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It was almost midnight, and despite the exhausting dance practice that pushed his body to his very limits, Daeyoung couldn’t sleep. His muscles were sore from hours of intense training, but it was his mind that kept him awake. In just two weeks, they would debut as NCT WISH, and the thought of it stirred a mix of excitement and anxiety in him. The pressure, the responsibility, the expectations, it all weighed heavily on his shoulders, and it was hard to escape. Every night, as he tried to shut his eyes, his mind refused to stop racing, and sleep became a distant dream.
If anyone had told Daeyoung just four months ago that he would be preparing to debut as the main vocalist of a boy group under one of the world’s biggest entertainment companies, he would have dismissed it as impossible. His life had been so ordinary. He was just a student who loved music and dreamed of performing on grand stages, but always thought it was something out of his reach. Yet, here he was now, on the verge of debuting as an idol. They had even traveled to Barcelona to shoot their MV a few weeks ago. It all felt surreal, and sometimes, the weight of it all was more than he could bear. The fear of failing, of not being good enough, gnawed at him constantly.
Sighing, Daeyoung pushed his blankets aside and sat up in bed, trying to shake off the anxiety that had settled in his chest. He needed a moment to clear his head. Maybe a glass of water would help. As he walked down the hall, he noticed a faint light coming from the kitchen. Curious, he made his way over and was surprised to find Riku sitting at the counter, snacking on a bag of honey butter chips.
Riku, ever the night owl, was one of the few people Daeyoung felt a special connection with. He got along well with all of their members, but the bond he shared with Riku was something unique, something that went beyond that. It was a comfort, a quiet understanding that had grown over the months of training. They could talk about anything or nothing at all, and somehow, everything felt easier when they were together. Riku’s easygoing nature always seemed to balance Daeyoung’s more anxious tendencies, and in his presence, the weight of the world seemed a little less heavy.
Riku looked up, startled by Daeyoung’s entrance, and laughed. “Oh, hey, Daeyoung. You scared me there for a second.”
Daeyoung leaned against the doorframe, glancing at the bag of chips Riku was munching on. “Management said we couldn’t eat snacks, hyung” he said, his voice carrying a hint of amusement, but also a sense of responsibility.
Riku raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. “Who are you, my mom?” he teased, grinning before offering the bag to Daeyoung. “Come on, you can have some too. I won’t tell anyone.”
Daeyoung hesitated. He wasn’t one to break rules, especially with the pressure of being the least trained member of the group. He wanted to set a good example, to show that he was disciplined and focused. But the temptation was too strong, and there was something comforting about sharing a moment like this with Riku. The connection they had made it easy to let his guard down, if only for a few minutes.
“I don’t think I should” Daeyoung said, still hesitant, looking at the chips with a small sigh. “They told us to maintain our weight…”
Riku rolled his eyes and made a dramatic sigh. “Ugh, Daeyoung! A few chips won’t kill us.” He leaned back in his chair, looking at Daeyoung with a playful grin. “You’re always so serious. Just have some, you deserve it. You work the hardest out of everyone.”
Daeyoung couldn’t help but smile. Riku always knew how to ease his worries and make him feel good about himself. After a moment’s hesitation, he relented. “Fine, only a few then.” He stepped over and took a handful of chips, the familiar sweet-salty flavor instantly calming his nerves.
They sat together in the kitchen, enjoying the quiet of the late hour and the simple pleasure of a midnight snack. For a brief moment, Daeyoung felt his anxiety melt away. The worries about the debut, the pressure to perform perfectly, all seemed to fade into the background. With Riku by his side, he felt a sense of peace, a reassurance that he wasn’t alone in this journey.
When the last chip had been eaten, the kitchen fell into a quiet stillness. The two of them stared at each other in silence that teetered between comfortable and expectant.
“I’m not sleepy at all” Riku finally said.
“Me neither, hyung” Daeyoung replied.
Riku leaned forward slightly, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “We could sneak out.”
Daeyoung raised an eyebrow. They weren’t allowed to leave the dorm at night. “Sneak out? You’re serious?”
Riku shrugged with a devil-may-care grin. “Why not? Rules are meant to be broken sometimes.”
Daeyoung hesitated, but only for a moment. He had already broken the no-snacks rule; what was one more line crossed? His lips curled into a smirk. “Fine. Let’s do it. But grab a hoodie, it’s cold out there. We could head to the Han River, it’s not far.”
“You’re such a rebel now!” Riku laughed, standing up to go rummage through his closet. His tone was teasing but warm, clearly enjoying this side of Daeyoung.
A minute later, with hoodies zipped up and the dorm keys in hand, they slipped out into the night. The ten-minute walk to the river felt even shorter with their quiet chatter and occasional laughter breaking the quiet of the streets.
When they arrived, the Han River stretched out before them like a mirror reflecting the city’s scattered lights. The weekday meant there were barely any people around, just a few late-night joggers and the occasional cyclist. The world seemed to slow down just for them.
Without warning, Riku poked Daeyoung’s cheek and grinned. “Catch me if you can!” He took off running, his laughter carried by the gentle wind.
Daeyoung shook his head, feigning exasperation before sprinting after him. It didn’t take long before he caught up, wrapping his arms around Riku and spinning him slightly.
“You’re fast, but not faster than me, hyung” Daeyoung teased as they both caught their breath, their laughter filling the quiet space around them.
Riku flopped down on the grass, patting the spot beside him. “Okay, okay, you win. Come sit. I have something for you.”
Daeyoung lowered himself to the ground, curiosity lighting up his face. “What is it?”
“Close your eyes” Riku instructed with a mischievous grin.
Daeyoung complied, though his heart raced with anticipation. What could it be? For a fleeting moment, a wild thought crossed his mind: What if Riku kissed me?
It was absurd, he had always thought of himself as straight, but the idea didn’t make him uncomfortable. If anything, it left a strange warmth in his chest.
Before he could dwell on it, something soft and fluffy was placed in his hands. He opened his eyes to find a small, dark plush cat with a headband and exaggerated muscles stitched onto its little body.
Daeyoung chuckled. “It kind of looks like you, hyung. Well, minus the muscles.”
Riku rolled his eyes and gave Daeyoung a playful shove. “I saw it while shopping and thought it looked like a mix of you and me. It’s like our lovechild.”
Daeyoung’s cheeks turned slightly pink at the word lovechild, but he smiled nonetheless. “I really like it. Thank you. I don’t have anything for you, though. Now I feel bad.”
“Don’t worry about it” Riku said with a dismissive wave. “Sing me a song and we’ll call it even.”
Grinning, Daeyoung broke into a dramatic rendition of 2AM’s This Song, his voice rich and heartfelt. The overly sentimental delivery and the lyrics that oddly fitted the situation made Riku burst into laughter, nearly falling back onto the grass.
“You’re hilarious sometimes” Riku said, his eyes crinkling with amusement.
Daeyoung grinned, his chest warm with the easy friendship between them. As the laughter faded, the two gazed out at the water. In the comfortable silence that followed, Riku reached over, intertwining their fingers.
“I’m glad we met” he said softly, his voice carrying an earnestness that made Daeyoung’s heart ache in the best way.
“Me too” Daeyoung replied. “I’m thankful for all the help you’ve given me. I feel lucky we’re debuting together.”
“You don’t have anything to be anxious about” Riku assured him. “It’s going to be amazing. You’re amazing.”
Daeyoung ducked his head, a shy smile tugging at his lips. “You’re amazing too.”
In a sudden, tender moment, Riku leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Daeyoung’s cheek. It wasn’t the first time he’d done something like this, but somehow, it felt different now. Special.
Daeyoung’s heart skipped a beat, warmth spreading through him like a quiet flame. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. That night, under the stars and by the river, something unspoken passed between them, an understanding, a beginning.
______
Daeyoung hated promoting without Riku. Every performance and every rehearsal felt incomplete. Riku’s hiatus due to health issues had left a void not just in the group, but in Daeyoung’s heart. Nearly two months had passed since he last saw him, and the ache of separation only grew sharper with time. It didn’t help that they had finally confessed their feelings to each other right before Riku had to step back. After months of sidestepping the truth, of stealing glances and brushing hands under the guise of friendship, they’d finally admitted what they meant to each other. Now, all Daeyoung wanted was to be by Riku’s side, holding him and reassuring him that he wasn’t alone.
The longing was unbearable at times, especially during fancalls. Fans were quick to notice the undeniable chemistry between them, and questions about Riku were constant. “How’s Riku oppa doing?” “Do you miss him?” Every mention of his name tugged at Daeyoung’s heart. One fan asked him for a TMI about Riku, and before he could think, his mind drifted to a memory he cherished deeply: their first night at the Han River.
It wasn’t an official date, at least not back then. They were still just friends, or so they claimed. But Daeyoung remembered every detail vividly, the crisp night air, the way the city lights danced on the water, and the easy laughter they shared. That night, he’d felt something shift. The way Riku’s voice softened when he spoke, the way he kissed his cheek. It was the first time Daeyoung truly realized his feelings for him ran deeper than friendship. The Han River became their unspoken secret, a place that symbolized what they were too afraid to say at the time.
Now, with Riku gone, that memory was both a comfort and a wound. He clung to it during sleepless nights, replaying it like a favorite song, wishing he could relive it with Riku by his side.
As Christmas approached, the group prepared to film a special segment where they read letters for one another. It was meant to be a cheerful, heartwarming activity, but for Daeyoung, it was bittersweet. Riku’s absence was impossible to ignore, though his teammates tried their best to keep his spirit alive. They placed a doll at Riku’s seat, taping a picture of his smiling face to the front. The sight was both ridiculous and touching, and it reminded Daeyoung how much the others cared, not just about Riku, but about him too.
When it came time to write his letter, hours before, Daeyoung stared at the blank page for what felt like an eternity. How could he put everything he felt into words? In the end, he kept it simple, hoping the emotion behind it would shine through.
“Cute like the youngest but always caring, our WISH’s second eldest member, Riku hyung. When we practiced together, you would teach me and cheer me up. I loved when we used to go to the Han River together. Let’s go again soon. Merry Christmas!”
The Han River wasn’t just a memory anymore, it had become a promise, a symbol of the love they now shared.
Later that night, Daeyoung’s phone lit up with Riku’s name, and his heart skipped a beat. Hearing his voice felt like coming home. They talked for hours, catching up on everything and nothing. When Daeyoung brought up the Han River, Riku laughed softly.
“When I’m back, we’ll go again and have our first official date.”
“You promise?” Daeyoung whispered, clutching his phone tightly.
“I promise” Riku replied without hesitation.
At that moment, the distance didn’t feel so overwhelming. The Han River would wait for them, just as their love waited, unwavering.