Work Text:
I.
Fu Shen felt heavy, body weighing him down. All day he had been working, thinking heavy thoughts, and now his old aches and pains were plaguing him again, every old injury making itself felt. Outside it was bitterly cold, but inside was barely any better. Between the cold and the fatigue pressing down on his body, it was hard enough for him to keep his eyes open, let alone anything else.
Yan Xiaohan looked at him, visibly concerned. "Do you need your cloak?"
It would have been easy to say no, to shrug off his concern, but Fu Shen forced himself not to. It had been hard enough to get used to Yan Xiaohan's level of care in the first place; there was no point pushing it away for no good reason.
"You could bring me closer to the brazier." It was a concession and an acceptance, but also a kindness; Yan Xiaohan needed the comfort of being allowed to care for Fu Shen just as much as Fu Shen could use the care.
Yan Xiaohan put down what he was reading and stood, moving to push Fu Shen's chair closer immediately. Fu Shen put a hand on one of Yan Xiaohan's hands, feeling the warmth of his skin.
"Your fingers are too cold," Yan Xiaohan said.
Fu Shen laughed. "I'm cold all over."
But as they drew closer to the fire he felt himself warming up, thawing out little by little. No less tired, but pleasantly tired, comfortably in danger of dozing off. He kept his hand on Yan Xiaohan's hand, enjoying the feeling of having him close.
"You could just as easily take me to bed," Fu Shen said.
Yan Xiaohan didn't seem impressed by his heavy-lidded look.
"You won't stay awake for anything more exciting than this."
"Then let's sleep. I think you'll enjoy sleeping next to me just as much."
The look in Yan Xiaohan's eyes was soft. He leaned in for a kiss, and that was just as soft. The warm scent of him rose over the warmth of the fire, and Fu Shen breathed him in; the taste of him was just hot enough to keep Fu Shen awake for a little longer.
They made their way to the bed. Yan Xiaohan piled extra blankets on, carefully arranged so they would compensate for the poor circulation in Fu Shen's legs but not make them overheat anywhere else. Fu Shen knew they would wake up with the blankets in a disarray, equally weighted down by them, but that point was a long way off. Mornings were always comfortable enough, anyway, waking up with just enough time to mutter useless nothings and gaze at each other's faces before the day could commence.
"Do you hurt anywhere?" Yan Xiaohan asked, as they arranged their own bodies to fit around each other.
"Not too bad," Fu Shen said. "Nothing you can do anything about."
"Let me hold you close," Yan Xiaohan said, rubbing his hands up and down Fu Shen's arms, until all the tension melted out of them.
After a long day of holding himself up to meet everyone's standard, Fu Shen relaxed into Yan Xiaohan's embrace.
*
Fu Shen was warm and comfortable when he woke, head pillowed on Yan Xiaohan's chest and arms wrapped around his torso. He dragged his fingers up and down over Yan Xiaohan's clothes, across the soft bumps of his spine, and Yan Xiaohan made a noise that showed he was also awake and too comfortable to get up yet.
The kiss they shared then was no more wild than the night before, but it woke them up well, giving them both something warm and soft to carry in their hearts the rest of the day, no matter how cold and sharp their lives required them to be to everyone else.
II.
Yan Xiaohan was trembling, skin turning sickly pale. Fu Shen reached out a hand to check his pulse, then raised an eyebrow at what he found.
"At least we're home now. You don't have to hold back in telling me when the craving is upon you," Fu Shen said.
All Yan Xiaohan said was, "Jingyuan," voice trailing off into nothingness as the fever started to overcome him.
Fu Shen moved his hands over Yan Xiaohan's body in a rough caress, freeing him from his clothing with practised ease. In its own way, this was care-taking, giving to Yan Xiaohan's body what he needed so his mind could go back to being untroubled.
Yan Xiaohan pushed his head against Fu Shen's shoulder, taking comfort in his warmth and proximity.
"Menggui," Fu Shen whispered, voice rough, pulling him closer. Yan Xiaohan thrilled to hear him.
When his body remembered its craving for autumn night white, he became fire all over. Only Fu Shen could tame his flames and bring his body peace. They entwined their fingers and took care of each other, until the fire in his body died down.
*
Yan Xiaohan felt wrung out after, all that trembling and arching and yearning turning his body into soup. Fu Shen poured him into a hot bath and scrubbed at every bit of him.
Only when Fu Shen was in the water, too, washing off their exertions, did Yan Xiaohan feel he was fully awake again.
He got up to make tea, and returned ready to help Fu Shen out of the bath.
"Another night early to bed," Fu Shen said.
They sat side by side in their night clothes, drinking tea in peace. As time went on and their cups ran low, Yan Xiaohan tilted more and more toward Fu Shen, until they were leaning on each other, holding up each other's weight. Only when he was done with his tea did Yan Xiaohan finally put his cup down and put his arm around Fu Shen, cuddling close. In the beginning, Fu Shen had struggled against the idea of just holding each other like this, but over the course of their marriage Yan Xiaohan had worn him down; sometimes Fu Shen even chose to hold him first, indulging Yan Xiaohan's endless desire for non-sexual physical contact
"This is my favourite part," Yan Xiaohan said.
"The cuddling is your favourite part?" Fu Shen asked.
"It is," Yan Xiaohan said, cuddling closer. "I like how we hold each other."