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It was nights like this that Conrad couldn’t help but be worried that tonight, of all nights, would be the one time that their redheaded man-child of an RV-mate would burst into the darkened back room of the trailer unannounced. Even though they must have been at least a few weeks into fall now, the heat of summer still lingered in the air, especially during daylight hours, so the lack of a need for body heat generally kept the men in their separate living spaces this time of year. With the exception or Conrad and Worth of course, who still usually stayed on their own sides of the bed. Usually.
Additionally, the first rays of the morning sun couldn’t have been more than half an hour away, so there was no real reason for him to be concerned. Conrad couldn’t imagine a situation that would have Hanna anywhere near the cramped bedroom that he and Worth called home at this time of day even if he was awake. But still, some small part of his endorphin flooded brain couldn’t help but expect their door to fly open at any second, quickly followed by a long stream of horrified squawking and stuttering and a lot of uncomfortable eye avoidance the next day.
Hanna knew by now, obviously, that there was somethinggoing on between the two of them, and had seen Conrad and Worth kiss before, Conrad was fairly certain, but never like this. Hanna had never appeared to be particularly bothered by the chaste and strictly infrequent pecks the vampire and the doctor sometimes shared during their off time from being post apocalyptic renegade heroes, but something told Conrad that Hanna would require a measure of therapy that not even his undead best friend could offer if he ever walked in on Conrad and the good doctor with their tongues down each others’ throats, grinding into each others laps.
“Mmf,” a noise of confusion spilled unexpectedly from Conrad’s tongue as his thoughts were interrupted by the sudden absence of Worth’s lips on his own. His eyes blinked open in hazy confusion and his mouth fell open ever so slightly, question hanging on his lips.
“What are you-” he started, brow furrowing as Worth dipped his head down, away from Conrad’s mouth.
“Shuddup,” Worth growled. He sounded, Conrad noted with some satisfaction, slightly breathless even in those two syllables. But before Conrad could protest or question him further, Worth’s mouth came to rest somewhere between his collarbone and the stubbornly lingering bite marks on his neck, and Conrad suddenly felt very content to follow the man’s advice for once.
“Hhhhhh…”
An unnecessary breath that Conrad didn’t even know he’d been holding raked its way out of his throat, producing a sound that, he realized with horror, was dangerously close to a moan. Shit.
He tensed as the thick, resonating silence the sound had left in its wake echoed through their dingy little room. Oh god here it comes. He could practically hear Worth’s smug, heavily accented derision already.
Christ, keep it in yer pants already faggerella.
Whassamatter princess? Gettin’ anxious fer yer knight in shinin’ armor ta come ‘n ravish ya?
His blunted teeth chewed at his bottom lip as he held his breath once more, waiting for Worth’s inevitable taunts and the moment-ruining annoyance that would bubble up inside him immediately after, forcing them both back to their separate sides of the bed to sleep for the day. It was a shame, really. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he sort of enjoyed these rare moments of closeness they shared when they managed to stop arguing for long enough to initiate them. Or argued long enough that it escalated to violence which escalated to…this.
But the pugnacious little jibes and fag jokes Conrad had expected never came. Instead Worth just snickered quietly against his throat and continued mouthing at the sensitive skin around his scar. Conrad felt Worth’s fingers tighten slightly around his hip, pulling him a little closer as his free hand crept up to settle on Conrad’s thigh. He felt himself relax again after a few seconds had passed and he felt comfortably certain that Worth had both seen and ignored the window of mockery Conrad had inadvertently left wide open for him. Conrad smiled a little to himself. Maybe this meant Worth would start at least putting forth a little effort into being less of a prick.
Conrad scoffed inwardly at himself for even thinking it. Worth? Being a respectful, normal human being? Fat chance.
But still he couldn’t help but be occasionally bothered by Worth’s complete lack of willingness to put any effort into anything that didn’t involve his shotgun and pointing it at other people, even for the sake of their…relationship? Unspoken agreement? What the fuck ever it was the he and Worth were now. He guessed he couldn’t be too upset by it, especially considering the fact that Conrad himself couldn’t even pin down a label for what they had, and as a slightly obsessive compulsive artsy type, he had always had a bit of a proclivity for labels of both the literal and more abstract variety.
Well, there was no use putting labels on something that, by all rights, made no sense anyway, right? This “thing” that they had had been going on for maybe two or three months now and still neither of them had taken the time to vocalize it, or actively discuss how it came to be that in just a few months Conrad had gone from throwing punches and verbal abuse in Worth’s direction whenever he was in the general vicinity, to straddling him awkwardly in bed, allowing the man to coax quiet gasps and muffled groans from him with his mouth. The least the stupid, gangly blonde could do was comfortably acknowledge that it was happening outside the confines of their bedroom and maybe attempt to have a conversation about it what it meant, that didn’t immediately disintegrate into imbecilic and completely hypocritical jabs at Conrad’s sexuality.
But who was he kidding? This was Worth he was talking about. Worth who wouldn’t know common decency if it walked up and kicked him in the nuts. Worth who had no moral qualms about performing back alley surgeries on people without even so much as a proper medical license. Worth who was even happier with a shotgun in his hands than with a hot meal in his stomach. Worth who currently had the heel of his palm grinding into the zipper of Conrad’s jeans oh god what?
“Uhhhh,” Conrad said, voice cracking to an embarrassing pitch as he jerked his entire body backwards, away from Worth’s groping mouth and hand. “What are you doing?”
“Wassit look like I’m doin’ princess?” Worth said, wiping his mouth and grinning at Conrad, his bony fingers attempting to snake back up the horrorstruck vampire’s leg.
“Fucking–Worth, stop it!” Conrad said, almost forgetting to keep his voice to a whisper as he batted Worth’s wandering hand away.
“What’s yer problem Connie?” Worth muttered, repurposing his rejected hand to prop himself up over Conrad’s anxiously retreating form. His breathing was still slightly ragged, but his mouth had twisted from his usual smug grin into snarl of mild annoyance. “Ya were all inta this a minute ago.”
“Yeah I was into…you know…kissing!” Conrad rasped as quietly as he could, unable to keep himself from choking awkwardly on the word as Worth loomed over him. “But we’re not…I’m not…you know…”
“Ah Christ,” Worth groaned and leaned back on the balls of his feet, finally allowing Conrad to detangle himself from the doctor’s gangly limbs. “Yer not still on abou’ this are ya?”
If Conrad had eaten anything in the past week or so his face would have flared a humiliating shade of red.
“No–I mean, yeah! I fucking am, asshole! We’ve talked about this!”
“We aint talked abou’ shit!”
Well that much was sort of true. Due to their apparent complete inability to communicate with one another about anything that even vaguely resembled actual emotions and“all tha’ gay shit” as Worth would have so eloquently put it, Conrad had never actually stated what his boundaries were in this whole situation. But he had made clear enough, he thought, the general vicinity that they resided in. Clear enough for Worth to know just how much he had been planning on crossing them.
“Oh you know what I mean,” Conrad said stormily. “You know I’m not…we’re not…”
“We’re not wha’, princess?” Worth’s eyebrow crept towards his hairline. Oh god dammit he was taunting him again.
“We’re not! We–“
“Ah c’mon spit it ou’ already, ya really can’ even say tha word?” That shit-eating grin was back in place, but for some reason it didn’t look quite as gleeful as he usually did when making Conrad miserable. It looked oddly plastered on, as though he was trying unsuccessfully to hide his irritation. Irritation and…something else that Conrad couldn’t quite place. Conrad steeled himself, taking in a deep and physiologically useless breath.
“We are not fucking!” he hissed, forcing himself to meet Worth’s dark ringed gaze.
Worth considered him silently for a moment, glaring at him through narrowed eyes, then grunted in defeat, breaking their uncomfortably intense eye contact.
“I swear ta fuckin’ god Achenleck yer like a goddamned teenage girl,” he muttered, more to himself than to Conrad, pulling himself up off the bed. “Heav’n ferbid the big manly doctor comes ta steal yer fuckin’ innocence away…”
Conrad rolled his eyes and allowed himself to fall back onto the covers, suddenly very tired. Well, it had been nice while it lasted. He was just about to roll over to give Worth space to sprawl out on the other side of the bed when he noticed the doctor pulling the bedroom door open with an unnecessary level of aggression.
“Where are you going?” Conrad asked, head tipping back up from the mattress.
“Where do ya think?” Worth said bluntly, grimacing and tugging at his jeans. Oh.
Without another word he stomped out of the room, leaving to door wide open behind him, and striding peevishly out the RV door. Hanna sat up blearily from his pile of cushions as the whole RV rattled with the slam of the front door.
“Whuzzat?” said the disheveled mass of red hair, clearly only half conscious.
“Just Worth,” Conrad mumbled, pulling himself upright as well. “Going to the bathroom or something. Go back to sleep.”
“Mmmn awright,” Hanna said, flopping limply back onto his cushion and starting to snore almost instantly.
But before Conrad could summon the energy to get up and nudge the door closed he was met with the glowing orange eyes of Hanna’s other undead companion, beaming back at him from the driver’s seat.
A rare, dry smile strained at his green lips.
“Lovers’ quar-?“
“Don’t.”
The door slammed shut before Conrad even realized he’d wrenched himself out of bed, shuttering the Zombie’s shrewd eyes and irritatingly knowing smile.
He sat in the silent darkness for a moment, unsure of what to do with himself. Finally his shoulders slumped and he released a long sigh, pushing his glasses up onto his forehead as he kneaded forcefully at his eyes. It was nights like this that Conrad couldn’t help but almostalmost wish, with a wistful sort of detachment, that Hanna had just left his bloodless husk on his old apartment rooftop all those years ago.