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Will always felt the need to hide his more negative feelings. To bury them deep and to never let anyone know that he was actually feeling terrible. He feels the need to be happy, to be positive in front of everyone else.
Today, Will didn’t have the energy to put on a happy face. He was curled up in his bed in the Apollo cabin. Kayla and Austin tried to get him up to get breakfast at least but he shrugged them off and claimed he wasn’t hungry. They knew today was one of those days that Will wouldn’t want to go out at all, so they left him alone.
Will stared at the wall, his hand running up and down his arm, gently scratching at his skin and pinching at it. He felt…tired. But sleep wouldn’t fix his exhaustion. His mind felt empty, as if he was thinking about nothing yet he was thinking about random stuff, like the things that need to be done in the Infirmary, how he should get up and actually help out, but he also wondered how it would be if he just stayed in bed all day.
Would anybody care that he wasn’t up and about, doing what he usually did on the camp grounds? Or would people go about their day, not caring about why Will wasn’t anywhere to be found?
Will now more firmly dug his nails into his skin.
He felt stupid feeling this way. How could he feel this way? Campers loved to call him the embodiment of the sun, bright, positive and full of energy. How could he be the embodiment of the sun when he felt so…drained?
Will dragged his nails down his arm, scratching himself more firmly than before but his nails weren’t sharp enough to properly leave any marks.
Will tried to take a deep breath and shake away the less positive thoughts in his head. He shut his eyes and kept dragging his nails up and down along his arm, gently pinching himself every now and then too.
He was too focused on the turmoil in his mind to realise that someone entered the cabin. He felt a dip on his bed and he flinched, looking over and seeing that Nico had sat down next to him.
“Hey.” Nico said, his voice soft.
Will’s eyes met Nico’s. Nico’s gaze was full of worry, concern. That only made Will feel guilty for feeling so terribly. How could he make his own boyfriend worry? He didn’t want Nico to get worked up over him.
“Hi.” Will said quietly. He didn’t want his voice to crack, but of course it did.
Nico gently ran his fingers through Will’s curls.
“You didn’t eat breakfast.” Nico stated simply.
Will shook his head slightly. Nico tilted his head.
“Mmh, you always tell me breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Nico said.
Will didn’t detect any anger or annoyance in Nico’s voice, but he felt like Nico should’ve been annoyed at Will’s hypocrisy.
Nico saw a flicker of guilt spread across Will’s expression. Nico leaned in and kissed Will’s temple.
“You okay, Tesoro?” Nico asked softly.
“I’m…I’m fine.” Will mumbled, fiddling with his hands, picking at his nails.
Nico noticed the way Will fidgeted with his hands.
Nico made himself comfortable, laying down in Will’s bed next to him. He turned on his side to face the blonde haired boy.
“Mmh?” Nico hummed softly. “Feeling lazy today?” Nico’s tone was teasing, he wasn’t being serious, he wanted to make Will feel at ease. But his words made Will tense up slightly.
Was he really being lazy? Laying in bed because he had no energy to put a smile on his face and help out campers today with either healing or whatever else Will could help out with?
Nico noticed the slight tension and he gently held Will’s cheek.
“Hey, I’m messing around.” Nico smiled at Will.
Will forced a small smile at Nico, but Nico could tell Will was still overthinking things.
Nico’s thumb gently ran back and forth against Will’s freckled cheek.
“...Wanna tell me what’s up?” Nico asked softly.
Will swallowed. He shook his head slightly before he pressed his face closer against Nico’s palm. Nico watched Will carefully.
“Okay.” Nico whispered. “Want me to stay?”
Will nodded in response, his eyes meeting Nico’s. Nico saw Will’s pleading eyes, knowing that if he left, Will may spiral down a darker hole than he was in now.
Nico shuffled closer to Will in the bed.
“Wanna cuddle?” Nico asked, his tone of voice remaining soft and his volume remaining quiet to make Will feel better.
“Yeah…” Will whispered, curling up against Nico, burying his face against Nico’s chest.
Nico’s arms wrapped around Will, one hand slowly caressing up and down Will’s back while his other hand stroked Will’s hair.
Will breathed in Nico’s scent. He felt himself relax in Nico’s arms. The bad thoughts were fading, but they were still in the back of his head.
Was he really gonna spend the whole day just cuddling with his boyfriend while campers out there may get injured throughout the day and need their camp’s healer-?
“Kayla and Austin can handle taking care of the Infirmary today.” Nico said, as if he could read Will’s thoughts and concerns.
Will stayed silent and pulled his head back slightly to meet Nico’s gaze.
“...But I’m the best healer out of the three of us-” Will began.
“You always tell me to take breaks.” Nico gently cut Will off. “Why can’t you take a day off to refresh?”
Will didn’t have a good response to that.
Nico looked down at Will and leaned in, gently kissing Will’s forehead.
“I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, whatever you’re telling yourself, but you also need to take time for yourself, Will.” Nico said softly.
Will rested his head against Nico’s chest again. Nico kept moving his hand up and down against Will’s back in a comforting way.
“No one expects you to be perfect all the time, y’know? No one ever feels great every single day. Everyone feels…gloomy some days.”
“...But the sun is always supposed to shine-” Will mumbled against Nico’s chest.
“Even on stormy days?” Nico questioned.
Will looked up at Nico. Nico gave Will a small smile.
“You are human, Will. If you didn’t feel negative in any way and only felt happy, then there’d be something wrong with you.” Nico said. “This? This is okay. It’s okay to take a day off and take time for yourself. And…I’m right here for whatever you need, alright? You wanna just cuddle here all day? I got you. You wanna talk? I’ll listen. You wanna take a walk or let me shadow travel us somewhere else other than here? I will do it.”
Will felt the corners of his lips twitch slightly, a small smile growing on his face. Nico smiled and brought a hand to Will’s face, caressing his face.
“Okay?” Nico whispered.
“Okay…” Will said softly, nodding.
“Good.” Nico said.
Will’s inner turmoil faded away as he stayed cuddling with Nico in his bed, Nico providing gentle touches and soft kisses to reassure Will that he was still loved and that having a day off, to feel terrible for today, was okay.