Chapter Text
“Sorry I’m late,” Philip said, sliding into the seat across from Theo. He flashed her his most charming smile, tossed his head to move the unruly, dark curls from his eyes, and it almost… almost thawed her heart.
Fraunces’ Tavern was much quieter than Theo expected it to be on a Thursday afternoon, but with the sun hanging dangerously low in the sky and the plummeting late November temperatures, she couldn’t blame the public for wanting to stay home. She was thankful, even. If anything, it gave her a more intimate setting for the conversation she was about to have.
“Where were you?” Theo asked, aiming for casual. She kept her eyes trained on the teacup in front of her, and Phil reached to grab a biscuit off her plate without asking.
“Wreaking havoc on the city with Steven, as my mother would call it,” he said, his voice full of mirth, and out of the corner of her eye she saw the way he dipped her head, trying to catch her eye.
“Not off with your sweetheart?” she asked innocently, finally looking up to meet his gaze. He frowned, chewing thoughtfully on the biscuit.
“You’re my sweetheart, aren’t you?” he asked it so earnestly that she almost lost her nerve. But she’d come this far, and if she didn’t confront him now, she feared she never would.
“I thought I was,” she said quietly, “but then I saw you in the park getting awfully cozy with one of the tavern girls.”
Phil’s mouth dropped open, dumbfounded, and Theo hated how adorable he looked. His dark eyes were as wide as saucers, and some stray crumbs from her biscuit lingered on the corner of his mouth. She couldn’t decide whether she wanted to kiss the expression off his face, or slap it off.
“It was cold,” he protested, scrambling for an excuse once he found his voice, “She asked me to walk her home, and we, uh…”
Theo pursed her lips, raising her eyebrows, and Phil could tell that she wasn’t buying his story. He conceded easily.
“Okay, fine. But I’m not pursuing Clara. I only saw her that once.”
Theo narrowed her eyes.
“I didn’t see you with Clara,” she said, her voice dangerously low, “I saw you with Alice.”
The pink flush of embarrassment on Phil’s cheeks was the only indication that he was somewhat apologetic. His words, unfortunately, indicated otherwise.
“I don’t know what you expect from me,” he said, shaking his head as if he had the audacity to be disappointed in her. He grabbed a second biscuit off Theo’s plate and took a bite. “You’re the one who wanted to sneak around in the first place!”
“Because of our fathers!” Theo shot back, then snatched the biscuit out of Phil’s hand, “They’d kill us — or each other — if they found out you and I were together.”
Phil frowned, eying the biscuit in Theo’s hand, and for a moment she thought he might try to snatch it back from her.
“You and I have been fucking for over a year now,” Phil said crassly, and it was Theo’s turn to blush, “And my parents don’t know about you, so they keep asking me when I’ll begin courting. My mother wants to start introducing me to ‘eligible young ladies.’”
Theo wrinkled her nose at the term, and Philip reached across the table. She was ready to slap him away if he reached for the biscuits again, but instead he took her hand in his.
“I’m not interested in them. You’re the only girl for me, Theo.”
“What about Alice?” Theo asked, unable to keep the self-deprecation out of her voice, and Phil waved his hand in dismissal.
“Alice means nothing to me. Neither does Clara, and neither do any of the other girls—”
“Other girls?” Theo parroted, and at least Phil had the decency to wince.
“Well…”
“How many other girls are there?” she asked, wrenching her hand out of his grasp and feeling hot tears spring to her eyes.
“I don’t know…”
“Do you genuinely not know? Or are there so many others that you don’t want to tell me?” Theo let out a bitter laugh brushed her angry tears away, “Honestly, I don’t know which would be worse!”
“Theo…” Phil sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face.
Just then, they were interrupted by the tavern girl, her hair piled high on her head and her ample bosom on full display, thanks to her low-cut bodice and tightly laced corset.
“Can I get you anything else, Miss? More biscuits? Oh—”
She cut herself off when she noticed Theo’s company.
“Hi, Phil,” she said coyly, and Theo would have had to be blind to miss the blush that bloomed on the girl’s chest, neck, and cheeks.
“Hey, Mary,” Phil muttered, keeping his eyes down as Theo tried, unsuccessfully, to burn holes into his head with her glare.
“I missed you yesterday,” Mary started, putting a delicate hand on Phil’s shoulder, “I was hoping you’d stop by.” That was all Theo needed to hear.
“Unbelievable,” she hissed under her breath, standing swiftly and reaching into her coin purse to fish for enough fare to cover her tea and biscuits. She threw the change down on the table, then grabbed her cloak and the final remaining biscuit before turning on heel and storming out of Fraunces’. Phil and his tavern girl stared dumbly after her.
Her appetite ruined, she threw the biscuit onto the ground and stomped on it as soon as she was outside. At least now, Phil couldn’t have it.
The chilled November air bit at Theo’s face, and she suppressed a shiver as she slid her cloak around her shoulders and pulled it tightly closed in front of herself. She looked down Broad Street and weighed her options. Papa’s office was much closer (and likely warmer) than home, but in her mood she couldn’t face her father. He’d ask questions, and she’d have to lie about having been with Phil — or worse, confess to it.
She felt the tears coming again, and brushed them away. A longer walk would be good, she decided, to clear her head. Mind made up, she began her trek home.
“Theo,” Phil cried a moment later, catching up to her. He grabbed her cloaked upper arm in an attempt to get her to stop and face him.
“Don’t touch me!” she shouted, wrenching her arm out of his grasp with enough force to stumble down the sidewalk, and earning a few sidelong glances from passersby — not that she cared. He reached for her a second time, helping to steady her, but once she was upright she pulled away from him again.
“Theo, please just hear me out—”
“I care very little for what you have to say, Philip Hamilton,” she snapped at him, and she couldn’t deny the small thrill of gratification when he recoiled slightly at her tone. She turned on heel and began walking briskly down the sidewalk, dodging New Yorkers with their heads down and hands buried in their pockets, equally eager to get out of the cold.
Theo was familiar with the rumors about Phil’s father — that he’d had a reputation for being a rake and a tomcat when he was Phil’s age. She’d even skimmed the pamphlet that was published only a few years prior, where he confessed to cheating on Mrs. Hamilton.
Bitterly, Theo wondered if Phil’s conquests with other girls were immature infatuations and poor impulse control, or more so an attempt to live up to his father’s reputation.
“If you’d just let me explain myself,” Phil begged, falling into step behind her. Perhaps if she just ignored him…
“They were mistakes, every single girl. I don’t care for any of them. You’re the one I want, Theo, and if you’d let me I’ll go talk to your father, or bring you to my parents’ house right now and—”
“Leave me alone!” Theo shouted, pausing her stride and whirling around to face Phil. They were nearly nose to nose, warm breaths coming out in little puffs of condensation and mingling in the chilled air. That, thankfully, was enough to shut him up. She could feel the tears beginning to well in her eyes yet again, and she desperately willed them not to fall this time.
“Miss Burr?” The voice came from beside them and Theo turned to see one of her father’s acquaintances, wrapped in a coat and scarf, worry etched into his features. She recognized his face, but couldn’t remember his name. “Is this young man bothering you?”
“No, no,” Theo said, suddenly flustered by the attention they’d drawn, especially now that she’d been recognized. “Besides, he was just leaving.” She shot Phil another glare, daring him to challenge her words.
Phil looked helplessly between her and the man before he visibly deflated, his shoulders sagging as he stepped back. He stayed silent.
“As long as you’re sure, Miss Burr,” the man said, and she nodded with a confidence that she didn’t quite feel.
“I am.”
The man continued across the street, keeping a wary eye on Theo even as he retreated. After a moment she followed suit, heading down Broad Street in the direction of home.
Before rounding the corner, she took one last look over her shoulder to see Phil staring after her, his cheeks and nose pink with the cold, and his eyes wide and glassy.
The satisfaction she was expecting to wash over her felt more like regret.