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"But Granny, if a light novel is, as you said, rated M for Mature audiences specifically, why don't they just invent a spell that will prevent the young from reading them? What is the point of those ratings anyway, who in Teyvat listens to them and why- ?"
"Enough is enough, Ororon! What could have possibly propelled you to discuss any of this with your own grandmother?! And for Archons' sake, if you claim innocence by saying you saw these on my bed I WILL throw you AND your vegetables out-!"
"Okay, okay.." Throwing his hands up in the air, Ororon feigned abandoning all the questions that plagued his curiosity. In truth, what actually transpired was a second long instance of presumably giving up on all the inappropriate questions he was about to torture his Granny with for this particular evening. And then, out of nowhere, a second round of questions saw the dawn as if nothing just happened.
"But why is the protagonist made so dense? Even I would notice some of the signs if they were thrown in my face just like that.."
"Heh, you? Don’t make me laugh Ororon, Granny has seen enough of either your denseness or simple disinterest towards many tribe girls! The thing about many of those light novels is overusing the same tropes that people never really seem to tire from to spark some feelings and get them to read further. It's all brainless stuff made to pass time anyway, because for all your shortness of a lifetime you mortals are always adamant about wasting as much time as possible! Wait, why are we still talking about this anyway?" Granny Itzli grumbled as she changed her sitting position for the umpteenth time, sighing. " Don't you have companions you could talk to about this? That Ifa seems to enjoy your company so maybe bother him about all the novels you're curious about for a change. There is many stuff in there I could actually smack you for asking, you know?"
Ororon, completely still on his seat, pondered on the statement as if he didn't do so at least a hundred times today. Ifa was his dearest bro, the man who introduced him to a whole new set of phrases and one of the only people who seemed to intimately understand him. This particular conversation between two guys such as them wouldn't really be considered weird, but Ororon still had his reservations about the matter because a) Those novels were rated M for a reason, hence Granny's refusal to approach them deeper with Ororon, b) When it came to light novels, even the simple trope discussion could slip down the spiral and they would, uh, be discussing something entirely different like the various positions carefully described in them and what kind of cringy descriptions of noises the characters make during-
And c) Ororon never really had these types of conversations before, not with his peers at least. Someone once reluctantly sat him down and explained the birds and the bees, and he did read some of these novels, despite their many logical inaccuracies he was adamant about discussing.
Still, conversing with Ifa about this really shouldn't pose any problem because they just seemed close like that. And yet, Ororon found himself giddy and nervous just thinking about it. Maybe it wasn't so much as the matter of conversation as it was the person he was conversing with-
"Why are you so red? Ugh, stop thinking about whatever you're thinking about, it's really not that deep." Yeah, Ororon should stop overthinking about whatever he's overthinking about because it isn't that deep and having this conversation with Ifa is completely normal. Just two guys, two friends, two bros talking about various topics concerning sexual intimacy. They may not even go down that spiral, thought Ororon, ignoring the small inkling of disappointment bubbling up at the thought of missing Ifa's view on these things.
"It's getting late. I should probably go home. Thanks, granny. See ya." He abruptly stood up and headed out, suddenly deciding this matter isn't worth overthinking about.
"Close the door behind you, dummy. And find yourself a partner!"
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"Hey, bro? Have you ever read any of those adult light novels? Like, popular Inazuman "I got reborn as Raiden Shogun" type' shit…
"Huh? What brought this on?" Ifa gets surprised by this sudden inquiry for merely a second before getting back to his guitar, long fingers experimentally ghosting over the strings. "Well, if you ask me, these have too many overused tropes for my tastes. Like, I got reborn as this or the chronicles of that.. I don't read much of that, but there is always something at the market."
"I always trip over these while I'm at Granny's, so I wondered what the deal was with them..It's actually more interesting to read than whatever scrolls The Masters of the Night Wind have at their disposal. Not as carefully written and dully described, but I guess they don't need to be that way-"
"Wait, what? Granny Itzli reads those?" With a snort, Ororon gets rewarded with Ifa's undivided attention, his lazy eyes slightly wide with disbelief. "Yoo, didn't know she was that freaky…" He winked, a grin forming on his face.
"Broo, that's my grandmaa…" Ororon regards him with a deadpan expression, earning a little chuckle from Ifa. They descend into comfortable silence, Ifa's attention back to his guitar. Ororon finds this a little disappointing so he gets bold and picks the conversation up.
"But, yeah, them novels do get kind of freaky, don't they?" He adds, with a breathy little chuckle, attempting to dislodge nervousness quickly forming in his stomach.
And at that, Ifa looks up again, the most curious expression coating his face, and Ororon can't help but notice the little shine of mischief in his sea green eyes.
"And what do you know about freaky, Ororon?" he asks, voice teasing yet somehow curious at the same time.
And perhaps these little moments of tension between them are all Ororon wishes for sometimes, for reasons unknown. The moment of silence as Ororon regards Ifa back, thinking of an answer, is golden for him.
"Come onn.." he says with a little pout, straightening his back. " I am, like, twenty. Of course a man my age would know about this stuff, no matter how stand-offish I may seem."
"No way, bro!" Cacucu chirps at that, also seemingly surprised at the concept of Ororon getting a proper sex education. And yet Ifa stays focused on Ororon, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
"Oh yeah? And I suppose you've also read the freaky bits of these books with full attention, yeah?" teases Ifa, face propped on his hand and guitar promptly discarded. Ororon is beginning to think that this might just be too much for his poor half-soul to handle.
"Heh, just kidding. I suppose even the shamans from your tribe occupy their free time somehow." He adds with a knowing smile.
Ororon didn't want the conversation to lull at this either. So without a second thought or consideration for his well-being he began scrambling his brain for whatever information he had left regarding this subject.
" I just find it funny how they always bite their lips and growl without any apparent reason except for uh, the tension, I guess. I have never seen a living person biting their lip for this reason." He quickly added, hoping this is going to earn him at least some kind of reaction.
" Well you see bro, these are exaggerated signs unless you're a saurian or any other kind of animal, I suppose. But horny folks kinda like some of this, I s'ppose. When a girl shows interest, she.. well, she usually goes kind of like this." Suddenly, he props himself and slowly walks towards Ororon, hands clasped behind his back and a strange look on his face.
Then Ifa stops in front of a gawking Ororon and waves cutely, attempting to imitate a nervous girl and says " Heey.." with what seems to be his best expression of a womanly voice. However, his voice cracks and he gives up the act to start laughing at himself.
Ororon joins quickly after. "What the hell bro, that is the worst impression of a woman I've ever seen." Looking up, he sees Ifa struggling not to laugh while biting his lower lip. Immediately following, Ororon stands up and starts growling at Ifa like an idiot until they both burst out laughing. Cacucu, not giving any signs it's following what the two are on about, has enough sense to fly off on a nearby branch.
As if this wasn't enough excitement for one night, Ifa finds it proper to casually add " Hey, if you need any advise regarding girls, just let your bro Ifa handle it."
"So, you have experience?" Ororon blurts out suddenly, as if this is the culmination he has been waiting for. As if he doesn't know how many girls approached ever handsome vet in the last month alone. He does not know why he needs a verbal confirmation from Ifa himself, and he does not know the limit of his running mouth.
Ifa regards him for a beat, teal eyes dissecting him like a frog in a curious attempt to dislodge just what is going on inside Ororon's head this time. Ororon thinks he's overstepped some boundaries and the feeling in his stomach is no longer pleasant.
"Heve you met someone?" he asks curiously, and Ororon wants to think his voice sounded way more disappointed than it maybe did.
" No way, bro." He shakes his head, smiling.
"Then why do you ask?" wonders Ifa's curious voice and they come to a moment he's been dreading. Ororon curses his curiosity and impatience, because he simply does not know why he asked. And if he did, would he be as honest as he always is towards Ifa? Or would he stand there like an idiot and stare as he does right now?
"Huh, now I don't know what to say." Ifa scratches his head, a slight blush coating his cheeks." To be totally honest with you bro, yes, I have had these kinds of interactions and more. I wouldn't mind filling you in since you're my bro, but I'm feeling too sleepy for that right now."
"Sorry if I overstepped any boundaries." mutters Ororon, shifting from one leg to another.
" Oh come on, I was just curious as to why you would pursue this matter, but I guess I am the guy to come to if you find yourself at a crossroads. No boundaries were overstepped, but I do find myself wondering just what is going on inside that head of yours sometimes."
" You're probably the only one who came the closest to solving that mystery, trust me." These words come easily to Ororon, as they are undeniably true in his head. He isn't sure if he wants Ifa closer or farther, and he takes it as a sign that Ifa is just at the right distance. Heart calming, he meets Ifa's gaze after some looking at the ground.
"Dude… you're lowkey a such a rizzler..Do me a favor and close your eyes bro.." He closes his eyes way too fast, heart rate picking up. What does rizzler mean again?
"What do you see?" Ifa's sweet voice almost lulls him to sleep while standing, and he answers mindlessly.
"Nothing.."
"That's my world without you, bro."