Work Text:
When Sojiro woke up that morning, he was expecting another normal, slow day. He made his way over to LeBlanc, opened the café, started reading his newspaper and waited for the usual regulars to walk in. Like every day.
When Sojiro heard the bell ring, he turned around to greet the first customers of the day. A day he had just realised would not be normal.
“GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, KRIS! Where the FUCK are we?!”
The first new customer was normal enough. They looked like just a normal teenager, with brown floppy hair obscuring their eyes, a green shirt with a yellow stripe on it and brown trousers. Their skin looked almost yellow, but they were otherwise unremarkable and not what gave Sojiro pause.
It was the purple dinosaur person next to them that made Sojiro hesitate. The… creature was covered in purple scales and had a mane of browny-purplish hair covering most of its face, except for its large, protruding muzzle. A muzzle filled with yellow, razor sharp teeth. Aside from that, it was dressed in normal clothes, a purple jacket and blue jeans. An almost comical contrast to the creature itself.
The purple creature turned its head and noticed Sojiro.
“Oh, crap, is this a café? Smells nice in here. You run the joint?”
Sojiro gaped for a bit longer before he remembered that you’re supposed to answer when someone asks you a question, even if they’re a… dinosaur… person… thing.
“Yes, this is my café. Name’s Sojiro Sakura. Can… can I get you two anything?”
Sojiro wasn’t even sure if the dinosaur thing drank coffee, but he was worried that it would eat his face if he upset it. Fortunately for him, the bell in the café rang again and in stepped Haru. That’s right, today she was coming to help out again!
“Hello, Boss! I apologise for being late, it took me longer than I expected to pick the latest batch of coffee beans and to make sweets. Oh, we have customers already!”
Haru wasted no time setting down her bag and putting on her apron, regarding the two… peculiar guests like they were regulars.
“So, what can I get for you two?” Haru asked in a calm, chipper tone that one would not use to address a purple reptile person that (supposedly) shouldn’t exist.
“Oh, uuuuhhh, we didn’t really mean to… you have food here?”
“Yes, we serve curry.”
“Aw, sick! I’ll have that and uh, coffee I guess? How about you Kris?” The purple dinosaur nudged her friend-Kris, apparently-who glanced briefly towards their friend, then Haru, then Sojiro, then back to Haru.
“I’ll just have what she’s having.” Kris mumbled very quietly when they spoke, making them a bit difficult to understand. The stark opposite of their monstrous friend’s loud, barking voice.
Kris and their friend sat down on the stools in front of the counter as Haru started preparing some coffee.
“Boss, is it ok if I handle the coffee while you make the curry? I still can’t make it exactly like you do.”
Haru’s request snapped Sojiro out of whatever trance the morning’s events just put him in. He didn’t know if Haru didn’t realise the reptilian nature of one of their customers, or if she did and just didn’t care. Regardless, the man decided to follow Haru’s example and act like nothing was wrong. The sooner those drank their coffee and ate their curry, the sooner they would leave.
“So, uh… I never got your names.” Sojiro may not be the best conversationalist, but anything would be better than awkward silence as he tried to focus on cooking.
“Oh, right! Name’s Susie, and this is my friend Kris.”
Susie. A surprisingly normal name for such an abnormal creature. Technically not common in Japan, but still a perfectly normal, human name. Her accent was also decidedly Western sounding, or at least certainly not Japanese.
“So, you’re American then? Or at least from the West?”
“Uh, yeah…? Wait, what country is this?”
“…Japan.” Sojiro said with a raised eyebrow.
“WHAT?! KRIS, HOW DID WE END UP IN JAPAN?! Wait… this is awesome! I always wanted to go to Japan! I can be just like Godzilla now! HAW HAW HAW!”
Susie literally barked out a laugh. It sounded not quite like a dog, more like a demon pretending to be a dog. And failing.
“So, what brings you two to Japan?” Haru continued the conversation, much to Sojiro’s relief.
“Dunno. We just sorta… ended up here, literally no idea how! But I’m glad we ended up at a café at least. Didn’t eat anything yesterday and I’m starving.”
“You ate nothing at all?! Well, that simply won’t do. Would you like one of my sweets with your curry? My treat!”
“Breakfast and dessert?! Hell yeah!” Kris tapped Susie on the shoulder.
“We have a problem.”
“What?”
“Money.” That one word seemed to drain all the excitement from Susie as she patted down her pockets and only found a (surprisingly fancy) old hairbrush.
“I’m sorry kids, but I can’t exactly serve you if you don’t have money.” It’s not that Sojiro didn’t want to feed these two kids, but business had been tight recently and he already handed out enough freebies to Ren’s art friend.
“Hmm… in that case, I will pay on their behalf.” Haru declared, “I don’t think it’s right for them to wander around Japan lost and on empty stomachs.”
Susie looked at Haru like she was an angel.
“You really mean it lady? No catch or anything?”
“Nope! It isn’t right for children to go hungry.”
“Aw, sweet! Thanks!” Susie looked absolutely elated.
“Yeah, just don’t expect everyone to be so charitable.” Sojiro decided to add. He was starting to get a bit more comfortable around Susie now that he knew her name. It also helps that, despite her monstrous appearance, she behaved just like a rowdy young teen.
The café’s usual comfortable atmosphere returned as Sojiro and Haru got to work preparing Susie and Kris’ orders. Thanks to Haru making smalltalk, Sojiro found out that Susie is, in her own words, a monster, and she lives in a town full of monsters called Hometown, where Kris is seemingly the only human. When asked about their families, Susie and Kris both went quiet.
Until the food was served, that is.
“MMM, this grub tastes AWESOME! Whaddya think, Kris?” Kris answered Susie’s question with a thumbs up.
“Glad you like it.” Sojiro said with a chuckle. Susie and Kris may have been an unsettling duo together, but anyone who appreciated Sojiro’s curry was good in his book.
“Mm, I LOVE it!” Susie said between licking the plate. The plate that she then put in her mouth, chewed up and swallowed.
Two out of the three humans in LeBlanc stared at Susie.
“What?”
“Um, not to be rude, Susie, but… I don’t think you should eat plates?” Haru answered first.
“Oh, crap! Sorry, I liked it so much-I forgot it was your plate-shit…”
“I don’t think that’s what Haru meant, kid…”
“It’s alright, I’ll cover it!”
“No,” Susie interjected, “you already paid for the meal, let us repay the plate! We don't have money, but… maybe we can like, clean something?”
Sojiro considered Susie’s offer for a moment. True, she ate a plate, but it’s not like it was a huge loss. He also didn’t really have anything around LeBlanc that needed urgent cleaning at the moment, but from the look on Susie’s face, she was clearly set on paying Sojiro back somehow…
“Alright. I got something for ya.” Sojiro walked around the counter after asking Haru to clean the remaining plate and cups, and led the kids outside the café.
“There’s a patch of moss growing on the doorframe here.” Sojiro pointed to the small patch of green growing in the top left corner of the doorframe, “Clean that up, and I’ll consider the debt repaid.”
Kris perked up at this considerably, a glint of red shining from their obscured eyes for a second.
“Moss, eh? Well, we got the right human for the job! Just leave some for me, ok?”
Kris nodded as Susie picked them up and held them from the armpits like the beginning of a certain animated lion film. Kris then scraped the moss off the doorframe with their bare hands and started… eating it.
Kris started eating the moss.
“Boss, I’ve cleaned the- oh! I didn’t expect you to still be hungry!” As Haru giggled, Sojiro wished he could be as casual about this as her.
“Yeah, go, Kris, go! Was that al-aw, you ate all of it?!” Kris just shrugged, “Fine, but you gotta get me chalk to make up for it!”
Haru and Susie talked some more after that, but Sojiro wasn’t listening anymore. His brain was too busy processing the morning he just had. He zoned back in just in time to say goodbye, and he prayed to whatever deity was in the mood to listen that the rest of his day would be normal.
“Boss! I just had a flash of inspiration, and I require all the rice you have, 50 gallons of glue and 30 packets of pocky!”
“Oh, I just happen to have those last two things in my bag Yusuke! Allow me to help!”
God damn it…