Chapter Text
“Why don’t we start with breakfast and take the rest as it comes?”
“Alright by me, Pard.”
-Laramie-
Jess sipped his coffee. The air outside was warm and thick, even by July standards, and the air inside the kitchen was uncomfortably still. Hot coffee might have sounded unappealing to most folks, but Jess savored it regardless.
Growing up, he’d always liked the smell of coffee. He’d started to develop a taste for it early in the war, when the air was cold and the nights were long. As soon as his sentinel senses had developed, though, he’d had to give it up. The taste was just too bitter and overpowering for him to enjoy it. For most of his adult life, he’d had to settle for just holding the warm cup in his hand when it was offered. Actually dinking the stuff was a luxury he’d long since given up on, no more than a distant memory.
Now, though…
Now, for the first time in years, he was free to enjoy it again.
Thanks to Slim, his mind whispered. Jess pushed the thought away with another sip. He sighed.
It was even better than he remembered.
The coffee was good, an unexpected bright point to finding his guide, but it did little to unwind the tight knot sitting in Jess’s chest most days.
Things had seemed so clear when the chips were down and the bullets were flying. Even afterward, nestled in the peaceful stillness of the pre-dawn hours, offering to stay was the only option Jess considered. Leaving hadn’t even crossed his mind.
His blind trust and acceptance had had absolutely nothing to do with waking up wrapped in the other man’s arms, let alone in his bed, blissfully free of the headaches and discomfort he’d spent years dealing with. Jess put a lot of effort into not thinking about the bed part.
Regardless of how it had happened, the true reality of what he’d agreed to took a while to sink in.
-Laramie-
The first several days were easy. Jess was barely strong enough to get out of bed, let alone make tracks to anywhere. Andy, to no one’s surprise, had immediately appointed himself Jess’s personal errand-boy and human crutch. After seeing how excited the boy was about helping, Jess accepted with good grace. Andy was just a kid, after all, and Jess figured he’d put in enough effort rounding up the Carlin gang to earn a little hospitality.
A man named Zach McCord, who was apparently the local sheriff, came out to join the group not long after breakfast the morning following the ordeal. He and the other lawman, who turned out to be a sheriff out of Cheyenne in town to help with the gang, took their statements. Even on that first day, Jess wasn’t so weak that he missed the sidelong glances from the two strangers. They’d either seen the posters and knew who he was, or they’d just been around long enough to recognize a gunfighter when they saw one. Either way, Jess didn’t hold it against them. Wariness like that kept lawmen like them alive. Jess just lay there in his borrowed shirt and met their distrust head-on. He answered their questions and signed the paper at the bottom. Neither one of them asked where he was from, where he’d worked, if he’d done time, or any of the other usual things. They kept their suspicions to themselves, and while it was unexpected, Jess found himself appreciating the benefit-of-the-doubt. If their lack of probing questions had anything to do with Slim’s imposing shadow and crossed arms… Well, Jess wasn’t about to mention it. The two lawmen rode back town along with the judge, and that was that. The whole thing was over by noon.
Stages came, stages went; the sun rose, and the sun set. Little by little, Jess started to feel more like himself.
The next few weeks were easy, too. As Jess’s shoulder healed, he started helping Andy and Jonesy with the house and barn chores, partly to earn his keep and partly to remedy his restless boredom. Slim was hardly around during that time. Apparently, a few drivers and shotguns had quit after everything was reported in the paper, and Slim, being local, was asked to help with hiring. The task required him to spend several nights in town recruiting and vetting potential hires. When he was at the ranch, he was gone by daybreak and home well after the sun had set.
Jess didn’t miss him. Afterall, how could you miss someone you barely knew?
Jess also didn’t track Slim’s heartbeat out of reflex anytime he came near the ranch, and he absolutely did not feel his own heartrate tick up in response to Slim’s closeness.
After a month at the ranch, Jonesy handed Jess a folded paper along with his breakfast plate. “Slim had to leave early this morning,” he explained, “but he wanted you to look this over. Official agreements help keep the books tidy. Just make note of any questions or changes and he’ll be back to talk it over with you tomorrow.” With that, Jonesy turned back to the stove.
Jess carefully unfolded the sheet and took in Slim’s carefully slanted writing. A contract. It was a pretty basic thing, stating that the Sherman Ranch would pay Jess $30 each month in cash, along with room, board, and care of his mount. If he chose to leave in the middle of a month, he’d be guaranteed a percentage of that month’s pay. Standard practice, Jess thought to himself.
Scrawled at the very bottom, Slim had written, “Start when you’re healed up,” although Jess noted the date written at the top was the very first day Jess had arrived at the ranch. Jess didn’t consider himself any kind of scholar, let alone an expert on contracts, but the message was clear: Slim was offering to pay him, even while he wasn’t working.
Interesting. Most employers weren’t so generous, but then again, most employees didn’t get shot helping the boss before they were even hired.
Aside from the dates, the contract was straightforward and no different than any Jess had seen before. With no questions to ask, Jess simply signed the paper and left it on the little desk in the corner for Slim to do the same. The next morning, the paper was gone, and Slim never brought it up.
Slim being away so often spared Jess from figuring out just what exactly he was supposed to say to the man who’d not only taken him in and hired him, but was also his bonded guide. His stomach flipped over anytime the phrase popped into his thoughts. Jess only had a vague idea of what that was supposed to mean. The lack of headaches or zones was a welcome change to say the least, but he had no idea what Slim might want or expect from him. His experience with guides was admittedly limited. Recent interactions, though, had taught him just how cunning and manipulative guides could be.
At first, when he noted the complete lack of anyone else’s presence in his mind, Jess was relieved. He’d been braced for some kind of interference or influencing from the get-go, but Slim seemed to be keeping his guide tendencies to himself. Whether the man was simply too busy to meddle with Jess’s mind or if he was intentionally keeping his distance, Jess was left to heal and consider his new situation in relative privacy. As time went on, though, Jess found his thoughts drifting back to that whirlwind of raw emotion and power he’d felt when they’d first met, or the quiet calm and warm reassurance he’d felt after he’d first woken up at the ranch. He missed those feelings, Slim’s feelings, in a way he hadn’t even known was possible. If he leaned into it too much, missing it slipped dangerously close to craving it, and Jess wasn’t nearly ready for that. Not by a long shot. The whole thing made him feel restless and on-edge.
When that restlessness only faded after Slim came in at night and Jess lay in his bunk, listening to the soft sounds of the other man settling down for the evening… That got added to the long list of things that Jess Harper was Not Thinking About.
Jess did his best to put it out of his mind and focus on the tasks he was able to help with, but the feeling of not knowing what Slim truly wanted still grated on his nerves. All Slim seemed to want at the moment was a reliable hired hand, and as long as that was the case, Jess would do his best to fill that role.
On laundry day, Andy helped Jess strip the sheets off each bed while Jonesy prepared the water. Once they’d hunted down and drowned every dirty scrap of fabric in the house, they shelled peas in the sunshine until things were dry. If a few peas were covertly flicked in Jonesy’s direction that afternoon, neither Jess nor Andy would admit to knowing anything about it.
“This is usually Slim’s bed,” Andy said off-handedly as they tucked the clean sheets around the mattress where Jess himself had been sleeping. Jess’s stomach flipped over, remembering the first time he’d woken up there. Looking back, of course it was Slim’s bed. Even now, after the sheets had been scrubbed to within an inch of their lives, Jess could still pick up the soft scents he’d come to associate with Slim ingrained in the mattress and pillow. He closed his eyes and held in a sigh. Jess hadn’t meant to steal the man’s bed!
“And this one is mine,” Andy continued, oblivious to Jess’s internal struggle as he pointed to the other stand-alone bunk, “but you can have it until you’re feeling better. I don’t mind the top bunk!”
Jess considered the offer as he rolled his shoulder around, loosening up the healing muscles. “I appreciate that, Andy,” he said, tossing the pillow, Slim’s pillow, back into place, “but I think I’m well enough. Probably time I move out to the bunk house, wouldn’t you say?”
He and Slim may be bonded, whatever that meant, but he was still a hired hand. Hired hands slept in the bunk house, if there was one, or the barn if there wasn’t. They definitely didn’t sleep in the house with the family once they were healed up enough to be on their own.
Andy, apparently, hadn’t been taught the same.
“Aw, Jess, you don’t wanna sleep out there, do ya?” the boy asked. “That roof leaks when it rains, I know it’s been dry lately, but the weather won’t hold forever, and then you’ll be soaked!”
Jess just shrugged. “I slept in worse spots,” he said, which did nothing to wipe the incredulous look off of Andy’s face. “’Sides,” he said, trying again, “we could have that roof patched in no time, now that I’m up to swinging a hammer.”
Andy still didn’t look convinced but didn’t push the matter as Jonesy called for their help in the kitchen.
-Laramie-
Jess held his spoon carefully as he ate his portion of mulligan stew. He flat out refused to show any tension or nerves. None of it was warranted in the slightest.
He ain’t the king of England, Jess chided himself, He’s just your boss. You’ve had dinner with bosses before. Get ahold of yourself, Harper.
His internal mantra did very little to distract him from the man in question, sitting at the head of the table and directly to Jess’s left. Slim had made it home in time for dinner for the first time in quite a while, settling in with the sigh of a man truly worn out. Jess could see the exhaustion in the slope of his shoulders, but he also carried an air of satisfaction that was hard to miss. The seemingly ever-present tension around Slim’s blue eyes had faded away. If Jess knew him better, he’d almost say Slim looked relaxed.
Slim’s gaze cut over to Jess, who promptly looked down at his bowl and did his best to pretend he hadn’t just been caught staring. His sensitive ears didn’t miss Slim’s soft huff of amusement. Unsure of how to interpret that, Jess filed it away for later. Much later.
“Finally get things settled in town?” Jonesy asked, tucking into his own bowl.
At the edge of his vision, Jess saw Slim nod. “Signed on the last driver today, and you’ll never guess who it is,” he said, the smile clear in his voice.
“Who is it?” Andy piped up, directly across from Jess.
“You’ll have to guess.”
“Aw, c’mon Slim, you gotta give me at least one hint, otherwise it’s no fair!”
“Where’s he from?” Jonesy asked, helping Andy’s case.
Slim hummed as he chewed. “Honestly, I’m not even sure. All over the place, I ‘spose, but Cheyenne most recently. Soon to be Laramie full time.”
Andy proceeded to guess a string of names that meant nothing to Jess, while Slim shot them down one-by-one. When Andy started begging for another hint, Slim just laughed.
Jess loved that sound. The easygoing banter at the table had the stress melting out of his muscles, and he hoped no one noticed the lazy blink he couldn’t help. Although he was sitting at the table quietly eating his dinner while the family chatted, inside he felt like a barn cat curled up in the sun.
Finally, Slim revealed the mysterious new driver to be someone called Mose, much to Andy and Jonesy’s delight. Jess made a mental note to look out for him once he started his runs.
“Enough about stage-line business. How were things here?” Slim asked, handing the conversation over to Andy. Not one to miss his chance, Andy ran with it. He chattered on about the morning chores, the garden, the laundry… Jess let his voice flow over him, feeling himself get lost in the peaceful atmosphere as Jonesy set a slice of apple pie down in front of him. He was only half-listening to the words Andy was saying as he moved on from daily updates to his plans for tomorrow, listening to the tone and cadence rather than the meaning,
All at once, Jess’s warm, peaceful evening was shattered as feelings of dread and icy panic slid down his spine like a bucket of cold water. He was so shocked, he nearly inhaled the bite of pie he’d just taken.
His eyes watering as he coughed, Jess looked up and caught a fleeting glimpse of Slim’s stricken expression before it was quickly shuttered. The ice-cold feelings stopped immediately, leaving Jess even more confused as he glanced around the table for clues as to what had just happened. Andy’s brown eyes were wide with concern while Jonesy deftly handed Jess his water glass. He took it gratefully. As he sipped, he wracked his brain, replaying Andy’s most recent words in his mind, processing their meaning: “Tomorrow I figure I’ll be busy helpin’ Jess, even though I said he didn’t have to, he said it’s time he moved out…”
Ah.
“Bunkhouse,” Jess rasped, coughing again as he cleared his throat. He looked over at Slim, noting the soft pink blush starting to creep up his neck. Jess was sure he was imagining it, but he swore he could feel the heat from where he sat. “I told Andy I should be moving out to the bunkhouse.”
Slim blinked down at his half-eaten pie, before nodding once. “Fine by me,” he said, not making eye contact. “I better check on the horses,” he muttered, pushing away from the table. He stood up, walked out the front door, and closed it behind him. The faint sound of his boots on the hard-packed dirt of the yard tacked away from the house, in precisely the opposite direction of the barn.
The three inside the house were still. The only sound was the tick of the wall clock until Jonesy was brave enough to break the silence.
“Andy, why don’t you go make sure the harnesses are hung up and ready for tomorrow,” he said, his voice gentle.
Andy swung his head around, his eyes widening. “But Slim said…”
“He ain’t headed to the barn and you know it,” Jonesy answered, firmer this time. “Go on, he’ll come in when he’s ready. He’ll be fine. Jess and I’ll handle the dishes tonight.”
When Andy glanced back at Jess, he gave the boy a nod. I’ll be fine, too, he tried to say. Without another word, Andy drug his boots out the side door and closed it softly behind him.
He and Jonesy stood together, gathering the plates. Jess left Slim’s pie where it was.
Jonesy washed and Jess dried. It wasn’t until Jess put the last saucer in its stack that Jonesy cleared his throat.
“He doesn’t even know he’s doing it, most of the time,” Jonesy offered, his gaze still focused out the window into the fading evening light. Jess stayed quiet, listening. “He’s always been talented. From the very beginning, we knew he was a strong guide. He could project his feelings before anyone even told him what it was. He learned to control it over the years, of course, but once in a while he can’t help it. It’s in his nature, and no one can be on their guard all the time,” Jonesy said, glancing over at Jess this time. Jess nodded along. The stress of trying to be in control all the time was something Jess intimately understood. Jonesy looked back out the window for a beat before continuing. “He cares about people, you know. When the work is finally done for the day and everyone under his roof is well, happy, and fed, he can’t help but relax. His care and satisfaction just tend to seep out, and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.”
Like a cat curled up in the sunshine, Jess reflected. He nodded again in understanding as the pieces clicked together.
“I figure it’s even stronger for you. And I know the two of you haven’t talked much, and maybe that’s my fault for not pinnin’ that boy down long enough to say more than three words,” Jonesy said with a wry smile, tossing another glance Jess’s way, “but he does want you here. He may not know how to say it yet, but I’ve known that boy his whole life. Having you here has helped him more than anything else in a long, long time.”
Jess’s throat felt tight. He flexed his jaw and looked down at his hands. His knuckles were white where they braced him against the countertop. He consciously relaxed, watching the white fade back to tan.
“Helps me, too,” Jess admitted quietly, almost to himself. Jonesy just nodded in understanding, not pressing for more.
Jess lifted his head as outside, he heard the barn door close and Andy start to make his way back toward the house. Jonesy saw the movement and understood their privacy was coming to a close.
“Anyhow. Help me build up the fire, would ya, Jess? Don’t need anyone catching a chill tonight,” he said, his standard gruffness slipping back into his words.
“Sure thing,” Jess said with a smile, clapping a hand on Jonesy’s shoulder. Can’t have anyone stumbling in in the dark, more like, he thought, but he kept it to himself.
As he made his way to the tinderbox, he glanced over at the abandoned plate on the table, a plan taking shape in his mind.