Archive of Our Own

JJ was sitting in the front seat, next to John B who was driving as usual as they cruised down the narrow road. Trees lined both sides of the road as the forest surrounded them. It was the first week of their summer break and they had longed for this for months. He had craved this for months. Just him and his friends, with endless days and short nights. No, school, no grown ups, no Kooks. At least not for a couple of days.

He turned his head towards the backseat where Pope and Kie sat. Pope was reading something in a book and Kie was staring out of the window absent-mindedly with her hand sticking out of the window, feeling the wind outside. JJ watched her as her dark hair moved in the wind from the open car window, as she moved her hand in a wave motion. Then her gaze shifted and she looked over at him, smiling slightly as their eyes met.

His body suddenly jerked and his head snapped back painfully as the whole car violently swirled and yanked up and down which was then followed by a loud bang accompanied by a long row of swear words from John B as the Twinkie came to a stop by the side of the road.

“Fuck,” John B said again. “A pot hole”

“That didn’t sound great,” Kie commented.

“Definitely not,” Pope said. “Sounded like we blew a tire.”

“Great!”

John B shut off the engine and opened the door, the rest of them following suit. As soon as JJ stepped outside and looked back he saw the flat back tire of the passenger side and further down the road a huge pot hole that John B had failed to steer them clear of.

Pope kneeled next to the damaged tire, inspecting it carefully.

“It’s bad,” he said.

The sharp edge of the pot hole had severed the tire completely and with the way the Twinkie had moved JJ wouldn’t be surprised if it was more than just the tire that had broken. She was old after all, Twinkie. And she had been through a lot already. Taken them on many adventures, never letting them down.

JJ noticed that John B looked extra anxious as he too inspected the damage and JJ knew why. She was important to all of them but she was John B’s car after all and his most prized possession.

“There’s a spare tire though, right?” Kie asked “In the back?”

“Yeah,” John B, commented as he stood up again.

“So we’ll fix it,” JJ said encouragingly “We’ll change the tire, get her going and continue on with our journey. It won’t take long. We’ll be on our way in no time!”.

John B nodded and went to the back and opened the back doors. While he and Pope rumbled around in the back, trying to find everything they needed JJ looked around.

They had been traveling for almost 45 minutes already and they were in the middle of nowhere and the car ride coupled with the coffee and large amount of apple juice he had had for breakfast at John B’s house before they left had created an urge to pee.

“Well, nature calls,” he said and took a few steps into the forest.

He could still hear his friends talk as he walked further in, but also the sound of birds in the trees and the leaves blowing in the wind.

He was on his way back, almost back at the road when there was a sudden sharp pain in his left leg and he heard a rattling sound that he recognised very well.

As he looked down he caught a small glimpse of a grey brown snake as it disappeared into the bush.

“JJ!”

He must have called out in pain because when he looked up again Kie was looking at him worriedly.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Snake,” he said, taking a step forward. “It bit me I think.”

“What?” Pope and John B immediately stood up and all three of them rushed towards him.

His leg burned as he stumbled towards his friends and John B and Pope hurried to his side and supported him as he limped back towards the car, Kie hovering next to them.

“It’s fine,” JJ said. “I’m okay.”

Pope dropped to his knees and looked at JJ’s leg were two puncture wounds, an inch or two above his boot, trickled with blood.

“Did you see the snake?” Pope asked as his fingers hoovered over the small wound.

“Pretty sure it was a rattle snake;” JJ said, “I could definitely hear it rattle. It was greyish brown. Had some kind of dark pattern on the back”

“Timber rattle snake,” Kie commented.

Pope nodded.

“Probably,” he said.

“That’s not too bad though,” JJ said even though his leg burned and pulsated with every heartbeat.

Snakes were common in Outer Banks and sometimes he would see them in his own garden or at JOhn B’s.Snakebites happened every once in a while in these areas but it wasn’t like anyone had died from them. He was pretty sure he had learned in biology that it was very rare for people to die from rattle snake bites in the US at all.

“It is bad,” Pope said. “A rattle snake bite is a medical emergency. It’s not like a Copperhead. And you need treatment.”

Pope knew stuff like this but he was also a bit of a worrier. And an overthinker. JJ would probably be fine.

Next to him John B bit his lip and ran his hand through his hair. Kie looked at him, eyes wide.

“So we’ll fix the car, get back to town, I can get that stupid anti-venom and we can go back out,” JJ said.

“I don’t think it works like that…” Kie started shaking her head, a small smile playing on her lips as she shook her head.

“So we’ll head back out tomorrow,” JJ restated. “And we can probably still buy pizza for tonight.”

Next to him John B rolled his eyes.

“Do you ever stop thinking about food?” he asked.

JJ tried to take another step but stumbled as the pain shot up his leg and he instantly felt his best friend’s grip around him tighten.

“

“Woah,” Pope said, rushing to stand up again. “Easy…”

“I'm fine,” JJ stuttered.

“Let’s sit you down,” Pope “We need to keep you still.”

His hand gripped at JJ’s arm unnecessarily hard and JJ could feel him support most of his weight as he and John B led JJ towards the open backdoor of the Twinkie.

“Here, sit down,” Pope guided and helped JJ slide inside, sitting him down on the floor gently. JJ bit his lip and closed his eyes as the movement sent an extra strong jolt of pain through his leg that kept burning painfully.

“How are you feeling?” Kie asked, voice ever so slightly wavering.

“I’m fine,” JJ said “It just burns a bit, that’s all.”

It actually burned a lot, unlike anything he had ever before but he didn’t want to make his friends worry anymore than they already were. Pope gently extended his leg and inspected the angry fang marks again. A small trail of blood dribbled from them.

“He should be okay,” Pope said.

“Should?” John B interrupted. “What do you mean should?”

“These bites are rarely lethal and as long as he gets to a hospital everything should be okay,” Pope said. “They can be serious but like I said if we get him to the hospital symptoms should be okay.”

“Well that doesn’t sound very reassuring, Pope!” John B snapped angrily. “We are in the middle of fucking nowhere, the car is broken, we’ve not even started to fix it and we are almost an hour away and..”

“I KNOW!” Pope said. “I know…”

“Maybe we should just call an ambulance?” Kie suggested but JJ shook his head.

Ambulances cost money and it was bad enough that he would need a hospital trip that would also cost money. Money he didn’t have. HIs dad would be absolutely furious if he found out about this and he would if JJ was taken to the hospital for a stupid snake bite. So much for getting away from it all for a few days…

“No ambulance,”he said firmly. “Look, I’ll be fine. Like Pope said. We’ll just fix the tire. Nothing we’ve not done before. And then we can go back to town. Maybe that small clinic has the right shot to give me, and we won’t even have to go to the hospital?”

They all looked at each other, Kie and Pope obviously contemplating what they should do and say.

“I’m not sure we have reception here anyway,” John B shrugged. “Besides my phone is dead…and JJ’s-”

“At the bottom of the ocean” JJ filled in.

A week ago they had all been on a boat trip and JJ being JJ had dropped it doing some kind of back flip on the boat which had sent his phone flying into the water. JJ had of course dived for it but it was useless. He hadn’t been able to replace it.

“We should get going with that tire,” JJ continued, trying to stand up.

“You need to stay still, JJ,” Kie said gently. “The more you move the faster the venom will spread through your body.”

She placed a hand on his chest and the both of them looked down on her hand as it rested on top of his t-shirt. He instantly missed it when she removed it and looked at Pope again.

“We should take off your boot and clean the wound a bit. That’s the best we can do for now,” Pope said.

He gently removed JJ’s shoe but despite his tender movements JJ let out a cry of pain at the movement of his leg, whole body twitching and he felt both Kie and John B grabbing him, John B’s hand landing on his shoulder and Kie’s smaller one finding his own and squeezing it tightly.

“Aren’t you supposed to like suck the poison out or something,” JJ gasped. “Or cut the wound to let the poison out…that’s what they always do in movies...”

Pope shook his head

“That’s the worst possible thing we can do,” he said. All it does is introduce bacteria into the wound.“Do we have water and a napkin or something so we can rinse the wound and clean it a bit? A first aid kit?"

“We threw out that old first aid kit,” John B said. “I’ve not replaced it yet…”

He looked at JJ guiltily, eyes laced with worry.

“I’ve got a water bottle in my bag,” Kie said. “And a package of tissues.”

“Perfect,” Pope said as Kie reached into her bag.

JJ hissed again in pain as Pope cleaned the wound, as best as he could. His whole leg felt on fire and the bite was red, angry and kept dribbling of blood.

“We need to get going” John B said anxiously and looked from the flat tire and all the tools that lay scattered on the ground to his best friend.

He could see the way JJ’s jaws clenched in pain and how he tensed up every time Pope touched his leg.

“Right,” Pope said. “One of us should stay with him, though. Kie?”

She looked at him.

“You are better at that stuff,” she said after a few seconds of silence. “You know what to do...You know those things…I…”

She couldn’t stand seeing JJ in pain and while she wanted to stay next to him and not leave his side she knew that Pope was in fact better at this than any of them. He did know his stuff, always weirdly knowledgeable about random things.

“You stay with him…” she said, feeling tears form in her eyes that she blinked away as she resisted the urge to reach out to JJ again.

-

As Kie and John B set out to change the tire Pope sat down next to JJ in the back of the car.

JJ tried to keep the mood up to distract himself from the pain and to keep Pope from worrying so much.

The minutes trickled by and with every second the pain in his leg seemed to just intensify. didn’t dare to look at the wound. He was sure his leg was about to fall off, or catch fire.

Pope was holding on to his wrist and had been doing so for the last couple of minutes. His hand felt warm and safe and the gentle but firm grip grounded JJ through the pain.

“Didn’t know you liked to hold my hand so much, Pope,” JJ chuckled softly.

“Shut up,” Pope muttered. “I’m keeping an eye on your pulse.”

“Well can you find it?” JJ said “It should be there still…”

“It is but it’s too fast,” Pope said as he felt the rapid heartbeat under his fingers.

“Can’t do anything right…can I?” JJ said faintly, eyes falling shut.

“Hey,” Pope said, “JJ, stay with me.”

He tapped at JJ’s cheek, noticing how clammy JJ’s skin suddenly felt and he gently moved to feel JJ’s forehead with his palm.

JJ opened his eyes and looked at him blearily.

“How does your leg feel?” Pope asked, cupping JJ’s cheek.

“Like it’s going to pop off,” JJ said. “It’s on fire.”

Pope bit his lip and looked at JJ’s leg which was significantly more swollen now than just a few minutes ago.

“Anything else?”

“Bit dizzy…”JJ said faintly. “My face feels weird, hands are tingling…feel sick…my stomach hurts.”

“Okay,” Pope said. “Anything else?”

“Just cold…and my mouth tastes weirdly…”

“Weirdly how?” Pope asked as he looked around the backseat for a blanket or something to put around JJ.

“Coppery?” JJ said, though it sounded like a question. “LIke I’m bleeding or something!”

Pope didn’t like that one bit but thankfully it looked like JJ was not bleeding from his mouth. He stuck his head out of the car to see how they were doing. It couldn't have been more than 15 minutes since JJ got bitten but Pope was anxious and impatient. He noticed John B struggling to undo the tire, swearing under his breath.

“Is there a blanket in the back?” he asked, refraining from telling them they needed to hurry.

Both of his friends looked up.

“There’s one in the back.” John B said. “Is he cold?”

“Yeah,” Pope said. “It’s a common symptom after a snake bite. Says he’s a bit dizzy too.

It was in the middle of summer and Outer Banks wasn’t exactly known for being cold, particularly not this time of the year. He himself was sweating from the effort to get the old tire off and he remembered him and JJ changing the tires a few months ago after he had gotten off with a warning from Shoupe that they needed to be replaced. He swore as he worked to loosen the bolts.

“And his leg?” Kie asked.

“It keeps swelling. It’s bleeding a bit too. And his pulse is too fast. We need to hurry!”

“WELL I’M WORKING AS FAST AS I CAN, ALRIGHT?” John B said, raising his voice angrily as the old log wrench once again slipped and he angrily threw it to the ground. “It’s not my fault JJ tightened the bolts like he was the Hulk or something.”

He rested his face in his hands, feeling a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” KIe said as she patted him on the back. “He’ll be okay.”

He took a deep breath, collecting himself.

Both Kie and Pope were looking at him when he looked up.

“Yeah,” Pope said. “Everything will be okay.”

“Okay…” John B breathed, nodding to himself as he picked up the wrench again.

“Can you get me the blanket, Kie?” Pope asked.

She nodded and moved around the car and scrambled through the messy trunk. She found the old blanket that was likely almost as old as the car itself and rushed back to the other side.

“Here!” She said, tossing the blanket to where Pope was standing and he grabbed it before disappearing into the car again.

“What’s all the yelling about?” JJ muttered as Pope settled next to him again. He noticed how his best friend had started to shiver and small tremors ran through his body.

“John B thinks you tightened the bolts too tightly,”

“Pfft,” JJ sputtered. “He’s always blaming me. I definitely didn’t change that tire. Besides, John B is weak.”

“How do you feel?” Pope asked again.

“Same as when you asked what, 2 minutes ago? I’m fine Pope…”

“Lean forward” Pope said, helping JJ sit up slightly so he could wrap the blanket around JJ’s shoulders.

“Fuck, this reeks,” JJ complained. “Of Big John and old sea water, smoke and I don’t even want to know.”

He leaned back at the wall, hugging the blanket to his chest.

The car moved slightly as Kie and John B worked outside and he hissed in pain at the movement in his leg. He felt Pope shift next to him, once again grabbing his wrist and feeling his pulse. Pope’s hand felt warm against his cold skin and he wished Pope wouldn’t let go.

He didn’t.

.

Minutes trailed by and Pope could tell that JJ was getting worse. Despite the blanket JJ shivered and his heart was racing beneath Pope’s fingers. He was leaning against Pope, something he would never do otherwise and leg was now turning blue and the swelling crept up his leg.

“Gonna be sick,” JJ slurred and Pope just managed to help him lean out of the car, supporting most of his weight, before JJ threw up.

“JJ!”

Their two friends rushed towards them, John B hurrying to help steadying JJ as he heaved. Then he and Pope guided him upright again and JJ fell back against Pope’s side, exhaustedly.

“JJ?” Kie said, voice unsteady.

“Hurts…” JJ managed “Everywhere…”

Pope shook his head as he readjusted the blanket that had fallen down, wrapping it around JJ once again. JJ’s hair was plastered against his forehead and his skin shiny from sweat. Yet he kept shivering and twitching.

“We need to go,” he pressed.

“Yeah, we are almost done.” John B said, not being able to look away from his best friend.

The look of JJ’s leg and the smell of vomit made his own stomach churn. He felt useless for taking too long to change a stupid tire, useless because he didn’t know what to do in a situation like this and useless because they still had 45 minutes to get to the hospital. They should have called an ambulance. They should have gotten help. But this is what they always did, wasn’t it, him and JJ.

There was never enough money for a doctor, neither when JJ came to him with broken ribs and a swollen face two years ago, nor six months ago when he whipped out in the surf and John B thought he was going to die. Or any time really when JJ’s dad beat him up and John B was left picking up the pieces. He had watched JJ after concussions, staying up all night so he could wake JJ up at every hour. He had cleaned JJ’s wounds, he had taken care of JJs broken ribs, he had wrapped a sprained wrist or two. He had taken care of JJ when he had a bad fever and barely woke up for three days.

There were never doctors that could help, never grown ups taking charge, knowing what to do. Just the two of them. And it was a silent agreement that it would stay that way. Big John had been gone for months now and Luke- JJ was always better off when Luke disappeared off to god knows where anyway and sometimes John B wished he would stay gone. He always came back though, and Big John never did.

“John B!”

He finally snapped out of it at the sound of Kie’s voice. She had moved to the tire again and was fastening the final bolts to secure the spare tire and he hurried to help her.

Together they managed to tighten the bolts and Kie started to collect their stuff as John B undid the jack power and lowered the car to the ground again. He was pretty sure something else had broken underneath the car when they hit that pothole and that the twinkie wouldn't be happy with him driving with it but it didn’t matter.

A few minutes later John B started the car again. JJ was leaning heavily against Pope who had wrapped his arms around him and Kie sat opposite of them in the backseat. JJs eyelids were drooping and he seemed to struggle to keep them open.

“You are going to be okay, JJ,” John B promised as he turned on the narrow road and pressed his foot into the accelerator and with a strange sound and a jerky motion the car roared forward.

-

As they rode towards town JJ’s condition continued to deteriorate and Pope and Kie tried their best to keep him calm as the venom spread through his body causing it to shut down.

“Can’t breathe…” JJ gasped and struggled to sit up but ended up sagging against Pope again.

His pulse was weak and fast when Pope checked it again, his breathing was laboured and his leg looked as if someone had inflated it like a balloon.

Next to him Kie was crying silently but she kept stroking JJ’s arm gently.

Then suddenly JJ jerked again, arms flailing causing Kie to fall back.

Get off me” he wheezed as he moved his head. “Don’t touch me.”

“JJ,” Kie cried as she put a gentle hand on his chest trying to soothe him.

He didn’t seem to hear her though.

“No…” he said weakly. “Please…”

“JJ, it’s okay,” Kie said again. “We are here! We are going to take you to the hospital, you’ll be okay!”

“No…” JJ repeated. “Get off… don’t…dad please…don’t”

“JJ!” Kie cried out as JJ’s eyes flew open and darted around the car.

“Get off me-” he said again, too weak to push them away.

“It’s okay JJ, we are here.”

Nothing they did seemed to calm him down and he kept gasping for air in panic as his anxiety and agitation spiraled.

“Please…” he pleaded weakly. “Help…Don’t…me…”

-

When they arrived in hospital almost ten minutes later JJ was drifting in and out of consciousness.

As Kie ran inside to get help John B and Pope lifted JJ’s limp body out of the car and together they carried their unconscious friend inside and as soon as they stepped into ER doctors and nurses swarmed towards them, springing into action.

Again John B found himself utterly useless once the weight of JJ’s unconscious body was lifted from him and he was left just standing there watching as they lifted JJ onto a gurney, JJ’s limp arms flopping unnaturally and his head falling to the side.

“He was bitten by a snake,” Pope said. “I think it's been like 1 hour and 15 minutes or somehing- We are pretty sure it was a timber rattle snake.”

“Our car broke down,” Kie filled in “ We got him here as fast as we could. He’s going to be okay right?”

None of the doctors seemed to listen to her nor Pope as Pope continued to ramble.

Instead they began to take JJ away from them, JJ crying out anxiously at the sudden movement.

“Don’t touch me,” he said through a gasping breath and John B finally snapped out of his trance.

He wasn’t going to be useless and let them take JJ away and leave him alone. JJ didn’t trust anyone and JJ was sacred. He had spent the last part of the ride back, hearing JJ trashing, begging, pleading in fear. For minutes he had driven the car and Pope and Kie had desperately tried but failed to calm JJ as he pleaded with them to not touch him, to get off him, to leave him alone. JJ had been terrified and John B hadn’t been able to do anything but listen to JJ begging. For them to not let him die…For his dad not to hurt him.

“He’s my brother,” he said walking towards the gurney. “I need to be with him.”

-

They let him follow somehow as they took JJ into a trauma room and there were too many people in there all at once. for John B to keep up. Too many people were touching and probing JJ and he wasn’t allowed to get close enough to hold JJ’s hand. So he stood back, scared that if he caused trouble they would make him leave.

“Heart rate is 138 beats per minute, BP 86/54, he’s tachycardic and hypotensive. Respiratory rate 28, blood oxygen level 91%,” someone said.

“Temperature is 100,2,” someone else said.

JJ made another awful sound, a gurgling cry in pain when one of the doctors touched his leg.

“His leg is tense, could be a case of compartment syndrome…”

John B made the mistake of looking at JJs leg and almost threw up at the sight of it and instantly felt faint.

“...Let's get some IVs in him and get him on fluids and morphine for the pain. I want blood tests done, CBC-”

John B couldn’t keep up with everything the doctor ordered and he didn’t have a clue what everything was for but as he watched them work on JJ he understood one thing, things were really, really bad and JJ’s condition was very serious. Everything he already knew was confirmed when the monitors started to beat louder than before and with that, John B’s heart froze in his chest.

“Blood oxygen levels down to 88%, heart rate is up to 145, BP 76/47.”

“Put him on Oxygen 15 liters per minute, we need to stabilise him. We can't afford his vitals to drop any lower.”

The doctor continued to give orders but John B felt himself zone out again.

A nurse put an oxygen mask on his face, someone else hooked him up to several IVs. JJ remained distressed, weakly protesting at the hands touching him and trying to remove the mask from his face.

“He’s agitated and anxious…” the nurse called, grabbing JJ’s arm to keep him from reaching the mask for a second time. “ JJ, you are in the hospital and we are taking care of you. Can you take a deep breath for me?”

“No…” JJ gasped, turning his face away as the nurse tried to cup his cheek. “Please…”

“JJ you need to be still. We are going to help you.”

The nurse tried to calm him but JJ was having none of it and as the second went by with JJ trashing and the monitors blaring John B had had enough and he rushed to JJ’s side.

“JJ, it’s me, John B…I’m here…”

He put his hand on JJ’s shoulder, feeling JJ’s trembling body under his fingers. His other hand rested on JJ’s forehead.

“It’s okay, you are safe...no one is going to hurt you. You are safe…”

His fingers traced through JJ’s hair carefully, wiping away the sweaty locks from JJ’s forehead.

“Bree?” JJ whispered.

“Yeah,” John B said. “I’m with you.”

-

Pope was pacing. He had walked around the small waiting room non-stop ever since JJ was taken away by the doctors and John B followed him.

Kie’s thoughts were racing, and it felt like she hadn’t taken a breath since they arrived at the hospital. She couldn’t stop hearing JJ’s desperate pleas for help, she couldn’t stop seeing the panic in his terrified eyes and the way his body tried to move away from her and Pope’s hands in fear, as if he didn’t recognise them. And he had said something that would be stuck on her mind forever.

Please dad, don’t

Those words in particular echoed in her head as they waited.

And maybe she had always known, deep down, that JJ’s dad wasn’t like her dad, or Mr Heyward, or even Big John who she had never met, but John B spoke about all the time, with so much fondness and longing.

JJ rarely spoke about his dad and when he did it was different from the rest of them. Indifferent, avoidant, deflecting…Never with fondness, happiness or even annoyance.

He never spoke about his mum either.

Yeah deep inside she had always known. There were only so many times where JJ could have encountered some Kooks, or fallen off his bike. She had seen bruises JJ didn’t know she had seen. Not only on his face, but his arms and his back too.

So she had known, deep down, but it still felt like a punch to the gut now. Like a bucket of ice cold water being dumped over her head. As if her heart had shattered into a thousand pieces.

-

It felt like it had been long but it probably hadn’t been that long when John B entered the waiting room.

“He’s resting but they said we could sit with him…” he said.

Kie scrambled to her feet and Pope was at John B’s side instantly.

“How is he? What did they say? Is he stable? What are his vitals?” he babbled.

“I don’t know. They are doing a bunch of tests and they are giving him medicine. They said he’s stabilising but things were so bad in there. Like really really bad. I thought he was going to die…”

His friend’s voice trembled and Pope didn’t ask anymore questions even if he wasn’t exactly satisfied with the answers he had gotten. John B looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“Okay,” Pope said, breathing in. “We’ll talk to the doctors. If they let us see him that might be a good sign.”

It looked like John B didn’t believe him at all.

Pope tried to prepare himself for what he was about to see but nothing could have prepared him for this.

JJ looked awful in the hospital bed, lying completely still, surrounded by machines and covered in tubes and wires. His bare leg rested on a bunch of pillows, raised a little bit and the skin was stretched tightly over the swollen wound and a vivid colour of red and blue. The head of the bed had been raised ever so slightly and JJ’s body had been covered by a thin hospital blanket.

An oxygen mask covered JJ’s face and Pope watched it fog up with each of JJ’s breaths. There were IV’s in both of JJ’s hands and a needle in his arm.

“He’s been given the first dose of antivenom and we are going to keep administering it in several doses,” the nurse explained kindly. “We’ve also given him strong pain medication
to manage his pain. He’s resting now and needs his rest but you can stay with him, for now. We are monitoring his symptoms and vitals closely to see how he responds to treatment. His doctor will be here soon to speak to you about his condition and the next steps.”

John B took the chair next to JJ’s bed and sank down on it and Kie hurried to stand by JJ’s head at the other side which left Pope to stand at JJ’s feet.

John B didn’t move to touch JJ but just stared at his best friend with an exhausted look on his face.

Kie grabbed JJ’s hand gingerly, mindful of the IV. Pope watched the way her thumb moved across JJ’s fingers and how the tears fell silently on her face. Then his eyes moved the monitors next to the bed.

He didn’t have what JJ and John B had. They were the best friends in a group of best friends. They were ride or die for each other, brothers...and nothing measured to the bond they shared. And Kie and JJ? There was something special between them. It was the way they cared about each other. It hurt to admit, because sometimes when he looked at Kie his heart skipped a beat, but he knew that didn’t matter because JJ and Kie looked at each other in a way he could never compete with.

He could keep an eye on JJ’s vitals through the monitors though and make sure JJ was still alive. He could make sure he knew what to ask the doctors and nurses and make sure he would remember everything they said.

-

It didn’t take long for the doctor to arrive, a middle age man with greying hair and silvery glasses.

Pope listened tentatively as the doctor explained everything, wishing suddenly that he had read up on snake bites instead of pacing uselessly.

The doctor confirmed what Pope already knew though, JJ was in a critical condition. His vitals were shit, and even though they had stabilised him he was far from out of the woods and the venom was destroying JJ’s body.

They still didn’t know how he would respond to the treatment and it could apparently take hours before they knew. There were risks of compartment syndrome, permanent tissue damage, kidney damage,fluid in the lungs, organ failure…

The doctor didn’t have to say it, they should have brought JJ in sooner. They should have gotten an ambulance instead of naively thinking they could sort it out themselves. They had gambled with their friend’s life because of their stupidity and Pope would never forgive himself if JJ wasn’t okay.

“For now we are going to keep monitoring him, he’s showing signs of developing compartment syndrome but since the venom has affected his blood’s ability to clot we hope that the antivenom will improve his condition and that we can avoid surgery.”

“And if you can’t?” Pope asked.

“We’ll cross the bridge when we have to. We are keeping a close eye on him and we are running tests for any signs of change. He will be due another dose of antivenom in a while and we will reassess then.”

“But?” Pope pressed.

The doctor sighed.

“His condition is very serious and his body is strongly affected by the venom. Typically some of these symptoms take a bit longer to develop which is a concern but we are doing everything we can to help him.”

“What does that mean?”

The doctor gave Pope a small smile.

“He might have a sensitivity or the venom load was large. Sometimes people’s bodies react more strongly…”

There’s a moment of silence.

“We’ve still not gotten a hold of his dad,” the doctor continued. “Do any of you have a phone number or anything?”

They all shook their heads. John B’s eyes had been frozen in place, never once turning away from JJ’s face.

“Okay,” the doctor sighed- “It’s vital that we get a hold of him. He needs to be here.”

Pope wanted to say something but as he looked at his best friend lying so still on the hospital bed, pale face covered by the oxygen mask he decided not to. He didn't know what would happen if he did and he was terrified that nothing good would come out of it anyway. They would either do nothing or they would take JJ away and Pope couldn’t live with himself if either of those things happened. And he knew JJ would never forgive him either.

-

Time passed, Kie didn’t know how long. She kept squeezing JJ’s hand, mindful of the IV sticking out from the back of it. His hand was slightly warm in hers. Her eyes wandered to rest on JJ’s face and his dark eye lashes against his pale skin and she moved her hand to lightly stroke his cheek, letting her index finger brush against it lightly.

For a few minutes everything was calm as she continued to run her fingers through JJ’s sweaty hair. Then something shifted in the room.

“JJ?”

There was a sense of urgency and worry in Pope’s voice.

And then JJ’s calm breaths turned erratic and suddenly he was wheezing violently, breaths laboured and rapid, lips turning a bluish colour under the mask, while red splotches blossomed on his face, neck and chest. The monitors started blearing and the room was swarmed by doctors and nurses.

“JJ?” Pope repeated, voice now full of panic and fear.

“His vitals are dropping, he’s developing hives, he’s having an allergic reaction to the anti venom!” someone barked.

“Stop giving the antivenom immediately!”

Kie was shoveled to the side and they were all pushed away from the bed.

“His lips are swelling and his throat is swelling shut!”

“Give epinephrine, diphenhydramine and methylprednisolone…”

“Prepare for intubation and get a crash cart ready.”

“JJ!”

“JJ!”

“JJ!”

Their voices were drowned out by the peeping machines and the loud voices of the doctors and nurse as they shouted at eachother.

“You need to leave!” a nurse said walking towards them and trying to usher them outside with her arms outstretched. “You cannot be here.”

KIe tried to get a better look on JJ but it was impossible due due the flurry of activity around him.

“JJ,” she whispered as she was pushed outside and the door closed, leaving JJ all alone in the room with those people and completely hidden from view.

As soon as the door closed Pope collapsed, crouching down on the floor and hiding his head in his arms.

John B kicked the closed door in front of him forcefully, palms banging against it before he exhaustedly rested his forehead against the cool glass.

And Kie? Kie could feel her heart break into a million pieces as her chest caved in.

-

Eventually they were brought back to the waiting room and a nurse took care of them, giving them bottles of water and a couple of sandwiches to eat.

Neither of them felt like eating and the sandwich lay discarded next to them as they waited for an update.

It took maybe half an hour before the same doctor from before approached them with a serious look on his face.

“JJ had a severe allergic reaction to the anti venom, anaphylaxic” The doctor said. “It means his throat started swelling, closing his airway and his vitals sky rocketed. We gave him medications but unfortunately we had to intubate him to maintain his airway and we’ve put him on a ventilator for the time being.”

Kie let out a sob.

“But you said he would need another dose of antivenom?” Pope said. “What happens now?”

“We obviously can’t give him anymore. Instead we will have to be more aggressive with the other treatment forms. Once he is more stable we can consider another type of antivenom but at this point it’s too risky.”

“Can we see him?” Kie cried. “Please?”

The doctor shook his head.

“Not right now,” he said. “He’s not stable enough for visitors right now and you are too young anyway. We probably shouldn’t have allowed all of you to stay with him in the first place. Until he improves I don’t think it’s a good idea, for him or you.”

“But I need to be with him,” John B croaked out.

It was the first thing he had said since he came to fetch them in the waiting room.

“You have to let me see him,” he said.

“Right now I can’t,” the doctor said firmly. “I’m sorry.”

-

They were left in the waiting area again and Pope sank down to the floor, burying his face in his hands and drawing his knees to his chest. Kie joined him on the cold tile, huddling closely and when he looked up at her she let out a small sob.

“He’s going to be okay, right?” she asked.

He wanted to say, yes of course he will, it’s JJ, he’s always okay.

“I don’t know” he said quietly.

It felt like hours passed without anyone even bothering to look their way. People came and went but no one seemed to have news on JJ.

Pope had taken to pacing again when a nurse he recognised from before finally approached them and all three of them rushed up to her.

“We are talking JJ to surgery to reveal the pressure in his leg” she explained. “He’s developed compartment syndrome and if we don’t act now he risks losing his leg.”

“What?” Kie gasped.

“It’s a common complication after a snake bite,” the nurse said. “We were hopeful the symptoms would go down with the antivenom but since he had a reaction to it we cannot give him anymore and the other treatments have not been enough. If we don’t act now he can develop even more serious complications.”

“But then he’ll be okay?”

Pope felt naive to ask.

“The surgery is absolutely necessary but unfortunately it’s also not without risks and because his blood won’t clot properly due to the venom that poses a real risk of bleeding. But we can’t wait anymore and we’ve weighed the risks over the benefits. They are taking him up as we speak and once he’s out someone will update you.”

The nurse gave them a compassionate smile. She gave Kie a small pat on the back as she continued down the hallway.

“I’m going to be sick,” Pope stuttered and stumbled towards the nearest trashcan, emptying his stomach into it.

He had expected to be let into finally see JJ again. Not this. Not that JJ needed to have surgery.

While he coughed and gagged he felt Kie’s hand on his back and she patted it comfortably.

“Let it out,” she said gently as another round of bile made it into the trashcan.

He let out a shaky breath before he straightened his back and looked up at her. She gave him a small but sad smile and her eyes looked absolutely devastated. Her lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears.

“Hey…” he said and took a step forward and wrapped his arms around her. “It will be okay…”

Her nose pressed into his chest and her arms tightened around him.

“It has to be okay;” she cried. “We can’t lose him.”
“You know how strong JJ is,” he said. “He’s the strongest person I know…”

It was true. If he was to describe JJ, strong would definitely be a word he would use.

Strong, funny, loyal, reckless, stubborn, loving, adventurous, protective… resilient.

For as long as he had known JJ, JJ had always had the ability to bounce back from anything and everything he was put through. And god knows, had JJ been dealt a shitty hand in life. And no grown up ever believed in him or supported him. But that didn’t seem to matter though because JJ lived his life twice as hard as any else, with so much fire and intensity.

But Pope wasn’t stupid, he knew there were things JJ would never talk about. Dark stuff. Sometimes JJ’s demeanor would change and there would be a shift in his seemingly carefree nature. Sometimes he would over compensate and be too cheerful. Sometimes he would be distanced and zoned out. It was clear that JJ never wanted his friends or anyone else to see him that way but over the years Pope had become better at noticing when something was off. And now, he realised, he needed to be better at acting on it. He shouldn't let it slide because that’s what JJ wanted or because it was easier to wait for JJ to snap out of it. He knew that at some point JJ needed for someone to do that.

Grown ups in JJ’s life wouldn’t. His dad certainly wouldn’t and there was no mother. In fact there was no adult that would bother. The social services and Peterkin breathed down John B’s back about his dad being missing but didn’t seem to give a shit about Luke being drunk out of his mind all the time and doing disappearing acts of his own. They couldn’t be bothered because JJ was a Maybank and they hated him for it. So what if JJ’s dad was an alcoholic that couldn’t take care of JJ? JJ was going to turn out the same anyway so why bother giving him anything? Why bother about the visible bruises and broken skin?

Pope knew and he knew that the adults knew too. And while he had known for certain only for a short time they must have known for a long time.

Pope’s dad wasn’t particularly fond of JJ either. Truthfully, he wasn’t fond of any of Pope’s friends, Kie excluded maybe, but he disliked JJ the most.

Because JJ was reckless and rude. And because he was a Maybank.

Yet, Pope knew that his dad had a weak spot for JJ and that if there was any grown up that would care about JJ in a situation like this, it would be Pope’s dad. If there was anyone who would show up it would be him.

“I’m gonna go call my dad,” he said to Kie.

“Why?” she asked, confused.

“They said they can’t get a hold of Luke,” he started. “And they won’t let us see JJ. We can’t let him be alone in all this but if my dad is here, maybe he can talk with the doctors and they will let us see him. People like my dad and he’s good with words. Maybe he can convince them?”

She nodded carefully.

“I guess,” she said. “I’ll go find John B again.”

-

John B

“Hey,” she said softly. “How are you doing?”

“Great,” John B said sarcastically but when he saw her face drop he changed his mind. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Things are just shitty right now.”

She nodded and sat down next to him.

“It feels unreal,” she said. “Pope went to call his dad to tell him what happened!”

“What? Why?” John B said immediately straightening up in the chair.

“He could help,” Kie offered. “If they don’t find Luke they won’t even let us see him again. Pope figured if there was an adult here they might.”

“Heyward doesn’t even like JJ,” John B muttered.

“He’ll still show up,” Kie said. “You know he will. For Pope! ANd I think he still cares…about JJ I mean.”

“Sure,” John B sighed.

He didn’t really trust adults. Heyward was better than most and he was Pope’s dad but John B didn’t necessarily trust him, especially not with JJ.

He sunk down in the chair again, resting his head in his hands.

-

Heyward showed up in less than 15 minutes and John B half listened to Pope filling in his dad on everything that had happened.

“You should have called me sooner,” Heyward sighed. “But I’m here now and I’m glad that you did call.”

He gave his son another hug before reaching out to embrace Kie who started sobbing as Heyward's big arms wrapped around her small frame. John B longed for an embrace from his own dad but he remained seated and Heyward just gave him a quick pat on the back.

“So you’ve not heard anything else?” he asked.

Pope shook his head.

“Just that they took him to surgery,” he mumbled. “A while ago.”

Heyward nodded.

-

Eventually a different doctor from the one that had treated JJ before approached them and they all scrambled to their feet.

“The surgery went well,” the doctor said. ”As well as we could have hoped. We’ve relieved the pressure in his leg successfully and he’s been given blood transfusions and medications and we will keep in post op for a while before he will be moved up to the ICU.”

“And can we see him?” Heyward said.

The doctor looked at him, seemingly uncertain about what to say,

“He needs his legal guardian,” the doctor said. “He is a minor so without the permission from either of his parents we-”

“He’s dad is out of town,” Heyward interrupted. “And JJ stays with us. Look, you and I both know there will be no harm in letting them see him. Quite the opposite. They have all been through hell today. I promise they won’t cause any trouble. They will sit with him. And I’ll be there to keep an eye on them if that helps.”

“I shouldn’t…” the doctor said.

“Please?” Kie said.

“I’ll talk to the nurses,” the doctor sighed. “They will show you the way and explain everything further.”

-

John B had thought it couldn’t get worse than what he had seen before but this was much much worse.

The ICU bed much seemed larger and JJ smaller. There were still tubes and wires everywhere, criss crossing over JJ’s body, needles in JJ’s arms and hands, wires taped to JJ’s chest visible under the hospital gown. His leg was still slightly elevated and covered in white dressings.

There was a tube in JJ’s throat now and half of JJ’s face was covered by the plastic thing holding it in place. It looked painful, like someone had just shoved it down JJ’s throat and it was probably the most awful thing John B had ever seen. And he had watched them do it, right before the door had closed behind him.

“JJ?” Pope was the first one to approach JJ’s bed but John B felt himself frozen into place, unable to take a step further. He couldn’t usher a word out, eyes locked on the ventilator in JJ’s mouth. There was even a needle in JJ’s neck he realised and he could feel his knees weaken.

He felt a strong hand on his shoulder as Heyward walked up to him and next to him Kie gasped.

“Oh god,” she whispered. “JJ..:”

“God boy…” Heyward said quietly, shaking his head, voice devoid of any annoyance or anger.

-

They sat with JJ for as long as they were allowed. Nurses came and went but were never far away. The monitors peeped and the ventilator wooshed and clicked. If Kie listened carefully she could even hear the drip of the IV’s. But JJ remained still and silent on the bed and she hated every bit of it. He was never still like this. He was always moving around, always restless and almost never quiet.

She held his hand carefully in hers and it was probably more for her sake than his. She needed to hold on to him, needed to feel the warmth of his skin against hers. His fingers were dry and there was a small wound on one of his knuckles that gently ran her thumb against.

Neither of them had said anything in a while. Pope had talked a lot in the beginning especially when the nurse went through everything with them but now he had gone quiet. Heyward was standing behind him, hands resting on his son’s shoulders and a deep frown on his face. John B hadn’t said much at all but Kie knew she was spiraling and disassociating.

There were a lot of things she wanted to say but with the others there she found herself unable to usher them. So they just sit in the room in silence.

Eventually it’s Heyward that broke the silence.

“I think it’s time for us to head home” he said.

“What, no?” Pope protested.

“It’s getting late,” Heyward said. “ We ought to go home. I think your parents are probably wanting you home as well; Kiara. And besides I think the nurses will tell us to leave anyway.”

She knew he was right. She had ignored the texts from her mum and just told her dad he would be home late. They probably thought she was at John B’s anyways.

“Come on,” Hayward continued. “You three have barely eaten today either and you must all be exhausted. Won’t do JJ much good by not taking care of yourselves.”

“I’m not leaving him,” John B said firmly.

“You can’t stay here all night,” Heyward said. “They are not going to let you do that kid”

“I’ll stay in my car in the parking lot then,” John B said stubbornly. “I’m not going to leave.”

Heyward sighed.

“I think you should come with us. Have something to eat, get some sleep.”

As if on cue one of the nurses approached them.

“It’s time for you to leave,” she said. “It’s getting late and JJ needs to rest.”

Kie wanted to protest because it wasn’t like didn’t let JJ rest. All they did was make sure JJ wasn’t alone.

Pope was the first to stand up.

“Guys…” he said. “Come on..:”

Kie brought JJ’s hand to her lips and gave his knuckles a small kiss.

“I’ll be back soon,” She whispered. “I promise.”

Reluctantly she stood up and her whole body felt stiff after spending so many hours sitting still. Pope and Heyward were already standing by the doorway and Heyward gave her a pat on the back when she approached them.

Unsurprisingly John B was the last to stand but eventually he too stood up from his chair and briefly went to touch JJ’s shoulder.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and when he turned around and walked towards them his face was blank.

-

The Pogues remained at JJ’s side for the next few days and two days later JJ finally came off the ventilator and the tube in his throat was replaced by an oxygen mask.

John B watched the mask fog up with each of JJ’s breaths and it felt like he himself could finally breathe properly again. It was a relief to not have to see that horrible tube everytime and it was a relief to know that JJ breathed on his own.

“He’s doing very well,” the doctor explained. “And now that he’s come off the ventilator we will let off on the sedation and hopefully he will wake up.”

As usual, Pope was the one to ask questions.

“When will that be?” he asked

The doctor smiled.

“I think he’ll probably wake up in the next few hours but don’t expect too much out of him.His body has been through a lot and it needs time to heal. Sleep is the best for that. He is likely to sleep most of the time anyway.”

“Hear that JJ,” Kie said as the doctor walked away. “Time to wake up now…”

“It’s definitely about time,” John B said. “You never do anything half way, do you? Always have to be worse.”

Kie and Pope smiled.

“Typical JJ,” Pope said. “Always outshining the rest of us.”

-

A couple of hours trailed by and JJ kept on sleeping calmly. Then sometime in the afternoon the calm and silence was interrupted by loud voices in the hallway and suddenly Luke stood in the doorway to JJ’s room. Instantly John B tensed up, moving his hand to JJ’s arm and Pope stood up from his chair. Kie almost dropped the magazine she had been reading and straightened up in the chair.

Luke took a step into the room and Kie too stood up from her chair, putting herself between JJ and Luke.

He looked rough, clothes dirty and hair were dirty and skin reeking of booze even from where he was standing several feet away.

“Shit, boy” he muttered. “You are always causing trouble for me, don’t you? Always messing up…”

The nurse seemed alert and she nodded to one of the other nurses in the doorway.

Luke said nothing for a few seconds and Kie could feel the tension in the room build, John B ready to dart up from his chair on the opposite side of the bed and Pope following Luke’s every step.

“Can I take him home?” Luke asked looking from JJ to the nurse.

The nurse sighed patiently.

“Mr Maybank, as I explained to you JJ is still in a very serious condition and he needs to be in hospital. We can’t let him go. He needs hospital care for a lot longer.”

“How much longer?” Luke asked suspiciously as he walked closer to the bed.

“Several days,” the nurse said. “Probably one to two weeks.”

Luke shook his head.

“No, I’m taking him home. He can rest or whatever at home. He’s already cost me too much money by getting himself into trouble. I’m not paying for this shit so I’m taking him home now.”

“I don’t think you realise how serious JJ’s condition is,” the nurse tried but Luke ignored her.

“He’s caused me enough trouble as it is,” Luke snapped. “He’s going home with me.”

He made an attempt to walk closer to the bed but the male nurse from the doorway suddenly appeared and blocked the way.

“You are not taking him anywhere,” he said firmly.

“I’m his father,” Luke said. “I can do whatever I want with him. I get to decide what happens to him. And I’m telling you I’m taking him home. You can’t treat him against my wishes. That’s against the law.”

Then another voice spoke up and Pope looked up to see Shoupe stand in the doorway. It made sense of course. That the cops had picked Luke up from the streets and brought him here.

“Luke,” Shoupe said. “Calm down.”

“What are you gonna do, jail me?” Luke said.

“Noone is going to put you in jail as long as you behave,” Shoupe said. “And I’m telling you right now that you are going to let them treat JJ.”

“Is that a threat?” Luke said loudly, clearly agitated now turning his attention towards Shoupe.

“Noone is threatening you,” Shoupe said. “But if you do anything that endangers JJ’s life the state is obliged to act. So if you withhold the treatment JJ needs we will have to act on it. That is in fact in the law.”

“You are not taking my boy from me,” Luke shouted, walking towards Shoupe. “And you are not threatening me like that you fucking cop.”

One second Luke was approaching Shoupe raising his fist and going in for a punch, the next Shoupe had him kneeling on the floor, hands twisted around his back.

Luke cried out in pain as Shoupe cuffed his hands behind his back and made him stand up.

“Okay, that’s it,” Shoupe said. “You are coming with us.”

And as soon as he had arrived, Luke disappeared into the hallway, screaming and protesting loudly.

-

They all sank back into their seats as the sounds of Luke’s angry voice faded away. Neither of them had much time to process ot however.

“I think he’s waking up,” Pope said and nodded towards JJ whose eye brows furrowed and his head moved slightly.

“JJ?” John B said, taking JJ’s hand in his.

A few seconds later JJ opened his eyes tiredly and looked around the room.

“It’s okay,” Kie said. “We are here.”

“What?” JJ managed through the oxygen mask.

“You are in the hospital,” Pope said.

JJ’s eyes closed for a little while and he breathed slowly.

“Snake?” he asked and opened his eyes again.

“Yeah,” Pope nodded. “You got super sick buddy. Like really sick.”

JJ looked around the room and made a move to sit up.

“Hey, easy,” John B said.

JJ sank back into the pillow again.

“Dad here?” he said, eyes closed.

“He was here,” John B said. “But you are safe. I promise.”

“Shoupe took him with him so he’s not gonna come back,” Kie said.

JJ’s eyes snapped up again and he anxiously moved on the bed.

“Hey,” John B said. “You are okay. You are safe. They took him away because he tried to punch a cop. That’s all. Everything is gonna be okay.”

JJ seemed to relax again and his eyes closed. It didn’t take long before he was asleep again.

-

JJ slept for almost an hour before he woke up again, this time a little bit more alert than before.

The first thing he did was reaching for the oxygen mask to try to take it off.

John B caught his arm before it reached all the way and he gently placed it down on the bed while Kie held on to JJ’s other hand to keep him from having another go at it.

“”Hey, let it be,” Kie said.

JJ opened his eyes and looked at her and she smiled gently.

“How do you feel?” she asked.

“Like shit,” JJ sighed.

“Are you in any pain?” Pope asked. “Do you want me to get a nurse?”

JJ shook his head.

“No nurse,” he breathed.

The oxygen mask frustrated him and made it harder to speak but he made no new attempt to remove it, knowing it would be useless since his two friends held on to his arms.

He took a moment and seemed to take in the room before his gaze landed on his leg.

“They had to cut into your leg,” Pope said. “Or you could have died, or lost the leg.”

“Yikes!” JJ sighed. “No wonder I feel so shitty.”

John B rolled his eyes and Kie and Pope smiled.

“It will be okay though, right?” JJ asked. “I’ll be able to surf and stuff?”

When neither of them answered immediately he moved restlessly on the bed and made another attempt to sit up straight only to fall back again because John B put a gentle hand on his chest.

“The doctor will explain it better but it will take time and you’ll need physical therapy. They had to make cuts into the leg and into the muscle to release the pressure. It needs to heal. They said you’ll be on crutches for a while.”

“How long?” JJ asked. “And don’t say you don’t know because I know you ask shit like that, Pope.”

“I’m not a doctor JJ,” Pope said. “But they said probably six to eight weeks. It won-”

“But that’s the whole summer,” JJ interrupted. “That’s all of summer and the whole break. I…”

“Hey, hey” Kie said. “The only thing that matters is that you are okay.”

“Yeah, buddy,” Pope said. “What Kie said. What matters is that you are alive and will be okay.”

“Everything is ruined, JJ” continued. “I won’t be able to do anything. And you’ll probably be stuck with me until you get too bored.”

“We won’t be bored…” Kie said.

JJ shook his head. They didn’t understand. Everything was ruined. What was supposed to be the best summer ever was now in tatters, all because of a stupid snake bite. His dad was right he did screw up everything he did, one way or another.

“Look mate,” John B said. “It’s not what we all set out to do a few days ago but right now I’d take it. Because the last three days have been terrifying and you scared us shitless. This summer won’t be surfing and trips with the twinkie. We’ll just have more pizza nights, and movie nights…”

“And game nights…” Pope filled in.

JJ sighed.

“We are honestly just thankful you are okay,” Pope said. “Like really. You could have died…you almost did die.”

JJ didn’t say anything as he tried to take in what his friends had said. They all looked worn out, as if they hadn't eaten or slept properly in days. And JJ wasn’t lying when he said he felt like shit. His leg hurt and his throat was sore. The needles and IVs in his arms and hands throbbed painfully.

His head felt heavier again as he sank deep into the pillow. He felt Kie’s hand in his and John B holding onto his shoulder. He leaned in to their touches, closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.

-

JJ was moved from the ICU the following morning and in the evening the annoying oxygen mask was replaced by a less annoying but still irritating oxygen tube in his nose.

His leg was healing nicely, the doctors and nurses said and his body was recovering well from the venom but he would still have to stay in the hospital for several more days so the doctors could monitor him for other complications.

It was hard to grasp and JJ didn’t like thinking too much about how sick he had become. How sick he still was. Weak.
During the day it was easy, his friends kept him company for as long as they were allowed, they read to him, played card games with him and kept his thoughts at bay.

But when visiting hours ended and especially at night his thoughts came back and they were hard to let go of. He didn’t remember much but his friends had explained everything to him. He wasn’t particularly scared of death even, had never expected to live long anyway but still hearing his friends retell everything to him with so much fear and sadness in their voices did something to him. He didn’t want that to happen again. He didn’t want to put his friends through that again.

He spent hours every night unable to fall asleep thinking about it, unable to put an end to his racing thoughts. By morning he was utterly exhausted.

-
Pope was the first to arrive and as soon as he spotted JJ on the bed his face fell. JJ looked absolutely horrible and like he hadn’t slept at all the previous night.

“You look horrible,” Pope said as he sat down.

“Wow, thanks, Pope,” JJ said sarcastically.

“Did you sleep at all?” Pope said and JJ shrugged.

He looked away and Pope could see him close in on himself. He hated that part of JJ that was guarded and didn’t let people in. He hated that JJ didn’t trust him enough to let his guard down. He hated that JJ felt like he couldn’t trust even his closest friend enough to allow himself to be vulnerable to them. He hated whoever and shaped and carved this JJ and left him like this.

And Pope wasn’t good at this. He didn’t know how to approach JJ to address his obvious distress. He knew JJ hadn’t been sleeping well but it seemed to have just escalated and now JJ looked gaunt. There were dark circles under his eyes and a dark bruise on his arms from one of the needles that had been removed yesterday.

“Uh, my dad said he would step by later today,” Pope said.

“Your dad hates me though,” JJ said.

“He doesn’t hate you, JJ,” Pope said. “He came to the hospital as soon as I told him and he made sure we were allowed to be with you. Even when you were in the ICU.”

“But why?” JJ asked.

“Because you were in a really bad way, JJ” Pope said. “And he knows you are my best friend…and because he was genuinely worried about you. I don’t think I’ve seen him like that before.”

JJ rolled his eyes slightly and readjusted on the bed.

“It’s true,” Pope said. “We all care about you…”

“Yeah, I know!” JJ said quickly.

“I mean it though, JJ,” Pope said. “And we care when we notice you aren’t feeling well…”

JJ chewed on his bottom lip and fiddled with the blanket.

“I just want to go home,” he said quietly. “I hate it here.”

Pope reached out and placed his hand on JJ’s carefully, not wanting JJ to backtrack and withdraw.

“I know,” he said.

“I don’t like hospitals,” JJ mumbled.

“I know,” Pope repeated.

JJ was silent for a little while before he spoke again.

“Do you think my dad will be back?” he asked.

It wasn’t exactly what he expected but it made sense that JJ was wondering about his dad. Luke hadn’t been back but Pope doubted he would be held in custody for the rest of JJ’s hospital either. But no one had bothered to tell them anything.

“I don’t know,” Pope said. “I guess so…”

“Right,” JJ said.

He fell back into the pillow and closed his eyes.

“What will even happen if he disappears again?” he said, voice even quieter than before.

“I don’t know. But we’ll figure it out,” Pope promised. “And my parents will help. I know they will. They won’t let them send you away anywhere.”

“He’s gonna be mad,” JJ mumbled. “We can’t afford all this…” he vaguely gestured to monitors and machines around him.

“So much for saving money by not getting an ambulance,” he muttered. “What a difference that made…”

There wasn’t much Pope could say to this. Apart from Kie they all struggled with money to some extent. Pope to a lesser extent maybe but John B and JJ both struggled with money and JJ in particular. Luke didn’t have a stable income and he was an alcoholic and a drug addict. There was no money for hospital bills and Pope couldn’t pretend that everything would be okay. He wasn’t naive like that and JJ certainly wasn’t.

A few tears fell down JJ’s face and he quickly wiped at them with his hand before giving Pope a sad smile.

“Do you have any of those fancy science illustrated mags with you or what?” he asked.

Pope smiled.

“Of course I do,” he said. “Do you want me to read it to you?”

“Just none of those quizzes, you are just doing them to brag about how smart you are,” JJ said.

Pope laughed and reached for his bag and brought out the stack of magazines he had brought with him.

“So how do you feel about snakes?”

JJ looked at him for a few seconds before a smile spread against his face.

“Wow, Pope!” he laughed. “Straight for the jugular.”

“Too soon?” Pope asked, watching JJ shake his head in amusement.

“Didn’t think you could be so lethal,” he continued. “Or should I say poisonous?”

“It’s actually venomous,” Pope said. “Snakes, I mean. They are considered venomous not poisonous.”

“Whatever,” JJ said. “It’s the same thing.”

Pope smiled as he opened up the magazine. It felt nice hearing JJ laugh and joke around after everything that had happened in the last week. As he started reading it didn’t take long before JJ fell asleep and when their friends arrived one by one a little while later they just tippy toed into the room, letting their friend rest.

-

Five days later JJ finally stood outside the hospital, John B and KIe at his side. He leaned against his crutches as he waited for Heyward to pull up with the car.Somehow Heyward had convinced the hospital to let JJ be released into his care for now. Maybe it was like Pope had explained to him, that everyone liked him but it didn’t matter. What matter was that he was gonna go home and even if it wasn’t John B’s house it was still a relief to finally be let out of the hospital. It was nice to finally be outside again and finally feel the warmth of the sun against his skin, and the warm breeze in his hair.

As Heyward pulled up his John B helped him inside the car while Kie took the front seat.

“Ready to go home, kid?” Heyward asked as he turned around to make sure JJ was situated into the backseat.

“So ready,” JJ said. “Never been more ready in my life.”

“I’m glad,” Heyward said. “I think Pope and his mum have probably cleaned and rearranged the whole living room by now. And I hope you are hungry. She’s been cooking the whole morning too.”

JJ didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t used to people outside his very small bubble to care about him at all, especially not parents and grown ups.

“I…” he stuttered. “Thank you…”

“Don’t mention it, kid. I’m just happy to see you up and about and my wife and I are happy to have you stay with us. For as long as you want to. Now let’s get going or Pope will call me asking us why we aren’t home yet.”

20 minutes later JJ was sitting on Pope’s couch, leg propped up on the footrest in front of him as Pope’s mum fussed around him.

“There you go, sweetie,” she said as she adjusted the pillow behind his back. “Let me know if I can get you anything!”

“Should we watch a movie?” Pope suggested as he turned on the TV.

“Sure,” JJ said.

“Are you both staying for dinner?” Pope’s mum asked and both Kie and John B nodded.

JJ settled into the couch and let himself relax against the pillow Pope’s mum had provided as Pope and Kie bickered about what movie they were going to watch.

As he snuggled underneath the thin blanket she had draped over him he watched his three best friends as JOhn B had now joined in on the movie debate.

It was nice to be at home and even if it wasn’t the summer he imagined at least he had them. And that was all that mattered anyways.

-