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“Truth or dare, Mrs Hall, it’s your choice.” Siegfried hiccuped and leaned casually against the bar. It was a busy evening in the Drovers. The parlour was crowded and the air felt a bit sticky, as the smoke of pipes and cigarettes hoovered over their heads. The pleasant fire in her back spread a pleasant warmth across the room though and that was truly needed on this moist night in late November.
Helen had already gone home, because she had been tired after a long day at Heston, and Carmody decided to call it an early night because he had to cover the night calls, which only left the two of them. It wasn’t the first time they were together at the pub, but this time the atmosphere between them was strained, almost electric. It was a special night, and although they didn’t acknowledge it, neither of them was able to ignore it entirely.
“You know that’s not the kind of choice one should make when under the influence,” she suggested and felt how her face coloured. Hopefully the light coming from the candles was weak enough so he wouldn’t notice her rising embarrassment.
“I’m not under the influence,” he insisted braggadociously. “Are you?”
Her eyes narrowed over the rim of her mug. “Most certainly not,” she retorted, taking a sip from her cider.
“So, what’s the big deal? I know that Carmody suggested it; however he isn’t here now, but that shouldn’t keep us from trying.” His eyes were taunting her, because he knew how she hated being put on the spot. “I ask a question and you either answer honestly or you fulfil a task - any task - I ask you.”
“I know the rules,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “I just don’t think it’s proper.”
“It is proper,” he decided. “After all it’s your last evening in Darrowby before you hop off into the sunset with your suitor. I think it’s only fair that we part on…honest terms, don’t you think?”
What could she say? “Alright…” She cleared her throat. “But I start.”
“Ladies first,” he agreed graciously and made a silly little bow into her direction. He was really in a daring mood today. She highly suspected it was his way of dealing with her upcoming departure, something she secretly dreaded, but possibly for very different reasons.
“Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“What did you mean by your remark yesterday when you said, I would live to regret moving away?” Her eyes pierced him and she hoped her question would intimidate him.
“Eavesdropping much, weren’t you? That was a private conversation between Helen and me!” He said, gulping down the rest of his whisky.
“I heard it when I collected all the possessions you had scattered all around the living room. So, tell me the truth, what did you mean by that remark?”
“I think you’ll…” He blew his cheeks. “I think you will…don’t like it in the Lake District. The climate up there is atrocious.”
“You’re such a bad liar,” she informed him.
He shrugged, the expression on his face most innocent. “I mean it. It’s quite damp up there. My turn.”
She sighed. “Truth.”
“Are you really in love with him?”
“What kind of question is that?” She asked, aghast.
He gave her a side glance and suddenly he looked more sober than ever and his eyes were glittering. “The truth, Mrs Hall.”
“I feel…” She didn’t even know how to explain it. Love was such a complicated subject. “He cares for me.”
“Do you love him?” He repeated. No one had ever asked her that. Not even Gerald and that was the main reason she had never really thought about it. She liked him. She liked to have someone to kiss her every now and then. Someone who saw her as a woman, although he sometimes seemed unsure what to do with that knowledge.
“Love isn’t everything,” she finally said. “I loved Robert and look how it ended. My turn!”
It was obvious that her answer hadn’t satisfied him, but he didn’t object. “Truth.”
“I know for a fact that you never posted a job listing in the papers. Yet you told me you hired someone. Why did you lie to me?”
“I did hire someone from the village. She’s a nice lady. Tall, blond, in her prime as they say. Ada, if I remember her name correctly.”
“It doesn’t work like that. You can’t answer every question with a lie when the game’s called ‘Truth or dare’!” By now she was annoyed, and had no idea why she had agreed to play this silly game with him. She should really go home and get some sleep. The plan was to leave with the first train in the morning. She also still had to pack her things. The suitcase standing next to her bed was still empty, the closet full with her clothes.
“Your turn,” he said stubbornly and ordered another whisky for him and a cider for her. The coins ended on the polished bar before she could decline.
“Dare,” she said to his surprise. “Oh…” He chuckled and a boyish grin spread over his face. “Do me a favour and take that hat off and open your hair.”
“What?”
“You heard me…”
The man was going to be her downfall one day. She just knew it. Sheepishly, she looked around and found no one really cared for their presence. Everyone gathered in the pub seemed absorbed in their own business. “Alright…” Still a bit reluctant, she did as told. As she pulled out her hairpins and strand by strand of her brown hair fell over her shoulders, she wondered why he couldn’t have thought of anything else to ask her. “Satiesfied?” She asked, brushing her hair behind her ears.
“Just lovely,” he complimented her. “Well, now you’ve started it I will say…dare.”
For a moment she considered asking him to give up smoking, but then something that was weighing heavily on her, came to her mind. Plucking up some Dutch courage with a large sip from her cider, she said, “I want you to take me to the station tomorrow morning.”
He obviously hadn’t expected this and swallowed hard before he said, “But I already said, I’ve got a full list. Carmody will be perfectly happy to drive you.”
“But I want you. You owe me.”
He faced her and there was no smile playing around his lips or his brown eyes. “Why?” He asked darkly.
“Eight and half years,” she answered sadly. “That’s how long I’ve worked for you. A little trip to the station on me last day shouldn’t be too much of a request.”
“Three thousand and eighty-nine days,” he said deadpan.
“You counted the days,” she stated, astonished and without taking her eyes from him.
“Each and everyone of them. I had some time on my hands the other day.” He emptied his glass and pushed it over the counter. “Maggie…”
“That’s enough,” she told the barmaid, before she could give him a refill. Maggie withdrew discreetly much to Siegfried’s annoyance. “Dare,” Audrey said, before he could voice his complaint.
That he remained silent wasn’t a good sign and she feared that she might have overdone it. Tentatively, she closed the distance between them until the familiar scent of his cologne reached her nose. “Dare me…” she whispered. “I know you want to.”
“I wouldn’t want to shock you,” he replied in a low voice and added with a scoff, “And we happen to be in a public house. I wouldn’t want your fiancé to hear gossip about your…abnorm behaviour on your last night in town.” His voice was mocking her and she didn’t like being mocked. The tension in her body had reached a new high, and she didn’t know why she felt the need to shake him until he gave up on being so smug.
“Don’t you worry about me behaviour,” she said. “So, I dare you instead…”
“Feel free to do so…” He snatched her mug of cider and took a big gulp. “I want you to come home with me now.”
“That’s a bold statement. Home…” He had almost spat out the last word as if it were a contagious disease.
“I mean it,” she said and leaned in closely. “Let’s go home, Siegfried.” A strand of her hair was tickling his face and he shoved the mug into her hand. She drank the rest of it and linked arms with him. To her surprise he followed her along without resistance. The night was cold, fog was creeping over the Market Square that she knew like the back of her hand. With her hat in her free hand and his hand laying on the one that covered his arm, they strolled back towards Skeldale House. His footing was a bit unsteady, but she didn’t mind that his little swerves prolonged their walk.
She thought about the suitcase in her bedroom and the full wardrobe. She hadn’t even sorted out what she eventually didn’t want to take with her. Even now the concept of leaving Darrowby seemed still theoretical to her, like a distant idea that could never come to fruition simply because it was unthinkable.
There was no way she could hang up her pinny for one last time tomorrow morning, and be done with it all. It was impossible to think about a life where he wouldn’t breeze into her kitchen, calling her name because he couldn’t find his keys or complain about one of the clients.
How was she supposed to live a life that wasn’t entangled with his?
To take in the front of the house she called her home for one last time, she stopped, and he stopped with her. They stood so close that his hip and shoulder were touching her.
“Are you up for another dare?” He asked pensively.
With a wry smile on her face she turned to him. “Why ever not?” His face was only an inch away, as he reached up to play with a curl of her hair. With bated breath, he looked at her face, silently asking for permission.
“I blooming dare you,” she said, her lips now almost touching his. His hand came to rest on the small of her back. He pulled her close and she tasted the whisky on his lips, feeling electrified by the physical contact. His eyes were burning into hers and when she couldn’t stand the intensity of his gaze, she closed her eyes. She yielded and let her tongue swipe against his mouth, slowly exploring the outline of it. Her breath was ragged, her body shivering as she realised what she was doing and that his hands dug into her hair.
Somewhere in the distance a bird cried and someone laughed an intoxicated, mad laugh, but her focus was solely on him. As she melted against him, knowing she was breaking every rule in the book, her hat dropped to the ground. Her arms, both now free, wrapped around him. She had to steady herself as their kiss deepened and she got caught in a downright spiral of desire that was unmatched by everything she had experienced before.
As he finally let go of her, her knees were buckling beneath her, and she held onto him as if he were her life raft in the stormy sea.
“Are you sure you still need a lift?” He asked raspily, his forehead pressed against hers.
“I gave him my word,” she pointed out, her voice wavering. “He’s waiting for me.”
“We can tell him together,” he offered emotionally.
Resting her chin on his shoulder, she contemplated his offer. “I’ve got to tell him on me own.” Being sincere was the one thing she owed Gerald Hammond. “So, will you take me to the station tomorrow?”
She felt how he tensed up, already fearing she wouldn’t come back to him.
“I will,” he agreed after a moment. She smiled, relieved he found it in himself to trust her.
“And now take me home, Siegfried Farnon. I dare you.” She raised her head and kissed him longingly, praying she would never get used to the whirlwind of emotions his kiss aroused in her.
Later when he was lying next to her, naked and softly snoring, she studied his profile in the shine of the bedside lamp. The last three thousand eighty nine days she had catered for him, had created this home with him, and had fallen in love with him.
It was only now that she admitted to herself that these things hadn’t necessarily happened in that order.
For three thousand eighty eight days she had told herself that he wasn’t the man who could love her back. And now she knew better and she dared to hope for a future with him that would surpass everything they had shared so far. But up until this dream eventually would come true, she had to go to the Lakes to tell Gerald it was over between them. It was a daring task, but one that would change her life in the best of ways.
~~~~~A&S~~~~~
“Truth or dare.” Audrey handed Siegfried a glass that was filled with a two finger pour of his favourite whisky, and sank on the chair next to his. Earlier that day she had returned from her short trip to the Lakes. For the last thirty-six hours she had been a bundle of nerves, because she couldn’t wait to go back home. Ever since he had dropped her at Brawton station she had thought of nothing but him. As beautiful as the Lake District had turned out to be; how she could have contemplated moving there, would always be a mystery to her.
On her way back home, as the first snow of the year had passed her by, she had tried to imagine how their reunion would play out. It shouldn’t surprise her that the moment she had laid eyes on him had been nothing like she had imagined.
The inevitable truth that he was quite simply her destiny had taken her breath away, and she had done her very best to distract herself with cooking until they had a moment for themselves.
She could tell that his anxiety was still running high and neither the fabulous meal she had prepared nor her radiant smile could relax him. Now that she knew that he liked her hair open, she had only applied a couple of pins over her curls. Otherwise she allowed her natural curls to tumble over her shoulders.
“Truth,” he said, his jaws clenching.
“Did you miss me?”
He scoffed, “Terribly. Now you.”
“Truth.”
“How was it?”
She reached out and took his left hand. She led it to her lips and placed a tender on the back of it. “I told him the truth and I apologised for the…inconvenience I caused.” The use of the word that had formerly hurt him so badly, made him frown. She felt the tension in his fingers as they cramped around her hand.
“He said it didn’t matter. His world’s still intact you know. He’s got his job and his sister. Nothing will change for him, if I don’t move there.”
“What a fool,” Siegfried uttered. “What a blasted fool.”
“It’s your turn now,” she urged him.
“Truth.”
“Will you forgive me?” She asked. “For putting us through this?”
“And you’re calling me daft!” Was the only answer he gave to her. He emptied half of his glass and shoved it over to her. “Dare.”
“It’s my turn,” she reminded him and drank the whiskey anyway. It burned its way down her throat and opened her veins. Warmth filled her. Warmth and the feeling of being more secure than ever.
“Dare.”
“Marry me.”
She blinked once, twice, and gasped. “Siegfried…”
“No more delay, no more waiting. I won’t wait for the next beggar to sniff around my house just because they’re waiting for a chance with you!”
She laughed out loud, “In case you haven’t noticed, they aren’t exactly queuing to ask me out.”
“One of them is enough,” He replied and placed a long kiss on the back of her hand. “So, I dare you to marry me, Audrey Hall.” The tickling of his beard evoked memories of the night they had spent together. The sensual kisses he had spread all over her body, the tenderness with which he had reacquainted her with love making had changed her entire existence. She didn’t know whether he had an inkling that he had ruined her for every other man, and she wanted to keep that secret for a little while longer.
“I will, if you allow me to dare you one more time.”
“Dare me, pray!”
“Kiss me senseless like you did the other night.”
He seemed almost relieved by her request. “That I can do,” he promised and leaned in. His hand sneaked around her neck as he pulled her closer, and his finger gently massaged the spot where the rate of her rising pulse threatened to burst her vein. He kissed her long and thoroughly, determined to make her toes curl and she gasped for air. From a distance she heard the telephone ringing, but he didn’t stop, and she didn’t care that Helen would catch them in this intimate moment. When he finally released her, her head was spinning and she didn’t trust her legs to carry her.
“Can I dare you to join me upstairs?” He asked, playing with a curl of her hair.
“And you won’t think any less of me?” She asked, finally putting her biggest fear into words.
“From the day I met you, I put you on a pedestal so high that I feared I would never reach you,” he replied earnestly. “That will never change.”
“Gerald and I…we never…”
He closed the gap between them and silenced her with a soft kiss. “I don’t care,” he whispered. “You’re here now.”
“I’m all yours,” she assured him.
“And vice versa,” he mused and tipped with his thumb against her chin. “Ain’t that the truth.”