Archive of Our Own ^beta

No... she had to hold on enough to not let it crumble, like she did this morning when all hell went down.

She knew, deep down, that her dad didn't have much time left. With the way his sickness consumed him, making him forget even Barb sometimes, she knew this will be the end of him. Sooner or later. But...

But as a kid, when you have loving parents, for you, they are a constance. Something so carved into your life like the physics into this world. They seem immortal, too strong to let anything knock them down. Even when they are sick, when they break a leg, when the first silver and white strings of hair show up, you're still scared to aknowledge the truth.

They are not immortal. One day, they'll die too.

For Barb, her mom was long gone. She still had some blurry memory of her red hair, of her voice when she sang a lullaby at night. Some sweet stuff Barb held close to her heart ever since her mom was gone.

From then on, it was just her and her dad. The two of them against the world...

He wasn't the greatest dad, but she loved him either way. There was that time, when they were on a pirate themed cruise on the sea, and he got so drunk he jumped into the water from the ship. After saving him successfully, he fell asleep on the middle of the ship, snoring so loud even the captains heard it. She cried, and felt humilated at the time, yet looking back, she couldn't help but laugh whenever it was brought up. She remembered how once he was so high he set the chickens' house on fire on the nearby farm they had, with a cigarette in his mouth, a water gun in one hand to kill them all for no reason, and he only wore a pink robe around himself.

He was high on drugs a lot. He was drunk a lot. Yet, he loved Barb, and she knew this. Even through all the hardship, Barb was proud to call him her dad. She sometimes wished he could've been more stable for her sake, but life wasn't sunshine and rainbows. He went through enough, and he was the greatest addict in Volcano Rock City, and did his best to love her even more.

When he got sick though, it started slow. He started to become more sober, and less active. But two months in, and walking wasn't an option anymore. Breathing sometimes was a struggle. He bled a lot from places he shouldn't bleed from. 

Then came his memories...

He'd forget lyrics he wrote, songs that everyone knew from heart, and what he was doing that day, and it only got worse. He sometimes forgot his wife was gone, he sometimes forgot he had a daughter.

In these states, he talked about family a lot. About sweet reunions, about fixing a broken world. About a big family of trolls, in harmony, not needing drugs and alcohol to bury their pain and misery into.

Did it inspire Barb? Hell yes it did. 

She was glad for that world tour, and how Poppy stopped the evil side of the plan. She was glad for the friends she gained, the lessons she learned. She was also glad her dad could finally talk with other dads and leaders, who understood his struggle.

Overall, Barb was happy for that chapter of her life to turn out... well, happy.

And this happy time came to an end today. The chapter ended, the page turned, and the shock and pain hit her like a million stroms all at once.

She was barely awake this morning, trying to decide which energy drink she should get from her fridge when Riff rushed into her room, his hat clutched in his hands, sweat all over him. He was so out of breath, Barb thought he ran a marathon around the city while he was chased by a feral dog.

She raised an eyebrow, grabbing the black cherry flavoured one, and opening it.

"Morning to you too I guess" She grumbled loudly, then sipped her drink.

Riff was trying to find words, but only choked sounds came out of his mouth. Barb rolled her eyes, walked closer and handed him the drink. Riff took it without a word, and with two gulps devoured half of her morning caffeine. She was unimpressed, and yanked it back.

"Spit it out dude, I don't have all morning" she crossed her arms lightly, about to sip more from her drinks, when finally, Riff said something that had her awake immediately, and made her heart skip a beat.

"It-it's Ozzy..." he choked out in a broken whisper, his eyes tearing up. 

Her drink fell somewhere on the floor, completely forgotten. The entire world around her seemed to fade away, as if she was sucked into a dark, cold void. Barb never ran so fast in her life, and moments later, Riff grabbed her hand and led the way with just as fast steps.

Barb literally broke into the room, the wooden door slamming full force into the wall as she kicked it in. In Ozzy's room, doctors and his personal helpers were just... quietly standing around, and all of them looked up with a look that almost had Barb collapsing right then and there. Their expressions said it all though... even if he is alive, it won't be long until... until...

They solemnly stepped aside, and revealed Ozzy laying in his bed, breathing slow. Too fucking slow for Barb's liking. 

She was right beside her dad in moments, curled up on his side, resting her head on his chest. She pressed an ear towards his heart, listening and feeling. She loved to listen to his heartbeat, nuzzled close to him and just... be for a while. This was her constance. This was something she never knew could be ripped away so cruelly from her.

He wasn't really awake, but he seemed to feel her being there. He had a faint smile, while his breaths were ragged, his eyes closed, and still warm enough to say he's alive. There were no legendary remarks, no final words shared between them. Just a silent love, and waiting for it all to end. Tears fell from Barb's eyes, and sobs escaped from her trembling form. She was shaking, while she hoped every second there will be another heartbeat. Another breath. Stay alive please...

"Y-you took me in, and you drove me out..." Her voice was shaky, wet and broken. But she couldn't bear his dad to go without a song. 

"Yeah, you had me hypnotized, y-yeah..." a lump was in her troath, suffocating her in the reality of the situation.

"L-lost and found, and turned around... by the fire in your eyes"

The breaths got slower, his heart barely audiable... 

"You made me cry, you told me lies" she was holding onto his shirt tightly, her voice finding strength for a second "But I can't stand to say goodbye..."

She choked on the last word, and buried her face in her dad's chest. She took a shaky breath, and continued singing, her voice a broken whisper.

"....Mama, I'm coming home..." it was quiet, but she could swear she heard him mumble the lyrics. She shot up, watching her dad with wide, hopeful eyes. Before she could question him though, to see if she could talk with him one more time, his chest fell, and never rose again.

A beat passed. Then another.

A third, and Barb screamed.

She doesn't remember much after her bloody scream for her dad. She felt hands grabbing at her, trying to pry her away from her dad. Then suddenly, Riff was hugging her tight, rocking her back and forth on the floor, and she was clinging to her friend for dear life. 

After some time passing, she asked to be alone, and stormed off. Okey, more like yelled for everyone to leave her to fuck alone, but that wasn't the point.

This is how she was here. In a trashed, destroyed room, feeling like a lost and confused kid, completely alone. She was... tired. So fucking tired...

She lost her last family member. The idol who seemed immortal in everyone's eyes. A legend no one could imagine a world without. An icon for rock and metal, and for the whole world. A singer, a leader, a father...

Barb curled up further on the floor, trying to even her breathing, and silence her mind.

A soft knock interrupted her.

"H-hey Barb." Riff's tired, anxious voice came from behind the door "I know you asked for alone time, but... I brought someone..."

She groaned, and sat up. She wasn't in the mood for visitors, and was about to tell him off when another voice chimed in gently.

"It's me, Barb.." Poppy's voice was filled with quiet understanding and care "Can I.. come in?"

Barb was suprised, but murmured a yes with her dry troath.

Poppy stepped into the room quietly, and took at one look at Barb before wrapping the Queen of Rock in a tight, comforting hug.

Her vanilla and cotton candy scent somehow shoothed her, and she let her walls crumble all over again, weeping dryly in her best friend's arms. Poppy thought of tissues, water, medicine for a growing headache, and a wet towel to clean tears up, and Barb was too tired to ask how she hid that in her hair. 

Riff joined in later, with drinks, and Ozzy's worn out old jacket he just wore yesterday. He handed it to Barb, who silently took it on. They all sat down in silence, Barb laying her head in Poppy's lap, while Poppy quietly sipped the coffee the drummer brought in.

"I need to make the announcement..." Barb whispered, sounding tired and defeated.

"I can do it if you want?" Riff questioned, sounding unsure, but wanting to help his friend anyway he can.

"Thanks man, but... but I gotta do this. It's my duty and..." she bit her lip, somehow, a small tear escaping her eye "he was my dad."

"Want us to be there?" Poppy asked, putting down her drink and looking down at Barb.

She considered it for a second, then locked eyes with Poppy "If it's cool with yall?"

"Of course Barb"

"Anything for you, my rockness"

Riff went ahead, and asked a troll to let everyone know to listen to their speakers, that went around the entire city, connecting everyone together. Usually it was for announcements about concerts, new songs dropping, and all the gossip you can imagine.

Today, it'll be a much heavier announcement, filled with mourning and pain. 

Barb brought her guitar, still in her dad's jacket, her friends close behind her. She got to the controll room, ignoring the curious looks of the technicians all around, and sat down front of the microphone. It felt... so melancholic. As if she wouldn't be the one operating her body, and she'd be just an outsider. Or, maybe like a dream. Is this how life will be without dad?

When the technicians signed her she can start, for some moments, she was quiet. A heavy weight settled in her chest, where her heart should be. It was painful. She took a breath.

"Rock trolls and visitors of Volcano Rock City..." a tear fell again "I know it's getting late, but today we lost someone special to our kingdom..." she took a shaky breath, trying to wipe her eyes.

"My dad, the old King of Rock, our legend, icon and greatest king passed away this morning, at 7:47" Gasps and screams could be heard from all around the city, from other rooms, from outside, even in this studio room. She let some moments pass, letting her trolls process the information, then continued "He was... awesome. And cool. And, I'd like to cherish his memory with this song, to say goodbye to him together..." Well, she was crying again. She didn't care this time. She started a slow, resembling version of the song she sang earlier, and cried freely.