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“That was easily the worst meeting of my entire life” a tired and completely defeated Lingsha says as she and three other women walk out of the Seat of Divine Foresight.
“All I could think about was ‘this could have been an email’ the whole time” an exhausted Xikui agrees. “Staying late is so not my style, especially for something so ultimately meaningless.”
“For once I have to agree with you, Xikui” Yukong nods to her secretary. “I'm so sorry I ended up making you stay so late, can I make it up to you with dinner?”
Xikui smiles. “I'll never turn down dinner with a beautiful lady.” She turns to the two others behind her. “Do you two want to join too?”
Lingsha practically jumps for joy. “Yes, yes. Aeons yes. Anything to cleanse my palate from that insufferable meeting.”
Fu Xuan sighs but nods along. “I had originally planned to return to work, but even my mind feels numb after that meeting. I wouldn't turn down a change of scenery.”
The unlikely quartet make their exit from Exalting Sanctum as quickly as possible, lest Jing Yuan tries to rope them in with some follow-up questions.
“Now this is more like it” Lingsha coos with a smile at the platter of steaming buns the waitress just placed on their table. “Could we get a refill on our tea as well?”
The waitress bows and takes their teapot to refill.
“So how goes the effort to reorganize the Alchemy Commission?” Yukong asks her as she places a bun on her plate.
“Ugh, somehow despite the extensive list of things that need to be done it still manages to be tedious. I'd estimate I'm still less than halfway done with everything I'd like to accomplish” she says with a sigh.
“Well, I believe in you. You've already shown yourself to be extraordinarily talented” Yukong replies.
The waitress returns with a fresh pot of tea. “Will there be anything else?”
Lingsha shakes her head. “No, thank you.”
She bows. “Please call me over if you need anything else.”
After she turns to leave, Lingsha pours herself a cup. “Ok, that's enough work talk. I've been up to my eyeballs in work and am absolutely starved for juicy gossip. Help me out here, ladies” she says with an impish grin.
Yukong puts her hand on her chin. “Well, Qingni managed to pass her first semester of flight school with top marks. I'm very proud of her.”
Lingsha forces a polite smile despite the crushing disappointment in her heart. “Congratulations to her, but that isn't exactly the type of gossip I'm looking for…got anything spicy?”
Xikui senses a perfect opportunity to jump in and brag. “If you'd like, I can tell you all about my latest lover~”
Yukong sighs. “I'm not sure that counts as gossip from you; you have a new lover every week.”
“Now that just isn't true, Madam Yukong” Xikui says with faux defensiveness. “For example, last week I had two new lovers!”
Lingsha giggles while Yukong slowly shakes her head.
“Well, if my love life is too spicy for you, Madam Yukong, how about you, Diviner Fu? Surely you have something exciting to share,” Xikui looks at Fu Xuan with a knowing smirk.
Fu Xuan looks up from her own plate with a start. “Me? What makes you say that? I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm a rather boring person.”
Xikui cocks her head to the side. “But you were just on a trip abroad a few weeks back. Surely that was exciting!”
Fu Xuan's eyes suddenly go wide. “Huh? How do you know that?”
“The Sky-Faring Commission tracks all flights into and out of the Luofu. Your name came up on both your departure and return dates.”
Yukong looks disappointed. “Xikui, that's a terrible invasion of privacy.”
Xikui raises her hands defensively. “I apologize, Madam Yukong, but ever since the visit from the Merlin's Claw, I was instructed to flag every single offworld journey by any of the six Charioteers. Really, I'm doing my due diligence by following up.”
Yukong sighs gently and mutters under her breath “Oh, that is so not why you're asking about it.” She turns to look at the Master Diviner. “Well, was it a fun trip? I assume it was over the long holiday weekend we just had.”
Fu Xuan feels slightly annoyed at finding out she's still under surveillance despite the Marshal's investigation, but responds anyway. After all, she has nothing to hide. “Yes, I went on a vacation offworld to Jarilo-VI.”
“Oh, I was there myself several months back” Yukong responds wistfully. “It's a beautiful place, I wished I could have stayed longer to really appreciate it, but my official duties kept me occupied most of my stay. The Golden Theater looked absolutely divine; I hope to go visit for a performance someday. Did you get to go?”
“I…ah, didn’t make it there either. I ended up spending most of my time outside of the city, actually” Fu Xuan replies, realizing how strange that must sound.
“I didn’t take you for the wilderness type. I assume you didn’t go alone?” Lingsha asks with a knowing smirk.
“No, the records indicated there were two tickets booked each way” Xikui responds matter-of-factly.
Despite knowing the Cauldron Master is setting a trap to tease her, Fu Xuan can see there's no subtle way of getting out of this conversation. So she decides to try and defuse the situation by being dry and honest. “I was accompanying Diviner Qingque, who arranged the trip.”
Lingsha practically jumps out of her seat. “The cute sparrow? She finally made her move!?” Xikui and even Yukong can't help but stare at Fu Xuan in response.
Fu Xuan feels her face turning pink. “I, uh…‘made her move’? I…ah…have no idea what you mean.”
“Clearly she's crazy about you” Lingsha replies with a cool grin. Fu Xuan nearly spits out her drink, but Lingsha just continues. “I'm glad she finally put herself out there.”
Fu Xuan's face gets even redder. “That's…don't be ridiculous. Wh-what would make you say that?”
Lingsha sighs. “My eyes? My ears? My nose? If you need me to, I could lick her and probably even taste the yearning.” She giggles at the thought. “Maybe I should do that anyway–she's ever so fun to tease.”
Yukong gives Lingsha a sideways glance but then turns back to Fu Xuan and asks “Wasn't she the one in our group at the mixer? She looked like a sweet girl.”
Xikui smiles and adds “Oh yes, all everyone in our group talked about was Group G. While you certainly all sang well, she was the one with the standout performance.”
“I missed the sparrow's song!? Goodness me, I truly do have rotten luck” Lingsha forlornly sighs.
Fu Xuan's heart starts to race, reliving the memory of that night. And the subsequent date outing. She clears her throat to try and desperately regain composure. “Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you have it all wrong. We're just friends and co-workers. There's nothing more going on; certainly nothing gossip-worthy.”
Lingsha cocks an eyebrow, clearly not satisfied with that answer. “Nothing, huh? So you aren't interested in her?”
Fu Xuan carefully considers her options. Normally she feels like she's a pretty capable liar if she needs to be, given her ability to carefully regulate her emotions. But right now she feels so flustered she isn't sure she be very convincing. So instead, she decides to dodge the question. “That's immaterial, given she doesn't think of me as anything more than her naggy, overbearing boss.”
Lingsha quizzically raises her eyebrow. “Her naggy, overbearing boss she invites to go on vacation with?”
Xikui swoons slightly. “Oh Aeons, what I wouldn't give to take my hot boss on vacation.”
Yukong sighs and shakes her head. “Xikui, I'm sitting right here, you know.”
“I know. Want to join me on a trip?”
“Request: denied.”
Lingsha giggles, only slightly annoyed at the fact she seems to be the only charioteer without a cute subordinate. Especially knowing she wouldn't fumble as hard as these two. She returns the conversation to grilling Fu Xuan who's almost as fun to fluster as Qingque. “Anyway, you should have more confidence. I daresay someone as beautiful and charming as you would have no trouble attracting the attention of anyone.”
Fu Xuan shrugs. “Well, I haven't attracted hers.”
“So I shouldn't read anything into her special request for a gift for you? I'll have you know tuskpir musk candles aren't exactly conventional. Or cheap.”
Ah drat, Fu Xuan should have known the vidyadhara has been onto her for a while. “Uh…no…you shouldn't read anything into that. Just a friendly gift between colleagues.”
“A subordinate giving gifts to their boss out of the blue? You really see nothing else noteworthy?”
“...no.”
Lingsha pulls out her phone with a devilish grin. “I could text her right now and ask. Shall I?”
Fu Xuan feels the color drain from her face. “Don’t you dare.” She quickly softens her voice to try to play it off more nonchalantly. “And anyway, she’s not even on the Luofu right now. She’s busy visiting the Yaoqing at the moment, so there’s no point.”
Lingsha sighs and looks at the other two, hoping maybe they've noticed something.
“I read the heliobus incident report you submitted. You saved her life!” Xikui interjects.
“You did!?” Lingsha says with shock.
Fu Xuan clears her throat again. “It was simply a matter of entering the heliobus’ illusion and dispelling it. Nothing special.”
“You can't casually save someone's life. Even if it's not romantic there's no way she only thinks of you as a nagging boss anymore.”
Yukong nods in agreement. “We see it in the Sky-Faring Commission all the time. A life or death situation always changes people, and makes them grow closer one way or another” she says with a tinge of sadness.
Xikui gives Yukong a compassionate glance and turns to Fu Xuan. “Maybe you just haven't noticed, Lady Fu. How did Miss Qingque respond?”
Lingsha eagerly claps her hands together and grins. “Yes, I imagine you displayed the gallantry of a chivalrous knight. I'm sure you charged in there, took down the heliobus, and swept her right off her feet!” Lingsha says with a romantic tinge to her voice.
“Not…exactly…” Fu Xuan says nervously.
“I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think,” Yukong says with gentleness.
Fu Xuan sighs and shakes her head. “I ended up awkwardly patting her head and sending her back to work.”
All three stare at her blankly. Yukong slowly shakes her head. “Qingni has called me, and I quote, ‘the most sauceless fox on the Luofu,’ and even I can't help but cringe a little.”
“In my defense, I was still a little flustered after seeing myself in the illusion” Fu Xuan says defensively.
“You saw yourself in the Heliobus’ vision!?” Lingsha asks with incredulity.
“Don't heliobi try to tempt you with fantasies, drawing you in before devouring you?” Xikui asks.
Yukong nods. “I can personally vouch for that.”
Lingsha stares at Fu Xuan. “So you are involved in her ‘tempting fantasy’ and you are still unsure how she feels about you!?”
Fu Xuan waves her hand dismissively. “It wasn't like that. She was some bigshot CEO and I was just her lowly secretary. Nothing romantic.”
Lingsha sighs as dramatically as she can while still staying in her seat. “Yes, because carrying on with your hot secretary isn't a trope older than the Alliance itself” she says in a voice dripping with sarcasm. “0% chance there's any possibility of romantic undertones in that.”
“Sounds pretty romantic to me~” Xikui agrees in a sing-song voice. “Oh what I wouldn't give to be the sexy secretary having a fling with my superior…”
“Xikui, please” Yukong rolls her eyes.
“Was there anyone else you recognized in the vision?” Lingsha asks.
“No” Fu Xuan says in an increasingly defeated voice.
“It does seem noteworthy that the most tempting vision of the future includes you but no other family or friends,” Yukong says gently.
The other three give Fu Xuan a few moments to process this information. This whole time she's convinced herself there's no way Qingque could possibly reciprocate her feelings. But hearing them say these things, it seems almost too obvious? “I…hadn't considered that.”
“I've attempted to flirt with her numerous times and she leaves me cold each time. If I weren't so confident in my own sexyness, I daresay it'd be enough to make me develop self-esteem issues!” Lingsha says with a mix of mirth and a tinge of jealousy. “I can confidently say she has eyes for you, and only you.”
“She's become a bit of a legend among the other Commissions for her ability to slack off–yet something seems to draw her back to her supervisor and I don't think it's her work ethic!” Xikui adds with a giggle.
Fu Xuan's mind races and replays all of their interactions. Has she been overlooking it the whole time? Maybe there is a chance…no, there's no way this could ever work. She needs to stop this train of thought from going any further. She has to remain strong. “Regardless, it doesn't matter. There will never be anything more than friendship between us” she says quietly.
Xikui and Lingsha look like they're about to say something, but when they see the look in Yukong's eyes, they both immediately realize she knows what best to say in what is clearly a complicated situation for Diviner Fu, and thus yield the floor.
“May I give some unsolicited advice, Lady Fu?” The Master Diviner simply stares ahead with a vacant look, so Yukong continues. “I know we live long lives, but no matter what, eventually the end comes for us all. Don't leave things left unsaid or feelings left unshared. I speak from bitter and hard-won experience; you will regret it after it's too late. Don't make the same mistakes I have.”
“She's better off without someone like me,” Fu Xuan says venomously. “The only regret I'd feel is if I drag her down with me and inevitably end up hurting her.”
“Inevitably, you say? And here I thought the great Diviner Fu does not do personal fortunes.”
Fu Xuan narrows her eyes at the Helm Master. “I don't need divination to see I'm unsuitable for anyone.”
“That's awfully presumptuous of you. Shouldn't it be her decision who is or isn't suitable for her?” Yukong says to the others’ astonishment. “I know I'm probably the biggest hypocrite on the Luofu for saying this, but it is not your place to make decisions for others.”
“With all due respect, Helm Master” she responds tersely, "I'm the Master Diviner. It is quite literally my job to decide what's best for the people of the Luofu.”
Yukong shakes her head. “No, it is your job to carefully study, consider, and advise. Your talent at this is undeniable; after all, I've frequently taken your divinations seriously, as have the other charioteers. However, at the end of the day, it is still up to each of us what course of action we will ultimately take. Even if it contradicts your recommendations.”
Fu Xuan narrows her eyes but has no comeback.
Yukong takes her silence as an invitation to continue. “I've recently had to learn to do the same. I've tried my best to love, mother, and protect my two little foxes. Part of that is sharing my own wisdom and helping to steer them forward to happiness. But both of these foxes are grown women now, and perfectly capable of making their own decisions. I may not like the paths they've chosen to walk, but it was wrong of me to try to choose for them.”
Fu Xuan is immediately disarmed by the pain and tenderness in Yukong's voice. She softens her own tone in response. “I just don't want to hurt her.”
Yukong smiles gently. “No one ever means to hurt those they care for. But I've found pushing someone away out of a misguided attempt to help them is far more hurtful than being upfront and honest.”
Lingsha smiles and nods gently. “Qingque is remarkably sharp when she wants to be. She may well disagree with your self-assessment. And if not, she's quite capable of gently turning someone down if she isn't interested. Long knows she's rejected my advances enough times!”
“I think loving and losing is far preferable to a lifetime of wondering ‘what if,’ Diviner Fu” Xikui assents with uncharacteristic seriousness. “But you miss every shot you don't take.”
Fu Xuan stares at the others for several seconds in stunned silence. Finally she relents “I'm sorry for getting snippy. I will…consider your words carefully, everyone.”
Yukong smiles in approval. “That's all we can ask for, Lady Fu. For what it's worth, I think you'd make a cute couple. I wish you the best of luck!”
Lingsha and Xikui both flash her a goofy grin and thumbs up. Fu Xuan can't help but sigh, though she can't completely hide her smile either.
The rest of their meal is occupied with less heady matters, mostly Lingsha and Xikui swapping stories of their favorite conquests. After Yukong insists on paying for all of them, they disperse to their homes.
Fu Xuan takes a very long and roundabout route, wanting to spend some time contemplating her dinner conversation with the hustle and bustle of the Luofu’s night life to keep her company. For the first time in a long time, she doesn't have a specific destination in mind and instead wanders aimlessly without even paying attention to where she goes.
The whole time she's thinking only about her various interactions with Qingque. Every word–every touch–she reconsiders with new context. Has she been hiding her feelings this whole time? No…in retrospect it should have been obvious. Fu Xuan has just been blind.
After an hour or so she finally reaches her front door and enters her quiet and empty home. She collapses on her living room sofa and stares at the ceiling. She's been doing this more and more often as of late, hasn't she? Things used to be so much easier and less complicated. But now nothing is straightforward anymore. She can't help but keep replaying conversation after conversation in her mind, until she gets back to the beginning, the moment she truly began to fall for Qingque.
Why would someone as talented as the Master Diviner go through the trouble of making endless choices if the end result is predetermined?
“Qingque…I’m…I’m sorry, this whole time I’ve been acting like I'm destined to hurt anyone who gets close to me–that this is some kind of unavoidable tragedy I can't help. But it isn’t, is it? You showed me that the future is always ours to create. As long as we have others to help us along the way.”
She wipes her face and realizes she has tears in her eyes. How could she have been so foolish? The only thing that’s kept her going these last 30 years is the desperate desire–or hope–that fate is not predetermined. And yet these last few years she’s somehow gotten the idea in her head that this is a fate that cannot be changed. She shakes her head. She’s not going to play along with fate’s games anymore. From now on, she’s going to rip her future out of fate’s hands and instead give it to the person she cares for more than anyone else, herself included. She makes a promise to herself.
“Qingque…I promise that I’m going to find an opportunity to tell you how I feel. What you do with those feelings will finally be yours to decide; I will no longer deny you the right to choose for yourself what your future holds–and whether it includes me or not.”