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Kim Dokja had a new tactic for getting out of things. No, it wasn't sacrificing himself. That would be a good thing if this new tactic wasn't so... embarrassing. For everyone else around him, at least.
A scenario notification appeared in the middle of lunch at all times. Everyone sighed. They sighed louder when they saw who it was about.
Main Scenario
Clear condition: Incarnation Kim Dokja jump into a fucking volcano
Failure: Death
Reward: None, fuck you
The group stared at the man in question, who didn't look too bothered. He simply stood up and fished something out of his pocket, a small hair clip that had a pink bow attached. He clipped it to the side of his hair, then looked to the sky with his massive void eyes.
"Do I have too? I-I'm just a little guy 🥺👉👈"
The table erupted into a series of groans. The only person who found it entertaining was Lee Jihye, who wasn't bored of it despite the amount of times he pulled that trick. What's more annoying was that it always worked.
[Constellation Demon-Like Judge of Fire is squealing in excitement]
[Constellation Queen of the Darkest Spring agrees that he is the littlest guy]
[Constellation Secretive Plotter firmly states he hates this]
[Constellation Demon-Like Judge of Fire declares that 1 coin= 1 head pat for incarnation Kim Dokja]
[Constellation Secretive Plotter donated 100000000000 coins]
[Constellation Secretive Plotter says his finger slipped]
The scenario window remained, so Kim Dokja threw in a pout with flushed, puffed out cheeks.
"Pwease? I don't wanna do it I'm so eepy..."
Han Sooyoung slammed the table and walked out the room from the amount of second-hand embarrassment. "I'm pushing you into that volcano after this!"
"You're acting like a fool," Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled, annoyed by the display.
Kim Dokja titled his head and fluttered his long lashes. "That's so mean... you're so mean to me Hyukie..."
[Constellation Demon-Like Judge of Fire is demanding incarnation Yoo Joonghyuk to apologise]
[Constellation Demon-Like Judge of Fire sent 1000 coins to her "blorbo bias Dowokja"]
Yoo Joonghyuk had his head in his hands. He didn't know if he could take much more of this. Shin Yoosung was on her tip toes, trying to add more ribbons to his hair. Lee Gilyoung was trying to copy him because he copied everything Kim Dokja did but Yoo Sangah was desperately trying to stop him by holding him tightly into a restraining hug.
"Kids don't follow in my footsteps." He said quickly before lying down and swinging his legs in the air, leaning his squished face on his hands, with arms propped up by the elbows against the floor. "I don't wanna jump in a volcano... it'll hurt..." he said in a pathetic puppy voice.
"You're fucking almost 30," Yoo Joonghyuk complained, exasperated.
Kim Dokja blinked his eyes a bit, trying to gather some subtle tears.
"Can't I do anything else instead? Pweaseeeee?"
He read some notifications of alternate suggestions then quickly rushed up to cover both of his kid's eyes.
"Ok not ANYTHING anything."
He read through more suggestions and gathered that the scenario can be withdrawn if Yoo Joonghyuk was convinced to hug him. He looked at him, intently.
"No."
Kim Dokja huffed and stormed over to him. "Do you want me to die?!"
"After everything you forced me to witness, yes."
"Oh come on it's not even that insane of a request! You're acting like they asked you to wear a maid outfit."
He glared at him so Kim Dokja decided to change his tactic.
"Please? I'll let you punch me as hard as you want afterwards?"
"No!" The kids cried out in worry.
They rushed in front of him protectively, glaring daggers at Yoo Joonghyuk, who simply stared at them blankly.
"It's better than the volcano..." he coaxed, trying to calm the children.
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at him then sighed. He supposed he didn't really want Kim Dokja to burn to death. Getting up, he stretched out his arms with an embarrassed look on his face. Kim Dokja tried not to smile, tried not to make it seem like he wanted this. He walked over and fell into the other’s arms, embracing him. Lee Jihye let out some childish giggles while the children stared at the display as if it was the most horrific thing they’ve witnessed. The room turned dim again once the scenario window deactivated disappeared.
They pulled away, staring at each other with equally flushed faces.
[Constellation Demon-Like Judge of Fire has stopped working]
[Constellation Demon-Like Judge of Fire has spammed the coin button so many it times it’s broken]
[Constellation Secretive Plotter jumped into a volcano while yelling “IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME”]
Kim Dokja coughed and moved away. He removed the hair clips and began speaking in a normal voice again.
“So, who finished their vegetables like I’ve asked?” He said to the kids.
“I finished all of mine!” Shin Yoosung said proudly.
Lee Gilyoung smiled because he threw some of his onto her plate. “Me too!”
He patted their heads with a smile. Yoo Joonghyuk watched, wondering how the man could shamelessly become an entirely new person in front of thousands of eyes.
“Little guy more like little shit,” he muttered, loud enough for the other to hear.
Kim Dokja could’ve been the bigger man and walked away. Except, he wasn’t a big man. He was a little guy. So he turned back and gave the taller the saddest, puppy eyes he could muster.
“Noooo I’m sensitive uwu….” he mumbled.
Yoo Joonghyuk scowled and that was the only warning before he chased him around the room.
“I WILL THROW YOU INTO A VOLCANO.” He yelled, pinning him to the wall with his sword.
No one helped Kim Dokja, and the group just continued with lunch as the totally-not-dating-just-companions-only-no-homo duo fought to death behind them.