Archive of Our Own

Aotsuki was kidnapped.

Inside this crooked house devoid of light, he sprawled on the floor with his limbs frozen. Not by fear or anger, but by a syringe sticking into his arm. He managed to crawl a few more centimeters before the signals were cut off and his legs still, as if no longer part of his body. He would curse, but he did not know where to direct the curse towards. Himself for being ignorant?

Or the boy in front of him, for bringing him here?

“Takumi-kun…” He whispered. His mouth, thankfully, still retained its autonomy.

Takumi walked slowly towards him with a medical kit on one hand and a scalpel on the other. In the darkness, the blade gave off an ominous glint that shouldn’t have existed. He seized Aotsuki’s ankle the moment the body stopped moving.

“It won’t hurt for long.”

As the blade sunk into his Achilles tendon, Aotsuki had to wonder how things came to this.

Despite what others may think, Aotsuki’s life was quite normal. He excelled in academics, did fine in sports, and was always the one tasked with reading the speeches at school ceremonies. He didn’t live the popular life for too long. Aotsuki was hypersensitive to the world. Sounds impacted his thoughts way more easily, and smells were horrible to deal with. He maintained an affable personality but also made his little discomfort clear. As a result, his school life was quiet, surrounded by many classmates but without any friends who were willing to cross the difficult barrier. His parents were nonchalant with his life. Less that they didn’t care, and more that they had confidence he would turn out well.

Aotsuki lived through his first 16 years of life just like that, peaceful, calm, smart enough to know what would happen, but not ambitious enough to change the world.

Sometimes he had a glimpse of something else. A hallucination, or a flashback from a life he didn’t know. A life much more exciting and filled with bloodshed. But like trying to hold water in the palm of your hands, those memories faded away as soon as they appear. He always dismissed those memories as déjà vu – something not worth thinking about.

The year Aotsuki turned 17, the status quo was upturned.

In the second year of high school, all students were randomly assigned to a new classroom. On the first day of the year, Aotsuki arrived early. They would have a day for gathering and briefing about the new teacher before the ceremony began, and the seat you chose then would mark your place for the rest of the year. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that choosing the right seat might impact on your whole school life: who you would be friends with, whether the teacher might call on you more, who was willing to let you copy their answers, etc. Small things that were an essential package for a normal student.

Aotsuki wasn’t worried about whose company he would make or whose homework he wanted to copy from, so he arrived early for a spot that would let him be conspicuous. Somewhere in the teacher’s blind spot.

As soon as he made himself comfortable in this foreign classroom, the door opened and welcomed another student. It was barely past 6:30, so it was a surprise that anyone other than him would arrive. Aotsuki watched the figure with some intrigue. The boy had bright crimson hair and vibrant blue eyes. Those eyes looked so saturated, Aotsuki thought he was more cat than human. Soon he had no time to entertain that thought, because when the boy caught sight of him, those eyes opened wide.

He stood frozen at the door with his eyes trained on Aotsuki. Minutes passed, and the silence turned oppressive the more the boy stared at him. Aotsuki decided to break the tension by giving a little wave. The crimson-haired boy shook out of his trance and, instead of finding his own seat, marched straight towards where Aotsuki was sitting.

He stopped beside Aotsuki, his eyes still opened wide and trembling. Aotsuki felt his brows furrowed. He was sure that they had never met, but the way this stranger was staring at him said otherwise.

“Are you in class 11-A?” He asked, if only to stop the air from getting more tense.

“…Y-yeah, I am.” The boy stammered, suddenly aware of the question.

“You’re at the right room then. I’m also in class 11-A this year, so do take care of me.” Aotsuki smiled, trying to ease the bundle of nervousness in front of him. “I don’t think we have met. Aotsuki Eito.”

He raised his hand, waiting. Those blue eyes stopped training at his face and moved to his hand instead. Aotsuki could vaguely hear the words “met” and “forgot”, but the boy soon regained a somewhat normal composure.

“Sumino Takumi.” His hand was answered by a firm grasp. “Nice to meet you.”

There was something muttered at the end of that sentence, but even with his sensitivity, Aotsuki couldn’t catch it.

“Pleasure to meet you, Takumi-kun.”

At the mention of the name, his hand was grasped even tighter. For some reason, Takumi didn’t let go of his hand until the door opened again. The noise from other students broke the tension, and for the first time, Takumi smiled.

“Same here, Aotsuki.”

Without hesitation, Takumi sat in the seat right next to him.

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For unknown reasons, Takumi kept staying by Aotsuki’s side from then on.

Aotsuki was puzzled to no end by this development. It had been him trying to make friends with others then decided it wasn’t worth the effort, never the opposite. Takumi studied with him during breaks, was his partner at gym, and tagged along whenever lunchtime hit. He was like a shadow following Aotsuki around, bringing with him a sense of nostalgia that shouldn’t exist.

Aotsuki didn’t understand at all. Like a kid, he first lashed out. He told Takumi of his hypersensitivity and waved him away. Then he started picking and criticizing Takumi’s flaws. Takumi never seemed to care. He only nodded his head and agreed, then changed his attitude slightly the day later. It was as if he was already used to Aotsuki’s attitude, despite being a stranger.

Eventually, Aotsuki let it slide. Takumi lingering near him felt like a natural thing. It was bothersome at times, especially when Takumi knew things that Aotsuki didn’t remember telling.

“You can have the sandwich if you want.”

“Here, the horror novel you’re waiting for. I got it early from an acquaintance.”

“Wanna go hiking this weekend? I know this path that not a lot of people know.”

Whenever he tried to probe an answer out of Takumi, the boy would be dismissive. “I just make a guess.” or “You already told me so.” That was always the answer. It didn’t take a genius to know that Takumi was lying. Aotsuki had called his parents to ask if there was a Sumino Takumi in his past, but they sounded just as confused as he was. The presence that slowly grew on him was shrouded in mystery.

Aotsuki was curious, but he was content with the current relationship. He would never admit it, but having a taste of companionship was like tasting the nectar of heaven - so hard to forget. The time they spent together overwhelmed the time he spent on his own, and sometimes Aotsuki would get grumpy when Takumi was taken away for other businesses than him. He wasn’t sure if this was a proper distance between friends, but Takumi never seemed to mind. He even looked happy when Aotsuki got pouty.

Takumi did not look like a cryptic type, but his actions were. He would sometimes ask Aotsuki vague questions out of nowhere, like alluding to a truth outside of his grasp. Aotsuki could never quite catch the meaning behind them, and Takumi would wave the question away, with his eyes dropped and his mouth unable to contain a sigh.

The day when the world changed was a normal Thursday for everyone else. Aotsuki was waiting at the school gate, hands fiddling with his phone. The search bar was full of terms yielding no answers. “Futurum”, “LDA”, “SDU”, etc. They were all words Takumi mentioned in passing, the words that carried with them a hopeful glance or a disappointed sigh. Aotsuki had no recollection of any of these words, and the internet agreed with him. He closed his phone with a sigh. It had been half a year since they met. Whether that was long enough to start asking about a person’s deep, dark secret, he wasn’t sure, but Aotsuki had decided. He was going to ask about Takumi’s secret, about what the boy seemed to be hinting to him to no avail.

The moment he decided so, the world changed.

Like a glitch in a matrix, or a bug inside a screen, his surroundings were distorted. Scratches and statics ring in his mind, penetrating through the ears and reaching inside the brain. Aotsuki clutched his ears as the scenery bled out into ruins and rubbles. A devastating sight imprinted onto his normal world.

A thing was approaching him at terrifying speed. Riddled with holes and oozed with rotten flesh, the terrifying mass of meat towered over him, suffocating the air and beckoning him to death. Overwhelmed, Aotsuki ran away. As far away as possible from the abnormal sight, from the terror of the unknown.

The tainted world regressed back to normal as he reached the train station. Aotsuki leaned onto the wall for support while his heart tried to settle down. Just a second before, his world turned into a nightmare. Yet now time has moved on like nothing ever happened. The electrical hum replaced the screeching, faint disinfectant replaced the rotting stench, and passengers walked pass him as their normal, mundane self. Only the light of the dusk dying the platform red reminded him of what had just occurred. An unfamiliar dream that he was pulled into.

Yet for some reason, he felt like he had seen it before.

The ringing from his phone pulled Aotsuki back to reality. The message from Takumi shone brightly on the screen. In his daze, he had forgotten about the boy.

Where are you, Aotsuki? I have been looking all over.

Sorry. I had something urgent.

Are you home yet?

No, not yet.

Can you come here then? I have something to tell you.

Attached to the message was Takumi’s location. Pushing back his thoughts on the weird phenomenon that just happened, he started walking towards where Takumi was. It was faster than the two of them trying to reach each other at the same time anyway.

In hindsight, the hints were screaming at Aotsuki’s face from the start. From how the location was in a secluded part of the town, or how calm Takumi was with his message, or how normally, it would be Takumi to run to his side instead.

In his subconscious, Aotsuki conveniently ignored all the clues. Until the moment his head was hit, he didn’t turn his back at all. Like how despite the disgusting the brief world was shown to him, what was born inside Aotsuki wasn’t fear, but curiosity. A lingering nostalgia for memories that didn’t exist.

Perhaps he was hoping for something that shook the foundation of his boring, mundane life.

“Ugh…kugh…”

The blade stabbed into his heel without hesitation. Takumi moved the scalpel with the precision and delicacy so far removed from his image. Aotsuki tried to look away from the blood spilling from the wound. Anything to distract him from the pain. Only now did he have a close look at the place he had been brought to. A house that looked like it belonged to the Showa era, with slide doors separating the dim rooms and cold, wooden floor. Aside from the rooms for minimal daily use, everywhere else was covered with a thin layer of dust, coating the musty air even more. The light bulbs in the hallway flickered and died every now and then – a sign of neglect from the owners of the house.

Owners, that was the assumption he got from how huge the house was compared to the ones he saw in magazines, but the dead silence told other stories. In this moment, the only owner of the house was trying to kill him.

“Does it hurt?”

Takumi’s voice softly brought him back to reality. The boy stopped the scalpel for a few precious seconds, and Aotsuki was allowed for a few moments to process the pain.

“…What…a weird thing to ask… when you’re the one trying… to kill me, isn’t it, Takumi-kun?” He forced his words out in between his gulps for air.

“I’m not trying to kill you.” Takumi frowned. His face twisted in surprising anger that Aotsuki didn’t expect. “But you normally don’t feel much pain at all, right? I can’t tell how you are feeling by sight alone.”

“Hah… I don’t remember telling you that.”

“Of course you don’t.” Takumi’s eyes narrowed. His previous anger softened to a sorrowful gaze unmatched with his actions at all. “Just tell me.”

Aotsuki gritted his teeth and tried to keep his breath even.

“…It hurts. That’s why anesthesia exists, Takumi-kun. Do try to use them next time if you want to be ethical.”

“Uh huh. So it hurts less for you than a normal person then.” Takumi chuckled. The surgery continued as he moved the scalpel once more. “You never change.”

“Huh…?”
Whatever reaction he had for that unsettling line disappeared as pain flooded his senses.

At some point during this slow, torturous operation, Aotsuki blacked out. When he felt the cold touch of the wooden floor on his cheek again, Takumi had finished patching up his wounds. The bloody mess had been wiped away, and all the evidence left from the heinous act was the pristine bandage on his feet. His legs felt weak and numb, a separate kind of still from the drugs being injected in his vine earlier. Aotsuki wasn’t a medical expert, but he knew the basics. If not treated properly, these legs of his would become useless.

Takumi patted his ankles as if waiting for a reaction. When he received nothing, he put his hands under Aotsuki’s back and knees and lifted him up. The boy wobbled around unstably at first, but he soon moved without trouble. Under that lean body hid a strength inconceivable to his figure.

Aotsuki let himself be carried away. Warmth slowly came back to his lungs; if he wanted to, he could scream right now. In the end, he decided against it. Throughout the surgery, there was almost no sound from the street outside saved for some occasional click clack of wooden heels. The area they were in was probably sparsely populated, possibly one of the old parts on the outskirts of the town: screaming would have done him no good. Moreover, he had no idea how Takumi would react. He didn’t know if the smiling boy in front of him was still stable. The fact that Aotsuki had to ask himself so spoke more about him than anything.

“Thanks.”

“For what?” Aotsuki looked up at the boy’s face. Now more than ever, he couldn’t tell what Takumi was thinking.

“For not resisting.”

The creak of the door signaled their destination. Takumi put him on the bed and tucked him in.

Aotsuki felt the fatigue sipped in as soon as he settled on the bed. There was another sting on his arm – Takumi had injected him with another unknown liquid. Sleep induced his brain as Aotsuki willed himself to stay awake.

“Have some rest first, Aotsuki.”

“…Why?”

Why did Takumi bring him here? Why did his attitude change so fast? Why was he being so gentle right after ripping flesh out of skin?

Before slipping into a slumber, questions drowned Aotsuki’s mind.

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It was a bizarre situation they were in. Almost like a laughable sitcom. If not for the bindings on his feet, in his dazed state, Aotsuki would have thought that he was back at the hospital in his childhood.

He wasn’t sure of the exact number, but a few days must have passed since the day he was brought here. The pain from his ankles had subsided somewhat, and no more syringes was administered. Aotsuki was most worried about that, but it seems Takumi was knowledgeable enough, or just kind enough, to not overdose him with drugs.

Takumi stopped going to school as well; he took care of Aotsuki’s everything. He put Aotsuki in a wheelchair with his arms bound tight to the armrest, so his first plan of getting out was thrown out of the window for the time being. Takumi noticed his gaze as he fixed Aotsuki’s arms to the chair. “I’m not making it easy for you.” The boy didn’t voice the thought, but he could tell a hint of satisfaction from his face. Like a newfound joy at seeing Aotsuki struggling.

The food Takumi made was clumsy, and the way he carried Aotsuki around to clean him was even more so. Yet the way he treated Aotsuki was always delicate. It was a balance of dissonance, like an amateur actor acting out scenes he had drilled in his mind: familiar acts that his body remembered doing but with no one to practice with.

The faded family picture in the obscure corner of the living room told him some of his speculations were right.

Takumi did everything he could to make Aotsuki’s life more comfortable, or as comfortable a literal wheelchair bound life could be. And what did he ask for exchange? More confusions from Aotsuki.

“Do you recognize them?”

The paintings laid out in front of him were a wide variety of people. Heights, clothing, personalities, none of them indicated a connection in a single group. If there was one similarity, it was that Aotsuki recognized none of them.

“Did you draw these?” Aotsuki asked, if only to buy some time for him to think about why Takumi wanted him to look at these people. A dark thought whispered in his mind that these could be the boy’s other victims, but he almost laughed at himself for thinking so. If Takumi was a thorough serial killer, he wouldn’t allow Aotsuki a wheelchair – something that could help him move around.

“The photo-realistic paintings? No way. Best I can do are stick figures.” Takumi laughed. “I asked an acquaintance for these. Tried my best to describe them, too, but it’s hard without any references.” He held up the small painting of a purple-haired boy. “Look at this. It doesn’t look even close to Ima. Not like I have any better way to describe him other than young pretty boy though.”

Takumi laughed. That laugh was meant to be shared, but it only deepened the frown in Aotsuki’s mind. Like a ritual, Takumi had been talking like this for the past few days. About people he didn’t know, things he didn’t remember doing, memories that belonged to no one but Takumi. He would regard them as nonsense, but the details and sequence of events matched together. Either Takumi was a skilled storyteller, or the boy was telling the truth. A truth that Aotsuki wasn’t aware of. A ‘him’ that he didn’t remember.

“I wonder what they are doing now.” Takumi swept the paintings to the side. “The only one I have seen in this life is…was Omokage.”

Aotsuki noted the past tense and the intriguing use of words.

“What happened?”

“…He died.” Takumi’s face was buried in his knees. “Gone in an accident.”

He looked up at Aotsuki, eyes dotted with tears.

“Just like the last time I saw you.” Takumi muttered. “I was so close; I could have done something, but by the time I acted, it was too late.”

The boy staggered to his feet and walked towards the wheelchair. He slammed his body against Aotsuki, making the chair groan under the weight of two. His hands held tight on Aotsuki’s arms, as if afraid that the binding was not enough. Aotsuki looked up at those glistening eyes, and tears dropped down his own cheeks.

“You won’t believe me, but it’s alright. I’ll try at whatever cost to help you remember. So, please. Aotsuki. Forgive me.”

The pain from his ankle flared up, reminding him of the sin committed by this pitiful figure.

“I’ll take responsibility. I won’t reject you or let you be on your own again, so please.”

The figure towered over him collapsed as Takumi clung to his shoulder.

“Don’t die somewhere I don’t know.”

Aotsuki couldn’t react. He couldn’t afford to. His hands weren’t allowed to pat those trembling shoulders. His eyes couldn’t track the tears flow down like a river. He could say something, but Takumi wasn’t talking to him: he was talking to another Aotsuki Eito, one that existed only in memory.

Whether that was him or not, Aotsuki hated that.

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Takumi wasn’t the cleverest guy in the world, Aotsuki had known that for a long time. He didn’t hate that about the boy; in fact, it was helping him. Blinded by the desire to make Aotsuki remember, Takumi never suspected what he did. Like how the rope binding on the wheelchair was getting loose, or the fact that cutting off the tendons didn’t make Aotsuki completely disabled.

Takumi wasn’t home. Devoted to one cause as he was, the boy still retained enough common sense to realize that both of them being absent at the same time would raise suspicion. In Aotsuki’s estimation, he had been out of school for around two weeks. His parents weren’t home, and they were quite the lackadaisical pair. It might take another two weeks for them to realize that Aotsuki had been ignoring them for too long. The TV in the house was never on, and the outside of the house was always quiet. Aotsuki’s disappearance hadn’t made any stir in this peaceful pond of a town.

Takumi had put him back into the bed and locked the door tight. Aotsuki waited until the footsteps faded away completely before trying to get up. The rope tying him to the bed was knotted tight. He reached under a hidden corner between the bed and the windowsill. There lay a piece of glass, taken from when he deliberately knocked over some utensils.

The position was awkward. His hands were in two different directions, so he could only use one to try and cut off the binding. The piece of class cut into his hand more than it did to the rope. It took an agonizingly long time until his left hand was finally free from the bed frame. He made quick work of his other arm. The hardest part had yet to come.

The moment his two feet touched the ground, Aotsuki fell unceremoniously. Weeks bound to the wheelchair had made his legs much weaker, while pain flared up with each small movement. Aotsuki gritted his teeth as he moved his body up. Slowly. First, his upper body using his arms. Then the knees. One leg. Two legs. He counted each body part until they responded to him individually. Holding on to the wall, he slowly lifted himself up until his feet were firmly planted on the ground. It wasn’t an ideal situation. The damage to the tendon was permanent; his walking was unstable and misaligned, but he could worry about it later.

He yanked the hairpin clipped to his side bangs and twisted until one side gave away. Small blessings. Takumi was serious when he said he would take responsibility for Aotsuki. The boy didn’t deny any requests that he thought was harmless, including this useless pin that had no place on Aotsuki’s hair.

He twisted the pin inside the lock. It was an old door, although not as ancient as the house. The lock itself was harder to break, but it wasn’t impossible. Aotsuki took his time until he heard a ‘clank’, and the door gave way.

“Ah. Isn’t this great.”

Aotsuki groaned. The stairs greeted him with its faint musty smell. There was a reason why Takumi made his room on the second floor, despite the hassle of lifting Aotsuki there every night.

“Maybe I did underestimate you, Takumi-kun.”

The first step was horrible. The moment he moved his foot down, his sense of balance was thrown off immediately. Aotsuki had to hold on to the railing as pain shoot up his legs. He hadn’t anticipated how bad a half-paralyzed pair of legs would weigh him down. To his defense, it wasn’t an everyday type of experience, either.

One step. Two steps. He was taking too long. If he had to worry about being thrown off balance with every single flight of stairs, the sun would descend in no time. Aotsuki looked down the distance he was yet to cover.

From this height down, he probably would not die. Probably.

“Guess we’ll have to see and find out.”

With a sigh, he let go of the railings and let gravity do its job.

In a brief moment, Aotsuki was suspended in midair. For a few milliseconds, he was free from the dead weight and the pain. What came next was a loud crash, and more spots of pain decorated his torso, legs and back. He was glad that the arms managed to absorb most of the pain away from the head. Internal bleeding probably wasn’t part of Takumi’s medical knowledge.

With as much, if not more, trouble than before, he lifted himself up again. Half walking and half dragging, Aotsuki managed to get to the kitchen where the back door was. This door was older than most. If he couldn’t unlock it, then he could try bashing it down.

As expected, the door was locked. Aotsuki grabbed the hair pin once more, but his fatigue betrayed him. The pin slipped from his grip and fell to the floor.

“Damn it.”

He tried to lower himself down to pick it up, but the moment he dared to move, his vision flooded red.

The nightmare was back once more.

It had come and gone in the past two weeks. The more Takumi tried to get him to remember with his vague stories, the more Aotsuki’s eyes were perverted. The light spilled from the window turned harsh, and the smell in the kitchen tinted with the sour smell of spoilt milk.

“Go away…”

His world was changing rapidly. Sounds so far away hammered into his eardrums. There was a screech. There was static. There was a bug screaming its head off inside his brain.

There was a monster looking at him from the hallway.

“Go away!”

“Aotsuki?”

That monster talked. That monster was talking to him in a trembling voice. That monster was flickering back and forth between a hideous, disgusting mound of flesh and Sumino Takumi.

“What are you doing?”

Takumi sprinted to Aotsuki’s side. The gap of strength was compensated by the difference in health; Takumi easily wrenched his hands away from the door and pinned him down the floor.

“Why are you running away?”

Takumi’s voice was trembling. His eyes bore inside Aotsuki’s own.

“I told you I will take care of everything. I just need you to wait until everything comes back for you. Why are you running away?!”

Takumi was looking at him, but those eyes weren’t seeing Aotsuki. They were searching for someone else, and even if it was another ‘him’, Aotsuki hated that gaze.

“Why?” Aotsuki gritted his teeth. “To get away from you and find the truth, that’s why, stupid Takumi-kun.”

Takumi’s eyes went wide. For a second, relief seemed to flood those blue oceans. Aotsuki wouldn’t allow that. He wouldn’t allow Takumi to look at anyone but him right now.

“What do you expect from me, Takumi-kun? You want me to remember just those vague memories you spoon-feed me? Fine, I remember. We had a past life together. We were friends, comrades. You and I were separated by circumstances. Is that enough for you? Is that the “Aotsuki Eito” you want back? A goodie-two-shoes who listened to your every words?”

The more he talked, the more Takumi’s eyes darkened. It was the boy’s turn to grit his teeth. The grip he had on Aotsuki’s hands tightened.

“You said you want to help me remember, but you’re hiding an awful lot from me, Takumi-kun. Why did I get separated from you? Why did I die without you knowing?” Aotsuki sneered. “Did you abandon me to my death?”

“I didn’t!” Takumi screamed. His voice was hoarse and strained. “I didn’t want to! It was you who was being stubborn and march to your own death. I couldn’t do anything!”

Takumi was crying again. Sobs mixed in with his voice as he hovered above Aotsuki.

“What did you even know? You don’t remember anything! I didn’t have the same freedom as you. If you had just stayed in your place, I would have been able to stop you. I could have saved you. But you just had to leave! To some place I’m not allowed to follow!”

The figure looming over him started to distort. The more Takumi confessed, the more Aotsuki could not distinguish the boy in front of him from the fleshy monster in his nightmare. Like memories pouring back into a glass, he subconsciously teared his eyes away.

“Monster…” Aotsuki muttered.

Something snapped then. Maybe it was the end of his tolerance. Maybe it was the end of Takumi’s sanity.

The boy swung his hand down, and one of his eyes was blind.

“Why…?” Takumi pulled the knife out. Blood stained the tip where it just stabbed Aotsuki’s left eye sclera. “You didn’t have the disorder in this world. Why would you call me that?”

He pushed the knife deeper into the eyeball until the nerves were severed.

“No… I don’t want that.” Takumi wasn’t talking to him. He was talking to no one. “If you have those eyes back, you will betray me again. You will leave me again.”

The knife moved frantically inside the socket. The sharp tip carved into the mushy meat until it reached the optic nerve, then severed it completely.

“No…no no no no no no no.” The knife finished its arc. “I can’t have that. I won’t let you do it again. I’m so tired of seeing you leaving me!”

With a pop, the eyeball was severed from the flesh and rolled down the cold hard floor.

Blood spilled from the empty socket like a small river. The pain was screaming inside his head, but more than anything, Aotsuki felt a sense of euphoria. The nightmare has receded, leaving behind a broken Sumino Takumi. His bright blue eyes were finally looking at Aotsuki.

Unable to contain himself, Aotsuki laughed out loud. The peculiar sound echoed around the house, until it bounded back to the kitchen and reached the beautiful boy straddling him. Hearing that laugh, Takumi snapped out of his daze.

“Aotsuki…?” He was confused, utterly out of his mind. Perhaps Aotsuki was mad alongside him as well, but between them, who was the crazy one?

“Why are you…” Takumi looked down his hands and finally realized the sin he had committed. He dropped the knife as his whole body shook.

“Are you okay?” Takumi frantically checked the empty hole that once contained an eye. “Blood…I’ll stop the blood. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Hearing the panic in his voice, Aotsuki only laughed harder.

“Ah, look at you, Takumi-kun.” He touched his cheek; the left side of his face was drenched in blood. “You really exceed my expectations.”

Takumi was staring at him in shock. Those hands suspended in midair, unable to move before the bewildering sight where the victim was laughing at the perpetrator.

“Look at how shock you are.” His bloodied hand touched the boy’s cheek, staining it crimson. “You didn’t do this to the other “Aotsuki”, did you?”

Takumi didn’t retreat from his touch, merely looking at him as confusion enveloped his complexion.

“Finally.” Aotsuki caressed his cheek like a predator finally capturing his prey. “You finally look at me.”

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“Hey, Takumi-kun?”

Only silence answered him.

“Hey, I know you can hear me, Takumi-kun.”

Inside the now familiar bedroom, Aotsuki sat on the bed with his back against the window. Takumi had been ignoring him for a whole day. Right after bandaging his eye, the boy shut him off inside the bedroom once more.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Aotsuki raised his voice as loud as possible, so that even on the first floor, Takumi had to hear him. He turned towards the old window and smashed his left hand against the rotten frame. After three strikes, the nails tore into his skin and opened a gaping wound. After five strikes, footsteps rammed on the stairs. After seven strikes, the door crashed open.

“What are you doing?”

Takumi stared at his bloodied hand in disbelief. He strode towards Aotsuki, reaching for the injured hands. The moment he entered arm’s length, Aotsuki pulled the boy down with his healthy hand and put his palm onto his torso.

“W-what? Huh? What the heck are you – “Takumi stammered, his face dusted with a layer of pink.

“Stop your pervert thought, Takumi-kun.” Aotsuki smirked. He lifted up his shirt to reveal the purple bruises left behind from his failed escape. “Didn’t you say you will take care of me? Are you going back on your words and letting me suffer all these injuries?”

“You did that all to yourself.” Takumi hissed, but he stopped as his eyes trailed towards the fresh bandage covering Aotsuki’s left eye. Guilt colored his face as Takumi sighed.

“No, you’re right. Sorry.” The boy got hold of his bloodied hand and pressed the wound down. “I’m sorry.”

He carried Aotsuki down the living room and laid him on the sofa. The medical kits were already opened, like he was debating whether to approach Aotsuki or not. But who knew how long Takumi would spend mulling his mistake? Sacrificing a hand for attention wasn’t a bad trade for Aotsuki.

“Does it hurt?” Takumi asked as he wiped the blood away.

“Not really.” Aotsuki replied nonchalantly. “Not as much as what you did yesterday.”

Takumi winced at the reminder. The boy redirected his focus onto the gauze and bandage, and for a while, an awkward silence hung over them.

“So.” Aotsuki broke the oppressive atmosphere. “Are you ready to tell me everything now?”

“I don’t know.” Takumi refused to look at him. “I don’t know if that’s the best way.”

“If you’re waiting for my memories to come back organically, the isn’t it a little ineffective? It has been two weeks.” Aotsuki moved his injured hand away from Takumi’s grip and tilted the boy’s face until they were eye-to-eye. “Why don’t you just tell me the whole thing?”

Takumi yanked his face away.

“…I’m scared.”

“Hmm?”

“If I tell you everything, how much will the memory actually return? The you now know nothing about what we had, but the old you…” Takumi’s voice trailed off. “I’m scared. That if you know everything, you will run away.”

“Well, I can’t do that right now, see?” He gestured to the swollen ankle. The wound on his feet reopened after the fall yesterday.

“…At least your dark sense of humor never changed.”

“And if you keep me from the truth, I’ll keep trying to run away. Worse, I can hurt myself even more.” Aotsuki pointed at his normal eye. “Should I trade my other eye for your truth?”

Takumi paused, then he started laughing. His complexion brightened up significantly.

“…Fine. I guess this is my way to apologize.”

Takumi started telling his story. About their last life. Getting to Last Defense Academy. The planet Futurum. How they had to defend the school. The truth about humanity. Their origin as manmade soldiers. The amount of information was overwhelming. By the time Takumi was seemingly done, he had finished bandaging up Aotsuki’s hand, torso, and a new layer of bandage over the ankle. The sun had started to go down.

“That’s a lot of things you expect me to remember, Takumi-kun.”

“That’s why I didn’t want to dump them all on you at once.” Takumi shrugged. “When it comes to you, I never know how you will react.”

Takumi rose shifted his position and leaned on Aotsuki. His hand caressed the bandages on Aotsuki’s face.

“Maybe this is better.” He pressed down onto the bandage, where a hole was hidden beneath. “Maybe if I blind you completely, you won’t ever think of me as a monster again.”

The words were deranged, dangerous even. Aotsuki’s only eye darted to the side of the living room, where a new jar was placed on one of the shelves. Filled with ominous liquid, his left eye was preserved inside, cleanly taken care of.

“I don’t really believe you, you know.”

Takumi frowned.

“You used to believe me so easily.”

“Oh?”

“When I time traveled back to stop you. You believe my story immediately.” Takumi pouted. The rare childish expression was surprisingly cute, so detached from his other behaviors so far. “And now you won’t believe me?”

“I didn’t mean that.” Aotsuki smirked. He grabbed the hand caressing his eyes and held it tight. “I don’t believe that you have told me the whole truth.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Stop beating around the bush, Takumi-kun. What happened to me after I learned the truth about our origin?”

Takumi’s expression turned icy.

“That’s why you cut off my heel, no? To keep me here so that I ‘won’t die somewhere you can’t reach’. Did you let me leave, Takumi-kun? Left me on my own?”

Takumi yanked his body away from Aotsuki.

“I’ll buy us something to eat.” The boy muttered under his breath. He was clearly troubled. Aotsuki didn’t quite remember what Takumi was yelling at him yesterday; having an eye gouged out took precedent in his memories. What he was sure remained unchanged however: Takumi was still keeping something from him, something he couldn’t bear to reveal.

 As Aotsuki pondered with doubt, the sound of the door opened reached his ears once more. He almost called out for Takumi before realizing something. This footstep sounded differently from how Takumi usually walked.

As if to confirm his suspicion, the head that popped out of the door did not belong to the crimson-haired boy.

“Huh, Aotsuki? What are you doing here?”

Trouble had decided to give them a visit. The one talking to Aotsuki was his class president, who he hadn’t seen in weeks.

“Dude, where were you? Why did you skip school for so long? The teacher was fuming at your absent; at least send a sick notice or something. You dragged our points down a lot, you know?”

The president rambled on and on about Aotsuki’s absent; clearly one self-absorbed enough to not notice the concerning details. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, common sense still won over.

“Wait, why are you at Sumino’s house? What’s up with that bandage?” His eyes scanned the room and stopped at the jar. “Holy crap! Is… that’s…what happened?! What did Sumino do?”

Amidst the panic, the kid didn’t realize another set of footsteps entering the house.

“Say, class president, can you help me?” Aotsuki put on his innocent face. “I, I have been trapped in here for so long. I can’t move my legs. Please, you have to get me out of here.”

In the corner of his eyes, Aotsuki saw the shadow slithering silently into the living room.

“R-right!” Foolishly and kindly, the president moved to help Aotsuki in a hurry. His eyes never doubted in the slightest. As soon as his hand reached where Aotsuki was lying, the shadow crept up from behind and brought a bat down his head. The impact made a huge sound, but the kid was yet to fall. Aotsuki got hold of his head and slammed it down the table twice for good measure. By the time the head was slammed down a second time, the body went still.

Takumi was staring at him with a whirlpool of emotions in his eyes.

“Takumi-kun, don’t just stand there. We have to get rid of him.”

Takumi didn’t move immediately. He kept staring at Aotsuki, as if not believing his eyes.

“You just – “

“I distracted him. Are you going to doubt me now after what I just done?” Aotsuki raised his eyebrows. “We don’t want any suspicion around here, do we?”

Takumi snapped out of his deep thought and nodded.

“You know what to do with him?”

“Disposal.” Takumi answered. “Cutting him into pieces would make him easier to move.”

“Thank god. If you suggest we bury him, I would have hit you.” Aotsuki sighed in relief. “The garbage disposal area is poorly maintained. You can put him there for a while.”

“The one on the other side of Yojinbo.”

“That. Don’t get caught. I can’t do any of your legwork.” He waved his hands.

“Stop with your dark joke. I won’t get caught.” Takumi smiled. “I did learn from the best.”

The boy carried the body out of the living room, so that Aotsuki didn’t have to endure the smell of blood.

“Wait here, Aotsuki.”

“Where would I even run to?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Takumi didn’t return until the sky had gone dark completely. He brought home a bunch of convenience store food, like a normal student after a hardworking day at cram school. They ate their dinner in peaceful silence. The smell of blood barely clung to Takumi; he must have done his best to wash them all away.

“You might still want to get rid of those clothes, Takumi-kun. I don’t want his blood on me.”

“I’ll do it later. You are surprisingly cheerful, you know that?”

“Am I? I think I’m the same as normal. Wouldn’t you say that I’m back to my cheerful self after someone finally decide to communicate with me?”

“If I know you would turn annoying so quickly, I would have knocked you out.”

“Aw, won’t you miss me then?” Aotsuki tilted his head. “You do like me, right?”

“…Shut it.” Takumi turned away, but not before he could hide his burning ears. “Don’t start being so straightforward. Man, I miss when you were afraid of me.”

Laughter rang throughout the living room. For a moment, they could pretend to be a simple, innocent couple without any baggage dragging them down.

“You’re staying here tonight?”

Takumi didn’t leave the room like normal. Instead, the boy brought back with him another set of pillows and blanket. From the first day he was kidnapped until now, this was the first time Takumi wanted to sleep in the same room as him.

“What’s the occasion?”

“A punishment for my kidnappee for being so difficult.” Takumi grumbled. “Scoot over.”

“How long did you spend thinking up that flimsy excuse? Besides, I can barely move my legs, Takumi-kun.”

“Fine, suit yourself.”

Takumi threw himself over and landed on Aotsuki with a loud ‘thud’. The boy lay on top of him, using his chest as a pillow.

“Ow, ow, ow. You do remember about my bruises, no?”

“And you do remember that I know your habits better than yourself? Stop lying, it didn’t hurt that much.”

Aotsuki resigned himself with an exaggerated sigh and just let Takumi lay there. He stroked a stray strand of hair behind Takumi’s ear. It felt as if he was petting a stray cat.

They lay there in the dark for quite some time. As always, it was Aotsuki who broke the silence.

“Are you that determined about not telling me the whole truth?”

“…”

“But you want me to remember, so I’ll figure out sooner or later.”

“…”

“What’s the point of keeping secrets then?”

“…If there was a chance you won’t remember that part, then I’m willing to bet on it.”

“Is it that important?”

“Maybe it wasn’t for you, but it was for me.” Takumi gripped his shirt tight. “That was the decision I regret the most.”

“…”

“If you remember, you might end up hating me. Hate how useless I was. How easily complied I was.”

Takumi supported himself with his elbows. Only in this way could he see Aotsuki’s eye in this position.

“I’ll do anything to help you get your memories back. That I promise. Just, please.”

He dropped a faint kiss on the hollow eye.

“Don’t make me remember our last moment.”

Takumi fell asleep right on top of him, and Aotsuki didn’t have the heart to move the boy.

He felt his vision flickered, as if the nightmare was creeping around his blind spot, waiting to snatch Takumi away and replace him with a fleshy monster. Aotsuki closed his eyes and blinked. The glitch dissolved, but its residue remained.

There was something prickling in his brain. Like a faint knock on the door to his mind, asking for permission to enter. If he opened that door, the memories locked away would come back. All those moments Takumi was desperate for them to share.

But he also didn’t have to. The thought of having to share Takumi with a past version of himself made his eye twitch. Did he need all those memories for Takumi to look at him and him alone? Was he only worth those memories and not the time they already spent together.

In the end, there were no right or wrong answers. Only the mechanical whirring of a distant hum telling him to choose his destiny.

ED XX1: Reunited

Aotsuki opened the door.

In an instant, his mind was swallowed inside a sea of images. Memories of the past that no longer exist enveloped all his sense. His 17 years living in the TRC, his 100 days fighting, hating, and loving by Takumi’s side, and his last moment.

Dying alone in the middle of nowhere, hoping for a chance of redemption, of someone to come and find him.

Takumi was right. He did abandon Aotsuki. Anger shot through his heart in a flash, but the calm tides turned them into foam. It was still Aotsuki’s decision to leave, that alone was his pride.

Besides, the boy had found him here, across time and space.

As much as the memories told him to, he couldn’t completely hate Sumino Takumi.

“Aotsuki…?” Takumi stirred, as if he sensed something was amiss.

“Say, Takumi-kun.” Aotsuki draped his arms around Takumi’s back. “If I try to leave tomorrow, will you come and find me?”

In just a second, fear strike through Takumi’s heart. He bolted upright, but Aotsuki’s arms locked him in place. The boy looked at him as panic colored his face.

“Answer me first, Takumi-kun.”

Takumi had to take his time to calm down, but Aotsuki had more than enough to spare. What else did he have when he was trapped in here?

“I will.” Takumi finally answered. “I will chase you down. If I have to break your legs again, blind you, I will bring you back.”

“…That’s it.” Aotsuki patted the boy’s cheek. “That’s what I want to hear.”

“You remember?”

“Who knows?” Aotsuki shrugged. “Am I different or the same ‘Aotsuki Eito’ that you know? Find out yourself, Takumi-kun.”

“Your whole life, if you have to.”

ED XX2: Forever bound

Aotsuki left the door shut.

What was the point of regaining his memories? The past belonged to the past. The present him had no need for what was already said and done. The Takumi he held in his hand was here, not some hallucination of days gone by. Why did he have to be a substitute for a memory?

If Takumi couldn’t accept him as himself alone, then what was the point?

The next day, someone knocked onto the door.

Aotsuki was in his wheelchair while Takumi checked on who’s knocking. The boy’s face turned pale as he noticed who was outside.

“Police.” He muttered. “Why are they here?”

Takumi’s eyes landed on Aotsuki.

“You…”

“Hmm? What’s wrong?”

“Did you call them?”

“How could I? Are you sure you didn’t leave some clues that lead them to you?” Aotsuki smirked. “Like an ID? A notebook? Something belonged to him that you ought not to have?”

Takumi furiously pushed him into the kitchen. He yanked on Aotsuki’s collar in a fit of anger.

“You said I could trust you. Why?!”

“I only said that you shouldn’t doubt me then.” Aotsuki replied. “Not ever.”

Takumi slammed his back to the chair. Stars dotted his vision, but Aotsuki couldn’t help but smile.

“What to do, Takumi-kun? Never mind what they know, if they see me like this here, you will be arrested sooner or later. It’s about time my parents file for my disappearance.”

Takumi’s eyes were frantically moving. He was thinking, but Aotsuki would not allow him to think about anything else but him.

“Sad, isn’t it? If you got arrested, chances are I would never see you again. They might put me in protection program and take me away far from here.”

“…No…they can’t.”

“How are you going to stop them? It’s your fault for being so trusting of ‘Aotsuki’, Takumi-kun. Someone that you never truly know.”

“Shut up!”

Aotsuki felt pain in his chest. The familiar knife was plunged into his heart, twisted and turned until blood dyed the hands holding them red, until both of them were drenched in the same color.

“If they want to take you too…” Takumi pushed the knife in deeper. A connection stronger than any memory could hold. “I won’t let them.”

He plunged the knife again and again, until red bloomed a bloody mess. With an anguish yell and a last plunge, the knife finally found its target. Aotsuki felt blood rushing to his throat. With his last strength, he pulled Takumi into an embrace.

“Remember this feeling, Takumi-kun.” He whispered. “This moment, it is between the two of us. Not for any past or future version. Just you and me.”

The last sight he saw was Takumi’s beautiful face. The last thing he felt was Takumi’s arms holding on to him. The last thing he tasted was a salty drop of tears.

He wasn’t in a hurry. No matter where he ended up at, Takumi would follow him anyway.