Chapter Text
He used to think that Jotaro hated him.
At 5 years old, Josuke had only 3 years of conscious memory of his big brother. His whole life, had known Jotaro by his standoffish nature, sharp tongue, and rough attitude toward their mother. It made Josuke develop a weariness that bled eventually into dislike. Maybe even hatred. He was too young to conceptualize anything more nuanced. Their mother, Holly, would brush off his anger with a playful sigh. He remembers sitting in her lap while they looked through the family album.
“Mama, who is that?” He pointed a small finger to a photo of three people: a woman, a boy, and a newborn baby.
“Why, that’s Jotaro, Josuke, and Mama, of course!” Holly sang as if uplifted by the mere memory of the time the photo was taken.
Josuke scrunched his face in confusion, “that’s Jotaro??”
He’d sooner believe the boy in the picture was his father, who was barely around for Josuke to even remember his appearance. Josuke squinted his eyes and looked closer at the photograph. The boy looked completely different from how he was as Josuke had known him. The soft expression on his face was pointed at the baby in his arms. Josuke knew that was supposed to be himself, but it just made him unbearably confused.
“No it’s not!” he insisted, shaking his head for emphasis.
Holly just smiled, hugging Josuke and rocking him in her lap, “believe it or not, that’s our strong little man!” Holly chimed in that fond voice.
Even so, Josuke continued to feel skeptical. After all, there’s no way Jotaro cared about him! He barely even looked at him even though they lived in the same house. Thinking about it made Josuke feel so overwhelmed that he kicked away the book before Holly could finish turning to the next page. She exclaimed in surprise as he ran off. He felt sorry immediately after, but he didn’t want to see any more. It just didn’t make sense.
That night at dinner, Holly was idly chatting throughout the meal and talking about her day as usual. Josuke was already privy to the details, as he was not yet old enough to go to elementary school and thus had to accompany her whenever she left the house.
Jotaro only gave curt answers when Holly asked him a question about his own day or his plans for the weekend, slowly eating his meal in silence. Josuke stared at Jotaro over his own plate. His older brother was in his loungewear; the hat he usually wore outside was probably put down somewhere in his room. While taking a sip of water, Jotaro caught his eye.
“What is it, brat?” he commanded. But Josuke just went back to eating his food. He rarely called Josuke by his name, opting for titles like “brat” or “kid”. What was his problem? How did that little boy turn into such a meathead? Josuke’s thoughts soon searching for answers, until they settle upon his own existence. It makes him stop chewing mid-bite. Could it be? Did his existence have something to do with his big brother becoming the roughhousing delinquent he’s always know him to be? The timing seems to match up…but….
“Josuke, what’s wrong, sweetheart?” Holly’s attention was now on him. Josuke looks at her and then at Jotaro who was also staring with his cutlery in hand. Josuke just shakes his head and spears a piece of pre-cut hamburger with his fork. Josuke feels like he’s on the road to a big discovery, but not one that makes him feel very good.
Holly started talking again, but the words didn’t land on him as he became stuck in his own thoughts. And his feelings changed from dread to anger. He looked across the table again, this time more discreetly, at his brother. Through silent seething, a few moments of observation gave Josuke a mischievous idea.
He began scarfing down his food, shoveling rice and hamburger steak into his mouth. “My, Josuke, what’s the rush?” Holly asked.
Once again, Jotaro looked up from his half eaten plate to observe Josuke. Hurriedly swallowing, Josuke tried to dispel any suspicion in case anyone figured out what he was up to. “Im hungry,” is the best he could come up with to say.
“I would have given you a little snack before dinner if you asked,” Holly pouted feeling a bit guilty.
Josuke assures her it’s fine and finishes off his food, even making sure to devour the vegetables he usually despised in his fervent haste.
Jumping out of his seat, Josuke gave his thanks for the food and ran out of the dining room, ignoring his mother’s concerned call.
Holly recovered from her confusion in a few seconds. “I wonder if he’s excited to watch one of his favorite anime,” she pointed a finger to her face with a peppy laugh.
Without replying, Jotaro silently looked after where his younger brother dashed off and shook his head.
Making his way through the spacious manor, Josuke crossed the outdoor path and skirted along the edge of the engawa using the experience he gained from following his mother around. The manor was huge. Especially for a five year old. Every time he traversed through it, Josuke felt like he might discovere a whole new world he’d never seen before. But, one place he was familiar with was where the bedrooms were located. Expertly making his way, Josuke soon arrived at his destination. There were more than enough rooms for him to have his own space, but he still slept in the same room as Holly. Jotaro, of course, had his own.
Josuke had been told time and time again not to enter by the both of them, so he had never actually been inside. Though, this isn’t the first time he had been bitten by the curiosity bug, and he would peek inside every now and then when he got the chance. The feeling was stronger than ever before now.
Standing in front of the closed sliding door gave Josuke a sense of foreboding. He knew he was doing something bad, but reason betrayed him. Nothing about Jotaro suggested that he cared about anyone in that house except for himself. The harsh way his brother spoke to their mom always triggered a feeling of rage inside of Josuke that he never expressed out of fear. And now with the idea that Jotaro was acting this way because of him…Josuke just couldn’t take it anymore.
But his goal wasn’t to trash Jotaro’s room or anything.
Slowly, he slid open the door. It glided smoothly, but the shifting noise seemed to echo in Josuke’s ears as if to alert its usual occupant of an intruder. Swallowing thickly, he inched a toe past the doorway, preparing himself for any potential traps Jotaro might have set in anticipation for this moment. But even after easing his entire body inside, nothing happened, and nobody came.
Looking around, Josuke found that the layout of the room matched the manor’s traditional Japanese style. Tatami floors, a sliding closet, and windows that looked as if they were blocked with only paper. Just being there felt like exploring a forbidden tomb to him; even though Holly probably came and went almost every day to do laundry.
Josuke tiptoed around the surprisingly tidy space as quietly as he could. Jotaro’s school uniform as you’ve been hung up on a hanger beside his desk. Moving towards it, he searched through the drawers. He only found items like paper, a pack of cigarettes, and paper. The bottom drawer held books Josuke figured must have been taken from the library they have in the house. All of them were all about fish. Josuke could tell because of the similar images of them swimming through the ocean that appeared on the covers. So he cares about…fish. He was learning so much already.
Moving to the closet, he slid it open with a bit of effort. All that was inside were various articles of hung clothing and some boxes sitting on the floor. He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was there and lifted the lid off of a box. The first one held a pair of shoes, fancy ones like the one he wears to school. But it wasn’t what Josuke was looking for. So far, nothing he’d found was what he wanted. Disheartened, he opened the second box; his eyes widened when they saw what was inside.
It was too dark to see it properly, but the dark lump came into full view when he removed the tricked out hat into the light. Jotaro was always wearing the familiar article any time he went outside despite its damaged and frayed appearance. The back part was so torn up that it looked like it blended right into his hair! Something this important to Jotaro must have answers for him.
Josuke put everything back where he found them and shut the closet door again. That’s when he hears a noise. Josuke’s adrenaline spikes and he quickly shuffles to the door. Peeking his head out he witnesses Jotaro making his way toward him. Josuke felt his heart drop but saw he had a chance when he realized Jotaro was walking with his eyes pointed at the floor.
He used what little time he had to shut the room door without making too much noise, unable to close it all the way for fear of the tap of wood against wood alerting his brother. Ducking into the adjacent room, Josuke hid in the corner where Jotaro couldn’t see him even if he didn’t close the door and smushed the hat against his back against the wall. He waited with his heart pounding in his ears until Jotaro finally entered his bedroom. Even after hearing the tap of the door closing, Josuke sat and waited for his breathing to return to normal.
Once he was sure he was in the clear, Josuke couldn’t help the victorious grin that spread across his face. He covered his mouth with his hands to stifle the laughter that came. He had secured the hat. But, why did he do this?
To be honest, Josuke wasn’t sure if he was trying to get back at Jotaro for being so mean, or if he thought the hat might hold the answers he was looking for. It sure didn’t right then, but now that he had it, he would wait to see what happened next.