Chapter Text
As public practice closed the various Skaters competing in skate Canada began to file their way out of the rink.
Yuuri leaned into Victor, wrapping his hand around his waist placing it in his opposing pocket. Victor tried to conceal his smirk since the hall was still filled with other skaters reporters and fans alike
“We should get something to eat” Victor leans his head slightly into Yuuri and is very happy to feel Yuuri do the same
“Yeah where should we GAHHHHAHAH” Yuuri makes the noise equivalent to a surprised sheep Victor perks his head up to see a set of sparkling green eyes and sparse facial hair
“Chris!” Victor smiles before dropping his smile and giving him a death glare
“Hands off that butt belongs to me”
Chris releases and deep cavernous laugh Putting his hands up before Victor goes to give him a hug
“How’s ‘Coach Chris’ doing?” Victor smiles pulling away gently before reclaiming his spot at Yuuri’s side
Chris announced his retirement shortly after Victor had, he had decided to pursue coaching.
“I’m just assistant coaching with Meier until I get enough experience to take on my own students, not everyone can fly across the world to coach their drunken fling” Chris teases gently
“You did well today Yuuri! I almost didn’t recognize you” Chris smiled when Yuuri turned red, hiding his face in Victor’s neck, Victor laughed softly placing a kiss on Yuuri’s head
It has been a tough few years for them, Yuuri’s mental illness had proved to be an uphill battle and Victor had struggled with his own insecurities as well. But the clouds felt like they had been clearing and finally would stay clear. Yuuri had been working hard to get to a safe place and Victor had been trying his best to support him while also taking care of himself. The peace in their lives felt so needed, and they both cherished it, thankful they had each other.
“He’s been doing so well this season, couldn’t ask for a better student” Victor wraps his arms around Yuuri making a big show of his pride
“Victor! The seasons barely started yet you can’t say that” Yuuri groans just causing Victor to laugh
“And here I thought you were confident after morning practice” Victor goes to kiss him Yuuri playfully leaning back trying to make him work for it
“While I love seeing your very clear love, I have to ask if I can invite myself to lunch with you guys, Meier isn’t doing anything this afternoon and I will be dreadfully bored until the event”
Victor looks over at Yuuri, as much as Victor would enjoy Chris’ company, Yuuri is the one competing and already gets nervous around meal times, especially during competitions, He doesn’t want Yuuri worrying about Chris eating with them. But to Victor’s relief a warm smile fills Yuuri’s face.
He really is doing a lot better.
“Sure we’d love for you to join!” Victor can feel Yuuri’s genuine joy and lets his own worries subside as Chris begins to walk with them.
`
They talk about Chris deciding to be an assistant coach and his plans for getting actual students. They talk about how Victor’s retirement has been going and what they’ll plan to do once Yuuri retires after this year's world championships. It’s easy to talk about these things together. Very little room for silence between them.
“I think I just need a bit of time to settle before deciding to jump into any big career choices, Victor talked about co-coaching but I don’t know how good at it I’d be, I just kind of have to test the waters a bit, I do have a degree in business so maybe I can use that..” Yuuri was rambling a bit as he ate his eggs and toast. They ended up deciding on some diner close to their hotel, trying to fill up empty time in the day. The chatter continued before a little boy holding a composition book walked up to their table, he couldn’t have been older than 5 or 6, the conversation slowed as he just stared at them before opening his mouth
“Oh-hay-o! M-Mr. Katsuki!” He spoke nervously looking back over his shoulder at a woman, assumed to be his mother giving him a big thumbs up. Victor felt something warm light up inside him.
“Hi! What’s your name?” Yuuri asked softly, turning to fully face the boy, “Your Japanese is good!” Yuuri’s politeness and kindness were always made most clear whenever he talked to kids, Victor felt the warm glow move up to his cheeks watching them.
The boy smiled, face turning a little red, and looked back at his mom and then back at Yuuri, the nervous smile getting bigger, “I’m Elijah!” Victor looked over at the boy's mom who was giving him a big thumbs up
“S-sorry to bother you but!” The boy suddenly pushed his composition notebook towards Yuuri who accepted it clumsily but then laughed gently. Victor saw a small light spark in Yuuri’s eyes, the book had various stickers on it, all related to figure skating in one way or another.
“W-when I grow up! I want to b-be a figure skater just like you!” Victor could feel his heart skip a bit “Y-you’re my favorite figure skater…can you please sign! Um!” The boy clearly looked very nervous but Yuuri nodded gently, he was so calm around kids weirdly, a soft different kindness that rarely anyone ever saw, this included Victor
“I’d be happy too! Here let me make sure I spell your name right!” Yuuri got up from the booth crouched right beside the boy, opening the book to make sure he could see him signing it. Victor had to keep in the light chuckle inside him. Yuuri looked so cute, the boy was practically glowing while also being bright red, he reminded him of Yuuri. He looked up at Chris who was staring at him, a confused look on his face.
“What?” Victor mouthed to him not saying anything out loud that just caused Chris to smirk, wiggling his eyebrows slightly which just earned him an eyeroll
“There you go Elijah!” Yuuri smiles brightly and the boy looks absolutely over the moon he looks back at his mom waiving the notebook in the air, Victor looks over at her quietly clapping at his Victory
“Do you want me to take a picture for you? If you grab your mom’s phone I’d be happy too!” Victor offers, the boy looks up, still glowing after his interaction with Yuuri and absolutely no recognition for Victor, which was more refreshing than Victor thought it would be.
The boy nodded his head emphatically before running to the other table “Mom can I use your phone he said it was ok to take a picture” He grabbed the fabric of his mother’s skirt tugging it gently towards the table where the three men sat.
His mother comes up smiling “thank you so much, I know you must be busy with the competition, Elijah had been asking to come as soon as he found out you were assigned here” She smiled bowing her head gently as if she were apologizing Victor felt so much pride envelop his body. The Yuuri he met 8 years ago at the banquet would’ve never imagined that people would recognize him over The Victor Nikiforov. Victor smiled to himself, he hadn’t been Victor NIkiforov in a long time.
Yuuri gently wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulder, holding up a peace sign and grinning. Yuuri was so gentle whenever he took photos with fans, his shyness subtly sneaking through. Despite that whenever he met with young fans, Victor could almost feel Yuuri’s mind at peace.
“It was nice to meet you Elijah” Yuuri sticks his hand out and Elijah brings his hand up to shake it, looking as though he has touched a God
“Thank you so much” His mom mouths to Yuuri, clearly giddy for her son. Victor notices how she gently squeezes his shoulder. He feels a small yearning as he watches them walk back towards the table, The boy staring at his hand. Eventually Yuuri settles himself back against Victor and the conversation they had before continues. Chris however keeps looking over at Victor, making a subtle smirk each time they lock eyes.
~
“That look was new” Chris muses walking to Victor’s side. Yuuri was in complete focus mode, stretching on the floor with music blasting in his ears.
“What look?” Victor looks over slightly puzzled at Chris
“The look at breakfast” he smiles softly to himself, leaning slightly closer to Victor.
“Considering I am your first real friend, I have every look on your face pinned down, even through that mask of yours”
Victor rolls his eyes “the only person who can do that is Yuuri, you’ve been beat once again in second place” Victor jabbed, elbowing him in the ribs
Chris laughed lightly, “I don’t think even Yuuri could figure out that look, usually when you stare at him, you’re overcome with joy…or lust depending on the day”
Victor laughs softly looking over at Yuuri, who would definitely be bright as a tomato if he had heard that “what are you getting at, I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“The look when Yuuri met that boy today, it was different than normal, a little whimsy a little yearning”
Victor tried to keep his face neutral, but he felt his heart drop into his stomach “I don’t know what you mean”
Chris offered him that same smirk he had been giving him all day, “I have a suspicion, does the Victor Nikiforov, Mr. ‘Im strongest on my own’ wants to have kids?”
Victor’s eyes shot toward Yuuri who still had not heard before he ran his hand to Chris’ mouth to get him to immediately stop talking. Chris despite being forcefully shut up, had ‘AH-HA!’ Written all over his face. All the sudden movement caused Yuuri to pick his head up, taking out one of his earphones
“Everything ok?” He asked quietly, Victor sensed the bit of anxiety in his voice
“Everything’s fine” Victor let out a big grin, Chris wiggled his eyebrows and Yuuri’s eyes dashed between the two of them.
“Ok?” Yuuri reluctantly put his headphone back in before going back to stretching
Victor and Chris’ eye’s meet once again. “Not now” Victor mouths, looking back nervously at Yuuri who seemed to be back in his stretching mode. Standing up to jog in place slightly.
“Chris, how are you supposed to learn if you keep running off” Chris’ former coach approached him, placing his hand on his shoulder “Julian will be on soon”
Chris sighed giving Victor a smile “of course, we’ll talk later” Chris winked before walking back to where his own student was stretching “toodaloo!” He waved back before being almost completely out of sight.
Victor sighed and tried to focus his mind back to Yuuri. He felt a pit in his stomach , he couldn’t shake the feeling. Chris was the first person who he had told in one way or another, and if he knew Chris, and he did, he knew he would have to include every detail connected to the recent epiphany.
“Victor?” Yuuri asked quietly again, completely stopping Victor’s train of thought. The younger man came over to Victor from where he was stretching, gently squeezing his arms “Are you sure everything's ok, you look like a space cadet”
Victor smiled down at Yuuri, he still remained to be the only person who could see right through him (despite what Chris believed).
“I’m just thinking, it’s nothing you need to worry about, I promise” Victor tried to reassure him
Yuuri pulled himself closer, whispering slightly “you always say that when it’s something I need to worry about” Yuuri smirked up at him. Victor leaned down to give him a quick kiss, he made to avoid lingering.
“This is your last, first competition in a grand prix, just reminiscing is all” Victor placed his hands gently at Yuuri’s waist “thinking about the first NHK I had as your coach”
Yuuri hummed slightly as if pulling the memory up in his head “You made me cry in the parking lot, that I will not forget” Yuuri teased moving his hands up to rest them against Victor’s shoulders
Victor winced at that “Yuuuriii it was a mistake, you’re so mean to me” Victor whined, trying to steer Yuuri away from the thoughts in his brain, scooping him into a ferocious hug “Maybe I should kiss you on live TV again for old times sake da?” He leaned in to kiss Yuuri before getting hands up to his lips and a laugh
“You are so dramatic” Yuuri’s laugh was so bright, it lit up the entire room, despite Victor being the only one who got to enjoy it. Victor loved Yuuri so much. After this year there would be no more daily practice, no more post skating interviews, no more ISU selected hotels. Just him and Yuuri, for the rest of their lives, being happy. Yuuri finally gave in and let Victor kiss him, this time lingering slightly before breaking off. “Wanna help me with my costume?” Yuuri asked grabbing Victor’s hand
“Your wish is my command” Victor smiled, squeezing it back. Yuuri was finally at peace, happy with where he was and what he wanted. Who was Victor to ruin it with his own selfish desires?
~
Yuuri had performed exceptionally, it was looking like he would go home with first or second before the free program tomorrow. Of course that depended on how the other skaters performed, but Victor was optimistic. A few newer skaters had performed after him. Victor had been tasked with finding seats while Yuuri finished up interviews and got dinner for the two of them. Victor was quite impressed with the seats he had found, a fantastic view of the rink, not too far not too close.
“There's coach Victor” A swiss accented voice appeared behind him. Victor was hoping to avoid Chris for the rest of the night, he loved seeing his friend, but not when he was going to get squeezed like a tube of toothpaste for his secrets. Victor simply smiled at him not saying anything
“You’re that mad at me for figuring it out huh” Chris sighed before climbing over the seats to sit directly next to Victor and pout
“I’m not mad I just” Victor looked around to see if Yuuri was near the stairs or in the nearby seats
“Oh believe me you will not be seeing him for a bit he has interviewers lined up from the kiss and cry to timbuktu” Chris interrupted
Victor could not escape, if there was anyone he should tell, it should be Chris. Chris is his closest friend, his long time podium pal. Victor had no problem telling him, what he did fear was saying his wants out loud, because then, it would be a lot harder to pretend that he didn’t yearn for it. Victor gulped nervously, making one final sweep with his eyes around the stadium for Yuuri, once deciding the coast was clear, he took a deep breath.
“Victor, love, you’re telling me you want to have children, not that you hit my cat with your car” Chris teased, trying to ease Victor’s very apparent nerves
“Was it that obvious” Victor sighed, still not being able to bring himself to say it
Chris thought for a moment “Maybe to me, I’ve seen you oogle over Yuuri loads of times, but this was…different, I’m honestly more shocked Yuuri hasn’t picked up on it yet”
Victor laughed to himself, “Yuuri can pick up whenever something is wrong, but very rarely can he pick up on, everything is so right that the future I imagined for us is now so much bigger than I ever thought” Victor dropped his head down to his lap, where he looked at his ring, it seemed to shine brighter recently. “I never expected to have any of this, you know, if it weren’t for Yuuri…” Victor didn’t want to continue down that line of thought, luckily he didn’t need too
“I’m also quite shocked if I’m being honest, wanting children seems..out of character for you” Chris’ joking tone that always flared his voice faded like it usually did when he actually wanted to talk to Victor.
As much as Victor wanted to be offended, it was something he was used to hearing. Considering the majority of his teens and young adulthood were spent thinking of solely himself and making the universe revolve around him, it wasn’t shocking to hear that those close to him didn’t think caring about something that deeply was something he was capable of.
“I mean, I was already pretty shocked when you flew across the world for an apparent fling, you remember how much shit I gave you” Chris chided elbowing Victor’s side
Victor remembered all too well, “yes and I’m sure you remember how I didn’t talk to you for a week after because of how much that hurt” He didn’t want to look at Chris, the anger still apparently fresh.
“It was out of a place of love for Yuuri, you were the first serious relationship he ever had, if it wasn’t as serious for you as it was for him, you know he wouldn’t have recovered” Chris’ tone was dead serious. Victor knew he was right, Yuuri’s heart was still made of glass after all
“I know that but I had never treated any relationship like that I thought you’d have some faith in me” Victor felt himself getting angry all over again
“I know, I know, I can see that now, especially with Yuuri getting sick, your dedication to him never faltered” Chris gently rested his hand on Victor’s shoulder, sensing he was opening closed wounds, “I guess I shouldn’t be as shocked as I am that you’re becoming more domestic, you’ve always been the more mature one between the two of us” Chris smiled “Why haven’t you told Yuuri you want kids, I’m sure he’d be open to it.”
Victor was quiet, not wanting to admit to his selfishness
“If anything I was more expecting to have a conversation like this with Yuuri rather than you. I was sure Yuuri would want kids and you would be the one hesitant to the idea”
Victor laughed slightly “That’s what I thought too” He stared down at his shoes “that’s why when the conversation first came up, I was relieved to hear that Yuuri wasn’t interested in having kids” Victor felt his stomach twist up into a ferocious knot. Having to come to terms with his selfish wants felt awful.
“Come again?” Chris asks, Victor despite not looking at him can almost taste the shock pouring out of him. He finally gained the courage to look at Chris in the face
“A few months after our wedding, Mari made an off-hand comment about us having kids” Victor gulped, feeling like he was swallowing a rock “I had been avoiding the conversation because I assumed Yuuri would want kids and I-I hadn't wanted to disappoint him, so when he told me he didn’t want kids, I was relieved because I wouldn’t take that away from him” Victor paused
“What changed?” Chris asked, fully engaged in Victors words
Victor laughed to himself, trying to distract from the awful knot building inside him “I don't know, one day, all the weird feelings I was having just…clicked?” Victor tried to think back of an exact moment, but it was just a gallery of different memories and weird feelings associated with them “I wanted Yuuri to be a Papa…I wanted to be a Papa..I want to meet and get to know what me and Yuuri’s kid would be like, I want to take care of them” He smiled slightly at the thought of running around the Hatsetsu shore with Yuuri and a kid. The thought of a child sleeping on Yuuri’s chest as they watched TV, Putting birthday candles in a cake, singing happy birthday to a person he was watching grow up right before him, it made him feel all warm and tingly. It was the same feeling he got when he had realized he wanted to marry Yuuri, something so real, so tangible inside him.
Chris looked back at Victor, sympathy could be read all over his face
“It’s selfish of me…to change my mind and put Yuuri in a position that I avoided like the plague. The last thing Yuuri needs right now is another thing to feel bad about” Victor sighed, letting the warm tingly fade away and focus on the guilt knot once again
Chris pursed his lips slightly “You don’t know that Yuuri’s feelings haven't changed too”
Victor rolls his eyes “Because if Yuuri’s known for anything it’s changing his mind” Victor said sarcastically, crossing his arms up against his chest
“I would’ve said the same thing about you not too long ago Victor, you two are more alike than you think” Chris speaks so gently that it doesn't even really sound like Chris anymore, “I can see how much you want this Victor, and locking your feelings in a box has never done you any favors, you know that”
Victor did know that, hiding his feelings just resulted in arguments he didn’t want to have, he had been pretending that he didn’t want to start a family with Yuuri, pretending that he didn’t yearn for it, but at some point pretending would stop working. Victor released a heavy sigh, “maybe you’re right…I’ll bring it up to him at the end of the season, both of us will be retired so, maybe he’ll be able to think about it more clearly” Victor rubbed his hands over his face, trying to forcibly expel his nerves via friction.
Chris smiled, “there you go, who knows maybe he’s thinking the exact same thing and is too scared to disappoint you” The mischievous glint returns to Chris’ eyes “or maybe both of you will realize you have a breeding kink who knows”
Victor punches Chris’ shoulder gently, allowing both of them to burst out into laughter. The end of the season. That’s when Victor would tell him. Only a few months to go.