with a groan, He still has the other stack of boxes. “Nevermind” he sighed, not fully frustrated at his situation, but frustrated enough that it reflected in the underlay of her tone. She lowered his arms to the carpet on her bedrooms floor and let Jellie jump out and escape warm arms. Luckily, Jellie didn't return to her spot on the top box - otherwise Scar would have to move her again, and Scar didn't feel like he had the heart to force her to move again/for a second time.
On her tippy toes trying to see, Scar opened what appeared to be a primarily empty box. Unable to stay on his tipping toes for too long, Scar lifted the box up and moved the box into the middle of his bed, now Scar could finally peek properly into the contents of the box! One item sat at the very bottom of the cardboard box, one item that Scar swore he recognised- wait this is scars stuff! Of course she recognised it. Scar reached down into the box and placed his arm around the item, lifting the item onto her green blankets after he managed to push the cardboard box out of the way and to the other side of the bed. The item scar had laying on his bed in front of him was a familiar photo album she had previously long forgotten, Scar vaguely remembered/recalled that he started the album at age 17, and had either lost or forgotten about it 2 years ago - and from what Scar briefly got to see of the outside, for a 17 year old, the album was surprisingly neat and well kept together.
With not much thought and definitely giving into his impulses, Scar sat herself down suddenly next to the photo album - Scar knew exactly what drove him to do this, what drove her to open up the album - Scar knew she would regret it too but - she missed her, a lot - so badly. Scar lifted and raised the album onto his lap and took a deep breath. Scar hesitated before he opened the album, almost as if she was rethinking his choices for a second - but even if she had doubts about it, he still ended up opening the album with a flick of his hand. The first page had quite a few pictures scattered around the two pages, photos both in and out of school. Most of the first two pages were filled with group photos, and in all of them Scar was never being left alone with just one person. Scar flipped the page again once he felt that he was done taking in the albums first two pages, and then again when he found himself done with the third and fourth pages, which were similarly arranged with group photos. The next two pages after page three and four were what Scar was dreading - but it was also why Scar opened the album up in the first place - Practically every picture (minus 2) was of Scar and Jimmy alone together, as Happy and naive as ever - Jimmy's smile, her smile was the brightest out of the ground- actually it was the brightest smile Scar had ever seen, and it was filled to the brim with love. Pictures of the two kissing almost couldn't portray how gentle and soft Jimmy's kisses actually were- although the only person Scar had kissed had been Jimmy herself, Scar knew Jimmy was the best kisser and nobody alive could ever compare or compete.
No one alive would ever kiss like that again, nobody alive would love Scar like that again - Scar had lost the best, most cheerful and kind girl - someone she felt so lucky to have - a year ago. It was pointless to ask about the “what ifs”, Scar knew that - but Scar couldn't help but have questions like that appear and plague his thoughts and mind on occasions. What I'd Scar had helped more, somehow - what if Scar wasn't so useless - What I'd Scar had actually somethin-
He was crying, tears fell from his emerald eyes and into the albums pictures repeatedly every minute or so. Scar lifted his arm to cover both of his emerald eyes and she used her shirts sleeve to wipe his eyes- she chose to look - he knew Jimmy would show up - he couldn't get upset that quickly.
Scar turned the page over and could feel an underlying feeling of relief subtly wash over her - the next page, obviously held photos of Jimmy and her - but it was a lot less than the previous page. Emerald eyes trying to stray away to pictures of Jimmy, Scar fought back and tried to keep his gaze on any other photo. Photos from his 18th birthday filled his emerald vision - guess she started this closer to her birthday/into his late days of being 17. Scar laughed as he remembered a conversation he had with Jimmy later that day, the day of her 18th birthday - a conversation detailing her nerves of becoming an adult, growing up and becoming responsible- something that seemed so silly nowadays and in hindsight - now that he had been an adult for many years. Scar remembered the comfort Jimmy gave her alongside the warmest hug Scar had ever felt - Jimmy's told him it would be fine, and looking back, she was right, of course she was right, Scar ended up fine - he had a house over her head, a stable food source and amazing friends.
Scar finally let his gaze wander to Jimmy's photos, he was already thinking about Jimmy, why bother holding back looking at her too. Jimmy was almost angelic, the blonde truly glew in every photo she was in - Jimmy's was just a beautiful person in general, inside and out - and if Scar had to choose out of the two of them who should've been the one to live, Scar would've swapped their places- - Jimmy was everything Scar wasn't, Jimmy was a good person unlike Scar, why Scar wasn't the one to die confused her - and frustrated her greatly- it should've been him.
Scar once again was unaware what her body had been doing- his tanned hand tightly grabbing and scrunching up the laminate producing the pages edges. Scar let go of his grip on the page and leaned her body backwards , conventionally hitting onto the box behind him. “This was a bad idea” Scar muttered quietly to herself, eyebrows wrinkling on his scarred face.
Her head leaving its place leaning back with the rest of his tanned body and staring back onto the album on his lap, she felt another sigh leave his lips briefly.
He turned the page again and was surprised at the sight before his emerald eyes- one had a piece of paper, filled and covered to the brim with written text, and the other page exclusively held pictures of a young blonde- Jimmy. Scar started with the letter, focusing on reading words Scar from the past had written.
The contents of the letter screamed loverboy, it was a written rant on every small detail Scar grew to love and appreciate over the years, the way Jimmy laughed - even at Scars stupidest jokes, the way she was the most kind hearted person and how Scar couldn't imagine a happy life without Jimmy and how he wanted to know and apart of Jimmy's life forever
Any other person would read that and label it sickenly sweet, - and Scar would've previously done so too if he had reread the love letter over a year ago - but now it was bitter-sweet at best, it tugged at the brunette's heart and he couldn't but feel - sad about it. It was no mystery why - but such a sweet letter getting such a sad reception when it was probably written and meant to be met with a happier response also deepened Scars feeling of upset.
Scar lifted the bum up to her scarred face once his tanned arm had a tight hold and grip on the album, he closed his emerald eyes and leaned forward, her lips planting a kiss on one of the pictures. Scars' eyes remained closed until the album returned to her lap. It wasn't the same as an actual kiss from Jimmy, but was all Scar had left, he wouldn't feel Jimmy's sweet lips again - and Scar had grown used to that - It's not like she cared - she didn't!
Still it was nice to pretend he had just kissed Jimmy again- for the first time in a year- Just for now. He knew it wasn't true deep down but does it hurt to pretend?
Scar felt his stare linger for much longer on these set of pictures than the others - something about the array of Jimmy pictures alluring to him - Honestly though that wasn't surprising to him.
Jimmy's glowing presence would forever be captured in these photos- forever young and always stunning, just like Scar remembered. Scar kept her forest green stare glued on and lingering on the page, unmoving besides from his subtle breathing, that was until scar made a decision, a decision to slip her tanned hand under the laminate covering both the front and back of the photos. He slipped one of the photos sat at the pages top into his scarred hand cautiously, not wanting to rip the perfect picture. Carefully, Scars hand had successfully left the laminate cover it was under and he held one of the pictures. He, smiled, a soft, and subtle smile, Scar was in a way, glad he found the album- it made him sad as hell, she would probably shred even more tears as time passed, but he also got to, in a way, relive the memories he had with Jimmy - was he sad he could only relive past memories and not create and form new ones, yeah - but what was she meant to do about it - this was unfortunately the best she had.
Scar didn't realise how much time she had lost to looking through the album, but the next he had taken a break to give a quick glance outside through her rooms windows, it was dark out. Scar had given up on holding back his tears long ago, the more he looked the more the overwhelming feeling of despair and upset grew - but she couldn't stop- he couldn't stop himself from turning page after page, somewhat captivated by the album and its pages. Most of the pages were filled by pictures of Jimmy - and Scar missed her so much.
A knock could be heard emerging from the outside of Scars room, causing Scars back to straighten and jolt up in surprise “Wait a sec!” He called out after yet another tearful sniffle. She scanned around his spot on his bed while tears remained falling from her scarred face, looking for a place she could hide the photo album - he opted for under one of his white pillows, lifting the pillow with a tanned hand quickly and stuffing the album underneath. Once he had squirmed her arm out from under a soft pillow her arm immediately shot up and wiped every inch and corner of his scarred face.
“Scar?” The British voice of Grian called, still awaiting a better response from within the room. Scar leapt to her feet suddenly, quickly dashing to his bedrooms door and twisting the handle, and by extension, her door wide open.
“Hey!” She nervously chuckled
“I was just gonna tell you we were back- have you been crying?”
“what no of course not!” More awkwardly nervous chuckles left his lips
“Are you sure?” Blonde eyebrows wrinkling and burying into Grians pale face - Scar could immediately feel a pit in his stomach drop at the thought at Grian worrying about her.
“Yes I'm fine” He insisted, trying (and failing) to put up a fake smile as a front.
Grian switches the look he gave Scar, no longer were his eyebrows scrunched in on his face in worry, but instead one of them had lifted - almost giving Scar a look - scolding? Her- a look disapprovingly questioning “do you want to try not lying to me?”
Scar, didn't want to crack - especially in front of his friends - but Scar had been crying, he already felt so vulnerable.
“Yeah” scar mumbled ,almost as if it was below a whisper
Scars eyes darted to the ground as the words of admitment muttered out
“What happened Scar? Are you okay?”
“- I… - I-” Scar stammered the start of her sentence out but struggled to continue, both from the tears beginning to well in his eyes again, and also from a struggle to find the words in his brain to explain. “...grian can I just have a hug”
The answer to Scars question wasn't left unanswered for long- in fact, it was answered quite quickly as the shorter man wrapped both his arms around Scar and her back in a tight embrace- Scar couldn't help but feel slightly better already, her weak smile was genuine unlike his previous attempt at a smile before. Although difficult due to Grians and Scars differences in height, Scar tried to burying her face in Grians shoulder.