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The smell of fresh hay greeted Darcy as they entered the elephant’s enclosure – familiar, comforting, and home to her favourite animal companion here at the zoo. Not that they’d wanted to play favourites when they first started working here — if you asked, they’d insist “I love them all equally!” — but this particular sweetheart had a special place in Darcy’s heart. A soft tap on their shoulder caught their attention, and they reached up to stroke Raisa’s leather-like trunk, wrinkled with wisdom and age. She was the eldest elephant in the zoo, and it showed in her eyes, warm and intelligent.
“Hi, love. How are you feeling today?” They said sweetly, giving her ample pets before resting their tired head on the gentle giant. Just for a moment, just until their thoughts grew quieter. “Do you mind me sitting here, until my mind’s a bit less chaotic?”
The elephant raised her trunk, and — Darcy could be imagining this next part, but — nodded her head. Always ready to offer company.
It wasn’t the first time they’d sought asylum here; it was the only place where they didn’t feel judged. It had taken some time, and many heart-to-hearts with Raisa, to finally come to terms with the fact that gender wasn’t a thing they fit in with, and that non-binary was much more them. It hadn’t been a walk in the park; everybody always thought they were a blurting chaos goblin — no filter, always cheerful, an open book — but the reality was, that when it came to their deep feelings, their doubts, their pain: they were a sealed container. So processing and discovering this newfound reality was a solitary occupation; the only witnesses their beloved, four-legged and trunked friends.
They hadn’t mentioned the change in pronouns to their boss yet. Frankly, they didn’t have a clue how. So here they were: their brain buzzing, but physically grounded in the hideaway they shared with their favourite animals.
The sturdy weight they’d been leaning against suddenly shifted as their big friend – who had been standing faithfully beside them the whole time – made her way outside. Darcy startled out of their reverie and observed the cow, eager to find out where she was so purposefully heading. Raisa made her way to the fence, and that was when Darcy’s brain went quiet.
There on the bench opposite the outdoor enclosure, was the most beautiful person they had ever seen. Short brown braids adorned a soft gaze, warm and approachable, and the most radiant smile. She stood up to welcome Raisa as she approached, who immediately offered her trunk to get acquainted. Darcy couldn’t blame her, really. If only they were just as brave.
The woman settled back down, pulled a sketchbook out of her backpack, and started to draw. As for Raisa, she was parading around the exhibit like it was her own, private runway — a true supermodel. Darcy snickered watching their favourite elephant show off; she wasn’t their number one for nothing. And apparently, they shared the same taste in women.
Mesmerised, Darcy watched the interaction between their favourite animal, and the absolute dazzler who was rapidly developing into their favourite person; at the very least, the hottest one. Darcy was focused on her and only her, not noticing the elephant in their peripheral vision until she walked back into the stall and bumped them affably. The shove propelled them outside, in full view of the woman, who was just beginning to pack her belongings.
They were about to scold Raisa, until their gaze met the woman’s deep brown eyes, and Darcy’s mind went completely blank once more. That empty canvas was soon filled to the brim with light, sparks, heat, and want. They melted when she gifted them with the most radiating smile, and then proceeded to fail any interaction but an awkward wave, which was answered with a wink. Darcy’s stomach instantly swooped. Even when she was long gone from sight, Darcy couldn’t stop seeing her in their mind’s eye.
With a dramatic sigh, they finally remembered how to move, and returned to their spot next to Raisa.
“You like her too, right sweetie?” Darcy stroked her flank as they paced past her. “And could you try not to barrel into me next time?” They peeked up to glare teasingly at Raisa, and swore she actually looked triumphant.
Darcy felt lighter than they had in days. When their shift ended, they strolled towards the exit, giving cheerful goodbyes to the animals they encountered along the way. They felt invigorated. Confident.
And through this confidence, they figured they could just tell their boss they wanted their pronouns changed. No need for fear or hesitancy, right? Without giving it a second thought, they turned on their heel, changed their trajectory, and barged into her office. That earned them a surprised look.
“Hi, Darcy. Is something wrong?” she asked, a bit startled.
It was at that moment that they realised they hadn’t even knocked.
“Err… no… uhm… I just wanted… I want to change my pronouns,” they blurted out. The woman sitting at her desk took a few seconds to blink and process, then smiled.
“Okay, and what would you like them to be?”
Darcy started to giggle. They really had acted on impulse. “Sorry, I should have been more clear. I would like to use they/them pronouns.” Once the declaration was finally out, vulnerability began to wash over them; their face flushed, and their heart threatened to pound out of their chest. What were they thinking?
The woman got up and laid a hand on their shoulder. “Thank you for trusting me. I’ll make sure everything is changed in the system. Do you want to make a public announcement, or would you prefer to let people find out by telling them personally?”
Darcy was, in every manner except physical, a deer caught in headlights. A deer with a massive lump in their throat. They had been overthinking telling their boss for quite some time now, and they had rushed in here still floating on the high of seeing that cute woman, assuming they had it all covered. As it turned out, they didn’t have a clue how to proceed — it would be nice if their brain could do more than just react on impulse for once.
“I actually have no idea. Can I think about it?” Darcy finally replied, bashfully scraping the toe of their work boot against the floor.
“Of course, take your time. You shouldn’t rush things like that. Thank you for telling me.”
Darcy nodded, and left the zoo trudging, deeply lost in thought.
When Darcy walked into the canteen to put their lunch in the fridge the next day, their boss poked her head out of the office to call them in. Relieved they’d already found an answer, they followed her inside.
“You don’t have to have an answer yet to what we discussed yesterday, but I thought this might be a good start.” She handed Darcy a new name tag. Underneath their name were their pronouns. Darcy’s heart, and ultimately their eyes, overflowed with joy and recognition.
“Thank you so much. I decided on telling people in person. This will help.” They took the new tag and pinned it on their sweater. They got the old one off and left it there — out with the old and in with the new — and with that, they skipped joyfully towards their beloved friends.
The morning itself was uneventful, but their joy carried through to the afternoon, when Darcy merrily retrieved their lunch. It was a beautiful day, and they decided to eat outside, where they could talk to the elephants and soak up the unobstructed sunlight. The bench outside the enclosure would be the perfect place to let their thoughts wander to the day before, to the beauty they’d spotted, who hadn’t left their thoughts for longer than a couple of minutes. She’d even popped up in their dreams last night.
Hopelessly smitten — that’s what they were.
As they neared the enclosure, their heart skipped a beat. There, on the same bench, was the same heart-stopping woman, drawing again.
Would it be weird if they sat down next to her? Or would it be wiser to go inside the enclosure — pretend to do some chores, hoping she’ll see them — oh god, would she even want to see them? Would she remember them?
Darcy’s spiral was interrupted when the woman waved them over. They glanced behind them, ensuring no one else was around — but there was nobody there. They gingerly made their way towards the bench, slumped down, and like a switch flipped, Darcy’s impetuous side immediately took over.
“Hi, I’m Darcy! I noticed you yesterday — you made quite the impression on Raisa. Are you an artist? Would you like to share my lunch?”
They covered their month to prevent any further rambling from accidentally spilling out. But, the woman only smiled and turned to face them.
“I’m Tara. I noticed you too, and that lovely elephant. No, I’m not an artist, but drawing and elephants soothe me. And thanks for the offer, but I just had lunch before I came in,” she said, answering every blurted prompt smoothly. She shifted, and pointed to the elephants. “So, that one is Raisa? What are the other ones’ names?”
From there on, they fell into an easy-flowing conversation, and the butterflies occupying Darcy’s stomach multiplied by the minute. This woman was… just everything. Soothing,
“We should swap numbers.” Tara took her phone out, and Darcy’s deflated when they saw the phone case; the colours of the lesbian flag, proudly on display.
A year ago, they would have screamed with joy, but now… they looked down at their new name tag. This wouldn’t go beyond a new friendship. With a timid smile, they pulled their own phone out and handed it to Tara. They tried to ignore the sparks flying as their hands touched.
They couldn’t ignore the time, though.
“Sorry, my break is long over. I really have to go now,” they said apologetically. An awkward silence followed.
“Okay. I’ll text you,” Tara assured.
And with that, they both stood up and went their own way. Darcy thumbed open their phone and stared at the profile pic of Tara as they walked into the elephants’ stall; Raisa welcomed them, wrapping her trunk around their shoulders.
“Hi, sweetie. Look at her.” They angled the phone towards the giant. “Is it too soon to call her my crush? We only had one conversation, but she’s kind, intelligent, creative and endlessly hot. You must think I’m totally out of my mind — which, I am — but somehow, she nestled her way into my heart. I know you like her, too.”
Raisa waved her ears and trunk in what Darcy considered confirmation.
“But I have to get her out of my system,” they continued ruefully. “She’s a lesbian, and well… since I am no longer a girl, it wouldn’t work.”
The elephant huffed, casting them a pointed, disapproving glance.
“What? Don’t look at me like that, you know I’m right.”
Seemingly annoyed, Raisa walked outside demonstratively.
Darcy rolled their eyes, then went to pocket their phone, but paused when it vibrated. Curious, they swiped the screen and opened the message.
Tara🌼: Thank you for a lovely convo. Is it too soon to say I really liked hanging out?
Darcy almost dropped their phone in the water trough; goose bumps ran from their toes to the tip of their head, their heart barely contained inside their chest. With shaking hands, they managed to type a response. Thank god for auto-correct.
Darcy🐘: Definitely not too soon.
They pondered adding the next sentence; even if they didn’t stand a chance, surely a little flirting couldn’t hurt.
Darcy🐘: I like to eat lunch with my favourite animals, but I would choose having lunch with you anytime.
They saw the dots dancing. Then disappearing, then dancing again. With every blinking dot, their heart sank — they were too loud again, too much again — Tara was clearly trying to phrase a way to let them down easily, why did they —
Tara🌼: Good to know, maybe we can have lunch again next week?
Darcy wiggled a happy little dance, then their intestines twisted into a knot when they realised they had a seven day shift next week, with no possibility to swap. In desperation, they opened up the group chat between their most trusted, fellow-queer coworkers, and frantically sent out their plea.
Darcy 🐘: SOS. this gorgeous woman just gave me her number and wants to get lunch together next week. Is anyone available to cover any of my shifts?? Pretty please? 🙏
Their heart sank at the responses coming in: a series of ‘sorry, I’ve got a date of my own!’ (good for them, truly), ‘no can do, darce’, ‘just bring her along during your shift, ladies love hanging out with elephants’ (not a terrible idea), and various other prior arrangements. Just when Darcy was about to lose hope and pocket their phone with their metaphorical-tail between their legs, they perked up when Imogen’s message hit the chat.
Imogen 🐇: I can cover next Friday until noon! Go get your future wife, girl!
Darcy floated, fingers flying over the keyboard.
Darcy 🐘: THANK YOU!! 😍 You’re a lifesaver!
They hit send, then furrowed their brows at the second part of Imogen’s message. Just to test the waters, they typed out the following response:
Darcy 🐘: Oh, by the way, not a girl. I go by they/them pronouns now 😊
Staring at the unsent message, they felt a swell of pride and uncertainty, hand-in-hand. It’d felt good to write it out, but their thumb hovered over the send button, unsure. It wasn’t as if the people in this group chat would judge them — hell, there was a fellow enby actively in the chat and reading everyone’s responses — but this was a big step. Much more real than simply wearing the updated name tag.
The decision was promptly made for them when Raisa shifted her weight and bumped their shoulder, causing their thumb to tap the screen and send their announcement to the entire chat.
“Raisa,” they said breathily, staring wide-eyed at their phone. So that just happened.
Well. They expected themself to feel anxious, but in reality, they’re relieved. Like a weight they’d never realised was placed over their shoulders had been lifted.
And, yes, they could just delete it. But they chose not to.
“Guess what! I just came out to some of my coworkers!” Darcy exclaimed, and giggled when the elephant trumpeted gleefully. Riding their elation, Darcy swapped over to their chat with Tara, and excitedly offered to have lunch together on Friday afternoon — though it’d have to be at the zoo, seeing as they’d need to work from noon onward.
Tara 🌻: I look forward to it (;
They flushed at the emoji, and shoved their phone into their pocket, lest they literally combust. This woman was going to be the death of them.
It was Thursday afternoon, and Darcy was pacing back and forth through Raisa’s indoor stall, kicking up anxious plume after anxious plume of dust and hay with every frantic step.
“... I mean, it’s kind of insane, right? Definitely insane,” they rambled, tossing their arms up dramatically. Raisa mimicked the motion by lifting her trunk into the air. “You can’t be falling this hard after just one conversation! But she’s just so… urgh,” they groaned, finally ceasing their attempt to stomp a trench into the floor and flopping down to the hay-strewn ground. “She’s so pretty. And it’s not just that — she seems patient, and kind, like an angel. God, that’s corny.”
Raisa bobbed her head up and down in response.
“But here’s the thing, though. She’s a lesbian, and well… that means she wants a girlfriend, right?” They picked at their cuticle, then hissed when they accidentally tugged a little too hard. “But I can’t be that. I’m not… I can’t fit into that mold, I don’t want to.”
Raisa gently nudged their shoulder with her trunk, and Darcy instinctively stroked the soothing snout. They took a deep breath, held it, then released it with a loud whoosh.
“I know. I could — I should just tell her — but I’m scared. And, you know what? Maybe we were only ever meant to be friends, and I don’t want to ruin that. So I’ll just… I’ll just show up tomorrow, and try not to act like a total, impetuous idiot, and hope for the best?”
It was another gorgeous day — of course it was. Why would the universe have offered anything else but perfection in the face of the very picture of it?
And they brought flowers. Or, more appropriately, a single sunflower; bright and radiant, just like her. And facing toward her, too, because that’s what sunflowers do. They face the sun. And the way Tara lit up with a beaming smile when she spotted Darcy approaching their bench — yes, they’re calling it their bench, now, sue them — well. It may have been cheesy and poetic, but she was somehow brighter than the sun.
“Hi! I’m so glad you wanted to meet up here, even though it’s my work place. But it’s also the place we met, so maybe it’s not such a bad spot. I don’t think anywhere is bad with you around.” Darcy interrupted their ramble to come up for air, and became aware of the amused-looking, gorgeous eyes drinking them in. A deep realisation filled them: she was the sun and the moon, their whole universe. All words left them as they were captured in her gaze.
Slowly Tara’s voice trickled into their reverie.
“This is a lovely spot, and I’m happy to be here. You have a beautiful sunflower, by the way,” she said sweetly.
Darcy looked down with surprise at the flower they were clutching in their fist, then shyly offered it to Tara. “I brought it for you, actually.”
Tara happily accepted the lovely gift, tenderly setting it down on the bench. “Thank you, you're too sweet. So, how long have you been working here?”
Being in her proximity, it was as if an invisible force pulled the word vomit right out of them, and they launched off blabbering about how they got the job and how much they liked elephants.
“... and now, three years and two-and-three-quarts a month later, I’m still here! I love the elephants — Raisa is my favourite, she’s the oldest one here and definitely the matriarch of the group, and I swear sometimes she's smarter than most of my coworkers — but, oh, I may have mentioned that already, that she's my favourite. But it's true! Elephants are amazing, they're so intelligent! Did you know that elephants are really good swimmers, and use their trunks like a snorkel when they're underwater?”
Distantly, Darcy realised that they should probably slow down — Tara’s eyes were starting to bug out a little bit as she took in the plethora of information being near-breathlessly bombarded — but this was their comfort zone. And when Tara smiled and her eyes lit up, affirming their factoid with an excited “No, I didn't know that!”, Darcy was spurred to continue full-steam ahead.
“... and they really like to take mud baths, but it’s not just for fun! The mud protects their skin from sun damage and keeps the insects away. Once they're nice and covered in mud, sometimes they'll throw dust and dirt on top of all the muddiness for an extra layer of protection!”
Tara giggled at that; a melodic, heartwarming sound. “Oh! That's kinda cute, but also kind of gross?” she teased.
“Ha! Sort of like me!”
Surely they'd had a filter at some point in their life before losing it, right?
Tara snorted, covered her mouth to stifle the sound, then shook her head vigorously. “No, silly. Gross like a toddler, not like an incredibly attractive enby, such as yourself.”
Their brain went offline. They peeked down at their nametag, proudly pinned on their shirt. She had noticed! Fireworks exploded in their chest, both from the compliment and the acknowledgement. Was there actually some chemistry brewing here? On the spur of the moment — totally over the moon — they decided to invite Tara to their sanctuary.
“Would you like to have a look in the stalls of these gross animals, like a VIP-tour, by me?” Darcy had already risen and offered their hand.
Tara picked up the sunflower and took their hand eagerly. “That is a dream come true!” she exclaimed.
With that, Darcy practically dragged them towards the stalls.
Once inside, as always, the place instantly grounded them, and they felt calmer as they gave Tara the exclusive tour. The elephants were outside, but Darcy knew they would come in once they noticed that they were there. And on cue, a younger one, Baboda, snooped around the stall door and observed the new guest curiously.
“Come over here and meet Tara,” Darcy encouraged the young bull. He cautiously came closer and let himself be caressed by her. Tara beamed, cooing at the animal, and Darcy couldn’t do anything but watch with delight as their favourite creatures connected. Baboda was a restless one, though, and soon he walked outside again.
Enthusiastically, Tara was sharing with Darcy that she could be here for days, enjoying the company and drawing the animals, when Raisa came walking in and petted Darcy on their head with their trunk, then poked them in their side and gave them a little nudge. Tara laughed as Darcy nearly lost their balance, startled by the sudden affection by the elephant. They regained their composure but were now standing only a few inches away from Tara. They could smell the hint of her flowery perfume and noted the glowing, soft texture of her skin; her deep brown orbs shimmered invitingly. They wanted to feel the delicate skin under their fingers. Would she kiss somebody who wasn’t a girl?
At that moment Raisa encircled her trunk around both their shoulders and pushed them further together. Their hands automatically found each other, and Darcy felt a wave of magnetism overpowering their body. The sensation was so overwhelming that it didn’t even register when Raisa’s trunk slowly slid off, and the triumphant elephant gleefully sauntered away.
“I really would like to kiss you,” Tara whispered.
That was all Darcy needed. They cupped her face and followed her cheekbone with their thumb, feeling the little downy hairs. Their noses brushed, featherlight, before their lips found each other.
Outside, they heard an elephant heartily trumpetting.