Archive of Our Own ^beta

Her stomach rumbles and she bites her lower lip in anger. The young girl brings the eraser tip of her pencil into her mouth and chews on it. Ever since she entered second grade her grandma decided it was time for Nobara to start making her own lunches. Most grade schools have cafeterias, providing lunches to all the students. Nobara was never that lucky. The village is so small, their school teaches grade school to high school; with small areas separated in an effort to keep the grade schoolers away from the junior and high schoolers. With such limited staff it was expected that all students bring their own lunch. 

Most of Nobara’s peers had meals made by one of their parents; the one time she complained to her grandma it was unfair the old woman started going off about how coddled Nobara’s classmates were. She grits her teeth when her stomach rumbles again, her teeth digging into the wood of the pencil. 

It’s embarrassing; she’s certain her class of seven students can hear all the obnoxious sounds her stomach is making while they are supposed to be working on math problems. Whatever, she’ll just punch whoever makes a rude comment to her.

She’s not a good cook; she’s only eight, after all. She always ends up burning rice when she makes it or nearly cutting one of her little fingers off when she’s dicing vegetables. Her grandma would make snide remarks that she needs to get better if she ever wants to survive, or get a husband. That last part always makes her gag. Boys are so gross. 

Of course then her grandma would start yammering about how she better find a man when she gets older, so as to not end up unwed like her mother. The same mother who ran off and abandoned her. Even at her young age that didn’t seem right to her. Would being married really have stopped her mom?

The bell rings pulling Nobara out of her thoughts. She’s going to have to bear with her hunger until the end of the day. She watches with a pout as her classmates pull out their bento boxes, smells of various foods hitting her all at once.

Nobara forgetting to make lunch or just making something inedible was a common occurrence. She wasn’t used to this new schedule of having to prepare food for herself. Most days she was lucky; Saori would take pity on her and always make her a bento box, ever since she saw the little girl go to school without lunch a few months ago. However her luck dried up with the fact Saori was out of town, visiting the big city. At the very least Saori will bring her back some goodies to snack on. 

She huffs quietly to herself, her little fists balled. This stinks.

“Nobara-chan?” 

She perks up at the sound of Fumi’s voice. 

“Fumiiiiii.” Nobara groans out.

Her best friend pouts at her. “You don’t have lunch today, do you?”

“How’d you—” 

Her stomach growls again, making her blush in embarrassment. It’s fairly obvious, if her stomach didn’t growl she is the only one out of the seven without a bento. But Fumi is always so kind, she doesn’t laugh or tease Nobara, she averts her big round eyes and slides her bento box on to Nobara’s desk.

“Do you want some of mine?”

Her amber eyes go wide, and she frantically nods.

“I’m starving!”

Fumi pops open the lid of her bento. The rice spread is decorated to look like My Melody, she was after all the most popular Sanrio character that year, having finally taken the crown from Hello Kitty. Nobara’s not sure she agrees with the ranking, who doesn’t love cats after all? But the pink is cute, a year or so ago she’d scoff at pink characters, except for Kirby. Pink always felt too girly for her, she didn’t like the ties it had to girls and womanhood, that everyone expected her to wear pink. Red just seemed so much cooler to her; that was the color of her favorite Sentai ranger as well. When Nobara learned that Saori’s favorite color was pink she slowly started to change her mind, maybe it was okay to like something despite the roles everyone else assigned it. Pink was just a color after all.

It almost looks too good to eat. There are little sausages cut into octopi, with heart-shaped skewers to easily pick them up, a mix of broccoli and carrots cut into intricate shapes, and some tamagoyaki. Nobara looks back up at Fumi, as much as she wants to dive right in, she won’t do that to her friend. Her friend who’s supplying her with food when she has none.

“Fancy.” Nobara comments letting out a little whistle of approval.

“Papa says lunch is more tasty when it looks fun.” Fumi giggles. Nobara grins, Fumi’s dad was always so cool. He played lots of video games, always let Nobara try out his game systems, and made ridiculously good bento boxes. 

“I only have one set of chopsticks.” Fumi says with a little frown. “We can take turns?” She suggests starting to break up the rice art to eat. 

“Well okay.” Nobara shrugs, she’s not worried about getting cooties from Fumi. She reaches out and takes an octopus by the skewer, opening her mouth ready to pop it in. The short girl cracks an eye open, watching Fumi, making sure the other approves of her action before finally chomping into the sausage. 

It’s tasty and Nobara sings praises that Fumi is so lucky to have a father that enjoys cooking.

“Saori-chan is in Tokyo.” Nobara begins with a mouthful of rice. She gulps it down before continuing. “She usually makes me lunch…and I forgot.”

Fumi nods, but she doesn’t say much. That’s how the two of them are. Fumi is more shy and reserved than Nobara who had a knack for getting into trouble for either being too loud or starting a fight with one of the boys in class. Despite their differences Nobara wouldn’t change a thing. 

Sometimes Fumi would get picked on because she doesn’t talk as much as the other kids, or because her accent made her sound different from the rest of them. It makes Nobara feel a sense of rage, that they target someone who hasn’t done anything. Why target the nice girl when they could target the kid that keeps leaving chalkboard erasers on top of doors, so whoever swings the door open gets smacked in the head with it?

She doesn’t understand the others. She probably never will. They whisper cruel things about Saori, the adults more often than the kids. Talks of how her type is corrupting the youth around her, that Nobara and Fumi are too impressionable to be around a deviant like her. 

Which is just stupid to her. Saori taught her things that most girls her age already knew from their mothers or older sisters. How in the world was Saori corrupting her? She only got decent at french braiding because Saori taught her how to and Fumi was always a willing subject. Is it because Saori is dating on the internet? Or is it because the person Saori is always sending instant messages to is another woman? Nobara has a sinking feeling it’s the latter.

Fumi looks down at the ground and speaks in her quiet voice. “I hope Saori-chan comes back soon.”

“Me too.” Nobara nods. “You’re the only other cool person here.”

The rest of the day drags on but at least Nobara has been fed. She has more classwork, physical education turns into her getting scolded by the teacher for punching one of the boys again; it’s a common occurrence. Finally the bell rings, dismissing class for the rest of the day.

All the students need to clean up. Fumi gets a broom and begins sweeping up any dust. 

“Alright I’m going to need someone strong to help move all these chairs!” Their teacher calls out. She scans across the room looking for volunteers.

“Me! Me! Me!” Nobara cries out raising both of her hands and jumping. Her teacher passes over her and picks out one of the boys instead. Satoshi Tanaka was picked instead; he routinely picked on Fumi and Nobara.

Nobara huffs in anger, stomping off to grab supplies to wipe the windows down. Her teacher never picks her for chair duty. It’s annoying, she can stack chairs just as good as any of the dumb boys. The teacher wanders off, most likely to the faculty room. He was probably convinced that a handful of eight year olds can behave themselves.

She decides to focus her rage into window wiping; probably wiping them down more aggressively than she needs to. Nobara’s almost too focused on her duty to not hear the commotion happening behind her. But she can pick out Fumi’s timid voice and the laughter of boys. She grits her teeth and turns around.

It’s almost as if her classmates can predict her moves, because the room is empty, Satoshi and his gaggle are nowhere to be seen. The chairs are also not stacked on their desks as they’re supposed to be. Nobara narrows her eyes.

“No-Nobara-chan.”

That gets her attention, she turns to where she hears Fumi’s voice. The poor girl was in the corner of the room, caged in by stacks of chairs. Fumi is sniffling, close to tears.

That bully… Satoshi and his croonies. They always strike when Nobara isn’t around or isn’t paying attention, because they know she will retaliate. 

She slaps the cloth down on the windowsill and stomps over to Fumi.

“Those pricks are gonna pay.” Nobara growls under her breath. She has a bit of a mouth on her for an eight year old; her grandma blames her mother for this. The woman never stuck around for long; Nobara hadn't seen her since she was six, and even before then that woman came and went as she pleased. Nobara’s mom swore like a sailor, she always smelled strongly of cigarettes, and she dressed in tops that her grandma called ‘whorish.’

Her grandma calls her a bad influence, even though it’s been two years. The village calls Saori a bad influence, and that girl is nothing like her mother.

She’s thought about trying to be kinder, like Saori, or Fumi… But both of them still get treated like dirt for being different. Nobara isn’t going to show her village kindness, but she will show it to Fumi and Saori.

There’s three columns of chairs stacked in front of Fumi, acting as a miniature prison. The center has four chairs stacked on top, and the sides flanking it have three chairs. Fumi has always been weaker than Nobara, the latter being a bit more of a jock, and the chairs are spaced together so close neither Fumi or Nobara could squeeze through the gaps.

Nobara lets out a grunt as she grabs the bottom of the center chair-column. “Hup!”

It’s not exactly easy, and she’s probably straining herself. She teeters on the ground, almost falling over, as she wobbles over to the windowsill, dropping the stack of chairs. It wouldn’t do her good if she was physically weak, her grandma has told her so time and time again. She can see them, the unseen spirits that wander and plague the village. It was around the same time her mother left that Nobara saw her first curse. Her grandma said it was normal, a good thing; that the ability to sense the unseen was passed down to her. She’s still too young to fight curses herself, according to her grandma, but she knows what her future will bring. 

“There!” She exclaims, clapping her hands together. “You’re free now.” Nobara states as she turns back to face Fumi. She doesn’t get the chance because the other girl crashes into her, hugging her with all her strength.

“Nobara-chan!” Fumi wails against her. Nobara awkwardly pats her on the back, she hates seeing Fumi upset. “Thank you.” The girl sniffles.

“Well what kind of friend would I be if I left you like that?” Nobara pouts, she really can’t entertain the thought.

Fumi hiccups in response. “You wouldn’t.”

“I gotta beat Tanaka up now.” Nobara sighs into Fumi’s embrace.

“You don’t have to do that…” Fumi mumbles. “You’re always playing hero, Nobara-chan.”

Nobara feels lips press against her forehead. It’s unexpected, yet at the same time it feels natural. She feels herself go red in the face and awkwardly clears her throat. She’s not sure how to handle affection like that. Her grandma rarely showed affection like that to her, she often got it from Saori instead. The older girl would often watch Nobara horse around and get hurt; Saori would clean up any cuts she got, get her a bandaid and kiss the spot better. This kiss, this display of affection, feels different. She’s not quite sure what to make of it… So into the vault it goes. Nobara will worry about it later.

Nobara thinks about it more often than she’d like to admit. It was almost a year ago and she can’t help but replay that moment in her head over and over again.

But that’s besides the point. Nobara mostly makes her own lunches now, Saori doesn’t come to school as much anymore. Nobara and Fumi are in third grade now, they’re on summer break, Nobara just turned nine only about two weeks ago. 

“I’m telling you there’s a bunch of cats around here! And they’re all strays!”

“I-I don’t know Nobara-chan… Papa said that they’re wild cats.”

“No they’re not.” Nobara replies with ease. “They don’t look like wildcats… look like regular ones.” She crouched down, peering in the bushes. 

“I don’t think they like people…” Fumi says quietly behind her. “Cat claws have germs…please be careful Nobara-chan.”

“Pfft…” Nobara blew her lips. “Germs, smerms… I’ll be fine.” Nobara waves Fumi off. She cocks her head to look at her friend. “Cats shouldn’t live outside.” She flashes her a grin before adding. “So I’m gonna catch one.”

Fumi gives her a meek nod. Nobara knows she’s not going to argue against her, not when her mind is set on this.

She peers into the bushes, making eye contact with a grey tabby that’s hunched down.

“Here kitty, kitty…pspspsps…” Nobara reaches her hand out, cooing gently at the cat.

The feline backs up response, but that doesn’t discourage Nobara. She reaches further into the foliage. There’s a hiss, a quick movement and a yelp of pain. Her own voice.

The cat had managed to swipe its claws at her open palm, slicing it open. 

“Ow…” Nobara whines. The tabby bolts as Nobara backs away and into Fumi’s legs.

“Did it get you?” Fumi asks, leaning down to examine Nobara’s wound.

“Ugh…” Nobara groans. “Yeah…”

“I tried to warn you…” Fumi lets out a little sigh before rummaging into her blue backpack. “How bad is it?” Fumi grabs Nobara’s wrist, pulling her hand closer.

“It’s fine.” Nobara lies. Fumi knows, because the girl had already pulled out a small first aid kit from her bag. It is nice that Fumi doesn’t make any comments when Nobara tries to play things off. 

“This will burn.” Fumi mumbles before spraying some type of antiseptic on the cut. Nobara winces and shuts her eyes. Fumi doesn’t tease her for it. She wipes at the cut and places a bandaid over it. “It’s a good thing we’re still on summer break.” She muses. “Imagine having to write with that.”

Nobara laughs weakly. “That hurts to think about.”

“Still burns even with the bandaid?” Her friend asks gently and Nobara nods.

Nobara is really not sure if she should ask this. She can just play it off as nothing; Saori does this for her all the time. So… If Fumi thinks it’s weird…then she’s the weird one. Yup that logic is solid. 

“Well… you could kiss it better?” 

Fumi blinks, her eyes flit downwards to her hands, which are fidgeting.

“Um…okay…” She brings Nobara’s palm up to her lips. Nobara blinks, she’s unable to look away from the act. Her heart is pounding, this feels different. This is so much different, her heart is racing in a way it never has before.

It’s probably nothing. She’ll file it away like the other moment.

She’s in fifth grade now, eleven years old. They’ll be heading into middle school soon. Not that it will change much, the biggest change is the uniform requirement, they’ll still be going to the same school with the same people.

Saori is gone. The ostracizing had gotten so bad that she and her family packed up and left right before Nobara started fourth grade.

It’s just her and Fumi now.

Well, right now it’s just her. Nobara was tasked with putting away their gym equipment today. She’s tossing various sports balls and jump ropes into a bin. She’s alone in the storage shed. It mostly hosts whatever PE equipment the school owns, various gardening tools for some reason, and banners that only get pulled out for school festivals.

She hears the sound of the door creaking open behind her. Maybe it’s Fumi, she could have gotten lonely waiting for her. Nobara turns around to see who’s entered the shed.

A boy. More specifically, Satoshi.

“What do you want?” Nobara growls at him and the boy smirks, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Why’re you always so moody?” He taunts. “You getting your period Kugisaki?”

“Get the hell out, before I make you.”

“You think you're so scary.” Satoshi mocks, stepping closer. Nobara nearly snarls at him, but the boy’s hands leave his pockets and slam into Nobara pushing her into the wall. She closes her eyes in pain, opening them to see Satoshi even closer to her face now.

“The hell?” She grunts.

And, to her horror, he puckers his lips and surges forward. Nobara’s eyes widen in a mix of fear and disgust. 

This cannot happen to her. She won’t let it. She pushes her head back as far as she can, which only makes Satoshi laugh, thinking it's a feeble attempt to pull away. She forces her head forward, smashing her forehead into Satoshi’s, knocking him back from her, all the way down to the ground.

“Ow…” Satoshi groans. “I was just trying to fix you!” He barks at her from below, glaring up at her.

“Stay away from me, and stay away from Fumi.” She trembles as she tells him. She won’t cry from this, she tells herself. She can’t tell if her shaking is fear or rage, right now it feels like a mix of the two. 

Then, she bolts. Nobara rips the shed door open and runs. She doesn’t bother heading back into the school to see Fumi, or to grab her book bag. She keeps running, her eyes sting, trying to hold back tears. 

She wants to turn right and take the path she knows will lead her to Saori’s house. Tell Saori what happened, cry to her, ask for help. But the house is empty, it’s been empty.

Nobara sniffles and turns to the direction her own home is.

“I’m home…” She says weakly as she opens the front door.

“Welcome back.” Her grandma’s voice calls from the living area. Nobara sighs, taking her shoes off and heading to the sound of her voice.

“It took you long enough.” Her grandma adds, looking her over. “There’s a grade four curse causing a ruckus, it’s time you work on your technique.”

This has become a recurring thing. She’s old enough to practice her jujutsu and train under her grandma, after school activities were curse hunting and perfecting her control of her cursed energy.

“Granny…” Nobara sighs, looking down at the floor.

“What’s wrong child?” She huffs as she asks. 

“I…” She swallows the lump in her throat and rubs her eyes. “Tanaka tried to…he tried to kiss me.” 

Her grandma’s good eye narrows. “And?”

“And I didn’t like it! He didn’t even ask! He just shoved his lips in my face!” 

“Hm…” 

“I don’t like him… I don’t like boys… I just—”

“You’re young.” Her grandma cuts her off. “In a few years you’d be happy a boy wanted to kiss you.”

“No…” Nobara shakes her head vehemently.

The old woman sighs. “Alright… Don’t worry about the curse…”

“Really?” Nobara asks, she sniffles as she does.

“Tomorrow you’ll take down two curses. Today… Well why don’t you see what Fumi is doing?”

It’s a deal Nobara can agree to. She’s feeling emotionally drained, and her grandma knows that won’t produce good results while trying to exorcise a curse. They don’t always see eye to eye on things, but at least she cares enough to let Nobara off the hook for the day.

Two years go by, Nobara is thirteen. The harassment doesn’t stop, it never stops. She thinks about that day from time to time. She doesn’t regret how she reacted.

That being said, now that she is a bit older, she can’t help but feel curious as to what it’s like to kiss someone. As long as it’s the right person, not someone that would force her, or someone she finds disgusting. All the boys living in the village are ugly, she decides, they aren’t worth her time. Their personalities are shit too.

She’s lying on Fumi’s floor, playing a mindless game on her phone. Her best friend is sitting against the bed, reading a book, perking up every once in a while whenever Nobara lets out a noise of aggravation at her game. 

Nobara finally sets her phone down with a sigh. It’s one of those games where you need to pay to keep playing and she knows her grandma will kill her if she paid for it. She stares at Fumi, who’s engrossed in her novel.

“Can I ask you something, Fumi?”

Fumi looks up from the pages and tilts her head. 

“Have you ever thought about getting a boyfriend?”

Nobara’s never brought up this type of conversation with Fumi before. The most they talked about relationships would have been years ago, conversing with a starry-eyed Saori who was telling the girls all about her internet girlfriend. The word ‘boyfriend’ leaving her mouth feels weird and unnatural.

Fumi practically jumps at the question, her nervous trembling starting up. “N-no… I…I don’t think about that.”

“Oh.” Nobara scrunches her face in thought. There’s a temptation to follow up with ‘What about a girlfriend instead?’ but deep down Nobara doesn’t want to know that answer. Actually… She doesn’t think she wants anyone dating Fumi, no one, especially in this village, deserves her.

“I was thinking… When I get out of this pit…” Nobara taps at her chin in thought. “I think I want to date. No one here can handle me.”

“I can’t really argue with that.” Fumi sighs out with a smile.

“But! That’s the problem!” Nobara exclaims. “I’m gonna be a total loser if I move to the city and have no experience! Who wants to date a girl who’s never been kissed?”

“Uh… I think most guys like that…actually.” Fumi says and Nobara shakes her head.

“No way. I need to at least know how to kiss someone properly.” Nobara crawls over to Fumi, watching the girl’s face turn beet red. “Let’s practice.”

“K-kissing?” Fumi stutters back and Nobara eagerly nods.

“Mhm! I wouldn’t dream of practicing that with any of the boys in the village.” Her face crinkles in disgust at the very idea; this should be fine to do with Fumi.

“Um…uh…okay…how should we?”

Nobara tilts her head in thought. “Um… Close your eyes.”

Her best friend’s eyes flutter closed, releasing a deep breath. Nobara slowly inches close until their noses are just about touching, until she can feel Fumi’s eyelashes graze her skin, and the warm air from Fumi’s nostrils as the girl tries to control her breathing. It’s cute, seeing her so nervous. Nobara smiles and then gently taps their lips together. 

It feels innocent, something she would never hear from the other villagers if they witnessed what was happening in Fumi’s room. Nobara has a good idea that what they’re doing is innocent; it’s barely a kiss. It feels like there’s an invisible barrier, keeping her from pursuing anything further. 

What if she ends up making Fumi uncomfortable? 

What if she ends up liking this too much? 

Those thoughts make her pull away. 

Fumi round eyes flutter open afterwards, her face pink.

“That…was nice.” She says softly. “Right?”

Nobara nods along, not really processing what she’s hearing. Her mind is full of thoughts and ideas, and she’s not sure she can handle it at the moment. 

“Uh-huh…”

She keeps a tight grip on Fumi’s clammy hand as she leads her into the field. The grass is high here, tickling their legs as the two girls wander into a clearing.

“Won’t your grandma get mad you snuck out?” Fumi questions her as they plop on to the ground.

“Won’t matter since I’ll be out of here tomorrow!” Nobara grins as she says it. She’s been walking on air for the last few weeks since she had finally gotten her grandma to cave and allow her to attend Jujutsu Technical High School in Tokyo.

She lays down and stares up at the night sky, the stars are bright and vast. “I have to admit, I’m going to miss the stars. But it will be worth it.”

Fumi’s body tenses against her. Her voice is quiet when she speaks up. “The light pollution was bad where I used to live…the smog too.”

“I’ll take smog over conservative dickweeds.” Nobara snorts in response. “I mean I get why your folks moved here. The air is better for your mom… But what shit village to choose.” Nobara huffs. It’s not unheard of for city folks to move out to the country for cleaner air quality. 

“W-we wouldn’t have met if they chose somewhere else.” Comes a bit of a shaky response. Nobara sighs and nudges Fumi’s shoulder, she doesn’t want Fumi to take her words in that way.

“I know… My life would suck if you weren’t in it.”

The other girl gives a small giggle. “Yeah… I feel the same way.”

They continue to gaze up at the night sky. It’s a beautiful summer night, the air for once isn’t too humid, there’s a cool breeze. It’s perfect.

Tomorrow her life will change. She’s escaping this hellhole, Nobara’s going to do everything she’s wanted to. She’ll have the freedom to go into the city, to shop, to discover new places, she’ll get to meet so many new people, maybe even become a model. She can start dating…

Those nagging thoughts that have bothered her for years come surging back to her. The shorter girl sighs to herself. 

She’s going to find a boyfriend in Tokyo. She’ll find a boyfriend and they’ll stay together.

She thinks of her future, one far away from the fifteen year old girl she is now. She’ll have a cute apartment in Shibuya, she’ll have a pet cat, her job as a sorcerer will be smooth sailing, she’ll find Saori… there’s just one little horrifying thought… waking up next to a man for the rest of her life. 

Her heart pounds at the thought, and it races even faster with her next thought. The euphoric feeling of her waking up next to her best friend every morning instead. Her and Fumi living together in Tokyo, in a high rise apartment, the very thought makes her feel giddy.

Nobara turns on her side to stare at Fumi, who in turn stares back. Her hand reaches out and caresses the other girl’s cheek. Her skin is warm and soft to the touch. She gives her a hopeful smile and watches as Fumi closes her eyes, like she knows where this is going. Just like the time they practiced. 

This kiss feels different then the one they shared three years ago. Nobara doesn’t feel as nervous as she did the first time, maybe because this isn’t pretend or practice. She doesn’t pull away out of fear like the last time, she gives Fumi enough time to kiss her back. 

Fumi’s brown eyes flutter open as Nobara pulls away from her. Nobara’s heart thrums in her chest, looking at Fumi’s face is making guilt bubble up. She’s leaving her behind… The same way Saori left her, the same way her mother left her… She’s doing the same thing. Nobara awkwardly clears her throat.

“Sorry…” Nobara mumbles. She awkwardly stretches, looking up at the stars, away from Fumi. “It’s getting late… My train leaves early tomorrow.”

Fumi nods. “Yeah…” When Nobara peeks another look at her face, she looks confused as to why Nobara apologized in the first place.

She can’t do this to her. The villagers already think so low of her and Fumi, especially their connection to Saori. If Nobara pursues this any further, Fumi will just get hurt, she’s moving— six hours away by train . The harassment is already so bad, if the villagers knew that they had kissed then both girls would have to deal with an onslaught of homophobic remarks and even more cruelty. She can’t just leave Fumi to deal with that on her own.

It’s a strange feeling, seeing someone off, someone you thought you’d be with forever. 

Fumi is trembling at the train station. She doesn’t know what to make of last night. Nobara kissed her, it felt good… then Nobara left… and didn’t speak a word of it. 

Why?

Why did she do that?

Now her best friend is leaving her. She’s getting a fresh start. Nobara voiced many times that she doesn’t plan on ever stepping foot back in their village. She’s talked about not only going for school, but to find modeling work, and to find Saori.

But what about her?

Does she hold a place in Nobara’s heart? Nobara certainly had a spot in Fumi’s—a massive one. Does Saori hold a bigger spot? It’s been seven years since they saw Saori off, they never heard from her again.

Will Nobara cry for Fumi, the same way she cried for Saori? The thought leaves her with a bitter taste. 

She’s focusing so hard on not thinking about it, about everything. Saori, Nobara leaving, the kiss, her inevitable loneliness, it’s all too much. She stares at the ground.

Nobara never cries, not in front of others. The only time Fumi witnessed such a display of emotions was when Saori left and Nobara sobbed her little heart out. Will she miss Fumi? Will she cry for her?

Some dark part of her cries out yes! Yes she wants to be able to trigger that level of emotion from her best friend, to know she means that much. It’s wrong, it isn’t right to want something like this.

She’s staring at the other girl’s shoes, not quite processing the words Nobara is saying, she’s just rambling about how she’s getting out of here. It’s exactly what she expected to hear.

Until there’s a pause. 

“Fumi…” 

That catches her attention, she looks up to stare at Nobara. The other girl looks distraught now, upset, not like the cheery girl happy to leave everything behind she was only minutes ago.

“Next time we see each other, let’s make sure…” Nobara swallows, like she’s trying to hold something back. “… All three of us are there!”

Fumi’s eyes widen, Nobara wants them to meet up? To stay in each other's lives? She really believes that Fumi can escape this village too? There’s a sniffle, Nobara’s biting her lip, trying to hold back tears. Tears for her…

That makes her own eyes well up. The tears fall quicker than Nobara’s do, fat droplets rolling down her cheeks as the train doors close.

“Ye… Yeah!” Fumi finally finds her voice and the train carrying Nobara takes off. 

She gives Nobara time to settle into her school life before asking to call. Nobara uploads on social media quite often, Fumi finds herself scrolling through new pictures every day. She posts selfies with Tokyo landmarks, her shopping hauls, whatever food she got when she went out, and worst of all… pictures of her new friends.

She shouldn’t feel like she’s being replaced. It’s normal to make new friends, but this just sucks. She scrolls through another picture, Nobara is flashing a peace sign and leaning into a taller girl with glasses; she doesn’t look too friendly. On Nobara’s other side is a boy with black, spikey hair who looks ticked off, it looks like Nobara is forcing him into the picture. 

Yup these seem like the types of people Nobara would attract.

Sometimes she’ll see a picture of a boy with a bowl cut, he’s always wearing a mask in his pictures. She used to see another boy, with pink hair—but lately he hasn’t been appearing in any of Nobara’s photos. She has to assume that means they got into a fight or something.

They still text of course, Nobara sent her a lot of messages her first week there, sending pictures of her dorm room and the decor she set up. Fumi noticed something that bothers her the other day, in so many of Nobara’s photos she has a bandage or scuff of some kind; and not just her, the other students too!

Was Nobara turning into even more of a delinquent now that she was in Tokyo? Fumi couldn’t care less what she did, as long as Nobara wasn’t getting hurt. 

She takes a deep breath before hitting the call button. Her phone rings and then she hears a click.

“Fumi?”

“Nobara-chan!” 

God, it feels so good to hear her voice, it instantly sets her mind at ease.

“Hi!” There’s some rustling on Nobara’s end. “Lemme set this up so we can video.”

Fumi sets her phone down, staring back at Nobara through her screen. 

“It’s been a whole month!” Nobara continues. “I missed my Fumi time.” 

Fumi’s heart does a somersault at that. 

“I missed you too.” She mumbled back quietly, her face now a few shades darker.

“Tokyo is amazing, Fumi! I can’t wait for you to visit! I’m sure if I talk to my teachers we can arrange for a sleepover at my dorm too!” Nobara insists. The ginger then goes on a tangent about all the different stores she’s been to, the types of food she’s tried.

“Your birthday is coming up.” Fumi interrupts her. “Can you give me your new address? I can send you something.”

“Whaaa…” Nobara quickly shakes her head, “you don’t have to do all of that for me. Just call me the day of and that will be my birthday present, okay?”

“O-okay…” Fumi nods, a little disappointed. She knows Nobara loves getting things, but maybe…maybe her voice is a gift to Nobara? She shouldn’t be so negative.

“Anyway school is alright, my classmates are way better than the douches we had back home… Are they bothering you?”

Fumi shakes her head. “No, no it’s not too bad!” She insists.

It's a lie. She’s just grown accustomed to it. It’s easier to lay low and not react to the harassment sent her way. She doesn’t have Nobara to fight her battles for her anymore. 

“Well…if you say so…so there’s Fushiguro who’s super closed off, he’s kind of a grouch! Inumaki-senpai is mute so I’m trying to learn sign language— Oh! And there’s Maki-san! Have I mentioned Maki-san yet?”

Fumi merely shakes her head as Nobara rambles about her classmates. Maki must be the girl with the glasses, Fushiguro must be the spikey boy. She’s beginning to feel a little bitter, listening to Nobara talk about this Maki person… It reminds her of how Nobara would talk about Saori. And she looks gorgeous from the pictures Fumi has seen, Maki has beautiful dark hair, she wears a ponytail like Fumi, but somehow manages to make it look ten times more elegant.

There’s a knocking noise coming from Fumi’s phone. Nobara turns her head looking at her door. Someone is knocking on Nobara’s door.

“Oh shoot! That’s Maki-san! I have to train—I mean we have to catch the train—yup, going into the big city!”

“Already?” Fumi can’t stop the word from leaving her mouth. Her brows furrow…why is Nobara lying to her? Someone who’s normally so honest and true to themself as Nobara tends to be shitty liars. She doesn’t press on the matter, what if she ends up upsetting Nobara?

“I’m sorry, I’ll call you later okay?” Nobara folds her hands together in apology, giving her a small bow.

The call ends and Fumi sighs. The people Nobara respects, they all get honorifics. Saori-chan, and now Maki-san. She doesn’t use honorifics for the boy Fushiguro…and she doesn’t use honorifics with her. Is Fumi on the same level as this Fushiguro person? How important is she to Nobara… was she just a classmate all along?

She tries not to dwell on it. She can look forward to their next call instead. But it worries her; sure, Nobara promised a call… But what if she gets bored of Fumi? What if the calls eventually stop?

Much to Fumi’s horror, the calls start to cease. Nobara continues to text her, ensuring that she is just busy with her academics and with her school’s big event. It sounded like a sports festival from how Nobara describes it. She promises once September passes she will have more time to talk on the phone with Fumi.

September passes, and Nobara informs her via text message that things had gotten busy again. Her texts were apologetic, and her social media doesn’t have as many photos as it did the previous months, so Fumi accepts that Nobara is actually busy.

She still texts, maybe not as frequently as she used to. Fumi feels awkward double texting her, even though that was something they used to both do to each other. She’s not used to Nobara not having time for her. Despite knowing Nobara is busy she can’t help but feel jealous; she’s too busy for Fumi but her classmates get all of her attention now. It’s not fair. 

Once Halloween passes, the text messages cease all together. Fumi is immediately on high alert. She saw on the news that there was a terrorist attack in Shibuya the very night. There’s a sick feeling in her gut. Anger—anger that Nobara was apparently too busy to call her but she could go out into the city on Halloween night? She doesn’t even know if her best friend is dead; the death toll keeps ticking up, and Fumi can’t look away from the news. She goes into research mode, searching up Nobara’s name and going through obituary after obituary. She doesn’t want to find her name, but being in the dark is far worse than getting an answer. Nobara’s grandma hasn’t been home since news of the terrorist attacks, so she can’t question the old woman about her granddaughter’s whereabouts. She feels deeply unsettled by the news and the Kugisaki matron’s departure. 

It’s been nearly a week since Halloween when her cellphone rings. She doesn’t recognize the number. She trembles, on the verge of hyperventilating before she finally accepts the call.

“H-hello?”

“Is this Fumi Motomura?” The voice on the other line asks. It’s not Nobara, this voice definitely belongs to a woman, but it’s a pitch deeper than her friend’s.

“Y-yes!” She squeaks out. “W-who’s calling?”

“My name is Maki.” Fumi’s heart sinks when she hears the other girl introduce herself.

“You…you’re Nobara-chan’s classmate? Where is she? What happened? I-I’ve sent so many texts messages and she hasn’t respo—”

“Sorry.” Maki cuts her off with an apology. Her heart sinks into her stomach. “I don’t have good news.”

“Oh god…please don’t tell me—” Fumi hiccups, tears threatening to spill. She wobbles on her feet and stumbles over to her desk chair. There’s no way she can stand right now. She can feel her vision starting to get darker and darker and Maki’s voice becoming more muffled. Fumi tucks her head between her legs and takes deep breaths in an effort to not pass out.

“Nobara is in a coma.”

Fumi snaps her head up. “Wh—She’s not—She’s not dead?”

“No… Uh… She’s not doing great if I’m being honest.” Maki replies awkwardly. “But she’s a strong girl.”

“I know.” Fumi answers back. Her vision is starting to get clearer now, but her body shivers, now coated in a layer of cold sweat.

“Nobara talks about you all the time.” 

“She—She does?” Fumi asks, feeling bewildered. She’s pretty sure her mouth is open in shock. Fumi realizes this is the longest she’s talked to someone who isn’t her parents or Nobara in practically years.

“Yeah.” Maki snorts back, Fumi can hear the smile on the other woman’s face. “I know you’re important to her so I wanted to reach out… Sorry it took so long, things are a mess over here.”

“Be-because of the attack?”

“Yeah… uh, most of our classmates and faculty were in Shibuya that night… when the terrorism happened.” Maki rasps.

Fumi feels a pang of guilt. For all her jealousy, thinking Nobara was leaving her when, in actuality, her entire school got involved in this mess somehow? She feels horrible.

“Oh god… Did you get hurt too?”

That makes Maki laugh. “You’re just as sweet as Nobara said, don’t worry about me.”

“I want to see her, what hospital is she—”

“No.” Maki cuts her off once more, her voice stern. “It’s way too dangerous here. One of us will call you when it’s safe. Or Nobara will when she wakes up.”

Maki’s use of the word when instead of if makes her feel relieved. This is Nobara’s senpai, she should trust her judgement. 

“Okay… Thank you for telling me.”

It’s over two months later when Fumi finally gets a call. It’s another unknown number, not Nobara’s number, not Maki’s number.

“Hi!” It’s a boy, he sounds cheery. “This is Fumi, right?”

“Ye-Yes!” 

“Good! I’m Yuuji Itadori, one of Kugisaki’s classmates.” Oh Fumi has heard that name before. He was in early pictures of Nobara’s social media before taking a break and reappearing in them.

“The one with the pink hair?” 

“Yup!” He chuckles. “Things are hectic over here, Kugisaki doesn’t have a phone anymore.”

“Is Nobara-chan…”

“Awake?” Yuuji only pauses for a few seconds. “Yup! She’s with our school’s doctor right now.”

“She’s okay?” Fumi’s voice trembles as she asks.

“Yeah! Do you think you can travel here? We thought it would be a nice surprise for Nobara if you visited her.”

A surprise for Nobara, her presence is a gift to Nobara? Her heart races at the concept.

“R-really?”

“Of course, you are her best friend, aren’t you?”

“I am!” Fumi exclaims and then repeats a little more softly, “I am.”

‘Great! I’ll text you the details! Don’t worry about travelfare, Fushiguro is going to cover it.”

Another name. Nobara’s classmates all sound so nice, she’s shocked. She’s not used to this level of kindness from her own classmates, and she was under the impression city folk were a bit more on the ruder side.

“O-okay!”

Her train ride was booked for her by Fushiguro, who apparently had come into some wealth. It’s a long grueling ride, about six hours in total. Fumi wonders how Nobara managed to do the ride, she imagines her best friend wasn’t too pleased. She giggles at the thought and opts to read a book. The closer she gets, the more anxious she feels. How is Nobara doing? Did she have a brain injury, was that why she was in a coma? She’ll have her answers soon as to why Nobara’s school was out in Shibuya that night. 

And maybe—maybe she can finally understand why Nobara kissed her that day. Fumi’s fairly certain Nobara is gay, even if the other never said it out loud. The way her friend had gushed about Maki, about Saori and various female celebrities as they were growing up helped her reach that conclusion. But Fumi isn’t cool like those women, so why would Nobara kiss her? Was that kiss also practice, like the ones they shared in junior high?

She can barely focus on her book with all these thoughts buzzing in her head.

She wasn’t expecting anyone to pick her up from the station. Fumi was planning on getting off the train and immediately hailing a cab to Nobara’s school. She doesn’t recognize either of these people from the pictures. One is a tall boy with black hair and dark blue eyes, his hair is much neater than Fushiguro’s, the other is a girl a bit taller than her, her body is riddled with scars and she has piercing gold eyes. Fumi blinks; her face does look familiar, but she’s used to seeing pictures of a woman with flawless skin, longer hair, and glasses. She squints, taking in the sight of the two.

"Um… Are you Maki-chan?” Fumi asks, a bit nervous. She looks like a completely different person, and this is the same girl who told her not to worry about her? No wonder Nobara admires her so much.

“Nice to finally meet you Fumi.” Maki replies with a nod, she jerks her head over to the boy next to her. “This is Yuuta.”

“Oh, h-hello.” Fumi gives him a nervous bow that he returns.

“You can call me Okkotsu if you’d like.” He offers her with a smile. He has dark eyebags, and a stitching along his forehead that looks fresh. What the hell was going on at this school?

“Nice to meet you Okkotsu-kun…Um, are you going to take me to Nobara-chan?”

It takes her a moment, but the name is familiar. She’s certain Yuuta is someone Nobara had complained to her about, something about how he somehow ruined her chances at a trip to Kyoto. Looking at the boy before her, she really has no idea what Nobara meant, how could he ruin a trip?

“That’s the plan.” Maki replies and then sneers. “She has no idea we’re picking you up.”

 “Right… a surprise.”

They end up in the outskirts of Tokyo, it’s not exactly what Fumi was expecting. The vibes of this school are so odd. Maki and Yuuta keep exchanging glances with each other and Fumi can’t help but feel excluded. She falters a little behind them as they walk past the torii gate. Yuuta stops walking and turns to look at her. 

“Fumi-san.... You heard about what happened in Shinjuku, right?”

She blinks at him, perplexed. Wasn’t it another terrorist attack, by the same people responsible for Shibuya?

“Yes? It…It was terrosim, right?”

“That’s one way to put it.” Maki sighs. “But I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors right? At least the ones about Shibuya.”

“Rumors… You mean the survivors talking about monsters? That’s just a conspiracy theory… Right? Like mass hysteria to cope with what really happened.”

Yuuta bites his lip. “Do you believe in spirits?”

Fumi tilts her head at the odd question. “I guess?” She’s never had any paranormal encounters herself, but it was extra common to hear superstitious stories out in the countryside.

“They’re real.” Maki says, like it’s information anyone would know. “That’s what this school is for.”

“What?”

It sounds crazy, but at the same time… It’s starting to make sense. All those times Nobara or her grandma said something that she didn’t understand. The wounds all of her classmates wore.

“This school is for exorcising spirits, Kugisaki-san is like us, people who are capable of doing that.” The boy explains, a little more in depth than his classmate.

“So…you all, kill evil spirits?” Fumi asks, feeling a little dumb for asking at this point.

“Pretty much.” Maki shrugs and bonks Yuuta on the head. “I’m pretty sure Nobara should have been the one to tell her that.” She mumbles to him, looking a little displeased.

“Ah…you’re probably right, Maki-san.” Yuuta pouts, rubbing his head. He gets an eye roll in response. 

Fumi feels a touch dizzy with all this new information, she braces herself against the red wooden gate.

“S-so… did a spirit… a spirit hurt Nobara? Did evil spirits hurt you?”

“Yes.” Both Maki and Yuuta reply simultaneously. 

“But… um…”

Yuuta seems to pick up on Fumi’s discomfort, quicker than Maki does. “Hey it’s okay. All of us are doing much better, and Kugisaki-san will be excited to see you, I’m sure.”

Fumi simply nods along. At this point, she just wants to see Nobara’s face, to see that she’s alive.

They’ve entered what appears to be a dormitory building. Maki and Yuuta guide her through the common room and down a hallway.

“Oi, Nobara open up.” Maki calls, rapping her fist against the door.

“Huh?” It’s muffled from the other side, but Fumi instantly knows that voice. She clenches her fists, which Yuuta notices and offers her an awkward pat on the shoulder.

“You’ve got a visitor.” Is all Maki says before grabbing Yuuta’s arm and dragging him away. She casts a glance at Fumi and gives her a nod before she walks off.

“I swear to god if it’s my Granny aga—”

Nobara’s eye goes wide. Her eye, not eyes. Fumi’s eyes widen at the sight. Her best friend looks overall the same save for a black eyepatch covering where her left eye should be. She can make out scarred flesh peeking out of the patch. Nobara lost an eye? No one told her that had happened. 

“No-Nobara-chan.” Fumi’s voice cracks, and her eyes start to wet with tears.

“Fumi?” Nobara looks like a deer in headlights, shocked to see her. Fumi loses control of her body, flinging herself at Nobara. The other girl catches her into a bonecrushing hug.

“How did you—You came to visit me?” Nobara squeaked out against her, burying her face into Fumi’s shoulder.

“Y-your friends… They wanted to…to surprise you.” Fumi manages to get out. Nobara’s grip is so tight, it’s hard to breathe. Getting the message, Nobara eases up, pulling away slightly.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry you must have been so worried.” Nobara begins, her eye welling up with tears.

“I—Maki-chan told me what happened. S-so I wasn’t completely in the dark.”

“Whatever, I still made you cry.” Nobara grumbles against her.

“N-no… Th-these are happy tears!” Fumi explains. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you again and—”

Nobara cuts her off with a bombshell.

“I thought of you when I was dying.”

“Dying???” Fumi exclaims. “They didn’t say you—”

“Well I did… For a few minutes. My body went into shock, and my heart stopped.” Nobara shrugs, as if it was not a big deal she had a near-death experience. 

“Was this… when you were fighting spirits?”

Nobara blinks, and her face scrunches up in confusion.

“Your friends told me that you guys kill evil spirits.” Fumi answers for her. She frowns, she hates that Nobara kept this information from her. 

“Oh… Yeah.” Nobara mumbles awkwardly. “I’m a jujutsu sorcerer.”

Fumi nods, absorbing the information Nobara is finally providing her.

“I guess you can see why Granny didn’t want me to go to school here.” She gestures to her eyepatch and gives Fumi a weak smile. Fumi reaches out, her fingers brush the material of the patch, it feels like leather.

“Did it hurt?”

Nobara offers a shrug. “I was asleep for most of it… But, when I thought I was dying… I thought about you and I felt… I felt so awful. I left you and if I died I was never going to see you again.”

“Oh Nobara…” Fumi whispers, not using her honorifics for once. Which makes her curious… Maybe now is the time to ask Nobara all the questions that have been keeping her up. “Why do you never use honorifics for me?”

The ginger’s eyebrows raise curiously “Why don’t I? Because you’re Fumi… You’re…” Nobara groans before she finishes her sentence. “You’re more important than honorifics. You’re the most important person.”

“Oh…” She wasn’t expecting that answer. It makes her push her luck. “If I’m so important… Why did you leave me?”

There’s a look of hurt on both of their faces now. Nobara backs away a bit, giving her space. She glances down at the ground before looking back up at Fumi.

“Because… I knew I couldn’t be myself if I stayed… And…and I’m different. The villagers hated me for that, and I would have just dragged you down with me… I tried to reject these feelings… But I couldn’t.”

“What do you mean…” Fumi asks, her brows furrowing. Are Nobara’s feelings what Fumi thinks they are? 

“The villagers can’t stand girls like me or Saori… I didn’t want it to get worse for you too.” Nobara looks at the ground as she speaks.

“I… Nobara-chan… I’m the same way.” 

“Huh?”

Fumi can’t help but giggle. “I wouldn’t have agreed to practice kissing all those years ago if I didn’t think about it a little bit.”

“What? Really?”

Fumi just nods at her, a small smile on her face. They’re on the same page now. She closes the distance, compelled by a sense of confidence. She presses her lips to Nobara’s eyepatch and slowly pulls away, brown eyes staring at the singular amber eye. Nobara’s face splits into a grin before she surges forward and kisses her.