Chapter Text
If you were to make me choose between an augmented human who made me want to die at his feet, a hell planet infested with alien shit turning everything into monsters, a fuckoff research transport that set my nervous system on fire, or a hippie station trying to force me to take trauma treatments, the answer would be my current situation: laying low in a stolen B-E transport while security swept the station. Owen and Ameca were both flooding me with messages that I was ignoring, StationSec had lost my trail after I hacked their system (which was beefed up more than a standard SecSys, but still nothing I couldn't handle), so I assumed I could hide in here indefinitely. Actually launching the ship wasn't an option, it was in long term docking and needed a whole process to get free, but even that was better than the communal construct housing they wanted me to stay in.
The construct housing was only temporary until the "refugees" were deemed able to "integrate into society" and hold a job of some kind. It was carefully put together with cameras in every corner, a place to request drones from, a very large area for physical activity and combat training, no area for food, a handful of cubicles for those who preferred that for refuel/repair/recharging over a MedSys, and various rooms targeted at trying new activities and skills. There was also a selection of human and bot staff who kept it running on a structured schedule. There were several ComfortUnits, a handful of SecUnits, and I was the only CombatUnit. I was the only one who seemed to dislike engaging with this facility on any level.
I had stopped seeing the Girl shortly after being purged of nanites, but the feeling of having some Thing right outside of my field of vision persisted, especially in areas where other people could be. This feeling was not alleviated by accessing surveillance of my surroundings. It was like I was still being affected by the... whatever that human scientist from Panta called it, psychosis or some shit. Whatever. Everything just felt like it was fake. The way humans were always asking if I wanted to talk to try new things just made it all worse. And while they said they wouldn't stop me from leaving, they advised me not to. And made no moves to let me take my transport (which had paperwork logging it as belonging to Ameca). So I was mostly stranded in this system that had fresh shiny new laws classifying constructs as full people that they were eager to put into practice, and it my my fucking problem.
I got an access request from the ship's outer hatch, and I checked the security cam and saw it was a woman I did not recognize. She was waiting patiently like she had just knocked on a neighbor's front door. I ignored her, but she send another request and spoke like she knew I was listening, "I'm here to talk. Security won't know you're here, your squadmate said you were probably here. Can I come in?"
She was fearless and calm, this wasn't a threat or a demand, this was maybe a negotiation? I was... interested to know what she thought talking to me would accomplish. I unlocked the hatch and moved to intercept her.
She came in and made a path toward the lounge area, I circled around and got behind her. "What do you want?"
To her credit, she didn't flinch. She turned around, but she had that thing that a few humans did where she didn't look directly at me. "Hi, I'm Dr. Bharadwaj. You go by Blank, correct?" I nodded, and she continued, "You have everyone pretty worried, disappearing like that."
"If you're just here to drag me back, you can fuck off."
"I wasn't lying, I'm here to talk, if you're willing. I understand not all constructs are comfortable in social situations, like communal living. Even some humans feel uneasy in those kinds of situations."
I squinted and folded my arms in that way I had learned to make humans afraid of me. She didn't seem to care, which irritated me, "What's your point?"
"What do you need? Our program is trying to give each newly freed construct what they need to enjoy their lives. Do you know what we can do to lessen your uneasiness?"
"What makes you think I'm uneasy?"
She raised an eyebrow, "You're trying to intimidate me, like, right now. You have been avoiding the councilors, and you hacked into station security, Indah is livid by the way, to run and hide here, in the only familiar structure you know. I can dance around and play games with you, but do you want that?"
I didn't like how easy she was reading me. I uncrossed my arms, "I don't."
"Good." She stepped over and leaned against the wall, visibly making me see her guard was down, "How long have you been free?"
"Over fourteen hundred hours." Oh, but I guess that was just my second time being rogue. "But I was rogue before my memory wipe. It could have been between five and seven thousand hours. I have text logs of that time, but no hard memories."
She took some time to do a little math in her head. "That's quite a bit of time. Do you know what you want to do?"
That was a dumb question, "I want to leave."
She listened, and she did not make a face. I appreciated that. "Do you know where to go? Or how you'll make it on your own?"
That was.... not a dumb question. "My logs have significant entries detailing how to survive, as wall as a fake identity I can assume. I can make money as a hacker while pretending to be human. I survived that way before while traveling to gather ways to fight back against... the person who owned me."
"If that's what you really want, I can help you get prepared for that again, but I have to ask: do you think that will be enjoyable?"
The thought of pretending to be human while just making little bits of money at a time made my performance reliability drop. "No."
"Okay, thank you. So, do you have any memories where you were enjoying yourself?"
I was going to say no, explain how the very nature of being a construct was to hate everything, but I stopped short when I recalled a recent memory as well as a RogueStatus file, both about destroying humans at their own games. "I like winning."
Bharadwaj smiled, "I think we can find a way to make that happen. But you'll have to come back with me long enough to help sort out all the confusion, and if you really want to live here in the transport, I know someone who can help make that happen."
So I went back with her. She made me feel entirely new sensations. For the first time, a human who had power over my situation didn't seem like a threat, which in and of itself make me think she was even more of a threat. Would I let her hurt me if she asked? I let her lead me through the station, would she find my weak points and exploit them? She already found the gaps in my walls. It worried me. But all that happened was introducing me to the program's legal consultant, a woman named Pin-Lee, arranging for me to live in the transport in the dock (after a call for verbal permission from Ameca) for my "mental health," and then making me promise to come in four out of every seven days for career and life counseling. And they reminded me that if I hacked anything else on the station without express permission then I would be required to do "community service." That was it. They just let me go after that. Big scary rogue CSU, and they just.... gave me official access to the place I wanted to hide in and a promise to find ways to fulfill my drive to beat others.
If you were to make me choose between an augmented human who made me want to die at his feet, a hell planet infested with alien shit turning everything into monsters, a fuckoff research transport that set my nervous system on fire, or a hippie station trying to force me to take trauma treatments, the answer would be my current situation: laying low in a stolen B-E transport while security swept the station.
Correction: Maybe.... The hippie station was less terrible than my other options.