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In a way, Kai knows that he’s not doing his reputation any favors. He doesn’t try to dress cool, he doesn’t pretend to have cool interests, he didn’t really try to befriend anyone in particular after he enrolled, didn’t pick a niche to fit into just to find a place for himself at this new school – he just followed the advice of every teen movie ever, and was kind of just himself. Unashamed for the most part, except for his abysmal performance at free throws and the nervous jokes that sometimes fell so flat it felt as if he was the one to fall on his face instead.
You’d think that being generally unassuming and not angling to make an enemy of anyone would be a good thing – Kai sure did. The population of his new high school though, didn’t really seem to believe in the whole live-and-let-live thing. Truth be told, most of them seemed to take his effort to not make waves and mind his own business as a personal affront, and made it their personal mission to make their issues with Kai his issues, in the pettiest ways possible.
Name-calling, and rumors. Unpleasant, malicious pranks, pushing, shoving. Nothing too bad, really, and nothing too frequent, but enough to have him a little wary with other people around, just enough for him to want to avoid spending time around others, making it even harder for him to make friends who’d stand up for him, who he could hang out with without having to worry. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle, but Kai doesn’t let it bother him too much. He feels content on his own at school, and at home he has a loving family of people who care about him. It works, and even if it didn’t, it would be over soon – just two more years, and he’s already halfway through one as June rolls over into July.
He’s got this. He’s handling it. He’s so well-adjusted it should probably worry people, really.
At least his music teacher adores him – the one person in the whole place who doesn’t give Kai the distinct impression that they’re annoyed at him for taking up space anywhere near them. He’s been enticing Kai to join the school band all year ever since Kai mentioned that he can play the drums, but he’s been rebuffing his efforts all semester. The band members seem nice, they really do, one of them is even in Kai’s class and has spoken up for him more than once when the others started picking on him, but he doesn’t feel like rolling the dice with them just to end up disappointed. He doesn’t need a band around him. Is it on his college bucket list to be in one? Maybe. But it can wait.
For now, it waits in the form of a thick spiral notebook bulging with all the extra loose-leaf paper stuck in between its pages, filled with years and years of song lyrics and melodies. His collection of ‘one day’s and ‘maybe’s. One day, he’ll play those songs with his band that he’s totally gonna join in college. Maybe he’s gonna put his songs up online, and one day he’ll blow up and then all his sensible, realistic, reasonable dreams of being a sound tech will be able to give way to the dumb, unrealistic, unreasonable dreams of making a living as a musician. He doesn’t really think it’s ever going to happen, but it’s nice to dream.
For now, he has this: not a band, not a record deal, not a Spotify with thousands of streams, but his name in bold letters above the name of their high school’s resident band on the colorful summer festival poster for this year. It feels like a step in the right direction, as silly as it is – he’ll get to play guitar in front of a crowd of people, and sing them his own songs. He’s done piano recitals before, singing competitions, he’s done this and that but this has a chance to be different. The music teacher gave him the go-ahead to play whatever he wanted, and playing something he wrote feels like a no-brainer. It’s probably gonna be embarrassing, sure. Nobody’s going to clap just in case he’d develop self-esteem if they gave him the courtesy. But it doesn’t matter. The music is what matters.
So he brings his coveted, precious, wrinkled and battered notebook to school on the day set aside for the students to work on the preparations for the summer festival, and spends half the day rifling through it to find the right songs to play, sometimes with the music teacher looking over his shoulder and sometimes alone – the school band has a separate practice room from the general music classroom, and the teacher flits between them all day, doing his best to split his attention sincerely but visibly harried by the ordeal anyway by the time the afternoon rolls around and he drops by the classroom just to let Kai know he’s going home.
He can still hear the muted sound of the band practicing down the hall – there’s no rush for him to get home, so he doesn’t really give it much thought. His parents are both out on business trips, which usually means that his sisters will be having people over to fill the empty space, so the school is probably going to be quieter than his own home, anyway. He’s practicing to go up on stage, but he doesn’t need to do it by awkwardly playing guitar for a gaggle of his sisters’ school friends.
So he just shuts the door to keep the noise of the band practice out the best he can, lays his hoodie out on the floor and settles down to run through one of the songs he’s picked. It’s one of his more fun ones, one that makes him sound a bit less like a lonely loser. He remembers composing it during a summer vacation with his family, on sweltering hot days, lying on his front on a scratchy beach towel, squinting at the pages even in the shade, running off to take a dip in the sea whenever he ran out of lyric ideas. It was a good summer, and he feels like it shows in the tone of the song – a bit joyful, a bit hopeful. A bit nostalgic. On this summer night and on a hundred more in the future, that sort of thing. The best night of my life, until we meet again and have an even better one.
His eyes are closed when Soobin comes in, and that’s the excuse he’s going with for why he freaks out so hard when he hears the door click. Somehow, he ends up tossing the guitar away from himself, only the fact that he’s sitting down on the floor saving it from nigh certain doom, standing up so awkwardly he steps on his own notebook and rips the page a little, and hitting his back painfully on the corner of a desk.
“Whoa.”
And then he’s wild-eyed and shocked, rubbing his back, staring at Choi freaking Soobin who still has one hand on the door, his shoulders drawn up towards his ears like he got as spooked as Kai did just now.
Choi Soobin. Choi Soobin?
What is Choi Soobin doing here?
“Uh.” Kai points down at the floor below him with his free hand. He’s still standing on his notebook, and he quickly takes his foot off of it. “This is the music room.”
Duh, really. There are instruments literally lining the walls.
Soobin blinks at him, then his shoulders slowly lower. “Uh, yeah.”
Great. Happy they cleared that one up.
Honestly, Kai isn’t really sure how incredulous he should be right now, to see Soobin showing up at the music room on a Friday afternoon – as far as he knows, nobody’s really sure what Soobin has going on in general. It’s kind of a whole thing.
If nobody knows much about Kai because no one asks, nobody knows much about Soobin because he doesn’t really say. He’s not new, and he’s not really ostracized or anything. He’s polite, he’s nice enough, but most conversations with him end within two to three sentences. He doesn’t have a friend group he hangs out with, he isn’t in any clubs, he doesn’t have a girlfriend or a part-time job.
He’s kind of just there, and nobody’s really sure what’s up with that, and it seems to make about an equal amount of people obsessed with him as it makes people wary of him. He could be a delinquent, despite the clean-cut look and soft tone of voice. He could be a fairytale prince in disguise who saves puppies in his free time – he could be anything, and from what Kai has overheard from his female classmates, that’s kind of part of his appeal.
He’s handsome and mysterious, and people love to fill in a pretty blank.
So, honestly, maybe Kai is the one out of place here – maybe this has been Soobin’s spot to be on Friday afternoons, and Kai is cramping his style. That would be awkward. But kind of exciting.
Soobin’s older than him, so they don’t share any classes, but they see each other all the time, and Soobin comes up among the students almost impressively often, like he’s a third floor bathroom ghost everyone’s eager to tell their friends about. Kai knows exactly who he is, and what the talk about him is like, has seen him eat his lunches away from everyone else, lost in his own world, with a book or with his phone, has seen him able through school festivals on his own.
And maybe he’s spun a few stories of his own; maybe he’s drawn outside the lines a bit as well. Maybe he’s looked at Soobin while he sat in the grass on his own on a sports day, looking like he’s hoping nobody is about to pick him for their team for some kind of activity, and thought to himself maybe he’s a bit like me.
If Soobin comes here often, maybe he was more right than he thought. Maybe—
“How’s your work going?”
Kai blinks, and then blinks some more. He lifts the hand he was rubbing at his back with to his head. He might have hit that as well. He’s clearly having auditory hallucinations.
“Huh?”
“You’re prepping for the festival, right? I saw your name on the poster so I thought you’re probably working on your stage. What’s your act anyway? The poster didn’t really say…”
Soobin rattles the words off like he’s rushing to the end, except he trails off at the end awkwardly like he doesn’t know what to add. His hand tightens on the door handle, then lets it go, and he lifts the hand to his own head, ruffling through his hair at the back.
“I, um…”
Kai feels bad enough for him to push through his own confusion, dropping both hands to his sides and taking a step forward. “Come again? I didn’t catch that.”
Soobin’s mouth opens, then purses into an adorable little circle, then opens again. “I was wondering what you were doing for the festival.”
That is a sensible question Kai can easily answer, although it still doesn’t make sense why he’d be asked that by Choi Soobin of all people. He takes another step forward, and bends over to pick up the guitar he threw like an idiot earlier.
“I’ll be playing the guitar,” he says simply, forcibly calm and normal, because this is a normal, calm situation to be in. Totally fine. So well-adjusted. He slings the strap of it over his shoulder, and he thinks he’s done well sounding like a regular human being. Go him.
Soobin looks him up and down, then looks at his guitar, at the stars on the strap he got for his birthday. “Do you… do that a lot?”
Kai has to take a second to wonder if he’s misunderstanding, or if the question made no sense. He points a finger towards his shoulder. “Play the guitar?”
Soobin nods, a bit too vehemently maybe. What’s going on?
“Yeah. I’ve been playing guitar since I was big enough to hold it… well, probably since before that, really.”
“That’s really cool.”
Soobin sounds so sincere saying it that Kai actually has to shift on his feet, suddenly shy. Is it cool? Kai thinks it’s cool. Cool guys play guitars – even acoustic ones. Soobin thinks it’s cool. Soobin thinks it’s cool?
“Yeah, uh… yeah!”
Instead of continuing the conversation, Soobin looks off toward the large windows. Is he blushing? To Kai it looks like he’s blushing, but there’s no way. He’s probably just feeling awkward.
Kai clears his throat, and leans down again to pick up his sweatshirt and notebook, balling them up in one hand and putting them down atop the desk he bumped his back on earlier. “Do you need this room? I’ll be right out – I thought nobody was gonna be using it.”
Light and polite, bright and positive. No big deal. He’s doing so well.
He opens his guitar case to put the guitar in, but he pauses when Soobin starts walking towards him with newfound purpose, going “no, no” and waving his hands in front of himself.
“No?”
Soobin comes to rest a few steps away, wrist crossed in front of himself in an X. “No.”
Slowly, Kai shuts the case again, the lock on it clicking too loudly in the empty room.
“Then why are you…” here, he doesn’t say, eyes flicking to the room around them instead.
Soobin looks around the room too, clearing his throat. “I… thought I could help?”
“Help?”
“With your… project?” His hand is in his own hair again. It looks so fluffy, like it would be pleasant to the touch. Kai didn’t need to notice that. It would have been better for him not to, really. It’s hard enough being awkward, he doesn’t need to be gay about this on top of that.
“Oh.” He drums his fingers on the guitar case. Soobin shifts from one foot to the other, then looks at him with a bit of a pained expression.
“But I guess… I can’t help you play guitar, right?”
You could listen. You could tell me if it’s good. If you like my song. What kind of song do you like? I write all sorts of songs.
“Guess not…” he says instead, giving Soobin a sympathetic, tight-lipped smile that makes his nose scrunch. “Unless you play too?”
Kai’s just immodest enough to doubt that Soobin could really give him pointers – Soobin seems nice, and he is older, but Kai’s been doing this his entire life.
But Soobin shakes his head, anyway, so Kai doesn’t have to pretend to be unsure about his playing just to be polite – good. “Nah.” There’s a pause in which Soobin looks like he’s a bit desperately searching for something to add. That’s weird, isn’t it? Everyone says he barely says a word, and here he is, obviously making a lot of effort to make small talk with Kai. And he wanted to… help him? “I can play the recorder, though.”
He chuckles, and it’s obviously the correct reaction, because Soobin’s eyes scrunch prettily in a smile in response. “Yeah, I’ve been there too.”
“You’ve got me beat on the instrument front, then,” Soobin says jovially, but doesn’t follow it up with anything – he doesn’t rush to get out of the room, either.
So Kai takes a chance, and licks his lips to battle the dry mouth his nerves are giving him. “I play the piano too. And drums.”
“Wow,” is Soobin’s only response, but this time instead of sounding awkward, he just sounds genuinely impressed. Kai feels the warm glow of pride in his chest.
“It’s kind of my thing.”
It makes Soobin laugh a bit, and Kai feels even prouder. “No kidding. But you’re just playing the guitar?”
Kai shrugs. “Yeah I… have to leave something for next year I guess.” He has no intention of doing a different performance with another instrument next year, but he never knows. Not like Soobin would be around for that anymore, either – he would’ve graduated by then.
“Right.” Soobin tugs at his own collar – he’s wearing his uniform properly, unlike most students in their last year. It’s kind of part of the charm.
“I’m – a year under you,” he supplies just in case, but Soobin shakes his head.
“No, I know,” he assures, then looks directly at Kai and their eyes meet, but somehow instead of being awkward it feels… tingly, somehow, somewhere in Kai’s spine. “I know who you are.”
He’s the first one to look away. “Okay…” he’s not sure what his tone sounds like, but he hopes he doesn’t sound like he minds. He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind at all.
“Kai.”
He looks up again. Soobin is looking at him intently, like he thinks it’s important that Kai lets it sink in that Soobin knows his name.
“Do you—” he says then, and Kai rushes to nod.
“Choi Soobin. Sunbae.”
Soobin smiles this tiny smile that makes his lips form a little heart and looks down and away. He looks really pleased – Kai couldn’t imagine why. After regrouping for a bit, Soobin grips both straps of his backpack tightly and opens his mouth to speak.
Just to be interrupted by the ear-splitting sound of the door slamming shut forcefully behind his back. Kai can’t really see who did it, just a blur of a student uniform and an arm somewhere behind Soobin, and then the door has slammed shut and they’re standing frozen in the echoes of the sound like a firecracker just went off. Then laughter explodes in the hallway, obnoxiously loud.
“Study well, Huening!”
“See you at the festival!”
“Good night, loser!”
What?
It doesn’t make sense for just a few precious seconds. Then the whooping and hollering from the outside is joined by the unmistakable sound of a key turning in a lock, and Kai bolts towards the door.
“No no no no no! Guys! Guys what the hell? You can’t lock me in here! Guys? Guys!”
He slams his hands into the door, but he’s just met with more laughter from the other side.
“Dude, listen to him lose it!”
“Fucking stupid.”
“That’ll teach him.”
Teach him what? What did he do? He recognizes the voices – they’re guys from his class that have liked to pick on him since the start. He’s never even had the chance to wrong any of them – they just took one look at him the first day of school and decided they hated him.
Their voices start getting further down the hall, and panic wells up in Kai, and he pounds at the door even harder.
“Guys come on! I’m not alone in here! You can’t do this!”
It’s Friday. It’s fucking Friday – if they leave him here…
“What?!” One of the guys on the other side goes with exaggerated shock.
“He’s lying!” His friend yells over him, making the others laugh. “Who the fuck would hang out with that guy?”
“Fucking loser.”
“Have fun with your imaginary friend, Huening!”
From the sound of it, they run down the hall after that. Kai stands frozen with his hands on the door, shocked, panicked, mortified.
Soobin. Soobin is right there. He heard all that. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t make a peep, or make a move.
Soobin…. Soobin distracted him? While the others got the door? No. No, that doesn’t make sense. They’re Soobin’s underclassmen, and Kai never saw them hang out. And if Soobin was in on it, then he just got fucked over by his own friends pretty bad. He’s just as stuck in here as Kai is.
They’re stuck in here. Holy shit.
He lets his forehead hit the door, just a little. Fuck.
He needs to face Soobin. He needs to apologize. He should fix it, somehow, but his mind is drawing a complete blank at the moment.
“Soobin-ssi,” he starts hesitantly, slowly turning around, still leaning on the door just for comfort. So he doesn’t lose his courage. This sucks to have to explain to someone, especially someone like Soobin.
“Those fuckers!”
Kai is stuck in place with his eyes wide open as Soobin storms to the door, and he dodges out of the way as Soobin pounds on it some more himself, rattling the door handle.
“What the fuck are you doing?! Are you crazy?! Unlock the door!”
Soobin kicks it for good measure, then seems to regret it immediately as his face scrunches in pain. Kai is just startled enough to stutter out an incredulous laugh.
“Hey!”
Kai laughs again. He’s never heard Choi Soobin raise his voice, not once. He’s not sure he’s ever heard him speak in general, maybe he’s only heard about his soft-voiced, polite manner. There’s nothing polite or gentle about the way he jostles the door now.
“Soobin,” he says a bit louder, and reaches out to put a hand on Soobin’s arm, not gripping, just laying his palm just below his shoulder. “Soobin-ssi. They’re gone. They left already. I heard them running away.”
Soobin looks at Kai with wide eyes, then looks at the door and kicks it again, this time more gentle, and with the foot he didn’t hurt by doing it the time before. “Fuck.”
Kai stifles another laugh behind his palm. This is stupid. This is ridiculous. He’s stuck in a locked classroom with Choi Soobin, and he’s swearing his face off and attacking a door. That’s definitely a way to get to know someone.
“I’m—” it hits Kai again. This is his fault. Jesus. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have gotten caught up in this.”
Soobin turns towards him, and his face that got pink from the yelling softens in a way that has Kai looking away. He hates telling people about this; it’s not a big deal to him, but he knows it sounds like a big deal to other people. Most people wouldn’t be okay with getting picked on. Kai’s pretty sure he’s not okay with getting locked in a classroom, even if he gets saved by a janitor in a few hours or something. It’s just embarrassing; not worth addressing. Goddamn it.
“Those guys – they’re assholes, I—”
“They’re not your friends, right?” Soobin asks bluntly, and Kai has to blink and regroup, eyes finding Soobin’s again. He looks serious, but not like he pities Kai.
“Yeah, no,” he admits and looks at the door, wincing. “They hate me. This is not really that kinda prank.”
Soobin pulls a face of utter disgust that almost makes Kai laugh again despite everything. “Dicks.”
“Yeah,” Kai says lightly, still holding back the laugh.
“Well.” Soobin clears his throat and shifts so he can lean his back on the locked door, looking around the classroom. It’s a big room for just two people, but if they’re gonna be stuck here for hours, Kai gets the feeling like it’s going to start feeling really small really soon. “This beats a bathroom stall, I can tell you that.”
Soobin says it so lightly Kai almost doesn’t catch the implication, but when it sinks in, he turns wide eyes to Soobin, who’s looking back at him a bit carefully. There’s just a bit of hesitation. Of reluctance. It sucks to talk about things like this. You can never really be sure how the other person will react. Soobin meets his wide, questioning eyes with a little shrug.
“Holy shit,” is the intelligent, compassionate, tactful answer Kai comes up with.
Soobin scoffs and shrugs a bit harder. “It was not great. I did manage to read a whole book before they found me, though.”
Wow. Kai’s not sure what to do with himself, so he just lets his body sag against the wall by the door, next to Soobin. “Did that happen here?”
Soobin shakes his head, hair flying all over the place. He sticks his hands into his pockets, and Kai realizes that Soobin’s trying really hard to act casual. “Nah. Middle school.” He tilts his head to one side. “I hit a growth spurt before high school. Maybe that made people not wanna mess with me anymore. I don’t know.”
“Huh.” Slowly, Kai lets the guitar he forgot he still had on his back slip down to the floor. He can’t imagine anyone bullying Soobin. Why would anyone go after Soobin? He’s handsome and nice and a quiet guy who doesn’t bother anyone.
Maybe that’s the wrong way to think about this. Definitely the wrong way to think about this. Deserve it? Since when does bullying work like that.
“That didn’t work for me,” he says faintly, trying to make it sound like a joke but it really doesn’t.
Soobin tilts his head back, knocking it into the door. His eyes draw an arch over the ceiling. “Apparently.”
Kai chews on his bottom lip, and rubs the guitar strap between his fingers. “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
It’s not, at the end of the day, but it feels like it. He’s bad luck at this school – maybe it’s good that he doesn’t have friends he’d pull into stuff like this.
They’re quiet for maybe too long – this time Soobin doesn’t rush to fill the silence. But it’s kind of comfortable. Kai studies his sunbae’s profile, and Soobin studies the light fixtures on the ceiling.
Then Soobin turns his head all the way, and Kai looks away quickly to not get caught staring. Soobin’s handsome – he knew that; he’s more handsome up close. Kai blushes easily, but maybe it doesn’t show too much.
“Do you have anyone who could come get us?”
Well now he’s definitely gonna blush. His first time meeting Choi Soobin, and it’s just one humiliation after another.
“At the school?”
Soobin shrugs.
“No,” he admits reluctantly.
But Soobin just purses his lips and frowns. “Me neither.”
Right. Nobody’s ever heard of Soobin having friends at the school.
“My parents are my at my grandma’s ‘cause she’s sick,” he continues, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone, still frowning. “Hyung and noona are in college.”
Still, Soobin starts typing something into his phone.
“My parents are away too,” Kai offers, but he goes to get his phone too. “My sisters should be home, though. I don’t know if they could get us, but. It’s worth a try.”
“You have siblings?”
Soobin stopped typing to ask that, and Kai suddenly feels weirdly exposed under the weight of Soobin’s obvious curiosity. “Uh. Yeah. Lea and Hye. They don’t go to this school, though, they’re… at like…” he’s not sure why words escape him as he’s talking. Soobin’s just so focused on him, in this empty room, and it makes him suddenly nervous. “A girls’ school.”
“Huh.”
Kai shrugs a bit too hard, and leans the guitar on the wall before pulling away and hunching over his phone. “I can try calling, though. Maybe they’ll come.”
Soobin doesn’t reply, and Kai doesn’t look over his shoulder as he walks away towards the windows, letting the sunlight wash over him as he dials Lea’s number.
“Hm?”
It’s exactly the kind of warm hello he was expecting. The background of the call is loud, it sounds like a car engine running and multiple voices piling over each other into a cacophony. That doesn’t bode well. It’s Friday, their parents are gone and Lea is in the car? Kai’s been in this situation before.
“Noona, where are you?”
“With the girls – we’re going to the beach? I left you a note in the kitchen, you didn’t see it?”
“I’m not home yet.”
“Ah, you’re practicing?”
Kai can’t just ask her to turn the car around and come save him from a locked classroom, can he? She’s got her own life to live; and it would be embarrassing, for both of them, anyway.
“Yeah.”
“So what’s up? What did you want?”
He looks over his shoulder at Soobin, who is hunched over his own phone, typing away. “Uh, nothing. Never mind. Have fun.”
“Huh?” She exaggerates her confusion, and it makes him smile. “You sure, Kai? You’re being weird.”
He breathes out a laugh. Yeah, he is. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure. Say hi to the noonas for me. Bye.”
“Okay? Bye! Weirdo.”
She sounds affectionate, and waits for him to hang up first. He rubs at the side of his face hard.
“Lea noona can’t come. She’s busy,” he says vaguely and hopes that Soobin doesn’t point out that he didn’t even try to convince her to come get them.
“Sucks,” is Soobin’s only reply.
“Yeah.”
He dials his younger sister next, but the call doesn’t connect. He tries again with the same result, then fires off a text or two.
“I think Hye’s phone is off.” Which is crazy, because she’s almost as glued to that thing as he is.
“Oh.”
Kai turns around fully then, and Soobin is looking at him with his eyebrows raised, expression a bit helpless.
“I guess we’re screwed, then.”
Kai taps his phone against his own thigh. “Guess so. No luck on your end?”
“Huh?”
He jerks his chin in Soobin’s direction. “You were texting someone, right?”
“Oh, yeah.” Soobin pulls a face and puts his phone back in his pocket. “He can’t really help, though.” At Kai’s questioning look, he adds, “He’s in Daegu.” When Kai still doesn’t react, Soobin shifts against the door and stands up properly, restless, eyes straying away. “It’s a friend I made online. We play League together. I don’t know, he’s good at thinking on the fly. I thought maybe he’ll think of something we could do.”
“You play League?”
Soobin ruffles his hair at the back again – it’s starting to stick out a bit with how much he’s been messing with it. “Yeah.” Then, quieter, faster, he adds, “A lot.”
It makes Kai smile. “I play, too.”
“Are you any good at it? We could—” Soobin wipes his hands on his slacks for some reason. “I’m Diamond and Gyu’s Platinum. We’re pretty good.”
Oh. Alright. “I never made it past Silver.”
He’s Bronze now, but Soobin doesn’t need to know that. Soobin’s Diamond? No wonder he’s not in any clubs.
“That’s fine!” Soobin says in a tone that makes it clear how lame he thinks being Silver is. “We can – Gyu and I can help. Or we can just play for fun! Doesn’t matter.”
“Okay,” Kai says, unsure. He just scored an open invite to play League with Soobin and the only friend he’s ever heard of him having, just like that. This is the wildest day of his life.
“No pressure.”
Kai takes a deep breath and smiles. “Right. Thanks.”
Soobin smiles back, obviously a bit unsure. Kai glances at the door behind him.
“You don’t happen to be super into Skyrim or something.”
“Skyrim? No. Why? Is that your thing?”
Kai laughs at Soobin’s eager tone, but shakes his head. “No, I’m just – in case it taught you how to lockpick or something.”
Thankfully, Soobin laughs too, glancing at the lock himself. “Yeah, no dice. I thought about teaching myself how to do it just ‘cause it would be cool but the YouTube videos looked really complicated.”
Kai snorts, and takes a few steps towards Soobin. “Yeah, I bet. It would be really cool, though.”
“Right?” Soobin sounds like he’s glad Kai gets it. Their eyes meet, and Soobin scrunches his nose. “It apparently comes in handy, too.”
“Apparently.”
They both hear Soobin’s phone buzz in his hand, and Kai watches curiously as Soobin checks it quickly, just to groan at the screen.
“No good ideas?”
“He’s asking if we can just jump out the window.”
Kai laughs, looking over his shoulder at the windows. If they could even open them all the way, it’s a long way down from the third floor. “Yeah, no.”
“Exactly.”
“Anything else?”
“Do you…” Soobin pulls an incredulous face, and looks up from his phone at Kai. “Do you know how to kick out a lock on a door?”
Kai squints at the door. “I mean, I think I could figure it out, but I don’t think I’ve got that kind of firepower.”
“Me neither,” Soobin admits and shakes his head hard. “This guy’s useless in a pinch.”
Kai laughs, and comes even closer to rest next to his guitar again. “Hey, he’s got a lot of ideas, they’re all just terrible.”
Soobin throws him this weird look, one Kai can’t quite figure out. His eyes flicker over Kai’s face, linger for a moment, then shift away to the screen of his phone. “Yeah, honestly. What’s he thinking, that this is a movie?”
He doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything, just watches Soobin text furiously. He realizes he’s smiling, at some point. This is not so bad. Right? This is pretty okay.
It’s fun. Being stuck here with Soobin’s been kind of fun.
“He says I’m ungrateful, and that we should start a fire,” Soobin announces after a while, and puts his phone away. Kai pouts thoughtfully.
“Wouldn’t we just get in trouble for that on top of everything?”
Soobin shrugs, looking out into the room, then turning to look at Kai directly. “It would beat being stuck here all weekend.”
Kai’s chest seizes a little bit. “There’s no way it takes that long for someone to get us. Right? Someone’s gonna notice, or come here to work or something.”
Soobin doesn’t look very convinced – his cheeks fold into deep dimples as he purses his mouth. “Maybe.”
“Hye’s gonna notice I didn’t make it home tomorrow, at least. Definitely.”
Unless she’s sleeping over at someone’s house, maybe for the whole weekend. She wouldn’t do that without calling or texting, never has, but what if?
They hear the buzz of Soobin’s phone again, and Kai resists the urge to move closer to read over Soobin’s shoulder.
“Beomgyu says we’re screwed.”
“Beomgyu might be right,” Kai admits, and sighs heavily. Beomgyu sounds fun, even if his advice sucks. Maybe Kai should play League with them someday. “So he’s like… your best friend or something?”
It’s such an awkward question, but Soobin has to know, right? That he’s the famed loner at their school. Nice, but detached from the rest of the student body. A bit aloof, maybe.
He doesn’t look aloof right now. Not at all.
“Yeah, or something.” Soobin scratches at his neck. “We keep in touch.”
“Cool.”
“Do you…” he seems to scramble to find the right words, and Kai feels uncomfortable already. “Have? Anyone?”
No, Kai doesn’t have any friends, thank you very much. That was a very comfortable question to answer. “Not really.”
“Kang Taehyun keeps bringing you up though.”
Kai’s face probably does something undignified, but he can’t help it. “Kang Taehyun?”
“Yeah,” Soobin seems a bit uncomfortable, but there is a note of yeah, obviously in his tone. “He’s always like I’m gonna ask Kai to eat lunch with me today or like I wanna partner up with Kai for that.”
He’s imitating the tone of Kai’s classmate almost perfectly, and Kai had zero idea the two even knew each other.
“You’re friends?”
“No?” Soobin looks a bit confused, or a bit pained. Mostly like he’s not sure what to say. “Kinda? We grew up together, I guess? We’re from the same neighborhood, went to the same schools, that kinda thing. And he’s been clingy with Yeonjun hyung, and Yeonjun hyung is…”
Probably the nicest person Kai’s met in the entire school. He’s older, like Soobin, so Kai hasn’t seen him around as much, but he’s always been nice to Kai. “He’s nice.”
“Yeah, he’s really nice,” Soobin agrees a bit helplessly.
And Taehyun talks about him to a random hyung from his neighborhood. Huh.
Taehyun’s been the only one in his class to stand up for him, the kindest out of all of them, but all his offers to hang out with him always sounded like gestures of pity to Kai, so he’s refused all of them. He didn’t want to hang out with Taehyun because Taehyun felt bad for him. That would just be sad, and suck for both of them. Did he tell that to Soobin? That he felt bad? If he did, Soobin’s too nice to say it to Kai’s face, and he kind of appreciates that. It would be awkward to talk about.
“Taehyun also says you’re not really budging,” Soobin says eventually, slow and careful. “You don’t like him?”
Kai shrugs. “No, he’s alright. He’s funny, and…” he runs out of adjectives quickly. He doesn’t know Taehyun very well – he didn’t really let them get to know each other, did he? All he knows is that Taehyun plays soccer and sings for the band and he’s been good to Kai since the start.
“And?”
He swallows and looks away, reaches for his guitar to tilt it this way and that to occupy his mind. “I don’t know, I’m just.”
“Hard to get?”
It’s obvious Soobin is teasing, and Kai laughs, grateful for the reprieve from the sincerity. “Nah, I’m just awkward, and he’s not and—” he shrugs again. “It’s tough.”
It’s tough to handle, someone approaching him boldly, shamelessly, wearing their heart on their sleeve. I’m Kang Taehyun, let’s be friends. Who does that? Outside of kindergarten, anyway.
Soobin folds his hands behind his back, and leans on the door behind him again. “Would you rather hang out with someone who is awkward, then?”
The obvious answer is no, who in their right mind would prefer that, but honestly? “I think so?” Kai laughs just to ease his nerves. “Sort of? I get a bit.”
“Overwhelmed?”
“Yeah.”
“I get that.”
Kai looks up at him, and Soobin looks back, his dimples pop out and he looks up at the ceiling again.
“I’m pretty awkward.”
Kai laughs, suddenly breathless. Soobin looks at his own shoes for a change. “A little.”
But in a charming way. In a disarming way. In a way Kai thinks he likes.
“Would you…”
“Wanna hang out with you?” He’s not sure what makes him bold enough to say it this directly, but the way Soobin smiles with his lips pursed like he’s trying not to grin makes it worth it. He’s so cute. Kai shouldn’t think a potential friend of his is this fucking cute. That’s asking for trouble.
Soobin shrugs, forcefully nonchalant again.
“I think that would be pretty cool.”
His heart stutters in his chest. How easy is this? What’s it about Soobin that just makes him want to go for it?
Soobin obviously bites down on his cheek and nods with his lips still pursed. The look in his eyes is excited, even though he’s not looking at Kai at all. He’s adorable.
“Cool.” He says eventually, so carefully calm it’s funny. Kai can’t help but laugh. “Good,” he adds in English, for no reason at all, then he seems to shake himself and stands up straight. “Anyways, are you hungry?”
Kai is a bit thrown by the sudden change in both topic and tone, but he skipped lunch earlier to pore over his notebook more, so he’s all too aware that the right answer is, “Yeah, I’m starving. But I don’t have anything with me, so—”
Soobin is already taking his backpack off, though, walking over to a desk to drop in on top and rummage through it. “I have brownies. Do you like brownies? I put marshmallows in these, I know it’s supposed to be like a chocolate thing, but – have you heard of smores? You’re supposed to put graham crackers on top, but I couldn’t find those? I crumbled up some of those Lotte cookies though, and I think it’s still really good?”
He’s talking too fast again, and definitely rambling, but Kai’s honestly just in awe, watching him speed through a whole tirade about baking like it’s the easiest thing in the world, after they just had some of the most halting conversation ever. It’s somehow so endearing.
And Soobin bakes? Choi Soobin is a baker? Out of all the things he thought could be behind his school’s mystery boy, he wasn’t expecting this – or the frankly delicious-looking batch of s’mores-inspired brownies Soobin sets down on the desk like it’s no big deal.
They look fucking incredible, is what Kai thinks. “I love brownies,” is what he says. It’s close enough.
Soobin just smiles and thrusts the plastic container at him. “Have some!” Kai obliges, and as he’s lifting his bite to his mouth, he adds, “They’re super sweet though.”
And it just makes him laugh. “Yeah, I like sweet. Trust me.” He takes a bite of the brownie, perfectly gooey, especially with the addition of the melted marshmallow, with a spice kick from the cookie. It’s awesome. “My mom gets all stressed about it.”
Soobin, thankfully, finds it as funny as he does, and takes a piece of brownie for himself. “Same. She stress books me dentist appointments.”
Kai cups a hand over his mouth so he won’t spit food out when he chuckles. “Oh no.”
“It’s fine though,” Soobin says with his mouth full. “She’s just a worrier.”
Kai hums. His mom is not really the type – he couldn’t imagine her fussing over him that much, he’s not sure that he’d want to. Soobin looks like the type who would be babied though. He said noona and hyung, right? So—
“You’re the youngest?”
Soobin nods a few times, chewing his bite of brownie, then shrugs. “Hyung’s a grad student already.”
Not just by a few years like Kai’s siblings, then.
“You?”
It’s probably pretty clear by now, but. “I’m the middle child. Hye’s younger. ‘04.”
Soobin nods again. “Are you close?”
“I guess? Our parents are away a lot, so we kinda. Look out for each other.” And Kai doesn’t have any other friends to hang out with, so he hangs out with his sisters the most, but he doesn’t want to admit that to Soobin right now.
Soobin hums, and moves to sit down on one of the desks. By now, Kai’s pretty tired of standing up, too, so he sits one desk over with the guitar across his lap.
“For work?”
“Yeah.”
Soobin kicks his foot back and forth. “My mom’s a housewife, she’s home all the time.”
“That sounds nice,” Kai says awkwardly, because he can’t think of anything else to say. He couldn’t imagine having his parents around all the time, hovering, knowing about everything they get up to at home. But he’s sure it’s nice when you’re used to it.
“Most of the time, sure. I’m sure it’s nice to get to not have you parents home all the time.”
“A lot of the time, sure.”
They both chuckle. It’s not really funny, but Kai feels like they both get the irony.
Soobin offers him the container again, so he takes another brownie. He draws a leg up under himself, and swings the other back and forth. “So you’re the only one who still lives with them?”
“Yep. Last bird in the nest. It’s stressing my mom out.”
He says it so lightly Kai feels free to smile in response. “You graduate this year, right? What do you wanna do?”
“University. They want me to at least give it a shot.”
“You don’t want to?”
“I kinda haven’t…” Soobin makes a face, and takes a piece of brownie to bite into. “Figured out what I wanna do.”
Huh. That, Kai can’t relate to, either. He knows what he wants – what he’s always wanted. Since he was a kid. “No idea at all?”
“I was thinking I could study literature,” Soobin replies, but his tone is a bit unsure, like he doesn’t even know what he’s saying as the words are leaving his mouth. “Japanese, maybe.”
“You’re good at Japanese?”
“No.” Soobin says it so bluntly Kai bites his lips to stifle a laugh. “But I wanna be.”
Kai wipes some crumbs off of the corner of his mouth. Soobin watches him do it, and licks a dollop of marshmallow off of his own. “How come?”
Soobin has a much bigger reaction than Kai expected him to, shifting in his seat, ears getting immediately pink. “I, uh— are you into anime at all?”
No way. “Yeah? I love anime.”
Soobin makes a weird motion with his hands. “I thought maybe I could… work in the business. Somehow. You know? Make subtitles or something. Translate manga, maybe. Something.”
Kai’s eyebrows shoot up, not because it sounds stupid to him, but because it sounds surprisingly sensible. It’s kind of like his own back up dream – if he’s not talented enough to do it himself, he just wants to participate somehow. Somewhere. Be a part of it.
“That sound awesome.”
Soobin makes a noise of reluctance and shrugs his shoulders. He seems embarrassed about it, even though Kai feels like he shouldn’t be. Doesn’t need to be. “You?”
“I wanna be a sound technician,” Kai says on autopilot, because that’s what he’s supposed to tell people. What he’s supposed to want.
But Soobin looks at the guitar in his lap like he’s seeing right through him. “You do?”
And Kai thinks about it for a long moment before putting a hand over the neck of his guitar and saying, “No. I wanna make music. I mean, I wanna be a musician.”
Soobin nods slowly, like he’s thinking about it, looking off into middle distance. “Like an idol?”
Kai laughs. Please; he’s too awkward to be an idol; he’d never make it in that industry. “No.”
To his surprise, Soobin tilts his head in a silly way then, obviously teasing. “Rock star?”
He grins, and shakes his head. “No.”
Maybe. But that feels like a vain dream to have. He doesn’t want Soobin to think that he’s full of himself.
“Indie?”
Kai pulls a face. “I’m too scared to get tattoos.”
It startles a laugh out of Soobin. “Classical?”
“I look terrible in a suit.”
“Musicals?”
“I can’t dance.”
Soobin pulls an exaggerated thoughtful face. “Rap?”
Kai’s response is just a long, expressive look that Soobin responds to with a wise nod. Then he snaps his fingers loudly.
“Trot.”
“Bingo.”
“Ah,” Soobin sighs victoriously, lifting his finger in the air. “Got it. You can definitely make it. You’ve got that face all the aunties and grannies would love.”
It’s not what he expects to hear, so he barks out a laugh. “Yeah? Don’t I look a bit too…” Western? He tries not to think about it too hard.
Soobin waves a hand in the air. “Nah. You’ve got those… pinchable cheeks,” he mimes a pinch in the air, and Kai laughs again just because of how ridiculous it looks. “They’d love you.”
“Thanks?” he says with a laugh, and Soobin grins at him easily.
“Don’t mention it.”
Then Kai opens his mouth and closes it. Opens and closes it. He shouldn’t say it. Don’t say it, Kai. It’s a dumb thing to say. Don’t.
“You’ve got those heartthrob idol looks, though.”
Soobin blinks, and his ears are pink again. “Huh?”
“You’ve just…” Kai waves his hand in front of his face awkwardly. “You know. You’ve got this…” Why the fuck did he say that. “Sweet boyfriend face thing going on.” Jesus Christ.
Soobin narrows his eyes. He’s pink in his face now too. “Thanks?”
“It’s just…” He’s just digging his own grave deeper and deeper now. “I hear the girls in my class talk about you a lot.”
“Oh.” Soobin looks taken aback, then he looks down at his own lap. “Right.”
He knows, then. That the girls are obsessed with him. He’d be surprised if he didn’t hear any of it, honestly. Even the guys talk about it, even if it’s only to complain how annoying it is that Soobin’s got all the girls swooning even though he only opens his mouth four times a day.
Kai swallows nervously. “You probably get a lot of confessions.”
Soobin shrugs and starts scratching his neck again. “I guess? It doesn’t. I don’t…”
He tilts his head. Awkward as this is, he’s kind of curious. “You don’t?”
Soobin licks his lips, and kicks one leg out, straight ahead of himself. “I don’t really like girls?” He says to his own knee. “At all?”
Kai freezes up. His heart is suddenly in his throat. Soobin doesn’t let his leg drop, and Kai stares at it, at his scuffed sneaker and the peek of a white sock between his heel and the hem of his pants. Oh shit. Holy shit. Kai should say something. Kai should definitely say something.
“That’s… okay.”
“Yeah?” Soobin sounds breathless. Kai looks up at his face and it’s so red. He looks like he might be tearing up. Kai feels terrible.
“I mean I— me too, hyung. Me too.”
What? He didn’t mean to say that. He swallows dry, eyes widening. He did not mean to say that. He means it, sure. But Soobin didn’t need to know that.
Soobin lets his foot drop, finally, and it swings back and forth. Kai shifts on top of the desk he was sitting on.
“Ah. Okay.”
And that’s that. They’re quiet and not looking at each other. Kai’s face is burning with a blush. Soobin’s the first person Kai has ever come out to he wasn’t related to, and it happened the first day they met. Has it even been an hour? Holy shit.
Kai closes and opens his fist over and over again on top of the body of the guitar. This was both easier and harder than he imagined.
“So you were, uh. Practicing before I came in?”
Kai nods, then realizes Soobin isn’t looking at him and hums an agreement, too. “Uh-huh. Yeah.”
“What song will you be playing?”
“Just, um… couple songs I wrote?”
“You write songs?” Soobin looks at him again, and he sounds so impressed Kai feels instantly shy.
“Yeah?” He plays with the strings of the guitar nervously. “What kinda trot singer can’t write his own songs?”
It makes Soobin laugh, and it soothes his nerves a little until he manages a smile.
“That’s really cool, Kai.”
It’s weird to hear Soobin say his name. He nods. “Thanks, Soobin-ssi.”
Soobin bites his lips until his mouth forms a straight line, dimples appearing on each side again. “You called me hyung earlier.”
Whoops. Kai shifts again. “Oh. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s, uh… could you?”
That’s not exactly the way people tend to phrase that, is it? But… “I’d like to.”
“Oh-kayyyy,” Soobin says a bit exaggeratedly, and his leg swings back and forth like he’s nervous.
“Thanks, hyung.”
“Uh-huh.” It’s weirdly high-pitched, like he’s trying to play cool again. Cute. “Do you… would you play one of those songs for me?”
It’s Kai’s turn to be the nervous one again. But he’s good at this, right? This, he can do confidently. Even though he’s never played his own songs like this for people.
“Totally.” He clears his throat and adjusts the guitar to get the right grip, then pauses. “Actually, just let me go grab my notes. Sometimes I get confused about the lyrics a bit.”
“I’ll get it. It’s the blue one right? At the front?” Soobin casually slides off the desk, looking eager to get to walk around, so Kai doesn’t protest.
“Yeah it’s on top of my hoodie.”
“Yes,” Soobin replies in English, and Kai strums his guitar as he walks off to the front of the room. Eventually, Kai can’t really take it and turns on top of the desk just enough to be able to watch him.
It’s kind of like Kai’s looking at him for the first time. He’s tall and broad-shouldered, and leaner than his soft face might make one think. Kai’s notebook looks tiny in his hands, and he loosens the tie of his school uniform as he walks back in Kai’s direction, popping the top button as well. He smiles at Kai as he hands him the notebook, and he has these pretty heart-shaped lips. Kind eyes. He takes a seat on the desk closer to Kai this time, mostly just leaning on it. He starts rolling up his sleeves and Kai has to look away, starts flipping through the notebook instead.
He’s really handsome, and he likes boys. That’s fine. That’s okay. None of Kai’s business.
Tell that to the blood rushing to his cheeks.
He finds his summer song, and shifts on the desk so he can rest it on one corner of it while he sits on the other with one leg propped against the floor. Come on, Kai. This is your entire life. This is music. You understand this. This makes sense, when nothing else does. It’s just singing.
In the middle of the song, he makes the mistake of looking at Soobin, and he looks so entranced, so focused on him that he almost fumbles, almost stutters on his next line, but he makes it, and then he sings the next while still looking at Soobin, and he forgets to look at his lyrics and chords at all. He knows this song. He can feel this song, when he’s playing it. Sunburned shoulders and seawater, dancing in the sand. The way the sky looks like it stretches on forever over the water, like a long summer day that feels like it’s never going to end. Things like that.
When he’s done, he strums the guitar emptily and looks at his own knees. Soobin claps politely.
“Encore?” he says hopefully, and Kai feels that warm pride again. Nothing else feels quite like this.
“You wanna hear this song again?” Kai looks up, and Soobin shrugs with a smile. He’s gripping the edge of the desk, and it’s distracting, drawing Kai’s attention away from his face and to his now bare forearms.
“Or another one. You’re really good.” Soobin sounds painfully sincere. Kai lifts a hand to ruffle through his bangs, hiding his face from view in the process.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t tell Taehyun, but you might be the best singer I’ve ever met.”
Kai barks out a laugh, just to ease the tension in his chest. “It can be our secret.”
Soobin looks at him with his eyes narrowed with a smile, and Kai’s not getting distracted from them by anything. The roof could fly off the building right now for all he cares.
“Thanks, Kai.”
“Of course, hyung.”
Soobin leans back, and he looks giddy, he grins and swings his long legs between them. “More song?”
Kai nods, and leans down to the notebook to flip the page. “More song.”
Soobin does a little woo and another clap, and Kai can’t help but laugh. He really is adorable.
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
Kai plays him the other song he’s planning to play at the festival, then another one of his, then questions Soobin about his music taste and gets to impress him by playing his favorite songs that Soobin plays him off of his phone on the guitar by ear. Then Soobin asks after his, so he plays him a few of his favorites on his phone to give his fingers a rest, then plays him some anime openings he memorized on the keyboard at the front of the room, since the actual piano is locked up. Soobin looks so excited by all of it, Kai’s kind of losing it with how fond he feels by the time Soobin starts listing his top 5 anime and is making Kai do the same so they can compare. They don’t like all the same things as much as each other, but they enjoy the same things, just to different extents. And it’s interesting to talk about, it’s interesting to hear why Soobin thinks something Kai thought was just an interesting watch is a modern masterpiece. Soobin is passionate and opinionated, surprisingly vehement when he thinks he’s right. He gesticulates a lot when he gets going, grabs at Kai to make his point stick more.
He’s more on top of trends and new shows Kai has never seen, and he definitely watches more movies and dramas than him, and he sacrifices one page in his song notebook to an ever expanding list of recommendations written down in Soobin’s neat handwriting. He starts off with dramas he was offended Kai didn’t know, then added anime and movies, songs and YouTube channels. He writes down Violet Evergarden, underlines it, traces it to make it bolder, then circles it and taps the paper strictly.
“I swear to god, Kai. You have to. You just have to. Then you have to tell me what you thought.”
And Kai is so endeared at that point he doesn’t even hesitate for a second to say, “I don’t have your number.”
And Soobin is obviously so locked into making Kai watch what seems to be his favorite anime of all time that he immediately scribbles down his number on top of the recommendations page, then adds his email, a bunch of his other social media handles before handing the notebook that.
“Just find me on one of these. Or just…” he waves his hand vaguely. “Come sit with me at lunch sometime.”
Kai gets a bit lightheaded thinking about having lunch with Soobin, but he nods. “Alright. You got it, hyung.”
Soobin smiles, obviously satisfied, then reaches out to ruffle Kai’s hair, the first really casual touch they’ve shared this entire time. “Good.”
Kai bats his hand away, but just gently enough to show that he doesn’t mind.
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
It turns out Soobin has a manga he’s been reading in his bag, and they end up sitting shoulder-to-shoulder on the floor under the windows together, letting the sun warm their feet while Soobin explains the story to him in the messiest way possible, explaining what each character’s “deal” is whenever they show up on the page for the first time, going through their entire backstories and story lines up until the volume he’s holding one by one. It’s so jumbled, out of order and a little confusing, but Kai has a blast listening to it all.
Soobin is really funny, it turns out – a bit dry and a bit picky and bluntly critical of the fictional characters at the same time as he is ready to defend his favorites until he’s running out of breath. He makes funny voices while retelling scenes and sound effects and Kai is absolutely enraptured. Once or twice, he disagrees with Soobin mildly just to set him off a bit more, and it’s fun, Kai falls over laughing at one point, gasping so hard that tears spring into his eyes.
Once Soobin is done retelling the story, they actually try to read the manga together, but without Soobin’s commentary it’s almost boring in comparison, and Kai accidentally slumps over onto Soobin’s shoulder as he starts getting sleepy, and only notices when he realizes that they haven’t turned the page in way too long. Soobin doesn’t move away, or jostle him, just keeps holding the book between their knees.
He jolts upright, clearing his throat loudly.
“Ah, sorry hyung. Sleepy.”
“It’s fine, though?” Soobin says, and his voice is a bit too high, even though his tone is convincingly casual as he pulls the book into his own lap fully. “I didn’t mind.”
Kai leans over his own knees and bites his lips. Soobin was nice to rest against – warm and soft but solid. Cuddly. All those nice things. Kai peeks at him, half-hidden by his own arm, and Soobin has the book positioned as if he’s ready to read, but he’s looking at Kai.
Kai smiles, and Soobin smiles back before burying his face in the book.
Okay.
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
They eat more brownies while hanging out on the floor – Kai folds his hoodie to put it under his head so he can lay down, and they talk about food, about their favorites, about Kai’s terrible experiences with trying to cook, about how Soobin learned how to bake because he used to be clingy with his mom as a kid and got in her way in the kitchen so much she decided to involve him in the process.
He shows Kai pictures of cakes and cookies and pies he’s made, and Kai oohhs and ahhhs and pouts about nobody in his house being into baking. Soobin sheepishly offers to bring him samples the next time he makes something, and Kai doesn’t hesitate to accept.
They clean up the entire container of brownies between them and then Kai lies on his back with his hands folded on his stomach, full of sugary goodness and content.
He starts nodding off, losing his train of thought here and there then coming back to. Is this a food coma? They haven’t eaten that much, but it’s not that late and Kai still feels so sleepy and comfortable. He pats his own stomach, then reaches up to scratch his ear.
They haven’t eaten that much in one go – still, there might have been enough in that container to share with a whole class had Soobin wanted to.
Wait.
He pauses with his hand to his ear, then lets it flop onto the floor next to him as he turns towards Soobin, who has his head tilted back and eyes closed, but Kai is reasonably sure he’s not asleep, either.
“Hyung?”
“Hm?” Soobin doesn’t open his eyes, or his mouth for that matter.
“Why’d you bring all that to school? No way could you have eaten that by yourself.”
This time, when Soobin doesn’t open his eyes, it looks deliberately evasive. He clears his throat and shifts around, scooting his butt this way and that and tugging at his loosened tie, moving around so much that doing it with his eyes closed just looks silly. “Uh. I overshot it.”
“By like five more servings?”
He’s so red when he actually looks at Kai, pursing his mouth so hard his lips disappear. “It’s not like that.”
“Like what?” Kai wasn’t coming to any conclusions, but maybe he should have been.
Soobin wipes his hands on his pants. “I just thought we might get hungry while I help you with your stuff, so I brought something.”
Slowly, Kai sits up, leaning on his arms. “So wait, you actually came here to help me with my performance for the festival?”
Soobin blinks at him, then looks away, then looks at him again. “Yeah? I didn’t know you were just…” he trails off and gestures at him, but his point is clear enough, anyway.”
“Okay, but why? No offense but…” Kai gestures between the two of them. “It’s not like we know each other.”
“I wanted to,” Soobin says a bit bluntly, then drops his eyes to his pants and wipes his hands on them again. “Get to know you. I’ve seen you around, and… and Kang Taehyun keeps talking about you, and Yeonjun hyung was needling me about it, and Beomgyu said it was a good idea. I just wanted… I thought I could help you, we could talk, hang out, maybe, I don’t know.”
Wow. That simple. Soobin was just, for some reason, just making a concentrated effort to be his friend. Because he what? Seemed cool?
“Why me?” Is the most pressing issue right now.
And to his shock, Soobin’s reaction is a red-faced avoidance of his eyes. “Just… ‘cause.”
“‘Cause?”
“‘Cause.”
Soobin is handsome and awkward and gay and was just itching to get to know Kai. For reasons. Just because.
He swallows and looks away. He’s being conceited, right? There’s no way. No way.
But if there’s a chance. If, maybe…
Kai crawls across the floor to the window, and settles down next to Soobin, who’s obviously tensed up, gone completely rigid and motionless. He takes a deep breath, and then he winds his arm under Soobin’s, pulling it close to his own chest, and lays his head on Soobin’s shoulder.
He can feel Soobin freak out under him, but he doesn’t try to pull away, if anything, it’s as if he tries to stay perfectly still to not give Kai a reason to move away himself. Kai just holds position; rubs his cheek into the top of Soobin’s shoulder once he’s been there for a second, and closes his eyes to focus on breathing calmly while his heart keeps hammering too hard. He can barely make a friend – he’s never dated anyone, never really done this with anyone. But it feels nice, with Soobin. He’s big and warm and smells like chocolate. If he’s read this wrong and Soobin wasn’t thinking about him that way at all, then he’s just definitely ruined this for himself. This is too good – how is he supposed to back away now?
But Soobin stays put, and he slowly starts to relax, stops holding his breath. He leans into Kai, just a bit, but Kai feels it and it makes him smile, and he’s sure Soobin feels his cheek move against his shoulder. Then Soobin moves the hand of the arm Kai is clinging to – he reaches for Kai’s free hand, and takes it in his own when Kai gives it to him willingly. Soobin doesn’t try to slot their fingers together, just holds his palm in his, but it still makes Kai so fluttery he thinks he might throw up. Holy shit.
He squeezes Soobin’s hand, and Soobin squeezes back, almost too hard. He has strong hands, and for his own safety Kai stops that train of thought right there. Not… not today. Not on the first day they met while they’re locked in a room together. This isn’t a romance novel, and it’s definitely not a porn video. Oh god.
To distract himself, he tilts his head up to look at Soobin – this was easier when they were not looking at each other, but now he wants to, now that they’ve settled into place and Soobin finally feels relaxed under his hands. He catches a small smile on Soobin’s face, then watches it widen as he notices Kai looking and looks down at him.
Is it childish to think whoa when a handsome guy smiles at you from up close? Is it lame to think that while he’s holding your hand? Because whoa.
Maybe they should kiss or something. Kai doesn’t think he has the stomach for it yet, but if this was a movie…
He bites his lip, and Soobin looks at it and then quickly looks away like he’s thinking the same thing. And honestly, that’s enough for Kai. He grins to himself come more, and curls even close to Soobin, pressing against him more, nuzzling with his cheek. Soobin hesitantly reaches out to pet the back of his head, and Kai’s eyes close as he ruffles he hair behind his ear.
Like a dog. This is so stupid. But it’s so pleasant.
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“Kai!”
“Soobin!”
“Soobin hyung!”
“Huening-ssi!”
Kai hears the noise, but his brain refuses to compute it, and he refuses to open his eyes. He’s comfy, he’s warm and he was sleeping. He winds his arms tighter around the warmth he’s clinging to, and hides his face in it further when the light hits his face. Fuck off, fuck all the way off, he’s resting—
“Oh wow.”
“What?”
The word rumbles against Kai’s face, and he whines in protest. Let him sleep.
“Soobin.” This time said laughingly, followed by a squeaky little gasp. Kinda familiar. None of Kai’s business, though. He’s not a Soobin.
But the hands folded on his hip are shifting, and he’s colder when they’re gone and he hates that.
“What’re you—”
“Could have asked you the same thing.”
Oh that’s— that’s Taehyun. Kai knows that voice well. Maybe this does concern him, after all. He blinks his eyes open to brilliant white and black. A cone of light just a few inches from his face, illuminating a white dress shirt and a pale forearm. That’s familiar. He slowly starts to sit up.
“Some…” Next to him, a pretty dark-haired guy lifts a hand that was resting on Kai’s back and rubs his face. He looks like he just woke up, too. “Some guys from Kai’s class locked the door, and—” He squints at the people standing a few paces off, and Kai follows his eyes to the two. “How’d you get in here?”
It’s Taehyun from Kai’s class, and Yeonjun from the year above. They’re dressed in black like a couple burglars, with caps and masks pulled down off of their faces for now, their hoods dropped and Taehyun’s sleeves casually rolled up. Yeonjun’s holding a flashlight, the cone of light that he shone in Kai’s face earlier and woke him up. Right. Right.
Taehyun reaches into the pocket of his hoodie and takes out something metal that glints in the light coming from the flashlight. It looks suspiciously like an honest-to-god lockpick. Kang Taehyun can pick a lock? Kai is not awake enough for this.
“Dude, you’ve gotta teach me that,” Soobin says emphatically.
Soobin, right. Soobin. Kai looks at him, and only then starts recognizing the position they’re still in. Kai’s legs thrown over Soobin’s, the two of them still curled against the wall under the windows. Kai was sleeping against Soobin’s chest, with Soobin’s hands interlocked on his hip, but now one of them still rests on his leg. Kai has his arms wound around Soobin like he was a body pillow, but now that he sat up, his hand just lies on Soobin’s soft stomach comfortably.
And Taehyun and Yeonjun just walked in on them like that. Okay. Great. Awesome.
He blushes so hard his cheeks start to hurt.
“Sure,” Taehyun shrugs casually and puts the lockpick back in his pocket.
“How’d you know we were here, anyway?” He asks past a lump in his throat. At least nobody seems eager to address the elephant in the room.
“We didn’t,” Taehyun admits, glancing at Yeonjun briefly. “But I had a feeling something was weird. I knew Soobin hyung went to see you because he came to ask me if I knew which classroom you were in, so I thought I’d wait for you after class, to ask how it went and stuff, but neither of you showed up? So I thought maybe you’d gone home before the band was done practicing? Or I just missed you somehow, but when I went home, Yeonjun hyung was texting me that he went to Soobin hyung’s and nobody was home? So I thought maybe you went to Kai’s? But then—”
“I got a text from Kim Chaewon from my dance crew that one of her friends’ brother didn’t come home and if something weird happened at our school today, and when I asked who the friend was, she said it was Huening Lea and that her brother wasn’t answering his phone, so I called Taehyun and we went to Kai’s house, and his sister was freaking out because Kai was texting her really urgently to call him back but when she tried he didn’t answer so she was super worried, so we volunteered to go back to the school to see if we could figure out where the hell the two of you went.”
Kai’s mouth drops open. No. No.
His phone is all the way over on the other side of the room, forgotten on top of one of the desks when they decided to go hang out on the floor and read. He hasn’t even glanced at it, he was so preoccupied with Soobin the whole time.
But he didn’t leave the sound off, did he? No way.
20 missed calls and about 17 text messages, from both his sisters. Kai stares at his phone, mortified.
“Oh, we just…” It’s Soobin, and he sounds about as embarrassed as Kai feels. Some damsels in distress they were, forgetting to try and be rescued because they were busy having themselves a little date. Fuck.
“Where’s your phone, hyung? We were texting you, too. Yeonjun hyung called you like five times.”
“What?” There’s fumbling, then a groan, then the unmistakable smack of Soobin’s forehead hitting his palm. “Fuck.”
Kai turns around with his phone in his hand just to see Taehyun and Yeonjun both crossing their arms, obviously unimpressed.
“Beomgyu was being an asshole so I put my phone on Do Not Disturb – it’s a force of habit, I’m so sorry.”
Kai has to put his hand over his mouth to not laugh out loud. This is ridiculous. They could have been out of here hours ago. It’s the middle of the night – Kai’s sisters have been freaking out.
And fuck this not having friends thing – Soobin obviously has enough people around him who’ll call in the cavalry if he doesn’t answer his phone. Taehyun has the same tone in his voice talking to Soobin that Bahiyyih has when she’s mad at Kai about something, and Yeonjun wouldn’t have done all this either if he didn’t give a damn about him. They’re treating him like family.
“Hyung, you’re so dumb,” Taehyun says flatly, but somehow he still sounds affectionate.
Instead of pointing out the lack of respect for his elders, Yeonjun snorts loudly. “Kid’s got a point, Soobin, what the hell.”
Soobin has his face buried in his hands. Taehyun reaches up to adjust the bill of his cap, flicking it further up on his forehead.
“Maybe hyung was not that bothered by being stuck here with Kai,” he says lightly, just to snicker when Soobin lunges in his direction to try and smack him fruitlessly.
“Hey! Taehyun! Shut up!”
Kai adjusts the hand covering his mouth to cover his face, happy he’s done it when Taehyun looks at him next, raising his eyebrows like he’s waiting for him to say something. Yeonjun turns around to look at him too, and the flashlight is on him now and that’s humiliating.
“I…” What do they want him to say? That he’s pretty much sure Soobin has a crush on him now and Kai is so embarrassingly down? “Soobin hyung’s been nice.”
What? Taehyun raises a single eyebrow, obviously exaggerating his expression.
“Hyung?”
Kai drops his hand off of his face and opens his mouth to defend himself, but that was quick, wasn’t it. Sunbae-I-know-the-name-of Choi Soobin to Soobin hyung in less than 24 hours. But is that Kai’s fault? Soobin is adorable and he obviously loves it when Kai calls him hyung, and Kai is not straight enough to not give him the satisfaction.
“It was an accident.” It’s kinda true.
“Oh, I’m sure,” Taehyun responds in the least sympathetic tone Kai has ever heard. Soobin tries to hit him again, but Taehyun dances away skillfully.
Yeonjun turns to Soobin again, flashes the light in his face with a grin to annoy him, then bobs it up and down. “Anyways, we’re driving you guys home. Soobin owes us dinner, or at least some snacks. And Kai-ssi,” Yeonjun points the flashlight at Kai’s stomach. “You better call your sisters.”
“We offered to bring your younger sister here but she didn’t want to get in a car with two guys she’s never met,” Taehyun offers.
“Good,” Soobin pipes up from his spot on the floor.
Taehyun shrugs, then jerks his chin towards the door. “You can go call them, we’ll get your things together so we can get out of here.”
Kai bites his lip hard and nods. “Thanks, Taehyun.”
His classmate gives him a small smile with a nod, and Kai suddenly feels guilty about how hard he’d been turning his attempts at befriending him down this entire time. Taehyun’s a good guy.
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Kai felt too embarrassed to walk side-by-side with Soobin as they made their way down to the ground floor, so he stick to Taehyun’s side instead, and they walks a few steps behind the other two, who are walking with their heads together, talking quietly. Yeonjun keeps grabbing at Soobin in a familiar way and laughing easily. No friends. Yeah right. Every now and then, Soobin looks over his shoulder at Kai, and he smiles or makes a shy face when their eyes meet and Kai’s heart skips a beat. He’s screwed.
“Sorry about all this,” he says quietly on the stairs between the second and third floor.
“Huh?” Taehyun looks at him, confused.
“It’s my fault – they wanted to mess with me, and I got everyone else all caught up in it. You’re out here in the middle of night when you could be in bed right now.”
But Taehyun just snorts in the face of Kai’s sincere, sheepish tone. “Are you kidding? I never get to use my lockpicks like this – I never get to break into places. This is the best night of my life.”
And Taehyun is so casual about it, even though he pretty much broke the law tonight. Like it’s just an adventure. Something fun to do on a Friday night. Saturday now, maybe – Kai didn’t check the clock when he was checking in with his sisters. They both nearly bit his head off, but he deserved that.
“Who was it?” Taehyun’s tone is still calm, but his expression has changed a bit. His eyes are too perceptive on Kai’s face, even though there’s barely enough light coming from their phones they’re shining down at the stairs for them to see each other properly.
“Who was who?” He’s playing dumb – but Taehyun doesn’t call him out.
“The three guys from the track team? Minjun and the other two bastards?”
Taehyun swears so smoothly Kai almost chokes, but he shakes his head vehemently. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah, it matters,” Taehyun retorts, not unkindly, but pointedly. “We’re taking revenge.”
“What? No, we’re not.”
“Yes, we are – they’ve been pissing me off all semester, but this? This is bullshit. Locking you in here overnight? Fuck them.”
Kai’s chest seizes a little. “It’ll just get me in more trouble.”
Taehyun bumps his shoulder into Kai’s. “We gotta show them you’re more trouble than you’re worth. And that if they’ve got a problem with you, they’ve got a problem with me. The band will back us up, too, if we need.”
“What?” The words make Kai dizzy. What is Taehyun talking about?
“If we need strength in numbers, then with the rest of the band it’s six against three, right? Even if I’m like the only one who can fight, they’re not gonna take their chances with all of us. They can count to six. Probably.”
Despite himself, Kai snorts at that, and Taehyun smiles up at him. Kai nudges his shoulder like Taehyun did to him, and Taehyun nudges him back.
It’s a terrible idea, but Taehyun seems like the type of guy who can make the stupidest idea sound exciting. Like lockpicking their way into a locked school building in the middle of the night.
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“You lied to me~”
It’s teasing and light-hearted, but Soobin looks so hurt that Kai has to squeeze his eyes shut to stop himself from laughing.
“You said you had no one who could bust you out of that classroom.”
Soobin’s mouth drops open, and he looks down the path between Kai’s home and the road at where Yeonjun’s car idles while they say goodbye. Taehyun and Yeonjun stayed in the car, after making one too many jokes at their expense, while Soobin walked Kai up to his door. Unfortunately, it feels exactly like being dropped off at home after a date. Kai’s heart is racing, and his palms are sweaty, and he’s so happy and excited.
He just got cruelly pranked by some of the worst people he’s ever met, but holy shit did that work out in his favor.
“I, uh. I didn’t know they would.”
And that makes Kai a bit sad, so he reaches out to smooth his hand down Soobin’s arm. “They care about you.”
“I guess they do,” Soobin says slowly, then looks at him, smiles and drops his eyes. “Sorry about the. Putting my phone on DND thing.”
Kai huffs out a laugh and ruffles through his own hair. “Sorry for not turning my ringer on.”
“We really fucked that up.”
“I don’t know,” Kai says with a shrug, scrunching his nose. “It worked out pretty well. It was fun.” He takes a deep breath. “Being stuck with you was really fun. And you bake killer brownies. And your friends are pretty alright.”
Soobin is blushing. Kai’s so proud of himself for making that happen, almost as proud as he feels when he nails a song he’s playing. Almost.
“Thanks, Kai.”
“Sure, hyung.”
“You’re—” Soobin pauses, like he’s too shy to continue, and Kai is just so full of this glow that he doesn’t even mind.
“Super good at singing, I know. And smart. And handsome. And cute? Thanks, hyung, you shouldn’t have.”
Soobin laughs, and looks at him directly, and he looks tired but so pretty this up close anyway. They’re standing really close. Kissing distance close. Accidental first date feels too early for a first kiss, but it’s on his mind.
“All of that. I swear, Kai – all of that.”
“I know~ I’m awesome.”
“Better than I imagined,” Soobin says sincerely, and then sound like he regrets saying that.
“Did you imagine a lot?”
Soobin’s red up to his hairline, and maybe Kai shouldn’t have asked that. “Kinda.”
Kai hums like that doesn’t make him feel insane. “You’re bad at imagining, hyung. If it’s that easy to beat your fantasy.”
He doesn’t make eye contact when he says it, but he looks into Soobin’s eyes with a smile when he snorts.
“But I don’t have to imagine now, right?”
Kai shrugs, forcibly nonchalant. He sways back and forth, gripping the strap of his guitar case maybe too tightly to pull it off.
“‘Cause you’re gonna play League with me and Beomgyu.”
He nods.
“And you’ll come watch Taehyun’s band with me at the festival.”
A smile, and another nod.
“And we’ll get ice cream?”
“Yep.”
“And you’ll introduce me to your sisters.”
Kai laughs. “Sure.”
“And you’ll marry me.”
He bursts out laughing, embarrassed but delighted, shoving at Soobin’s chest. “Hyung!”
“What?”
“You’re stupid.” He hits Soobin’s chest again, gently, then pats it. “I’ll think about it.”
He’s joking, but Soobin’s laugh is happy, anyway. “You’re cute.”
Kai has been thinking that about Soobin all day, but it’s still heart-stopping to have that turned around on him out loud. “Hyung’s cuter,” he shoots back just to not lose this one.
Then Soobin groans exaggeratedly, and takes a step back. “Kai, you gotta go. Or I’m never gonna let you leave.”
He giggles, honest-to-god giggles. “You’re so extra.”
“Go. Go! Shoo.”
Soobin’s gesticulating wildly, playing it up, and Kai catches his wrists just to pull him in and kiss him on one cheek.
There. It’s a compromise. Soobin’s cheek is velvety soft under his lips. He must be amazing at shaving, or big into skincare.
It shuts him up immediately, too. He stands frozen, pink, and so pretty even in the low lighting. Kai’s so fucking lucky.
“Good night, hyung. I’ll see you later.”
He unlocks the door and steps through, hears his younger sister squeal upstairs and the door of her room slam as he sets off to run to the door.
“Night, Kai,” Soobin replies, catching his eye with a smile on his face as Kai’s closing the door.