Chapter Text
The moonlight spilled softly down the ancient stone steps outside the Tomb of Echidna, painting the ruins in silver. The chaos of the past—the battles, the confessions, the tears—felt distant now, replaced by a fragile, peaceful stillness. Subaru and Emilia sat shoulder to shoulder on the cool stone, the night air wrapping around them like a long-awaited blanket of calm.
Emilia sat quietly, her cheeks tinged with a gentle blush, hands folded in her lap.
“Subaru…”
At the sound of her voice, Subaru’s eyes widened. He straightened like a knight bracing for the final boss of a long dungeon.
“Yes, Emilia-tan? What is it? Are you feeling okay? Is something wrong?!”
She turned to face him, her eyes luminous with sincerity.
“Do you love me?”
There was no pause. Subaru placed a hand over his heart as if pledging a sacred vow.
“Of course I do. Always have, always will. I love you more than I love breathing. More than I love mayonnaise—actually no, scratch that, equally. Wait, no! More! Definitely more!”
Emilia’s smile was bashful, a flicker of shy joy.
“That’s good… because you know, we kissed in the tomb.”
Subaru blinked, cheeks warming in a flash.
“Y-Yeah. I remember. Vividly. Burned into my memory forever. Replaying every night like it’s on loop. Uh, is this going somewhere?”
She nodded, the gesture solemn and regal, as if she were about to declare war.
“I think it’s wise for me to speak with the father.”
Subaru’s hands were instantly slick with sweat.
“…H-Huh?”
Her voice remained calm, but her confidence was absolute.
“I need to have a proper talk. About the baby growing in my belly.”
It was as if his brain combusted.
“…THE WHAT IN YOUR WHERE NOW!?”
Emilia placed both hands gently over her stomach, a faint glow of serene belief in her expression.
“I know it’s soon, and we only just kissed, but I can feel it. A mother knows. I feel a warm fluttering in my belly… that must be it, right? The baby.”
Panic short-circuited his neurons.
“E-Emilia-tan. You know—uh, how do I say this—y-you know that’s not how babies are made, right?”
She tilted her head, blinking innocently.
“…It’s not?”
Subaru tried to tread carefully, as if every word might crumble her entire understanding of reality.
“N-No. No no no. Babies… aren’t made when a boy and girl kiss. Even if they really, really like each other.”
Emilia gasped, scandalized.
“Wait… you mean that’s not the ritual?!”
Subaru facepalmed hard.
“Emilia-tan… Did Puck never explain anything to you!? Did Roswaal raise you on fairy tales and disappointment?!”
“I’ve read books!” she said defensively. “They just… fade to black after the kiss! What else was I supposed to think happened after that?!”
Groaning, Subaru slumped back onto the steps and gazed up at the stars with the weariness of a man who had died far too many times.
“Oh no. Ohhh no. I have to give The Talk. In this world. I’m gonna die again.”
Emilia’s voice turned oddly somber.
“So… are you saying I don’t have a baby?”
“No. There is no baby,” he groaned. “The only thing growing in your belly is probably a very romantic misunderstanding and maybe half a pastry from lunch.”
She pouted.
“…That’s a little disappointing.”
Subaru sat back up and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Look, let’s just promise not to talk to Roswaal about this. Or Ram. Or Beatrice. Or literally anyone. Ever.”
Emilia smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder.
“Mmm. Okay. But… if I did have a baby, I’d want it to be yours.”
He choked on air.
“Emilia-tan, PLEASE—”
From a bush nearby: a whisper escaped.
“I suppose I’ll be having to explain the birds and the bees to Emilia, I suppose…” Beatrice muttered, horrified.
“If I hear one more word about babies,” Ram added coldly, “I’m pushing Barasu back into the tomb and locking him in there.”
Back on the steps, Emilia rested her chin in her hands, deep in thought, a small pout forming.
“Okay… so maybe I misunderstood how it works exactly. But I still think I’m close.”
Subaru, already depleted of energy, glanced over.
“Close to what?”
“To figuring out how babies really get made!”
His jaw clenched.
“Emilia-tan, no. Please don’t try to science this.”
But she carried on, undeterred.
“So, okay. You said a single kiss isn’t enough, right? But what if that’s just the start of it?”
“Oh no,” Subaru groaned.
“Right, so follow me here,” she said, gesturing with her hands like a scholar mid-lecture. “Maybe when a boy and a girl really like each other, they have to kiss and cuddle very, very close…”
“…Go on.”
“And then they have to sleep in the same bed every night, still cuddling, for like… nine months.”
“…Excuse me?”
“That’s why it takes nine months for a baby to be born! It’s not just time, it’s like… they’re slowly charging up a love meter. Each night they cuddle, the love gets stronger. Until—bam!—baby.”
Subaru buried his face in his hands.
“You think babies are made like… a spirit bomb of affection?!”
“Exactly! You gather love, day by day. That’s why people say ‘they made love,’ right? They’re literally crafting it over time!”
“…I mean, the logic is kind of adorable. Completely wrong. But adorable.”
“See? I am learning. You’re such a good teacher, Subaru.”
“This wasn’t a lesson. This was me trying not to have a heart attack before I turn twenty.”
Then Emilia’s expression changed, her voice filled with wonder.
“Oh! And when people say ‘we’re expecting’—it’s because they don’t know exactly when the baby will happen. Because the love could hit critical mass at any moment.”
“Critical mass!?”
“Of love.”
Subaru laid back on the cold stone steps again, dazed.
“Dear world: Please let this girl never, ever meet Carmilla.”
In the bush:
Beatrice gripped her head.
“I’ll burn those romance novels, I swear it. I’ll burn them all.”
Ram, sipping tea from an unknown source, added dryly,
“If this is what happens when she kisses someone once, imagine if she finds out what actual love-making is.”
And somewhere, Roswaal was probably writing a treatise titled “A Maiden’s Theories on Baby Formation: A Case Study.”
Subaru sat up again.
“Emilia-tan… would you like me to explain the real way?”
Her eyes sparkled with awe and dread.
“Wait, you know the real way!?”
“I mean… yeah. I do. I’m from a place with a national curriculum and awkward health classes.”
“…Is it scary?”
“Well… define scary.”
She grabbed his arm tightly.
“Just tell me. But like… in a very gentle way. I don’t want to faint.”
Subaru opened his mouth, ready to explain—but then Emilia gasped and raised a finger as if discovering gravity.
“Wait, Subaru—don’t tell me! I think I got it! I figured out why you’ve been so embarrassed about this!”
“Oh no. Please, no. Don’t do this, Emilia-tan.”
She clapped her hands together.
“It’s because… the boy and girl have to be naked, right?!”
“…Huh?”
“Of course! That’s why you were blushing so much! I knew you were hiding something.”
“Emilia-tan, please don’t—”
“It totally makes sense. They have to be naked so the love can transfer directly to the belly. Clothes must block it—like a mana barrier!”
“Mana barrier—!? Are you saying babies are born from a direct beam of concentrated love hitting your stomach!?”
“Yes! And being close, with no clothes in the way, lets the love flow straight in! That’s why it’s so intimate! It’s like… spiritual love osmosis!”
“Spiritual—osmosis—?!”
“And that’s why it takes nine months! You have to fill up the belly reservoir slowly! You cuddle naked, share warm feelings, and the love eventually becomes a baby! That’s why people say ‘we’re expecting’ and ‘we made love!’ It’s like alchemy!”
Subaru flattened himself against the steps, staring at the sky.
“…Oh my god. She’s turned baby-making into a weird fantasy crafting system.”
“So… we haven’t done that yet, so I guess I’m not pregnant. That’s a relief. I won’t get the crib.”
“You… you were considering getting a crib?!”
“Beatrice said I was being irresponsible if I didn’t prepare.”
“She was being sarcastic, Emilia-tan!!”
In the bushes:
Beatrice sobbed into a pillow.
“Where did Puck go wrong in raising her, in fact…”
Ram sipped her tea with the grim satisfaction of a woman whose tolerance had long expired.
“I want to punch Barasu. I don’t know why, but I just do.”
Emilia leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper like she was sharing top-secret intelligence.
“So… if we ever do it… the baby-creating thing… can I trust you to go slow? I don’t want to be overfilled with love and explode.”
Subaru choked on air.
“EXPLODE?! WHAT KIND OF MENTAL IMAGE ARE YOU GIVING ME!?”
Her expression turned serious again, a strange kind of nervous honesty clouding her tone.
“I’m just saying I’m not used to high-capacity love transfers. You have to warn me, okay?”
She added more quietly, worry creeping into her voice.
“I just don’t want to explode with love, Subaru.”
Subaru stared at her, still trying to wrap his mind around the sentence he just heard.
“…I—what—wait, WHAT?!”
Panic rose in her eyes as she reached for his hands, gripping them tightly.
“You said you love me more than anything! That’s a lot of love! If it all goes into me too fast, I might just burst! Subaru, I’m not built for high-speed emotional combustion!”
“Emilia-tan, that’s not a thing! People don’t literally explode from too much love!”
“But you said I’m delicate! I’m a half-elf with unstable mana and an unknown lineage! What if I am the first person to explode from concentrated affection?!”
Subaru sputtered, struggling not to laugh or cry.
“You are not going to explode! No one in the history of ever has exploded because someone loved them too much!”
She muttered under her breath, gaze falling.
“But you don’t know that. What if there was someone? What if their body couldn’t handle the love input and they just… popped like a love balloon?”
Subaru covered his mouth, torn between a laugh and a sob.
“Emilia-tan… if I were to ever love you too much, the worst that would happen is you’d get overwhelmed and maybe need a hug. Not detonate like a romantic firecracker.”
But then, Emilia gasped, a new revelation flashing in her eyes.
“Wait… maybe that’s why babies cry when they’re born.”
Subaru flinched like someone had just stabbed him with a truth too powerful to comprehend.
“Oh no.”
“They were filled with so much love, they couldn’t take it anymore! It burst out and became them! That’s why they cry! They’re overwhelmed because they’re so full of love!”
He began softly banging his head against the steps.
“I can’t keep up. I just—can’t.”
Somewhere nearby, a very emotionally compromised Beatrice was now scribbling furiously into a fresh notebook.
“Comprehensive List of Incorrect Baby-Making Theories by Emilia, Vol. I.”
“This is going to be a long series, I suppose…”
Back on the steps, Emilia pressed her forehead to Subaru’s gently.
“But… if I do explode one day… just know I’ll be happy. Because it’ll be from you loving me too much.”
Subaru sighed, absolutely deadpan.
“If you explode from affection, I might actually die.”
But Emilia gasped again, as if struck by a final piece of the cosmic puzzle.
“Wait… Subaru.”
He buried his face in his palms.
“No. Please. No more revelations. I beg you, Emilia-tan.”
But she wasn’t listening.
“I figured it out. Why some people have twins.”
Subaru slowly lowered his hands, bracing for impact.
“…Do I want to know?”
With a proud smile, she declared her thesis:
“It’s because the boy filled the girl with so much love—like, SO MUCH—that it couldn’t just be one baby! The love had to split!”
He blinked slowly, not even surprised anymore.
“…Like… overflow damage?”
“Exactly! So if there’s too much love, the body’s like, ‘I can’t contain this all in one baby!’ and it makes two! Or three! Maybe even six if the boy is really good at love transfer!”
Subaru stared into the middle distance like a war veteran hearing explosions from far away.
“…So you’re telling me that, in your head, twins are just… high-capacity love bundles.”
Emilia nodded excitedly.
“Right?! It makes perfect sense! The more love stored up, the more babies are summoned!”
He exhaled heavily, looking up at the stars again.
“So if someone has quintuplets, does that mean the dad is a literal love explosion?”
Her eyes went wide in horror.
“…That’s terrifying.”
“Yeah. Fear the Quintuplet Maker.”
From behind the bush:
Beatrice took deep breaths into a paper bag that had apparently manifested out of pure necessity.
“She’s going to spread this theory across the kingdom. I must stop this. I must.”
Ram, sipping tea with a stone-faced glare, added,
“Why is she always so wrong?”
Back on the steps, Emilia placed her hands gently on Subaru’s shoulders. Her expression was sincere, her tone solemn.
“So if we ever do… you know… the thing where we transfer love… and you really love me…”
“Yeah?” Subaru asked, cautiously.
“Please go slow. I don’t want quintuplets by accident. Or to burst. Or both.”
“…Right. One baby’s worth of love at a time. Got it.”
“And maybe we can start small! Like… a toe-touch of love.”
“…What does that even mean—?!”
They fell silent for a while, letting the stillness settle. Subaru needed time to recover. His heart needed time to recover.
Then Emilia’s voice came again, soft and distant.
“Subaru… I just thought of something really sad.”
He turned to her, instantly concerned.
“…What is it, Emilia-tan?”
She was staring down at her lap, hands folded tightly, her voice trembling.
“If… if babies are made from love… then… maybe… when a baby dies before it’s born…”
She swallowed hard.
“…it’s because it didn’t get enough love to stay.”
Subaru turned to her fully, the air in his lungs tightening like a vice.
“Emilia—”
Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, her voice barely audible.
“That must be it, right? The love wasn’t strong enough… and the baby faded away. That’s why people cry so much when it happens… because maybe they didn’t love it hard enough. That’s… really sad, Subaru.”
He was quiet for a long moment, watching her expression, carefully weighing every word before speaking.
“…Emilia-tan… no. That’s not true.”
She looked up at him, her confusion visible.
“But… if love is what keeps a baby alive…”
He gently took her hand in both of his, grounding her with warmth and certainty.
“Then no baby in the world would ever die. Not one. Because people love their children so much. Even the ones who never get to be born. Sometimes… the world just isn’t fair. Sometimes things happen that no one can control—not even the people who love the most.”
Her lips trembled.
“…But that means…”
“It means those parents did love them. Maybe more than anything in the world. But that love wasn’t the problem. Ever.”
Emilia finally let the tears spill.
“I… I was being silly again, wasn’t I?”
Subaru shook his head gently.
“No. You were being you. You were trying to understand the world through love. And honestly, Emilia-tan… I think the world would be a better place if more people thought like that.”
She let out a soft sob and looked at him with misty eyes.
“…Subaru, promise me.”
He reached up and brushed a tear from her cheek.
“Anything.”
“Promise you’ll always fill me with enough love. That you’ll never let our future baby feel alone. Even if they don’t make it, I want them to feel wanted.”
Subaru leaned his forehead against hers, his voice steady and full of quiet strength.
“I swear. I’ll love you so much it’ll overflow into them. I’ll love you until the stars go out, Emilia-tan. No baby of ours will ever be unloved—not for a second.”
She smiled through her sniffles, cheeks tinted pink again.
“Even if I accidentally summon triplets?”
Subaru chuckled, voice thick.
“Even if you somehow summon a whole knight’s battalion.”
“Subaru~, that’s too much cuddling. We’d need to cuddle for the rest of our lives to make that many babies.”
Behind the bush, for once, there was silence.
Beatrice hugged her pillow tight, whispering into the fabric.
“…She really is the sweetest fool in the world, I suppose…”
Ram exhaled slowly.
“…That was almost too pure for me. I’m going to pretend I wasn’t here.”
Emilia tilted her head again, a new question brewing.
“Subaru…”
He braced himself.
“…Yes, Emilia-tan?”
“If babies are made from love… then why do they grow in the belly?”
“…Huh?”
“I mean… shouldn’t they grow in the heart instead? That’s where all the love is, right?”
Subaru physically recoiled from the sheer purity of the question.
“A-Ahhh—! Emilia-tan, please, don’t say things that pure! You’re gonna kill me!”
She blinked quickly, alarmed.
“Why? What did I say? Are you going to be fine, Subaru?!”
He clutched his chest.
“You just obliterated me with purity! That line could end wars! Who needs magic when you say stuff like that?!”
“I was just thinking… the heart feels warmer than the belly. So if the baby is made of love, then maybe it should start in the heart and grow out from there.”
Subaru laid back again, covering his face with one hand.
“I’m gonna cry. I’m literally gonna cry. Someone cast a resurrection spell; I’ve died from emotional overload.”
“…But maybe the belly is just the part of the heart that reaches the outside,” Emilia added thoughtfully. “That’s why people hold their stomachs when they’re happy or nervous. It’s the heart’s echo.”
Tears slipped out from under Subaru’s hand.
“Stop it. Please. You’re too powerful.”
Emilia giggled and rested against him.
“You always get so dramatic when I say things like this.”
“That’s because you say things that belong in fairy tales.”
“I think our baby would be happy in either place. In the belly or the heart. As long as we love them.”
Behind the bush:
Beatrice was sniffling louder now.
“I wasn’t ready, in fact. I wasn’t ready for this, I suppose…”
Ram shook her head slowly.
“She said it should grow in the heart. Even I’m tearing up. And I don’t have emotions.”
Subaru gently placed his hand over Emilia’s heart, smiling softly.
“Then no matter where it grows, here or there… I’ll love them. I’ll love you. With everything I have.”
Emilia’s smile grew wide and bright.
“And I’ll do my best to not explode.”
Subaru laughed, his voice trembling with love and exhaustion.
“Deal.”
“I love you, Emilia-tan.”
“I love you too, Subaru.”