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‘Twas a peaceful day in the Owl House. Amity had just finished a long day of work, so she and Luz were relaxing on the sofa watching crystal ball. King was excitedly showing off his new height to Eda, he was starting to grow quite a bit now! Stringbean, Ghost and Owlbert were playfighting on the floor beside the sofa. There was nobody else other than them present, not even Hooty (he was off with Lilith right now) and it was peaceful…
Until an impact so loud it slammed the door open sounded outside.
“GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, KRIS! Where the FUCK are we?!”
Everyone’s heads whipped over to the still open door to look outside, where two newcomers had suddenly materialised from the ether.
One of them was a human judging from the rounded ears that momentarily peeked out of their hair. Except… their skin was blue. They wore silver armour with a magenta scarf, and on their back were a sword and shield, giving them the full appearance of a knight.
Their friend looked like some monstrous reptile demon, her skin a very bright magentaish purple, and the ripped black jacket with spiked bracelets really sold the image of a bruiser. The massive axe she was packing only upped the aggression even more.
While everyone was still processing these unexpected guests, Luz immediately stepped forward to greet them in her usual fashion.
“Hi there! I’m Luz Noceda, nice to meet you! And to answer your question, you’re in the Demon Realm! What are your names?”
“Uuh..” Susie took a second to play back the rapid fire introduction she was given.
“Uh… my name’s Susie, and that’s Kris… nice to meet you, I guess- WAIT DID YOU SAY DEMON REALM?!” Susie grabbed Kris’ shoulders and shook them. “DID WE DIE AND GO TO HELL KRIS?!”
“No! No, no, don’t worry! Nobody’s dead here! It just happens that most of the people that live here call themselves demons. Unless they’re witches.”
“Oh… yeah, I guess there’s not enough fire here to be Hell. So are you a witch then?”
“Nope, I’m a human!” Kris almost jumped from how hard they perked up at that.
“We’re witches.” Amity spoke up as she stepped next to Luz. “You can tell because our ears are pointy. And because we can do magic.”
To demonstrate, Amity cast a spell circle and summoned a simple abomination. Nothing fancy or showy, just a simple demonstration that seemed to leave Susie gobsmacked (Kris had gone back to stone cold stoic after their brief surprise earlier.)
“Aw, sick! Y’know, we can do magic too, but only in…” Susie seemed to notice something about herself. “Wait a sec, we’re in our Dark World fits! Does that mean…?”
Susie raised her axe and held it upright in front of her. She concentrated, and the blade started glowing purple. Her eyes flashed, and then she swung her weapon, casting a Rude Buster directly at a nearby tree, cutting it in half! Eda whistled at the display.
“Not bad, kid! Whaddya call that spell?”
“And can you teach me how to do it too? As much as I love demolishing buildings by shouting WEH, I’d like some more instruments of senseless violence at my disposal.” King hopped on to Susie’s shoulder with stars in his eyes.
“Sure! I love teaching kids how to be violent thugs.”
Back inside the Owl House, the usual residents were discussing with their new guests.
“So that purple goop monster is called an abomination?” Susie inquired.
“Yes! On their own, they’re quite strong, but naturally that also depends on how adept the summoner is at magic. Abomination goo has other uses too, like fuel, crafting tools, armour or really anything you can think of!” Amity explained with great enthusiasm. It wasn’t often she got to infodump about why she loves her job to someone.
“Bet you made some pretty neat stuff with it.”
“As a matter of fact, I’m the CEO and owner of BlightTech, where we specialise in abomination-based technology.” Amity boasted with a little pride.
“Sick! Mind if I pitch some ideas?” Susie gained a dangerous glint in her eyes.
“Ooh! Ooh! Me too, I wanna pitch ideas too!” King emerged from Susie’s hair, shouting with excitement. Despite the monster not realising the baby Titan was hiding out in her mane, she was barely phased.
Meanwhile, Eda and Luz were talking with Kris, who had taken a great interest in the latter.
“So, you’re from the Human Realm, and didn’t grow up here as the only human?” Kris mumbled with barely audible disappointment.
“Yeah, I kinda ended up here by accident. Best accident of my life though!” Luz added with a wink.
“Kind of an oddly specific question there, kid. Any reason you were curious?” Eda raised an eyebrow at this bizarre human.
Kris turned their gaze elsewhere for a moment, their completely stoic face betraying no emotion. They sighed.
“I’m the only human in my town. Everyone else is a monster. Which is fine, except it gets kinda lonely when you look nothing like your parents.”
“Are your parents nice at least?” Luz asked sympathetically.
“They’re divorced.” That made human and witch alike wince.
“Sorry…”
“Luz, honey, can you please help me explain to Susie and King why I can’t make a machine that will get them unbanned from Free Ham Sandwich Day?” Amity was massaging her temples while King and Susie looked at her pleadingly.
“You were also banned from that, Susie?” Luz was shocked by this astronomical coincidence. She got over that quickly though-her awesome girlfriend needed headache kisses.
“Yeah, for NO REASON! Well, ok, there is a reason, BUT IT’S BULLSHIT!” Susie stopped her mini-rant while she watched Luz coddle Amity.
“Damn, these bitches gay. Good for you, good for you.”
“Yeah, it’s all cute the first few times, but eventually it just gets annoying, especially when you’re just trying to sleep in a few extra minutes.” Eda glared at the duo for a moment, but there was no weight behind it.
“Please don’t tell me you’re gross like that.” King asked Susie.
“Nah! Pretty sure Noelle doesn’t see me like that anyway.”
“Who’s Noelle?”
Susie took a moment to realise her slipup. She looked at Kris for help, but the human just smirked at her. The topic needed to change. Immediately.
“Hey! Since we’re in our Dark World fits, ya think we could bring Ralsei and Lancer here?”
The conversation continued from there, with Susie eagerly telling her hosts about the Dark World and her Darkner friends while Kris wandered aimlessly around the house and stopped to inspect random objects. Eventually, it became time to go, but as everyone stepped out of the house, something bit Susie’s leg!
“OW! THE HELL?!” Susie looked down to see a pile of moss in the corner of the doorframe.
Moss with teeth.
“Oh, Titan, not gnashmoss. It is such a PAIN to get rid of…” Eda groaned. She groaned again when she realised she’d have to do it one-handed now.
“Hey Kris!” Susie nudged Kris, “how ‘bout you help out the elderly?”
“Elderly?!” Before Eda could take any more offence, though, Kris knelt down in front of the gnashing, growling pile of greenery.
“Hey, be careful!” Luz and Amity tried to pry Kris away, but were stopped by Susie.
“Just watch.”
The moss growled and spat at Kris. Kris brushed the hair in their face aside and glared at the moss with intense, piercing red eyes. The moss whimpered in fear, and at the first sign of weakness Kris knelt down and shoveled the aggressive greenery into their mouth like a starving castaway having their first real meal in 5 years.
Then they got back up, wiped the leftover green bits off their mouth with a steel gauntlet, and returned to Susie’s side like nothing happened.
Everyone except Susie blinked.
“Finally, someone gets it!” King exalted with triumph.