Work Text:
FaceBook Group Chat
Alexander Hamilton created the group
Alexander Hamilton added John Laurens
Alexander Hamilton added James Madison
Alexander Hamilton added Thomas Jefferson
Alexander Hamilton changed the group name to “Franklin 308”
Alexander Hamilton set the color to blue
Thomas set Alexander’s nickname to “I’m a little bitch”
I’m a little bitch set Thomas’s nickname to “Rude AF Bottom”
James: Is there a purpose to this chat?
James set I’m a little bitch’s nickname to “Alex”
James set Rude AF Bottom’s nickname to “Thomas”
Alex: Sorry daddy.
Thomas: NO
John Laurens removed himself from the group
Alex added John Laurens to the group
John Laurens set his nickname to “This is a hostage situation”
James: Again, is there a purpose to this chat?
Alex: I just wanted a way to communicate with my darling new roommates.
Alex: How is everyone’s freshman seminar?
Alex: Dr. Adams is an idiot. I hate mine.
Thomas: You just don’t like him because he likes to shut down your ideas.
Alex: Are you deaf? He’s racist. I heard something about “creole bastard”.
Thomas: Oh shit.
James: Mine would be better if my phone wasn’t blowing up.
This is a hostage situation: Dude, same. Talk to y’all at lunch.
Alex: Guess it’s just you and me Tommy.
Thomas removed himself from the group
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“So other than Dr. Adams being racist and you all obviously HATING me since you won’t be appropriate in the group message, how has everyone’s first registration day been?” Alex asked when they gathered in the dining hall for lunch. They had chosen a café style table instead of sitting with the fraternity today. This meant that John spent a lot of time looking at his phone and making eyes at Laf and not a lot of time participating in the conversation at hand.
James was the first one to respond. “Well, John and I had a pretty good lecture. Dr. Schuyler is really down to earth and put together. It’s going to be a pleasure getting to know him as an advisor.”
Alex’s ears perked up at the name Schuyler. “You mean like Eliza Schuyler? My future wife’s father is your freshman seminar teacher? My future father-in-law is both brilliant and down to earth?”
Everyone at the table rolled their eyes at Alex. He had spent most of the morning going on about Eliza, and he hadn’t even had a conversation with her really. He was so taken with her that he had added her on every social media he had including LinkedIn. She had accepted just as quickly, so Alex felt like he really had a chance to impress her. The first step in his plan had been to get in with her crowd: the Greeks. He had spent the last 18 hours after leaving the fraternity table imagining himself at the head of it, in their letters, flirting with the girl of his dreams. In a week, when he had accepted his bid, he would be on his way to that point. He interjected into whatever conversation his roommates were having. “So who is ready for rush tonight?”
There was a collective groan from the table. James and Thomas both expressed similar opinions that it was something to do, but the group shouldn’t get their hopes up too high. Whenever Alex brought it up, John looked positively ill. He had mentioned to Alex in passing that he didn’t like large group settings, and when they got the rush party schedule in their email at breakfast he had bottled up and not talked to anyone. Alex assumed that he was texting Laf because all he could see before John would pick up his phone was a heart emoji. He wanted to tell John that being nervous was not worth it because he was basically dating a member of the fraternity and if he didn’t get a bid, he imagined that Laf would riot.
“What are you wearing tonight, Alex?” Thomas asked as he stole a fry from John’s plate. John was staring at his phone still so he didn’t notice.
Alex snorted and joined into the game, stealing another fry from John when he wasn’t looking. “Well it says to just show up how you are, so, uh, I’ll probably just wear this?” Alex looked down at his flip-flops, jeans, and old campaign t-shirt. His hair was down around his face, but he thought he looked just fine. Thomas scrunching up his nose told him otherwise.
Alex looked indignant. “Well, what are you wearing then?”
Thomas rolled his eyes and gestured towards his outfit. He was in a nice pair of shorts that were a slate blue, a grey sweater, and some black loafers that somehow managed to not make him look like a douchebag. Maybe Alex should let him help with his outfit.
“Bon après-midi mes amis!” Lafayette showed up, throwing their arms around John from the back. Even James could admit that the blush on John’s face was very cute. “John texted me to tell me that you all ‘ave questions about ‘ow the Rush week works. I ‘ave answers for you, and I figured it would be easier to tell you in person as opposed to just texting John from across the dining ‘all. So? Ask away?”
They looked at John confused, but James played along faster than the other two could think to. “Uh, right. The help we asked for. Could you elaborate on what you told John? We were all still really…confused.”
“Oh, oui. I remember being young and where you are right now. It is normal to be nervous and you will see that someday when your shoe 'as switched feet. Not that I am guaranteeing you a bid, because that is very, very against the rules,” Laf started and then seemed to not stop. They talked to the group for around 30 minutes. Once they had covered the differences between what seemed like an unnecessarily structured recruitment process for the sororities and a completely under-regulated fraternity rush week, they moved on to how the ideal member of each house was different so everyone would ideally find their home in different places, then onto what to expect at each house from the different members. Alex was honestly a bit overwhelmed by the information, and took the time it took for Laf to finish speaking to decide whether or not he needed to reevaluate his plan to woo Eliza.
John spoke up after a bit, “The parties all overlap, right? How do you pick which ones to go to?”
“Well chéri, I ‘ave a feeling I know where you’ll be tonight, but if you do choose to abandon me, you just go where ever you think will be the most comfortable,” seeing the distressed faces all around them, they gently touched the arms of the other boys at the table, “There is no need to make your faces long. You all will be fine. Just be yourselves. On a more important note, what are you wearing?”
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James: I figured out the purpose of this chat.
James: It’s so that someone can come save me from the hell that is Laf and Thomas’ friendship.
James: They are going through my closet.
James: I refuse to be a Barbie doll.
James: Please send help.
This is a hostage situation: On my way.
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Once Laf had helped each of them, except for Thomas, pick out an acceptable outfit for they night, they excused themselves. “Good luck tonight, mes enfants. I expect to see you all at least once this evening.”
They shook hands with each boy in turn, then kissed John on both cheeks before letting themselves out the front door. The boys sat in a comfortable silence for a while before going their separate ways to get ready for the night. Alexander was practically vibrating with energy. He had already typed three separate blog posts about his first two days in the dorm. His pictures of their room were a huge hit on tumblr. He played with Hatter as much as one could play with a tortoise. Still, he couldn’t shake the nervous excitement. John on the other hand, Alex noted, looked as if he wasn’t going to make it out the door that night. His face was a sickly shade of green and his hands were shaking. “John, you alright man?”
John’s only response was a shake of his head. Alex could tell he was panicking. He looked at the clock really quickly. They had about an hour before the freshman would collectively walk over to Greek Hill together. “Well,” Alex started, a sly grin spreading across his face, “When my foster brother would get nervous before an event, he would take shots. He sent me with this,” Alex pulled a bottle of bourbon out of his dresser as well as a shot glass, “He called it liquid courage. You look like you could use some.”
John cocked his eyebrows and just nodded his response to Alex. Alex gave a Cheshire grin and poured John’s first double shot.
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Alex: Guys. SOS. I might have created a slight problem.
Alex added Thomas Jefferson to the group
Alex: Guys. I accidentally got John trashed.
James: WTF Hamilton. Where did you even find alcohol?
Alex: Is that really the most important question right now? What do I do about John? If he misses this round, he can’t participate on the other nights. He’s gotta go to at least one party.
Thomas: How different is he acting from normal?
Alex: Well.
Alex: He is actually
Alex: More social now?
James: Sounds like the problem solved itself.
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James was partially right about the problem being solved. Alex observed John from across the party. The fraternity brothers loved his jokes and his smarts equally it seemed. They had decided that they were going to stay at Psi Sigma Alpha for the whole evening. It was really the only place either of them wanted a bid. Their roommates had decided to wander around the Hill, taking in the different houses. Alex did have to admit that the Hill was impressive in both the amount of people milling about and the houses themselves. Each house had its own distinct style while still falling in the category of mansion. Alex wasn’t sure what the insides of the other houses looked like, but ΨΣΑ was marble and hardwood floors that gave off the feeling of old money as soon as you stepped in the doors. The rooms held nice furniture that made you feel right at home when you sat down. The guys milling about inside were friendly, but obviously trained in how to find out information and apply that training to each guy they met. Alex had enough successful conversations that brothers were already starting to tell him about the rest of the week and what was to come.
Alex thought that everything was going to go over smoothly until he saw John tense up in conversation with one brother and turn to the literal biggest guy in the room looking like he was trying to pick a fight. Alex quickly made his way over to try and usurp the conversation before it could start. The guy in question was wearing a cut-off tee that had something about motorcycles and freedom printed on the front. He had muscle for miles and hands that were large to say the least. Alexander was caught staring before he stepped up to talk. “Is there a problem here?” he asked bravely.
“Nahhhh,” John slurred just the slightest, “We were just discussing my new friends choice of tattoo.”
The brother with the tattoo in question turned his arm so that Alex could see it better. He had an elaborate tribal tattoo up his left arm that stretched past where the shirt covered. He had only known his roommate for around 48 hours and he already knew his argument. “I was only asking what tribe my new friend belonged to since he had such an intricate tribal tattoo there,” John finished boldly. He was smiling, but there was a fire in his eyes that Alex had only seen in men who were about to brawl. It was apparently up to him to diffuse the situation.
Alex steeled himself, then turned smiling to the large man with the tattoo. “Alexander Hamilton at your service. This here is my roommate John Laurens. You’ll have to excuse him for being so bold; however,” and before he could lose his nerve, he launched into the history of tattoos and their use as a postmodern symbol in recent days. He finished after around 5 minutes with, “And my friend here is upset because your tattoo is definitely cultural appropriation but that doesn’t make it any less hot on you or any less fitting of someone of your size and stature.” By now, John had wandered off in search of a bathroom leaving Alex with said very large fraternity man. When he finally met the eyes of said man, he noticed that he was smiling in a weirdly friendly way. Alex relaxed a bit.
The large guy landed a playful punch to Alex’s arm. “Hey lil’ homie, don’t get so upset. If I could send you back in time, maybe you could convince 16 year old George that this tattoo was a bad idea.” With that he winked and reached his hand out for a handshake. Alex could only think that it was almost comical how small his hand seemed in comparison when they guy continued, “My name is George Washington. I’m a junior. You and your friend have some solid beliefs. I can get behind that.”
Alex was amazed at George’s patience. He was sure that he was going to have to break up a fight and instead made a friend. He and George stood talking until it was about 15 minutes until the freshmen had to be out of the fraternity house. Laf had appeared out of nowhere, with a look in their eyes that Alex had never seen before. “Alexander! I ‘ave been looking for you everywhere.”
The bruising grip on Alex’s shoulder was not one that Alex ever expected from Laf, but it tipped George (and Alex) off that something might be wrong. Laf didn’t explain, just drug Alex behind them up a flight of stairs into a part of the fraternity house that freshmen weren’t technically allowed in. George stood at the bottom of the stairs protesting for a second until Laf sent him a look that shut him up and terrified Alex. If very large George yielded to a very angry Laf, Alex would do whatever they said to get back into their good graces.
Alex was unceremoniously pushed into what looked like a community bathroom which is when he realized the problem. There were James and Thomas holding the phone and hair of one very drunk and sick John Laurens. The fire in Laf’s eyes increased tenfold as John dry-heaved into the toilet. ‘You would think they were actually dating and had been for years by how protective Laf is being,’ Alex thought to himself dryly. “You will be explaining this tomorrow. You apparently got ‘im this way; it is your job to get ‘im ‘ome in one piece. I will be there as soon as we v…” Laf let one syllable slip before seeing George draw his hand across his throat to cut Laf off there. “Well fine then, as soon as we are finished doing whatever fraternities do to decide who comes back the next night, I will be there. I will text you. You will let me in. Clear?”
Alex nodded vigorously while George let out an exasperated groan at Laf’s words. “Laf, you really can’t tell freshmen that,” he started. Laf waved him off and helped escort the boys back down the stairs and out of the house. John made a big deal out of kissing Laf on both cheeks which managed to break the terrifying mania that Laf was exuding. They made it out of the house and to the group right on time. Alex was amazed that they made it back to the dorms with no one else realizing what was wrong with John.
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It took over two hours for Laf to show up at their door. Instead of texting Alex like they had said, they pounded on the door until a disgruntled James appeared in his robe. They pushed past him and into the bedroom where Alex was sitting in silence as John had fallen asleep around 30 minutes previous. Laf softened when he saw the contentedly sleeping John, but still pointed to Alex and motioned for them to step outside. Alex complied, a small part of him still intimidated by the strength they had shown earlier. When they got to the kitchen, Alex made them both tea out of nervousness and then sat down. “I am ‘ere now. Explique,” Laf said, managing to sound both interested and exhausted at the same time.
Alex explained the whole situation to Laf who actually snorted at some parts of the story. When Alex finished, Laf picked up the monologue. “Poor John. ‘e ‘as so many unnecessary worries. Although, my brothers were impressed by ‘im even when ‘e was drunk. You are all ‘igh on our watch list. Knowing that, can you maybe not encourage John’s self-destructive behaviors? I do not need to be beside ‘im with worry all the time. ‘e just makes my ‘eart,” Laf gestured with their hands and chest, “go bdoom bdoom in a way that I don’t know ‘ow to put in French words, much less English. Which is creepy because I 'ave not known him but for a warm second as they say. But I care about ‘im a lot is all I’m trying to say.”
Alex’s heart actually felt full 1) knowing that they were all doing well with the right fraternity and 2)for John with how much Laf cared about him: it was genuine and cute even if a little premature in his opinion. Alex agreed to not let or help John do anymore stupid things. With that admission, Laf dropped off a small bag with a water, some type of medicine, and what looked like a specialty tea bag for John and said their goodbyes to Alex. Once Laf was out the door, Alex locked up and went back to his room. He thought to himself that four blog posts in two days was a little excessive, but he couldn’t not write down everything that had happened. With that, he pulled out his laptop and settled in for the night, typing away until he fell asleep on his screen.