Chapter Text
It’s a cold and dry December Sunday evening. Thanksgiving has passed and Mask City is focusing on preparing for Christmas. The buildings are being decorated, and Christmas shopping is at an all-time high. The Christmas spirit is all around, making everyone merry. But for one group, there attention is towards a person’s personal problems.
M.A.S.C. is holding a meeting at Cluedle-Doo's coop. They make themselves comfortable on the large chairs and face each other. They wonder why they’re having this meeting.
“Welcome to our first monthly meeting,” Cluedle-Doo begins to speak. “We’ll have this meeting every first Sunday evening to discuss any injustice to masks or maybe catch up on our lives if no such injustice has occurred. Before I share my story of injustice, I want to hear from you first.”
“Cluedle-Doo, I have a request to make,” Lion confesses. She looks down nervously at her twiddling hands. “I need help divorcing my ex-husband.” M.A.S.C. murmurs among themselves.
“Is he your ex-husband if you never divorced him?” Elephant questions.
“I guess we never officially ended the marriage,” Lion mutters. “I just ran away without even saying goodbye. How would the divorce even work when my husband doesn’t know what happened to the real me?”
“You gather up as much evidence as you can,” Deer suggests, taking a break to sip his coffee. “Once you believe that you have enough, you can take your husband to court.”
Lion sighs, “It'll be next to impossible! I don’t know what my husband did with my stuff. I wouldn’t be surprised if he threw it all away.”
“Sounds like you need a detective to help you get your stuff back,” Cluedle-Doo smirks.
“Thank you for the offer, Cluedle-Doo,” Lion puts her hand on Cluedle-Doo’s shoulder.
“It’s the least I could do,” Cluedle-Doo says. “After all, I've had my fair share of divorce.”
“Really?” Lion asks. “I assume it was painful for you.”
“It was,” Cluedle-Doo looks down at his tea, the painful memories coming back to him. “14 years ago, I married White Hen. The first 6 years were bliss, but the last two years were awful. White Hen accused me of cheating, which I would never do. Sometime later, I caught her cheating on me with another rooster, so her accusations were just her projecting her infidelity onto me.”
“And what followed must have been a messy divorce,” Lion guesses.
“Where I was able to keep everything and leave White Hen with nothing,” Cluedle-Doo looks at Lion. “A year later, I met and married a widowed Red Hen who is more faithful to me. I’m happier than I’ve ever been with Red Hen.”
“I’m glad that everything worked out for you,” Lion giggles. “I want everything to work out for me. I want to officially divorce my husband so I can get together with another mask I met a while ago. In fact, he was the one who suggested I should talk to you.”
“I guess he isn’t aware of M.A.S.C.’s existence,” Deer suggests. “Let’s make sure it stays that way unless circumstances change.”
“I don’t feel good about keeping secrets from my soon-to-be lover,” Lion muses. “I just have to hope that he’ll still love me after my secret is revealed.”
The next day, Piglet is in the home economics class, learning the basics of cooking. He writes down every note on cooking terms. Then the teacher, Mr. Victor, gets a call from the principal. He picks up his phone and answers, “Hello? Okay, I’ll tell Piglet. Goodbye.”
After ending the call, Mr. Victor tells one of his students, “Piglet? You need to head to the front desk. There’s someone special waiting for you.”
“Can’t it wait until the end of class?” Piglet asks.
“The principal says it’s important for you to come out as soon as possible,” Mr. Victor insists. “But don’t worry. When you come to this class on Wednesday, you can ask a fellow classmate to share their notes with you.”
“Alright,” Piglet accepts. He gets up from his chair and leaves the classroom. He makes his way down the halls and comes up to the front desk to see a familiar face. “Mom!” Piglet cheers.
“Nicky!” Piglet’s mom cheers back. They both share a hug.
“You’re home from your business trip,” Piglet points out. “What are we going to do today?”
“We’re going to visit your father in jail,” Piglet’s mom answers. “We have an important conversation we need to talk about.”
“Okay, mom,” Piglet accepts. With that, they leave the school and make their way to the Oregon State Correctional Institution, where Piglet’s father resides. There, they enter the visitor’s room, waiting their incarcerated father/husband.
After a few minutes, Piglet’s father walks up to one of the visitation booths with a sour look on his face. Piglet’s mom heads over to the booth and picks up the phone. “Hello, Gilbert,” Piglets mom greets coldly. “Did you receive my petition and summons?”
"Yes, Priscilla,” Gilbert grumbles. “You don’t expect me to show up for the divorce hearing while I’m stuck in jail, do you?”
"Actually, you do,” one of the parole officers responds. “And we’ll make sure that you don’t harm anyone while the divorce hearing is going on.”
“Well, what about Piglet?” Gilbert questions. “Surely, he must be sad about his parents splitting up? Can’t we stay together for his sake?”
"There you go again, using our child as a bribe,” Priscilla scowls, “and his name is Nicholas! You didn’t even bother to remember his actual name.”
“Why do you care more about your son more than you care about me?” Gilbert insists.
“I care about you both!” Priscilla argues, sitting up from the chair and asserting herself. “I want Piglet to grow into a functioning adult and you to be a responsible adult like you used to be.”
Gilbert gripes, “You sound just like my mom.”
“Everyone sounds like your mom when they tell you to be a decent person,” Priscilla gets upset. “I don’t want to be compared to your mom. I want to be treated with respect.”
“Fine,” Gilbert sneers. “You don’t sound like my mom. You sound like a &%$#.”
Part of Priscilla wants to punch her soon-to-be ex-husband into another dimension, yet her reputation would sink if she tried to do that. Not to mention that she wouldn’t be setting a good example for Piglet. She takes a deep breath and tells Gilbert, “You don’t sound like a loving father or husband. You sound like a lazy, insensitive roommate with mommy issues.”
The moment the words fall into Gilbert’s ears, he snaps. He starts punching the barrier in the getting to the other side and hurting his wife. To his chagrin, the barrier is made of plexiglass, so he doesn’t even leave a dent. The correctional officers apprehend Gilbert and handcuff him behind his back. A correctional officer holds up the phone to Gilbert as he yells, “Let me at ‘er!”
Priscilla says, “Honestly, I’m disappointed in you. You flip-flop between being lazy and angry, with no in-between. You need a therapist for all the baggage you’ve carried for so long.”
“I don’t want a therapist!” Gilbert snaps. “I don’t want to be micromanaged by a &%$#, either! I was a responsible adult before that annoying kid came into our life!”
Priscilla gasps. She can’t believe that her husband would call his own child “that annoying kid!” She tells Gilbert, “Apparently, this family has changed you for the worse. This family has no place for a lowlife like you.”
“Will you at least let me talk to Piglet one last time?” Gilbert begs.
“Fine,” Priscilla huffs. She turns to Piglet and asks, “Nicky? Would you like to talk to your father?” Piglet, who looks sad, walks up to the booth and takes the phone
“Piglet!” Gilbert shouts. “I just want to say–”
“No,” Piglet interrupts, tears streaming down his face. “I heard everything. You took our already fragile relationship and shattered it into a million pieces.”
“I didn’t mean it, Piglet,” Gilbert tries to guilt trip Piglet. “I just got stressed from taking care of you.”
Piglet is not moved. “But you didn’t take care of me. Mom is the one who takes care of me, even with all the work she has to do. You were just...a donor.”
The word “donor” hits Gilbert hard. He has married Priscilla and given her a child, yet he spent all that time lazing around instead of contributing to his family. Would he improve if he severed his ties with his soon-to-be ex-wife and son? He tells Piglet, “You don’t need me in your life. Neither does your mom. I’m just a useless nobody.”
“Maybe you’re just not good at raising a family,” Piglet comments. “Goodbye, Pig.” He hands the phone back to his mom.
“Nicholas is right,” Priscilla says sadly. “You’re just not fit to be a father or a husband. You’re on your own once you get out of jail. Goodbye...Pig. The divorce hearing is this Saturday.” She hangs up the phone, turns to Piglet, and says, “Let’s go, Nicky. We’re going to try out a restaurant at Salem.”
“Okay, mom,” Piglet replies. He and his mom leave the visitor’s room while Gilbert is taken back to his prison cell. Gilbert looks down in shame. He has burned another bridge.
Cluedle-Doo and Lion make their way to Coverton in the night, wearing their masks. They make it to the house of Lion’s husband, David. Cluedle-Doo turns to Lion and tells her, “Do you have everything you need for your confrontation with your husband?”
Lion checks her things. Truth serum perfume? Check. Flesh suit? Check. Covert Audio Recorder? Check. Breath Mints? Check. “I’m ready to go.” Lion tells Cluedle-Doo.
“Alright then,” Cluedle-Doo confirms. “You might risk exposing you secret identity, but it’ll be worth it to expose your husband’s awful behavior.”
“Quick question,” Lion says. “How long does the truth serum last?”
“It lasts about a day,” Cluedle-Doo answers. “Do what you will with that information.”
With that, Lion steps out of Cluedle-Doo’s car and walks up the concrete sidewalk to David’s house. She hesitates for a moment, thinking about what her husband’s reaction to her current appearance would be. After a moment, she rings the doorbell and waits.
The door opens, revealing a white man with black hair and green eyes. He’s wearing a navy-blue suit with a white shirt and red necktie. He takes one look at the golden lion in front of him and recognizes her.
“You’re that Lion from M.A.S.C.!” The man shouts. “I have to call the police and then the mayor!”
“You will do no such thing, David!” Lion demands.
“How did you know my name?” David questions, his eyes widening. Lion pulls out her old flesh suit and holds it in her arms. David takes one look at the organ-less skin of his wife, and then he stares at Lion. He then concludes, “You. Killed. My. WIFE!”
“No,” Lion responds stoically. “I am your wife, and this…is the skin that I have shed.” She drops the flesh suit on the feet of David. He picks up the flesh suit and examines it closer.
Yep. He sees the tell-tale signs of a flesh suit. The artificial muscles, the silicone-esque tears and stretching, and the Barbie-styled holes where the hair would be. Still, David doesn’t believe the masked lion is his “dead” wife. So, he demands the person to “Take off your mask!”
Lion complies and takes off her mask, revealing her lioness face. “My darling,” she says sarcastically, “I missed you.”
David’s face widens in surprise. “That voice. It sounds familiar. Leona?”
“Yes. It’s me, Leona,” Lion replies sternly. “The wife you treated like a slave rather than an equal.”
David is flustered. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about! I treated my wife like a queen.”
Lion doesn’t buy her husband’s lie, so she takes out the truth serum perfume and sprays it on David. “What the hell?!” David exclaims. “What perfume did you spray on me?!”
“Truth Serum.” Lion responds.
“I will not be stopped by a perfume with a fancy name!” David declares. “Anyways, the only reason I married you was so that I could have someone to do all the housework and build my reputation as an upstanding citizen while I upheld on my bachelor lifestyle.” David gasps once he realizes what he just said. That perfume was an actual truth serum. “$#!%.”
“I told the truth,” Lion says. “It’s only fair that you do the same.”
“How long does this truth serum last?” David asks nervously.
“An entire day,” Lion answers. “You better get used to telling the truth for that day.”
David angrily asks, “Why are you here?”
“I’m here to tell you that we’re getting a divorce,” Lion responds. “We never officially divorced since I ran away while you were calling for an ambulance.”
“I should have called the cops first,” David murmurs, “but then my mistress and I would have died right then and there. Either way, I had to make a choice that wasn’t easy.”
“If you have died right then and there, I would have been freed from your abusive marriage. I realized that murder is wrong, even in a blind rage, and I should have divorced you the moment you started treating me badly.”
“Well, if it’s a divorce you want, it’s a divorce you’ll get! But I’ll be the one to keep everything, including the stuff you left behind. Where’s the papers?”
“They’ll be coming to your home in the middle of the week,” Lion reveals. “Good luck keeping the divorce a secret, and I’ll see you on Saturday.” She walks away from the house and back to Cluedle-Doo's car. The car drives away, leaving David confused and worried.
Saturday comes to Mask City. The two women and two men show up for their respective divorce hearings. For Lion and David, they’re not alone in the hearings, as David’s co-workers and mistresses are showing up after David has spilled the tea. For Priscilla and Gilbert, Piglet will be the only one in their gallery.
Lion shows up in the dress that she wore the night she snapped and almost murdered her husband and his mistress. The blood is almost invisible among the pink fabric. It won’t help her case, but it will empower her. After the introductions, and the sharing of their backgrounds, Lion presents her legal grounds for divorce to the judge.
“Your honor, throughout the marriage, David has treated me like a scullery maid instead of an equal. He also committed adultery every month, bringing home a new mistress every time. The final straw was when he proposed to one of the mistresses, Anne.”
“And that’s when she scratched me and my mistress!” David interrupts. “It wasn’t even a little scratch. It was a huge scratch that almost left us bleeding to death! She deserves to be jailed for her actions!”
“You may be right,” The judge says. “However, I don’t want to add the stress of being jailed to Lion’s already growing collection of stressors. What I’m going to do is give her a mandatory anger management course and a probationary period that will last as long as the course.”
“Fine,” David grumbles. “It still won’t give me the justice I deserve.”
“You’ll get your justice, all right,” Lion snarks.
“Now then, do you have any children under your care?” The judge asks.
“None, ma’am.” Lion replies.
“Your honor, I would like to claim custody of the house and everything within it,” David says. “That way, Leona can’t reclaim her stuff.”
“It’s only fair,” Lion agrees. “Everything he bought belongs to him, even when he bought it for me.” Lion curtsies, then continues, “This dress was bought by my husband and stained with his blood. It’s only fair that I give this back to him after we’re done with the divorce, to remind him of his failed marriage.”
“Keep it,” David mutters. “That dress is ugly, just like you.”
Lion glares at David, wanting to hurt him again. However, she decides against it instead. She realizes that he’s just making her angry again, and she will not fall for the same trap. She takes a deep breath and says, “Everything you intend to keep is just as ugly as you.”
Lion’s comment makes David angry. Should he try to hurt Lion back to make her feel what he felt when she almost murdered him? No. Then he would be jailed for his assault during a divorce trial. He tries to talk calmly during to Lion, but it comes out as an angry yell. “CAN’T YOU BE NICE TO ME FOR ONCE?”
The gallery gasps at David’s angry outburst. Just like Lion, David’s anger got the best of him. Even though he didn’t cause any physical harm, he took his last chance at making himself sympathetic and shattered it. All his mistress and co-workers are now rooting for his downfall.
The divorce hearing ends with Lion losing everything in the marriage, but with a newfound sense of self-respect. David kept his house but losing the respect of his co-workers and mistresses. As soon as they come out of the courtroom, they waste no time beating David down with words.
“I used to respect you for being the first one to have a wife! Instead of being a lazy adulterer, why don’t you become a healthy contributor to society?” One of his co-workers yells.
“No matter which mistress you marry, you’ll still be the unfaithful husband,” yells one of his ex-mistresses.
The co-workers and ex-mistresses yell over David about his adultery, his mistreatment and abuse of his ex-wife, and his lying. David runs away from the angry crowd and gets into his car, driving away back to Coverton. Now that the angry crowd has aired out their grievances towards David, the co-workers and ex-mistresses look at each other and decide to hook up.
Meanwhile, White Tiger, who was part of the divorce hearing gallery, walks up to Lion, tapping his index fingers nervously. “So…” White Tiger begins to speak, “Do you want to go out next Saturday? I could take you to Mister E’s Magic Pizza Parlor like I did with my first girlfriend.”
“Ah. I didn’t know that you had a girlfriend before,” Lion comments.
“We broke up back in October, but we’re still good friends!” White Tiger explains.
Lion feels unsure about this new relationship. After all, she just divorced her first husband after five years of abuse, adultery, hiding, and plotting her revenge. Will White Tiger be different from David? After thinking to herself, she responds to White Tiger, “Sure, Tiger. I would love to come to Mister E’s.”
“Great!” White Tiger cheers. “In the meantime, we can talk about our old relationships after work to get all the awkwardness out of the way.”
“That could help,” Lion smiles, knowing that she can trust White Tiger. Just then, another woman, a pig mask, enters the courtroom. Lion asks the pig mask, “Are you here to get a divorce as well?”
“Yes, I am,” The pig mask replies. “I saw an angry crowd chasing out a man who must have been your ex-husband, no?”
“That’s right,” Lion confirms.
“I don’t have a bunch of angry people, but I don’t need them anyways,” the pig mask says. “Once I divorce him, I can reclaim my life.”
“My name’s Leona. And yours?”
“Priscilla.”
“Well, Priscilla, maybe we could become friends,” Lion pulls out her phone and shows Priscilla her phone number. “Can we exchange numbers?”
“Sure,” Priscilla gets out her phone and types down Lion’s phone number and vice versa.
“I look forward to talking with you later,” Lion smiles.
“Same,” Priscilla replies. With that, Lion and White Tiger leave the courtroom and Gilbert, her ex-husband, enters. Priscilla knows what she wants: full custody of Piglet and full ownership of their house. Although becoming a single parent will be a challenge, it’ll be worth it if it means giving Piglet a better life. The two women look back at their previous relationships with bitterness and fondness as they start a new chapter in their lives.