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“Conrad?”
An anxious voice on the other side of the table pulled the vampire reluctantly from the pages of his book, dropping him unceremoniously back into reality. Back to the grimy RV bench and his dirty clothes and the gnawing hunger that he had been trying for days now to push back into the darkest recesses of his mind. An inexplicable wave of irritation washed over him at the interruption, and he considered, briefly, simply ignoring their red headed leader until he got flustered and left of his own accord. But then his mind quickly righted itself, and both reason and adherence to polite society returned.
“Yes Hanna?” Conrad replied, not quite ready to abandon his pretense of immersion, eyes still skimming determinedly and uncomprehendingly over the 12 point black type.
“Can I talk to you about something?” Hanna asked, plopping down on the seat adjacent to him without waiting for an answer.
Conrad sighed, still refusing to take his eyes off of the book.
“Something tells me that you’re going to start talking no matter what my answer is, so sure, why not.”
“It’s about…er, well, it’s about Worth.”
Reflexively, Conrad’s grip on the paperback tightened, already pale knuckles whitening almost imperceptibly around the worn spine. But he kept his voice even and Hanna appeared not to notice.
“What about him?”
“Do you think that maybe…”
Hanna seemed nervous, as though the tiniest word out of place would set Conrad off. Their recent visit to Florida that June was still clearly in the forefront of his mind, Conrad realized with a fleeting sense of smug satisfaction.
“Maybe,” he continued, “It might be a good idea to, I don’t know…give him a little more credit?”
“And this is your business how?” Conrad flicked to the next page a little more aggressively than he intended, still refusing to look up at his red haired companion.
“It’s not, it’s not, I know!” Hanna said, backpedaling quickly. “But…just…”
He took a deep breath, as if steadying himself. Oh god. Conrad steeled himself silently as Hanna finally opened his mouth.
“You do realize that this isn’t just an ‘Ey, Ah’m uhvailable and yer uhvailuble let’s hook up’ kinda thing with him right?”
Conrad finally jerked his eyes upwards to meet the fidgeting magician’s in vague horror.
“Oh my god what the hell are you talking about.”
“I just mean that – “
“Okay first of all, if you’re currently planning on any kind of career in impressions I’d hold off on quitting that day job if I were you.”
“Come on man I’m trying to be serious!”
Conrad rolled his eyes and, sighing, carefully marked his page and closed the book. It was clear now that Hanna was not leaving until he got all of this out. All that could be done was wait and see whether his resolve or enthusiasm would drain first.
“I’m sorry, you have my attention,” Conrad said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “Continue.”
“Thank you. Anyway yeah, what I was saying was that this thing you have with Worth?”
Conrad cringed but Hanna plowed on.
“Maybe you should, I don’t know, give it a little more thought. And before you say anything!” he interjected, correctly interpreting Conrad’s irritated eyebrow quirk. “I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything! I’m just saying maybe you should talk with him about this or something alright? Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed – or HOW you haven’t noticed, really – but Worth is like, stupid in love with you, man.”
Conrad, who had been listening quietly if not slightly begrudgingly, suddenly sputtered into loud, vehement protest, his face contorting as if he’d just swallowed a mouthful of chlorine water.
“Okay first of all ew god why are we even having this conversation? Why were you even thinking about this oh my god I feel unclean…And second of all, no. Dear Christ no. Worth is not ‘in love’ with me, god have you met Worth? I don’t think ‘love’ is even an emotion he’s capable of.”
“Do you honestly think that dude?” Hanna said, his voice suddenly soft.
Conrad was still seething, but something about the way Hanna spoke quelled his tirade. He sounded, Conrad noted with unease, exceedingly world weary. Almost sad, even.
“He’s spent the better part of, what, 3 years now hanging around with us,“ Hanna started, eyebrows furrowing. "Sure he used to patch me up and stuff before the world fell apart and everything, it’s not like that’s any obligation for him to stick around. He’s human, he’s a doctor, he could fend just fine for himself if he wanted, and he’d probably be much better off for it. But instead he stays with us, possibly the most dangerous, accident-prone group on the face of this entire freakin’ continent. And you still really think he doesn’t care about us in his own weird, fucked up kinda way? You think even before all this he never really cared about us? Never really cared about Lamont?”
Guilt twisted Conrad’s stomach as he remembered the pair of legs protruding from the ruined couch in Worth’s old office, and the little pewter crucifix the doctor still wore around his neck, but never talked about. Remembered the inexplicable display of self-sacrifice that brought the two of them to that scorched room.
Hanna was right, he knew, but he wasn’t about to admit to that. It was beside the point anyway. Just because Worth might perhaps be physically capable of feeling emotions for other people somewhere deep down in the depths of his twisted little heart by no means necessitated…that.
“You know what I mean,” Conrad said stonily. “He’s not…he doesn’t emote that way. He just doesn’t.”
Hanna sighed, sounding exceedingly tired all of a sudden, the enthusiasm and nervous energy draining visibly from his body.
“Do you ever think that maybe that’s just what he wants people to think? Everyone’s scared of getting hurt dude, even Worth. Especially Worth…”
Before Conrad could reply, Hanna was on his feet again.
“Anyway,” he said quickly. “I should probably go check in on Apollo. I kinda left him to deal with that ghost envoy from Nebraska alone. I tried to stay and help but he practically kicked me out of the room. He’s still so weird about me being around ghosts…But yeah! That’s basically all I wanted to talk to you about. Just give it some thought, yes?”
Again, he didn’t give time to respond before turning on his heel and whirling out the door, leaving the vampire exhausted and confused in his wake.
Groaning, he leaned back against the old bench, book forgotten on the table. He hoped the neurotic red head wouldn’t try to recount this embarrassing episode to his zombie sidekick. Knowing his luck, Worth would be sure to drop in and overhear all of the most humiliating details. Well in that case, Conrad thought, his chest strangely heavy, at least someone would be getting a good laugh out of it.