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Sakura looked at the empty room around her, she should have known this would happen. She should have taken every time Sasuke dismissed and scoffed at her as a warning not a game. Like an idiot she didn’t, she let herself believe he was with her for reasons other than guilt and a desire to not let the Uchiha’s die with him. Of course the second he got that child he ran off to the man he had been in love with since he was twelve years old. Sakura did not regret having Sadara though, she loved her daughter more than anything and would do it all again just to have her. Sakura always wanted to be a mother but she wanted to be a mother with somebody. She couldn’t raise a child on her own, she was already a goddamn doctor. She couldn’t be a single mother on top of it. That was two full time jobs. She just couldn’t do it on her own.
Though despite all this she just couldn’t bring herself to feel hatred towards Sasuke. She didn’t forgive him but she felt far too much sympathy for that little twelve year old boy to truly despise him. The boy realized he was in love despite the heavy hatred in his heart. A boy that needed to carry on his clan or else it would disappear forever. A boy who decided the only way out was to kill the boy that he loved. Sasuke loved too much for his own good, he loved like a raging forest fire. He just didn’t love Sakura like that.
The moment Sakura realized Sasuke didn’t love her was a very simple one. She was wearing a baby blue dress, Sakura never wore blue, she much preferred pink and red. Sasuke simply commented “I like that color on you, it makes your eyes look blue.” That was the moment Sakura realized that Sasuke would much rather be looking into someone else’s blue eyes than her own green ones. She continued to wear blue, even though she hated it, because maybe it would convince Sasuke to love her.
Sakura realized she did not love Sasuke either more recently. It was when he confessed to cheating on her, then demanded a divorce. Instead of anger, sadness, or even regret she felt relief, the kind that came when a heavy weight was lifted from your chest. When her brain finally started working again she did feel some sense of regret but it wasn’t the same kind as you would expect. Her regret came from forcing herself for so many years to be something she was not. That’s not to say it was a good thing that Sasuke left. Even his borrowed company was better than none. She had tried to bond with Hinata over their shared circumstances but she had been far too willing to forgive the men's betrayal. Hinata was always far more kind than her. After failing to connect with the one person she shared her shitty circumstances with, Sakura had convinced herself that she would spend the rest of her days alone.
Until an old friend showed up at her door.
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Sakura was just beginning to clean up from dinner when she heard a knock at her door. Sakura groaned to herself, if one more person gave her a pity meal she would throw it at them. The gesture had seemed kind at first but now it was just hollow. Done out of pity rather than care. She would hear them mutter under their breath when they left “that poor girl I can’t believe he would do that to her.” “Well the Uchiha’s have always had a twisted sense of love.”. Sakura did not need their pity, she was not a girl she had not been one for years. Sasuke did not need their judgment, not for his clan and for who he loved. The spiteful part of Sakura wanted to believe he deserved it, but the more level headed part knew that those parts of his character did not deserve the village gossip's disdainful tone. The knocking on her door became more impatient. Sakura began to drag her feet over to the door preparing her well worn dance of exaggerated thankfulness and indebtedness.
Instead of being met with the prying eyes of village gossips though, Sakura was met with a familiar pair of glassy blue eyes. Eyes lighter than even Naruto’s.
“Well guess we both lost Sasuke in the end, forehead.” Ino’s familiar crisp tone filled Sakura’s ears. Always direct and clear like she was sure in every word she said. Sakura had always admired that about Ino.
“It’s rude to kick someone while they’re down, Ino.” Sakura rolled her eyes at the familiar blonde. Sakura had always been envious of her long blonde hair, the way it always seemed to carry the sun in it.
“Just ironic isn’t it. I mean when we were kids the blonde haired blue eyed kid you were worried about stealing Sasuke was me.” Ino laughed. There was no pity in her words, no fake sweetness coating them, Sakura appreciated it.
“I mean it was all a bit overdramatic when I look back at it. But when you're twelve everything feels bigger than it actually is.” Sakura laughed. “But seriously, did you just come here just to make fun of me? I have a house to clean up.”
“No, actually I came here to help you. I mean you're a whole ass doctor. Taking care of this house alone couldn’t be easy.” Ino started walking into the doorway like she owned the place. “Besides, I'm going a bit crazy myself. Being head of a clan isn’t easy, I'll tell you that much. Family drama becomes a lot less fun when you have to solve it.”
“Well I guess you can help me clean the kitchen I guess if you really want to.” Sakura didn’t want pity but she would never deny help. Help she desperately needed. “Not really much to do but clean the counters.”
“I can help clean counters, especially ones Sasuke ate off of.” Ino bumped into Sakura playfully.
“Shut up.” Sakura couldn’t even be mad at her old friend though.
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“And I’m like Shikamaru, you can’t invite Temari to you, me and Choji’s group hangouts.” Ino slurred slightly. They had gotten very little work done. Ino caught one glance of Sakura’s expensive wine collection and insisted that one glass would make cleaning ‘much more enjoyable.’ That’s how they ended up wine drunk gossiping on top of Sakura’s expensive marble counters.
“ Why not, aren't they married?” Sakura pulled her head back, giggling.
“Because if Temari invited, she's gonna bring Gaara because Shikamaru can’t say no to her. Then they're gonna bring Kankuro because it’d be rude to leave him out.” Ino flared her arms dramatically before continuing “Then he’s gonna bring his stupid boyfriend. Then Kiba's gonna invite team eight and now it’s no longer an Ino-Shika-Cho hang out. See it just spirals.” Sakura will never admit how jealous she is of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio. Sure team seven loved each other but in an out of control raging way. A way that felt like it would consume them if they indulged in it for too long.There was hidden merit in a team that loved each other not through grand acts of sacrifice but simply going for coffee together every Sunday.
“Look if Shikamaru wants to have the rest of his life dictated by a hot scary lady all the power to him.” Sakura snorted. An ugly obnoxious snort, the kind she consciously trained herself not to do in front of Sasuke.
“That’s not what I meant, I love Temari and support her relationship with Shikamaru unconditionally. She just can’t come to our gossip and coffee Sundays.” Ino snickered before trailing off and looking around. Her eyes landed on a picture of Sadara. “How is she taking all of this?”
“Ok, I guess. She seemed to accept it pretty fast at least.” Sakura started. “I mean after we split he started spending more time with her. So I think Sadara might actually be happier.”
“I guess a better question would be: how are you doing? Are you holding up alright?” Ino’s tone softened. Her bright blue eyes curved slightly up into a half smile. I want to kick Sasuke until he cries and begs for forgiveness but besides that ya I’m fine.
“I mean I’m fine or at least I will be.” Sakura tried to calm her thoughts. “If this is what makes him happy then so be it.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“That thing you do. Y’know when you're thinking one thing but say something else to be nice, it’s annoying.” Ino inched closer.
“So I’m supposed to say everything I think? It’s called a brain to mouth filter, though I’m not surprised you’ve never heard of it.” Sakura didn’t back away from Ino though.
“No, just stop being something you're not. You’re not a polite shy soft spoken angel, and thank god for that. I wouldn’t be able to stand you if you were!” Ino threw out her arms for dramatic effect.
“Ya whatever you and no one else.” Sakura wasn’t stupid she knew she was annoying. She was annoying without all her self censorship; she doubted anyone would stand her without it.
“I’m never going to win this argument with you am I?” Ino shook her head. “Were you shocked when y’know he left you for Naruto. Because no offence but I feel like practically everyone besides Naruto and Sasuke themselves say that coming. Maybe not Hinata but you get my point.”
“I mean at first I didn’t even consider it as a possibility, but after a couple years of marriage I practically knew. I just liked to pretend I didn’t.” Sakura trailed off.
“Sasuke and Naruto truly weren’t going to end up with anyone else were they?” Ino tilted her head before sighing. “At least Konoha might stop being so conservative after they’re first queer Hokage.”
“First a female one, now a gay one? Truly this village is coming to ruin.” Sakura inched even closer to Ino.
“No but seriously it would have been nice for me to have any reference of queer people as a child.” Ino said softly.
“Why would it be nice for you ?”
“Oh shit wait did I not tell you.” The alcohol was not helping with Ino’s speaking ability. “Sakura, I'm a lesbian.” Oh oh. Wait wasn’t she-
“Weren’t you in love with Sasuke?”
“God you can be stupid.” Ino muttered.
“Hey, it's a valid question.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this.” Ino looked up, her blue eyes scrunched up in thought.
“Tell me what.” Sakura was already offended enough that Shikamaru probably knew about this before her. Another secret on top of that one?
“I never liked Sasuke.”
“Then why did you tell me you did! We ended our friendship for years over that.” Sakura practically yelled out. It seemed so stupid now the fact that she’d almost lost her closest friend to a man that would never truly want her.
“Because I was in love with you.” Ino blurted out. “I didn’t know what to do with my feelings, I had never met anyone like me. I thought if I just pretended I was jealous of you instead of him they would go away.” Sakura didn’t know what to say. No one had ever been in love with her before. Sure Naruto had been infatuated with her, but he didn’t know her. If you made any random person look exactly like her, he would have remained equally as enchanted. Same with Rock Lee. Nobody that knew Sakura stayed in love with her very long. Except for Ino apparently.
“When you met you were with the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. And you covered your face with these horrible bangs because other people said you were ugly.” Ino took a breath before continuing. “And then I got to know you and discovered under all that shyness and insecurity you were secretly a brash over confident evil little freak. And you cover that up too because you're still afraid people will find you ugly. Well fuck other people Sakura.”
“Pretty bold words for a woman that called me an ‘evil little freak’ just a second ago.”
“You know as well as I do that I meant that as a compliment, Sakura.” Ino was even closer than Sakura had initially thought. They’re legs were practically flush together. Sakura looked into Ino's eyes. Sakura had always thought Ino was the most beautiful person she had ever met. Her hair shined like white gold in the sun and her eyes always looked like they had been constructed from gemstones. Sakura had always brushed those thoughts off as jealousy. Every blush and lip glance she wrote off as normal. Sakura had spent so much time chasing after Sasuke, so much time convincing herself she loved him she never once actually asked herself what she actually wanted. She did not want love that hurt and consumed, she wanted love that was steady. Calm like the ground beneath her. Sure sometimes it may shake and sometimes destroy but it never would completely erase things the way fire did. Sakura felt like she was standing face to face with the most obvious decision in the universe.
“So was all that time you spent obsessing over Sasuke just to make me jealous?” Sakura leaned forward until she could feel Ino’s breath on her face.
“No, it started out that way.” Ino didn’t back away. “But it turned into a fun way to torment him. He really hated being fan girled after. Consider it my revenge.”
“And you say I’m fake.” Sakura muttered before leaning into a kiss. It was soft and comforting. Everything kissing Sasuke was not. Sakura looked up at Ino when they finally split.
“Did I ever tell you how pretty your eyes are?” Ino whispered cupping her face “They always look so green when you wear red or pink. Like they hold the Earth itself.”