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You know those moments in life that completely alter your entire existence? One of those things that when it happens, it creates a clear ‘before’ and ‘after?’ Those ‘nothing will ever be the same after this’ moments?
Yeah. This was one of those.
You'd think after everything, after six postdocs at MIT, after giant alien monsters busted out of an extra-dimensional hole in the ocean, after studying said aliens and pioneering (and yeah, some would say perfecting ) the totally new and very, very punk rock field of xenobiology— you'd think one of those things would've been that profoundly life-changing moment for me.
Or hell, even something in the 24 hours before it happened. Like closing the breach. Cancelling the apocalypse. Nearly getting either a) shot by gangsters b) crushed to death in a bunker, c) killed by a mob in aforementioned bunker, or d) eaten by a kaiju.
Or even something more personal. You know, like drifting with my long-time lab partner sort of frenemy turned begrudging colleague. Seeing the raw, unaltered data of every single one of his memories and letting him see mine.
I mean, you might even figure it would’ve been something after all that. Like our first kiss which led to, uh… a lot of other firsts. Or the morning-after cuddles the next day. Or our first anniversary. Moving in together. Our wedding! Honeymoon! First pet! I could go on…
You'd really think it'd be one of those moments.
But it wasn't.
This is what went down: one second, we were all in LOCCENT as the war clock stopped. Raleigh and Mako— those crazy kids— actually pulled it off and saved the world. Well, with a little help from their friendly neighborhood K-Scientists who totally Bletchley Park-ed the hell outta the hivemind code. Anyway, I’ll never forget the cheer that went up. I remember looking out over the swarm of people, then suddenly he was there, inching closer to me with the dorkiest little smile on his face. So I threw my arm around him for a proper bro hug.
The music started up not long after that and people were dancing, crying, kissing, laughing, drinking, yelling… just, you know, living. Finally, for the first time in over a decade, living like there might actually be a tomorrow.
Then the heroes of the hour showed up after getting picked up from their floaty, escape pod thingies by about twenty helicopters. They started weaving through the crowd to make their way over to the control deck and I was about to give them both the first bump of the century…
And the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital bed.
I sat bolt upright. Which was a mistake. My head felt like a literal hive of angry bees. Every muscle in my body was screaming at me. I couldn’t find my damn glasses. I felt like shit. I probably looked like shit too, I could feel the dirt, dried blood and god-knows-what-other-gunk crusted into my skin and hair.
“You passed out,” a voice said next to me and I jumped so far out of my bed I nearly wound up on the floor.
“Jesus fucking christ, dude,” I said, clutching a hand to my chest, feeling my heart going like a jackhammer. “You scared the hell outta me.”
Hermann was sitting by my bedside in a scuffed-up plastic chair that warped a bit every time he shifted position. He was wearing the same sweater as before, so I was guessing (hoping) not too much time had passed. He kinda looked like crap too, honestly, but definitely nowhere near as bad as me.
He arched an unimpressed eyebrow— maybe at my general state or maybe my “cussing,” as he puts it. Probably both if I had to guess. He blatantly ignored my reaction and answered a question I hadn’t actually asked. “You’re in the med bay.”
“Yeah, man, I’d worked that much out already,” I said, maybe a little harsher than I meant to. The other eyebrow went up. Oops.
I tried to course-correct. “Uh… I mean, like, thanks, uh… for, um. Bringing me here? I guess? I don’t actually remember.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, I can't take credit for that. Ranger Becket scooped you up in his arms and carried you here.”
“Huh… not sure whether to giggle and blush about that or, like… die of humiliation,” I said, as Hermann very exaggeratedly rolled his eyes at me. “Soooooo… how long have I been out?”
“About three days.”
“Three days?!?!?!” I yelled, my voice pitching up in that screechy way it does sometimes.
Hermann winced slightly, then nodded. “They’ve been running tests while you slept. Your stats are surprisingly good, all things considered. Although I'm sure they will want to keep you under observation for a while yet. Come to think of it, I should let the doctor know you’re awake...”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said. “What about you? You’re, uh, you’re still wearing the same clothes you were when we, um…” I could feel my cheeks heating up. “When we, you know… drifted. Did they run tests on you too?”
“Indeed,” he said dryly. “But I had the advantage of not passing out in LOCCENT. They discharged me within the day.”
Meaning that he hadn’t gone back to his room since they let him go. Meaning also that he’d stayed here by my sorry-ass comatose self for two fricking days.
We were both silent then. Over the whir of the aircon and the beeping of the medical doo-hickeys I was hooked up to, off in the distance, I could hear the echoing thump-thump-thump of bass and an occasional cacophony of woooooos. The ‘Dome practically vibrated with it.
“You've been missing the party of the century, dude,” I said.
He shook his head and his lip twitched up in that funny little way it does sometimes. The way that makes me forget every damn time that breathing is an important thing that I should definitely keep doing.
Then he said, “I am right where I need to be,” as if his words in that moment didn't just squeeze every last bit of oxygen out of my lungs.
What happened next was… I mean, honestly? I was tired. I was so fucking exhausted and it had been a day. It had been a week. A year. A decade. Christ.
I couldn't help it. It just bubbled up. I'm almost 100% sure it started as a laugh. That was the intent anyway. I felt myself shaking and the sound… yeah, it definitely started as a laugh. But then the next thing I knew, the shaking kept up and then tears started coming and they just wouldn't stop.
And then… the thing that happened next was the big moment. The one that changed absolutely everything.
He hesitated for just a brief second. And then he just… he took my hand. Just took it and held it in his. Didn't make eye contact either. But he spoke. He didn't look at me, but he said:
“I'm here, Newton. I’m here.”
Then he squeezed my hand so, so gently.
“I always have been.”