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Fushiguro sat in his dorm, reading a book. His legs were splayed across his bed and his ankles were crossed. Despite starting the book yesterday, he was already on chapter 12.
It was peaceful. He liked the bustle that came with school and sorcery and training well enough, but more enjoyable were the moments he had to spend however he pleased.
Fushiguro lifted the next page, resting it between his index finger and thumb as his eyes made their way to the bottom of the page.
Just as he flipped the page over to the next chapter, his door shot open, and a raucous voice barrelled into his room.
"Fushiguro! Come quick!" Admittedly, Fushiguro found Itadori's enthusiastic attitude quite endearing. Slightly exhausting at times, but endearing all the same.
Fushiguro wedged a thin scrap of paper between the pages of his book and gently shut it. He placed it on the table beside his bed.
"What's up, Itadori?" he inquired, hopping off the mattress.
"Kugisaki and I are going to talk to Nanamin. You should come too, it's gonna be great!" There was a faint hint of mischief that was typically in his voice. As much as Fushiguro didn't want to be lumped in with the trouble they were likely about to cause, he couldn't help his curiosity at their plans.
Fushiguro slipped his shoes on. Itadori ran out the door, his pink hair blurring quickly out of view.
—
"Ok, here's what you're going to do." Itadori extended a folded sheet of paper towards Nanami as Kugisaki picked up from where Itadori left off. "You're going to read the words me and Itadori wrote on this paper."
Nanami hesitantly took the sheet out of Itadori's hands and started to unfold it.
"Wait!" Itadori and Kugisaki blurted simultaneously. Kugisaki clattered over to Nanami, flapping her hands wildly at the paper, even though he'd already folded it back up.
Itadori made a showy display of his relief: a long, loud sigh followed by swiping his hand across his forehead–the whole works. By the sheer dramatics of their reactions, Fushiguro surmised, you'd think they were dealing with something much more life-threatening than a piece of paper.
"I get the impression that you guys are trying to prank me." Nanami's voice was near expressionless, which seemed to make it that much funnier to Itadori and Kugisaki.
"Noooo..." Itadori drawled his remarkably non-convincing response. Fushiguro locked eyes with Kugisaki, who then glanced over to Itadori. The eye contact sent Itadori and Kugisaki doubling over in a fit of exaggerated giggles. Fushiguro wasn't quite in on what they planned, but he was starting to get an idea of what it was.
Clearly tired of the two, Nanami exhaled.
"Are we ready now?" His tone became ever so slightly stern, catching their attention. Itadori and Kugisaki scrambled for their water bottles, each taking deep sips. Itadori gestured a thumbs up to Nanami. Kugisaki tossed a bottle over to Fushiguro, which he opened and took a sip of.
Nanami unfolded the paper slowly, pausing to glance up as if the other two would cause a commotion like they did previously. That made Fushiguro choke back a laugh.
Starting to eye what was written on the paper, Nanami cleared his throat.
"Instructions: Read each word written below one at a time. Sounds like it's a fairly straightforward experiment."
Fushiguro now understood how they were able to rope Nanami into this. But seriously, they told him it was an experiment? Despite the ridiculousness of it, there was no way Fushiguro couldn't give them serious credit.
"Alright, I'll start now." Itadori's and Kugisaki's eyes were glued to Nanami as he continued.
"Ski... beady?" They all chuckled. Fushiguro would be lying if he said he didn't find this funny, too.
Nanami eyed them with obvious skepticism but continued anyway.
"Guy-att." He said it confidently, though struggling over the syllables. They all looked at each other, trying not to spit as they giggled.
Moving down the list, Nanami spoke again.
"Sigma." Delivered in his usual monotone voice, that was what got them. Water sprayed everywhere as Itadori and Kugisaki cackled joyously.
Through laughs, Itadori commented, "You said that one so normally. Just like you already knew it!"
"Yeah, I do know it." The earnest nature of Nanami's response silenced their laughs. Kugisaki looked thoroughly surprised.
"You do?" She pressed, clearly confused. All Nanami did was repeat himself.
"Yes. Sigma is the 18th letter of the Greek alphabet."
"Woah, Nanamin." Itadori's eyes were practically popping out of his head. "You never said you knew Greek!" He sounded so genuinely impressed that Fushiguro couldn't do anything but laugh.
"No, I–" Nanami pinched the bridge of his nose, the sheer lack of intelligence in the exclamation baffling him. "Let's just continue."
Nanami looked down at the page, eyeing the next word written.
"Rizzler. See, what does that even mean?" Itadori and Kugisaki said nothing. They just giggled, water dribbling quickly down their chins and pooling on the floor. Fushiguro giggled a bit, too.
Turning back to Nanami, Fushiguro quickly noted his teacher’s expression. With furrowed eyebrows, Nanami reminded, "You'd better clean up this mess once we've finished." Kugisaki and Itadori nodded vigorously. Fushiguro nodded as well, minus the enthusiasm.
As he sunk back into his chair, Nanami shook the page, straightening it out as if it were a newspaper. Fushiguro swore he heard Nanami mutter ...messier than Gojo, then huff emphatically.
Fushiguro spit out his water forcefully, a round laugh taking its place.
"I haven't even said anything yet," Nanami sighed, gesturing a resigned palm toward Fushiguro, who was still doubled over, wheezing.
Looking at the floor, Fushiguro wiped tears from the corners of his eyes as he spoke. "That guy is so messy!" he giggled, looking up at Nanami. Nanami's expression turned from confused to shocked.
"So you heard that, then." The corners of Nanami's mouth ticked upward in amusement. "I'm glad somebody gets it."
When Fushiguro came to his senses, he realized that Itadori and Kugisaki were just staring on at the scene he caused. They were like helpless onlookers—speechless, but intrigued nonetheless.
Feeling as though he should provide them with some reasoning, Fushiguro explained, "We were talking about Gojo." He replayed the conversation in his head. Air filtered through his teeth as the remnants of a laugh shook through him.
Fushiguro could tell that the other two still didn't know why that was so funny. It was understandable, though; three months around Gojo must not have been enough for them to get the full experience.
"Alright, are we ready to continue?" The evenness of Nanami's voice brought them back, and they each took swigs of their water before he began once more.
"Raise your yeah, yeah, yeah." There was no trace of the melody it was meant to have. Itadori chopped his hands through the air and shook his head.
Swallowing his water, Itadori wiped off his mouth. "Do that one again."
"Why? I just did it."
"Just"—Kugisaki interjected, finishing the thought—"Just sing it this time."
Glancing back to the words he’d just read, a look of betrayal flooded Nanami’s face. It was almost like he believed the paper doomed him to this. "No. No way, I am not singing."
Itadori and Kugisaki wailed—a sound of utter disappointment and defeat.
"Pleeeeeease?" Kugisaki begged, her fingers laced together tightly. It was surprising that she didn't drop to the floor as she urged Nanami to go along with the nonsense. But the begging alone seemed to be chipping away at Nanami's composure, however slowly.
"Absolutely not," he replied stoically, crossing his arms. Itadori and Kugisaki prepared to pull out the finishing move: puppy-dog eyes.
"Please, Nanamin!" Itadori whined. His face scrunched up, and he stuck out his bottom lip. Fushiguro looked over at Kugisaki. Tears rolled down her face and dusted her eyelashes, and she sniffled overtly.
Nanami shut his eyes and pulled his arms closer to his chest. When simply willing them to stop their barrage of pity didn’t work, Nanami sighed.
"Fine," he grumbled, opening his eyes. Itadori and Kugisaki didn't even attempt to hide their satisfaction. They danced around enthusiastically for a few seconds then high fived. Kugisaki jumped to reach Itadori's palm.
"If you want me to sing anything, you'd better calm yourselves," he instructed, shooting them a cold glance. Their eyes widened, and they shuffled obediently back to their seats.
Taking a deep breath, Nanami began singing. "Raise your yeah, yeah, y—“ the door burst open abruptly.
"Hey, guys! What are we up to in here?" The cheerful voice carried through the room, cutting Nanami off entirely. A mere second later, the white-haired sorcerer strolled through the doorway, waving a smoothie around as if to commemorate his entrance.
Nanami's lips were pressed together in a troubled line. He didn't even bother looking up to see who came in. Fushiguro couldn't blame him.
"Hi, Gojo," Nanami uttered. Gojo walked over to Nanami, patting him on the back so forcefully it was audible. As Nanami lurched forward, he sighed tiredly.
Itadori and Kugisaki looked ecstatic.
"Gojo-sensei! Guess what we're doing!" Itadori blurted excitedly, the mischief returning to his voice. Quickly waving Gojo over, Itadori and Kugisaki pulled him into an impromptu huddle.
They spoke in would-be hushed voices. Gojo tittered as they explained.
"Oh, I see." The grin spreading across Gojo's face could be heard in his voice as he continued, "Well, in that case, I'd like to volunteer for this experiment."
Nanami stood up, pushing the paper towards Gojo. "I'm out. Have fun." With his resignation, he started towards the door.
"Hm, nope." Gojo blocked his path with the smoothie. "That's not very alpha of you, Nanami."
Nanami backed up, puzzled by Gojo's diction.
"What on earth are you on about?"
Itadori and Kugisaki snickered. They clearly made the right choice by including Gojo.
"John Pork would be so disappointed," Gojo muttered, poking Nanami in time with his last two words. Swatting Gojo's hand away, Nanami exhaled sharply.
"I have no clue who John Pork is, so why should that affect me?" Nanami raised his voice very slightly, and Fushiguro could tell that Nanami's calm was on the verge of shattering.
Gojo simply snickered quietly, to which Nanami tossed an unimpressed scowl.
Under his breath, Gojo muttered, "I bet you're just jealous that I know John Pork and you don't."
With annoyance nearly palpable, Nanami growled, "Care to share with the class?"
Gojo blared back, grinning easily as he mocked Nanami. "I said I bet you're just jealous that I know John Pork and you don't!"
Despite his lack of understanding, the remark lit something in Nanami's eyes. "The hell—?" His fists balled up tightly, but he kept them firmly at his sides. "You're unbearable, Gojo," he spat.
"I may be unbearable, but I have more aura than you do, Mr. Mewing Streak." Gojo punctuated the remark by crossing his arms and shifting his weight over to his right leg.
Itadori pulled Fushiguro back into their cluster, and Fushiguro noticed Kugisaki had her hand plastered over her mouth. Itadori whispered, "Doesn't this feel like one of those stand-offs in old Western movies?"
Kugisaki punched Itadori's arm. "Shh!" she instructed jokingly. "Not all of us are movie geeks like you."
Itadori smiled. "Aw, you're telling me you haven't seen The Quick and the Dead? It's a classic!" Kugisaki shook her head and added, "Definitely not!" Fushiguro could sense a movie night would be in their future.
Nanami's voice suddenly cut through their quiet banter. "Mr. Mewing Streak? I'm not a cat, Gojo," he insisted pointedly.
"Yeah, I guess you're not a cat." Gojo's reply was laced with a tone that made Fushiguro apprehensive.
Nanami looked moderately satisfied with Gojo's sudden agreeance.
"You're clearly a glizzy goblin. My bad, Nanami!" All the satisfaction instantly drained from Nanami’s features. A bitter look replaced what little peace he had before.
Beside Fushiguro, Itadori and Kugisaki were trying their hardest to restrain their laughter. Conversely, Gojo made no effort to hold back the feral cackle that escaped him.
“Now you’re calling me a goblin?!” Nanami struggled to wrestle his tone into something less abrasive.
Gojo replied plainly, “Yeah, I mean—“ He gestured his hand up and down in Nanami’s direction. Gojo lifted an eyebrow, a smirk tugging the corners of his mouth upward.
“Excuse me!?“ Nanami gasped. Stuttering furiously, he continued. “I don’t know what you think you’re going to achieve here, but I won’t tolerate this.”
Gojo ignored Nanami. He simply slurped at the imaginary dregs of his smoothie, air echoing through the cup.
“Whatever, I’m leaving,” Nanami announced. “Don’t even think about stopping me, Gojo.”
With his final hissed words, Nanami stormed over to the door. He was muttering irately as he liberated himself from the room. Right before the door shut, Fushiguro heard something along the lines of I don’t get paid enough for this.
Gojo hesitated, watching the door dutifully. Once it was evident Nanami wasn't returning, he suddenly turned and squawked, "Did you guys see the massive vein popping out of his forehead?" He pointed at his own forehead as an example.
"There's no way we couldn't have seen it!" Kugisaki exclaimed, roaring with laughter as she spoke.
"How'd you know that would make Nanamin so mad?" Itadori wondered. Fushiguro was sure it would just feed Gojo's ego, which it did.
Puffing out his chest proudly, Gojo replied, "It was easy. I've been pushing Nanami's buttons for years. Since high school, even."
Fushiguro looked at Itadori, then at Kugisaki. Note to self, he reasoned, don't end up like Nanami.
"Anyways," Gojo started, "I've got some real businessy-business to attend to." He tossed his empty smoothie cup into the trashcan basketball-style and clapped his hands as it dropped in easily. Itadori and Kugisaki cheered for him, making the room sound more like a stadium.
Gojo bowed theatrically, then swaggered towards the door. Before he left, he commented, "If you guys see Nanami, make sure to tell him the higher-ups wanted to see him." With a smile, he ducked out of the room.
Itadori turned to Kugisaki, offering a fist bump. "Making Nanami read brainrot was the best idea you’ve ever had!" She balled up her fist and accepted Itadori's congratulations.
Grinning smugly, she replied, "Thanks! Now it's your turn to come up with something."
"I’ll do my best!” Itadori replied, pointing finger-guns at her as he backed toward the door.
Kugisaki strode over to the door as Itadori was walking out. She turned back to Fushiguro for a moment. “Well, I’m off to check out this new store. Everyone’s been raving about the clothes there!”
With a polite wave, she left the room. Now alone, Fushiguro figured he’d head back to his dorm. A bit more reading sounded restful compared to the antics he’d been thrown into. A part of him did wonder if the book would match the excitement he’d been exposed to.
Before stepping towards the door, Fushiguro surveyed the room. His shoulders fell when he realized that water was still puddled on the floor. Kugisaki and Itadori definitely owed him for this. Big time.
—
After less than a week, Fushiguro flipped over the final page of his novel. He sighed happily. 67 chapters went surprisingly fast.
Sliding out of bed, he stretched his arms and padded over to his bookshelf. Depositing the completed book between two others, he scanned to find his next read.
His eyes latched onto a book he'd read 4 times before. Tilting it out of its spot on the shelf, he ran his hand over the distressed cover and stuck his bookmark between it and the first page.
He stepped over to his bedside table, setting the book down and flipping the lamplight off. Fushiguro decided he was done reading for the moment, and wanted to see what everybody else was up to.
At the same time Fushiguro reached toward the door handle, it turned without warning. He jumped back promptly so he didn't get whacked.
Once Fushiguro found his footing, he looked up to see Itadori standing in his doorway.
"Woah. Sorry, Fushiguro!" Itadori blurted. "No worries," Fushiguro assured. "What's up?"
Itadori leaned against the doorframe, holding the door open with his heel. "We wanted to talk with Nanami again!" He grinned innocently.
"Another experiment?" Fushiguro teased; his question was somewhat genuine, though.
Dismissing the question, Itadori persisted. "If you're there, he won't know we're pranking him again!"
Fushiguro sighed. Using me as a decoy? He had a feeling he wouldn't have a say in the matter, so he kept it to himself.
"Come on, it'll be fun. Just like last time, huh?" Itadori pressed. Fushiguro stood there silently, weighing his options. He could make the excuse that he was going to read some more, but he already concluded that going out would be better.
Apparently, he took too long deciding, so Itadori chose for him. "Let's go! Nanami should be here soon." Grabbing Fushiguro by the wrist, Itadori pulled him out into the hallway.
Stumbling along behind Itadori, Fushiguro looked helplessly back to his door. There was no getting out of this now. Whatever they had planned, he just hoped that Nanami wouldn't be too mad this time.