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Arin never believed in fate. Things happened for a reason, sure, but everyone had the freedom of choice. Nothing was set in stone, everything was up to chance, and that was just how the world worked.
But then one Dan Avidan joined his close-knit circle of friends. He was a warm soul with a sense of humor that fit in so well with the group- there was no way Arin could keep him at arm’s length. From their first meeting there was some sort of magnetism between them, like they’d known each other all their lives.
Dan had him reconsidering his beliefs on fate, if only for a moment.
Things were going great until one night Arin couldn’t get a hold of Dan. Calling, texting, waiting several hours for a reply, nothing worked. And with Barry being out of town, his concern only shot through the roof.
“Dan!” He pounded on the door of the apartment, not caring that it was midnight, late for the average person. If someone got mad, he’d deal with it then. But the neighbors didn’t seem bothered enough to stop him. “Open up, man!”
There was some shuffling, followed by a low curse and some footsteps. The door opened to reveal a tired looking Dan, complete with bags under his bloodshot eyes. “Oh, hey,” he greeted with a strained smile.
“Are you okay?” Arin asked, moving closer to inspect Dan. “You look like shit.”
“I’m fine,” Dan answered a little too quickly. He glanced off to the side for a moment, then focused on Arin again. “Sorry for, uh, not answering the phone. Things kinda got in the way.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
Dan stared at him like he was crazy. “What? I mean, no.” He turned his eyes to the ground and sighed. “It’s kind of an NSP thing. I don’t want to dump my stupid-ass problems onto you. You’ve already got Game Grumps to worry about and-”
Arin stopped him before he went off on a tangent. “You’re my friend, Dan. Even if it’s stupid, I want to help you, ‘cause you’re obviously taking it hard.” He offered his most comforting smile when Dan finally met eyes with him again. “So tell me what’s going on. Please?”
After a moment of silent contemplation, Dan invited him in, already looking a little bit better. Just the idea of letting it all out seemed to do wonders.
And boy, did he let it out. Arin listened intently while Dan talked about how his musical partner, Brian, was having issues back on the east coast. His job as a physics professor- holy shit- was taking a toll and conflicting with NSP stuff. On top of some financial troubles, it was enough to really stress him out. Even to the point of considering giving up NSP.
At that point of the story, Dan burst into tears and latched onto Arin. With some mumbled encouragements in a soothing tone, Arin held him and lightly patted his back until he seemed to fall asleep. And that was the end of that.
In the following days Arin wracked his mind for a solution, but always came up short. Then it hit him in a flash of brilliance during an outing with Dan.
“So I’m thinking about starting a fundraiser or something,” Dan had said next to him in line. “I feel bad, but the fans are kinda my last hope at this point. And it’ll take some stress off of Brian.”
“I’ll give you the money,” Arin said casually, hoping that his excitement didn’t slip into his voice. Nothing was more important to him than keeping Dan happy. It was admittedly strange, and he knew he had some feelings to work out in his spare time, but the way Dan lit up made it all worth it.
“Dude, really?” Dan’s voice cracked in the most endearing way as he pulled Arin into a hug. “Jesus Christ, you’re the best!”
Arin denied the praise, but that didn’t stop the pleased flush from heating up his face.
Later that day, when they had gotten back to Arin’s house to chill for a bit, Dan told him, “Brian’s super grateful that you’re helping out.”
“Oh yeah?” Arin was flipping through channels absent-mindedly, half paying attention to what Dan said.
“Yeah, and he really wants to talk to you. Mind if I give him your number?”
“Nah.” It was a bit unnerving, letting his contact information getting out to someone he’d never met before, but a close friend of Dan’s was a friend of Arin’s. He finally found a show to settle on when his phone went off.
Unknown: Hey Arin, it’s Brian. Thanks so much for helping with NSP. You made Danny really happy.
“Danny?” Arin found himself asking, shooting a glance at Dan. For some reason it made his stomach churn just a bit. “I thought that was just a stage name.”
The way Dan smiled, all sappy with a little bit of an eye-roll tossed in, it told the complete story. “Yeah, well, Brian insists on calling me that. I tried telling him that just Dan was fine, but he’s a stubborn asshole.”
“Uh-huh…” Arin had tuned him out in favor of sending Brian a quick reply. The burn of envy sealed his mouth shut. Only the buzz and chimes of their phones broke the dull noise of the TV. He knew they were both texting the same person, but for greatly different reasons. Every so he would glance over and catch Dan with that same smile as before on his face.
No, Arin wasn’t bitter. He refused to let himself be.
As time dragged on, and Arin became more and more occupied with his phone, he found it easy to see why Dan was with Brian. The man’s brand of humor was the arrogant kind, filled with clever quips and rants about his PhD. It contrasted nicely with his all around pleasant personality. But he wasn’t above stooping to Arin’s level of immaturity with dick jokes and a lot of boundary breaching.
Soon enough Arin’s initial envy bloomed into admiration, like a flower from a pile of shit. And that admiration may have ventured into crush territory. Without actually being around Brian, though, it was easy to keep his feelings platonic and focus on the tangible, the reachable- even if there was no hope for him. At least it kept his energy focused.
That whole idea came crashing down all thanks to Ross.
While Ross was busy setting up the next game for Steam Train, Arin checked his phone, where a single message from Brian awaited. It was a picture of a street sign, Butte Road, with Brian’s hand giving it a thumb’s up. Underneath that was a text.
Brian: You know what Butte Road’s made of? Ass-phalt.
Arin laughed. Sure, it was a stupid joke, but that’s what made it hilarious. He prepared to type out a reply when Ross plopped down next to him and tried peeking over his shoulder. A quick press to the phone’s power button put an end to his snooping.
“Stop talking to your girlfriend,” Ross chastised, a sour look on his face. “We’ve got things to do.”
“Not my girlfriend,” Arin said, putting on his sassy attitude with a click of his tongue. “I’ll have you know that he’s one-hundred percent man.”
“Fine, whatever. Your boyfriend, then.” Ross snatched up the controller with a huff, grumbling under his breath, “You always grin like a fuckin’ idiot when you talk to him.” Unexpectedly, he threw himself over Arin’s lap, the back of his hand held against his forehead in a pose worthy of a Spanish soap opera. “You never have time for me anymore!”
Any other time Arin would’ve played along, but Ross’s words left a cold feeling in his gut. Yeah, he was fucking screwed with his crushes. One was distant, to far to truly interact with but close enough to admire, and the other brought so much energy and joy into his life that he couldn’t possibly risk ruining that. Not to mention they were possibly together.
He threw his head back and let out a frustrated groan. Thankfully, Ross took that as a sign that Arin had enough of his shit, and let him be with a sadistic giggle.
Another opportunity for Arin to make Dan happy presented itself on a cool spring night. They had a late Grump session, so Arin offered Dan a ride home since Barry had already called it quits earlier. It was peacefully quiet in the car. Arin focused on driving while Dan stared out the window, fingers tapping to the beat of an unheard tune.
“Brian’s gonna try moving out here.”
Arin almost didn’t catch it, the words a soft murmur at best. Still, his heart skipped a beat. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Dan didn’t turn to look at him, which Arin was grateful for. He would surely see how his grip on the wheel tightened, or how he was fighting to maintain a passive expression. “He’s trying to save up the cash and get everything settled. You know, resigning from the university and all that.” He sighed, a shallow sound that could have easily been mistaken for a normal take of breath. “But that might take a while.”
“I’ll pay for half the total cost.”
Dan sputtered. “What? Really? No, man, you don’t have to-”
“I want to,” Arin said firmly. No arguments would be had.
“Wow… I mean, just wow. Like, thank you so much. Let me tell Brian about this.”
As Dan tap, tap, tapped away on his phone, Arin asked something he should’ve a long time ago. “Are you two, like, a thing?”
“Uh…” Dan sounded uncomfortable to say the least. Arin wanted to steal a glance, just to see if his face betrayed his thoughts. “I mean. Yeah. You’re… You’re cool with that, right?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Arin heard the way Dan’s breath hitched, and was quick to add, “You’re still my best friend, no matter what. And do you think all the gay shit I do is a joke? Of course I’m cool with it, man.”
“Oh, shit,” Dan breathed out. “And here I thought you couldn’t be any more awesome. I’ll find a way to pay you back, man, I promise.”
Arin cringed. Being paid back was one of the last things he wanted. “Don’t worry about it.”
He was just glad he had a confirmed reason to try and move on from his feelings before he collapsed under the weight.
A few months passed, lively spring melting into sweltering summer. Arin tried and tried to just fucking move on, but the more he tried, the harder it became. So he ultimately decided to just go with the flow and let his heart run its course.
In the meantime, a very important day had sprung upon him. Ever since he offered to help Brian move to LA, he’d been keeping up-to-date on all the other man’s goings on. Together they even came up with a plan to surprise Dan, keeping him in the dark about when Brian would finally arrive.
Dan, understandably, was confused when Arin told him they were going on a little trip. But it didn’t take much coaxing to get him to go along, even if he did ask a lot of questions along the way.
“So, what are we doing?”
“Going somewhere.”
“Okay… Where, exactly?”
“You’ll see.”
“But I don’t see now.”
“Looks like you need new glasses, then.”
“Arin!”
Eventually he must have come to the realization that Arin could keep playing the Vague Game forever, because he settled into silence, with only the occasional mumbled curse thrown Arin’s way.
When they neared the airport, Arin kept an eye on Dan, looking for a reaction. He didn’t find one until he actually turned onto the exit, and was it wonderful.
“Are we…?” Dan asked with subdued happiness, leaning forward in the car to better scan the area. When Arin turned toward the pickup area, Dan let out a string of reverent expletives.
As soon as they pulled up to where Brian stood, waiting with several bags, Dan leapt out, enveloping him in his arms. Brian eagerly reciprocated, a broad grin on his face.
Arin watched them for a moment, stunned by just how well they seemed to fit together. Like the sun and the moon; one warm and oh, so bright, the other silvered and cool. Of course they’d gravitate toward another. His hand almost itched to draw them.
He hopped out to grab Brian’s bags while they had their moment, but was stopped by the new arrival himself.
“So I finally get to see the great Arin Hanson in person,” Brian said, turning toward him with one arm still wrapped around Dan’s waist. “I gotta say, I’m surprisingly not disappointed.”
“Gee, thanks,” Arin said with mock contempt. A smile remained on his face, though, as he finally grabbed the bags and put them in the trunk. Dan and Brian whispered to each other, nodding in agreement about something that Arin didn’t quite catch. Oh well.
“Okay,” he said, dusting off his hands. “Dan, let’s give Brian a warm welcome with some good eats.”
Arin took them to his favorite restaurant in Little Tokyo, eager to show off the deliciousness that Japanese food had to offer. To his delight, Brian loved the variety of dishes they ordered, and Dan took great pleasure in showing off his improved chopstick skills.
After their meal was done and paid for- Arin insisted on covering it, but Dan kinda forced him to accept some help- they took a brief moment to let the food digest.
“Hey, Arin,” Dan called out to him, drawing him out of a thoughtless escape into his mind. “Brian and I have a proposition for you.”
“A way to pay you back,” Brian interjected, “so to speak.”
“Look.” Arin took in the two of them, how they pressed against each other, contrasting yet complementing in both body and soul. “I already told you guys that I don’t want to be paid back. Just seeing you guys together and happy is enough, you know?”
“But wouldn’t you like to be happy with us?” Brian asked, sharp eyes boring into Arin’s.
…What?
“You’re gonna catch flies like that,” Dan teased. His hand reached across the table to take hold of Arin’s, thumb stroking along his knuckles.
Arin hadn’t even realized that his jaw had dropped. His composure was in shambles, but he managed to scrape enough pieces together to ask, “Are you fuckin’ asking what I think you’re asking?”
They nodded in unison. Dan’s face was hopeful, clearly showing that he wanted Arin to say yes.
Brian, on the other hand, remained passive. “We just think,” he explained, “that since you’ve done so much for us- saved NSP, brought us back together- you deserve a little something too.” A smirk slipped onto his face. “And with your obvious crushes on us, we figured what better way than to give you an open invitation?”
“Obvious?” He tried so damn hard to keep it from being that goddamn easy to tell.
“Well, yeah,” Dan answered. “I mean, one of your first voice-mails to me was ‘I just need you inside my asshole right now.’”
“I mean- I just… Fuck.” Arin gave up trying to find an excuse. Dan’s hand was soothing on his own, almost hypnotically so. And Brian’s eyes warmed up just enough to convince him. “If you guys are sure, then hell yeah.”
He still didn’t believe in fate, no way. But maybe, just maybe, some people just gravitated toward each other more easily than others. Like the sun, the moon, and the earth, coming together for all of time.