Chapter Text
It hadn't been raining the night he left. It had been warm, and the air was still as if the night was holding its breath for his escape. The night he'd left, Sirius had accounted for everything but the rain. Starvation he'd accounted for. He packed enough pies, dried meat, fruit and bread to carry him as far as he needed to go. He'd accounted for thirst and temperature as well, taking as many layers of fine clothes as he could fit on his back and bringing with him a week’s worth of water. When he'd left on that warm, tempered evening, he was prepared to face anything that would come between him and the sea. Everything except the rain.
He felt foolish now, wet from head to toe, his garments thoroughly soaked through, freezing to the bone on the back of his horse. The rain was coming down in thick sheets of silver that sent his freshly cropped hair streaming into his eyes, and made seeing more than five feet ahead of him nearly impossible. He squinted against the storm, whipping at the reins of his horse, headed in a random direction he hoped would take them out of the storm. A forest, perhaps. Or even a cave. He could have easily navigated to one, if his map had not been completely destroyed by the rain.
It wasn’t long before Sirius and his horse had found themselves on unsteady ground. The grassy field was giving way to puddles of rainwater, making it harder and harder for Algernon to keep up an even trot. Eventually, the horse was fighting back against Sirius's commands, panicked and disoriented, hooves slowly being swallowed by mud.
"Easy, boy, easy!" Sirius tried to calm the manic horse, but Algernon was not the brightest nor the most agile horse in the stable. No, Sirius had selected Algernon on purpose. While he was a fine specimen of a horse, tall and broad with a dark, glossy coat, he was not a good example of the prized stallions owned by the royal family.
He had suited Sirius at the start. He was able to pass through villages without attracting to much attention. But now, Algernon's lack of strength and patience was becoming another obstacle, and Sirius doubted that the horse would be able to make it through the storm at all.
"Come on, just a few miles more..." Sirius said, trying to soothe the side of Algernon's broad neck. "We can find shelter in the trees, they must not be far."
Sirius whipped the reins again, and Algernon was off with an uneven trot, giant hooves splashing through the water. As Algernon went, Sirius did his best to scan all corners of the greyish horizon. The rain was so heavy he could hardly even tell what time of day it was meant to be. Was it the afternoon? Early evening? Or could it be even later?
They carried on for several hours with no change in direction, until Sirius was colder and more exhausted than ever. Up in the distance, there were shapes protruding from the greyish landscape.
"Trees, Algernon. Not too far ahead," said Sirius, sighing with relief. "Can you make it?"
He kicked the side of his horse gently, and he got his answer. Algernon hurried into a gallop and they were headed for shelter at last. Sirius was tired of being wet. His hands were numb from the cold, and he felt his very bones shivering.
He watched the trees grow bigger and bigger as they approached, and he felt his whole body start to relax. Finally. Rest and warmth and a place to eat a dry meal. Even though he wouldn't be able to start a fire, he knew he stood a better chance of warming up under the trees than he did out here.
Suddenly a sound ripped through the rain that startled both Sirius and his horse. A bark. A deep, rumbling bark made by a very big, very angry animal that Sirius spotted as it sailed through the lengths of tall grass. A wolf?
Wolves were another thing Sirius had not accounted for. He had no practice slaying wolves. What would he do if there were more? Try to take off each of their heads with his sword? It wouldn't work if he was outnumbered. He reached for his sword anyway, seeing as it was his only hope, before he stopped dead at the sight of a giant dog.
A dog might be worse news for him than a wolf. Because a wolf he could kill. But where there was a dog, there was a human. And where there was a human, there was likely another sword drawn, ready to take him down.
Sirius yanked hard on Algernon's reins. "Go, go!" He spluttered, just as the snarling dog had reached the horse's feet.
Algernon reeled up on his two hind legs, flailing his hoofs wildly at the beast, screeching loudly as he did. Sirius was lurched back, losing his balance, his hand slipping down the soaking wet rains at the horse's neck. The dog barked, and Algernon stumbled, and Sirius lost his grip, plummeting to the ground. As he fell, he glimpsed a tall figure appear just behind the dog.
Sirius hit his head hard on the ground knowing he had lost.
♖ ⚔︎ ♖ ⚔︎ ♖
Something warm and itchy pricked his skin. It prickled down the bare skin of his back and it was under his hands too, dry and scratchy, poking into his sweaty palms. It felt like grass, and he remembered being thrown to the ground. He dreaded that he had been left there, baking in the sun while Algernon was being eaten by wolves. His fingers twitched and he realized what he was laying in. Hay. As he slowly came too, his mind felt as though it was swimming around in his head. He felt sluggish, clogged up and dizzy, but at least he was warm, and at least he was dry. But where was he, exactly?
The first thing he saw was the roof of an old barn, lit by gentle sunlight, rotting wooden beams criss-crossing over his head. He didn't hear the droning of rain anymore, only the song of birds outside and the creaking of old wood all around him. Hay shifted somewhere else in the room, and Sirius realized he wasn't alone. He couldn't sit up right away, because as he lifted his head, he felt a sharp pain at the crown in his hair that sent him falling back against his dry bedding with a groan. He heard the stranger approaching, dreading that it was his brother, or James, or even worse, one of his parents. But he was too tired to panic and certainly too injured to move, so he lay there, waiting for his captor to show himself.
But he did not recognize this captor at all. He wasn't a guard, or a knight, or any of the familiar faces from the castle. In fact, he didn't look like he belonged anywhere near a castle at all. His light brown hair was unevenly cut, his face was covered in a thin layer of dust and ground, and he had the deepest brown eyes Sirius had ever seen. They were round, and kind, and full of concern as he carefully leaned over Sirius to inspect him.
"Are you awake?" The boy asked him.
"Who are you?" Sirius tried to get away from him, and only remembered the wound on his head when pain struck him like an arrow. He cursed, falling down again.
"Take care, you're still badly hurt," the boy said.
He put a hand on Sirius's shoulder and eased him back down against the hay. Sirius couldn't do anything but allow it.
He then watched as the strange boy retrieved a moistened rag from a bucket somewhere beside Sirius's bed of hay, and dabbed it lightly along his face. The coolness felt nice on his cheeks, which were burning with fever. It was a welcome relief. Sirius scanned the boy's face, still trying to determine whether or not his gentle touch could be trusted. As he pressed cool water into Sirius’s skin, it didn't seem like he was ready to hurt him, or kill him, or hold him in this barn against his will. It would be easy, seeing as he couldn't even sit up on his own.
"What happened?" Sirius found himself asking.
The boy's eyes met his again, studying him carefully, the tip of the rag in his fingers tilting Sirius's head ever so slightly. "How much do you recall?"
The boy bent down and wet the rag in the bucket again as he waited for Sirius's answer. He pressed it flat on Sirius's forehead, and Sirius couldn't help feeling comforted by the gentleness of the stranger’s touch. Despite the grime underneath his fingernails and the complete strangeness of him, Sirius didn't fight him.
"The last thing I remember, it was raining," he said, his voice hoarse. "And I was looking to go into the trees to find shelter from the storm. That's when a wolf..."
"My dog, Padfoot," the boy huffed and it sounded like a laugh. "He’s no wolf, but he’s as big as one. He thought you and your horse might be a threat. It's not very often that we have visitors."
"I apologize. I didn't realize I was on your land," Sirius said.
"No need to apologize," said the boy, sitting back down beside Sirius's bed, giving him an easy smile. "I like visitors. For once they’re not a fox trying to eat my chickens."
Sirius huffed a laugh, and pain shot up his spine. "So, where am I..?”
"You’re in my barn," said the boy. "I would have kept you in the house, but there was no room in there. I hope that’s alright."
"So I've been asleep for a long time, then," Sirius determined.
"Just a day and a half,” said the boy, but it didn’t put Sirius at ease. He could have covered a lot of ground in that time. “You were sleeping so heavily, I worried you would never wake. That would have been a different problem."
Not for you, Sirius thought, eyes taking the boy in. His dirty skin, his shabby clothes, the hunger that formed dips in his cheeks. He could have done with the reward money. Bringing Sirius back to the castle would result in a prize big enough to earn him a new set of clothes and a guarantee that he would never go hungry again.
There was still time to bring him in. If Remus wanted to kill him for the reward, Sirius was too weak to fight back. Sirius shivered as he imagined himself being thrown in a bag, stiff and cold and dead. He couldn't bear the thought of James being presented with his corpse at the gates of the castle. The plan had been to never see James again, and to never let him know whether he had lived or died trying to escape. That way, if he hadn’t survived, James could live with the hope that he was still out there. That he was free. But that was no use if he was brought back to the head knight as a corpse.
When Sirius turned to face the stranger at his side, the boy was watching him curiously, and suddenly, Sirius realized he could not see recognition in his gaze.
"Do I get to know your name?" the boy asked, and it took Sirius by surprise.
Sirius was still sick from sleep, the fever fogging up his brain, but he quickly re-worked a plan in his head.
"I-It's James," Sirius said quickly, amazed that Remus might not recognize him at all.
Sirius felt only a little bit guilty for taking his best friend’s identity and lying to this boy, but James was always the first person that came to his mind, and lying was alright. He could pretend to be James for a little while. He could stay, and be James in the barn, until he was fit enough to leave again. Then he could be... Well, whoever he wanted.
“James?” Another easy smile spread itself on the boy's face, and Sirius felt a wave of relief as he bought the lie. "Good to meet you, James. I'm Remus.”
“Good to meet you, Remus,” said Sirius.
“Are you from very far away?”
The question made him feel woozy, sending many terrible memories crashing down on him at once.
"Yes… My horse—" Sirius realized with a start. "Where is my horse?"
Remus had a guilty look on his face as he wrung out the rag into the bucket at his feet. "I don't know," he admitted. "He took off in the rain shortly after you fell. I tried looking around for him yesterday and this morning as well, but there was no sign…I'm sorry."
Sirius's head rolled back so he was staring at the ceiling. "Oh," came out of him, along with the rest of his air. He felt completely and utterly trapped.
"I wish I could have gone after him," said Remus, and Sirius could tell he meant it.
"Don't apologize," Sirius echoed vaguely.
A silence passed where Remus allowed Sirius to mourn his horse and his chances of survival.
"He could come back," suggested Remus after some time. "He seems like a well-bred horse. A smart one, too. He might be able to find his way.”
Sirius hummed, not convinced. Remus didn’t know how stupid well-bred horses really were. Perhaps he could buy a horse off of Remus if he had one. He certainly had enough gold, if Remus hadn’t gone through his things and taken it already.
“Where did you say you were from?" Remus asked. “Perhaps I can help you get back.”
Sirius picked up a hint of suspicion in his tone, so he answered quickly. "Up north," he said.
“I see,” said Remus. “You must have been travelling a long time.”
Sirius folded his hands on his belly. “About a week,” he lied.
“That’s a good horse you’ve got, there,” said Remus. “Must have been quite the price.”
"My parents are landlords,” supplied Sirius. That could help to throw Remus off of his trail.
"I see," said Remus. "What are you doing all the way out here, if you don't mind my asking?”
Sirius rolled over again so he was facing the high ceiling of the barn. "Running away from my responsibilities, I suppose."
Remus apparently didn't have an answer to that, and Sirius understood why. Remus’s responsibilities were likely twice as numerous and twice as hard. Running away was something you did if your work meant nothing, and nobody would starve if you went missing. Remus likely couldn't afford to run away from anything. That may be why he decided to help Sirius in that field.
"Are you thirsty?" Remus asked, standing up.
Sirius ran his tongue over his teeth and realized that he was. His throat was gluey with thirst, and he finally connected his headache with the fact that he had not had water in at least two days. "Yes," he said. "Thank you."
Remus came over with a wooden bowl, and when Sirius sat up very slowly to drink it, the blanket that covered his front slipped into his lap and he realized he was completely naked.
He didn't mind right away, and gulped the water first.
"Your clothes are there," said Remus, flushing slightly. He was pointing to an adjacent hay bale that hosted Sirius's folded outfit. "They were soaked through, so I hung them up. It's not safe to sleep in wet clothes, but they ought to be dry now.”
Sirius hummed in agreement, but he still ran hot with embarrassment. As a prince, it wasn't unusual for servants to see him without his clothes. They'd see him naked when drawing him baths or dressing him for the day, but Remus wasn't a servant, he was a complete stranger, and that made Sirius feel incredibly shy.
"Thank you," Sirius said.
Remus smiled and gave a curt nod. This simple gesture reminded Sirius of his servants back at the castle, how each interaction had been strained by their fear of him, how they could never look him in the eye, even when that was all he wanted. He’d been kind to them, friendly and jovial even, but none of them had ever tried to make friends. This loneliness was what came with being a prince, he supposed. But even here, where he didn’t wear that crown, he was still pushed back at arms length.
He could hear the distant tolling of a rusty bell somewhere far off in the field, and Remus quickly set everything down.
“I’m being summoned,” he said. “I have some work left to do around the farm, but I will come back this evening with supper if there is enough for you. Will you be alright here on your own?”
His brown eyes met Sirius’s, and Sirius nodded easily.
“Of course,” said Sirius.
“Good. And, er… Just don’t leave the barn, alright? Mother and Father don’t know you’re in here,” Remus wrung his dusty hands nervously in front of him. “Ma hates landlords...”
“I won’t leave this barn,” Sirius promised, because the last thing he wanted to do was get Remus in trouble for showing him such kindness. This, and he was still quite sure he could not stand upright just yet.
“I’ll see you later, James,” Remus said with a grin and a nod, and soon he was headed down the ladder and out of the barn.
Sirius heard the heavy wooden door creak open and bang shut, and soon heard the bell in the distance cease its clanging. He fell back against the hay with a heavy sigh, the pain at the back of his head not letting itself be forgotten.
As hay prickled the bare skin along his back, and the fever scorched his cheeks, and two days’ worth of hunger raked his insides, Sirius felt utterly hopeless. He was supposed to be at the southern end of the country by now, tasting the ocean in the wind. He decided long ago that that was the true taste of freedom. There was no royalty in the sea. But he was still so far from it, all stuffed away in the hay bales of this dusty old barn, waiting for the inevitable hoof-fall of knights coming to steal him back to the prison they all called his home.
Sirius could only hope that if he fell asleep, he would wake up under the shade of a giant sycamore, with Algernon at his side and the salty taste of freedom only miles away.