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“No, I won’t!”
A clear voice of a child rang out against the peaceful atmosphere of Sunday dinner. It belonged to a young boy, now aged four; a boy of sky-blue eyes and baby blonde hair, who also happened to be a budding cosmic god with a sworn vendetta against broccoli.
“They taste like soggy trees.” Franklin declared, “and I hate eating trees!”
Reed and Sue exchanged an amused look across the table.
Reed leaned forward, keeping his voice calm and rational. “Franklin, broccoli contains folate and vitamin C — both essential for neurotransmitter synthesis. Eating broccoli stimulates dopamine release in the prefrontal cortex. That means better focus, faster learning—”
“I already know my multiplication tables!” Franklin snapped back, “without broccoli!”
Reed blinked, momentarily short-circuited. He turned his wide, helpless eyes toward Sue, who gave his hands a gentle squeeze.
Ben knelt beside Franklin’s chair, holding up a single broccoli delicately between his fingers. “Franklin, do you want to be as strong as your uncle Ben? Broccoli contains something called sulforaphane. It helps your body fight off all the bad stuff. Eat enough of it, you might become as strong as me one day.”
Franklin pouted. “Chocolate also makes you stronger. Why can’t I just eat that?”
Johnny jumped in from across the table. “Franklin, did you know that we had to fly into a black hole when you were born? To get away from the bad people chasing us.”
Ben picked up the threads. “And if you drop a broccoli into a black hole, as it approaches something that is called an event horizon, the gravitational forces will—”
“eat it?”
“Well… yes.”
“Then let the black hole eat them for me!”
Undeterred, Johnny tried another tactic. “Franklin, did you know that HERBIE was actually from a planet called Brocolion? He needs a human partner to power him by eating broccoli. Otherwise he’ll shut down forever. You don’t want that, do you?”
HERBIE whirred. “Franklin… please… I am… dy-ing… Please… save… me…”
Franklin levelled Johnny with his most unimpressed look. “You made him say that.”
“Damn, that kid is smart.”
“Language.” Sue shot Johnny a look of fond exasperation.
Johnny gazed back sheepishly and ducked his head.
Finally, Ben leaned towards Sue and mock-whispered, “Suzie, was Johnny this difficult when he was younger?”
“I heard that.” Johnny deadpanned.
“Yes.” Sue smiled, “In fact, I used to get him to eat his veggies by threatening to call Reed.” She turned toward Reed, “He worshipped you back then.”
Reed turned to Johnny, his eyes a bit shiny, he opened his mouth, “—”
“Oh, do shut up.” Johnny grumbled without heat.
Sue leaned forward, a mischievous glean in her eyes. “You know, honey, maybe we should try something like this on Franklin.”
“What do you mean?”
Sue turned her full aura of maternal authority on Franklin. “Darling, if you don’t eat your broccoli right now, I’m going to call your favorite hero Spider-Man and tell him that his number one fan is being very, very difficult.”
“Un-huh, you are bluffing.” Franklin shook his head, crossing his tiny arms.
————————————————————
Meanwhile, in an apartment in Queens:
Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man, has just suited up. He was about to leave for his nighttime patrol when his Fantasticell rang. “An emergency?” he thought to himself.
He took out his cell, Johnny’s image waving at him cheerfully from the screen. He picked up, a bit wearily. “Hello?”
There was a chipper “Hi Spider-Man, how—”
Followed immediately by a panicked shriek: “No! Mommy, no!”
Some shuffling in the background; a great clattering of plates.
Then a small voice, hurried and desperate: “Look Mommy! Look, I’m eating them!”