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Part 5 of Friends first, lovers always
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Published:
2016-05-10
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4,158
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1/1
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I will wait for you

Summary:

Kurt's first ever boyfriend has to move away. He's lucky that he has a best friend to be there for him.

(Or, Sebastian does whatever he can to help tape up Kurt's heart, always.)

Work Text:

Kurt isn’t mad that he’s single, no, it’s for the best really. He liked Sam, a lot. of course he did. He was sweet and handsome and the best first boyfriend Kurt could have ever asked for. But, Sam’s family had to move back to Kentucky for an amazing job opportunity that his father just couldn’t refuse. As much as the fact that Sam was leaving broke Kurt’s heart, he knew that was what was best for him. Kurt could never bear to hold something like that against him, not when he knows how difficult the past few months have been for him. They had been friends before they ever started dating, and that friendship was far more important to him than anything else.

He is a little upset that they broke up before they got a chance to go to prom, though. Senior prom only comes around once, and Kurt already missed junior prom to a terrible flu. So, this really was his last chance for that special dance under the terrible lights, and Kurt can’t help himself, he’s always been a romantic. Kurt knows it’s silly but there’s just something about prom that he’s always wanted. Something to do with being normal, he guesses. Something about getting to have that high school experience everyone always raves about. He doesn’t want his only memory of the high school gym to be awful games of dodgeball, sue him.

He was so sure that he was going to have that with Sam, they’d been planning it too. Sam, making grand promises of teaching himself how to waltz properly. Kurt, swearing that they’d have the most beautiful time together. It was all such a wonderful thought, so close to being real, only to be snatched away right before it could ever happen. It just…sucked.

All his friends are paired up, and Sebastian’s never been quiet about how much he hates the very institution of prom (“It’s a major cliché that’s pretty much rooted in heteronormativity, Kurt.”) So Kurt’s really has no other choice than to make peace with the fact he’s going alone, and to try to salvage what’s left of his senior year with his friends. Mercedes promised to save him a dance, and he’s sure that he’ll be able to wrangle one out of Finn too. After their parent’s wedding, Finn’s proven himself as an amazing brother, and even if his dancing skills aren’t the best, he’s family and they’ll do well enough.

He decides to add a few new touches onto his suit for prom, because even if he’s going alone this is a true moment for fashion, and he’s not about to let that slip. He’ll consider it practice for all the red carpet galas he’ll inevitably be going to in a few years’ time.

He sees his phone light up on his desk, a new text from Sam, he’s hoping. They promised to stay friends, to keep talking. Only when Kurt goes to check his phone, it’s Sebastian.

Seb: wat r u wearing

Kurt: Please check who you’re texting before you try to sext, perv.

Seb: ugh. I kno its u idiot, im talking abt prom  

Kurt just stares at his phone because he genuinely has no idea what Sebastian’s talking about. Kurt considers calling him to figure it out, texting with Sebastian has always been a mission in decoding that Kurt doesn’t particularly want to deal with it right now.

Sebastian must be thinking the same thing, because he gets a call from him immediately.

Kurt picks up and before he can even say a greeting, Sebastian’s grumbling out, “You take too long to reply to texts, Kurt.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, “It’s because it takes me a few minutes to understand your horrendous grammar, you tool.”

“I don’t have time to get into this with you, again. Just tell me what you’re wearing to prom so we can match or whatever.”

Kurt freezes, “What are you taking about?”

“Aren’t you obsessed with this crap? Don’t we have to match suits or flowers or whatever?”

“I’m still confused, Sebastian. What do you mean match?”

Sebastian’s quiet for a moment, before saying, “Oh fuck, I forgot to ask you,” sounding distraught.

Kurt’s confusion only increases so he tries to dig in some more, “Ask me what?”

“Hey Kurt, wanna go to your prom together?” Sebastian says, casually.

Kurt nearly screeches but he controls himself, because he has to be very clear that this isn’t a joke. “Sebastian! Are you saying you want to take me to prom?”

“What gave it away? Was it me asking you that exact question, or?” Sebastian replies, deadpan. Kurt can almost see him rolling eyes and trying to hide a smirk.

“Don’t be a douche, Seb! You spent actual hours mocking prom not one month ago.” Kurt yells back. As much as he loves his best friend, he also hates him just as much.

“I know, but that was before you got all sad and mopey about Sam! I know how much this means to you. Besides, this way you’ll owe me one.” Sebastian replies, easily.

“I don’t know what to say.” Kurt replies. He doesn’t want to be crying about this, but the tears slip down anyway, and Kurt’s never hated more how easily he tears up than he does right now.

“Say yes. And tell me what to wear so I match.” Sebastian says, soft. Kurt knows that he can tell he’s crying, and Kurt’s thankful he doesn’t mention it.

“Okay.” Kurt breathes in for a moment, before continuing, empathetically, “You should probably come over sometime tomorrow though, so we can plan your outfit. This needs to be done in person.” Kurt hears Sebastian laughing on the other end of the line. “I should have seen that coming, huh?”

Kurt grins, “Yeah, probably.”

“Well alright then, K. I’ll see you tomorrow and you can work your magic.”

“Perfect. Thanks, Bas.”

“Don’t mention it.” Sebastian says, his voice warm and comforting, reminding Kurt of why exactly he keeps this fool around.

Kurt can’t stop his heart from fluttering, gently. He’s actually getting to go to prom with someone he cares about, a dream that once seemed so unrealistic and impossible.

Kurt’s phone is beeping, and a glance tells him that he’s getting another call, so he quickly says “Hey, Seb. I’ll see you tomorrow okay, Sam’s on the other line, love you!” He hears a laugh and a faint, “love you too” as he hangs up.  

“Hey Sam!” Kurt says, breathless.

“Hey babe- or, I mean. Kurt. Hey, Kurt. How are you?”  Sam replies, awkward and unsure.

Kurt hopes one day this whole breaking up thing gets easier. “Not bad. Seb just asked me to prom. As friends. Obviously.”

“Oh! That’s great. I’m glad that you get to go with someone. I felt so bad about that.” Sam replies, earnest. “I’m even more glad it’s with a guy that you care so much about. You deserve that.”

Kurt’s heart starts beating again, rapid and unforgiving, “Thank you. I so wished that it was going to be you, though.” Sam sighs, and Kurt keeps going, because he didn’t mean that the way it came out, “Not! That I’m holding anything against you or anything.” He sucks in a breath, trying not to cry, again, “I just miss you.”

“I know. I miss you too, Kurt.” Sam replies, sad.

“Ugh. I’m sorry for being so annoying and sad all the time, there was a reason you called, yeah?” Kurt says, trying to lighten up the conversation.

“What, I can’t want to just talk to you?” Sam replies, and Kurt can hear the smile in his voice, so he counts it as a win. Kurt laughs, “You only call when you want something, Evans. I know you.”

Sam’s voice is cheerful when he replies, and Kurt knows he’s trying to hide any unpleasantness, “Alright fine, my mom’s been raving about those cookies you sent me a few weeks ago and she’s been begging me to try to get the recipe from you.”

“Um. Sam. Please don’t kill me. But I didn’t make those cookies, I bought ‘em.” 

“I am shocked, and appalled, Kurt. I’m worth store bought cookies to you?”

“Hey they’re delicious and I could never make cookies like that! It’s my one unfortunate weakness. Plus they’re from a bakery so they’re technically still home-made! Just…at someone else’s home.” Kurt replies, sheepish.

Sam’s laughing and Kurt is too, and maybe this break up thing doesn’t have to be so hard.

Maybe things can work out pretty okay, for Kurt.

---

“Thank you so much for that, Bas.” Kurt murmurs, standing close to Sebastian on his porch. “You made actual dreams come true.”

Sebastian has never seen Kurt smile quite so wide, and he’s sure that his own answering smile is just as blinding. “Of course, Kurt. What are best friends for?”

He knows that the night is over, and tomorrow will be back to reality, the one where he didn’t just spend the entire night staring at Kurt like he was the most beautiful person he’s ever known. Sebastian didn’t bother being subtle tonight, if only because he felt like it would make the night more authentic for Kurt. Now, with the stars bright in the sky, Sebastian feels invincible. Maybe that’s why he leans in to Kurt’s warm space, and presses a gentle kiss onto his lips. Kurt freezes for a moment, out of surprise, Sebastian’s sure, but he kisses back, after a beat.

They’re kissing, soft and gentle and Sebastian’s heart has never felt so loud in body, he’s sure Kurt can feel how hard it’s beating, with how they’re pressed up against each other. Kurt pulls back, slow, but stays in Sebastian’s space. “I’ll see you later, Bas,” he says, with a whisper.

When Sebastian goes home, that night, he can’t fall asleep. He can’t stop thinking about what a terrible idea that was. Kurt’s still heartbroken over Sam. Kurt’s probably sitting on his couch feeling awful, and yeah he knows they broke up, but Kurt feels everything, always, and this probably makes him feel so bad. Sebastian’s terrified now that he has just lost the only best friend he’s ever had in his life. So he tells himself not to mention it. To be casual and friendly and normal and to make sure that Kurt knows they’re best friends over everything, and that Sebastian doesn’t expect, or want anything else.

That kiss was beautiful, he knows, but it was nothing compared to years and years of friendship. If Sebastian can only have one, he’ll pick the friendship every time.

---

Kurt is sobbing into his pillow, because he thought that college would be different. He thought that once he got here he’d have everything he wanted, and that things would actually go the way he wanted. Only, apparently, that’s not in the cards for him. Not ever.

And, fine. He’s being a little dramatic, it might be because it’s late and he’s drunk out of his mind but he just got broken up with. He’s allowed to be dramatic.

It wasn’t even a good break up. It was a “We’re not really that good together, are we?”

Unemotional. Careless, with his heart, his words.

Kurt’s sure that his stupid ex-boyfriend isn’t crying the way he is. He hates that he feels so much, for things that shouldn’t matter so much. He hates that when something like this happens, every single inadequacy that he’s ever felt in his entire life emerges and threatens to consume him. He knows that tomorrow morning things will be better, a little bit brighter. But right now, he just feels heartbreak, constant heartbreak.

Sebastian wasn’t even home when he came back from what Kurt is now calling the Night From Hell and now Kurt’s crying about that too. Because why would Sebastian come home when he’s probably off having fun and enjoying life the way someone should while they’re in college? Why would he just be sitting at home doing nothing?

Kurt sometimes wishes he could be more like Sebastian, able to detach from things and not have the compulsion to analyze every little aspect of his life and dissect them until they’re little pieces that are easier to understand.

Kurt’s still drinking, and he knows that’s a stupid idea, he knows that rule number one of sadness is to never drink alone, but he doesn’t know what else to do. At least, if he drinks, he’ll fall asleep easier.

That’s how Sebastian finds him, sobbing into a pillow on the couch with a half-empty bottle of Peach Schnapps on the table.

“Kurt what the hell happened?” Sebastian sounds concerned and Kurt hates it, he hates that he’s such a mess all the time and Sebastian has to see him like this.

“James broke up with me.” Kurt says, his voice raw, and he’s sure his eyes are red and his skin is blotchy and terrible and thinking about that just makes him want to cry some more.

Sebastian just bundles him up, hugging him. “I always knew that he was a dick! Hey K, please, please don’t cry.”

And suddenly Kurt’s furious, “Yeah because that’s how it works,” Kurt says in between sobs, “Thanks, Bas, now my tears are all gone.”

Sebastian’s smiling, the bastard, “I forgot how bitchy you get when you’re drunk and sad.”

Kurt wants to scream, why is this his best friend, why is he so stupid and handsome and why is it so easy for him to just forget things, like that dumb kiss they shared in high school. He never thought it about it again, probably, because he never even mentioned it once. But Kurt’s not like that! He thinks about everything and feels so much and is just such a fool, always crying.  

Sebastian looks a little surprised and sad, and suddenly Kurt’s worried. Was everything he just said inner monologue or did he actually say it out loud?

“Um, out loud.” Sebastian says, sheepish, an arm still wrapped around his shoulders.

Kurt’s eyes widen, “Even the part about the kiss? I know it’s like an unspoken rule we never talk about it,” Kurt hurries to reassure him.

“We never talked about it because I thought, maybe, you didn’t want to.” Sebastian’s words are slurring a little bit too, and Kurt knows Sebastian’s drunk too, or he would have just pretended not to hear what Kurt had said, he’s sure. Avoidance is one of Sebastian’s strong suits, after all.

Kurt doesn’t know how to reply to that, so he just forces Sebastian to lie down on the couch, and rests his head on his chest. His head’s starting to hurt and being upright isn’t worth it.

Sebastian continues, moves easily once he understands the position Kurt wants to be in, “I mean, you and Sam had just broken up, I felt like maybe I was overstepping or something.”

“When you kissed me, that was one of the first times I thought it would actually be possible to get over Sam. Like a switch went off, telling me that there were other people who cared about me, that there were…” Kurt’s whispering, and Sebastian’s completely quiet, probably trying to truly grasp the words that come out of his mouth.

“Other fish in the sea?” Sebastian finishes, with a derisive grin. “Yeah, something like that,” Kurt says, burying himself more into Sebastian’s chest.

“Talk about it in the morning?” Sebastian replies, with a yawn. Kurt knows they’ll both be asleep in minutes. “Will we actually talk about it?” Kurt says, and he’s sure the sadness in his voice comes through a little, because the arms that Sebastian has around his middle tighten. “Of course.”

---

After that, they fall into a strange friends-with-benefits relationship. It’s not what Kurt expected, but he’s not complaining. Sebastian is his best friend, and kissing him when he feels heartbroken reminds him that his heart can be fixed, that there are people out there in the world for him to love. It’s enough.

They decide to go have dinner, and the maybe go dancing, and it’s the first time they’re doing this since they started their…thing. Kurt has no idea what to expect, he knows it’s not a date. He still wonders though, what the script is supposed to be between them now. When they get to the club, is Sebastian going to spend the night flirting with other guys like he usually does? It’s never bothered Kurt before, but right now, the idea feels a little strange. Kurt doesn’t want to say anything though, doesn’t want to make Sebastian uncomfortable. It’s one of the first times he’s ever really kept anything from Sebastian, and he doesn’t like what it implies.

This isn’t supposed to interfere with their friendship, this thing they’re doing, it’s supposed to just be…casual. So Kurt shoves all of his worries and concerns and fears away deep into his brain. For once, Kurt isn’t going to let himself ruin this by overthinking it. Sebastian likes casual and fun and Kurt can totally be that, easily even. Future Kurt can deal with it, because present Kurt is going to have a great night with his best friend, like he always does.

---

It’s been a pretty terrible night. Sebastian just wants to go home at this point because they’ve somehow managed to find themselves at the one club that one Sam Evans also apparently frequented on his weeks in New York.

And now Kurt and Sam are getting reacquainted on the dance floor while Sebastian sits alone nursing another drink. He knows he could easily just weave his way into the crowd, pick up some random guy and end up having an alright night, but he just wanted to spend some time with Kurt, outside of this new…thing they’re doing. Sebastian’s not complaining, he’d be an idiot to complain, but Kurt’s been his best friend for years and since they started this, Sebastian can’t help but feel like they’ve lost their footing with each other. And yeah, maybe going clubbing wasn’t the best way to make their friendship less awkward, but Sebastian’s never been the one in their friendship with good plans! Kurt knows that!

He sighs, and is about to walk over to Kurt and Sam to tell them that he’s thinking about heading back, when he spots them kissing and he’s not a masochist, he’s not about to go back home when he knows that’s where Kurt and Sam will end up. He doesn’t have to hear them. So he texts Hunter and tells him he’s too drunk to call a cab and can he please come pick him up.

Hunter replies immediately, “you can text me but not call a cab? Idiot. Omw.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes and shoots Kurt a text too, “heading out. Hv fun / be safe xx.” Sebastian blames the x’s on the alcohol and heads out of the bar to wait for Hunter. Hopefully he won’t ask too many questions.

He’s waiting outside when Kurt sends a message back, “you too!! ;) x”  

Sebastian smiles, a little. Maybe things don’t have to be all that awkward, between them.

---

Kurt wakes up wrapped up around Sam, and he’s confused and a little ashamed of himself for getting into bed so quickly with Sam. Sure, they had their history, but that was high school and Sam hadn’t even bothered telling him he was in New York. They barely even knew each other, anymore.

But then again. This is the new Kurt. The Kurt that’s not going to overthink everything and is going to go with the flow, like a river or something. So maybe, this is perfectly fine and normal.

Sam’s still asleep so Kurt heads to the bathroom, to wash up a little.

He doesn’t know where this leaves him and Sam, he doesn’t think they’re getting back together, but…he wouldn’t be against the possibility, either.

“Kurt?” He hears a weary Sam call, a few moments later. “You really shouldn’t sneak out of your own house, you know. That’s pretty bad form.”

Kurt laughs, “Shut up, I’m in the bathroom!!”

“Mhmmm.” Sam replies, clearly either falling back asleep or very seriously considering it.

Surprisingly though, when Kurt comes back into his room, Sam’s awake and still shirtless, to Kurt’s pleasure. Kurt leans in for a kiss, which Sam obliges, but only for a moment.

“I think we should talk.” Sam whispers. And Kurt knows he’s about to hear something awful, because never in the history of the world has something good followed those words.

Kurt’s face must show his apprehension, because Sam’s quick to press a kiss onto his forehead. Kurt’s sitting cross-legged next to Sam, and Sam’s sitting against the headboard, comfortable.

“I kind of have a girlfriend.” Sam says and Kurt’s eyes widen in shock because he had to have heard that wrong. “Don’t freak out,” Sam continues, trying to appease Kurt.

“How am I not supposed to freak out? You’re a disgusting cheating dirt-bag!” Kurt shouts, throwing a pillow at Sam.

“No! I definitely should have worded that differently. I have a girlfriend and we’re in an open relationship.”

“Wait…what?”

“We’re both models at the start of our careers and we travel a lot. It’s just, we have urges you know? So we decided, while we’re travelling like this and away from each other for more than a few weeks we can hook up with other people, as long as it’s just hooking up.” Sam says, completely calm, all while Kurt internally screams. Of course! Of course the second Kurt decides to follow the philosophy of “let it happen,” this would immediately be the first thing that transpires.

He can’t wait to tell Sebastian. And as wonderful as that conversation will be, he’s still a little angry.

“You didn’t think that was important to mention last night when your tongue was down my throat?” Kurt snaps.

“I don’t know! I just, wasn’t expecting to see you! And then you kissed me on the dancefloor and my brain kind of shut off, you know? It was like I was suddenly sixteen again.” Sam says, looking sheepish.

“Alright. I guess I can’t fully blame you, I also didn’t ask.” Kurt says, trying to calm his brain from overworking. He needs a drink, or twelve. “An open relationship though? I don’t think I could ever do that.”

“It’s not so bad. I kind of feel like it makes me love her more, y’know? When we’re finally together again, we just feel stronger together. I know it’s not for everyone though.” Sam says, earnest, and Kurt can’t stay mad at Sam for long, not when he looks so damn happy, with that small smile on his face.

“I honestly wasn’t expecting anything. I was so surprised to see you and Sebastian and I just had to say hi.” Sam says, with his signature, genuine grin.

“Of course. I’m glad you did.” Kurt smiles back.

“Also, I was pretty sure that you and Seb were together. But then you kissed me he didn’t materialize to kick my ass, so I guess…that’s not a thing?” Sam asks, earnest.

Kurt shakes his head. “Not really. I don’t know how to explain it. We’re just…us.”

“Alright. You don’t wanna talk about it, I understand.” Sam grins, good natured as always. “Is it cool if I sleep some more? You kinda wore me out.”

Kurt laughs, “Yeah, go for it. I’m just gonna do some work in the living room.”

---  

They exchange phone numbers, before Sam leaves, and they promise to keep in touch. Kurt says he wants to meet Sam’s girlfriend, and he means it. It’s nice, Kurt thinks, to be friends. Weird, but nice all the same.

Maybe that’s going to be a running theme in Kurt’s life. Having weird friendships with boys he cares about.

Kurt’s watching TV, not really paying attention to what’s happening on the screen. Sebastian’s still not home, and Kurt thinks he’s probably still at…whoever’s house he was at last night. Kurt’s not upset about that, not upset about Sebastian hooking up with other people. How could he be? That would just make him a hypocrite.

Kurt thinks about how Sam’s has so much love in his heart to share. He thinks about how maybe he understands loving more than one person at the same time, understands how it’s possible to care for more than one person that way. Because every time someone breaks his heart, Sebastian helps him piece it back together. Maybe it’s not all that strange, to want more than one person all at once. He can’t help but think that Sam’s way is a little less painful.

As long as he has Sebastian though, nothing can be all that painful, not really.

---

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