Work Text:
Ren: Hey, you up?
Mako: Yeah.
Ren: Me too.
Mako: I can see that.
Ren grinned at Makoto’s response. That was absolutely the dry response he was hoping he’d get out of her.
Ren: Now now Mako, there’s no need for that.
Mako: What, pray tell, do you mean by that?
Ren: What do I mean by what?
Mako: THAT!
Ren: What?
Mako: Ren…
Ren glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight and pitch black outside. As much as he appreciated being able to sleep through the night without a blanket over his head, being back in the countryside, in his hometown, held very few charms for him.
When he was shipped off to Tokyo a year earlier, Ren thought he would miss the quiet, unassuming town he grew up in. Everyone knew everyone else, and unfortunately, everyone else’s business. No one afforded the teenager grace when he was wrongly accused of assault, so all the “happy” faces and faux-concern amongst his peers and people he barely considered acquaintances upon his return did little to suppress his sadness about being separated from his true friends.
Mako: Ren?
From his girlfriend.
He so wanted to be pleased to be back to what was so comforting and familiar just a year before. To embrace his absent parents and just slot back into the day-to-day tedium of country life… but that just wasn’t who he was anymore. Moving away to a huge city, finding his people, becoming the leader of the Phantom Thieves and steering the world away from sure disaster… it had been the making of Ren Amamiya. With Arsene in his heart, he was confident; he was sure; he was unstoppable.
Then he came back home. Sure, his friends were only on the other end of a message, or a call, but he felt the distance all too keenly the longer he was away.
He sighed, realising that Makoto had messaged him again. It was only his name with a question mark, but he knew instinctively that she was worried. Despite the time, and uncaring as to whether Sae Niijima would be home, he pulled up Makoto’s contact and pressed call .
It was very unusual for Ren to just stop messaging so abruptly, especially given the playful tone she hoped was coming across (admittedly, she was still working on conveying that over text, wanting to be less beep boop and more… whatever the equivalent was for a human). Especially when the typing bubble came up, stalled, then disappeared altogether. Her brows furrowed, worried, but as she went to press call , his name and picture flashed up on the screen.
She stared at the photo for a moment. It had been taken during the school trip in Hawaii, before they had started dating, but were very close regardless. Ren had a purple-blue hibiscus tucked behind his ear and a coconut cup in his hand. She’d snapped the photo just as Ann attacked Ryuji with a flower of his own. Later, when they were officially an item, they chose that as his contact photo together.
“Ren? Are you okay?” Makoto asked as an answer to his call.
“Hey, Mako. I’m okay. I just wanted to speak to you. Hear your voice.”
She smiled, and even though she couldn’t see him, she knew he was smiling too. “Likewise. Now, what did you mean?”
She wasn’t going to give up easily, he should’ve known that and the gasp he let out, followed by the slight stutter, gave away that she caught him off guard. Hah, serves him right , she thought to herself. Payback for all the times he’s made me blush in public!
There was a pause before Ren started laughing, Makoto following along. “Oh, you know I’m just being playful, Queen.”
“Yes well,” Makoto cleared her throat before donning her most regal voice. “A Queen likes an answer when she requests it.” A beat. “Especially from her Joker.”
It was Ren’s go to turn on the flair. “It is a Joker’s role to entertain the court, your majesty, whilst always having the most insight to his surroundings. Giving the game away from the beginning would not be entertaining, would it now?”
Makoto giggled. He sure was committed to… whatever this was. “I accept your response.”
They continued to talk about how their days had been; Ren recounted how he visited his old high school for the first time since he’d been back and how uncomfortable he felt, and Makoto explained how she and Haru had secured the apartment they were going to share for their college years. Sis had given her blessing, and she wasn’t going to be too far away.
“You know, once we’re settled in, you could always come and stay with us,” Makoto said, her words trailing off with a hopeful, yet hesitant lilt.
It warmed Ren’s heart. “I’d like that. If Haru’s cool with it, of course.”
“Absolutely! It was her idea in the first place,” Makoto explained. “She was hoping that we could all get together before school started for a house party. Which, in Haru terms, is a tea party, of course.”
Ah yes, Okumura-chan. Pretty, proper and an absolute menace once she got her hands on an axe. He was grateful that he was never at the receiving end of any of the Phantom Thieves girls’ rage… even Ryuji and Yusuke hadn’t been that lucky. He thought of his team mates; it would be good to see them all together, and it would no doubt be good for Yusuke to eat a proper meal.
“I will never say no to a hangout with food,” Ren told her. “Perhaps the others will actually eat something without refined sugars and enough fat content to feed a small country.”
“Little chance,” Makoto laughs. “Hell would have to freeze over for Ryuji to give up his Montas. Or Ann with her crepes. Or Futaba with her instant noodles. Or Morgana with his fatty tuna. Or Yusuke with… being Yusuke, I suppose.”
Ren liked this. It was easy to talk to Makoto, and the gentle reminiscing soothed the pit in his stomach that grew whenever he thought of being in this place long-term.
It was unfortunate, then, that that very thought of better times caused that pit to open yet again. He had fallen quiet as he crawled back into himself, despite his efforts to stay focused and present.
Ren had stopped talking. At first she’d thought that he was just listening, or perhaps the line had gone dead or one of their phones needed charging, but there was a shuffle on his end, and Makoto just knew he had gotten inside his own head.
“Hey, Ren? You okay?” Makoto asked, wishing more than anything that she could touch him, to soothe him with her physical presence as well as her words.
“Yeah,” he responsed, voice no more than a whisper. “I‘m letting myself get too affected by things.”
“No, you’re not,” Makoto assured him. “You’re human, remember? You are allowed to feel how you do, to work through the pain and anger. If you didn’t feel at least some rage towards being home then… then I’d say the last year had been for nothing.”
That stopped Ren’s thoughts in its tracks. If you didn’t feel at least some rage towards being home, then I’d say the last year had been for nothing. She had a point. He and his friends had spent the last year fighting against oppressor after oppressor, tyrants and monsters, all products of their own warped desires; money, power, glory - it was never enough. Nothing would ever be enough.
He was angry. In fact, he was fuming . Society had no intention of stopping those running riot, and it was left to him and the other Phantom Thieves to put a stop to it all. To stop the world going up in flames. What sort of burden is that to put on the shoulders of seven kids and a cat?
“You’re right,” he eventually said, working through the jumble of thoughts and feelings in his head. “I haven’t lived a normal life for the past year - none of us have. And now we’re meant to just… go back to our lives as they were before? That’s it?”
“It has been an adjustment for all of us,” Makoto nodded.
“You all have each other though,” Ren sighed. “You’re all near to one another and can help each other through this mess. I—“
“I know,” Makoto responded, “but we all have our own separate lives to lead, you know? Any moment in time is ephemeral - we can wish all we want for it to last forever, but nothing can last forever, not really.” She paused, wondering if she was really helping at all. “There’s a sort of beauty in that.”
“Beauty?” He asked, sitting up, interested in what Makoto meant.
“Yes. Think of a moment in time of your life where you were happy, or satisfied, or just… content, and you think later, when things aren’t quite so great, that you could just go back to that time.” Makoto took a breath. “Well, even though you know you feel like things are bad right now, the fact that things were good gives you hope that they can be again.”
“I remember,” she started, “when my father died and Sis’ attitude towards me changed, for a long time I thought that my best days that held all my fondest memories were behind me. That was it. Then I met you, and Morgana, Ann, Ryuji, Yusuke, Futaba, Haru… even Eiko, and it had me thinking that things could be better again. It gave me that bit of hope. And now I am where I am, about to go to university, sharing a place with Haru, Sis and I’s relationship is slowly mending, I have you… I have new good days and new good memories.”
Ren listened to her with rapt attention. There was something ever so soothing about the way she spoke, and how she was so sure of her words that had him believing in it too. She was right - life was never one straight road, and nothing ever stays the same. He may have wished it could; a year ago he’d of wished he never left school late and got into it with Shido, and now he wishes that he could have remained in Tokyo. It may be his wish right now, but that wish would probably be different in a year’s time.
“What I’m saying, Ren, is that it’s only for now. You’re coming to visit, right? To come see us all? And then, all being well, you’ll be back here next year anyway.” Ren had shared with Makoto his plans of coming back to Tokyo to study, and it gave him something to focus on. “Your time at home can either be something you reject, or something you embrace. Either way, you’ll not be alone.”
“Visiting my school was… exhausting,” Ren told Makoto. “There were a few students around, and they all stopped me to apologise for their behaviour last year. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that, but five times was enough; I don’t think I could handle it a hundred times over. I didn’t even recognise them!”
Makoto thought for a moment, and Ren could clearly imagine her finger curled under her chin. “How about… how about, when your homeroom teacher introduces you to the class, you say you appreciate the apologies, but there’s no need to continue to apologise, because you accept it? Hopefully they’ll get the message and leave you be.”
Ren swears he could not love this girl more right now even if he tried. “That’s a great idea. Thank you, Mako.”
“No need to thank me,” she responded, “I only want to help. If I can do that then… then I’m satisfied.”
Makoto felt relieved that she had managed to help Ren to abate some of his sadness, but it didn’t help her own. Her heart ached, and listening to him talk the way he did about yet another change to his life… her heart ached for him too. She hated the distance; when she was busy, she didn’t have to dwell on it too much, but when he was feeling like this, it took every ounce of willpower in her body to not just jump on her bike and do the three-hour journey to where he lived. It just wasn’t practical right now, especially after midnight. Still, she liked to daydream about it.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” Ren whispered, “you’re the best thing in my life.”
“Oh.” Makoto’s voice was barely audible as she drew in a shaky breath. “You can’t mean that…”
“I do,” he urged, and it was like he was pulling her hands into his. “I love you.”
Those three words broke the dam wide open. She tried to keep her sniffles and hitched breaths quiet as to not alarm Ren, but in the end, it was no good. There was no holding these tears back.
“I’m sorry— Mako, I’m sorry I made you cry—“
“No! No,” she shook her head, laughing in spite of herself. “I mean, I was meant to be helping you and instead you’re helping me.”
“We’re helping each other.”
They were. They were always partners and always equals - in their friendship, in their relationship, on the team. Makoto nodded to herself and sniffed again, grabbing a tissue as she did so. She really hoped Sae couldn’t hear her; as much as she loved her sister, she didn’t want to explain the tears. She’d have to do it two-fold, given Tae was staying the night and she really didn’t want to talk about this whole thing with her sister’s girlfriend too. Even more than that, she didn’t want them to think that Ren was the cause.
“You’re right. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” he simply responded, “I’m here for you.”
“And I for you, Ren. I love you too.” She was surprised she made it through that without another sob. “I just miss you.” Oh, well, perhaps she shouldn’t have said that, tears pricking at her eyes again.
“I miss you too, Mako.” There was a pause and another shuffle. “Hey, are you in your room at the moment?”
“Yes.”
“Go to the window,” he instructed.
“The window? Okay.” She stood by it, leaning against her desk as she did so. “I’m there.”
“Look outside.”
“Outside? Sure.” She fiddled with the blinds, pulling them up. Although nowhere in Tokyo was ever completely dark as far as she knew, the area she and Sae lived in was quiet and a stark contrast to places like Shibuya and Shinjuku; a few streetlights here and there, the odd headlight from a car or a bicycle. Makoto hoped that she could see whatever Ren wanted her to look at.
“Look up,” he said, and Makoto did so. “Look at the moon.”
“I am, it’s full tonight, huh?” Makoto said, taking in the colour. Not only was it full, it seemed to be lower, bigger than usual.
“It is. It brightens everything up, even in the dark." He trailed off before he continues. "I’m looking at the same moon as you, Mako. We’re both here, looking at the same moon, at the same time. We share the same sky. What are the odds of that? We both exist in the same reality, the same orbit, the same era with billions of others and yet, we found each other.” Ren gave Makoto a moment to let that sink in. “Whenever you miss me, just look at the sky and know I’m never far away.”
Her tears had stopped as he explained, but now, with his last sentence, they were flowing again.