Chapter Text
Jackenstein is not a hard boss.
That's what Kris' soul was currently trying to tell themselves, at least. And, you know what, they'll admit it, they were lying to themselves, their shit was getting absolutely rocked. Hell, one time they literally died before the pumpkin showed up in one of the attacks. Like how.
Anyways, Kris was having a great time watching this happen from their spot outside the Battle Box. Soul couldn't see their expressions (ever, it was really annoying actually because apparently Kris was making expressions that others could see but not them), but they just knew that they were smirking their ass off behind that accursed emo-ass haircut. Little fuck, they also feel the pain whenever they get hit and still they manage to find their repeated deaths funny instead of annoying.
"YOUR LONG"
Jackenstein (or whatever little pumpkin homunculus he used to enact his evil bidding) suddenly screamed in Soul's face. And they became Long. Damn they really didn't even bother adding pixels they just stretched them huh-
Anyways.
They hated this battle.
"Have you tried going for the gaps you can fit through?"
And there they are. Their 'vessel'. What a scam, they wanted their 25 bucks back. Instead of a nice, obedient, monochrome character like they were promised, they had gotten this snarky, disobedient, coloured-in teenager who was way too old to be this edgy as a body. Wing Gaster had better count his fucking days from whatever space-time soup he was floating in.
But, you know what they say. Don't hate the dev, hate the little asshat of a still conscious body with a personality you got stuck with. Kris had spoken in their usual deadpan, mumbly voice they used whenever speaking to them and refused to use whenever they were told to speak to others cause they a lil' bi-
Anyways, Soul could just feel the poorly-hidden smug undertone in the syllables. They weren't even sure how they could hear when they were outside of Kris, they obviously didn't have ears as this little heart- whatever, that's unrelated. What is related is the raw, unfiltered rage that Soul felt at just the sound of Kris' voice.
"I'm trying, I can't see shit," Soul spat back, their words quickly turning into screams of agony as they got mauled by the pumpkin homunculus for the gazillionth time today. Wait how could they speak, they didn't have a mouth or vocal chords- WHATEVER, WHO CARES, PROBABLY TELEKINESIS OR SOMETHING.
"I can see fine, try harder," The nerve-
Whatever. What. Ever. They literally didn't even care. This was having no effect on them whatsoever. Deep breaths. Deeeeeeeep breaths.
Soul did actually make it out of that attack alive since it stopped before they could be murdered again. Maybe Jackenstein could be redeemed after all. They were removed from the Battle Box and placed back in Kris' body, not that it really mattered.
"Kris, eat an exec. buffet — why do we still have that? Whatever, just tell the others to defend," Safe to say, Soul was done with this shit. Kris followed their orders without comment for once in their miserable life, and they were shoved back into the middle of yet another maze. Yippee.
"Maybe don't die before the pumpkin gets here this time," Okay that was it. Soul was killing themselves repeatedly until the pain reminded Kris who was really in control.
Wait.
No that wouldn't work. Kris was obviously some kind of freaky-ass masochist, why else would they be happy with them dying all the time? The pain would just motivate them further. They'd have to get creative.
Then they got an idea. An awful idea. The Soul had a wonderful, awful idea. [Yes that was a fucking Grinch reference fight me]
"You know what? Good idea. Jackenstein's grubby little homunculus won't come here and find me dead. In fact, it's not gonna come here at all. Y'know why?" If Soul had a mouth in their heart form, they would be grinning from ear-to-ear, as Kris could no doubt hear in their voice. They were sure their reaction was priceless, not that they could see it, but the pause in speech was all they needed to know that Kris had felt a change in the air. The soul hadn't moved an inch in the maze.
"Because he's not based on time, Kris. He's based on triggers. If I just stay here, he'll never come. 'But won't the maze never finish then?', I hear you ask? Oh Kris, the pumpkin might not be based on time, but do you know what is?" Soul could practically taste the moment Kris realized what they were talking about. And boy was it a glorious moment.
"No..." Kris let out, mumbly voice finally gaining a tone, a scared one. Music to Soul's non-existent ears.
"That's right. The attack timer. In just over nine hours, this attack will end by itself. I am going to sit here for 9 hours straight until the attack ends. Then I'll do the same for each maze until all the attacks are just treasure rain," Soul would not be moving an inch for a very long time.
"The fuck?! Are you that salty I called you bad?" Kris practically shouted back at them. They were, in fact, that salty, but they wouldn't be telling Kris that. Not when they finally had the upper hand after so agonizingly long.
"No. But if you take it back I might consider playing the last maze~"
"No, you suck. Skill issue," Kris' response was instant. Soul added Toriel to the hitlist.