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English
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Part 12 of A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones Song Parodies/Adaptations
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Published:
2025-07-28
Completed:
2025-07-28
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878
Chapters:
2/2
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Take Me To The Wall (Take Me To Church--Hozier: A Song of Ice and Fire Song Parody/Adaptation)

Summary:

An ASOIAF/GOT adaptation/parody of the song Take Me To Church.
The song is adapted to fit the legend from the Age of Heroes of the Night's King and his Corpse Queen.
The Night's King was said to be the 13th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch who took an Other woman with ‘cold, white skin and eyes like blue stars’ as his wife and queen. They committed atrocities as they ruled from the Nightfort until Brandon the Breaker, the King of Winter, and Joramun, the King-Beyond-the-Wall banded together to bring them to justice.
The original lyrics from Hozier, Take Me To Church (2013) are included for comparison.

Notes:

*This song is a parody/adaptation and is protected under the fair use doctrine. All copyrighted material is used in a transformative manner. No copyright infringement is intended. I am making no profit from this. Please do not repost my work anywhere without first seeking my permission and properly crediting me.*
Feel free to message me if you have any questions. Please keep any comments respectful.

I've included links to A Wiki of Ice and Fire's pages dedicated to the Night's King and the Corpse Queen .
Here's a link to YouTube for Hozier’s Take Me To Church.

Chapter 1: Take Me To The Wall Lyrics

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

My queen's got humour

She's at home at a funeral

Courts everybody's disapproval

I should've wedded her sooner

If the Old Gods ever did speak

She is the last true mouthpiece

Every sermon's getting more bleak

I'm more frozen each week

She was born cold

You heard them say it

My wife offers no absolutions

She tells me: Worship in the bedroom

The only heaven I'll be sent to

Is when I'm alone with you

She was born cold, but I love it

Soon I'll be cold as well

 

A, amen, 

amen, amen

 

Take me to the Wall

I'll worship like a dog

At the shrine of your strife

I'll tell you my sins

So you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Cold Gods, let me give you my life

 

Take me to the Wall

I'll worship like a dog

At the shrine of your strife

I'll tell you my sins

So you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Cold Gods, let me give you my life

 

If I'm a pagan of the Cold Gods

My lover is the Corpse Bride

To keep the Others on my side

She demands a sacrifice

Commit dark deeds, bloody as she needs 

 

Something grisly for the Winter King 

That's a grim song to sing.

Why wake the giants from the earth?

Starks are troublesome from birth

That looks sickly, that looks ghastly

This is frightful work

 

Take me to the Wall

I'll worship like a dog

At the shrine of your strife

I'll tell you my sins

So you can sharpen your knife

Offer me my deathless death

Cold Gods, let me give you my life

 

Take me to the Wall

I'll worship like a dog

At the shrine of your strife

I'll tell you my sins

So you can sharpen your knife

Offer me my deathless death

Cold Gods, let me give you my life

 

No maesters or kings when the Long Night begins

There is no need for penitence for our icy sins

In the madness and frost, then sounds Winter's Horn

Only then I am forgotten, only then I am reborn 

 

Oh, oh

Amen, amen, amen

 

Take me to the Wall

I'll worship like a dog

At the shrine of your strife

I'll tell you my sins

So you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Cold Gods, let me give you my life

 

Take me to the Wall

I'll worship like a dog

At the shrine of your strife

I'll tell you my sins

So you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Cold Gods, let me give you my life

Notes:

I am not seeking commissioned artworks for my writing. Please do not comment with offers or start conversations in order to pitch a collaboration.

Chapter 2: Take Me To Church (Hozier) Lyrics

Summary:

The original lyrics to Take Me To Church by Hozier.

Notes:

Here's a link to YouTube for Hozier’s Take Me To Church.

Chapter Text

 

My lover's got humour

She's the giggle at a funeral

Knows everybody's disapproval

I should've worshipped her sooner

If the heavens ever did speak

She's the last true mouthpiece

Every Sunday's gettin' more bleak

A fresh poison each week

We were born sick, you heard them say it

My church offers no absolutes

She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom"

The only heaven I'll be sent to

Is when I'm alone with you

I was born sick, but I love it

Command me to be well

 

A, amen

Amen, amen

 

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Oh, good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Oh, good God, let me give you my life

 

If I'm a pagan of the good times

My lover's the sunlight

To keep the goddess on my side

She demands a sacrifice

Drain the whole sea, get somethin' shiny

Somethin' meaty for the main course

That's a fine lookin' high horse

What you got in the stable?

We've a lot of starvin' faithful

That looks tasty, that looks plenty

This is hungry work

 

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Oh, good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Oh, good God, let me give you my life

 

No masters or kings when the ritual begins

There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene

Only then, I am human, only then, I am clean

 

Oh, oh, amen

Amen, amen

 

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Oh, good God, let me give you my life

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Oh, good God, let me give you my life