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The alarm rings throughout the room. The sound bouncing off each wall as Kai opens his eyes with the sound ringing in his ear. It’s immediate how he shuts his eyes again, a low groan barely escaping his lips, as his hand pats around the bed trying to locate his phone.
Once said phone is in his grip, he squints with one eye pressing on the ‘stop’ button, the annoying ringing finally off and away from bursting his ear drums so early.
8:00 am
He closes his eyes again as he waits for his next alarm to ring in 15 minutes. He’ll get up with that alarm.
He turns to the side, the duvet covering half his face as he pulls it closer to his body, and simply lies there. It’s not like he can go back to sleep. The birds he heard chirping before shutting his eyes nearly 2 hours ago are still going strong. The sun is a tad bit brighter compared to when he was first falling asleep. But now it’s shining bright into his room.
The alarm barely goes off for a second that it gets shut off. Kai opens his eyes, wincing at how his eyes burn, crying for help.
It’s not surprising when he stands in front of the bathroom mirror, and bloodshot eyes are staring right back at him. He can’t remember when was the last time his sclera was actually white and not red.
The routine is the same as always: brushing his teeth, washing his face with cold water, applying eye drops to help alleviate some of the pain, and finishing getting ready for the day. It’s the same boring routine just like it’s the same amount of the hours of sleep he’s been getting.
Well today he got 3 hours of sleep, which isn’t bad considering last week he was surviving off of 2 hours of sleep each day. It’s the little things even if it all leads down to the same fate. Headaches .
The bloodshot eyes should’ve been the first sign. The second sign should’ve been the dull pain between his eyebrows. And finally, the headache that spreads from his temples to the back of his head as the day progresses. But he hasn’t even stepped out of his dorm and the headache has already made its way down to his neck.
It feels as if his body were moving in slow motion. Checking his bookbag for his medicine, tying his shoes at the front door, and even walking to the elevator. It all feels like he is moving so slow. As if he were trying to run away in a dream. He steps inside the elevator, closing his eyes to pretend he’s still getting some sleep in.
And that’s how he makes it to his first class. Walking slowly, eyes droopy, his body moving on its own, and his head somewhere else. It’s a miracle he makes it to school safe.
The chair scrapes against the floor as he sits down next to Taehyun. He narrows his eyes as much as he can, the light bothering him.
“Didn’t sleep?” Taehyun asks.
“No,” he yawns, “Only slept 2 hours.”
“Playing games with Beomgyu hyung?”
Kai places his pen on top of his notebook. “No. I just couldn’t sleep.”
Taehyun hums, “You should go to the doctor.”
Kai doesn’t bother responding. The professor is already making his way to the desk. He has already tried that. He’s been put on many low dose medications that don’t do much to him.
As the professor opens up his slideshow on the screen, Kai can tell it was going to be a long morning.
Kai is lying down on the couch. Face pressed against the cushion with his eyes closed. His body feels exhausted, limp on the couch, but even with his brain begging for sleep – he just can’t .
He is not even sure how long he has thrown on the couch, but he hears Beomgyu come in and make a slight stop when he gets to the living room.
“I’m not sleeping.” Kai tells him. It’s no use for him to be quiet when Kai isn’t sleeping.
“Barely slept?” Beomgyu asks as he sits on the couch.
Kai nods, “Barely got 2 hours.”
The headache that he has been having every day is again present. Eyelids heavy as he sits up on the couch. All he wants is at least one good night of sleep.
“Sounds rough,” Beomgyu responds. Typing on his phone before looking back at Kai. “You going to sleep?”
Kai shakes his head. He can lay there all day and he will not sleep until the birds start chirping again.
“Want to help me with a project?”
“Sure. What do you have to do?” They make their way to Beomgyu’s room. Kai throws himself on Beomgyu’s bed. While Beomgyu goes to sit on the desk chair.
“I’m writing a song for my class. I’m stuck on the instrumental part.”
“Mmh. What type of melody are you going for?” Kai asks as he plops down on the corner of Beomgyu’s bed.
“Something calming. The song is about love,” Beomgyu says as he looks everywhere but at Kai. His cheeks are a light dusted pink. Strange. But he doesn’t point it out. “I think a soft melody will go with it.”
“Planning on using your guitar?” Kai asks. His eyes follow Beomgyu’s every move. Noticing how his body is tense with the topic of his song. He wants to think it means something but quickly shuts that idea down. Taehyun has been putting too many ideas in his head.
“Yeah–I think. I’m not sure.” Beomgyu pulls out his guitar, plops down on his chair, and stares at Kai. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at him, and Kai — Kai slightly shifts in his seat. Nervousness creeps up on him as Beomgyu stares at him.
“I have an idea but I need a second opinion.” Beomgyu smiles softly at him and Kai’s heart skips a beat.
“Let’s hear it.”
The strums of the guitar were played. Each melody envelopes Kai in a hug. It was a soft, slow melody that made his eyes close, absorbing each and every single sound. Soon after the first couple of notes, Beomgyu starts humming. Kai feels his body get lighter with each hum, muffling a yawn as he fixes himself to lay down on Beomgyu’s bed. He thinks he could fall asleep. But the music comes to a stop and suddenly he’s wide awake again. Granted, a little groggy, but he still opens his eyes as Beomgyu watches him.
“I like it.” Kai says, this time not being able to cover his yawn.
“You should get some rest.”
Kai leaves to go to his room. He gets ready for bed at 4p.m, closes his eyes as soon as his head hits the pillow.
This is it. He’s probably going to sleep until tomorrow and catch up on all the rest he hasn’t been able to get.
Or so he thought.
It’s already midnight and has not slept even a wink. Even the tiredness from earlier has evaporated from his body. Spent all these hours laying down with eyes closed hoping that it’ll trick his brain into falling asleep. But clearly it didn’t work.
Stretching his limbs, he decides to go eat something, and just accept that this night is going to be the same as the others.
He gets himself a bowl, cooks ramen, and sits on the couch looking for something to watch. The volume is at the lowest where he can still understand because Beomgyu is probably already sleeping.
Kai slurps his noodles as he watches as a romance drama plays on the screen. He sets his bowl down once finished. Eyes on the television but his brain not processing anything that’s happening.
He’s exhausted.
Feels exhausted.
But his body just can’t rest.
It’s nights like these where his body is on earth but his head is somewhere else. Where he so desperately craves sleep. But his body doesn’t comply.
It’s nights like these that make his eyes sting, and not from the lack of sleep. His mouth dry, and a lump forms in his throat that makes it difficult to breathe.
“Kai?” Beomgyu’s sleepy voice pulls him out of his trance.
He quickly rubs his eyes pretending that they were itchy before turning to smile at Beomgyu. Who is standing by their dinner table, messy hair, and still a bit groggy from sleep.
“What’s wrong?” Beomgyu asks, worry filling his voice.
Kai sighs. He knew his hyung would be able to pick it up. Even if he tried pretending.
“Nothing. Just can’t sleep.”
Beomgyu plops down next to him. “Woke up from your nap?”
Kai shakes his head. If only that were true.
“Wasn’t able to sleep in the afternoon. Just stood up to eat some food and hopefully fall asleep soon.”
Beomgyu hums, staring right into his face, and it makes Kai hot in the face.
“Want to sleep with me?” Beomgyu offers.
“Huh?”
“Sleep in my bed. I know changing where you sleep can trick your brain into falling asleep or so I have heard. Want to give it a try?”
Kai should probably decline. It’s a nice suggestion but his heart is about to fall out of his chest with how hard it’s pounding against it. Sleeping next to Beomgyu, his crush, would probably be a disaster.
“Yes. Yeah, I think that can help.”
Beomgyu smiles at him and Kai feels his heart stop.
“Lets head to bed, Yeah?”
And that’s how Kai finds himself tucked inside Beomgyu bed with said boy next to him.
“Still working on your song?” Kai asks, staring at the papers that are scattered all over Beomgyu’s desk.
“Yeah, I’m almost finished with it though.”
“You have to let me hear once you’re done.”
Beomgyu smiles, “You’ll be the first person I show it to.”
Kai doesn’t even remember at what time he fell asleep. Just that the birds weren’t chirping just yet.
The next time Kai sleeps in Beomgyu’s bed is 2 weeks after the first night. His sleep goes back to being minimal. Nothing helped him. He wants to ask Beomgyu if he could crash on his bed but it’s a lot harder bringing it up than he thought it would.
It’s 1am. He’s been twisting and turning non-stop. Nothing making him sleepy. Not even the 10 hour rain sound videos that Taehyun sends him. With a disgruntled sigh, he makes his way to the kitchen.
To his surprise, Beomgyu is there, getting himself a cup of water.
“How come you’re still awake?” Kai asks. It’s unusual for Beomgyu to be up so late.
“I was finishing up my song.”
“You still have to let me hear it.” Kai jokes as he fetches himself a cup of water.
Beomgyu nods, staring at him. “Can’t sleep?”
Kai shakes his head. “Trying to.”
“Come sleep in my room?”
It’s a small question that has Kai on all 10 toes. He thought he would never hear those words again.
“Yeah.”
That’s how he finds himself on Beomgyu’s bed once again. His eyes closed shut trying to fall asleep.
“Want to hear a snippet of my song?” Beomgyu asks, turning to face him.
Kai looks at him once before his eyes automatically go downwards. It’s hard making eye contact with Beomgyu.
“ ‘Course I do.”
Kai turns his body completely to face Beomgyu as the other boy starts humming his song.
The first syllable comes out of his mouth followed by more and Kai just feels his body relax. He practically melts into the mattress as Beomgyu continues singing for him. His limbs feel loose and boneless as his body shuts down slowly.
From that day forward, Beomgyu and Kai slept together almost every night. What first started off as sleeping next to each other like mummies changed pretty quickly. Both of them cuddle each other now. Each night taking turns of who is the little spoon and the big spoon. Majority of the time it’s Kai as the little spoon just because he likes feeling small. (And because he likes Beomgyu’s arms wrapped around him.)
Kai wraps an arm around Beomgyu’s waist as the other pulls him closer to his chest.
“I saw this cafe that sells pretty good desserts. Let’s go on Saturday?” Beomgyu asks.
Kai is about to respond but Beomgyu speaks up again. “As a date.”
The words get stuck in his throat. Heart beating like crazy that he’s hundred percent sure Beomgyu can feel it with how close they are.
“Y-Yes, Yeah. I would love that, actually.” Kai smiles at him and Beomgyu gives him a small kiss on the forehead.
“I’ll sing the song I wrote for you then.”
Kai hums in response. Before it settles down on him that the song Beomgyu is referring to is the love song he has weeks working on.
“Wait what?”