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A few things about this place were starting to get on Raz's nerves.
First off that huge moth kept getting in his way, stealing the seeds he needed to get back for Bob Zanotto and saying it was apparently for his own good.
And second, the amount of water present in this guy's mind has already caused Raz to almost drown multiple times just trying to get said seeds back.
Drowning has never been fun, being such a common occurrence in Raz's life with the curse and all, but now knowing the truth behind all of it just made him feel worse, especially with every time he was 'reminded', a fact Raz was trying his best not to think about at this time really.
And thus, with all of this, Raz now found himself wandering through Bob Zanotto's mind, one of the original psychic 6 - or well 7 - deep within one of the many large bottles found laying around the beaches now above them. He was currently in a broken down and overgrown recreation of the main loby of the Mother Lobe, appreciating the scenery.
Yes, the water was annoying, but it didn't stop it from being pretty.
"Hey kid ya mind picking me up?"
Raz was startled out of his day dreaming thoughts as he heard the same familiar voice beckon from above the small steps, a vegetable recreation of the head of Bob Zanotto was planted a few steps ahead of him, how Raz hadn't noticed him isn't something that occurred to him.
The kid had been tasked a few times in his fleeting moments in this man's mind to carry around these large heads that could push away water from himself like a force field to get to dry land safely. Raz took a peak just ahead of where the head had landed, and beyond the hallway was what seemed like a whole cave system that crawled downwards, filled to the top with water. Raz knew he wouldn't be able to get through there without Bob's help, even if he tried.
So, doing what he's done a few times already, Raz silently walked over and picked the very heavy vegetable Bob up, placing him above his own shoulders and carrying them both into the flooded hallway, which descended into a deep lush cave system.
Taking a few careful steps down, Raz noted how the once concrete floor, now turning to cave dirt, was weirdly dry for something that was just covered in water. He tried his best not to trip on all the flora around, but even with the 'hydrophobic' head by his side, Raz could feel the spike in anxiety within him as they entered the cave. He could sense the water pushing from every angle, trying desperately to get to him, grab him, and drag him down with it.
"So.. what's up with you and water?" The head once again spoke up above him.
"What?" Raz said, both surprised and a bit out of breath from carrying the heavy weight.
"I saw you before you know, when you fell in the water and that hand thing showed up. Happened a few times even. You afraid of water or something?"
"What, no." Raz was quick to respond, having had this same conversation many times before, but now he realises, he's not sure anymore "Well, yes. I guess? I don't know, it's a long story"
"Wanna talk about it? Seems we might be in this cave for... a while" Raz could feel the head look fowards, like it was trying to peak through the densely colored water and guess how long the trip might still take.
Raz then thought for a moment on how he could respond, the conversation he had just before with Ford about the Astralathe flashing in his mind.
'Curses aren't real Razputin'
"I- well it's kind of embarrassing now that I think about it..."
"You're literally in my mind right now walking through all of my most embarrassing memories, I wouldn't care at this rate" even without a body Raz could feel the shrug that the radish Bob was trying to pull off.
"Well um... my whole life I've been dealing with this... 'curse' thing. My whole family was cursed to never be able to touch water without it trying to drag us down and drown us" he started.
"I didn't know curses were real!"
"Thats because they aren't. Ford used the Astralathe to convince my family into being so scared of water we thought it was a curse, turns out it was nothing more then a hoax. And I've started to realise that the 'water hand thing' might just be my own hydrokineses acting up, to be honest"
"Wait wait, Ford? Why would Ford do something like that??"
Raz continued walking silently, it suddenly hit him, as if he wasn't just talking about it. The curse wasn't real, his grandma isn't real either. Twenty years of a lie. How was he supposed to explain to Bob about Ford's weird plan if, really, he had barely processed it himself.
"...So like.." After a beat of silence, Bob spoke up again. "you can't touch any body of water? At all? Not even knee height water?"
"Nope" Raz was grateful to talk about something other than Ford.
"But if you know this curse isn't real, how come it still affects you?"
"Well i mean.. I've thought throughout my whole life that just being close to water could kill me, so.. maybe I really am just scared of water now"
"Man.. have you spoken to anybody about this at all?"
"I found out about it an hour ago"
"Jesus kid. Are you ok after all of that?"
And something about that last comment made Raz stop in his tracks, like he was rooted to the ground.
Everything felt heavy, did he just now notice how heavy Bob was? Or was it the pressure of the sea water around them screaming to drown them both?
His limbs felt weak, like his legs would give in and he'd topple over at any moment. He needed to breathe, he couldn't breathe.
With all the gentleness Raz could muster, he placed Bob's head down carefully on the dry floor, and shakily sat down beside him as he stared off into space.
"Kid?" Raz could hear Bob's voice, but he couldn't process the concerned face looking directly at him. All he could feel was the water around him, the hands clawing to come in.
Raz looked up at the water celling above him, it reminded him of the last time he was in a situation like this, trapped in an air bubble under water. It was a few days ago, back at whispering rock with Linda.
But that was all real, in the real world, with real water, and what was at the time a very real curse.
Raz slumped his head fowards and held it in his hands, shutting his eyes tight and pressing them into the palms of his hands. He had to calm down or he'd start hyperventilating.
"Kid are you ok??" there was genuine concern in the man's voice. Raz noted to himself that he should probably reply, probably tell him that everything was fine and not to worry, but he was putting so much energy into not crying at the moment that he couldn't find it in himself to do anything else.
Crud were those tears in his eyes?? Ok never mind, plan B. Put in all the energy to cry as quietly as possible.
"Shit... what do I do- man I was never good at comforting people..." Raz could hear Bob mumble to himself. He really shouldn't be the one worrying Bob right now.
Raz felt himself starting to shake lightly. He hated the idea of crying infront of.. well anybody. He wanted people to see him as someone responsible, someone you could rely on, someone who had the mental capability and capacity of being a Psychonaut.
Someone with full control over themselves and their reactions.
Having these issues weigh him down so easily felt like such a sign of weakness, even if deep down he knew it wasn't.
Come on Razputin, you didn't fight off other people's panic attacks just to have your own
"Listen kid, just take deep breaths okay? Whatever it is that you've been going through, I'm sure you have people around you who care okay? People to support you. Just uh don't end up like me alright? Haha"
Missing the self deprecating joke, Raz tried to cling on to whatever Bob was saying. Think about something that could ground him.
People who care..
Raz took a few deep breathes as he tried to think about the people who cared about him in his life.
Like Sasha, Milla and Lili. If they were here right now they'd try to comfort Raz, help him with whatever they could. Sasha would look for a pragmatic way to help him out, while Milla gives him a tight warm hug. Even Coach Oleander cares enough and would be by his side and try to comfort him.
And his family would be there too. His dad risked himself to help Raz in his own mind. Even when angry they still loved him.
Maybe things will end up ok, because there are people around who care.
With one last shaky breath, Raz wiped his teary face and looked over to the leading path of the cave. The water was in the exact same place that he left it, no hands were out trying to snatch him, he was ok.
"You feeling better kid?"
Raz sniffed as he wiped his face once more, looking back at Bob. "Yeah, I didn't mean to react like that, sorry" he slowly got up and brushed the dry cave dirt off his pants.
"Hey relax, I've seen way worse" the head laughed by himself "sorry uh for asking anyways, didn't know it was such a touchy subject."
Raz took a few steps and picked up the head again, placing it over his shoulders.
"No I should... probably talk about it more really" he started his forward march towards the exit of the cave once more, taking careful steps "it's been weighing me down lately".
"Yeah... I get that."